Incorrect Cut and Run Quotes

(Incorrect) Quotes from the Cut and Run universe. Caution: Untagged spoilers. If you would like anything tagged for trigger or content reasons, please let us know.

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October 15th! Zane Garrett's birthday! Its really just an excuse to buy a giant cookie

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Harrison: If you could go anywhere or see anything, what would you choose?

Ty: Anything I want?

Harrison: Yup.

Ty: Horses on a trampoline.

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Henninger: This is foolish. You only delay your death.

Zane: Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies.

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Zane: Do you have any shaving cream?

Ty: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Zane: Wait, you eat shaving cream?

Ty: No, why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?

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My problem with the X-Files show is the alleged military involvement in alien cover ups. There’s always a black ops team hiding or killing aliens. You want me to believe that there’s a group of soldiers that knows there are aliens and didn’t tell anyone? We couldn’t keep the SEAL who shot Bin Laden from opening his mouth and you think a bunch of privates know there are aliens and kept it a secret? As an NCO I couldn’t keep my Joes from telling their stripper girlfriends the grid coordinates of our next op and you want me to believe they can keep their mouth shut about aliens?

Ty Grady

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Annie, about Ty: He’s covered in blood again. Why is it he’s always covered in blood?

Zane: Looks like it’s his own, this time.

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Nick: Kelly, I need the-

*Kelly hands him his laptop*

Nick: Oh, also, I didn't have a chance to-

*Kelly hands him coffee*

Nick: Marry me?

Kelly: I took care of that too. We've been married for the last three years.

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-Part and Parcel-

Mrs. O’Flaherty: Oh stop whining.

Nick: I got hit by a car!!

Mrs. O’Flaherty: [mocking] ‘I got hit by a car!’

Mrs. O’Flaherty: Get over it!

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Julian: Why do I kill?

Blake: Preston asks himself that every day.

Preston: No, I know why.

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-Divide and Conquer-

Zane: Let's go over what we know about all of these terrorist incidents.

Ty: Are we calling them "incidents" now? I was thinking more along the lines of "that wacky time yesterday when we almost died."

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Ty: Ah, Garrett, I hope you don't mind. I played for you while you were gone. Don't worry, I only lost twice!

Zane: I was downstairs for two minutes. We're playing Monopoly.

Ty: I may have made a few risky investments.

Nick: He tried to build, and I quote, "A tower worthy of my sorcery," out of 20 stacked hotels. On Jail.

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Kelly: You look weird.

Nick: So do you. ...That's a lie. You always look beautiful.

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Ty: What you are is a fucking tragedy, Zane Garrett. You literally couldn't be a bigger mess.

Zane: And you like that?

Ty: I love it.

Zane: Why?

Ty: Because we match.

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Zane: I’m not rich. My family is rich.

Ty: Which is the kind of thing that only a rich person would say.

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-At some point after Stars & Stripes…-

Ty: Technically, I have never lost a fight with a tiger.

Zane: You’ve also technically never lost a fight with me, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t gut you for this stupid comment.

(source: tumblr)

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McCoy: Agents, the United States government is not in the business of interfering in other people’s affairs.

Ty and Zane: ...........

Ty and Zane: ...........

Ty: Since when, sir?

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A Lunchable is a charcuterie if you’re not a fucking classist.

Ty Grady, Stars and Stripes