because someone has to keep the fandom alive.

hello! this is an "incorrect quotes" blog for the show "Storm Chasers" by Discovery. submissions and asks are heavily appreciated and accepted!

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Carl: I gave up my old life choices when I let Jesus take the wheel.

Tim: That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Reed: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Tim: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Reed: Yeah, they're all birds.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Joel: You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you?

Reed, handing him a thermos: Milk and sugar.

Joel: Thanks.

Joel: [drinks]

Joel: ...Wait, is this just milk and sugar?

Reed: That's what I said.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Brandon: We don't download films illegally. Because we're honest and hard-working people.

Matt: And we don't know how.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Joel, at the hospital: I'm Reed Timmer's emergency contact.

Chris: So you're here to pick him up?

Joel: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Joel: Damn, the power went out.

Reed: Don’t worry babe, I got this.

*Reed begins to shake rapidly and illuminates*

Joel: WH-

Reed: I swallowed a flashlight!

Joel: WHY WOULD YOU-

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Josh: Well, you see, the answer is perfectly simple and scientific.

Josh: It was because shut up.

Josh: Shut up is why.

[jasperdoodles]

Tim: Do you three ever get tired of tearing other people down?

Reed: No.

Sean: Not really.

Josh: Nope.

[jasperdoodles]

Reed: Okay, I can be a little petty.

Joel: You once edited a Wikipedia page just to win an argument with me.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Reed: I mean I get complimented all the time—

Joel: YAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Reed: I do!

Joel: *still laughing*

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Josh: Give me one reason why I shouldn’t punch your face in.

Carl: it would be way too rewarding.

Paul: The scheduled walloping time isn’t for another half hour.

Sean: My mom specifically instructed me to have a good day.

Reed: Wounding me emotionally would pay much higher dividends.

Joel: I’d rather just do it myself.

Matt: I’ll open my mouth and swallow your whole arm.

Marcus: My face is full of boiling hot water that will shoot out everywhere if you punch me.

Tim: When you move in to punch me, I’m going to hold a bucket up in front of my face and then your fist will just punch the inside of an empty bucket and you’ll look ridiculous.

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Chris: Someone on the street we passed just hit an operatic high C, and then screamed, “I’ll fucking kick your ass.”

Joel: That was Reed.

[jasperdoodles]

Joel: That all Reed really does, ever since he bought that 5 dollar kazoo.

Reed: *Continues to kazoo*

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Sean: There's only one thing worse than Reed Timmer..

Sean: *rips of paper* Boom.

Josh: *looks at camera* Twistex.

Sean: No-

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Reed, looking at a sandwich: The leaves are starting to brown at the edges, look.

Tim: Yes, it was sliced with a knife. The lettuce reacts with the metal of the blade, you see. It stays fresher for longer if you rip it up by hand.

Reed: Well, I never! You enjoy cooking, do you, Tim?

Tim: Me? No, no. Home cooking is far too inefficient. 

Reed: Inefficient?

Tim: Absolutely. Individuals catering for themselves is a waste of time and energy. Pizza delivery is the answer.

Reed: Right…

[incorrectstormchasersquotes]

Matt: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious. That’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Sean: That’s ridiculous. Name one example.

Matt: Wasps.

Byron: Spiders.

Marcus: Chihuahuas.

Brandon: Josh.

[jasperdoodles]

Twistex in "Twister Twilight Zone"

Carl, in front of a whiteboard: Bobody! Bobody. Now, who can tell me what does the first B stand for?

Paul: ?

Matt: What are we doing?

Carl: We’re making acronyms! Ok, what does the first B stand for?

Tony: Uhh, business!

Carl: I like it! (Writes Biznus on the board) Good, Tony!

Paul: …

Matt: We need Tim back.