tony: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch
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@ir0npvrker
tony: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch
peter: costumes are wasted on halloween. i wanna sit down for christmas dinner dressed like a giant bug
peter: i have a complicated relationship with zombies. they’re dangerous, but i love their swagger
wade: you’re so mean >:c
logan: if you weren’t so fucking stupid, i wouldn’t have to be so fucking mean. change starts with you
wade:
logan: i’m sorry
steve: fine, i’m afraid of clowns, there i said it
sam: then why the fuck do you hang out with bucky so much
peter on his first avengers mission: what’s the signal when something goes wrong?
tony: we yell “oh shit”
peter:
peter: yeah, that will work
yelena: i would take a bullet for mac & cheese
kate: who the fuck would shoot a bowl of mac & cheese
bucky: stop correcting me
sam: stop being wrong
tony: how long do you think it will take you to do this?
peter: i don’t know, probably three or four
tony: …three or four what? days? weeks? months?
peter: yeah, maybe five
tony: FIVE WHAT?
peter: when you're trying to have a lit summer but only have three friends
ned:
ned: one friend
ned: i’m that one friend
pepper: has anyone ever told you they loved you?
tony: does my father count?
pepper: yeah
tony: then no
villain: is this the part where you tell me that if i hurt him you’ll kill me?
bucky: no. sam is perfectly capable of killing you himself. but i’ll happily watch
peter: here’s my award for the most rules broken
ned: that’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from mr. stark
peter, hanging it on his wall: well, it has the word “most” in it so i’m calling it an award!
steve: it would help if you two showed up looking like a loving, supportive team
sam: for how long?
steve: ten minutes, tops
sam:
bucky:
bucky: can you get it down to five?
peggy: wow, you’re so brave! you didn’t even hesitate to throw yourself into danger!
steve: that's because i have no regard for my own personal safety. you can ask bucky
bucky: i have never been more stressed in my life
peter: i made a marshmallow mr stark. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at marshmallow peter for annoying him. you like it?
tony, choked-up: it’s fine
tony: i wanna sleep for 50 hours
rhodey: you know that’s called a coma, right?
tony:
tony: that sounds so refreshing, i could go for a light coma right now