Incorrect Ragnarok

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: Hello, people in the Internet. Welcome to my musings: Thor Talkin’. Yes, you read right. I spell ‘talking’ with no 'g’. That is to show I have attitude.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Bruce: I'm a little concerned about safety, here.

Thor: Were the astronauts concerned about safety when they flew to the moon?

Bruce: Presumably, yes.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

*Thor and Loki are walking together as children*

Thor: I don’t think that Father likes you very much.

Loki: Nobody does. That’s the way I like it.

Thor: I like you.

Loki: Well, quit it.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: I don't care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?

Loki: Alive.

Thor: Not in jail?

Loki: *read 3:46 am*

Thor: Loki!

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Bruce: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Valkyrie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Thor: I got distracted about halfway through.

Loki: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: Hey, Loki.

Loki, as Odin: What? Wait, shit.

Thor: Yep, I knew it! It's him!

Loki: No! It just sounded like you said "hey, Odin."

Some Asgardian citizen: Hey, Loki.

Loki: What?

Loki: GOD DAMN IT--

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: It’s kind of hot out for a leather robe...

Loki: I look rad.

Valkyrie: You look pallid and sick.

Loki: Sick as fuck.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: Maybe you’re right.

Valkyrie: Okay, now, are you saying that because you agree with me, or because you’re afraid of me?

Thor: I’m saying that because I’m afraid of you.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

The Grandmaster: *offended* What kind of monster do you think I am?

Loki: Shapeshifter.

Valkyrie: Swamp demon.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Valkyrie: Everyone wants you to shut up.

Loki: And yet, I won’t. Case in point.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Valkyrie: Bruce, what are you listening to?

Bruce: A relaxation tape. The rain is supposed to relax me.

Valkyrie: Is it working?

Bruce: Not really. I keep worrying that I left my car windows down.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Thor: Loki, I have a feeling you’re lying.

Loki: Thor, be positive.

Thor: Okay, I’m positive you’re lying.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Every family has secrets. My family just has bigger ones." -Thor

The Secret Saturdays

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Grandmaster: I can absolutely keep a hummingbird as a pet, bro. It's no different than having a parrot or a parakeet. It's a bird, bro.

Topaz: You really can't, and I'm not saying I agree with that. It's just that bird law in this country--it's not governed by reason.

Grandmaster: There's no such thing as "bird law".

Topaz: Yes, there is.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Loki: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry--

Thor: It’s not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And it’s not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

The Hulk: I’m good.

The Hulk: I haven’t slept in a solid 83 hours, but yeah I’m good.

[incorrectragnarokquotes]

Loki: There is a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think I walk that line every day of my life.