Incorrect Fitzsimmons Quotes

For all your incorrect Fitzsimmons quote needs.Taking submissions. Header and icon by @cardb0rdeaux Sidebar image by @lovelornrocketscientist

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You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character.

Leo Fitz

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Fitz: [covering walls in equations and talking to himself after being confronted with any new world-ending crisis] It’s just you and me now, Jemma.

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Fitz: Why are you so kinky?

Hunter: I’m traumatized.

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Jemma: Are you doing okay? Are you scared?

Fitz: I’m scared you won’t let me make a flamethrower and use it to throw flame.

Jemma: You’re right, I will not let you do that.

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Fitz: Oh, god. Let me have just one good day.

God: You again? Give it a rest, buddy!

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Jemma [disinfecting a cut on Fitz's cheek]: You shouldn't insult people that are bigger than you.

Fitz: Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone.

[makokind]

the difference between phillinda and fitzsimmons in a nutshell:

coulson, watching may kick someone’s arse: YEAH!!!! thats my WIFE!!!!!!!!!

fitz, watching simmons fight a Bad Guy™️: oh my God jemma please be careful jemma. jEMMA oh my God please. darling. i love u and ur beautiful and doing a great job but how lethal, exactly, is that gun?

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Fitz, gesturing to Jemma: This is it. Creation's greatest achievement. The most beautiful, wonderful person to ever exist. No one can top this.

Jemma: ...But you did, yesterday.

Fitz:

Jemma: 😉

Fitz:

Fitz: You're not wrong.

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Coulson: Good responses to getting stabbed with a sword. Go!

Jemma: Rude.

Fitz: That’s fair.

Skye: Not again.

Ward: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?

[fandomincorrectquotes]

Fitz: We don’t need powers, I have a lighter, okay?

Fitz: We get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers…

Fitz: Let’s fry these bitches

May: No one’s frying any bitches

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Fitz: Jemma gave me a "get better soon" card.

Mack: Aw, that's sweet.

Fitz: I wasn't sick, she just thought I could do better.

Mack: Now you mention it...

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[Season one]

Fitz: You've been paying Skye a lot of attention lately.

Jemma: She was injured.

Fitz: I was injured, too...

Jemma: Then go to the doctor!

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Jemma: Come on! Let’s all play a game!

Fitz: No, we’re not.

Jemma: Why not?

Fitz: Because you know how competitive you get. While I think it’s cute, the others don’t, and I’m lying.

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Daisy: Jemma, what the hell are you doing?

Jemma: [drunk and stroking Fitz's hair while his eyes roll back like a cat being petted]

Jemma: What the fuck? This is so soft and springy.

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Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the dumbest person alive.

Fitz [to Deke] (via incorrectagentsofshieldquotes)

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Deke: *walking around the lab messing with stuff and grabbing random weapons which he shoves in his pockets*

Jemma: Leave it like you found it!

Jemma: And by that I mean just leave it.

[submitted by @shadowhunteragentofshield]

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Jemma: *sneaking out to try to kill Ward*

Skye: *holding out a gun* I'm coming with you.

Jemma: What? We don't need guns at...the waffle house.

[submitted by @shadowhunterofshield]