Heya There

I have received a THREAT to my husband's life! Whoever left his prosthetic foot at my office door, rest assured I will find you and you will rot in the depths of the darkest prison I can find!

Silva, call me IMMEDIATELY!

-G.O.

Oh fuck. Love, please calm down I’m already on my way to your office. Also you know you don’t have to call me by my last name since we are married.

Don't exchange private information over social media! They may be listening! -G.O.

No one is listening I promise

Well I guess technically are listening but like… we’re not a threat we swear.

Clio you just extorted this poor dude for his foot

Shhh!

Heya there! Here's your follow up questionnaire

1) As a child? did you want to be when you grew up?

2) What's a challenge you've faced in your life?

3) Coke or Pepsi?

4) What's a regret you have?

5) If you could transform into any animal what would it be?

6) Opinion on zucchini?

When we get the responses you'll get the location of your foot :)

1) Well when I was a kid I wanted to be a footballer. I played all the way through to secondary school.

2) Just one? My life is more a series of challenges. Getting back to work after I got my legs blown off? Divorce and the custody battle? Quitting smoking?

3) Cherry Coke of course

4) Hard to say. I would say I wish I came out younger but I would never regret having my daughter. Joining special forces and getting blown up? But then I wouldn’t meet my husband. I find it’s best not to dwell on what I can’t change. Although right now it’s not asking someone to grab my foot for me when I was being loaded back into the car.

5) Bears are cool. No one fucks with bears.

6) I only like it when Gatiss makes it, but I eat anything he makes me.

Thank you for your response! I agree that bears are very cool. Now, Archie?

Well, it took a while but we found it. In fact somehow, Clio convinced our boss to go pick it up for you. Since we don’t know where you live they dropped it outside your husband’s office door. The boss also said to apologize for all the trouble and that they hope you’ll be back on your feet soon. Uh, no pun intended.

Heya there! You, Koya Oshiro, have been volunteered for an interview! Here are your questions

1) What’s your job?

2) If you could be anything, what would that be?

3) Favorite cheese?

4) Are you afraid of death?

5) If someone offered you the Death Note from the hit anime/manga Death Note would you take it?

6) Do you ever feel guilty for what you did?*

7) Opinion on pink starburst candies

Please finish questionnaire in the best time frame possible. We don’t want to loose track of the foot.

- @interdimentionalinterviewco

*Whatever it may be! The IDIC is not responsible for any guilt or implication thereof that may or may not be incurred by this question

Oh, joy. A questionnaire.

1. I am a member of the Elite Division of INTERPOL, as well as a consultant for the Ministry of Magic.

2. What sort of question is this? Am I a being capable of sapeince, or do I have the option of turning into an inanimate object? Either way, my answer does not change. I would rather stay as I am.

3. I don't have one.

4. No.

5. Of course I would. It would fall under the category of illegal magical/paranatural contraband, so I would turn it in to the proper authorities.

6. You'll have to be more specific.

7. Candy is unhealthy.

-K.O.

Wow- I dare say this might be one of the coldest sets of responses we’ve ever heard. Good on you! That’s one down, one more to go before we reveal the location of the foot.

Well I’m having the aneurysm now

Well, before Clio tries to snag you into a follow up interview-

Hey!

-I can say with confidence it wasn’t us, and I couldn’t find who or how it got taken due to various people and items blocking the camera. Good luck though.

I don’t suppose you’re still interested in that follow up?

I mean I’m already hacked into the cameras, let me see what I can-

Archie SUSH. We are interested in the follow up! But additionally you must convince someone else you know to do an interview as well!, or do TWO yourself! Are you willing to pay the price?

You’re making this sound like he’s selling he’s soul Clio

Shhhh! Are you gonna do it?

I hope you’re happy extorting a disabled man but fine if it will get me my foot back then I’ll do it

I’m always happy extorting people for interviews, regardless of personal status. A follow up questionnaire will be sent shortly, but who are you volunteering for the second one?

@detective-luca-montoya Koya you’re already blackmailing me would you PLEASE help me out here

Fine, I suppose... -K.O.

Revenge interview? I love it. Expect both of your questionnaires to appear into your inboxes shortly.

Well I’m having the aneurysm now

Well, before Clio tries to snag you into a follow up interview-

Hey!

-I can say with confidence it wasn’t us, and I couldn’t find who or how it got taken due to various people and items blocking the camera. Good luck though.

I don’t suppose you’re still interested in that follow up?

I mean I’m already hacked into the cameras, let me see what I can-

Archie SUSH. We are interested in the follow up! But additionally you must convince someone else you know to do an interview as well!, or do TWO yourself! Are you willing to pay the price?

You’re making this sound like he’s selling he’s soul Clio

Shhhh! Are you gonna do it?

I hope you’re happy extorting a disabled man but fine if it will get me my foot back then I’ll do it

I’m always happy extorting people for interviews, regardless of personal status. A follow up questionnaire will be sent shortly, but who are you volunteering for the second one?

Well I’m having the aneurysm now

Well, before Clio tries to snag you into a follow up interview-

Hey!

-I can say with confidence it wasn’t us, and I couldn’t find who or how it got taken due to various people and items blocking the camera. Good luck though.

I don’t suppose you’re still interested in that follow up?

I mean I’m already hacked into the cameras, let me see what I can-

Archie SUSH. We are interested in the follow up! But additionally you must convince someone else you know to do an interview as well!, or do TWO yourself! Are you willing to pay the price?

You’re making this sound like he’s selling he’s soul Clio

Shhhh! Are you gonna do it?

Well I’m having the aneurysm now

Well, before Clio tries to snag you into a follow up interview-

Hey!

-I can say with confidence it wasn’t us, and I couldn’t find who or how it got taken due to various people and items blocking the camera. Good luck though.

Hey there! Here are your questions. Send them back to us and we’ll tell you where your foot is.

1) What do you do for a living?

2) What’s one interesting story from your job?

3) If you could become anything, what would it be?

4) Are you afraid of death

5) Opinion on French onion soup?

6) Would you be interested in opting into the IDIC’s currently in beta testing Rate A CrimeTM Program?

-Clio, IDIC interviewer @interdimentionalinterviewco

1) I’m a Detective Chief Inspector with Scotland Yard and I’m currently seconded at INTERPOL as a CI. I’m currently responsible for coordinating with other law enforcement agencies, both domestically and internationally, to fight international crime.

2) The strangest case I ever had started with a bloody pigeon—flying in and out of a council flat where a retired Cold War cryptographer named Martin Rowley had been dead three days. Looked like natural causes, but something was just off to me. Turned out the bird was a homing pigeon carrying coded microfilm. I can’t give more details as a matter of national security unfortunately but if we ever unclassified the documents it would give you a fair bit of entertainment.

3) Fuck if I know. I’m almost 40 this feels more like a question you’d give a child. I guess I stopped entertaining hypotheticals after the incident and just started doing what I wanted, no more “wanting to become” anything anymore for me.

4) Yes. I have the service dog and the insomnia to prove it. But doesn’t everyone? I think it’s only human. Maybe it would be different if I wasn’t lapsed in my Catholicism, because mãe never seems worried about it. Must be comforting to know what’s going to happen when you’re gone. I also have a dog, a daughter, and a neurotic husband I would be leaving behind if I died so that adds to it.

5) Too salty on its own, good to dip a sandwich in.

6) I would need more information on the program. Currently I rank most crimes 0/5.

Now where the fuck is the foot.

Thank you for your response! We use a ten point scale and while it’s still in beta we’ll definitely mark you as interested. Now Archie, where’s the foot?

Some concerned pedestrians found it and left it on a bench in front of the Happy Hands Nail Salon.

If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva

Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.

I know, I know. Trust me I will be getting in enough trouble about it later without you lecturing me, but in my defense I was a tad busy and distracted.

Too busy to remember a whole foot?

Lol! Don't you need that?

Need is a strong word Montoya… but yes. I got brought back to the cruiser after I made the arrest before I could grab it.

You know, our IT guy might be able to find it by hacking into the cameras… only if you agree to an interview of course.

-Clio

You can’t see it but I’m looking very skeptical. What KIND of interview?

Just a standard one! Like what do you do for a living, do you enjoy it, your opinion on certain issues, are you afraid of death, your favorite food… the normal stuff! Don’t worry, the IDIC can a policy against selling information to any third party services.

I've been interviewed by these guys before. Only a low 6 on weirdest interview I've ever had.

Only a 6? Wow, thanks! I am definitely putting that in my annual progress report. I might even get a raise! If I even get payed for this…

If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva

Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.

I know, I know. Trust me I will be getting in enough trouble about it later without you lecturing me, but in my defense I was a tad busy and distracted.

Too busy to remember a whole foot?

Lol! Don't you need that?

Need is a strong word Montoya… but yes. I got brought back to the cruiser after I made the arrest before I could grab it.

You know, our IT guy might be able to find it by hacking into the cameras… only if you agree to an interview of course.

-Clio

You can’t see it but I’m looking very skeptical. What KIND of interview?

Just a standard one! Like what do you do for a living, do you enjoy it, your opinion on certain issues, are you afraid of death, your favorite food… the normal stuff! Don’t worry, the IDIC can a policy against selling information to any third party services.

Fine but if it’s some bullshit or you start asking questions that are confidential it’s over got it?

That works for us! We’ll get the questions to you as soon as possible… so you can get your foot back, of course.

If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva

Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.

I know, I know. Trust me I will be getting in enough trouble about it later without you lecturing me, but in my defense I was a tad busy and distracted.

Too busy to remember a whole foot?

Lol! Don't you need that?

Need is a strong word Montoya… but yes. I got brought back to the cruiser after I made the arrest before I could grab it.

You know, our IT guy might be able to find it by hacking into the cameras… only if you agree to an interview of course.

-Clio

You can’t see it but I’m looking very skeptical. What KIND of interview?

Just a standard one! Like what do you do for a living, do you enjoy it, your opinion on certain issues, are you afraid of death, your favorite food… the normal stuff! Don’t worry, the IDIC can a policy against selling information to any third party services.

If anyone finds a disembodied foot in Pall Mall please contact me post haste. It’s a men’s size nine and it’s wearing a solid black Adidas trainer. -DCI Tomas Silva

Wait, Silva you LEFT it there? Awfully careless of you.

I know, I know. Trust me I will be getting in enough trouble about it later without you lecturing me, but in my defense I was a tad busy and distracted.

Too busy to remember a whole foot?

Lol! Don't you need that?

Need is a strong word Montoya… but yes. I got brought back to the cruiser after I made the arrest before I could grab it.

traumatizedoldmen-deactivated20

You know, our IT guy might be able to find it by hacking into the cameras… only if you agree to an interview of course.

-Clio

you-need-not-apply

Reblog this post to ask mutuals to tell you their weirdest theory about u

Hey there!

I’m Clio from the IDIC(interdimentional interview corps). We saw your request roleplay and wondered if your character would like to answer a few questions for us?

What’s your least favorite thing a/your whumper has done?

Are you afraid of death?

Would you escape if you could?

What’s your favorite flavor of soup?

- @interdimentionalinterviewco

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐨! 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 ♡

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚/𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞?

𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐖𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝/𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬—𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥, 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦—𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡! 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫…

𝐔𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐧—𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐬… 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 :(

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡?

𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬. 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥. 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥.

𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝?

𝐈'𝐦 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡? 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞 (𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞: 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐭.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐩?

𝐓𝐮𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐲!

Thank you for answering!

johnhwatsonblog

Hey there, my name is Clio from the IDIC(Inter Dimensional Interview Corp) and we currently are working on a program to rate crimes. We understand you recently experienced an attempted murder- how would you rate your experience? All comments and complaints are welcome.

- @interdimentionalinterviewco

What’s the rating scale, Clio? 0 to 10? With 10 being “mission completed”?

A scale of 1-10 would be preferred, but it’s based on your own personal experience! For example, 10 would be an enjoyable experience, with no injuries but an otherwise beautifully conducted attempt, while a 1 would be the least favorable experience possible- such as in the event you died and it was very painful. The IDIC welcomes all ranges of responses however, so any comments or changes to the rating methods are welcome, as this is still a developing program!

(It’s against protocol, but if you want I can also give you your perpetrator’s rating for reference? It might help- plus, it could be fun to know)

-Clio

#rp #idic

Heya there! This is Clio again from the IDIC- we happen to have recently expanded our kidnapping rating program to a general crime rating program, and were wondering is Detective Montoya could rate her most recent attempted murder? Things like weapon experiences (we heard rumors about some gun related difficulties) would be appreciated.

- @interdimentionalinterviewco

I had no such difficulties! It's not my fault guns are stupid. And it didn't even work. Plus, I got beaten up. 2/10.