Jim Walters (Chilling Devotion) x GN!reader
Summary: There was something wrong with that place, you couldn't put your finger on what it was, but it's presence was strong. You had to escape. No matter what. You've been planning this for weeks and only the circumstances will show if you'll really be succesful.
TW: unhealthy and toxic, obsessive relationship
Author note: Requested by the super awesome @cutecat2005 !! I also remembering getting a request in the past for part 2 of Misery loves company but it was around the time I lost my last account and all of my motivation. I can't find anon but I hope this could be a sort of offer as these fics could be a bit similar in some aspects. Also I watched Obsession it was soo good, i got a bit inspired x
Everytime you thought you were alone - you weren't. At every corner, at every crevice of this place, you couldn't have privacy. Couldn't afford to be left just by yourself or your thoughts. The unsettling chill which ran down your spine seemed to loom over you like the moon over the night sky at each of your steps.
How far did your freedom stretch? And how far were you willing to go for the answers?
The emptiness of your ceramic cup was daunting. Your hands clutched tightly around the painted sides, with the previous drink nowhere to be found, it's warmth long gone. At the bottom, you could see your reflection staring back at you, especially your eyes, more tired and unhappy than they have ever been.
You couldn't bare it anymore.
This wasn't the first time you felt unease, wondering if your supposed beloved was drugging you or not. The food tasted strange from time to time, always leaving you weary. Surely by this time, by the amount of days spent between you two, alone, you'd know his intentions, objectives or even beliefs. Yet Jim Walters was seemingly a closed book, unreadable, written in language long forgotten in time. His pages were all torn and burnt, forever lost somewhere under the layers of ice. It was all too much and your patience wasn't endless. You weren't a monster for wanting something more than all of this.
Yes, you knew him, his personality, his habits, but could that even count? What was his past? Why did he live here? And what was your role supposed to be?
The time spent away from the outer world, the civilisation was enough to set you two into a steady everyday rhytm. Something normal couples did. Jim cooked, cleaned, showed affection. He wouldn't fight - he'd avoid you when frustrated, retreating into hinself and taking his anger out on some poor tree with his axe. It was almost domestic at times. Overall, it really wasn't like you had a bad life here. But it wasn't yours. Not one that you willingly chose, at least. You stumbled into this lifestyle with a layer of powerlessness hanging over your head. Sure, your ciurcumstances might have been way worse, whether it was fate or some twisted coincidence, you were now trapped here, behind thick wooden walls, damned long before he'd even reach you, long before you stepped your foot over the threshold of this house, long before you even really knew what was happening.
The same cup that just made you ponder your situation was suddenly being taken away. The man's own hand gently wrapped around yours, offering you a small smile when your eyes met. He stood up from his seat at the table, took the dirty dishes into the sink, giving it no thought whatsoever. For him it was just a normal morning.
"Tired?" his question cut through the silence.
"...Yea." you closed your eyes, shaking your head slightly, your own polite smile appearing, "Couldn't really sleep much."
"Hmm." Jim simply nodded in understandment, the sound of running water began filling the tiny cozy room. He never was much for talking.
To say you couldn't sleep was an understatement. Nightmares have been plaguing your mind ever since your first night here. This certianly wasn't the first time you felt a bit drowsy. Sometimes it almost felt paranormal. Unnantural.
You watched the man for a few seconds, stood up and walked closed with a yawn, hoping the motion would get more blood pupming through your tired body, "What's the plan for today? I was thinking about making lunch. Rabbit with roasted potatoes - how does that sound?" Your sudden question rendered the man silent.
Jim's brow quirked up. He was the one who usually did the cooking, especially bigger, more fancier meals like this. Your cooking abilities were limited anyways, the kitchen still feeling a whole lot distant and unfamiliar.
"Nothing," your corners of mouth itched upwards, convincing and disarming enough to confuse even the most stubborn of minds. "I just though we could spent some time together, that's all."
If his hands weren't wet, he'd wrap them tightly around your waist and pull you closer, your simple request already warming his heart. He scanned your frame with his icy blue gaze before his shoulders slumped in defeat - he couldn't deny you anything. Not when you looked at him like that.
"I saw this one receipt in the cook book!" Leaning slightly against the counter you watched him work. "Wait, you know what? Let me just get it." you waved your hand casually and dismissively instead of explaining it, already turning around to reach the small library while Jim's focus was still occupied by the contents of the kitchen sink. You didn't even hear his reply (if he even said any) when you knelt down by the shelf, pretending to look for the object you mentioned. Instead, you grabbed his diary. You knew you shouldn't look through it, that's why you dared to do so right in front of him. It would be sly and ridiculous. Forced by your ciurcumstances, you had already carefully learned how to navigate the mine field just out in the open, in plain sight. With your back facing him, you quickly skimmed across the pages.
If you wanted to be succesful, you had to tread carefully. You've been planning this for weeks. Slowly getting ready, step by step when he wasn't suspecting, looking, paying attention. His routines were familiar like the palm of your hand, his things were like your own. You knew when he went to sleep, when he was waking up with the brink of mornings. Still, you had doubts. Would it even be possible to succesfully escape?
There. You found the page your were looking for. It was a map Jim drew a long time ago, showing the cabin, the nature around and the best places for hunting or setting down traps. It was a simple sketch, definitely not professional looking. The trees were like tiny arrowheads pointing upward, the hunting grounds were marked an X. At the top left was a compass, showing witch way was north. You recognized the road you came by from, and even if it was already so long ago, you knew which way it spiralled down the mountain and away. That was good to know. You held your breath, not forgetting to scan through the areas Jim didn't explore yet. Blank spaces with no scribbles on them, whether he couldn't reach them or just avoided them fully for whatever reason. Your heart pounded deep in your chest but your facade stayed unshaken. The adrenaline rush definitely woke you up from your previous fatigue. A strange way how to start one's morning.
This one glance was already risky enough. Trying to remember as much as possible, you slid the book quietly back, taking the correct one and opening it on the page you intended in one swift motion. You've read it many times, you've been prepared.
"Here, see?" you stood back up, closing the distance over the livingroom with lazy steps, dragging your feet almost nonshalantly.
The water stopped running and Jim wiped his hands, reading the page titled 'Tender rabbit with delicious roasted vegetables and home made parsely dip'.
His brows furrowed. Nearly all of the ingredients used in this recipe weren't located in the kitchen. Most of them were either frozen outside or in the forbidden basement, fully locked out, with him possessing the only key.
He considered it for a moment, yet his eyes remained strong and fixed at the book in his hands.
But why not, he thought. It wasn't like he suspected your planned escape; you haven't given him any reason to doubt you. Yet.
"I... I'll look into it." Looking at you a bit uncertain, but kindness still painted his features, small blush appearing as well.
You just smiled right back.
It didn't take long for him to get ready. His jacket was on, his boots were firmly tied and his scarf obscured the lower half of his face, protecting him from the harsh weather outside. The winter was nearing it's end, but the mountain climate has always been unstable and unpredictable.
There was a high chance you'd have better circumstances running away during spring. You wondered about it many times but, unfortunately, you always came to the same conclusion: you had to escape as soon as possible. You'd rather freeze in the wild than to see your body and will slowly rot away into numbness. Especially now, as you watched him leave from the corner of your eye and through a window, his dark silhuette walking away, dissapearing into the one room you've never been to.
Your pulse quickened, hearing it in your eardrums as you put on your own winter clothing. Letting out a shaky breath, the front doors creaked once more as you stepped out. Your time was very limited - you had to act quick, and preferably keeping your nerves steady.
The snow crunched under your feet, trying hard to not make any more sounds. The basement wasn't far, just a few feet in front of you, but it wasn't the distance or the cold which worried you. Stilling your breath, you gathered all of your courage to peek around the corner, half expecting Jim's eyes to burn holes into yours. Instead you saw his back down the far wall. He was rummaging inside a crate of potatoes, swiftly picking out the most decent looking ones.
Gently, you placed your foot at the first step of the steep stone staircase. It was frozen and old, making it difficult to balance out your quietness and carefulness.
Your goal was to reach the practical pegboard one would normally find in a garden shed. Knifes, axes and other gear was hung there, on big rusty nails, casting a malicious atmophere across the already dark basement. You couldn't see much down there, but you didn't really pay it much mind, it wasn't like you were planning on exploring this place. Curiosity did spark within you from time to time, but this wasn't the situation. Too focused on your task at hand, with caution, you closed the distance over another step, almost slipping. The entire body stilled when Jim's figure perked up. A cold droplet of sweat rolled down your temple, painfully uncomfortable in the cold air. He didn't seem to notice anything though, getting back to work.
Still having a long way to go, you recalculated your situation. Was it even worth it? Sure, you wanted a knife to defend yourself, but maybe you could grab one from the kitchen drawer, even if that was way more obvious.
When suddenly, the man tied the potoato sack in his hands, ready to leave.
You reacted way too quickly. Dashing out, jumping over the icy stairs, desperate to get out of his eyeshot as fast as humanly possible. Rushing over the snow, you tripped. Something moving wrapped around your ankles, dragging you down and filling you with panic. Your maneuvers were rapid, moving your hands towards the feet quicker than your gaze. You could hear Jim's heavy boots acsending the staircase.
Ripping the tangled thing away from your body - not a snake to your own surprise - you held up a loose rope, originally lost under a layer of snow. Unfortunately, you had no time to process anything as you quickly got back up, reaching the door. Immediately upon entering, you slammed to the doors shut, running over to your room, not even caring if the man heard you or not.
Your heart pounded more than ever before. Even despite your short and shallow breaths, you instinctivelly threw down your jacket and the forgotten rope, locking them both into your closet. The snow stuck at your soles, leaving small puddles underneath. Fear, anger and regret all swirled inside your head like storm clouds, waiting for the worst to happen. You shouldn't have gone there. Jim was going to find out, he was going to lock you here forever, he was going to never trust you again and you'll never escape...
A knock on your door announced the man's presence.
He called out your name but it felt so distant, as if he wasn't even really speaking to you. More so, as if he was only addresing your body, but your mind wasn't responding. You were too absent minded and shaken with fear to even really reply.
His face, followed by his long blonde hair, appeared in the doorframe. First, he quickly scanned the room, his eyes merely darting towards every corner before settling on you, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Secondly, he stayed quiet. Just watching and wondering. You knew he wasn't stupid. He wasn't ignorant either. There was no way he wasn't going to question you.
"What?" you spoke, more choked than you expected.
"I mean, right now. Were you outside right now?" there wasn't that much urgency in his low voice but his stillness still creeped you out. It always did, how observant, noiseless and non-confrontational he was.
Now, you had two options. Tell the truth and face the consequences, or lie.
Your voice came out a hushed whisper.
Shaking your head ever so slightly, you cursed yourself. There was no way he was going to believe you.
You could feel the rest of his body tensly linger behind the doorstep, not moving a muscle, leaving you wondering if he was going to barge in at any second.
"I was just taking a nap." you rubbed your eye unconvincingly, "But I'm not really sleepy anymore... Are you hungry? We can go make that lunch, if that's what you want?" trying to stir the conversation elsewhere, voice sweet as honey, you couldn't miss how Jim slightly jolted at your words. ...if that's what you want...
This didn't really earn a reply. Instead, he continued on waiting, keeping quiet. His eyes skimming the room once more, slightly squinting when they met yours. Without another word, he left just as quickly as he arrived, his head dissapearing into the hall. You weren't sure if that was a good thing or not, but no matter what, you still let out a deep breath. Stilling your heartbeat, you stood up on wobbly legs. It was time to face the situation you created.
Your partner was in the kitchen, as you suspected. Not really sure if he was giving you the silent treatment, his hands moved steady to bring out all the pans and platters. His fixed look was so uninviting, as if saying how he'll manage this cooking alone, by himself.
And he did. Jim did most of the things, with you often having to move out of his way. He worked affectively and swiftly, following the recipe and making the entire dish in no time. His innner anger or upset or whatever it was slowly faded away, leaving you both squashed under uncomfortable silence. Even if both of you maybe should have apologized, you were almost glad he didn't persue more questions about your short outside venture. Once you were done, watching the rabbit cook in the old oven, you slipped the unguarded kitchen knife into your pocket, careful enough not to draw blood. That was rather smooth, at least smoother than your earlier attempt. Your cheeks still reddened at the fresh memory. Even offering to clean up to cover your suspicious tracks. But despite all that you were sure the man was going to watch you way more carefully now, his eyes set on you with each and every one of your moves.
Dinner was no more no less the same. The same quiet eating, the same tense air filling the room. The food was good but still left a strange aftertaste on your tongue.
You returned back to your room, your head full of thoughgs, exhaused, not really by the activity, but by the nerve wracking stares given by the man. The constant tiptoeing you had to do around him, like you were dancing on the thinnest ice imaginable.
Slumping back at your sheets, you wished to bury right in. But you couldn't.
Another alarming though flashed through your mind. With haste, you slid down at the floor, pulling out your bag from underneath the bed. You had to be prepared. And you had to pack everything necessary now.
Night creeped around the corner but you couldn't sleep. Your eyelids were heavy but the paranoia kept you wide awake and alert. But not only that.
You knew Jim tended to check on you at night, for whatever reason, but tonight, he checked on you three times already. You also knew the mountains were dangerous, even more so at dark but you had no other choice. You already walked a thin line when it came to this entire plan, stealing equipment, acting all weird.
Evedytime you felt his presence you knew he wasn't just looking if you were sleeping. His stares loitered; he was making sure you weren't running away.
At around 2AM your door creaked open once more. Feeling Jim's eyes bore into your shoulders, an uncomfortable shiver ran down your spine.
Not a few minutes later, the door closed again. Entire minutes. Spent tense under his stare. The squeaking of the floorboards was loud against the still, lonely walls as he walked away. Hopefully, the air was clear now, but you still had to wait another few minutes for the man to fall asleep.
He's grown suspicious. You knew that he knew, which only made you more sure about your desicion. There was no going back now.
Swinging the bag over your shoulders, you were ready to go.
You didn't even had to try to bother to open the door, already suspecting it would be locked. As if that could stop you.
Climbing through the window you kept quiet, moving as slow and stealthy as possible. Conflicting feelings bottled up inside you, trying hard to supress them as you looked around the empty, cold cabin. The same cabin you've spent an important part of your life in these last few months in. It didn't matter now - you had to go. Even if a small part of your being longed to stay here, you knew it wasn't what you truly wished for. And you were sure this place could have grown on you more over time, if you'd maybe given it a sliver of a chance. But if it was truly meant to be, you'd know where to find it again, to find your way back again. You'd know how to return. But for now, you had to make this completely radical choice for yourself and leave, tear away the ribbons which tied you to this forgotten piece of land.
You didn't look back as you began walking, faster than usual, picking up your pace until you caught yourself sprinting away with all your might. The side of the hill was steep as you entered the denser part of the forest, going off road, sure to not be tracked by your footprints, your muscles still moving quick.
You weren't sure how far you've gotten when your legs began to cramp up and your throat began to close. You gasped for the icy air around, finally allowing yourself a small break. It was still dark and you weren't really sure how good of a idea it was to camp. The only company were the tall pine trees and the everpresent frozen landscape.
Taking out the rope from your bag, you tied a bigger rock around one end, using it as a sort of makeshift grappling hook. You weren't exactly the most athletic person so this mechanism quite helped when climbing up the nearest tree.
At the top of one branch you positioned yourself carefully, tying yourself tightly against the bark. It was rather high. Normally, you wouldn't even think about climbing something like this so casually, but it was almost scary how far could certain ciurcumstances push a person. And part of you couldn't even believe this was really your reality, not a dream, not a game, not a piece of fiction.
After what felt like forever, you finally let yourself relax and even close your eyes a bit.
You've been woken up before the sun could even reach the summits. Frigidness wrapped around you like a blanket, sitting on the land, the trees and your reddened face. The trilling of birds echoed across the treetops, as you looked around, realizing what was happening. The memories came flooding back undone. In the awakening light of the morning it all felt unreal. Were you really able to do all that?
For a few minutes you just sat there, taking in the view and your circumstances, as well as listening for any passersby. Your body was stiff and sore but your courage burned inside your chest, keeping you warm. If you had to admit, you were a bit proud of yourself. Even though the fight was not over yet, the most difficult part was done for now.
Your life just shifted. Something in you just shifted. And you had a feeling this was a slow beggining of some better days.
With newfound determination you slid down the tree, packing your rope up.
Now that the sunrise slowly began to lit your way, you tried noticing anything resembling a path but to no awail. You weren't sure if that was a good thing or not; at one hand you wanted to reach civilisation as quick as possible, at the other, walking along a well known trail could be dangerous for you. But really, everything you did so far was dangerous.
All signals pointed towards how this part of the forest was barely explored and completely unhabitted. But what was a few more miles to reach your goals? You were so close, you just had to keep on going, even if you weren't that well rested.
The nature could be enchanting. One of the few things keeping you somewhat alert as the hours slipped through your fingers like water, but you didn't really mind. You were too deep in your thoughts, too focused to care about the minutes. Even better, the more time passed, the more of a distance you built between you and that damn hut.
Your body suddenly froze, the hair on your back stood up straight, as if your sixth sense activated, as if your intuition suddenly kicked in. There wasn't anything out of the usual, but the air felt tighter, more dense. It was a strange feeling - you didn't know what it was, your eyes couldn't recognize any dangers. Maybe it was the uncanny, eerie quiet, abruptly not accompanied by any sounds of nature, but you frantically looked around nontheless.
Then you spotted it. The walls of a house.
At first, a wave of panic washed over you. Were you back at the cabin? Have you gotten that lost? Trying to remember Jim's map correctly was a bit difficult now; what if you went the wrong way? Towards the wrong direction? Navigating through unknown area, especially at night, was a risk you knew you were taking.
There was no way. There couldn't to be. It's been hours since you've left. Did you really just circle the entire forest?
You came closer with a hesitant step.
But the closer you came to the wooden structure the less frightened you felt, nervousness leaving your system and certainty building up inside you.
It wasn't until the tall trees and long branches reavealed the entire building, you found yourself standing in front of a ranger's hut.
Catiously, you walked around the building, peeking into the dark windows. No one seemed to be inside. A moment of hesitation was replaced by your quick impulses. With haste, you lunched at the door. Maybe you'd find phone, food or water inside, not to mention the shelter. You were more than sure there was no ranger on Jim's map. Did he know this was here? Didn't matter now, maybe you could even spend the next night here. There was no way you were going to let this opportunity go to waste.
Shaking the door handle vigorously, the lock wouldn't budge.
Quickly, you pulled out the kitchen knife from earlier, trying to pick the lock manually by yourself. The sharp point slid accros the rusty metal unsuccesfully. Maybe forcing it with your entire strenght wasn't a good idea. You focused your hands, cleared your mind and steadied your breathing; it would be better to be slow and precise, even if you were desperate. You twisted and pointed at the doorlock for minutes until you've heard a clear clank where the tiny gears popped into place.
Steadily, you opened the door.
Inside was nothing much to see. Old furniture and decor greeted you right away from the entrance, pulling your gaze deeper into the cabin. You felt a slight relief at the cozy sight, not having to feel the aggresive cold on your skin anymore.
If your ciurcumstances allowed, you'd stay here for a few days. Wait for help or get going once you'd gather all your strenghts.
As your steps echoed through the empty place, you've catiously looked around for kitchen. If you remembered correctly, the main phone line back in Jim's house was also located on the counter, hopefully this place would be similar.
The area was tiny so it wasn't any problem for you. You've reached the small dining area, nicely tidied up, with no food left to spare. Rummaging through the shelves, drawers and the fridge, you've only managed to find some forgotten canned goods. Nothing too apetizing but you still pocketed it nontheless. Looking around the unfamiliar place a bit more, you've noticed the life it radiated. As if it was well lived in, despite no residence being currently inside. The walls were lined with personal memorabilia, cut out and framed newspaper articles or vintage car models. It radiated of time, old interests and love. You've even seen some old bottle of alcohol, wondering if you should steal that as well or not. Overall, the entire interior seemed frozen somewhere in the 90s, and it's energy wasn't stagnant, like back at your old home. It was lively and comfortable, smelling of cinnamon and pine cones.
Maybe you could finally ease up a bit. These past weeks you've been in such a fight or flight mode, you've almost forgotten how to relax. Make a cup of tea, coffee or hot cocoa, try to make something to eat, phone for help and wait. You've told these steps to yourself with your inner voice, finally letting out a long held breath.
The quiet was nice. For the first time in an extended period, you could afford to find the stillness comforting, and you've realized you still had time. The world didn't end yet. You really did escape. You really were successful afterall.
It would be best to look for the phone, you added in your head again.
Allowing yourself to explore this captivating place, you ended up circling back into livingroom - the first room in the house, which could also be considered somewhat of a hall.
Nothing on the floor, notning on the couch, nothing on the cabinets. But once you scanned the nearby coffee table, that's where your eyes caught in place. The phone, old but hopefully functional, stood at the surface alongside with some books and empty vase.
You lounched at it in no time, scrambling to punch the emergency contact into the buttons.
Silence. The only thing which followed. For a second, your heart rate began picking up speed again, but you had to keep your cool. You had to find out what was wrong.
A droplet of sweat ran down your forehead when you picked up the machine and turned it at each side, looking desperately for a mistake, error or just anything that looked out of place. The handle looked fine, so did the cable. You didn't dare to mess with the wires so you left it at that. A sting of hoplesness ran through your being.
You scanned the object once more. The entirety of it. The mistake didn't lay at the phone itself, it just wasn't plugged in. A wave of relief washed over you once you realized, accompanied by a bit of embarassement. You really had to try and ease up. Getting back on your feet, the nearest outlet was just behind one drawer. That wouldn't be a problem, shoving the piece of furniture out of the way, you began shuffling with the cable.
You heard that so clearly. Clearly and abruptly, like a lightning, crashing down before the storm even began. A knock on the door. One a bit too familiar. One that made the hair on your neck stand up fully in attention.
Your head whipped towards the door, panic clouding your mind. A figure stood behind the closed door, their shadow visible from underneath.
You could hear your heartbeat in your own ears, drumming loud and deep, taking your breath away. There was nowhere to run now. You were trapped in a house you didn't even know existed a few minutes ago. A primal fear took over your body, but you weren't able to move, weren't able to tear your eyes away from the incoming threat.
The doorknob rattled as the person behind began to open with a creak.
