most of this is canon.

[incorrectdyn]

aquarius: aquarius loves…

*looks at a pile of books*

aquarius: READING!!

aquarius: aquarius loves…

*looks at virgo and libra*

aquarius: FRIENDS!!

aquarius: aquarius loves…

*looks at aries*

aquarius: revolution.

[incorrectdyn]

scorpio: i wanna be taken out.

cancer: on a date or with a sniper?

scorpio: surprise me

[incorrectdyn]

sagittarius: i came to check on taurus. is he alright?

aquarius: i don’t know, do they normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?

[incorrectdyn]

leo: you broke into a pet store?

libra: i thought the puppies might be lonely.

[incorrectdyn]

aries: damn. i fucked up again.

virgo, narrating: he said, with surprise in his voice, for some reason.

[incorrectdyn]

scorpio: i can't believe that a half-decent idea came out of your dumb mouth.

leo: thank you.

[incorrectdyn]

cancer: whoa, you're being a little...

aquarius: obstreperous? recalcitrant? truculent?

cancer: i was gonna say "cray-cray."

[incorrectdyn]

*everyone's are having dinner together*

pisces: this steak is a little tough.

aries: so is life, yet you don't hear us complain about it.

[incorrectdyn]

taurus: that does it, i’m going to get you a dictionary for christmas this year.

aries: why?

taurus: so you can look up ‘fun.’ i’m not sure you know what it means.

[incorrectdyn]

aquarius: it’s spelled T-H-E-I-F

leo: T-H-I-E-F

aquarius: T-H-E-I-F!

aquarius: “i before e, except after c”.

leo: T-H-C-E-I-F

aquarius: no.

[incorrectdyn]

aries: you’re a smartass, you know that?

sagittarius: objectively, i’d say that i’m very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

[incorrectdyn]

libra: i have plenty of friends.

leo: why don't you ever have them over to the house?

libra: i don't ever have them over to the house because of what you did the last time.

leo: and what was that? i don't remember doing anything bad.

libra: oh! last time my friends were over we were all sitting here watching a movie, you came downstairs half nude, covered head to toe in salsa and screamed "who wants huevos rancheros now, bitches" THAT'S WHY

[incorrectdyn]

sagittarius: you owe me like a dollar

virgo: you'll have to kill me for it

[incorrectdyn]

leo: help, i'm trapped under the tree and the star's tangled in my hair.

scorpio: ... why were you under the tree?

leo: because i'm a gift to this world? duh!

[incorrectdyn]

taurus: i usually see the glass as half empty, sagittarius sees the glass as half full; that’s why we’re a good team. capricorn, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle. aquarius wonders why it has to be glass, and scorpio usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.

[incorrectdyn]

virgo: i like my boys like i like my girls.

virgo:

virgo: that’s it.

virgo: that’s the joke.

virgo: i’m bisexual.

[incorrectdyn]

aries: i’ll do whatever i want when i’m 80.

capricorn: if you’re still alive when you’re 80 i’ll demand a medical explanation.