So I hear you have a new story for me?
Yes sir, I do. It’s an Aaron story.
Great! People love Aaron. He’s been through a lot though, how are we going to make this new and fresh without Ro-
Well you see we’re just going to put him in a new relationship.
Right. Okay because he’s been through too many other things at this point to do anything new and fresh so this is all that’s left?
Exactly. So we’re going to bring in this new guy.
And is he going to be some new dynamic character that really brings a spark to the village? Someone that could rival Ro-
So Aaron and this new guy, Ben, have “history”.
Oh okay…why are you doing that air quote thing?
See Aaron used to bully Ben when they were in school together for being gay.
Oh, well that seems like a solid foundation for a new relationship. I see no problems there at all.
Oh well it causes problems for sure because this is Aaron.
Right, we do like to cause him pain and make him cry. So does it take this guy Ben a long time get over seeing his school bully again? I feel like this should be a major obstacle to the idea of them dating?
No, it’s super easy, barely an inconvenience. See they just have one drink together and Aaron says some vague stuff about Gordon and Ben talks about how horrible Aaron made his life back then and how it made him want to die but by the end of the drink they’re sorted and ready for a kayak date.
Well you see Ben is a kayak instructor.
Yes, kayaks. Don’t worry, we’re going to have every other character on the show mock kayaks at some point to make up for it.
Great! So what happens on this kayak date?
Oh they don’t actually go because Aaron gets a letter telling him his divorce is finalized and he’s got to angrily play video games instead.
Retreating into video games instead of dealing with your problems is tight! So how does this new relationship go then? Is it a slow burn while he’s trying to get over Ro-
Oh well it’s nothing really at first, just a series of false starts and apologies and failed plans to get another drink and Aaron is SUPER grumpy the whole time.
Does Ben like grumpy Aaron the way Rob-
Actually, he kind of seems to hate it and he eventually breaks up with Aaron in the middle of the street and calls him toxic and tells him he needs to sort out his life.
Wow wow wow wow! Wait…were they even dating?
Well Ben’s going to disappear off screen for 4 and a half months.
Wait what? Doesn’t that ruin any kind of momentum for the story?
Listen, I’m going to need you to get all the way off my back about this okay? Let’s just vaguely blame Covid all right?
Right, so when he shows back up after 4 an a half months are things tense? Does Aaron even remember this guy? It’s not like he was even a significant rebound after Ro-
Well the first thing Aaron does is snap at him and then they apologize and make vague plans for a drink.
So they’ve picked up right where they left off.
Not exactly, see they just kind of ignore that whole toxic speech and instead everything is just focused on Liv because she’s drinking again and Ben wants to help.
I’m not sure how we got here but why would Ben want to help this guy he called toxic and hasn’t spoken to in over four months?
Well you see, oddly enough, Ben’s dad is an alcoholic so he has the relevant experience.
Oh fair enough. So while Ben is helping out, do he and Aaron find any time at all to talk about what the two of them are now?
No no, they’re VERY focused on Liv, it’s pretty much the only thing they talk about because she’s gone missing now but Ben’s got all the answers.
Because his dad is an alcoholic?
Because his dad is an alcoholic. Anyway, so Ben is really nice and supportive and he’s just going to be in every scene with Aaron from now on and constantly in the Mill and following him around everywhere and using words like “we” and “us” all the time and-
Did we skip a few scenes? Are they a couple now?
Unclear. But he’s just basically glued to Aaron’s side now so it’s sort of like they’re in a relationship but Aaron doesn’t know it. Oh and Ben and Liv are super close now too and she has him on speed dial.
Yeah they went on a road trip together to fetch her from her Sandra’s caravan. It’s not important because there’s this other story that’s been going on simultaneously.
Oh story crossover, that’s tight!
Yeah so it turns out that Victoria and Luke’s relationship is imploding.
No one sir. So it turns out that Luke might be gay or bi, we don’t like labels right now so that’s not relevant but he used to be with this guy Stephen and they wanted to move in together and so Luke needed to tell Wendy but Lee got home first and in addition to being a rapist, he’s also homophobic so he beat Luke up when he tried to tell him about Stephen but Luke fought back and hit him and Lee falls to the floor and hits his head and all of this is on the same day he got whacked with a shovel.
Wow wow wow wow…wow! So can I mention Robert now?
Now you can mention Robert because EVERYONE else is. There are going to be so many Robert mentions the fans are going to be sure he’s returning, especially because Wendy has become Robert’s number one fan and is trying to get him out of prison early no matter the cost to her own son.
Is he returning? Because people would really like that.
No, there are no plans in the immediate future.
Oh okay. So does Aaron find out about all of this?
He does. Once Victoria finds out, she dumps lying Luke and goes straight to Ethan who has already told Wendy that none of this information will help Robert anyway but she gets him to admit he’s not 100% sure so she’s going to go see Robert to tell him. But first she drops round the Mill and kicks Ben out to tell Aaron all about it and Aaron sort of freaks out and storms out.
Sounds very in character.
Yeah, so then when we see him again, he’s with Ben and he’s having a very strong reaction to all of this and ranting about how he wants to destroy the Posners for ruining his life and Robert’s life.
Wow if I were Ben, I’d be backing off now because it seems like Aaron is really not over his ex.
We’re not really into using logic here. Anyway, so Vic is going to ask Aaron to come with her to see Robert.
He could get to see Robert again after all this time? Does he go?
Well he’s going to go reassure Ben instead that he wants him and not Robert and-
Has Aaron shown any actual interest in Ben thus far?
Not really, but this is the story we’re telling and Aaron was really hurt when Robert cut him off so now he wants to make things with Ben official.
So instead of telling an actual story about Aaron and Ben meeting and getting to know each other and dealing with Aaron moving on from Robert we’re just going to use the short hand of Robert being an immediate threat to push Aaron and Ben together?
Well this was just easier sir.
So that’s it for now, what do you think?
I think the fans are going to love it, especially all of these Robert mentions. I’m sure none of them will feel betrayed when he doesn’t return.
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