In Summary: Dragon’s Dogma and Why am I the Errand Bitch?
So they sent me to retrieve some valuable ring. Like its somehow both valuable and important for the royalty or some shit but it has absolutely nothing to do with the plot.
And of course I have to do all the footwork in finding who and what and why and track the bastard down because you just can’t expect nobles to speak with the peasantry. Literally, all of the answers are a 10 minute jog out their door but fuck that. You can’t trust the peasants, they’re too poor.
So it was some former wizard advisor whatever who went crazy and killed a bunch of people. Some revelation and he killed all of his colleagues or something.
Now, I believe he stole it because the castle has like, no fucking security. Skyrim has better security than this game. A crazy wizard that killed a bunch of people would have no trouble getting through it.
So I chase after him to the quarry and the dudes like, 'I can't believe the person who's in charge of safeguarding this world from disaster has the time to deal with retrieving a ring.'
And I'm like, 'Hey, I've been looking for the plot device dragon for like 40 hours dude. Don't bitch to me about what my main quests are although you do have an excellent point this is some bullshit.'
Which sounds suspiciously like '....' from Tal the Arisen, coupled with vaguely vacant surprise as always.
So he throws his goons at me. All five human goons. And I am so madly over-leveled that whack a mole would have been more of a challenge. The most difficult part was the game refusing to give me the last point of health on the sorcerer cause he had plot armor and all the other dudes had to die first.
Super-special-cutscene-escape-away-GO, and I have to go back and report and investigate this bastards whereabouts again.
Local townsfolk just immediately know where he’s set up shop and then I follow him to the dark souls tower I was just at for dealing with a griffin.
And he has apparently hired more goons. So many of them. All of them archers who wait on rafters and other bullshit so this has actually tried to go full dark souls bullshit. So I get to lament my choice of going back to levelling fighter class cause assassin at least has a bow and I could outsnipe.
Shrug, proceed to murder a path back up the tower hiding behind my shield.
Reach sorcerer/wizard whatever with like, seven arrows in my chest. Good thing I don't have a heart cause a dragon ate it, lol.
Engage sorcerer. Who teleports. I mean he never stops teleporting when I get close to him. Apparently you can't fight him as a melee class.
He just rezzes skeletons that I obliterate and continue chasing after him while main pawn Nao charges up his sorcerer lasers.
Stop harassing enemy sorcerer in time for enemy sorcerer to get blown up by Nao.
'Go team sociopaths' Highfive main pawn.
Cutscene of sorcerer/wizard/jerkass falling off tower. Somehow losing ring in process so it lands quite safely on the ground. Yells about the ring as he falls because he is an obsessed psychopath. Shit seems familiar but I suppose my tiny healer counts as a halfling and not a hobbit.
Pawns keep chattering that we need to return the ring.
Vaguely remember enemy sorcerer spouting some bullshit about ultimate power magic something as he kept teleporting away from my sword.
Decide that there's a forgery shop for a reason.
Wait day to get ring forged because it boosts the cast times of whatever person's inventory it’s in. Give that shit to Main Pawn Sorcerer Extraordinaire Nao.
Hand over forgery. No one has realized it yet.
Apparently there's consequences later that won't give me items cause the ring is needed to open some treasury box.
So the Duke will have the forgery and won't be able to open the box.
IDGAF cause I can just steal it on my own if it’s so important. I don't need charity from a punk ass duke.
And given he can't even remember I was there to either steal from or frolic with his new wife, I'm not really concerned.
Especially cause I already know what he did that fucking liar and I don’t take much stock from a wife beater.
In Summary: Ring is apparently so damn important you had to send the one person who can save the world after some deranged wizard to retrieve it instead of, I dunno, having them do their world saving thing. This could literally have been prevented by heightening security or at least remembering your homicidal former wizard advisors and posting a wanted sign next to your castle guards.
Fuck the Duke, he doesn’t deserve this ring of 10% reduced cast time. Take your petty forgery back to your throne of wife-beating lies you prick.
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