so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown
BREAKFAST

tannertan36
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@ionaonie
so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown
BREAKFAST
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
Does anyone else get pissed off when you wake up just as you were making significant progress in some bullshit task you had to do in a dream? Like great now I did all that shit for nothing
i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is
Thirteen years ago, when he came back to the capital:
I got real petty over on the Facebook page and IT WAS GLORIOUS.
This is me, going to check out Legendary Books now…
Publisher: We think that the way the fantasy genre treats women is problematic so we’re going to try and do better
A Fool: If you don’t like it why don’t you make your own!
Publisher: That
That is literally what we just said we are doing
GUESS WHO’S BACK, BIGOTED FUCKWADS?
BOY it feels good to be back in this particular saddle!
AHAHAHAHAHA we have a winner for today!
*Snort*
@princessjellyfishie
if anybody like me a) lol’d and b) wanted to get my hands on that book series, here’s the link
This is magically what I’m looking for right now.
Hi Legendary Books, I’ll take one of everything.
Happy to oblige!
https://underrealm.net/books
<3
I literally don’t have the space for any more physical books, but I’ve downloaded every Underrealm book on Kindle. I read The Alchemist’s Touch specifically because of this post and I seriously can’t recommend the Underrealm books enough. they are absolutely fantastic.
I don’t really read anymore, not like i used to. And of i get a masters this year like i am planning to then that isn’t going to change. But hell yes I’m going to go and buy these books because THIS is exactly the kind of thing that i want to support!
YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
One day I will have a job and a bank account and I will have money from the job in the bank account and I will use some of the money to purchase these books
Hey did you
did you know
did you know we have a podcast now and you can literally listen to the books for free.
(You probably didn’t. That’s okay because it’s very new).
It’s slower than buying and reading them, but it’s great if you have no book budget but you do have some listening time!
The Nightblade Epic Podcast is an audio presentation of the #1 Amazon bestselling series. Narrated by Garrett Robinson, and hosted by Meghan
You could also beg your local library to get them. Just saying.
Asking your library to stock a book for you to read is one of the most helpful things you can possibly do for an author.
Happy Pride, y'all!
Things that work in fiction but not real life
torture getting reliable information out of people
knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
calling the police to deescalate a situation
rafting your way off a desert island
correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
heterosexual cowboy
This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.
I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.
Salute to our troops (70s careerwomen who put their hard-earned dollars into homemade gay erotica)
It was women with secretarial jobs doing a lot of the heavy lifting, if memory serves correctly.
They had training in type setting, could churn things out quickly, knew how to organise mailing lists, and had easy access to Expensive High Tech like photocopiers.
Boss make a dollar, she makes a dime. That's why she's printing Kirk X Spock zines on company time.
Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite
#the only reason she gets this job is bc he doesnt trust her anywhere else in the palace#its like enrichment for manipulative girls#also so that he can set her on asshole deligates like a rabid little lapdog#she just has mean fuckin pomeranian energy that thing bites then lights you on fire w flames so hot theyre cold#i think their sibling dynamic could be sooo fucking funny its insane (@madscientistenthusiast)
Zuko doesn't like instilling fear in people as the Fire Lord because it makes him feel too much like Ozai but sometimes motherfuckers NEED to be rattled so they don't try anything. Which is where Azula comes in. It's a win/win for everyone except for the poor sucker Azula has set her sights on
If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.
Employee-customer solidarity
Even if they don't- Your review can be the thing that wrecks someone up accidentally;
"Janie was so helpful when I wanted to buy a new washing machine on Friday, she stayed with me for half an hour and wasn't pushy at all, we had a good laugh about our cats' silly antics and she got Adam and Suzy to carry it to the car for me- 10/10 excellent service, I'd come back any day!"
-But Management has a policy that workers should spend no more than 10 focused minutes on any customer at a time, and that they should always try to upsell the insurance and the higher price model, so Janie was breaking policy.
-And they aren't supposed to have their phones on the sales floor, so now Janie is going to be quizzed on whether she was showing photos of her cat to a customer.
-Adam is a warehouse worker and shouldn't have been in the front-of-house at all, Suzy is a porter, and store policy is both to use a trolley to move heavy items, and that only the porters should do it, so now Janie is in trouble for pulling Adam off-task, Adam is in trouble for walking through the shop floor, and Suzy is in trouble for poor handling procedure. Maybe the store even has a paid delivery service that Janie was supposed to upsell as soon as you said "I can't put this in my car without help", so this was all against policy.
Your review should always be as bland as possible, "10/10, five star service, will shop here again, thank you to Janie at the Town Street branch" You NEVER know what was technically a rule-break, capitalism is not your friend, the review process is part of the panopticon.
FIVE STARS, TEN OUT OF TEN, VERY GOOD, NOTHING MORE.
One of the best shot of Total Solar Eclipse from 08-04-2024.
Via @nasa-official
if I say "I have to Austin Powers my car out of a parking space," do you understand what i mean
like this?
#2, Brute?
Please don’t pay for his music.
also don’t listen to it, it’s extremely bad
He’s wanting to do this to his home:
He submitted the proposal to the Kensington and Chelsea Borough Council and the plan was rejected because the proposed four-foot-high railings (fence) and simple cast iron gate (which was chosen purely privacy and security for the front of the home) were considered “too domestic” looking for the former industrial area. The council gave Sheeran a list of options for privacy “railings”, and after changing the proposal Sheeran was given permission that was more in line with the neighbourhood, which is in a conservation area. A direct quote from Sheeran states: “Dear Natalie Edwards from The Sun newspaper. Your story is bollocks, I have done lots of work in the past for Crisis and Shelter and would never build railings outside my home for that reason.The reason was to keep the paps that you employ from being on my doorstep. Have a good day.” this comment has been substantiated by the local police and security companies that Sheeran and his neighbours have had to contact previously when paparazzi have been taking photographs not only of Sheeran’s house but inside his windows, and constantly knocking on his door and yelling outside his house. Think about this for a moment, a guy bought a house and fixed it up, he was trying to gain some privacy by asking for a simple fence and gate to indicate the property line and gain some distance from the paps, - which the police and council said was fine - and the newspapers who can no longer use these ill-gotten photos and are probably pissed have managed to spin this story to make it seem that this guy (whether you like his music or not), is an asshole and is anti-homeless. And you’re all eating this shit up and believing the newspapers, even though the Sun and Telegraph are well known across the UK for making shit up and lying. smh.
I don’t care about Ed Sheeran, but this is an exercise in media literacy
DENTAL PLAN!
LISA NEEDS BRACES!
DENTAL PLAN!
the Ides of March grows near