[pastel-ennui]

Jade: a whiskey for me, and uh... she'll have a Capri Sun

Cat: Jade I'm 21 years old, I can buy my own Capri Sun

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Tori: Cat, add 'zucchini' to that shopping list.

Cat: *writing* Z-U-K-

Tori: Nope.

Cat: Z-O-O-K-

Tori: No...

Cat: Let's get corn instead.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Beck: My girlfriend has a...challenging personality.

Tori: She's mostly a git. But every once in a while, she can be a jerk.

Jade: I'm standing right here.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade: Shhh, here comes the principal!

Andre: Quick, Robbie, start talking about boring nerd stuff!

Robbie: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.

Andre: Yes, that's perfect. Just like that.

[vicstorious-deactivated20200501]

incorrect victorious quotes

tori: i wish you could block people in real life

andre: restraining order

jade: murder

[vicstorious-deactivated20200501]

incorrect victorious quotes

andre: you fainted. do you remember anything?

tori: only the ambulance ride to the hospital

andre: that wasn’t an ambulance, i drove you

tori: but i heard a siren

andre: that was cat

cat: sorry i got nervous

[vicstorious-deactivated20200501]

incorrect victorious quotes

jade: look, have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?

tori: all the time!

jade:

jade: well you should’ve gotten used to it by now

[vicstorious-deactivated20200501]

incorrect victorious quotes

jade: i know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry

tori: it’s not a rivalry, you’re just sometimes mean to me, and it’s not unspoken, you talk about it all the time

[vicstorious-deactivated20200501]

incorrect victorious quotes

jade: is there a word between mad and sad?

tori: malcontent, disgruntled, miserable, desolated–

cat: smad

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade: I want to know what's wrong with Beck.

Tori: What makes you think there's anything wrong?

Jade: Well I've asked him to go to the Kick Back like 100 times, and every time he changes his mind.

Tori: Maybe he doesn't like you. Did you think about that?

Jade: Yes. Actually it did cross my mind. But then I thought, oh, no, no, he hangs around with you, his standards must be pretty low.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade Gets Crushed

Andre: Tori, what do you think of Jade?

Tori: You know those stonefish that kind of look like a rock? They could shoot enough poison to kill an entire football team in half a second? She kinda reminds me of one of those.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Sikowitz: What in the name of Shakespeare's ass is going on here?

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade: Can't we just order in? I don't wanna go outside.

Beck: Today's special is squid ink fettuccine.

Jade: Well that is the most melancholy pasta.

Beck: That's my girl.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Tori: So… what’s it like dating Jade?

Beck: Once, I asked her for a glass of water and she brought me a glass full of ice and said “wait.”

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade: Someone will die.

Cat: Of fun!

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Jade: She thinks everything is funny. Watch.

[turns to Cat]

Jade: Pudding.

Cat: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.

[incorrectvictoriousquotes]

Tori Goes Platinum

Jade: Cat, have you noticed anything strange about Tori?

Cat: No, not really.

Jade: Have you noticed it gets darker at night, then lighter when the sun comes up?

Cat: That’s because of Tori?!

Jade: Never mind.