[rosecrystal]

sooo true

[innocentmurmurs]

May have to take another break from Tumblr due to taking a break from me damn phone. My phone is so distracting I can't get anything done.

[rustingbridges]

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

[innocentmurmurs]

your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens

Khalil Gibran

That's it women. I'm going to become an optimist. If you see me being negative give me a slap and tell me to look on the bright side. It's actually quite scary to think of the power I hold, that if I just chose to I could be happy no matter what happens.

[innocentmurmurs]

I am not saying this is a microaggression or anything but why the hell do white people always comment on my lunch and be like smells really good why didn't you bring some for me. I never know how to respond to this. Near strangers that I've only spoken to once before will say this sort of stuff. Tf? They're joking but in an unless??? Sort of way. I don't know what to say

[design-is-fine]

Andy Goldsworthy, Ice Star and Ice Sphere, Scaur Water, Penpont, Dumfriesshire, 1987. Colour photography. Via Government Art Collection © Andy Goldsworthy

[design-is-fine]

Andy Goldsworthy, Ice Star and Ice Sphere, Scaur Water, Penpont, Dumfriesshire, 1987. Colour photography. Via Government Art Collection © Andy Goldsworthy

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

*Italian guy throwing a blogger into a trash compactor while smoking a cigar*

there’s ya friggin’ man crush monday ya fucking computer idiot 

[peach-foxgloves]

I have been looking for this post for YEARS.

[innocentmurmurs]

Tonight I will make malai kofta. I had no idea kofta could be vegetarian, I was only familiar with mincemeat kofta but apparently kofta just means ball not meatball as I thought. So you can even make gourd koftas, as long as it's shaped into a ball it's a kofta

[f-identity]

[Image description: A series of posts from Jason Lefkowitz @[email protected] dated Dec 08, 2022, 04:33, reading:

It's good that our finest minds have focused on automating writing and making art, two things human beings do simply because it brings them joy. Meanwhile tens of thousands of people risk their lives every day breaking down ships, a task that nobody is in a particular hurry to automate because those lives are considered cheap https://www.dw.com/en/shipbreaking-recycling-a-ship-is-always-dangerous/a-18155491 (Headline: 'Recycling a ship is always dangerous.' on Deutsche Welle) A world where computers write and make art while human beings break their backs cleaning up toxic messes is the exact opposite of the world I thought I was signing up for when I got into programming

/end image description]

[jauffre]

HUNTER’S DREAM (x)

[jauffre]

HUNTER’S DREAM (x)

[radfae]

every girl with mommy issues is like a sister to me

[maaarine]

I May Destroy You 1x07

[innocentmurmurs]

It really makes me laugh when the hospital sends me emails begging for someone to cover gaps. They're like..."it's cold and rainy in [city] this weekend. You know where it's warm and dry? The hospital! That's right, we're offering you the wonderful opportunity to do night shifts to shelter from the elements!"

Who thought this was a good idea? This is embarrassing. If you really want cover then raise the rates. I'm not going in on my days off whe I'm exhausted from my already long hours for peanut rates. I wouldn't even do it for good rates to be honest, I need rest or I won't be useful to anyone. And of course I'm a human being who should be allowed to rest, but I don't expect the trust to treat me like a human being lol. Juniordoctor.exe is broken, give it some lectures on resilience, that will do the trick!

Wow I sound so bitter but I do actually like my job. On a positive note, I really love the staff nurses on the gynae ward. They are so competent, polite and lovely. I used to bitch about this one charge nurse on my last job but other than her, the vast majority of staff nurses I've met have been an absolute pleasure to work with.

Tho the gynae nurses didn't let me get to the drug cupboard for a vial of 1% lidocaine in order to insert a large IV/cannula and I was a bit sad about that. I think grey cannulas are large and quite painful for the patient so I prefer to use a small amount of lidocaine for that. Literally 0.1ml does the trick, put it in a tiny insulin needle and inject just subcutaneous and it anaesthetises the whole area so you can put a huge monster cannula in and the patient won't feel a thing. Pink cannulas I wouldn't use lidocaine for, they're small diameter enough that there is no benefit to two needle pokes (one for the lidocaine and one for the cannula). But I get that this is rare practice so the nurses aren't used to this and are skeptical. They gave me this shitty topical lidocaine instead. That works for kids but not so much for adults. I don't think it really helped but the patient didn't say anything either way.

Not trying to overrule my colleagues but I don't really like when people say it won't hurt when they haven't gotten it done themselves and hence are talking out of their ass. Besides, people have different pain thresholds. I think lidocaine for grey cannulas is the kind thing to do. It's what an anaesthetist taught me to do. It's hard to do in practice though because doctors often don't have access to the drugs cupboards.

[innocentmurmurs]

The difference in pharmacy services between infectious diseases and obstetrics and gynaecology is actually insane. In ID we had three ward pharmacists, and one was in every day to check every new drug chart and do medicines reconciliation to make sure we weren't missing medications the patient was on prior to admission and catching prescription errors. There's only one pharmacist for both obstetrics and gynaecology and she has to do a lot of other admin sort of stuff so we don't really have ward cover. In gynae we don't send our discharge medications to a pharmacist for checking at all, just gotta hope no mistakes are made (which is really hard when you're the duty doctor who has to cover the patients in gynae ward, surgical high dependency unit, clinics, be first assist in theatre for emergency operations and help out in obstetrics if you're free). What I need in order to prescribe correctly is a quiet place where I can sit down and not be interrupted. The doctor's office in Gynae is absolutely SHIT, it's a cupboard and there's barely any chairs so I have to perch on a bin and I'm constantly being interrupted with other jobs (understandable, if patients are unwell then that takes priority over prescriptions but task switching really increases error rate).

ID was world's better and even there I didn't really have a quiet place and was constantly being interrupted. I tried to bring this up to the registrar and he was like tough shit weakling, get over it and stop blaming others instead of yourself. So yeah zero help there.

It is obviously my own responsibility and I do take personal measures. I meditate and practice mindfulness to try to focus my stream of thoughts, I study and grind the book learning, I try to stay hydrated and eat because a hungry, tired doctor will make mistakes. But it's not like there aren't also external contributing factors that are actually changeable! I complained about people talking while I was trying to do sensitive documents like death certificates once, actually that doctor herself kept talking and then went oops and joked about how she had made another mistake and would have to start again (so close to self-awareness...). The only solution I can think of is to create a cultural expectation of being quiet when you see someone is trying to do a prescription or some other sensitive document. There really is no need to talk excessively. It's fine to chat, I love to chat AFTER the jobs are done.

Anyway back to pharmacy. I wish we had more hospital pharmacists and I wish they would be able to join us on ward rounds. Having a friendship with one of the ID pharmacists helped so much because I could ask her questions any time rather than being unsure and being too afraid to ask. And work is so much nicer with the power of friendship

[innocentmurmurs]

On my first surgery placement as a student I could never find crocs/theatre shoes that fit me. I was complaining about this to my mom. Then a few days later I found some mysterious bright pink crocs outside my bedroom door. My dad had bought them for me after overhearing me talking to mom. He didn't tell me this, I assumed my mom bought them but she clarified that it was him. He was a general surgeon so he new the importance of good theatre shoes.

Later I went to theatre wearing my new crocs. A scrub nurse for some reason decided to take her frustration out on me that day. She told me off for the inappropriate colour of my theatre shoes. Behind her, I could see another scrub nurse wearing neon orange crocs. I said ok. Then I walked into the theatre anyway and started talking to the anaesthetist before she could chew me out further. She backed off then, afraid to challenge a senior doctor (but all too happy to bully a student). She was really very rude, I already was afraid of going to theatre as a newcomer and she didn't help with my anxiety. Initially I was a bit tearful but I got over it because the anaesthetist was really enthusiastic and taught me applied physiology.

I could have taken the path of least resistance and did what she said, but like hell was I going to take off the precious gift my dad had got for me!

Truthfully, we didn't really talk much, I was closer to my mom. But once I started learning surgery, we talked more and I could see his eyes light up explaining how he reduced fractures as the casualty surgical officer, or about hernia repairs or cholecystectomies or advanced trauma life support. I still have those crocs. I wear them around the house now, I don't want to risk them getting lost or stolen from the theatre changing rooms. I had to move away for my first job and I miss my family. When I wear them I remember those conversations.