typecasting sucks unless it's Charlize Theron playing an emotionally unstable woman in an action thriller in which case it fucking rules
Not today Justin

★
i don't do bad sauce passes
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@interstaeller
typecasting sucks unless it's Charlize Theron playing an emotionally unstable woman in an action thriller in which case it fucking rules
No but like, this is the thing about Sam carrying Frodo and the ring up the mountain. It's a cool scene in the movie, but they don't explain what's happening at all. The ring at this point is so heavy Frodo can't even lift his head. It's like essentially a cinder-block he has to carry around his neck. And finally he gives up and Sam offers to carry him and:
DO YOU GUYS GET IT? THE RING IS A BURDEN, BUT FRODO ISN'T. FRODO DOESN'T WEIGH ANYTHING TO SAM. SAM CAN LIFT HIM EASILY!!!! HE'S NOT A BURDEN AT ALL I —
murderbot and arts first meeting is literally so funny. like imagine you meet a biblically accurate angel and instead of being all 'be not afraid' it says actually you SHOULD be afraid. and then when you are in fact afraid it goes oh shit oh fuck. not THAT afraid, sorry. wanna watch tv? and then you watch tv with it and it keeps telling you to pause it when its favourite characters are in danger so it can calm down. and then it asks to do surgery on your bones. Asshole Research Transport character of all time
op your tags are so important
Really truly genuinely me
This pizza was made over here in Brazil and I’m happy to inform everyone that the method they used to get the toppings over the whole dough evenly is just slightly less funny than what the last poster in the thread suggested:
They hovered a guy over it using a crane and maneuvered him around by pushing him with a pole.
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
Elfbruary Day 8: Arwen the Smith
I noticed in my recent reread that the banner Arwen makes isn't described as embroidered or woven. It's described as "made" and "wrought." Words Tolkien uses for things made through smithcraft. And the materials mentioned for the banner are metals, not any specific cloth.
And then I remembered both the brooch she left for Aragorn in Lothlorien and that it isn't mentioned who reforged Narsil. Arwen is associated with smithcraft, so why not her? :)
summer
1. make a syllabus for yourself - books, media, places, recipes
2. complete 40% of it
3. eat every fruit u can
i quit cold turkey
quit what?
cold turkey
yeah but what did you quit
im telling you, i quit cold turkey
alcohol?
no i quit cold turkey
i wasnt offering, im trying to figure out what you quit
and im telling you i quit cold turkey
wait. you quit cold turkey?
yes i quit cold turkey
like the meat?
no i dont like it thats why i quit it
cold turkey?
no im gradually weaning myself off it
"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"
DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT
do you think these people can read
Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
Uma torre.... digo, família de tamanduás 🐾
@applechime
we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system
rocky learn about human tattoos on portable earth thinking machine
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”