Todd: We've got to go to the cops.
Farah: We can't go to the cops!
Dirk: Why?
Farah: The Priest has a ton of moles.
Dirk: On his face?!
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@incorrectdirkgently
Todd: We've got to go to the cops.
Farah: We can't go to the cops!
Dirk: Why?
Farah: The Priest has a ton of moles.
Dirk: On his face?!
Todd is the Anti-Dirk.
Amanda, maybe.
Lieutenant Assistent: Someone close to you said "One more flop and it's over."
[beat]
Friedkin: Somebody said they were close to me?
Dirk: That's one of my biggest fears.
Todd: What is?
Dirk: If I ever woke up as a donut -
Todd: You would eat yourself.
Dirk: I wouldn't even question it.
Tina: As far as plans go, this is not a good one.
Hobbs: Tina, this was your plan!
Tina: I didn't think you'd actually say yes!
Dirk: I don't always make good decisions under pressure.
[flashback]
Todd: What the hell is that?
Dirk: It's an alpaca. I got the last one!
Dirk: What's the most complex thing you do in the kitchen?
Todd: Worry about death.
Todd: Hey, how much money do you have?
Dirk: Uh, 69 cents.
Todd: You know what that means -
Dirk: [tearing up] I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.
Todd: Wait, be quiet.
Dirk: Did you hear something?
Todd: No, I just want you to be quiet.
Farah: Dirk, I never doubted you for a moment!
Dirk: Thank you, Farah. You're lying, though, right?
Farah: Yes. I doubted you very strongly.
Farah: All I've done all day is eat, sleep, and stare off into space. What an awful existence.
Todd: Hey! I don't dump on your lifestyle.
Of course I've gone mad with power. You ever try going mad without power? It's boring. No one listens to you!
Suzie, most likely.
Dirk: I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired.... so I'm going to take a nap. But when I wake up, oh you are in for it.
[Four hours later]
Dirk: How dare you?
Todd: Out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
Farah: If you've got any questions, just ask.
Tina: If a bear and a shark got into a fight, who would win?
Farah: If you've got any relevant questions, just ask.
Todd: I'm going to bed.
Dirk: It's noon.
Todd: Time isn't real.
Ken: Bart saved my life. Twice.
Bart: Once. And a half.
Dirk: How do you half save someone's life?
Bart: I was the one that was sent to kill him, so I figure that only counts as half, right?
Dirk: That actually makes sense.