emil trueheart didn't die for this

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i desire that crossover chaos becomes real 🙏

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i wish crossover chaos was real

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Sam: *unbuttoning shirt* Sorry, it's so hot in here.

Dick Tracy: I know, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

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Sam: Are you gay?

Dick Tracy: I'm not gay!

Sam: ...Dick, you just kissed me.

Dick Tracy: ...I might be bi?

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Dick Tracy: Sam, blink if you love me.

Sam Catchem: [blows air on Dick Tracy's face]

Dick Tracy: [blinks]

Sam Catchem: Yes.

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Look, someone needed to be the family disappointment and the gay cousin, and I’m really good at multi-tasking. Just playing up my strengths.

Sam Catchem

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is it possible we're back from hiatus? ;P

Sam: Dick, don't pull too hard on the tie, you're gonna choke yourself.

Dick Tracy: It's fine, Sam.

Pat Patton, poking his head in: Yeah, he loves being choked.

Sam:

Dick Tracy:

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Dick Tracy: I'm looking for my son, Junior.

Someone: Junior... Uh... 6'1, red hair, cries when you call him bitchbaby?

Dick Tracy: That's him.

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Dick Tracy: You really do have to get over this thing with your mum - you're not Hamlet. Stop being Hamlet.

Johnny Adonis: Well, all right, I'll stop being Hamlet when you stop being...

Dick Tracy, thinking: He can't think of a Shakespearean character!

Johnny Adonis: ... a massive twat.

Dick Tracy, thinking: Ha! He couldn't even think of Romeo! Romeo's easy!

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Sam Catchem: Okay, so I just had a really great idea.

Everyone in the MCU office: No.

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Doctor: Oh, Dick... it's not scary; you just lose your sense of who you are and all that shit.

Dick Tracy, high off his ass: Will I still be able to play the piano?

Doctor: Of course! Dick, they're mushrooms; they're completely natural! Nothing natural ever hurt anybody, that's a scientific fact.

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I've really done it this time. This isn't a late report or a botched arrest. This is going feral. Rejecting society and living like an animal. That's not going to look good on my quarterly review...

Sam Catchem

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I’m well aware that I’ve accidentally set myself on fire, and it’s none of your business. I don’t need your pity water, either. Let me burn in peace.

Rikki Mortis

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Sam Catchem: Sorry! I hit the wrong thing!

Dick Tracy: No! Thirty three years ago, your mother gave birth to the wrong thing!

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Junior: I'm gonna sing a song!

Dick Tracy: Whenever you're ready.

Junior: *clears throat, screams*

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Dick Tracy: *walks into the kitchen* Is something burning?

Sam Catchem: *leaning seductively against the counter* Just my desire for you.

Dick Tracy: Sam, the toaster is on fire.

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I wonder who the real hero is, you or me?

Sam Catchem, to Dick Tracy