why does everyone associate intjs with dark academia

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@infjingontheroad
why does everyone associate intjs with dark academia
I believe the mbti community is severely downplaying how impossibly *cute* an xntj can be when they choose you. it's genuinely the most adorable thing. y'all can be so baby and I need more people to think about this
Facts.
1-How to let the go of the past mistakes? Specially if they're not reversible? I'm an INTP. I was always a good student...until the last two years of high school. For various reasons, I got depressed, anxious and lost my concentration and study motivation. As a result, I couldn't do well in the test and didn't get into med school. I didn't try more and chose to study something else. It's not bad and it's still science related, and I even continued my education, but it's not med.
[con’t: I deeply regret it. Everytime I hear from my family that someone I used to know got into med school, I feel jealous and regretful. I hate myself for not doing my best and for distracting myself at the wrong time. I can't forgive myself for giving up easily. I was reading somewhere that in order to get rid of the heaviness of our old wounds and regrets, we must take a lesson from our past mistakes. It's just that I'm in my late 20s and it's late for me to persue that. But how do I know what lesson I have to learn for now? How do I take a practical step to have a good life despite not being a medical doctor? How to get some self-worth back when I can't go back and fix the things? If there was a time machine, I would assume my goal is to go back in time, study and know the consequence of not trying hard enough for what I want. But that's not possible. How to take my lesson and get back to normal healthy life?]
People use the word “regret” very loosely to describe various psychological states. What is labeled as “regret” is often something else in disguise, though they may overlap in some cases, e.g.:
Sometimes, regret is actually guilt. Guilt means that you did not live up to your moral standards or values. Guilt is a form of self-punishment, as you make yourself pay for your past mistakes with your own happiness. It is up to you to calculate just how much punishment is required for finally forgiving yourself, and whether it is commensurate to the mistake that was made. If you’ve paid your dues, then you get to move on.
Sometimes, regret is actually remorse. Remorse means becoming fully aware of having caused harm/hurt (to others and/or yourself) and wanting to redress it. Remorse prompts you to seek redemption through learning from the mistake and becoming a better person, specifically, to change the negative aspects of yourself that led to the harmful behavior. A successful change brings you solace in knowing that you’re no longer the same person as before and now living a more meaningful life. This allows you to put the past into the right perspective, since it was essential to your personal growth.
Sometimes, regret is actually grief or lamentation. Grief means that you are mourning a loss, unable to let go of what was lost, often because you have (mistakenly) defined it as an integral part of your life or identity. Grief is resolved through closure: accepting the fact of the loss, closing the door on the past, orienting yourself to future goals, and redefining your life or identity in new and different terms.
Sometimes, regret is actually longing or yearning. Longing is born of an authentic desire located deep in your heart and soul. To feel longing as regret means that you are holding yourself back from obtaining what you need/desire, even though you are certain that it would lead you to greater fulfillment in life. People are usually held back by fear of failure, irrational pessimism, or faulty beliefs. This self-sabotage creates a nagging feeling of being haunted from within, as your authentic self refuses to be silenced despite your efforts at self-deception.
Dig deeper, through self-reflection, to figure out the truth of what’s really going on. Only you have access to the truth of yourself. Knowing the deeper truth of your “regret” should inform you about the right solution to it.
"begin with the end in mind"
inxj: ...like, how else would you do it?
As an Ni-dom yourself, have you ever look at your leg and be like "wow that is my leg, it doesn't feel like my leg though" and then you try to move it "yup I could move it, that is my leg" I don't know it's just weird
The other day I was chatting with my very self-aware ESFP friend about Ni and comparing how we experience it. She mentioned that every now and then she feels that her body is not hers or not real, and this sudden intuition will fill her with panic and she’ll pinch herself hard to make sure she is “real”. And I jokingly responded, “Imagine if you felt like that most of the time,” and she shuddered. I feel more in touch with my body as I get older, so I rarely feel “disembodied” in that way nowadays but it still happens occasionally. Get more in touch with your Se, lol.
but what about "adapting" to stranger's likes/dislikes or the way they talk to mirror them and make them feel at ease? isn't that fe?
No. Making people feel at ease, within reason anyway, is just not being an asshole.
Mirroring is normal human behavior, again to an extent. There are biological/neurological reasons (among them, mirror neurons) why when one person yawns, the rest of us yawn. People are social animals, and almost all people do some level of mirroring.
The core difference between Fi and Fe is as always a focus on the individual vs. group experience and approach to morality; the simplest way I explain it is the platinum rule (treat others how they wish to be treated) vs. the golden rule (treat others how you wish to be treated). The part where it goes beyond normal human empathy and accomodation and into Fe specifically is for example saying you like something that you don’t to keep the peace.
Here’s a comic by Randall Munroe of XKCD, who’s a high Ti user, which I think displays something Fe users are far, far more likely to do than Fi users:
This isn’t how an Fi user would generally respond. A healthy Fi user wouldn’t try to argue and change that person’s mind, and they’d accomodate that person (they wouldn’t suggest watching it again together when it comes out on Netflix, or drag that person to see the sequel), but they’re not going to pretend they didn’t like it either.
Fe is less able to handle lack of consensus. I’ve talked a lot before about why people on the Te-Fi axis will often shut down arguments if there doesn’t seem to be a point, and it’s because they don’t mind disagreement if it’s not for something vitally important. As a Te user, I don’t care if someone disagrees with me on a project, for example, as long as they go along with what the ultimate plan is. I don’t care if a decision is unanimous, I just care that it gets made after some consideration of any concerns or alternatives. The only point where I do care about consensus is for like, fundamental human rights or things that are actual facts and not a matter of opinion.
Honestly, if someone always agrees with me on every little thing I am fundamentally less at ease with them. Like, if the above comic literally happened I’d be weirded out - have your own opinions! We don’t both have to like it! And this is absolutely compounded with strangers. I would still mirror a stranger with whom I’m interacting, because that’s human, and I wouldn’t say “your opinions are stupid and wrong” but I would express polite disagreement with their opinions if I had it. Mirroring someone’s opinions isn’t, at least from the Fi perspective, putting people at ease; it’s being fake.
I would add that as a rule you can’t very easily type people by how they behave in D&D; it’s a game and it’s one data point. It’s something to take into consideration, and I wouldn’t say the person who asked that question couldn’t be an Fe user, just that this isn’t positive evidence for it.
I agree. I'm soo Fi-Te, but lately with all that's happening with Black People in USA I'm starting to think I may be not that healthy Fi user because literally my state of mind is: you are full with us or totally against us. I don't see greys and I'm not gonna reach any consensus with anybody who thinks different than me in this matter. It's human rights what we are talking about.
I think that’s perfectly healthy! When it comes to literal life or death, someone who claims to be empathetic because they want to give both sides equal consideration is not actually empathetic to the side that’s like, literally dying. One of the few times I’ve blocked someone not because they were just super annoying was someone who kept lecturing me, a Jewish woman, about being patient with literal Nazis; that’s actively lacking in empathy towards me, just as trying to defend the actions of the police when this is a repeated, systemic pattern is incredibly lacking in empathy towards the Black community. I don’t think it’s always expressed in the most healthy way, but I think lacking in those life-or-death human rights convictions is far more concerning than having them as clear sticking points (and I don’t think it’s unique to any type; I think being unyielding on fundamental human rights is just a healthy way to be).
I think the unhealthy manifestation for Fi-Te in this area is when people like, try to ban books like Huckleberry Finn or get super self-righteous about petty things on social media (especially if they are not in the group that’s oppressed), rather than amplifying the voices of the oppressed group in question or donating or offering other support. Like when they get more caught up in the aesthetics of their action than the tangible results, or berating people for not being 100% “perfect” in their support even when they are clearly on the same side.
whats your opinion of the INTJ personality type?
I think real ones are rarer than you think and are aware of what sucks about being one. I think a lot of ITPs are mistyped as INTJs. I think real INTJs are unlikely to stand out much in a crowd and all you will see is Te except in a setting where discussing something more abstract / making future predictions is welcoming to the conversation. I find them specific, non-detailed (especially as writers, INJs seem to be ‘sparse’ in terms of description), and often moralistic (tert-Fi has a fierce work ethic and an intolerance for laziness in others, just like Te-dom, but more self-awareness).
- ENFP Mod
Ni be like: I need the full picture so I can look at it from different perspectives
Ti be like: I need to look at different perspectives to create a full picture
the endless cycle
a few days ago I stumbled upon a description of Ti where it said that Ti strives for self sufficient problem solving, hence its habit of information hoarding, and I can't stop thinking about it. it's so on point
Moody teenager, I think moody adult too
Sorry infj’s but MINE is the rarest type 😌💋😍✨💅🏻👌🏻😏😘
so many other INXJs have backup plans for their backup plans while I only ever have plan A and I think that's very sexy of me. and also very stupid
Extraverted Thinking (Te) vs Introverted Thinking (Ti)
Combined with the following asks:
Can you write about Te from an ENTJ’s perspective? I find most online descriptions of Te are poorly written by non Te users and insufficient/patronizing. I would love to hear the Te-dom point of view. Thank you, Mr. ENTJ
Can you compare Te and Ti? I looked but didn’t see anywhere on the blog yet. Thank yyou for your time :)
Difference between Te and Ti?
How is Te any different from Ti? As a Ti-user I feel that I use Te as well in the way use my logic to make decisions
Related answers:
ENTJ: Auxiliary Introverted Intuition (Ni)
It’s objective vs subjective logic. For comparison:
Te (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ISTJ) emphasizes truth. Truth is defined as that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.
Ti (INTP, ISTP, ENTP, ESTP) emphasizes logic. Logic is defined as reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity.
The reason why we call Te objective and Ti subjective is because Te is untouched by the individual– we use information provided to us as-is via the real world in forms like: facts, data sets, observations, research studies, news, rankings, academic journals, polls, subject matter experts, etc. Te logic is drawn from external sources to understand (”organize”) the outside world. “Organized” doesn’t mean that Te users are neat and tidy people– it means our minds sort information by relevance and impact. We first make sense of what is (current state), and from there, use that information to transform the world into what it can be (future state).
Te vs Ti
The main reason why these two cognitive functions (and their associated MBTI types) always clash is pretty simple: what exists in the real world (Te) is not always logical (Ti) and what’s logical in pure reasoning (Ti) does not always work in the real world (Te).
Let’s say you were to ask this question: “How does one become a management consultant at the best consulting firm in the world, McKinsey and Co.?”
Ti method (logical but false): “To successfully be accepted into the best consulting firm in the world, McKinsey and Co., I should first and foremost major in a relevant subject like business or economics, have exceptional grades in my classes, and develop strong skills in public speaking, problem solving, presentation, and preparation because that’s what management consultants need to succeed. If I do well in those areas, I should be a competitive candidate.”
Te method (illogical but true): “To successfully be accepted into the best consulting firm in the world, McKinsey and Co., I should first and foremost research which target schools they recruit from. The major I select and classes that I take have less relevance than the university I attend because without being in the right place, McKinsey won’t even consider me as a candidate. Next, I should excel in academics and network with alums and McKinsey professionals. If I do well in those areas, I should be a competitive candidate.”
The Ti method states a logical but false statement. It’s logical because to be a good management consultant, you certainly need to have all those skills (problem solving, quantitative analysis, presentation skills, etc.). The reason why it’s false is because it omits empirical evidence. The most important determinant in getting into McKinsey is actually the business school you graduate from– McKinsey doesn’t recruit outside of the top 10-15 MBA programs in the country, it’s extremely rare for them to do so. The Ti user is more likely not to know this.
The Te method states an illogical but true statement. It’s illogical because the university you attend shouldn’t have an impact on your job prospects: there are dumb kids at elite colleges and smart kids at lower ranked colleges. Even so, this is still a true statement because, again, McKinsey doesn’t recruit from universities outside the Top 10-15 MBA programs. Data suggests that school rankings have an impact on getting into McKinsey and other elite consulting firms (data references: McKinsey’s career website, LinkedIn, networking events, Poets and Quants, etc.). The Te user is more likely to know this.
Related: Mr. ENTJ, do things like rankings, reputation, and prestige for which school you attend matter when it comes to your career?
How do you change a Te user’s mind?
If you want the Te user to change their opinion, you must provide empirical evidence that overturns their logic.
If you tell a Te user you’re applying to Stanford University with a 2.0 GPA (C- average, 65-70%) and a 1000 SAT score (35 percentile) but the facts state Stanford’s average admitted GPA is over 4.0 (A+ average, 100%) and average SAT score is 1460+ (96 percentile) (reference: Stanford Admission Data) then Te will say you’re not a competitive candidate. It doesn’t matter if you’re a great student who’s actually really smart “but I’m just lazy/ I don’t do well on tests/my grades are bad.” It doesn’t matter if Stanford is the perfect fit for you and your tech entrepreneurship goals. It doesn’t matter if you think grading scales and test scores are illogical, insufficient, and inaccurate measures of intelligence. You can debate until your face is red, stomp your feet, cry, kick, and scream, but from a data perspective provided by Stanford University itself– the facts strongly suggest you aren’t getting accepted.
That’s not Te being mean or inflexible– that’s simply the facts – and we can’t do anything about the facts because they are what they are. They are objective. What is flexible to the Te user is how to solve the problem. Nothing will change the fact that you’re a poor candidate for Stanford but if the goal is to get accepted, the Te solution is to raise your grades and test scores to match the benchmark set by Stanford’s admission data. The solution is not to debate endlessly the merits of grades and test scores or Stanford’s admission criteria.
I’d love for you to get into the university of your dreams, Stanford is a phenomenal school, but if the data clashes violently with the decision then I can’t side with you. If the data doesn’t support the decision, the Te user won’t budge.
How can Te and Ti work better together?
Te gets frustrated with Ti’s focus on irrelevant details, inability to interpret generalizations, and frivolous nitpicking. Working with Ti can be irritating for a Te user because Ti can get “stuck” on something that doesn’t personally make sense to them, but that makes sense to everyone else, that works anyway, and that achieves the end result. Where the Te user wants to move on, the Ti user wants to stay and dig and dig and dig some more, and this can tie up valuable resources like time, energy, and money.
Professionally, set conditions for success from a third party and work towards meeting them together. For example, if it’s a business environment then let the customer tell you what success is. If it’s an academic environment, let the professor define success. If it’s a hospital, let patient quality and value of care guide you. Treat these conditions for success as a “north star.” From there, Te and Ti can combine their strengths to create solutions that are both logically sound (Ti) and effective (Te) to achieve the best results guided by the third party.
The Te Advantage
The main advantage of having Te is straightforward: Te users have an easier time navigating and succeeding in the real world simply because we listen to it and we make sense of what it’s telling us. We study the world, organize and analyze the information, and make data-driven decisions using our auxiliary function (Ni for ENTJs, Si for ESTJs) based on that analysis.
If you want to get accepted into Harvard University– you don’t tell Harvard what kind of student they want– you collect data on what statistics (GPA, major, test scores) they accept and adapt those traits to your application.
If you want to run a successful company, you don’t tell your customers what they should buy– you collect data on their preferences and create a product to meet their needs.
If you want the world to accept your logic, you don’t unilaterally rationalize it in your mind and then tell the world what they need– you ask them what they want and respond accordingly.
This is why ENTJs and ESTJs are often described as pragmatic and associated with high achievement, our traits are adapted for the environment we live in– reality.
Te from an actual Te-dom’s perspective. How incredibly refreshing.
me: I've found a job I wanna do
ti: cool, let's try all the jobs in the world first, so we'll know if that's the one for you
me: but I like it a lot and I'm very good at it
ti: yes but we need empirical evidence first, what if we're wrong
me: but they already hired me
ti: then let's writhe in misery instead of being happy about it
Often healthy Fi is described as having its own set of principles, but also understanding that these may not line up with others'. This gives them a live and let live mentality. Would healthy Ti have a similar reaction to people making differing subjective logical conclusions? Like, "I don't want anyone to tell me how to think, so I won't tell them how to think?" Or are they more easily irritated by people forming different logical frameworks since Ti is less likely to see itself as subjective?
It does not in the same way, though a healthy Ti user probably has learned to at least keep their mouth shut. There are a few reasons for this:
1. Ti users still have Fe, Fe still influences their interpersonal reactions, and in reality people do not neatly divide thoughts into “governed by their feeling function/governed by their thinking function”.
2. That said, people tend to consider logical conclusions differently than moral conclusions. Regardless of type people are more willing to accept ambiguity or difference in moral/ethical/feelings stuff. They are less likely to do the same for things they consider logical. Deductive logic in particular really doesn’t provide a lot of room for different conclusions if you have the same premises. I think the challenge is that a lot of Ti users (even healthy ones) don’t always realize that not everyone starts with the same premises.
With that in mind this is really more of an axial difference, not a single function:
Fi inherently sees people as being individual and does not expect consensus, and Te uses a logic system where you’re only as good as your collected data (inductive logic is basically a statistics game), so it expects different conclusions to exist given different data. You’ll need evidence, of course, to back up your claims, but disagreement is to be expected.
Fe inherently wants consensus or agreement, and Ti uses a logic system where given a set of premises there is likely one conclusion…but Ti also carries with it a set of personal premises (the internal logic system). As such it is less capable of tolerating disagreement.
I think this explains a couple things, namely why Ti users love to debate (because they think there’s a single correct answer and they see consensus as a goal) and why Te/Fi users often don’t (because it’s possible for both things to be true and they don’t mind disagreement).
That said: I do think there’s a point where this flips and that’s when it comes to very purely moral stances that require a clear breaking of consensus. A lot of Ti-Fe users are very willing to say “your position is incorrect” but many are a lot less willing to say “your position is morally wrong”; High Fi users have the opposite issue (high Te users are often willing to say both).
Lord of the rings is to A song of ice and fire as Ni is to Ne
petition to rename Ti the 'actually' function