Because I have no impulse control, this answer by Neil Gaiman inspired me to start writing a Dramione one-shot. Hopefully I finish it in the next week and post the whole thing, but for now, here is an excerpt.
âYouâyouâwhat?â she finally choked out.
âI have been trying to seduce you,â Draco said again in a flat, resigned voice and wondered if he should write it on a board or perhaps print it into a book for her. Heâd already said it a half dozen times and if she continued to not understand he would probably feel obliged to jump off a bridge somewhere.
âHow was I supposed to know that?â she said in a shrill voice.
He stared at her, stunned.
âWhat did you think was going on?â he said in bafflement.
âI donât know,â she said in wobbling voice, setting her wine glass down and fluttering her hands around in a way that she tended to when she was at a loss for words. âNormallyâboys just tell me Iâm pretty and then try to kiss me, or they ask me to accompany them to balls and ministry events. They donât start book clubs and buy townhouses and invite me to cook dinner with them and set up spare bedrooms.â She gestured up toward the ceiling but then her hands abruptly shot down and she gripped the edge of the counter, looking as though she were on the verge of toppling off of it. âDid you expect me to assume I was special? For all I know you do the same things with all your friends.â
Were his hands shaking? Yes. It appeared that they were shaking from frustration.
âYes, Hermione. On Thursday nights I have Blaise over for my other book club and we cook dinner and waltz together in my kitchen and then drink wine and I hand feed him chocolates too,â Draco said in a voice that dripped sarcasm. âAnd then, when Iâm not spending my weekends with you I instead take Pansy to vineyards and we go horseback riding together at sunset.â
Hermione turned bright red.
âIâm notâIâm not good at noticing things like that,â she finally said in a very small voice. âFlirting. I always miss the cues when it comes to flirting.â
âYes. Iâve realized that now,â Draco said, thinking back upon how pointedly he had always refrained from ever actually stating any level of interest because heâd feared it would be too much and might pressure her. Heâd assumed that she would be assuming his interest. That at some point, if he were patient enough, sheâd initiate some type of physical reciprocity and then he could go from there, confident that she was comfortable with it.
âSo, just to be clear. Since tonight is all about finally being clear. Iâm assuming that since it never so much as crossed your mind that I was trying to seduce you, that means that you are not interested,â he said in a wooden voice and started a mental checklist. One, get drunk. Two, stay drunk. Three, sell the townhouse. Four, move to Africa. Five, stay in Africa.
âIâmâinterested.â
He blinked and stared at her in astonishment.
âIâm still wrapping my mind around all this,â she said, blushing and fidgeting with her apron hem, âbut Iâmâinterested. If youâif youâre still interested. Iâd like to try again, now that I know whatâs going on. Maybe not tonight. I think Iâm going into shock currently. But maybe next week, we couldâtry and see. Now that I know.â
Draco stared at her dazedly and she gave him a small, nervous smile.
âNext week?â he repeated.
âIs thatâdoes that work for you? Toâto seduce me then?â
He nodded slowly. âI can make room for it. Definitely. Same time? Iâll cook.â
âAlright,â Hermione said bobbing her head. Her cheeks were still stained scarlet. âIâllâIâll look forward to it.â Her eyes widened with embarrassment. âI meanâI mean, Iâll see you then. I shouldâI think I need toâto go.â
