this is not your playground, it's my heart

Kat. Geek. Political Scientist. 900 years old in tumblr years. My Work on AO3

[ath3alin]

so fucking humbling to be like “no I like that character a normal amount” and then you can literally feel your heart rate spike at a mention of them like a dog that just heard the word “treat”

[cursed-40k-thoughts]

[i-suggest-piracy]

i have a suggestion

[cornpopwasframed]

Fuck that just think of the 4 to 5 Grand GPUs and RAM sticks!!!!! So fuck YES to the Piracy Suggestion!

GAMERS AT THE READY!!!!

[anarchistmemedistro]

[isuggestforceyum]

@isuggesteatingtherich

[isuggesteatingtherich]

i have a suggestion

[eerieeccentrix]

[fic-dumpster]

[dogpuppy]

[my-friends-call-me-mcsad]

[vltima]

a number of years ago when I was at Boy Scout Camp, someone shared this bit of trivia. Within days, it had become a competition, the entire camp overrun by elbow licking. See, the thing about it is, if you're aware of the licker, you can feel it. But if you don't know someone is doing it, you legitimately cannot feel the lick. So for the rest of the week, you'd spot kids sneaking up on each other, attempting to lick elbows unnoticed. It was wild.

[karis-the-fangirl]

When my younger siblings were still 11 and 8, our family stayed in a couple of cabins with four other families who had kids in the same age group. So there were a dozen or so kids running around living their best feral lives, and licking elbows became The Activity—double prestige if you licked an adult’s elbow.

So that’s why a bunch of parents rubbed jalapeño juice on their elbows

…and why our family still says ‘these elbows are spicy!! You have to sniff them first!’

[creekfiend]

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

[maja-paja]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

uppies-seeking behavior

[olicrosse]

[cephalopodvictorious]

fixed it

[star-thief]

[prokopetz]

"Toxic yuri" is a very context-dependent term because half the people using it are clearly picturing some sort of subtle psychological warfare and the other half seem to be describing the girl version of whatever is going on between Batman and the Joker.

[valtsv]

me: BRING OUT THE DEATH RAY!!!

*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*

[valtsv]

captive hero: aww!

me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man's heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!

stingray: *nudges my hand*

me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i'm trying to be intimidating here.

[valtsv]

you will

[mihai-florescu]

"Are you more of a family or career oriented person?" Babygirl im a bed oriented person. Snork mimimi

[niyarest]

[whatthekoi-deactivated20260510]

big loud incorrect buzzer noise that plays after every social interaction i have

[draconym]

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

[draconym]

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[redstonedust]

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

[local-gun-witch]