Defy the Darkness

Writer by nature, coach and mentor through experience, speaker through passion, leader by listening. American man, Warrior poet, 2 deployments to Afghanistan. Writing a book about my troubled past that discusses surviving and overcoming. I've fought through my own Hells and and come out the otherside dominating life. Follow me @invictus_dev_grp on Instagram, facebook, tiktok, The Pattern.

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Link in bio! Join me on Thursday nights from 6-7pm central for my Healing Trauma Deep Dive. These group sessions focus on answering your hardest questions regarding trauma and the complications that follow on. You'll have the opportunity to pose questions to the moderator as well as the group via zoom and also relate to questions others have in a group format. Group size is limited to only 10! For those who would like to ask questions verbally, please use headphones if available. Verbal participation is NOT required. Disclaimer: This group session will be moderated by Dylan but that does not deny the possibility that triggering words will be discussed. This is a group format and will be treated as a safe environment to discuss things openly. If you do not abide by the simple rules stated at the beginning of the session, you will be asked to leave. If you join the group and recognize that the environment is not to your liking, please email Dylan at [email protected] and you will be refunded. (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXd_cGVlFRJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

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One cut is just the beginning. When you begin to see the linear progression of your wounds, how you learned from them, adapted to them, you begin to see where things turned against you. You see where you stopped feeling safe and where you stopped opening up to those who could help. You begin to see why you stopped trusting people. It's tragic because one cut can turn into one hundred but one moment of empathy could stop ninety nine. #empathy #trauma #wounds #deepcut #safety #trust #love #DefyTheDarkness #dylansessler #mentalhealth #mentalwellness (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXY4iZmlQW4/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Please leave a comment. You deserve praise. 👏 #proud #pride #kindness #empathy #compassion #dylansessler (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXPtidQlj-A/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Pearl Harbor, 1941. If you lived through 9/11 you may understand what happened 80 years ago today, but maybe not. There were 19 hijackers on 9/11 who coordinated their efforts. The attack on Pearl Harbor was conducted by a Japenese strike force of 30 surface vessels, 35 submarines, and over 350 aircraft. The coordination to move that much material and men to commit such a infamous attack at the time is beyond our comprehension. Intention and motive aside, what happened 80 years ago today is nothing short of brutal. In total, 30 million soldiers and civilians would die in the Pacific Theater alone. We cannot comprehend the tragedies of wars like this. I hope that if you see this post you find yourself grateful this morning. I hope uou find yourself grateful you weren't vaporized in the USS Arizona, or trapped in the USS Oklahoma as it went belly up, or forced on the Bataan death march. I hope you are grateful you never saw the violence of the rape of Nanjing, Japanese Unit 731, Guadalcanal, Peleliu, and more. I hope you're grateful you never had to witness the instant loss of somewhere between 129,000 and 226,000 lives from the dropping of the atomic bombs. War and violence is an uncomfortable topic because how can we possibly understand the motives of such destructive choices? People are not as docile as you may believe. We are capable of great evil and great violence. Pearl Harbor was a tragedy in a long line of tragedies. We as a society need to always consider that violence is not merely a possibility, but an expectation in the human repertoire. Idealism is a dangerous idea when you begin to recognize what lengths people will go to maintain control. For today, I hope you find gratitude for being alive today and not in a time of world war. ~Dylan Sessler #PearlHarbor #worldwar2 #violence #war (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXL7-V5lvWM/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Consistency matters but few actually have the perspective to practice it. We don't have a hypocrisy issue, we have a definition issue. What is the standard for authority in the home? What is the standard for authority in politics? What is the standard? We don't have conversations surrounding defining these things, we just blast each other for crossing the metaphorical lines. Let's do better. Let's have conversations. And dont forget to follow me on Twitter, I'm doing that now too. 😅 #consistencymatters #consistency #authority #authoritatian #hypocrisy #humansarehypocrits #hypocritical #standards (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXJSt2Oluk0/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I listened to @garyvee talk about how people have the audacity to expect people's appreciation having only just created something and that really struck me. I see it so easily in entrepreneurs and especially creators but here's the hard truth: I see it in the traumatized trying to heal. You have to understand that healing requires you to reprogram your body, your mind, and how both operate in tandem. There are both conscious and subconscious tasks that need to be reorganized and redefined. There is an entire vocabulary of words that have never been fully defined and above all, there are important lessons you need to learn about yourself and life in general. Nothing is easy in this life, healing chief among them. How can you expect this to happen overnight? I wish it was more comfortable. I wish it was easier but I have watched a lot of people try to heal. I've watched myself heal. I've done it. It hurts more than the actual events I was healing from. Healing should not be called healing...it should be called killing because that's what you do. You kill parts of you. You viciously attack the irrational ideas that have been your operating system because they helped you survive but also brought you a host of so many other issues. Killing is disturbing. Killing is about ending someone else. It's a savage enterprise that is remarkably terrifying, yet as nature shows us everyday, absolutely necessary. I think this is why people commit suicide. Healing is akin to killing and some people choose to kill themselves to heal their trauma and their pain. It's an answer to a problem they have never been trained to solve. Society, educators, and parents don't want to discuss healing like this. It's morbid. It's grotesque. But when has a full life lived not encountered the morbid and grotesque? When are we going to wake up from the "meta" of perfection and realize we need to have painfully morbid conversations that don't fit the beautiful narrative? Healing doesn't have to end with suicide but if we don't have these conversations with adults AND kids about how much healing hurts and what to expect, we become part of the problem. #healing #healtrauma #dylansessler (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CW5-39gliwZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

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You have to make the climb to be on top of your world. Persist, my friend, persist. #persist #perspective #climb #pinnacle #pinnaclemountain #climbthemountain #persistence (at Pinnacle Mountain State Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWUaeCuFElG/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Do you want to know why I've been MIA lately? I've been honing my skills at US Army National Guard Sniper school. With it being Veteran's Day today, I thought I'd share with you what I've been up to. In a less than a week, I will become Sniper qualified. A dream that has taken over a decade to materialize has finally one true. After nearly 14 years, 2 deployments, and more memories than I can keep track of, it goes by so quick. This veterans day I have spent crawling around in the creeks and forests of Arkansas. To all my brothers and sisters, it has been and continues to be my honor to serve with and learn from the deadliest warriors in the world. This year has been tough, though. I lost one of my own. I can tell you from experience, it's a painful thing to lose someone you've invested so much of yourself into. It hurts to lose young men who were destined to be good leaders. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a sense of guilt because I wasn't always what he needed me to be. I wasn't always empathetic or patient. I wasn't always present. I did the best I could and I have to live with and process what that meant to him. This is the part of Veterans day that people don't talk about. The part where you don't want to celebrate and honor yourself because they aren't here to enjoy it. They being the dead... Survivor's guilt is a harsh reality and it's one that many warriors woke up with today. I'm not in a bad place but I am in a solemn place on days like today. 'Waz' will always be remembered, if by no one else, by me. Here's to all of my warriors who have survived their battles and the one's who have not. This is to the veterans who have sacrificed; to the men and women who have sacrificed themselves upon the alter of freedom. This is for those who served 3 years or have given their lives. A veteran is a veteran. Be proud of your service. Honor yourself but always remember to honor those who have paid a higher price. Happy Veteran's Day, SSG Dylan J. Sessler #veteransday #sniperschool #ghillie #ghilliesuit #sniper #armyveteran #dylansessler #DefyTheDarkness https://www.instagram.com/p/CWKH5UUFreo/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Your values are the fire that keeps you warm, that keeps you fighting, that makes it easy to sacrifice those things that would come between you and being the human you want to be. If you have never spent time defining what your values mean TO YOU, how can you expect to define your choices? Your values are not built for how other people look at you, they are for built so you learn where your personal boundaries are; where are you willing to go compared to where you are not willing to go. You don't follow me for no reason. So let me tell you one of the single most influential thing I do in my coaching sessions... I help you establish a good understanding of your own values. We define them. We discuss the extremes of what is means to utilize too much or too little of that value. We push into the experiences of that expose the misuse or misunderstanding of the values you currently hold. I can tell you, when we do this exercise, things become remarkably clear to people. It doesn't make things easier but what people need isn't an easy path, they need a path that's clearly defined. If you're struggling, take a deep look at your boundaries. If you don't know how, maybe we should talk. #values #lifecoach #coaching #dylansessler #clearpath #boundaries #boundary #mindset #mindfulness #principles #lifelesson #decisionmaking #decisionmaker #choice #choices (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVaq1RNFn9m/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Stop looking at the past version of yourself like you knew what you were doing. Own it and learn it. Don't let the same mistakes happen again and again. If they do happen again, get out sooner. In the end, never judge yourself for being wrong. You'll waste all your energy on something that you were never meant to comprehend. #dylansessler #DefyTheDarkness #past #present #future #learn #lifelonglearner #learning #stopjudgingyourself #judgment (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUdY8m1lG1V/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I got temporarily banned from posting on tik tok because I posted my text platform number. I could be upset. OR, I could let it be and learn in peace. I don't need to fight the war. I don't need to blow up. It's an unnecessary battle against a machine. An inanimate object will not spark my emotions because it won't change a damn thing. You want peace? Stop fighting meaningless and unnecessary battles. Fight the ones that matter. #dylansessler #peace #balance #fighttherightfight #fightthegoodfight #war #peacequotes #peaceful #chooseyourwar #battle (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUWJzOhlvHY/?utm_medium=tumblr

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You don't have to add the negativity. The guilt, the shame, the self-loathing doesn't need to be attached to questioning whether something is the right choice for you. Even if you've made the decision a thousand times, the question doesn't require the negativity to follow. It's easier said than done though, isn't it? One thing I recommend is that understanding where it came from allows you to become far more self-aware of it. For some, parental emotions and tactics often taught them to "feel" bad for making the choice that failed. The parents determined what was "right" and "wrong" based on their own opinion. If a child tested the "wrong" choice out of a normal curiosity for life, they paid the consequences with how they analyzed right and wrong. The above scenario can be played out in many different relationships even into adulthood. Our concept of right and wrong is a very powerful point of contention within our relationships. If you struggle with adding negativity to questioning yourself, you likely had a relationship that forced you to question your own concept of right and wrong. That may have created a habit that was easier to apply than consciously fighting the feeling that clashed with the authority. When you become more self-aware, you allow yourself the freedom to simply question. It doesn't have to be negative or positive. You can rationally make choices without the added self-judgment. That means less indecision and less stress. Do you want to hear more about this topic? What are your thoughts and experiences? #rightandwrong #negativity #negative #thinking #thinkdifferent #mindset #mentalhealthcoach #mhcoach #selfjudgment #DefyTheDarkness #NoOneFightsAlone #IAmAVoice #InvictusNation #InvictusTribe #DylanSessler (at Brookfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT91Kk4lx8e/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I've given 2 years of my life in the service of making Afghanistan a better place. I met people that believed in that cause and did what they could to change things. I also saw the corruption. I saw soldiers pour their heart and soul into the work they did...that is love. Love is action without expectation. I saw men and women of the US military do and give the best way they could knowing there was nothing they would get in return. That is love. I saw Afghans putting their loves on the line for their nation, not their tribe because they didn't want to be at war anymore. That's love. But sometimes, love cannot exist without a peace that is earned by war. Afghanistan was always a war we could not continue fighting because we weren't the ones who needed to win it. Afghanistan needed to win for itself and maybe it isn't ready or maybe it never will be. What I would tell my brethren who sacrificed in Afghanistan is this: Remember what was given, not how it was received. You each fought with love and devotion for this country or Afghanistan and that is to be remembered. The loss that maybe toted is not ours to bare. The lives lost deserve the glory of knowing they gave them for love and devotion, not for victory or defeat. Honor our lost souls and connect with your brothers and sisters. Reminisce on the faded tales of war and live your life knowing you stood against evil when few would. ~SSG Dylan J. Sessler #afghanistan https://www.instagram.com/p/CSrOd-ZHTpr/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Brand new episode with Chad Miller who will be rowing 3000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean to support Veterans Mental Health in 2022. Would you take up the challenge? Listen in on our conversation and why it's so important to him. You won't be disappointed. Link in bio or check out @the_dylan_experience on all major podcast platforms including YouTube. #TheDylanExperience #DylanSessler #DefyTheDarkness #FightOarDie #oceanrowing #rowing #Podcast #newepisode #veteransmentalhealth #veterans (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR4qSwNH0ie/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Self-awareness doesn't just reveal things about yourself. As you begin to see yourself for who you have had to be, you see how others have left their impact on you. Self-awareness exposes the hard relationships, the negative environments, and the painful truth. People have taught you to be you. When you start being honest you start to realize who really wants you to succeed, overcome, or grow. There are people out there who just want to maintain the status quo and there are those who will adapt and grow with you. Self-awareness is the beginning of a hard journey because it reveals hard truths. Prepare yourself for more than just seeing the hard stuff within yourself but also the hard realities that others have been apart of. Preparation is the key to victory. #DylanSessler #DefyTheDarkness #selfawareness #selfaware #growth #honesty #honest #truth #reality #hardtruth #hardreality #success (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRukGpGnOG6/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Released Episode 14 yesterday with Loison Kast! Listen in on our discussion through my link in bio. Loison is a 20 year WI National Guard Veteran with 2 deployments and is a Life Coach for veterans and first responders alike. Our discussion is raw and we dive into the relatable struggles of 'returning home'. #TheDylanExperience #DylanSessler #DefyTheDarkness #podcasts #podcast #lifecoach #veteran #veterans #newepisode (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRrJ5D9H3qZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I knew 10 years ago that my life wasn't easy. I knew I deserved better. I had quite learned the most important part... That wasn't going to change anything. No one was coming to save me. No one was going to do it for me. No one would get it even if I told them everything. They would see it their way, not mine. I had to own me because no one else knew my life. But I did. Life begins to change when you cross paths with self-awareness and self-realization. You start to get what it really means to have gone through hardship. It's the beginning of creating a real future. It's the beginning of the life you aren't afraid of looking back on. If I had know all that I would become. Maybe I would have welcomed all the hardship that came to me. Maybe I would trust the process. Looking back, I admire the courage of who I used to be just long enough to realize I've become an even greater 4example of what I have attempted to create my whole life: A good man. Potential is only realized by moving forward despite it all. No success nor failure determines what happens next in life. Only you do. #DefyTheDarkness #DylanSessler #NoOneFightsAlone #InvictusNation #InvictusTribe #IAmAVoice #potential #goodman #goodpeople #goodperson#success #failure #selfawareness #selfrealization #nevergiveup #neverquit #life #motivation #inspiration (at Milwaukee, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRmjbTIH-4v/?utm_medium=tumblr