intrusive thoughts

poems, lists, random writings

[petaltexturedskies]

Anaïs Nin, in a diary entry dated 27 February 1929, featured in The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. IV, 1927-1931

[motherrcain]

[sweatermuppet]

sun bleached flies - ethel cain

[cybervoidd]

[faggotdraws]

We all know how it goes The more it hurts, the less it shows But I still feel like they all know And that’s why I could never go back home

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain @mothercain

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

i used to lay my head on my fathers stomach when i was sick and I just let him comfort me because I was small and I couldn't handle the world, i didn’t realize that the last time i rested my head on him would be the last time and i am haunted by the fact that i will never be young again 

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

Love

Touch Tank - Quinnie / Her Name in the Sky - Kelly Quindlen /J's Lullaby - Delaney Bailey /Open Me Carefully - Emily Dickinson / Strawberry Blond - Mitski

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

sometimes I think I'll stay in the closet forever

I'll turn the lock on the handle

shutting off that part of me

for just a few more moments

they'll tell me how proud they are

while I gasp for air in a shrinking room

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

Strangers

New Years Day - Taylor Swift / Once More to See You - Mitski / Love Letter From the Sea to the Shore - Delaney Bailey / The Only Thing - Sufjan Stevens / Scott Street - Phoebe Bridgers

[not-cuidarnos-deactivated202312]

i don't want to sound like a whore, but i'd really like to know how you feel and how your day was

[konoko]

slut era (just want hugs and attention)

[beardedmrbean]

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

when Leith Ross said “last night, i wrote a prayer / to the water in my head” knowing that no matter how many words they say towards the sky the only thing they are really praying to is their own imagination and when they said “read the book my mother read” referring to the bible as merely a book for that is all it is anyway and when they said “see i don’t believe in God / at least not one that’s not as human as me and anyone that ever was” which is in direct contrast to the consensus that the church has agreed to about the humaness of jesus, almost as if they are saying that jesus cannot fully be human as he was perfect and messiness is in human nature and when they said “see, i have to believe in some kind of diety / in lonely eyes and looming trees” as if there is a godliness to nature and beauty which is something they would rather believe in and when they said “i can’t count upon heaven or hell or law” recognizing that not only can they not rely on the supernatural but also the structures of the world which is why they wish to believe in anything else and when they said “but i’m scared and lonely / amen” knowing that even though they don’t have any real faith, they need someone, anyone to talk to and there is something inherently comforting about prayer

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

fuck you (i really loved you)

Tolerate It - Taylor Swift / Complex (Demo) - Katie Gregson-Macleod / Night Shift - Lucy Dacus / Love Ridden - Fiona Apple / Folding - Abimaro / Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

Loving and Leaving

Angelina - Lizzy McAlpine / Moon Song - Phoebe Bridgers / A House in Nebraska - Ethel Cain / Pink in the Night - Mitski / The Archer - Taylor Swift

[intrusivethoughtsicantignore]

Religious Trauma in Song Lyrics 

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain / VBS - Lucy Dacus / Chinese Satellite - Phoebe Bridgers / Prayer - Leith Ross /  The Village - Wrabel / We Exist - Arcade Fire / If I Believe You - The 1975