Writing Blog

Property of Inkuban

[inkubanned]

Seeing Chad name discourse again as an individual who did the 3rd secret option. Chad being a mishearing of his name that he ended up just rolling with.

Also, Robert whose first name is legally not “Robert” because his mom was against him being a junior. He just goes with Robert bc it raises less questions & his real name is personal to him since it’s the name his mom gave him.

[inkubanned]

Finally revised an old fic. Here’s the link !

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[inkubanned]

Robert being a dry texter primarily because he’s used to having the cheapest phone plan with limited data since no one really texted or called him much pre-SDN.

When he does respond it’s brief, and he’s using extremely outdated acronyms out of habit.

So the Z-Team takes personal offence to his lack of messages, thinking he’s ignoring them.

The only one who seems to instantly pick up on why is Flambae, having had his fair share of shit phones & cell plans due to being broke and accidentally breaking/burning multiple phones.

Which makes Flambae the official translator, of Robert’s messages after he sends shit like:

“INCYMI EODM DBL”

Sonar: guys, I think he’s butt-texting us again

Coup: Maybe it’s code & he’s trying to discretely tell us something.

Flambae walking into the break room looking annoyed.

Flambae: The fuck you think we did this time? Usually we don’t have meetings on Thursdays. Couldn’t be my fault though.

Mal: …how the fuck did you get any of that from his text ??

[vale-river]

Flambert idea!

Flambae's love language, as everyone agrees, is obviously through cooking/food. Cooking is a big part of who he is, all of his happy memories are either in a kitchen, or around the dinner table. He feels closer to his parents when he makes a traditional dish, closer to home. Cooking makes him feel closer to everyone. He cooks for his friends, brings in homemade sweets for coworkers to try, meal preps for his family, anything to provide.

So when he meets Robert "consumes nothing but twinkies and coffee" Robertson, that caretaker side really comes out. Flambae makes it his personal mission to put some more meat on the dispatcher's bones, and starts bringing in extra food "on accident" and uses the excuse that it would be such a waste to throw good food out when Robert questions the offered meals. And Robert never turns down a single meal, the man just about licks the container clean every time, so Flambae knows he appreciates it.

When they eventually start dating, and Flambae has more of an excuse to feed Robert, he doesn't shy away from it anymore. He packs his boyfriend elaborate lunches every day, trying to outdo himself every time.

Then they move in together, and Flambae realizes Robert can actually cook?? Not even just "good enough to survive" kind of cooking. No, Robert has a cookbook from his mom, with almost every recipe memorized to the point where he knows how best to alter each one. Robert's good at cooking, he just chose not to because he didn't have the time or the resources to for the longest time.

But now he does have time and resources, and as hot as it is watching his boyfriend bustle about in his kitchen, Flambae feels worthless, undesirable.

Cooking is his thing, and Robert apparently doesn't need Flambae to do it for him.

So, Flambae cuts back on how often he cooks, lets Robert take over more and more. Robert's happy to show off his mom's recipes, and Flambae's happy to critique them, but beneath that he feels like he lost the most redeeming part of himself.

-~-~-~-~-

Flambae hasn't cooked in a week. No breakfasts, no lunches, no dinners, no random treats. Nothing. Robert handled all of it, and Flambae just. . . Let him. They didn't talk about it, didn't plan out days they'd be cooking, Robert just quietly took over and Flambae felt like he was losing his mind over it.

He wanted to cook, but Robert clearly had it handled. He didn't have anything else to do though, didn't have any other way of expressing himself. It felt like prison all over again- no cooking, no hobbies, no setting fires when the frustration of that boiled over. Except, that was an awful way of viewing it, because life with Robert wasn't imprisoning, he wasn't fucking trapped with him!

He was just. . . Lost.

They'd just gotten off of a long shift, and Flambae was mentally preparing for another night of Robert's cooking. His boyfriend kept sneaking glances at him throughout the drive, but Flambae didn't comment on it. He didn't know what they were for, but it could wait until they got back home.

Actually, it could wait until Flambae showered, and changed, and texted Prism, and flipped through shows on the TV. He refused to look at the kitchen the whole time, letting Robert do whatever.

Although Robert didn't once enter the kitchen. He followed Flambae around the apartment, looking more and more confused the longer Flambae avoided his favorite room. He sat on the couch next to Flambae, watching him with that intensely calculative look of his, before speaking.

"Bae, when are you going to cook again?" He asked, throwing Flambae off. "I miss your food."

"What?" Flambae asked, very eloquently.

"I like the stuff you make, I was just wondering why you haven't been cooking." Robert shrugged his shoulders like it was a casual conversation, but his eyes screamed concern.

"I mean, I can if you want me to, but I thought you liked cooking? With your whole, recreating childhood dishes and shit," Flambae pointed out, waving a hand in the general direction of the kitchen. Robert laughed, short and sharp like Flambae said something incorrect.

"I don't like cooking, I just figured you were burnt out, I thought I'd take over until you felt more like yourself. I may have my mom's recipes, but you have more of a love for making food than I do."

". . . Oh." Flambae couldn't think of anything better to say, too stunned to really think. This fucker cooked for him out of. . . What, concern? Because he thought Flambae was tired of it?

"I'll still cook tonight," Robert tacked on, "If you're still burnt out, I just really miss watching you work." And, that certainly got Flambae's mind running.

"Bitch, I don't get burnt out!" Flambae scoffed, pushing himself upright, "Fine, I'm taking away your kitchen privileges, have fun getting it back, biitch." He walked straight into the kitchen, dragging out ingredients and utensils without really thinking about what he was using them for.

"Oh no, whatever shall I do," Robert snarked in a deadpan, trailing after Flambae. He stood at a distance, watching him work from the doorway.

The air was warm, and Flambae relaxed back into the motions of chopping vegetables, tossing pans, stirring pots. All of it settled the uneasiness in his bones, and he felt so much more like himself as he poured his affections into his cooking.

All the while with Robert very obviously staring at his ass.

[inkubanned]

The important part I noticed about Grace was that he was a “people person”. Despite Eva emphasizing that he had no close relationships, he still found joy in connecting with the people around him.

He went out of his way to talk with the security officer who originally acted cold and disinterested, involving him in his work. He even gave some of the other security workers some of the skittles they had bought.

He spoke with the coordinator, pointing out the solution to the gravity problem & providing a fun fact about it. He also made an effort to speak to Eva, who seemed closed off the entire time. His effort is what encouraged her to join the party and sing, finally sharing a bit about herself.

You can tell Grace also genuinely cares about his work at the school & the kids he gets to teach, continuing his work on Erid.

His desire for connection is what drove him to learn to communicate with Rocky. The other astronauts most likely wouldn’t have even made the first contact with such a high risk mission.

Grace was human first and a scientist second.

[inkubanned]

Thinking abt how the Gomens human theory could only end badly considering the amount of things that Crowley and Aziraphale just use incorrectly that work purely because they didn’t know.

Never tuning up the Bentley or giving it gas. Aziraphale’s computer having never been plugged in but still works.

That is if they don’t die within the week from something equally ridiculous.

[inkubanned]

Robert has no contact photos on his phone. The only customized aspect is the lock screen which of course is Beef.

Meanwhile, Flambae has nicknames for everyone’s contacts alongside assigned pictures he took himself. He’ll regularly change his lock/home screens, usually to pics of him and his niece, letting her mess with his phone if she wants to.

He calls Robert’s phone after he lost it in his apartment, appalled to find that he doesn’t even have a contact photo, just “Chad”.

The team ends up stealing Robert’s phone to add photos to their contacts one by one. If some of them end up being a little crude, Robert’s not bothered to change them, endeared at the notion. Even if they changed his personal contact photo to something bordering an HR violation.

[inkubanned]

Everything in Flambae’s car is in almost mint condition. Hours of cleaning and finding the perfect parts to restore it. That car is practically his baby.

Meanwhile, Robert’s car is held together by sheer willpower and parts that really shouldn’t work but somehow function. Yeah, he knows what’s wrong, but why spend all that money on a new, exact part when he can salvage one for a fraction of the price?

Robert pops the hood of his car when the check engine light goes on, already lugging a jug of water.

Flambae: what the fuck, I thought you knew this shit? Also, why is half of this held together with duct tape?

Robert: I don’t feel like finding out where the leak is, so I just refill it. I’ve been replacing the parts I think it is one by one.

Flambae: … just- ugh- let me do this.

Flambae finds the leak in a few hours and takes the extra time to order and replace the parts needed with actual ones that fit. Not because he cares, but because it would suck if their dispatcher died to a self-induced auto incident.

[inkubanned]

Robert knows his way around a car because of the mech and his dad teaching him. Flambae literally has a collector car, self explanatory.

Both having mechanic backgrounds, they’ll argue about what’s wrong with their cars.

Flambae: The shaking’s probably from the converter. I wouldn’t be surprised if it got busted after you ran over that rock on the highway. Never letting you drive my car again, by the way.

Robert: Yeah no, it’s gotta be one of the spark plugs. It’ll be cheaper to start there.

Flambae: It’s my car, why are you telling me what to do.

Robert: I’m not telling you to do anything. Be my guest and replace one of the most expensive parts of the car first just to see that I’m right.

Flambae pops the hood to check the spark plugs to prove him wrong.

Robert was in fact right.

[inkubanned]

Robert being a decent artist because he had to draft blueprints and schematics for the mech. There might be some doodles of beef and cartoon mechs along the margins from when he got bored.

Flambae finds the old blueprints and sketches when helping sort out some stuff at Robert’s apartment. He notices how detailed they are and asks who he had to help make them.

Flambae: No wonder you have no money, these looked like a bitch to pay for

Robert: No need, all my inheritance went 100% into parts for the thing. God forbid I payed for a drafter.

Flambae: (trying not to sound extremely impressed) so…you made these?

Robert: (confused) who else would’ve?

[inkubanned]

Flambae seems the type to casually put a warm hand behind Robert’s neck or lower back to ease the tension there. Robert had gotten used to it by now, leaning into the offered comfort.

Like they’d be out with the team and he’d absentmindedly do it mid-convo, forgetting they never disclosed they were together.

The two wouldn’t even realize it’s unusual behavior either until someone else points it out.

[inkubanned]

Writing Flambert yuri,, unsure if I will finish & post it though

[inkubanned]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Forgor to share this, but it’s a two-parter 

Z-Team finds out Robert has been missing a leg this entire time. Apparently, twisting his foot back into place from a 180 degree angle doesn’t pass as normal.

[inkubanned]

So do you like the forced proximity trope for the potential, or do you just think no one would truly see you if they weren't forced to interact with you