[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[luntfontanne]

damn he really is an all-time poster

[krippe90]

Truly

[lottiezilla]

me, talking to a straight couple: so which one of u is the jackie and which one is the shauna

[rustingbridges]

I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

they posted a full version lol it’s mr Stacy’s dad for me

[the-fallen-blue]

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[iamnotlanuk]

New one in the saga of Tony Hawk trying to live life as Tony Hawk

[reginasphalanges]

SCOOBY-DOO (2002) dir. by Raja Gosnell

[crabussy]

how come they make you reinvent the concept of dinner every evening. I have to make dinner come true every evening like some kind of unpaid genie intern

[matchagirl]

[homura]

[valtsv]

this is literally what i look like when i’m reading one of those 20k word fics with the really long lowercase titles that are formatted (like this) and i finally reach the part where the characters both realise they’ve been mutually pining for each other the entire time

[hannbl]

[chrollo-tw]

me after I eliminated 21,042 people

[woman-becomer]

*kisses ur forehead*

*I absorb and consume one precious memory*

[donuteater13]

*forgets that you kissed my forehead*

[andastra-en-route-deactivated20]

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[avadcniels]

HACKS ⇢ 3x08 | YES, AND

[parkchanwoohoo]

My entire feed is 20% damn there was a shooting at the White House and 80% CHEATED??? ON MEGAN THEE STALLION????

[parkchanwoohoo]

Megan Thee Stallion listen to me. You have to cheat back. I'm free any time for you. Please

[ace-aussie-asshole]

Megan Thee Stallion was dating someone?? Man I'm out of the loop on celebrity relationships. This post does make it seem like it was either Trump or the shooter who cheated on her though.

[annoyedbreadstick]

I didn't even know who Megan Thee Stallion is before this post

[parkchanwoohoo]