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if you’re human, you’re gonna love this blog.
Wouldn't be, by any chance, related to this woman?
So I should be studying...
but instead I find myself here, and on facebook and twitter talking to people. It's this stupid Leaving Certificate thing, which is, for any of my followers who aren't Irish, the biggest exam in an Irish student's life and pretty much determines your entire future. I'm getting really stressed over because I've set myself these really high standards and I'm working hard, but I still feel like I'm not doing enough. And what the worst thing about the Leaving Cert is, is that it's taken over pretty much my entire life. Sure I have my Facebook, but other than that my life has been pretty much eat, sleep and study. There's piles of books in my room waiting to be read, a sketchbook and pencils just SITTING there waiting to be experimented with but I can't use them. I know if I get into something like a good book I'll end up getting drawn right in, and by the time I manage to pull myself out It'll be 3-4 hours later and I'll have an anxiety attack because I'm not studying enough. Maybe anxiety attack is a bit OTT in terms of describing it, but I do get very worried and end up feeling worse that I already do. My Tumblr's been sitting here without any posts, 96 followers waiting patiently for something but there's nothing because my entire life has suddenly become preoccupied with this massive exam, and I want to post stuff, I do. But I can't...
And even worse than that is the degradation of my social life. My best friend, who I've never had an argument with, is pissed off and possibly not even talking to me now because I made a stupid mistake and I'm not talking to him anywhere near as much as I should.
It's about 2 and 1/2 weeks until this is over with, and I can enjoy my life again. I just hope now that damage that is/going to be made in the next few weeks can either be repaired or just doesn't happen, because at the end of it all I just want to have fun and be with my friends and be a teenager... for my last year before I leave for college and become an adult.
One Day in August - Chapter 5
That morning I woke up, and I had completely forgotten about everything that happened the day and night before. I opened my eyes, and expected to see the bland white colour of my apartment ceiling, and then, turning over, to see my digital alarm clock telling me what time it is. Instead, I was greeted with the fluttering blue material of the tent as it flapped in the wind, and turning over I could see Karkos sleeping on the other bedroll on the other side of the tent. I realized everyone else was still asleep, so I lay in bed for a little while and went over what happened; the forest, meeting Karkos and Ingenia, the stars, Welbret, magic, The Circle, The Ceremony of Ascension… all of it came flooding back and as it did I couldn’t help but smile. I was already starting my own personal little adventure, and today I was going to be learning how to wield magic. But then I remember what Karkos had explained to me; it was a mentally taxing, exhausting process, and again I already felt the pressure, even more so than yesterday. As much as I was looking forward to learning how to use magic, I was already balking at the idea of failing.
Unable to go back to sleep as usual, I quietly slipped out of the covers and put my shoes back on, silently pulling back the canvas door of the tent and walking out into the fresh air of the Cliffside. Last night there wasn’t a whole lot visible, some of the taller trees rose up over the horizon, but due to combination of the darkness and my bad-eyesight (I had just remembered that I never brought my glasses) I couldn’t see very far. Now however the entire view was spread out before me and it was spectacular: In the clear blue sky, a bald eagle spread its wings and flew majestically over the entire scene, nonchalantly drifting on the crest of the breeze. Below it, a vast forest, larger that I had ever seen back in Earth, went right over the horizon; accept directly ahead, where, about a mile away, a large lake was visible in the distance. The sun rose triumphantly over the lake, and even in the distance you could see it the light of the morning sun playing on the flowing surface of the water. To the left a large mountain range reared high up into the sky, and all along it a stone path had been carved, either through natural forces or by magic, right over the forest and towards the north assumingly towards the Sanctum. Seeing the huge scene before me just made me want to shout and hear my voice echo out over the entirety of the world, but knowing Karkos and the rest were still asleep I managed to restrain myself, and found myself content to sit out over the forest on the edge of the cliff. When I was sitting there, still really unable to comprehend what’s been happening, still unable to wrap my head around everything, I could help but feel immensely happy. I always liked change, embraced and went along with it, but back on Earth there was never any change; it was constantly static, the world constantly rotating and completing the same cycle over and over again. Secretly I wished for the collapse that society said was so imminent, at least then perhaps we would get the change that, something which I think a lot of people needed in order to open their eyes in order to recognize how messed up everything really is. I never really spoke about it with anyone, I didn’t want to sound like some kind of socialist, communist weirdo who constantly complains about how “the system is messed up, maaaan” but that’s just how I felt. To finally get away from it all know brought such a sense of relief, a sense of possibility. Here anything was truly possible, and all you needed to do was reach and grasp it.
“Nervous about today?” A voice asked, from behind me. I was a little bit frightened, but thankfully didn’t fall off the cliff. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”. I looked behind me and Welbret was there, no longer dressed in his black cloak. Instead he was dressed in a simple pair of trousers and a white, tunic-like shirt.
I laughed. “It’s fine, Welbret, don’t worry” I smiled, and stood up. “What’s with the white tunic-like thing you’re wearing?”
He looked down at his shirt. “This?” He said, grabbing the shirt with index finger and thumb, “Oh, I know it’s a bit weird but trust me you’ll get used to it. It’s the style here in Aetheria, for some reason. If I knew how to make clothes myself I’d make something that suited my style a little bit more, but unfortunately I don’t so I’ll just have to make do.”
“Didn’t you pack any clothes before you left with Karkos?” I asked.
“No, I really just took a spur of the moment, trust your guts and go with it decision. There wasn’t a lot of thinking involved,” He explained, “But I still think it was the best decision of my life. Sometimes in retrospect I look back and think ‘oh, I should have brought this, or I should have brought that’ but mostly I’m happy with my decision. Here I’m much happier. Life here is so much more rewarding and inspiring, y’know?”
“Hmm, I get you…” He was certainly right. I was here for all but a day and I still feel happier than I pretty much ever did while I was at home.
“So are you worried about today?” He asked, “Y’know, because of the Ceremony of Ascension?”
I sighed. “Yeah, I am. I have no idea what to do… I’m really scared about missing my chance or something, and I’m going to end up as looking like a failure in some way to everyone.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“Have you ever had an operation?”
That was a strange question to ask. I was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with the conversation we were having, but I answered it anyway out of politeness.
“Uh, yeah…I have. Why?”
He laughed. “I know that might seem like a strange question, but trust me I’m getting to that,” He explained. “So if you’ve had an operation, you understand what it’s like to be put under, right?” I nodded. “Good, so imagine you’re going in for an operation, and the doctors have somehow managed to develop a machine that allowed you to stay awake while you were dreaming under aesthetic, and you were able to do whatever you wanted in the dream. Have you ever heard of the concept before?”
Strangely enough I had. I remember interviewing yet another band member about where they got their inspiration from, and they explained to me that they got their ideas through a process he described as ‘lucid dreaming’. He said it was basically remaining conscious while still dreaming, and controlling the dream to the extent that you’re pretty much god. This band was really ‘out-there’, and hippy-like, so I completely disregarded it as some stoner bullshit. This sounded quite a bit what that guy was talking about though. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it before. Is it called lucid dreaming?”
His eyes lit up. “Exactly! That’s exactly what it is! I remember when I was still trying to get my job as an accountant the idea of lucid dreaming was only really starting to break out into the mainstream, and people were looking at it a bit funny as if to say it sounded like something junkies or stoners would do. But it’s quite real, I assure you.”
“So what as this got to do with doctors and the Ceremony of Ascension?”
“I’m getting there, don’t worry! So yeah, again, imagine you’re going in for an operation, but instead of the doctors it’s The Circle who's operating on you, and they use their magic to put you under and keep you awake while you’re dreaming. That’s what the Ceremony of Ascension is.”
I was a bit confused. Karkos said it was much more exhausting than that. “Wait, hold up. I thought this whole thing was supposed to be really tiring?”
“Oh it is, mentally. See, something I didn’t realize about the lucid dreaming phenomenon, and something I don’t think anyone has really realized up to this day, is that through the entire process, you can literally speak with your subconscious.”
As soon as I said that I wanted to do it straight away. I immediately thought it was an opportunity to speak with whatever it was that slept within me. And I knew it slept there. It was always there, waiting to come out, but I could never find a way. Was that what the magic was, that presence that I always felt inside of me waiting to be released? Is that what the Ceremony of Ascension was, to finally free that which I knew slept within? “Wow…that’s…that’s amazing.” I was truly at a loss for words.
“I know, right? It’s an amazing experience for the most part, but it takes a quite a bit of an ordeal to get there—have you ever felt that it’s there’s something holding you back, something within you inhibiting you from truly reaching your true potential?”
It was true. I never really knew what it was that literally held me back, but I suspected that there was also something inside me, something malevolent, which prevented me coming into contact with my potential. “…Yeah, I think I understand.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s your Shadow. You need to get it out of the way in order to reach your potential. You need to metaphorically battle with your own personal demons in order to come into contact with the magical part of your psyche.”
Now I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do it anymore. Battling with inner demons? I was never a fighter. I remember, late at night, between 2am and 3am at night, during the times I used to walk out into the city, all of the sounds of the city seemed to suspicious melt away into silence. It was there, during the time, when I truly became aware of the battle that was raging in me, when my personal demons were at their loudest and when I came closest to being them. It was a struggle to repress them. I gulped “And if I lose this battle? If my personal demons win?”
“Then you remain trapped in your mind. Forever”
My heart literally skipped a beat.
“Trapped in my mind!? Welbret, I—I can’t do this! I didn’t know so many risks were involved. I didn’t know I was possibly going to end up stuck in my own head for—for god knows how long!” I was starting to panic, frantically looking around for something that would help, but of course there was nothing. I wasn’t like I could run away, I didn’t know where I was going or what was out there, and I was completely defenceless. If I came into contact with one of the predators Karkos talked about, I’d be as good as dead.
“Harlow, calm down, it’s okay! Please, relax, breathe, its okay, it’s not that bad,” He grabbed hold of my shoulders. “Listen, no one has ever, and I mean ever, fallen to that fate. Even someone like me, the awkward accountant with no friends, was able to get passed it! It’s scary, I’m not going to lie, and it’s not a walk through the park, but trust me, you’ll be fine.”
I took a deep breath and relaxed for a minute. Take a chance to sit down and analyse the options and the pros and cons of each choice; I can face the Ceremony of Ascension and my inner demons, and probably come out triumphant with new power, or I could be a coward and run away. I could end up being permanently boxed into my own head if I end up failing, or I could come away with a new control over magic. I could run away, and probably survive in the wilderness with nothing to defend myself. Probably. “What other options do I have?”
“Well, as far as I know if someone changes their mind before they take the Ceremony of Ascension, they can be returned back to the normal world, but their memory of everything, The Circle, Aetheria, The Ceremony, Magic, will all be erased and they’ll simply wake up one morning and continue with their lives. But that’s as far as options go, unfortunately” He sighed.
Well, I had come this far I suppose. There was no point coming all the way out here only to ask them to go back again. Regardless, there was no way I was going to go back to all that after seeing what this world had to offer. I had to at least try, and if I get trapped in my mind, I at least I know I gave it the best I could.
“Okay,” I sighed, “I’ll do it. I have no choice.”
“Is everything okay over there?” Came a voice by the tents. It was Karkos; he’d gotten dressed in his usual black cloak and emerged from the blue tent. I didn’t even notice.
“Yeah, everything’s fine, we’re okay” I called back.
“Good. You two better start getting ready, we’re leaving fairly soon.” He turned back to the tent and started rummaging inside it, getting things ready for the journey.
Welbret took a step back from me. “I guess that’s my cue to get my stuff together. Listen, like you said last night, we’re in this together; we can help each other through this. I’m here if you need to me”
I smiled at him “Thanks, Welbret, I’ll keep that in mind”
He moved into his tent to back his things, and it wasn’t long before Ingenia emerged from her tent, alone, raising her hands above her head in a massive yawn. I walked over to her. “Ingenia, Karkos said we need to pa-“
“I heard him, Harlow” She replied, cutting me short. “I’m getting my things ready now.”
She was really starting to annoy me. Maybe her shortness last night could have been put down to tiredness, but here she was now after just getting a good night’s sleep. It wasn’t going to be much longer before I snapped. “Okay, Ingenia, whatever.” I walked away and left her too it, but now with no one to talk to, I realized I had nothing to do. I had nothing to pack, nothing I needed to bring with me. I still had my iPod in my pocket (I couldn’t bring myself to throw it off the cliff) so I popped one of the earphones in and listened to some music. I noticed Welbret was struggling with packing up the tent also, so I decided to go over and help him. Soon enough we had it rolled and ready to carry and he threw it, along with a bag over his shoulder. We quickly got rid of the vestiges of the campfire we had last night, and we soon set off. It was one thing seeing the scenery from a high view point, but seeing it in motion was quiet another; plants and animals, seen vaguely familiar and some completely outlandish, were seen on the path to the Sanctum.
“That’s a Chaemise Plant,” explained Welbret, after I pointed out a long, green vine dangling from the dense canopy ending in a small purple flower. “It dangles from the canopy and attracts small insects like flies, yeah; we have them here too, to the flower. But then get this, the petals on the flower will close and actually eat anything small enough as soon as it touches the petals, like an inverted Venus fly-trap, and absorb the nutrients. Then those nutrients will pass up throw the fine and will help provide the leaves in the canopy with vital minerals and nutrients.”
“Wow, that’s insane. Would they ever eat people?”
He shook his head “I don’t think so. I’ve never head a Chaemise growing large enough to swallow an entire person whole, but I’ve heard of stranger things happening. Karkos or Juno would be the people to ask about that.”
That’s when I remembered that I recognized where Welbret was from. “Oh, Welbret, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Did you live in New York when you were back on Earth?”
“Yeah, why”
“Because I think I actually remember seeing missing person posters being put up around my area around 4 months ago.”
With that he slowed down his pace and began to think a little bit. “I guess I’m not surprised, but it’s a strange feeling knowing people are looking for you. Maybe I should have thought about family before I left, but like I said I just made a snap decision. There’s nothing that can be done about it now.”
I wondered if my family would do the same for me. How long would it take for them to find out I was gone? A week? Two? A month? I did live alone, I didn’t keep in contact with family, and it’s not like I had very many responsibilities to take care of considering I lost my job. Maybe Mr Mason would have a change of heart and try to re-hire me, finding out that I’ve disappeared? “Do you ever miss anyone back on Earth, Welbret? Girlfriends, family?”
“Surprising not, no,” he said with a sigh, “I never really had a stable girlfriend, and me and my family weren’t on speaking terms by the time I left. To be honest I was happy to disassociate myself from them. There are a lot of memories there that I’d rather not have to bring back up, and they’re all to do with them.”
I nodded. “I see, that’s fine.”. From there the conversation pretty much ended, so I got my iPod and turned my music back on to admire the scenery again.
“Harlow, what’s that in your ear?” I turned around and seen Karkos staring intently at my ear. Everyone had stopped, I assumed by his command, and were looking at me.
“It’s an iPod, you’ve never seen one before?”
He looked confused. “No, I’ve never even heard of it before, what is it?”
“It’s a small device which allows you to digitally carry around music,” Ingenia explained, “they’re quite useful.”
“So it’s from the technological world?” He said. I nodded. “I don’t trust it.” He turned to Welbret. “Does it harm the environment?”
“No, not really. Not that I know off.”
“Then you may keep it,” He said, “I’m sorry if I alarmed you, it’s been a long time since I was in the technological world, and I’ve learned that it changes quite a lot while you’re gone.” We continued walking down the path. “It must be nearly 30 years now since Juno and the rest found me. She didn’t have grey hair then, she was in her mid-30’s herself at the time, and it was literally the day I had turned 18. I was an orphan, my parents dying in a fire at our home when I was 2 years old. Strangely enough both of my parents were only children, and their parents had died in the years previous, so I had nowhere to go. I ended up growing with other orphaned or abandoned children in an orphanage, but I was never able to get close to anyone. I never made friends and always kept to myself, and for the most part I was left alone. Left to myself all the time I became a very quiet, thought-filled individual, and eventually I started becoming disappointed with life. Like everyone here I felt something more to it which I couldn’t access, but could never exactly pin-point what it was. Thankfully, my potential was recognized, and word was sent that I had what was required to use magic. It was my 18th birthday, and like all the other ones people had forgotten about it, or least didn’t bother acknowledging it. I went to the beach that night, like most other nights when I needed to think, to be alone. It was pretty late, and I was just about to leave, when I noticed someone standing at the shore near to where I sat. They were staring out at the ocean, and their black cloak was billowing in the wind, the lapels catching in the breezing and fluttering in the air. I approached them, something told me to, when they spoke:
“Do you like the ocean?’
“Yeah…it’s quite calming and serene. I like staring out and imagining what’s out there. Even though we already know I suppose.”
“In a world quickly becoming full with satellite technology, every scrap of sea, sky and water is being digitally recorded. It leaves no room for imagination, no room for mystery to exist. Still, staring out at the ocean it feels as though there is a vestige of it left. Does the ocean ever speak to you?”
“I guess it does, in a way. Like you said, it feels like you can pretend that there’s still something there”
“Well what you think if I said I could bring you somewhere you didn’t have to pretend anymore? Where what you’ve been searching for right up until this moment can be given to you?”
“I say bring me there.”
Then they pulled back their hood, and introduced themselves as Juno, Messenger of the Circle. She explained to me everything about Aetheria, and magic, everything. I was intoxicated. I remember that she had flaxen blonde hair back then, but you could tell she was going on in years. After she finished telling me about Aetheria, she held out her hand.
“This magical world, Aetheria, is right there for you to see. All you need do is take my hand, and I can bring you there.”
And then I took her hand, she smiled, and we were gone.”
Karkos finished his story just as we came to crossroads as the sun set. In the middle, diverged as the roads were, was a signpost, the pale-wood plunged into the soil. To the right the road descended down into a valley, trees covering each side of the slope, and nestled into the middle, off a significant way into the distance, was a small village of stone and wooden huts. Smoke came from different chimneys of the houses, and in the middle of the village a small square with a stone fountain could be seen, with merchants packing up their wares after a long day of sales. The name “Esterline” was carved into the wooden panel which pointed in the town’s direction, done somewhat crudely with what seemed to be a knife. On the left however, the pathway done the opposite, rising up into towards the top of the valley where stone peaks reared up in sharp summits, the path winding behind them on a long, twisting trail. The name on the signpost read “The Sanctum” and it was done much more elegantly, the letters on the wood carved much more gracefully, done perhaps by magic.
Karkos took a quick glance at the sun’s position in the sky. “At this rate, we’re going to have to postpone the Ceremony until tomorrow.”
I didn’t mind the possibility of delaying the Ceremony, it gave me more time to mentally prepare and wrap my head around it. The prospect of being eternally lost within your own thoughts isn’t really a nice one.
Welbret leaned in beside me and whispered. “Don’t worry, it’s too late. You have until tomorrow.”
“Thanks”. I swallowed back my fear. Little consolation, I suppose, but consolation none-the-less.
“C’mon,” Karkos signalled to me and Welbret, “We’re heading this way” He started walking up the path towards the peaks, and we both followed in earnest. As we climbed, I could feel my ears popping; I guessed we were pretty high up. We followed the winding trail through the mountains, and once again we found ourselves surveying a vast scene once we passed through onto the other side. The land on the other side of the mountains was replaced with a vast sea, the dull roar reaching them up even here as the waves relentlessly threw themselves at the admonitory cliffs. Magic seemed to once again have a part in the formation of the pathway to the Sanctum, the stone hewn out through the mountain in direct passage to the Sanctum of the Circle.
Night when we finally reached the fortress, if you would call it that. It seemed part of the mountains itself, the massive stone walls towering up the massive heights, as big as, if not bigger, than some of the skyscrapers back home. The stars were out again, and beneath it this massive fortress of sheer rock was made visible in the silver light of the huge moon, its gargantuan proportions seated in a throne of stone. Monstrous black doors stood over our company in the flickering light of the torches set in the wall, and at the side, hanging over the ocean, wide windows were set into the face of the structure, letting in glittering streams of moonlight sparkle on the different rooms of the Sanctum. It was bigger than I even imagined.
“Welcome Home, Harlow” Karkos said, with a dark smile.
Patrick Wolf - Hard Times
"Electro pop + classical instruments + melted butter voice + wolf = of course you like it, who wouldn't?" -My friend: http://memyselfandohmy.tumblr.com/
One Day in August - Chapter 4
At first I felt, and saw, nothing but darkness. I was floating, conscious and alive, in oblivion, for what seemed like a while. Strange echoes came to me from the blackness, voices perhaps, or just figments of my imagination. There was nothing but me in a vast expanse of emptiness, but then suddenly, from the nothingness, I was asked to open my eyes.
The first thing I seen were stars, thousands of them spread out in the piano black of night. When I say stars though, I mean stars; in the city they’re non-existent, light pollution causing them to die out and choke from the smog. Driving far from the city sometimes you’d get a nice view, much more visible somewhere where there wasn’t as much light. But I had never seen stars like this. Nebulae and constellations revealed themselves in the darkness, casting a spectacular canvas of purple, red, yellow and pink over the contrast of black. Countless stars, thousands, even millions, were set in the hollow, echoing beauty of space, sparking like precious diamonds. As I lay there on my back, barely conscious, I imagined them propelled by some mysterious godly dynamo, the heavens rotating ever so slowly in a magnificent display of natural beauty. I was completely and utterly captivated. I always wanted to reach and touch them, connect in some way with the awe-inspiring magnificence of space, and it was here that I felt closer than ever. I felt like I was floating through space with them all, marvelling at their near incomprehensible radiance. What caught me most, what seized my senses and pulled them towards it as soon as it came into view, was the moon. I remember reading somewhere, maybe a year ago, about how the moon was approximately 230000 miles away. Here though, it loomed over the horizon like a silver luminary giant, eclipsing half of the night sky with its massive size. Beneath it, a huge expanse of forestry spread out for what seemed forever, the glimmering moonlight illuminating patches of the dark forest where it slipped through the canopy. Off in the distance, I heard wolves howling at the night sky.
“Is he awake?” I voice inquired from behind me, a few feet away.
“I’m not sure,” they replied, the voice sounding familiar, “let me check” The gentle sound of the wind blowing was now interrupted by the heavy footsteps of the approaching man as he approached “Harlow? Are you awake?”
“…Yes” I replied, quietly. I was still in awe over the night sky.
Karkos stepped closer, and then eventually sat down beside me on the Cliffside, joining me in my stargazing. “I don’t blame you being so quiet; it was the most beautiful things I had seen when I first came too. I didn’t know space was so beautiful, I thought it was just endless black that went on forever. But then I was brought here, and it has shown the truth; that given the right conditions, even that which is dark as night itself can shine magnificently”
I nodded silently in agreement, not wanting to pierce the silence. They seemed so delicate that if I were to disturb them, the stars would fall apart and scatter, never to be seen again. He turned to look at me, his dark brown eyes peering at me, glistening in the moonlight.
“How was your journey?”
My journey…to be honest, I never remembered much of it. I remember the forest near the city, I remember the wind and the sound, but then after that, blackness. I felt some jolts and some jerks, but for the most part of the journey I was just…floating there.
I smiled. “Bumpy.”
Karkos belted out a throaty, heart-felt laugh, echoing off the mountain side and out into the forest. “I know, I’ve been there…” The conversation dissipated into the silence, both of us looking out silently into the vast scene before us, the spread of the trees beneath the sparkling heavens. Never did I see anything so beautiful before, and that part of me the lay deep within my chest jumped with joy upon seeing something amazing. I felt like this whole thing was meant for me and me alone, but here it was sharing it with someone who I knew appreciated it just as much as I did.
“When I came here first, I had to rub my eyes about 20 times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, and then pinched myself 20 times more to make sure I was dreaming. So much happened so fast, and I wasn’t able to process any of it; it was all so much to take in in such small time. But one word of advice; as beautiful as all this is, it’s also dangerous. I wouldn’t advice straying too far from where we’ve set up camp. There are things out there that are serious predators, and wouldn’t think twice about tearing you apart for food if you don’t have the means to defend yourself.”
With the new edge of danger added to this all, I felt so overwhelmed. Here I was, confronted with such amazing scenery and natural beauty, and on top of that I was now dealing with the adrenaline coursing through my veins like liquid energy as well as the fear of being attacked. Of course, here I was safe with Karkos and whoever else was accompanying me, but still the anticipation was exciting. Regardless of how scared I was, I smiled.
“Where are we heading?” I asked him, sitting up and looking around me. Behind me, about five feet away, a small campfire fizzled in and out of life. Around it, three people sat, getting warm. It was only now that I realized how cold it was up here. Looking back out over the cliff, I saw how high up we were: The trees were massive, higher than most trees I had seen back at home, and still the cliff on which we were sitting sat high above them all. I stood up, and approached the fire where the shadowy figures were situated. One of the people, a young woman with long brown hair, looked up with her green eyes from the fire and spoke:
“We’re heading to the Sanctum of the Circle. It’s not far away, about a day’s journey away.”
When they said a day I mentally reeled. “A day?! Why is it going to take so long? And why are we sitting out here in the cold? We could be driving right now!” I couldn’t understand why we weren’t staying warm in the heat of a car, or even flying to where we were if it was far enough to need a day’s journey after a night’s rest.
The woman sighed. “I knew Juno wouldn’t explain to you properly. Karkos, explain to him before I get aggravated.”
Karkos stood by the fire beside me. “Please excuse Ingenia, she’s just a little tired” He said with a certain amount of sarcasm. “Oh boy…where do I begin,” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “You were chosen for a reason, so I guess you’ll understand what I mean when I say nature is precious. It’s a beautiful, yet delicate and to be protected. It’s a whole host of interlinked systems, and in there’s some sorta consciousness. It’s like there’s god, or something else, making sure everything works right. That’s why, here, me make sure nothing messes with it. Anything to causes damage or takes too much from the balance is taken away, and so things like cars, planes, all that stuff that you’re used to back on Earth, it’s gone. People made the mistake of becoming greedy and thinking that the world had enough to sustain them forever, but soon enough they’re gonna be left without a source of energy, and they’re gonna need some quick thinking to get themselves out of a pretty tight spot. Besides, they’ve all lost touch with nature and they’re all lost and empty. That’s no way to live.”
“So no phones, no transportation, no anything? It’s all natural?”
“Yeah, pretty much”, he replied. “We know the technological world has its benefits, but if you depend on them too much you lose touch with life”
He had a point. I noticed one thing that really bugged me. With the introduction of social networking sites and such, people spent more and more time online sort of…cultivating this online persona. It was what they wanted to put forward, and people like them because of that, not because of who they really are. People become obsessed with presenting a perfect image, and eventually they begin to lose too much with reality. They spend more and more time online talking with friends who aren’t really friends. They’re not out in the open air, actually socialising. Instead they’re in a stifling, empty room in front of a computer screen, endlessly typing away on a keyboard. As much as these guys came across as hippy environmentalists, it really seemed to me they had a point. I couldn’t help but want to just jump into a car, or stick in a couple of earphones and fall asleep to some music, but of course, now that I was here, that wasn’t happening. Remembering that I had put my iPod and Phone away before I left the house, I dug my hand and extracted the rectangular touch phone out from my jacket. It was still operational, surprisingly, but the time constantly read 00:00 and there was no signal what-so-ever. Taking my iPod out, I realized that it still worked, but without any kind of outlet to charge it, it was soon going to die out and be of no use to me.
“There’s no need for that anymore,” Karkos said, pointing at my phone, “None of us use any of these here, so you’re the only one who has one. Besides, there are no telecommunications poles anyway, so it’s completely redundant. So are those, by the way.” He nodded at the small bundle of notes that had tumbled out of pocket when I took out my phone. “People back in the technological world put too much emphasis on money and how it was used. At the end of the day it’s simply paper, and here it’s completely meaningless. We’ve got a completely different system here.”
“I see…” I responded quietly. I thought about it for a moment and I realized it made sense: if I was somewhere completely new, I should’ve really known in advance that I wasn’t going to need money. I slowly walked back over to the edge of a cliff and stood at the precipice, looking out over the scene above and below. It was a strange feeling, knowing that money, something you had so much dependence on only a few hours ago, was now completely useless. The same applied to the phone; I needed it to keep in contact with people and to organise my schedule around work and gatherings. Here though that was all completely irrelevant. So, grabbing the notes and phone in my fist, I flung it out over the forest and into the trees and out over the Cliffside. The phone fell to the bottom with a crunch-worthy thud, but the notes fluttered and danced on the light breeze as the drifted to the bottom. There was something poetic in the movement, but I didn’t wait around to watch them fall to the forest floor, I was getting cold.
I moved back to the campsite and I sat down in front of the fire and looked around at my company. They were quietly chatting away amongst themselves, throwing in words and phrases I didn’t understand, terms that we’re completely alien to me but of course, considering Juno said it to me before I left, it’s only to be expected. It was then that I noticed the fire was flickering out of life.
“The fire is nearly out; I’ll go find some more wood to stock it.”
Just then, Ingenia quietly raised her hand towards the fire, and in her palm a glowing, red hot ball of flames emerged, enveloping her entire hand. Then, without a word, she flicked it at the campfire and it flew, with lightning speed, to the dying fire, re-invigorating it and bringing it back from the dead. Immediately I jumped right back to my feet and jumped back a good few feet.
Ingenia sniggered under her breath. “Never seen magic before, Harlow? I guess I’m not surprised, we’re not allowed use magic outside of this world but Juno should have explained it to you before you left.”
“In fairness Ingenia, we were in a rush,” Karkos answered, “There wasn’t really a whole lot of time for explanations.”
“Yeah,” I said, speaking up, “Juno mentioned it to me the first time, but there was no way I believed her. I still kind of disbelieved her up until now, but I guess now everything she said was true…”
“Maybe so, but that doesn’t excuse your ignorance. Magic did exist on Earth back long ago, and there was stories passed back over generation to generation. But here you are, acting as if you had never even heard of the concept!” She raised her hands in apparent exasperation, “I don’t even know why they pick up people like you anymore. The Circle has enough idiots to deal with without another one being dragged along…” As she said that, she looked pointedly at another person in the circle, sitting right beside me in the fire, their hood still drawn up. As she said it, they hung their head in apparent shame. I guess I wasn’t the only person here struggling to keep up.
Soon afterwards the conversation drifted to more complex matters, with Karkos, Ingenia, and the others getting deep into talk about different magical matters. All the while, the person with their hood up sat silently, watching the fire cast its flickering light over the smooth stone of the cliff.
“Don’t listen to Ingenia, she’s usually tolerable-- it’s just that we had quite a chore getting you out here, and she’s extra bitchy when’s tired.”
I turned, and the mute cloak had drawn back his hood and turned to face me. His brown hair hung in long ringlets around his head, and his thin, spindly glasses hung on the bridge of his nose, protecting a pair of cool blue eyes coloured like an iced over lake. It made me feel as if this guy had a certain complexity to him, a certain depth. Like the water beneath the thick layer of ice, all it needed was a bit of effort to break through the surface and into what lay below. His mouth was pulled in an amicable smile.
“My name’s Welbret. Don’t worry; I’ve been where you are now. I’m still there, I guess. I was brought here, I dunno, six months ago, and I’m still finding it hard to wrap my head around this magic thing. I was supposed to getting a job as an accountant, but then of course they found me one day and insisted I came along. The way I looked at it, I didn’t have much to look forward to: Accountants were always the boring, know-it-all little nerds that sat down the back of the class with no friends, and that carried over into later life. I didn’t have many people I would consider close, and as it was I was really struggling to keep paying the bills in a job I really hated. When Karkos appeared on my doorstep a while ago, he ushered himself in to my dingy little apartment and explained to me why I was different from everyone else, why I was selected to come with him and the rest of the circle to Aetheria and start a new life. I didn’t even need to think about it, I was sick of always been looked down upon and trod on, and Karkos really made me feel I was part of something. As you saw though, some things never change…”
After he finished, he pushed his glasses back up his nose with a stubby little finger, before squinting through the glass and extracting a handkerchief from his pocket, gently clearing the lenses from dirt and debris. He was no older than 25, but already, even now, you could see greying strands working their way through his thick hair. Something about his face was familiar, like I had seen it before but I just couldn’t remember. It was on the tip of my tongue but it just wouldn’t come out. Case of Presque vu, I suppose. Seeing him clean his glasses so innocently and so docilely, I could help but like him.
“Well then Welbret, we can work through this together. I’m brand new here, and you’re relatively new without a clue what’s going on. We’re both intelligent people; if we put our heads together we’ll work out something.” What was there to lose by making a new friend anyway? In a world where you’re as ignorant as a new born baby, you take any friends you can get.
“I’d like that,” he said with a smile, “but unfortunately for now I’m exhausted. I need to get some sleep.” He stood up, and made his way to one of the three tents stationed on the perimeter of the campsite. “In the morning we’re setting off for the Sanctum, and wait and you see it, it’s unlike any castle you’ve ever seen”
“I’m looking forward to it” I replied, smiling. “Goodnight!”
“Goodnight Harlow! Goodnight everyone!”
A mumbled chorus of goodnights came from the rest of the group at the campsite as Welbret ducked under the canvas of the tent. Left alone with my thoughts again, and basking in the warmth of the fire, I couldn’t help but think how quickly things had changed over the last month or so. I was really starting to give up on the childish fairy-tale that we’re all meant to do something one day, and realizing more and more that it’s the same for everyone else; grow up, get an education, get a job, settle down with a nice family in a nice house in the suburbs, and wait for the day that you die. I just wasn’t able to reconcile with that though, the thought that I was just the same as everyone else. I guess I really was like everyone else then in a sense because I roamed the streets at night sometimes for the very same reason they did; hoping they’d find something, thinking that things are getting ready to happen in the dusk, in a pungent alley or on a dark corner. It wasn’t until I came across a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger than granted me the chance to realize what was apparently my true potential. Here I was, the cynical, introspective journalist who was living and working in the big city living out my own personal fairy-tale, spread out in the outdoors under the vast sea of stars in an unknown world full of mystery and danger. I was on the brink of a new world, un-explored and ready to be discovered. And what’s more is that I was apparently chosen for something, specifically called upon for a particular purpose. But what could it be? Juno said they had been watching me for a long time, but for how long? And for what reason?
“Karkos, where’s Juno?” I inquired, directing my question to the small group of people conversing around the fire in front of me.
He looked up “She had to move on ahead a few hours ago, the Sanctum had important matters to discuss with her. Why, did you want to ask her some questions?
“Yes, but mostly I wanted to ask what she had changed my review to say to get Mr Mason so riled up?”
Karkos laughed again, chuckling darkly. “That’s for Juno to say, not me. It’s getting pretty late, Harlow, and you seem tired. The blue tent over there is free, if you want to take it” He pointed over to the blue tent situation between the cream one Welbret clambered into, and a grey one.
“Thanks, I think I’ll take you up on the offer.” I rose up to my feet and began walking towards the tent. The group stopped talking, and Karkos rose up, addressing me directly
“I’d advise getting a good night’s rest. You’ve got a long, eventful day ahead of you tomorrow”
I was confused. “Why, what’s happening tomorrow?”
Ingenia snorted indignantly. “The Ceremony of Ascension, you idiotic fool! Didn’t Juno bother telling you anything? I swear that forgetful old woman is getting far too old for her post”
“Ingenia, that’s enough! We can’t expect Harlow here to know everything about Aetheria the moment he steps in. If I remember correctly, you were just like him not too long ago, an initiate without a clue about how things worked around here. Am I right?” Ingenia remained silent, staring at the ground. “I thought so! Try to be a little bit more sympathetic next time you’re talking to Harlow.” He turned back to me. “Now, where were we? Ah yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Ceremony of Ascension. It’s where you come to realize your potential and come into contact with the magical element of your psyche, embedded deep within you. Be warned, it’s an exhausting, time-consuming process, so a significant amount of energy is required. That’s why I suggest you get a decent amount of sleep tonight, so you do well tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I replied, quietly, to his explanation. I scurried away into the tent and lay down on the bedroll laid out on the bottom of the tent. The Ceremony of Ascension? The magical side of my psyche? Again, all of this was thrown at me way too fast, how was I supposed to process all this by tomorrow? He said it wasn’t an easy process, and already I was finding myself nervous at the prospect of taking part in something so important and failing. How was I expected to connect with this dark, other side of my brain? Through some kind of meditative technique? Regardless of all this inner turmoil however I seen felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier, until eventually they were closed and then soon I was drifting away into my mind, dreaming. However, just before I gave into sleep, Welbret’s face came into mind and it was then that I recognized where I had seen it; it was the face on a series of missing person posters placed near my apartment complex.
All Mankind - Break The Spell
Found these guys through the Fifa 12 Tracklist. Nice fusion of guitar and piano.
Synthetica
Synthetica, the forthcoming fifth studio album to be released by one of my favourite bands Metric, is due to be released in June 2012
Emily Haines, the lead singer has said that the album is
"about forcing yourself to confront what you see in the mirror when you finally stand still long enough to catch a reflection. Synthetica is about being able to identify the original in a long line of reproductions. It's about what is real vs what is artificial"
Totally looking forward to this! <3
One Day in August - Chapter 3
If you're interested, Chapter 2 can be found here
That morning I was woken by the obnoxious buzz of my alarm clock at 7am, followed by the soothing sound of Jake’s Morning Mix. It was a strange feeling, getting out of bed to get ready for work, to realize that I didn’t have a job anymore. I tried crawling back in bed and going to sleep, but I was never one to drift back off after waking up. So, after getting up, I didn’t bother to get properly dressed and shuffled around the apartment for a little while, lounging around watching TV and making some breakfast. It wasn’t long before I took another glance at the clock at realized it was 1:00pm, and remembered that I was supposed to be meeting up with these…magicians later today. It was a stranger feeling again realizing that I was going to rendezvous with what could be potentially a load of psychopathic junkies in the forest to probably go off on some kind of adventure. But hey, at the rate, what did I have to lose? I stumbled into my bathroom and had another quick shower, before getting dressed in my favourite ensemble of white band t-shirt, brown leather jacket and jeans. It was 2:30 when I was finally ready to leave, phone, keys, iPod and a small amount of money in hand. Here I was, ready to leave my apartment in the knowledge that I probably wasn’t going to come back. What was going to happen to it after I was gone, what was going to happen to all my stuff? Maybe I should have thought this through a little bit, but then again thinking about it I don’t think there’s a lot someone can do when they’re in this position. Should I pack food? Water? Maybe some clothes? In the end though I just decided to leave before I ended up bringing anything with me, where I’m going I’m probably not going to need any of that stuff, and besides, there’s something liberating about leaving everything behind. I pulled the door behind me and locked it. I suppose it wouldn’t stop someone for too long if they were determined, but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving it unlocked. I went down the elevator, the sound of it slowly descending down the metallic chute amplified in my nervous silence, and into the parking lot, getting into my car and bringing the engine to life.
I was stuck in traffic on the way out onto the freeway, choosing just the wrong time to leave the apartment: rush hour. The whole way I was wedged in traffic, and as I was stuck there I noticed again all the people walking by. I realized how, without me observing them, they’re still going to go on without me. Not to say that I thought the entire world revolved around me, I just felt it strange that the world is going to keep turning, keep changing, without me here, and I’m not going to be here to see it. Who knows how long I’m going to be gone for, how much is going to change, and if I’m ever going to come back? When I came to this realization, I felt a certain amount of pity. I had the chance to do something which many people never did: to experience something different and because of this these people are being left out and trapped in the same cycle. I hoped, then, that if things did change they changed for the better. By the time I managed to get onto the off-ramp and drive freely, it was 4:45 and I was still a bit away from where the clearing was. I push the pedal to the floor and powered towards the forest. Before getting to where I had parked nearly a month previous then, it was 5:00pm, and I rushed out of the car and ran right into the forest, not bothering to lock it. I ran through the trees, keeping my eyes focused on the faint dirt trail that I had walked back and forth twice now, jumping over weeds and protruding roots from the ancient trees. Soon enough, I heard their voices.
“He isn’t coming. Let’s leave before we’re discovered.” A deep, male voice encouraged
“I agree, it wasn’t enough to get him to come” another man agreed, this one’s voice rough and gravelly
“I suppose you two are right,” Juno answered, “we had best leave no before someone stumbles across us. Are we ready?”
A chorus of voices rang out in agreement.
“Then let us depart”
She raised her hands in preparation to leave, perhaps casting a magic spell to return from whence they came. If I was a second later I would have missed them.
“Stop! Wait!” I screamed from the tress, bursting out in the clearing and taking them all by surprise. “W-wait..!” I bent over and put my hands on my knees, gasping for air after sprinting through the forest to catch them in time.
“Well it’s about time you showed up, Harlow” Juno replied, smiling. “We were getting worried that we weren’t going to see you.”
“Well I’m here now. What’s this about?”
A man stepped forward, the one with the rough, gravelly voice, and addressed me: “You’re here because we asked you to be here. We’ve been asked to give you one more chance by the higher ups, but if you don’t take it we’re gone forever and you lose out on your chance. Make your choice now before we leave”
“Karkos!” Juno snapped, “There’s no need to be so curt.” She turned to me. “Harlow, as rude as he may have been when he said it, he has a point. We’ve got a limited amount of time here. You’ve got to make a decision, but please Harlow you know this is the right way to go. We’re sorry we had to go to such lengths but it’s for your own good. Just be aware that if you do come with us, you’re more than likely never going to make it back here. Your home, your possessions, your family and friends…they’re all gone if you come with us. But are you going to give the chance of a lifetime up to live in a life that’s only going to lead to a dead end? Are you really going to give up the chance of seeing what we have to offer and be content to be feeling the same for what could be the rest of your life? All you have to do to get away from it all is to take my hand, and here I am offering it to you now. All you need to do is grasp it.”
Standing there, the wind blowing through the leaves and tress in the depth of the forest, among the life and vitality of nature, I thought for a moment. This was truly one of those moments, more so than most, in which someone makes a snap decision. It’s a big one too; leave my entire life behind to go off with a load of mysterious strangers? Probably not a good decision, but still my gut told me to do it. It prompted and pleaded with me to step forward and take her hand, but behind it all my brain was analysing the facts; if I go now, it means dropping everything. But then, what was everything? Living in a semi-detached house with a white picket fence and a barking dog in a kennel? Or even living in the city surrounded by people who were just trying to get by in a system that inhibited the individual, left them alone and isolated among a sea of alone and isolated people? My job was out the window, and all I had left was a tiny little apartment, and then soon to move back in with my parents. I wasn’t going to live like that. No way.
In the last few moments before I reached out, everything rushed through my head; memories of growing up, expectations for the future, dreams and hopes, relations with people, love prospects, all of it would become instantaneously irrelevant. If I did this, I was stepping into a completely different world, one which was completely different from where I was. If only I knew how right I was.
With my heart beating, my mouth dry and trying to swallow back my fear, I nervously put my hand forward, and placed in it hers.
With an endearing smile, she spoke: “You’ve made the right decision” In her eyes you could see her happiness was genuine. She squeezed my hand. “I’m so happy for you Harlow!” she rejoiced, “You’ve made the leap of faith which all of us had to make one day, and now you’re on your way to making the best decision of your life.” Then, all at once, she regained her composure and put on a serious, solicitous face. The circle fell completely silent, the wind ceasing to blow. “I must now induct you into The Circle. Are you ready?”
“The Circle? What’s that?” I asked, unsure of what they were talking about. I had assumed that it meant them, but I wanted to be sure.
“I will explain it all later. Harlow Matthews, do you wish to forsake this world of empty promises and accept your invitation to The Circle? To join us in a new world in which we strive for happiness and truth?”
I knew what to say next. It came without thinking. “Yes, I accept”
“You realize you are starting a new life. Anything you own, everyone you know, everything you have experienced will be no use to you once you step into Aetheria. You are stepping into a new world blind, and you will need the guidance of the rest of The Circle in order to educate yourself. Do you understand?
“Yes.”
She smiled. “Congratulations, you are now one of us. Prepare yourself, for you are now leaving this world. Are you ready?”
“Yes”
“Then let us begin.” And with that, she pulled me into the centre of the circle, and shouted different commands at the rest of the circle in a strange language I didn’t understand. The wind stirred, and the colours of autumn whipped and twirled in the crests of the wind. It got louder, roaring with ferocious force, and the leaves were spinning around us in a torrential storm as it got faster. The last thing I thought about before we all disappeared was how, eventually, someone would realize I was gone, and search for me. They’ll find my car if it isn’t stolen by then, stationed outside the dirt-trail that lead to this clearing, but they won’t find a trace. Missing person posters will be plastered all over the city, and there’ll probably be eye-witness reports of me heading out of the city or into the forest, but regardless of how hard they search they won’t find me. Eventually they’ll come to the conclusion that I wandered away from the city one day, gone to make war with myself in the wilderness. They’ll perhaps think that I was attacked by some wild animal, my bones perhaps left to waste away alone in the on a hillside, but instead I’ll be very much alive, much more alive than I ever was in a world where everyone wanders around aimlessly waiting for their dreams to be realized in vain. And that was how, on one day in August, I disappeared from the face of the earth and started a journey that would last a lifetime.
Bon Iver -Towers
Up until now, I honestly though that Bon Iver were just some seriously over-rated hipster band but they're actually really, really good.
One Day in August - Chapter 2
Immediately after the incident I rushed back to the car, following the faint dirt trail to lead back to the opening in the forest, and then, once it was in sight, I clicked the button on my keys and wrenched open the steel door, slamming it shut once I was seated inside. It was a while before I managed to put the keys into the ignition and start the engine. I was too deep in thought, too busy going over what had just happened. Was a really just confronted by a group of mysteriously cloaked individuals in the forest who claimed to have mastery over magic? I felt like I was suddenly in the beginning of a teenage fantasy novel, where the deep, introverted protagonist is given the opportunity to enter the world of their dreams and fight monsters and save damsels in distress and wield magical swords to go on an adventure, soundtrack and all. I couldn’t wrap my head around this shit, it was ridiculous. I was driving a 2003 Reno Clio and living and working as a journalist at the age of 23, not going off saving beautiful princesses and stopping mysterious evils from conquering the world. I wasn’t some kind of predetermined hero, chosen at birth to save the world. I was just…Harlow, nothing more, nothing less. It wasn’t long before I realized it was getting dark, pulling the gearstick and setting off towards the city once more. There were still a few cars powering down the highway as the sun set, the street lamps flickering into existence once more as the light grew dim. Eventually, I found myself outside my apartment complex, and, parking my car in the underground parking lot, I pressed the button the on elevator that lead to my floor, and then eventually to the entrance of my apartment. I slid the key into lock, the mechanism tumbling into place and then, twisting the doorknob, I pushed the door in and walked into my apartment.
Straight away I knew that there was something different about the room. I’ve always been very particular about the way things are set up, very feng shui about décor and where things have been kept, and even as a kid if my mom came into my room to change something around I would know straight away before insisting that she doesn’t do it again. So when I walked into my small apartment, I knew something was up. Everything on the surface seemed to be perfectly normal, the chairs in the same place, the kitchen as spotless as I left it, but still something in the very air itself suggested some kind of violation. I live alone, so the disturbance couldn’t have been attributed to a room-mate or girlfriend, so I really felt as if someone had broken into my apartment. But who? I placed my keys on the counter on their usually place as I carefully skulked around the room, being careful to be quiet unless there was still some kind of burglar in the apartment. First, I checked the bedroom, tentatively pushing forward the open door to reveal my bedroom just the way I had left it, the bed covers carefully made just as I like it, without a crease. The bathroom was next, turning on the light and looking at my reflection in the mirror as it came to life. Finally, reaching up slowly with my hand to pull back the shower-curtains a la American Psycho, I ripped them back to reveal nothing there but my shower head, still dripping slightly from the shower I had this morning. With all the rooms in the apartment now checked –it was pretty small, one bedroom, bathroom, with a living room/kitchen- I was a little bit more comfortable now I was sure no one was here.
I turned to the mirror hanging on the wall over my faucet and took a good look at myself. I was still having trouble processing what had happened today. There was no way that was real, I must have fallen from my branch and passed out, whacking my head off the ground in the process. That doesn’t explain how I managed to get to my car without waking up on the ground first though. I turned on the tap, and pooled some fresh, cold water in my hands before splashing over my face. Raised up, I could see my reflection looking right back at me. Blue eyes, with a hint of grey, peered through the glass and right into mine, with a relatively round face framing them. Dark brown hair fell from the top of my scalp and over the sides of my head and fridge, leaving one eye partially covered while one left completely open. I didn’t really mind, considering one eye was lazy and I was supposed to be wearing glasses, but I thought they made me seem dorky. Looking at my eyes though they seemed pretty tired, and it was then that I realized I actually hadn’t slept in about 24 hours; I had walked through the city all last night. Turning off the faucet, I turned and left the room, switching off the light behind me and closing the door before traipsing into my bedroom. I closed the curtains that overlooked the street and the building opposite and get undressed. Finally, after clambering into bed, my mind started to come to rest and it wasn’t long before I fell asleep and gave in to oblivion.
*****
I had gone about two weeks without thinking about what happened in the forest again. I was swamped with work, trying to get interviews with different bands and managers (I worked on a music magazine called Buzz as a columnist) and typing up reviews of different bands that I was ask to write about. It was something I loved doing, but it was sometimes pretty exhausting. It wasn’t until I got home one evening after interviewing the lead singer of some start-up screamo band that I got a glimpse of someone in the alleyway near the entrance to the underground parking lot. I had pulled up and was riffling through the glove compartment on the other side of the car to get the card that I had to swipe in-front of those scanner things to open the gate when I noticed them: At first I didn’t really take much stock in it, just some guy coming out the alleyway, but then after returning to the glove box did I remember exactly what cloaks those freaks in the forest were dressed in, and did I recognise the same kind of shape in the cloak of whatever the person across the street was wearing. When I looked back thought it was too late, they were already gone. At first I shrugged it off and dismissed it as my mind playing tricks on me, happens all the time. But as the day went by I couldn’t get it off my mind, and I kept finding myself glimpsing at the alleyway from the window in my apartment as I was watching TV. I couldn’t keep myself focused on the show I watching; I was just getting too paranoid. Again I couldn’t shake the feeling that I there wasn’t something quite right in my house, but I had searched it from top to bottom. It was again later that night that I got a better glimpse of my stalker, standing in the same place, as I closed my curtain, but by the time I opened them again I only seen the tail of their cloak following them.
In the morning, I was walking through one of the busiest parts of the city, during rush hour, when the streets are absolutely packed with people and it’s a tough job to even get across the road without bumping into a few people. I had just walked out of the office to grab a bite to eat from my favourite café down the road when I thought I seen Juno: She was sipping on a coffee on one of the tables outside the restaurant, and when I saw it I blinked in disbelief. A truck passed by, and when it went the table was completely empty. When I ordered my coffee and bagel and sat down at the same table, I seen there was a plate there with crumbs still on it. When I asked the waiter, he said he didn’t see anyone sit at that table all day.
Over the next week or so, I was seeing things left right and centre, and I was really starting to get paranoid, I was seeing cloaked figures everywhere; at every street corner, in every empty window and even at work. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and my work was suffering as a result; Mr Mason was noticing a sharp decline what I was handing back to him, and seeing as I was already in his black book due to a fiasco with an interview I did with some semi-famous band member about a month back, he mentioned that if this streak continues, I’m fired. Without a job, I’ve got nothing; without any income I can’t afford to continue paying for the apartment, and if that did happen it meant having to move back in with my parents and back into the suburbs. Back to square one. And that was hell; if you live in the suburbs prepare to be surrounded by a load of plastic housewives pretending that everything in nuclear when really it isn’t, and husbands going to and from work each day to pay a mortgage on house which they technically don’t own. I wasn’t going to become a part of that. All I seen for someone with a life like that was just one giant blank expanse, the rest of their life simply fulfilling the same routine over and over again. It’s what so many people get trapped into and it’s not for me.
I was in the office printing out a copy of a review later that day that I was meant to show to the editor. It was slating some pop artist’s latest sell-out single, and if even though I was tired I managed to type up something fairly decent. I handed it to the boss, he gave me the green light, and I set it up to be printed in the magazine. My shift was finished by then anyway, so I packed up my stuff and left. Again I seen the cloaked dude in the alleyway, but at this rate I just ignored it, it was a regular occurrence. I dumped all my shit on the chair in the sitting room and went into the bathroom, getting ready for a quick shower before heading to bed. I emerged, 20 minutes later, from the bathroom, wringing wet with a towel wrapped around me when the phone rang. I yanked the phone from the holder, and as soon as I put it to my ear I had Mr. Mason’s nasal voice hit my eardrums:
“HARLOW! Who do you think you are?!”
“What’s wrong Mr. Mason?” I asked, genuinely confused. He was always quick to get angry, but here he was absolutely fuming. “I don’t understand, what’s happened?”
“What’s happened? What’s happened? Your review is what happened, that’s what! The review that you handed me is nothing like what you gave me, and the sheer audacity of you to write something like that!”
“Mr. Mason I assure you I didn’t change anything! Please, give me 20 minutes I’ll be in the off-“
“I don’t want to hear it Matthews, forget it, you’re fired!”
And with that the line went dead.
That was it. I was moving back with my parents. My attempt to break out into the world as an individual had failed, and now I was going back to the suburbs to become one of those losers who lives in their parents basement. I sat down on the chair and soaked it all in. I could try looking for another job, but in an economic climate like this I was extremely lucky to have the one that I did. I was either going to get extremely lucky again or I wasn’t getting a job. And I doubted that was going to happen. Suddenly so frustrated, I flung the phone at the nearest wall and it slammed against it, falling to the floor. What could have gone wrong?? I asked myself. I hadn’t even touched the review between now and when I had shown it to Mr Mason, so had could it have been changed? Someone must have sabotaged it, trying to get me out of the job in order to get a promotion.
“You know, it’s generally a bad decision to throw stuff against walls. Things tend to get broken that way.” A voice said from the kitchen counter.
“Holy shit!” I roared, noticing now that there was someone standing not 10 feet away from me. It was Juno, and she was dressed in her usual long, black cloak. “How the fuck did you get in here?! I suggest you get the fuck outta my apartment before I call the cops!”
“Don’t worry; I’m only here to deliver a message.” She replied as coolly as the smoke off dry ice, “I know we said we wouldn’t bother you, but our orders are otherwise. We’ve been asked to give you another chance, and to give you a little bit more…inspiration to take it on.
“…So it was you who sabotaged my review!” I exclaimed, connecting all the dots.
“Perhaps,” she said with a shrug, “Or maybe it was just a genuine mistake on your part. Regardless, my message is the same. If you want to meet with us again, come tomorrow to the same clearing in the forest. We’ll be there. If you’re coming don’t be late.” And with that she turned to leave.
I was puzzled. “So wait, that’s it? You’re just here to deliver a message? Wouldn’t it have been easier to knock on the door, or, I dunno, send me a letter or something, rather than breaking into my home?”
“We wanted to get sure the message was received. Remember, 5:00pm at the forest clearing. This is your last chance.” She said.
“And if I don’t come along? Are you going to stick to your word and genuinely leave me alone this time?” I asked, as she walked out.
In the hallway now, she turned around and laid her hand over her chest. “On my honour, we will not follow you again if you choose not to come”. Then, she pulled up her hood and set off down the hallway, in a matter of seconds turning the corner and disappearing from view.
Left alone again, I was confronted with the surrealistic idea of some…witch who had power over magic offering me to become one of them. How could she have gotten in? The door was locked, so if she got in while I was showering I would have heard her breaking down the door. Maybe she was here all along, and she was the reason why I had felt like someone had invaded my space for the last few weeks? Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit more inclined to take on her offer. Clearly they had sabotaged my review in order to get me fired, so I would have nothing to lose in going with them, and they were right; what would it matter now if I decided to pal along and get into…whatever they were doing? I haven’t got long before I need to go back to the suburbs and go back to that life of sheer mediocrity, and here was the opportunity to take on something more exciting. I eventually went into the bedroom and got dressed, sitting back down on the couch and staring down at the canvas of skyscrapers and city lights. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing, getting away from all this, where people give in mindlessly to consumption, all enclosed in nicely designed little boxes called apartments. Even if I got away from the suburbs, I was still destined to live my life working on some music magazine and being told what to do, hoping one day maybe I can do something with my life. Here was the chance to do something different, do something now. I took a quick glance on the digital clock on the table beside the chair, and it read 1:43am. It was getting pretty late, and I realized how tired I felt, so making sure all the windows and door were securely bolted –although I felt it wouldn’t stop them looking for me if they wanted- I trudged once more to bed and lay down, realizing this was probably the last time I was going to sleep in this bed.
Kaddisfly - Campfire
Kaddisfly are one of those bands who you can't help but ask yourself "Why aren't these guys more well known?". Fresh, catchy hooks and vocals are a breeze of fresh air.
Wow, this is amazing. It's like the edge of the world.