Incorrect X-Men Quotes

[punkerduckiememes]

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Logan, after running off into the Canadian wilderness again: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘me time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

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messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the X-Men will still be like "waaa its a cosmic entity waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the sea and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.

Phoenix

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Quicksilver: We came to kick ass, catch bad guys, and eat pie.

Nightcrawler: Not necessarily in that order.

Quicksilver: And it hasn't been.

Nightcrawler: No.

Quicksilver: We started with the pie.

Nightcrawler: Always.

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hate how most of my problems are abstract or systemic I wanna fight more of them with a sword

Magik

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Magneto: At my age do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?

Professor X: At the hands of your best friend.

Magneto: An accident.

Professor X: That's how I'm going to make it look.

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Jean Grey: How much do you think Tasks funeral is going to cost the government? Scott Summers: 3 million? Logan: For 3 million, they could give every mutant a shovel and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand him over to Satan personally.

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Kitty Pryde: I asked Logan because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences!

Scott Summers: Logan IS a lecture about consequences!

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Magneto: I want you to listen to me, Pietro. And believe this, because I mean it from the bottom of my heart. All romance ends in despair. Magneto: Or death, but mostly despair. Gut-wrenching despair. Magneto: And I'm- I hate to say this, but I'm actually happy that this happened because now you know. And it's just going to make you a better X-Man to realize that all people are essentially just out there to destroy any chance of happiness you will ever have. Pietro: ...

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Beast: I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.

Havok: Please tell me those aren't the names of your fists.

Beast: My feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.

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[Daken & Laura are fighting each other] Logan: Kids. Kids. Kids. There must be something you two violent brats can agree on. [Daken & Laura work together to pick Logan up and throw him down that stairs] Laura Kinney: Wow. I've always wanted to do that, but never had the arm strength. Daken: If we work together, we could hurt people much more than we can by ourselves!

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Wolverine: I play 'This Meeting Could Have Been An Email' in attack position. Scott Summers: This activates my trap card 'If You Read Your Email Then We Wouldn't Be In A Meeting'.

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Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Are you drunk? Deadpool: Of course I'm drunk; I'm at work. Aren't you drunk? Negasonic Teenage Warhead: I'm 16. Deadpool: 16 beers in? Well shoot, I gotta catch up.

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Toad: So, I've organized Erik's messages into three distinct categories.

Toad: Category One: "From co-workers"

Toad: Category Two: "Death Threats"

Toad: Category Three: "Death Threats from co-workers."

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[Sooraya comes down the X-Mansion chimney in her dust form] Sooraya: I come bearing news. Noriko: Why can't you use a fucking door like anyone else. Sooraya: What's the point of being able to turn into dust if you're just going to go around using doors?

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Mystique: I was very happy until [points at Kurt] little doo-doo was born. Kurt Wagner: Mystique: That's you-you. Kurt Wagner: No, I got that, you were pointing at me.

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I'm banned, just 'cause I used the tug-of-war rope improperly for an attempted strangulation.

Daken, on Xavier Academy sport's day