your favorite musicals and completely wrong quotes

she/her. Theatre nerd. Favorites include SIX, A Tale of Two Cities, Newsies, Waitress, Mamma Mia, Wicked, and more. main account is @nerdy-sunflower if you wanna check that out

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

A Tale of Two Cities characters as quotes from Salem Saberhagen from Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Lucie: someone's gonna end up crying. Probably me.

Dr. Manette: I've got bad news, that insane voice in your head is you

Charles: well needless to say, uh oh spaghetti-os

Sydney: there's a chance, however slim, that my detached sarcastic nature could be misconstrued as jerkiness.

Ms. Pross: if you misbehave for just one instant, I'll cut you man

Jarvis Lorry: what is wrong with this generation?

Jerry: you know what would make this go faster? Hands and a work ethic

Monsieur Defarge: guess I wasn't meant to be a mob boss

Madame Defarge: lets destroy everything that's dear to him (BONUS: personally I find knitting relaxing)

Barsad: sometimes I just like to hear myself talk

Marquis Evremonde: I urge you to accept me as your ruler

Little Lucie: I am so soft and fuzzy

Gaspard: and let's give a big warm welcome to sadness

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Ted: Bill that's so lame, you can't be a rom com fan... Wait are you a rom com fan?

Bill: are you?

Paul: I think Ted is more of a Japanese animated erotica fan

Bill: really?

Ted: PAUL why would you tell him that??

Paul: dud be proud of your hobbies. Makes you who you are.

[sheherlockholmes]

people will claim to be filled with whimsy and joy for life but then hate musicals……. the vile tongue of man will never cease lying

[sheherlockholmes]

[kityy-katz]

The hive mind @ paul the entire show

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Charlotte: Paul, weren't you actually born in clivesdale?

Paul: do not blame me for the sins of my mother

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

*in a work meeting*

Paul: hey none of this marker is coming off. Bill, did you use permanent marker on the white board again?

Ted: let's all just pretend Bill was never born

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Ted: so where are you from? Heaven?

Emma: yeah, I'm a ghost. I died 15 years ago like that pickup line

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Bill: at my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?

Ted: at the hands of your coworker?

Bill: no, an accident

Ted: that's how I'm gonna make it look

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Bill: Paul, you have a blog?

Paul: it's mostly devoted to correcting grammatical errors. There are also some delightful puns

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

*Peter tutoring Steph*

Peter: dude you're screwed

Steph: I am not

Peter: you don't know what Mesopotamia is

Steph: of course I know what a Mesopotamia is

Peter: use it in a sentence

Steph: look, there's Mesopotamia

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

"if she was a spice, she'd be flour"

-everyone about Grace Chastity

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Grace: boys have tinkle dinkers

Max: they WHAT

Peter: who is this girl and why does she sound like a gremlin?

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

"I don't have rizz, I have doll eyes and many unsettling things to say"

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Steph: guys we need help. We can't just let Max keep killing people.

Grace: No way, if my parents find out what happened I am so grounded.

Steph: Okay. If we don't get help, we're gonna become PART OF THE GROUND

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Sydney: I want chicken wings

Charles: how many drinks have you had tonight?

Sydney: 9 plus 3. Minus 1.

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Dr Manette: Surely there must be a peaceful way to resolve what's happening in France now

Madame Defarge: Oh well maybe you could show Marquise Evremond his baby pictures and the happy memories will make him good again!

Dr. Manette: do you really think that will work?!

Madame Defarge: NO

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Race: pfft can your "science" explain why it rains?

Davey: YES. YES IT CAN.

[incorrectmusicalquotes]

Lucie: I can't believe they just arrested Charles. How could we have known they would do such a thing?

Miss Pross: I don't know dear. Why don't you ask Charles's instincts. They seem to know everything.

Charles: *in a cell* ha ha very funny

Sydney: I'm getting tired of bringing you all here to visit him

Miss Pross: You know who you should ask to bring us next time? Charle's instincts!

Sydney: oh great idea. Hey, Charles's instincts would you-

Charles: OKAY! okay! I get it! Will you get me out of here now?