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Synopsis: Joshua, a rising self-made millionaire with a sprawling empire that stretches across the country, has caught your fatherâs eye as the perfect marriage prospect. But when you coldly reject his proposal, you do more than bruise his prideâyou ignite something far more dangerous. Joshua is a man accustomed to taking whatever he desires, and your refusal only sharpens his resolve. In his world, no is merely the beginning.
Note: I had this one in my drafts since 2024 and plot wise this is probably my personal favorite for now. I wrote this one much more simple than my usual poetic style so let me know what you think about this style. Also thank you so much to @hiheszach and her friend for beta-reading (censored version of) this work and being so sweet and supportive! Bloody divider by @/k1ssyoursister.
â Read on AO3
â ïž Reader discretion is advised â ïž
Your pencil languidly scribbles a crowd of eyes, each one's curve expressing a range of emotions on the foot of your notes.
The conference room currently holds a trio of you; your father and Joshua sat across from your bored self (and its walls outside bear the weight of eager employees trying to peep in for juicy gossip.)
"Your company has been showing promising results, but I heard the funds are getting tighter and tighter, making it harder to expand more in the industry, so I would like to offer land with remarkable quality and location for a very reasonable price," Joshua proposes with a soft smile curving his lips. His pupils remain locked on you even though he's explaining to Mr. Lee, your father.
Your attention is still swimming in your drawings; your hand continues to draw on muscle memory as your mind begins to drift into the numerous galaxies of the world escaping outside of this boring meeting.
"Oh?" Your father sits up straighter, intrigued. "Let's hear your demands," he says.
"I want to marry her," he demands with another smile warming his lips as if you have already agreed to it.
An astonished gasp escapes Mr. Lee, and his gaze shifts to you. "Are you serious? You want to marry my only princess?" Your father asks with evident excitement leaking through his words.
You roll your eyes, well aware he couldnât give a damn about you. He thinks itâs time to sell you off like a vegetable.
"Yes. I am serious," he nods, looking at you through a red haze.
Joshua stretches his hand in your direction, his palm facing up in a gentle invitation. "Will you marry me?"
Taut silence strains the room.
Mr. Lee grins from ear to ear, awaiting your response. The employees outside pack up the corridor with hushed gasps and sharing whispered guesses among themselves, rattled by the sudden proposal. Everyone knows you're a prideful person, and gaining your hand in marriage is no effortless task.
"Answer him," your father mumbles, pressing his pressure on you. Your chin lifts as tall as a mountain.
"No," you say curtly.
His face stays still as water, but you don't miss the faint twitch of his eyes. He slowly dragged his hand back, folding his arms across his chest. "No?" he repeated softly, his voice barely above a whisper. The room strains with awkward silence once more. Your father whips his head between the two of you, stupefied by your response.
"I'll never marry you," you say imperturbably and walk out.
Joshua watches your departing figure with a concreting expression. He then turns to your father, offering him a stiff nod before heading out himself. He knew that you wouldn't budge even if he moved mountains for you, but neither would he until you accepted his proposal. And he was determined to win you over, no matter how long it took or whatever cost he has to pay for it.
Over the next few months, Joshua began appearing at every event you attendedâevery place you inhaled oxygen from. He would sit at the back of every occasion you passionately delivered a speech in, clapping in admiration, his eyes gleaming at your glowing figure. Expensive gifts start piling up in your name day by dayâvibrant bouquets of expressive flowers, glinting jewelry worth hills of cash, and trendiest cars; though each gift would meet its fate by being abandoned in a waste bin or being sent back. His shadow even starts lingering in your favorite cafes and restaurants when you're winding down from your exhausting day or meeting up with an important client.
He starts materializing everywhere, be it looming around your workplace or always offering a ride home when the office hours are up, and even lurking around the corner of the street when you arrive home from a long day.
No amount of flowers thrown in his face and strings of colorful insults would budge his determination.
By March, Seoul slowly shed the sharp gray silence of late February, trading winterâs fading breath for dry sunlight, crisp afternoons above ten degrees, and nights that still lingered below freezing beneath the first shy bloom of spring. Joshua, however, never changed; he stalked you through the shifting seasons, refusing to leave you alone.
You step out of the building, your sight landing on him for the infinite time; you watch his figure lean against an exorbitant car, followed by hushed whispers and the crowd pointing in his direction.
You stomp towards him.
"What will it take to make you get lost?" You ask exasperatedly.
Joshua raises a brow in pure glee. "Marry mâ"
"No!" you bark, which vibrates a chuckle out of him as stands up straighter. An annoying grin stretches across his face from ear to ear when he crouches down to your eye level.
"Let's start off slow if that's what you want. Have a dinner with me," he gibes with a half-smile.
You chew your lip, pondering your options. It's a wonderful offer if it stops him from haunting you like a vengeful ghost.
"Will you stop bothering me after we eat out?" You ask in contemplation.
He nods after a beat of silence. "Yeah, I can give you some peace," he grins, "for some time."
Your eyes roll back with another wave of infuriation. As a private individual, you dislike having someone lurking in your orbit who knows your every move; just the thought of it irks you.
You give a rigid nod.
"Let's go!" he beams, opening the door for you as you slide into the passenger seat. His grin curves up more, rotating around as he hops into the driver's side, and the car speeds off.
The restaurant he chooses is quiet in a way that costs moneyâmuted lights blending with soft voices, a view that looks curated rather than natural. You tell yourself itâs just a dinner. One meal, one hour, and then heâll vanish.
Thatâs the story you stick to.
Joshua pulls your chair out for you. You donât thank him. He doesnât seem to mind. He watches you the way investors watch graphsâpatient, certain that eventually the line will move in his favor.
You order first.
âThe grilled fish,â you say, then pause, tilting your head as if reconsidering. âWhole.â
Joshua smiles faintly. âBold choice.â
âThey say the eyes are the window to the soul,â you reply lightly.
The food arrives. The fish is pristineâuntouched, staring upward at you with one cloudy eye. You donât hesitate. You cut cleanly, precisely, lifting the eye out with your fork.
Joshuaâs glass stills halfway to his lips.
âThey say the eyes are the window to the soul,â you repeat, softer now, like a still oasis. You place it in your mouth. Chew. Consider.
âMmhmm,â you hum. âI like them. Makes me wonder how souls taste.â
A soft smile curves up your lips.
He lets out a sharp laugh. âYouâre trying to scare me.â
âAm I?â you ask with airy curiosity.
The server refills the drink without asking. Joshua thanks him by reading his nameplate. You notice thatâhow carefully he keeps track of small dominions.
âYou don't flinch around me,â he says at last, nodding towards the plate. His voice has settled back into a calm ocean wave. âMost people do.â
âMost people perform,â you counter back, setting down your fork neatly. âI get bored with that.â
Joshua surveys you like a puzzle, as if its few pieces are missing on purpose. âYou think Iâm performing?â
âI think youâre rehearsed,â you claim. âThereâs a difference.â
That earns a genuine stretch across his lipsâslower and considered. âRehearsal is just respect for the audience,â he debates.
âAnd yet,â you pause, glancing around the dining room, âyou chose somewhere where no oneâs really watching.â
âPrivacy has its own kind of audience.â He leans back with a pleased nod. âTell meâwhy did you agree to this dinner?â
You let the silence engulf the table, opting to take a sip of water. It doesnât bother him. That bothers you.
âCuriosity,â you say finally. âPeople like you always want something they can't have. I wanted to see if you are after me to just bandage your bruised ego or something else.â
Joshua nods, as if youâve confirmed a hypothesis, but you don't miss the derision twinkling in his eyes. âFair. And?â
âAnd I wanted to see if youâd be disappointed when I didnât give it to you.â
His shoulders shake with a chuckle. âYou assume I know what I want.â
He gestures toward your plate. âYou talked about souls earlier. Do you believe in them?â
âI believe in leverage,â you say. âPeople call it different things depending on what comforts them.â
âInteresting,â he mutters, tapping his glass lightly. âI believe in inevitability. Systems move in predictable ways. People too, if you give them enough time.â
âTime,â you echo. âThatâs generous of you.â
âI am generous,â he says easily. âWith the right investments.â
You laugh, quiet and unamused. âYou talk about people like assets.â
âEveryone does,â he replies. âI just donât pretend otherwise.â
The server returns with his dishâsomething minimalist and expensive-looking. Joshua doesnât rush to eat. He stays stillâwatching you, an unattainable woman grown up with a silver spoon and charm.
âFamilies,â he continues, picking up the thread you left dangling earlier. âTheyâre the worst-run organizations in existence. No bylaws. No exit clauses. Just obligation and decay.â
âAnd yet,â you pause, âpeople cling to them harder than anything else.â
âFear of starting from zero,â he says. âSunk cost fallacy. Sentimentality.â
âOr love,â you offer, flatly.
He tilts his head, dripping with mockery. âYou think love is exempt from economics?â
âNo,â you answer. âI think itâs often used as a cover charge.â
That earns a fogged silence. Joshua finally takes a bite of his food.
âYouâre not wrong,â he says after a moment. âBut youâre not entirely right either.â
You arch an eyebrow. âDo explain.â
âControl,â he says in a lower octave, âis easier when people think theyâre choosing it.â
The words land with soft stepsâcareful and deliberate.
Your eyes lock with hisâunblinking. âAnd you invited me here becauseâŠ?â
âBecause,â Joshua pauses, âyou donât think youâre choosing anything. Which makes you interesting.â
You smile againâsmall and sharp as if carved with a blade. âCareful. Curiosity is expensive.â
âSo is boredom,â he replies with a twinning smile. âAnd I can afford both.â
The check arrives, discreet as everything else. Joshua reaches for it. You let him.
As you stand, he says almost casually, âSame time next week?â
You want to scoff at his audacity, but somehow you consider himâthe curated view, the muted lights, the way the evening has been shaped without ever feeling rushed, and everything was molded with his handsâdancing to the beat of his fingertips.
âWeâll see,â you chew over. âI donât like inevitability.â
Joshua smiles like someone whoâs already accounted for that.
âNeither do I,â he agrees with an amiable smile once more.
You leave first.
But at the door, your steps halt, patting your pockets with polished exasperation. âDamn. I think I dropped something.â
Joshua is already moving. âIâll find it,â he offers.
You wave him off. âItâs nothing important.â
You walk out.
The next sunrise you splash your face with frigid water, its chill biting into your skin, but you don't mind it. Your eyes stare at your own through your reflectionâstaring. Your fingertip traces them in the mirror, its cool surface matching your pupils.
You wonder what your soul looks likeâand his too.
Your phone vibrates on the marble surface. Call of the devil, indeed.
âI think you left behind your keychainâŠuhh of an eye,â he says. âHow about I hand it over with another dinner?â
"You don't have to. Just sendâ"
"No, let's meet up, or else I'm going to keep it as a gift from you."
You let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, but this time I'll pick the place."
He lets out a small cheer, contented that you caved in with little struggle. "Okay, send me the address!" he beams, and you hang up.
Neon lights flicker with the bass; bodies sway on the dance floor, pulsing with energy in the nightclub. The music vibrates too loudly; the crowd breathes too close to each other, but it feels like the perfect place to hide, like a fish in the sea of people. And yet, here he isâJoshua Hong, right in front of you, as if fate had conspired to force you into this moment yet again.
You spot him before he spots you, his back turned as he scans the crowd, probably looking for your head. When his eyes pin on yours, they emit that familiar flickerâhope. But today, the air shifts differently for them. Thereâs no softness in your expression.
He approaches with soft steps as his voice cuts through the noise.
âSo, this is capable of dragging you out of your hermit but not me, huh?â he asks with a light huff, swinging your keychainâa little eye-shaped charm thatâs been with you for years. The metal gleams in the flashing lights, a constant reminder of something youâve left behind.
You let it swing in front of your face like a trinket for a cat, not moving to claw it away. Instead, you narrow your eyes, lips curling into something thatâs not quite a smile, but almost one.
âThat's funny,â you reply with a curved edge in your words. âYou are the one who found it, huh? What a coincidence.â
He laughs; the dripping suspicion is not lost on him. His fingers secured around its chain. âMaybe we are meant to be together. Fate has made us meet again.â
Your eyes roll back as you lean against the bar, assessing the crowd. This isn't the place for a private conversation. The lights are too bright, the space too full of people; eager ears can easily blend in to eavesdrop.
âYou wish," you huff. "Spout your nonsense, Iâm listening,â you order disdainfully. Your tone is stitched with taunts, meant to discourage him, but he has the gall to still shamelessly open his mouth to utter another thread of nonsense. A wave of exasperation floods over you, making you curse under your breath, already preparing yourself to snatch the keychain and leave. You donât need this.
âAbout us,â he continues, his words soft and clear as conjunctiva, but the underlying urgency doesn't escape your keen eye. He steps a foot closer into your bubble, just a hairsbreadth away. âI know you didn't mean to turn me down, and I think Iââ
You cut him off, folding your arms. âThis isn't the time or place. And honestly? I donât think I need to hear it at all.â
He blinks, then stands still like a statue, then the corners of his mouth pull down in a way that makes your stomach coil for a moment. But you know his sadness is plastic.
Joshua reaches into his pocket, and you know exactly what he is about to fish out next. The ring. That damn ring. Youâd seen it beforeâmore than you would like toâthe one heâs been holding onto for far too long, the one he keeps pulling out, hoping for a different answer every single time. This timeâit's a desperate, final plea.
âIâve been thinking about this a lot,â his words quiver with such downy thoughtfulness that if you were naĂŻve enough, you would have thrown yourself in his arms out of sheer pity. "I love you. And I know you donât feel the same, but IâI canât keep waiting for you to change your mind." He stammers, looking down at the ring, his hand quaking as he holds it out to you. "Please... will you marry me?"
The words hang in the air.
A laugh escapes you before you can stop itâquicker, cutting, and punitive than you meant it to be. Your gaze flickers around the room, the noise growing more distant as the entire club seems to slow down, like time itself is holding its breath.
And when you speak, your voice cuts through the volatile silence between the two of you. âI told you already,â you remind him firmly, the words thick with disinterest, like a sentence youâve repeated so many times like a mindless recording that it has lost its meaning. âIâm not marrying you.â
His face faltersâso subtly itâs easy to miss. A flicker of pain slips through, breaking past the desperate mask heâs struggling to hold together. His eyes drift, unfocused, as if heâs trying to make sense of something he can no longer quite grasp.
You step back, your gaze freezing cold as you notice the crowd gape at his humiliationârejection delivered like a guillotine. The club thumps not only with music but countless eyes on both of you and a chain of whispers being spread among the people. Someone laughsâa sharp, ugly one that bounces off the walls like the snort of a pig. Your rejection is echoing, sinking into the air with its anchor, its weight heaving up on Joshua's shoulders. You let it linger, savoring the moment, watching his embarrassment bloom in front of everyone.
Another laugh echoes. Someone snickers behind you, a little too loud to ignore. You can feel the eyes of the club on you now, the murmur of voices spreading like wildfire.
"Wow," someone lets out a derisive snort. âShe just shut him down in front of everyone.â
The whispers sting him. It's satisfying to see him shrink, his shoulders folding inward as if he's trying to make himself smaller. The guy who used to stand tall, full of confidence, now seems like a child pleading for validation (unfortunately with no tears glinting in his eyes yet).
For the first time, you see itâgenuine hurt. Not the forced kind he tried to sell you over the months, but raw, real vulnerability. The people surrounding you donât seem to notice it. They just keep talking, their attention already shifting elsewhere; the whole world keeps rotating while he stands stillâstuck in this moment.
âGood,â you say, almost too softly for anyone but him to hear. âIt was never going to happen.â
Joshua stands there, arm still outstretched, the ring caught between you like a mistake he made too fast to take back. His fingers twitch, grip tightening, looseningâlike heâs resisting the urge to snatch it away or force the moment forward. Silence presses in.
His jaw flexes. He swallows whatever he almost says.
For a flicker of a second, something reckless sparks through himâhis gaze snapping to the bottle on the table behind you, his fingers curling around its neck, smashing it against the corner of the table. And then he swings it at your headâ
No, he doesnât.
The cloud dissipates as he stays frozen instead, breathing unevenly, the impulse passing through him without landing, leaving only the weight of the moment hanging in the air.
âI told you already,â you remind him. âIâm not marrying you.â
Something fractures behind his eyes.
Thatâs when he hears it.
Two men sitting a few tables away. One voice low, crude, and careless. Complaining about women. About stubborn ones. Laughing about how they need to be taught lessons. Suggesting things that make Joshuaâs jaw tick.
You notice his attention swaying towards those men.
Joshua leans in closer to you. âYou hear that?â
You shrug. âMen talk.â
His face contorts, not in reaction to them, but to the universe and the possibility of anything encroaching on his perceived possessions.
You watch the realization bloom in his mind, its branches stretching out with leaves engraved with threat, protection, and possession.
You take advantage of his astonishment, fishing your keychain from his other hand, and by the time he realizes it, you're already blended into the crowd, slipping out of his reach.
Later, when youâre alone, your fingertip traces the eye of your keychain as you swim in your thoughts.
You had punctured his pride through and through.
You let out a heavy sigh, shaking your head to disperse your thoughts, and began a long trudge to the bathroom.
Frigid water splashes your face and drips down your hands slowly like a draining waterfall. You straighten up, staring at your reflection. Eyes look backâwhole and intact.
A small smile curves up your lips.
You wonder what your soul looks likeâ
And his too.
A stack of papers snaps your face to the other side. Your cheek burns; you press your tongue against it, steadying yourself. After a moment, you lift your gaze again, smoothing your hair back into place.
"What did you say? No?!" your father screams in your face."You think I'll forget about it if you avoid me for days? How dare you humiliate me in front of him?" He shrills, his fingers digging into your hair and yanking your head back with all his might.
You choke back a whimper, but still maintain your glare.
He scoffs and spits in your face at your audacity. With a forceful push, he sends you reeling, your back colliding with the wall in a deafening thud.
A sharp pain shoots up your lower back; you bite down your boiling scream by digging your nails into your palms. Everything throbs, but you won't hand him the satisfaction of witnessing your misery.
"Get out of my face. Scram!" he yells, and you do, limping your way out.
You step outside, inhaling a sharp breath of the city. Sunlight reflects off the gray concrete sidewalk, which is lined with green bushes. You walk towards the cacophony of the main road, leaving a trail of dripping humiliation. At the intersection, the air grows thicker, carrying the sharp scent of gasoline and hot rubber. The muted, sleepy environment of the street abruptly met the frantic buzz of lifeâcars rushing past, music thumping from a passing vehicle, and the scattered conversations of people walking by. You don't pay mind to the bustling city as your mind occupies itself by flipping through today's events.
An abrupt vibration travels from the soles of your feet up to your chest, followed by a guttural, tearing roar that rips through the quiet afternoon.
You look up just in time to see a bright streak of neon cutting through the traffic flow, weaving erratically in your direction; the rider hunched low over the tank like a jockey in a race. You freeze, your breath hitching.
It all happens too fast.
A splatter of sizzling liquid rises high like tsunami waves onto your faceâslopping into your eye.
A bloodcurdling scream erupts from your lungs as you instantly shield your left eye.
You watch a blurry figure rushing in your direction from the other side of the road. You blinkâJoshua Hong.
He ran towards you, his saucer eyes puffed up with flaming rage and concern. He gently but firmly moves your hand away from your eye to inspect the damage.
"Are you okay?!"
He clumsily fishes out his phone, swiftly pressing it to his ear. His words are stern and curt as he speaks to someone on his phone. "Get security here, now!"
A blend of your blood with bubbling acid stains your palm. He cautiously pulls your hand away from your eye once again. He watches you, his gaze locked on your face. Your left eye remains squeezed shut so tightly that it sends a tremor through your cheek, while a steady, silent stream of tears leaks out, mapping down the path of your immense pain. He hears you hiss softly under your breath, trying to hide your pain. He scrutinizes the crowd that is beginning to encircle around you both, everyone whispering and covering their mouths in shock.
Without hesitation, he scoops you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest. Keeping you steady with one arm, he begins striding towards the waiting car, barking orders into the phone with deadly calmness. "I want that acid analyzed immediately. Find out who did this."
Joshua carefully places you down in the backseat of the car, climbing in after you. He is quick to grab a handful of tissues, gently pressing them against your eye, applying enough pressure to stop the bleeding. You grunt in protest, your eye still throbbing endlessly. The driver speeds off towards the hospital, leaving the chaotic scene behind. "Stay still," he says, squeezing your shoulder in solace.
At the hospital, his hand remains steadfast in your hold as Joshua accompanies you throughout the entire examination. Refusing to step outside, his hand holds yours more firmly as the doctor examines your eye, his thumb gently caressing your knuckles. (The security gave up trying to take the man outside when he answered with a grim scowl; no one wants to offend this man with tremendous influence after all.)
When they finally gave the news that you had lost vision in your left eye because of the acid attack, his face ashes up and a winter chill settles in his eyes.
He listens meticulously as the doctor explains that the acid had burned through your retina, causing permanent blindness in your left eye. He saw your porcelain pale face remain grayâsheeted with an uneasy layer of placidity. He hears the doctor mention that he spotted a small sign of infection, which might likely spread more.
"Can she still keep her eye, or does it need to be removed?"
The doctor hesitates before answering Joshua's knotty question. "The eye is severely damaged and infected. Removing it would prevent further infection and pain for the patient," he explains while keeping his eyes downcast. Joshua's jaw clenches, his knuckles turn pale merely from his tight hold on your hand. "We recommend removal within the next forty eight hours."
He takes in a deep breath, trying his best to bottle in his swirling rage and grief. His gaze flickers down at you, looking for the shock and pain in your remaining eye. He sets the decision in stone. âDo it.â The words were thinâarctic and absolute. The doctor froze, then nodded. "Remove it."
They donât let him stay long.
Youâre still holding his hand when they start moving you, the bed rolling too smoothly, just like this decision which was made swiftly. The lights above smear together in a static lane of white. You try to sit up, to ask him not to let go.
âWait,â you screech, or your voice only echoes in your head.
The needle slides into your arm. Cold spreads fastâchasing your thoughts. His grip tightens, desperate, as if he holds hard enough he can keep you here.
Your fingers betray you. They loosen. Your body follows.
âNo,â he pleads, but the nurse peels your hand away from his as if it no longer belongs to either of you.
The doors close.
Inside, everything is too bright. They move quickly now in a careful motion blur of efficiency as if the gentleness will soften the inevitable outcome.
They drape a blue sheet over your face, leaving only your left eye exposed. The light still reaches only one place. Only one thing left to take.
Youâre not asleep. Youâre not awake. Your mind floats somewhere above your body, watching it lie there in obedience. Sounds echo strangelyâmetal clicking, voices murmuring like theyâre in another room.
âBreathe,â someone says.
You do. Once. Twice. The air smells sharpâwrong. Your thoughts begin to slip like water through your fingers. You try to hold on to somethingâhis face, his voiceâbut it all stretches and thins out into nothingness.
Youâre not asleep yet.
But youâre already leaving.
The room pulls away from you in pieces. Sound warpsâmetal clicking too loudly, voices melting into each other. Your body grows distant, heavy, obedient in a way that suddenly feels appalling.
Something is happening.
Panic sparks bright and instinctive just as your chest forgets how to answer it. You try to inhale deeper. Try to move. Nothing listens. The fear blooms anyway, trapped inside a body thatâs already going still.
Thenâ
Nothing.
The surgeon places the removed eye in a container and hands it to a nurse. His experienced hands began to stitch up the empty socket with clinical precision.
Joshua's restless feet echoes around the hallway, getting jittery as the clock ticks minute by minute. Finally, the doctor comes out. "She's bandaged and all well. We placed in a conformer for now. Let it heal, and then she can get a prosthetic eye."
His shoulders slope down with relief at hearing the surgery went well.
The doctor gives a nod and walks off to his other duties. The nurse leads Joshua to your room. He finds you asleep as a tranquil sleeping beauty. The mattress dips as he sits beside you, lightly tracing the edge of the bandage. He sighs, planting a soft peck on its fabric.
He clasps your hand firmly, afraid that you will slip through his fingers.
You are given the green light to discharge after a few follow-ups on the same evening. Your exhaustion drags you back into a world of dreams every few hours; you barely gave nods to countless questions from the doctor during the check-ups. He gently lifts your unconscious body into his arms, holding you close to his chest. He felt like a monster for causing you to lose your sight.
Joshua takes you back to his mansion, his men following behind with your medical supplies and medications. He carefully laid you down in his own bedroom, removing your clothes and replacing them with one of his oversized shirts that fell down to your thighs. He sat beside you for hours, watching over you as you slept.
As you stir awake, he notices your bandage has bled through and needs re-dressing. He gulps down a lump in his throat, the gravity of the situation pressing down on him once more. You reach up to touch your face, only to find an unfamiliar void. He quickly grabs your hand, stopping you from touching the bandage.
You wince as you attempt to open your left eye again, forgetting that it was gone. He watches your brow furrow in confusion as you try to touch your bandage this time. A soft whimper escapes from your lips as your brain finally registers that something was wrongâmissing. He keeps his gaze steady as memories of recent tragedy run behind your remaining eye. Your hands fall onto your lap as the reality brushes its harsh strokes into your brain.
Your body stills, mirroring an aloof statue. Your right eye blinks rapidly, trying to adjust to seeing the world with only your sliced vision. He peers at your steady sangfroid attitude, knowing that you were comprehending the permanent loss of your left eye.
You lift your hand to the bandage again, pressing to feel the empty socket behind the closed eyelid. You go rigid, slowly lowering your hand back into your lap. He waits for your reaction.
"It's gone," you say, your words flowing lightly with the breeze.
Joshuaâs hand lingers near your cheek, hovering as if you will blow away like ashes into the wind.
An eccentric silence engulfs the roomâjust the faint hum of the flowing curtains and the distant murmur of voices down the hall. Gentle sunlight filters weakly through them, not too bright nor sharp enough. You turn your head slightly away from it, your right eye struggling to judge the depth of the light.
You swallow.
âIt doesnât⊠hurt,â you comment after a moment, almost clinically. âIt just feelsâŠâ Your fingers twitched in your lap. âWrong.â
He exhales shakily, tucking his hands back into his lap. âThe doctors said that might happen. Phantom sensations. Your brainâs still catching up.â
You nod faintly, absorbing the information the way you always doâcarefully, methodically. Your gaze drifts back towards him, though it takes a second to align properly. You miscalculate the distance at first, focusing slightly past his shoulder before correcting it.
He notices it, and that almost shatters him into countless shards.
âI shouldâveââ his words ruptured into a quake. He clears his parched throat as his jaw tightens. âI shouldâve gotten to you sooner.â
Your brow furrows faintly. âNo.â
âIt was my fault,â he insists, leaning forward with elbows on his knees. âIf I had justââ
âJoshua.â
The way you say his name renders him completelyâsteady, grounded and certain.
âYou didnât take it,â you breathe. âYou didnât make the call. You didnât arrange it. You didnât cause the attack.â A slight pause. âYou took me to the hospital right away.â
His eyes glisten with a fresh wave. âToo late.â
You study himâreally scrutinize every edge and contour of himâwith your only visible eye left in your socket. It feels different nowânarrower field with harder edges, but it works nevertheless. You can still see him.
âIâm alive,â you state simply.
A lone tear trails down his cheek before he could stop it. He looks away, ashamed of it, but you reach out this timeâslowly, carefullyâuntil your hand finds his wrist. Your depth perception is off, causing you to brush the air first. He immediately moves closer so you wouldnât have to search.
Your fingers wrap around him.
âItâs gone,â you repeat, your words subdued softly now. Not in shock nor in disbeliefâjust crude acknowledgment.
Joshua covers your hand with his other one, holding it as if it's something fragile and sacred.
âIâm so sorry,â his apology quivers.
You let the silence linger a moment longer. The weight of everything gravities between you both, pressing down on your hearts. The future has shiftedâpermanently.
âIâll have to relearn things,â you murmur. âWalking. Driving. Pouring coffee without missing the cup.â A faint, almost humorless breath leaves you. âStairs are going to be annoying.â
Despite himself, Joshua lets out a weak, watery laugh.
You tilt your head slightly, testing your vision in a landslide view. âBut Iâm still me,â you softly hum.
He scrutinizes youâreally looks at you. The same stubborn set of your jaw. The same quiet steel in your voice. The same mind is already adapting instead of collapsing.
âYou are,â he says, his face twitching with fierce determination.
Your grip clenches just a fraction. âThen donât look at me like Iâm broken.â
Your words drills in his chest. His spine straightens as he wipes his face quickly. He nods, swallowing his guilt down as best he could.
âOkay,â he admits. âYouâre not broken.â
You lean back against the bed as the exhaustion starts seeping into your bones. Losing an eye was one thing. Accepting it was another. And you had done both within minutes.
But as your fingers drift once more toward the edge of the eye patchâhesitant this timeâyour composure wavers for a moment.
âIâm going to look different,â you mutter, much quieter now, not out of fearâjust⊠awareness.
Joshua leans over carefully, pressing his forehead gently to yours, mindful of the bandages.
âYouâre going to look like someone who survived,â he reassures you. âLike someone who fought and lived.â
Your breath hitchesâjust once.
And for the first time since you woke up, your calm demeanor cracksânot into sobbing, not into screamingâbut it morphs into a single tear slipping from your right eye, trailing down toward the pillow.
Joshua stays by your side, cradling your hand, letting you swim in your emotions.
Letting you feel all of it.
But not leaving you to face it all alone.
"It's gone," you repeat calmly despite your glassy eye.
He hears his heart crack at the calmness still blanketing your voice. You state it as a fact, not questioning it or showing any emotion. He reaches out slowly, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Yes... it's gone," he whispers with guilt clogging his throat and tears drenching his eyelashes.
That night, when he thinks you are asleep, you quietly slip out of the bed.
Darkness shrouds the bedroom, making it difficult to navigate and not bump into things. Your depth perception falters; you misjudge the distance and clip your shoulder against the wall. You donât reactâjust let your remaining eye adjust to the dead of the night.
You manage to find the attached bathroom.
The light inside illuminates too brightly when you flick it on.
For a moment, you just stand there, gripping the sink.
Then you look up.
The woman in the mirror stares back with one uncovered eye and a stark white patch (re-dressed a few hours ago) cutting across her face. Bruising yellows the skin beneath it. The bandage bulges slightly where the socket was still healing.
You donât blink.
You study the angles. The asymmetry. The way your expression looks⊠distantâthe sea in your remaining eye feels shores away, the waves ripple faintly through the murky night as the fog engulfs the view.
A bloodied figure reflects behind you in the doorway. Joshua's shirt wrinkles with stains of crimson. You are not surprised to find him looming behind you; you knew he was out somewhere and you were not curious enough to figure out where. Neither does the blood astonish you.
He mirrors your silence.
You reach up slowly and peel the edge of the patch back just a fractionânot enough to damage anything, just enough to see the hollow contour beneath the protective dressing.
Joshua jolts forward. âDonât.â
âItâs fine,â you breathe with firmness.
Your gaze never leaves the mirror, now tracing his eyes through it with your own remaining one.
There is no horror on your faceânot even tears.
Blankness smogs onto your face and morphs into acceptance.
He takes a faint step closer but holds himself back from grabbing you. His hands flex ineptly at his sides.
After a long moment, you let the patch fall back into place.
âI look like a stranger,â you assist.
Joshua grits roughly, yet a twitch of solace lingers in his words. âYou look like you.â
You turn off the bathroom light without responding and walk back to the bedroom.
After a few weeks of your surgery, your empty socket spurts out a pink discharge and swells with a hue of bruise around it. You constantly want to dip your finger into the socket to explore it and scratch away the itch but the annoying Joshua always holds your wrist hostage if you get even an inch closer to your patch, which makes you roll your eyes (oh, your bad, you meant to say eye now.)
The day began to blur as you were swamped with post-recovery care and follow-up appointments.
Joshua starts to orbit in your circle, from working often from home to bringing you all your three meals on a tray to adjusting your pillows. He religiously times your medication and tends to you like a stern nurse. When you standâhe stands. When you move, he hovers.
If you drift too close to the bedroom door, he suddenly materializes there.
âWhere are you going?â
âKitchen.â
âIâll get it.â
âI can get it.â
âI know. Iâll get it.â
It becomes a patternâan intricate web on which you are stuck like a dying fly.
On the fourth day of the same week, you manage to reach for the doorknob with pin drop silence.
His hand abruptly slams against the door before you could turn it.
âDonât,â he grits curtly.
You stare at his hand, then crane your neck up at him.
âI need air.â
âYou can open the window.â
âI need to go outside.â
His jaw tightens. âNot yet.â
Your right eye twitches slightly. âWhy?â
Because I almost lost you.
Because if you fallâ
Because if someone looks at you wrongâ
Because I canât watch you break.
Instead, he offers a flat explanation: âYouâre still healing.â
You step back, studying him the same way you had in the hospital.
âYouâre keeping me in here.â
âNo.â
âYes.â
Silence stretches taut between the pair.
Joshua cards through his hair; frustration begins to seep through the cracks of his careful composure. âYou walked into a doorframe yesterday.â
âIâm adjusting.â
âYou almost fell on the stairs.â
âI caught myself.â
âYou donât see things coming on your left!â
âAnd I will learn.â
Your voice doesn't climb octaves, and that makes him feel worse.
He paralyzes with terrorâhis jaw ticking and his brow furrows a deep valley.
Your edges soften a quarter. âJoshua,â you breathe his name velvety.
He swallows a lump.
âI lost an eye,â you point out. âNot my legs. Not my mind.â
His shoulders slops down with guilt burdening across his face.
âI canât lose you too,â he confesses with barely audible words.
Something flickers across your face. You take a faint step closer with slow deliberation, navigating the space. You stop a few inches away from him.
âYou saved me,â you acknowledge. âI won't turn my back on you anymore.â
He hesitates for a moment, unable to bear the thought of losing you; he pulls you into a careful embrace, his arms holding you as if you were delicate glass.
You stand rigid like a statue for a moment, your mind's wheel gets stuck at his action, but gradually your hands come up to claw his shirt.
Although over his shoulder, your open eye remains fixed on the bedroom doorwayâ
On the hall beyond it.
On the rest of the house.
And the world waiting outside.
Joshua didnât mean to make it a prison.
It just⊠became one.
The curtains began to stay drawn.
At first, it was because the light gave you headaches. Then, because the neighbors might see and 'misunderstand' their relationship. Later came the excuse that your eye needed âconsistent lighting.â The room settles into a dim, gray half-world where time blurs and shadows stretch long across the walls.
He moves your things in piece by piece.
Your clothes.
Your make-up and jewelry.
Your books and necessities.
Still, thereâs no trace of your any devices. When you ask for your phone, he smiles the way salespeople do before denying a refund. The excuse arrives polished to perfection: "Your eye needs rest; screens would only make it worse, and maybe itâs healthier this way anywayâusing your recovery to take a break from the world outside.â
"You wonât need to go downstairs," he says lightly after checking all your belongings are in place. âItâs easier this way.â
Easier.
You stop arguing after a few futile attempts.
One afternoon you notice a white sheet draped over the mirror, tucked neatly at the corners.
You didn't ask him to cover it.
âWhy did you do that?â You ask.
âSo you donât have to look at it,â he replies evenly without meeting your eye.
You don't mention that it won't stop you from standing in front of the bathroom mirror, fixedly gazing at it at two in the morning.
You don't tell him when you mourn your missing window to your soulâyou wonder what his looks like too.
A few nights later, you often wake to the faint sound of movement.
The noise drifts in from somewhere beyond the bedroom door. Then comes the soft click of the handle. The door eases open. Closes again.
You keep your breathing slow and steady, watching through barely parted lashes as he trudges to your bedside and looms over you.
He doesnât touch you.
He only watches your chest rise and fall.
Counting.
Joshua whispers something under his breath.
âStill here.â
The world beyond the room began to feel theoretical.
You could hear it sometimesâdishes clinking in the kitchen, the indistinct murmur of the television, the distant rumble of a car passing outside.
But you donât see it.
Every time you reach for the door, Joshua seems to materialize.
âIâve got it.â
âDo you need something?â
âTell me what you want.â
One afternoon, you decide to test him.
âI want to sit on the porch.â
He freezes.
The silence stretches taut a bit too long.
âItâs windy,â he says finally.
You tilt your head slightly. âThe windows are closed.â
He doesnât smile.
The eeriest part is not his hovering.
It is his calm.
He never raises his voiceânever snapping and doesn't even let anger crease his expression.
He is just watchful.
And measured.
Like he is guarding something fragile.
Like you are not a person anymore.
Like you were an artifact salvaged from rubble.
Your depth perception begins to improve slowly. You practice it when he isnât lookingâtossing a pen from one hand to the other. Reaching for the glass of water without spilling it. Walking the perimeter of the room in the dark.
You stop bumping into things.
But he doesnât seem to notice.
Or maybe he didnât want to.
Another night, a metallic click pulls you from sleep.
A soft, deliberate click.
You stay still.
A second click follows a moment later.
Your right eye strains against the dark until the shape near the door slowly becomes Joshua.
His fingers slips away from the doorknob. Something small disappears into his pocket with practiced ease.
Then he turns toward you.
Unaware that youâre awake.
He walks back to the chair beside your bed and sinks into it heavily, elbows braced against his knees, eyes fixed on you in the darkness.
Watching the rise and fall of your chest.
Counting again.
The next night, he didnât come.
No creaking footsteps outside your bedroom door. No soft click of the handle turning at late hours. No looming figure sitting in the chair beside your bed, counting your breaths in the dark.
The silence feels unnatural after days of constant observation, and eventually the restlessness gnawing beneath your skin becomes unbearable enough for you to slip out from beneath the sheets and tiptoe downstairs.
The house is steeped in darkness. Moonlight spills through the tall windows in pale silver stripes, illuminating just enough of the floor for you to navigate without crashing into furniture. A gentle late-April breeze drifted by, fluttering the curtains in its wake.
Every step makes the old wood sigh beneath your weight, and you pause after each creak, listening carefully for movement somewhere upstairs.
Nothing.
You didnât come downstairs to escape. You already know the front door will be locked, the windows probably sealed shut in some discreet way Joshua had taken care of long before you ever woke up here. Running would be pointless in your condition anyway.
You are simply bored out of your mind.
There are only so many hours a person can spend staring at closed curtains and counting cracks in the ceiling before the walls begin pressing inward.
So you wander.
The rooms all feel unmistakably Joshua. Carefully arranged. Controlled. The living room is decorated in muted colors and sharp lines, all expensive furniture that looks barely touched, as though it exists more for appearance than comfort. Neatly stacked books line dark wooden shelves, every spine aligned with obsessive precision. A chessboard rests atop a side table midway through a match, black pieces cornering white in a slow, merciless defeat.
The dining room is equally pristine, with polished silverware laid out inside a glass cabinet and long curtains drawn tightly over the windows despite the hour. Not a single object seems misplaced. Not a single sign suggests another person has ever lived here besides him.
Even the kitchen carries the same unsettling orderliness. Every knife hangs in perfect alignment. Every surface gleams spotless beneath the moonlight. The refrigerator hums softly in the silence, sounding strangely loud in the empty house.
Your gaze eventually lands on a door left slightly ajar at the end of the corridor.
Your steps move faintly.
For the first time since arriving here, something has been left open.
You plod toward it cautiously before nudging the door wider with your fingertips and peering inside.
A grand piano sits in the center of the room, bathed entirely in moonlight.
For a moment, you simply stare. Then a quiet clap of excitement escapes you before you can stop it.
The sight of it feels absurdly personal, like stumbling across an old friend in unfamiliar territory.
You drift toward the piano almost instinctively and lower yourself onto the cushioned bench, your fingers hovering over the keys for only a second before muscle memory takes over.
The first notes ring softly through the room, delicate enough to blend with the sleeping house. Gradually, the melody unfurls into Clair de Lune, smooth and aching and familiar beneath your fingertips.
If there is another thing capable of exposing the soul as nakedly as eyes do, it is music.
The piano had been your best friend since you were seven years old, the only thing that understood how to translate feelings too tangled to speak aloud into something beautiful. Your fingers know the language instinctively now, moving across the keys with effortless intimacy as the melody swells quietly through the dark.
For the first time in days, you almost forget where you are.
A sharp clap suddenly echoes behind you.
You jolt violently, your hands slipping from the keys as you whirl around to find Joshua leaning against the wall.
But you are not surprised.
The moment you found the door left ajar, you already knew tonight was intentional.
A test.
A reward.
Maybe simply another one of his experiments.
That is why you never bothered trying to stay quiet. Why you had allowed yourself to sink fully into the music instead of holding back.
Joshuaâs expression is unreadable in the dim light, but there is something disturbingly intent in the way he watches you now.
Like he had been listening long before you ever touched the first key.
He pushes himself away from the wall slowly, the sharp sound of his applause fading back into silence as he walks further into the room.
The moonlight catches briefly against his watch, against the faint crease of his rolled sleeves, before he stops beside the piano. Close enough now that you can smell cedarwood and the lingering trace of frosty night air clinging to his clothes.
âYou play beautifully,â he praises.
The compliment should sound ordinary. Instead, it settles strangely beneath your skin, coming from him, spoken with that same unnerving attentiveness he uses when watching you sleep.
You let out a small breath and turn slightly back toward the keys, your fingers resting against polished ivory. âYou left the door open on purpose.â
A pause stretches behind you.
Then, softly, almost amused, âAnd you still walked in.â
Your hands resume moving before you consciously decide to play again. The melody returns quieter this time, slower; the notes flowing softly into the dark while Joshua remains standing beside you in silence.
You can feel him watching your hands.
Not your face.
Not your injury.
Just your hands gliding across the piano keys as if he is trying to understand something through them.
After a while, the bench dips slightly beneath the added weight.
Joshua sits beside you without asking.
The warmth radiating from his shoulder feels startling after so many cold, lonely nights upstairs, and suddenly you become acutely aware of every tiny movementâthe brush of fabric when he shifts, the slow sound of his breathing beneath the music, the way his knee nearly touches yours without quite doing it.
Neither of you speaks for several moments.
The room fills instead with piano notes and moonlight and something heavier threading silently between the pauses.
Then he reaches forward unexpectedly, his hand sliding over yours atop the keys.
Not forceful.
Not restraining.
Just enough pressure to still your fingers mid-note.
The unfinished chord lingers softly in the air as your breath catches.
âYou hide inside music,â he murmurs, eyes lowered toward your joined hands. âItâs the only time you stop looking dead.â
His thumb shifts slightly against your knuckles before he finally lifts his gaze to yours.
And for the first time since arriving here, the silence between you no longer feels entirely stagnant.
The silence stretches after that, neither comfortable nor tense, but something suspends carefully between the two.
Joshuaâs hand remains loosely over yours for another moment before he finally withdraws it, though not completely. His fingers linger near the edge of your wrist, close enough that you still feel their warmth against your skin.
âYou stopped playing,â he observes quietly.
You glance down at the keys. âYou interrupted me.â
A faint smile ghosts across his face at that, small enough to vanish almost immediately. He leans back slightly on the bench, one arm resting along the edge behind you while the other taps absentmindedly against his knee in time with some rhythm only he can hear.
âYou knew I was listening,â he says after a while.
It isnât phrased like a question.
You hesitate before answering. âI figured the open door was too convenient.â
Joshua hums softly in acknowledgment, his gaze drifting toward the piano again. âMost people wouldâve been trying to escape.â
âBut you made sure I couldnât.â
The words leave your mouth more lightly than intended, though the meaning beneath them remains sharp enough to settle heavily between you.
For a second, neither of you moves.
Then he exhales through his nose, almost thoughtfully, and tilts his head slightly toward you. âYou couldâve screamed while you were down here.â
âYou wouldâve heard me.â
âI hear everything in this house.â
The statement should feel threatening. Somehow, spoken in his low, even voice beside the soft moonlit piano, it lands differently. More intimate than dangerous.
Your fingers drift unconsciously across a few keys again, producing a quiet string of absent notes. Joshua watches the movement with that same unwavering focus that always makes you feel pinned beneath his attention.
âYou watch me a lot,â you murmur before you can stop yourself.
Something unreadable flickers across his expression.
âI like knowing youâre still here.â
The room falls quiet again after that.
Outside, the wind brushes softly against the windows, stirring the curtains just enough for the moonlight to shift across the floorboards. He remains beside you, close enough that your shoulders nearly touch now, his presence no longer looming but surrounding.
Slowly, almost cautiously, he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers pausing briefly near your temple as though resisting the urge to linger longer.
The gesture is so unexpectedly gentle that it unsettles you far more than his watching ever did.
His gaze lowers afterwardânot to your injury this time, but to your mouth for the briefest second before returning to your eyes.
Then, very quietly, Joshua says, âPlay something else for me.â
âShould I play you instead?â you murmur with a mocking little scoff, expecting at least some reaction from him.
But Joshua only looks at you.
Unblinking.
Waiting.
The silence stretches long enough to turn the joke into something else entirely.
You let out another breath of disbelief in your smile. âGod, youâre impossible.â
Yet he still says nothing.
Well, he asked for itâa part of you wants to see if heâll finally crackâyou shift sideways and climb into his lap.
For the first time all night, he goes completely still beneath you.
The piano falls silent behind you as your fingers curl loosely against his shoulders, and suddenly the room feels far more smaller than before.
His gaze searches your face carefully, intensely, as if heâs trying to memorize every flicker of expression you make.
âWell?â you whisper teasingly. âWhat song do you think I sound like?â
His hands settle carefully at your waist, not pulling you closer yet, simply holding you there as though testing whether youâll change your mind and move away.
But you donât.
The moonlight spills across the piano keys behind you, pale ivory glowing softly in the dark while the unfinished melody still hangs faintly in the room like the last breath of a performance.
âSomething dangerous,â Joshua says at last, his voice low enough that you feel it more than hear it.
Your lips curve slightly. âThatâs not a song.â
âNo,â he murmurs, eyes lowering briefly to your mouth again. âBut it sounds like one.â
The air between you thickens after that.
Joshuaâs restraint had always felt frightening beforeâhis stillness, the way he watched instead of touchedâbut now, sitting in his lap with his hands warm against your waist, it feels like standing too close to a thunderstorm waiting to break.
You become painfully aware of every tiny movement. The slow drag of his thumb against your side. The measured rise and fall of his breathing beneath yours. The way his gaze lingers on you with terrifying concentration, as though nothing else in the world exists beyond this room.
Your fingers drift unconsciously toward the collar of his shirt, grazing the fabric there.
He exhales softly at the contact.
Such a small sound.
Yet it alters the atmosphere instantly, like the first piano key pressed before a symphony begins.
Then his hand slides upward along your spine, slow enough to make your pulse stumble, and suddenly the distance between you disappears altogether.
The kiss feels less like affection and more like surrendering to something inevitable. Slow at firstâhesitant and careful. Then deeper when your hands tighten against him and his composure finally fractures beneath your mouth.
Somewhere in the haze of tangled breaths and moonlight, your back brushes the piano keys accidentally.
A soft discordant note rings through the room.
Neither of you pulls away.
Another note follows when Joshuaâs hand slips lower against you, deeper and richer this time, blending quietly with the unsteady sound escaping your throat.
The piano begins answering every movement in scattered murmurs of musicâlow trembling chords, broken half-notes, sharp gasps of sound whenever your bodies shift against the keys.
And eventually even your moans seem to melt into it, threading together with the instrument until the entire room sounds like one long aching composition played entirely out of breath.
The next morning, when he leaves briefly to shower, you plod quietly to the bedroom door.
Your fingers curl around the knob and turn it carefully, expecting the familiar resistance of a lock, but the handle gives way easily beneath your hand. The door opens barely an inch before stopping abruptly against something solid.
You pause.
It's not locked.
Just⊠restrained.
Frowning faintly, you try again with more force this time, but the result is the same. The handle turns completely, yet the door refuses to open wider than that narrow sliver.
A strange calm settles over you despite the warning bells beginning to ring somewhere deep in your mind. Crouching down, you try to peer through the narrow gap.
A chair sits wedged beneath the handle from the outside.
It's placed not out of caution but strategically. The door has shut on the canary bird's face, leaving it only to flutter and chirp around in its cage.
You straightened up tardily.
The room cages in, feeling smaller and the air grows thinner against your lungs, but the panic never arrives.
You simply step back and return to the edge of the bed, lowering yourself onto it with eerie composure, your hands folding neatly together in your lap as though preparing for a conversation already rehearsed in your mind.
By the time Joshua returns, damp hair clinging slightly to his forehead while he absently dries it with a towel, your expression has smoothed itself into something unreadable.
He smiles softly the moment he sees you.
âMorning.â
You hold his gaze without acknowledging his greeting.
âHow long?â You ask quietly.
His movements falter almost imperceptibly, fingers stilling against the towel. âHow long what?â
âHow long have you been blocking the door?â
For the briefest fraction of a second, his smile slips.
âIâm not blocking it.â
âThereâs a chair under the handle.â
Joshua hesitates before speaking again. âThatâs only so it doesnât swing open.â
Your eyes remain fixed on him.
âIt opens inward.â
Silence floods the room.
Something shifts visibly in his expression then, though it is not anger and not irritation either. It resembles fear too closely for comfortâraw, trembling fear struggling beneath all that careful composure.
âI canât let anything happen to you,â he says at last, the words escaping more like confession than explanation.
You study him with the same detached concentration you once used on your own reflection after the accident. Blankly. Clinically.
âYou think the world is what took my eye.â
His breathing turns uneven almost immediately. You struck the center of it too easily.
âIt did,â he insists.
âNo,â you reply softly. âA moment did.â
Joshua takes a step toward you, fingers tightening unconsciously around the damp towel in his hands. âYou donât understand,â he says, voice beginning to crack beneath the strain. âI saw you clutch your bleeding eye, screaming in pain. I sawââ He swallows hard. âI wonât survive that twice.â
The room becomes unbearably still after that. Every object remains perfectly arranged around you, every curtain neatly drawn, every corner controlled with suffocating precision, yet Joshua himself suddenly looks like the only unstable thing inside it.
Slowly, you rise from the bed.
You move around it carefully, deliberately, until only a foot of space remains between you.
âI survived,â you say firmly.
He shakes his head immediately, as though survival itself had never been the point.
Your gaze drifts briefly toward the restrained door before returning to him again.
âYouâre afraid Iâll break,â you murmur.
His eyes glisten faintly in the dim morning light.
You tilt your head slightly.
âBut JoshuaâŠâ
Your voice remains unnervingly calmâgentle, even.
âIâm not the one whoâs breaking.â
The words linger heavily between you.
And for the first time since the hospital, his expression shifts into something uncertain, as though he no longer knows whether he is protecting you from the world outside the roomâor from himself.
"You are afraid," you point out.
The atmosphere shifts almost imperceptibly after that. Joshua had been standing close enough for you to feel the lingering warmth from the shower still clinging to his skin, his hands half-raised like he might reach for you if you sway even slightly, but now you straighten fully beneath his gaze, posture smoothing into something composed and deliberate.
Your visible eye fixes on his.
âAnd youâre hiding something from me.â
He stills.
There is no accusation in your voice, no sharpness meant to provoke him. The certainty alone is enough.
For a moment he simply watches you, jaw tightening faintly before his expression smooths itself back into careful control. âIâm protecting you,â he says again, quieter this time, as though repeating it enough might make it true.
âYou say my father is still angry. That heâll harm me if I go out.â Your voice is steady, almost detached. âBut you wonât let me go speak to him. You wonât let me make it right.â
His jaw tightens and something flickers behind his eyes, brief enough that most people would miss it entirely.
You donât.
âIt was me who rejected your marriage proposal,â you continue softly. âIf there are consequences, Iâll deal with them myself.â
The words land heavier than any shouting ever could, followed by a silence that stretches thin between you.
Joshuaâs grip tightens unconsciously around the damp towel in his hands before he finally exhales through his nose and looks away for the first time since entering the room. âYou donât understand the situation.â
âAnd Mr. Hong,â you add curtly, with deliberation, âyou still havenât caught the man who threw acid in my face.â
That makes him look back immediately.
You havenât called him Mr. Hong in days.
You used to reserve it for moments when distance was intentional. Joshua notices the shift instantly. You can tell by the way his expression hardens for only a second before softening again into something almost pleading.
He inhales slowly. âThe investigation is ongoing.â
âThatâs what youâve said for weeks.â
âYou were unconscious.â
âAnd before that?â
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out immediately. His gaze flickers briefly toward the covered mirror near the corner of the room before returning to you again, and the movement is subtle enough that he probably thinks you wonât notice.
You do.
âYou tell me my father is furious,â you went on. âThat heâs unstable. That heâll hurt me if I leave this house.â A faint tilt of your head. âBut you donât let me see him. You donât let me call him. You donât even let me step outside.â
Joshua takes a slow breath with a step back, though it does little to steady him. âIâm trying to keep you safe.â
âFrom him?â
âYes.â
Your gaze remains fixed on his face. âOr from the truth?â
The room feels strangely smaller after that question; the silence pressing inward from every direction. He drags a hand down his face slowly, composure beginning to fray around the edges in a way youâve never seen before. He heaves out as he throws the damp towel carelessly on the bed.
âYou donât understand how dangerous this is,â he says.
âThen explain it to me.â
His breathing grows uneven. Not dramatically. Just enough for you to hear it in the quiet room.
When he doesnât answer, you do it for him instead.
âMy father opposed your expansion deal, didn't he?â you murmur a guess. âHe probably rejected your terms publicly.â Your gaze never leaves his. âI rejected you with much less crowd.â
Joshuaâs eyes sharpen immediately. âYou think I would hurt you because of that?â
âI donât know what to think anymore.â
The honesty in your voice lands heavier than anger would have.
A tense silence blankets the room.
âYou were there that evening,â you continued after a moment. âYou were the first one to reach me. You were the one who pulled me away.â
His throat moves as he swallows.
âYou told me it was some hired criminal. Some disgruntled competitor.â
âIt was.â
âThen why havenât you found him?â
His mouth opens and closes like a dying fish.
For the first time since you woke up in the hospital, he looks genuinely cornered by you, and the realization settles strangely in your chest. You had grown so used to his control that seeing cracks appear beneath it feels almost surreal.
âIf my father truly wanted to punish me, he would confront me. He wouldnât hide.â You tilt your head slightly. âAnd he certainly wouldnât miss the opportunity to tell me, âI told you so.ââ
Joshuaâs lips part, but no words crawl out.
âYou kept me in this room,â you continue. âYou covered every mirror. You blocked the door with a chair.â Your voice remains calm enough to be unsettling. âYou speak to me as if Iâm something fragile enough to break apart if handled incorrectly.â
His jaw tightens. âBecause youâve been through something traumatic.â
âBut you never let me see the reports. Or the footage. Or anything that actually happened.â
His voice drops a few octaves. âBecause you donât need to relive it.â
âOr because you donât want me seeing something.â
That finally breaks something in him.
Not loudly. Not violently. Just a small, unmistakable fracture in the careful composure he has been maintaining since the hospital.
âYou think I did this?â Joshua asks evenly.
You hold his gaze without flinching.
âI think,â you say after a moment, âthat youâre terrified of losing control.â
The words hit him harder than an accusation ever could. You see it immediately in the way he recoils slightly as if it had struck him somewhere tender.
"I would never hurt you," he says, and this time the words sound bruised rather than defensive.
âI know."
That answer somehow makes his expression worse.
âYou wouldnât throw acid at me yourself,â you continue softly. âBut you would decide what Iâm allowed to know. Where Iâm allowed to go. Who Iâm allowed to speak to.â Your eye sharpens faintly. âYou would decide which version of the truth Iâm permitted to live with.â
Joshuaâs hands begin trembling almost imperceptibly at his sides.
âYour father threatened me,â he blurts out. âAfter you rejected me. He said I would regret involving you in my world.â
âAnd you believed he would scar his own daughter to make a point?â
Joshua hesitates.
Only briefly, but long enough.
Understanding doesnât hit you like a wave. It settles slowly inside you after that, cold and heavy rather than sudden.
âWho benefits?â You ask.
His breathing becomes uneven.
âYou moved me into your house,â you murmur. âYou isolated me from everyone else. You became my only source of information.â Your gaze drifts briefly toward the blocked door before returning to him again. âMy only protection.â
âThatâs not what this is.â
âYou became indispensable.â
The room falls silent again. Outside the windows, wind brushes softly against the curtains, stirring them just enough for the shadows to shift faintly across the floorboards.
You take one slow step toward him.
âI rejected you,â you carry on. âNot because I doubted your power."
Your expression barely changes.
âBecause I was afraid of this.â
âAfraid of what?â
A quiet breath leaves you.
âOf loving someone who only knows how to love himself.â
The words linger heavily between you.
Joshua looks at you differently after thatânot like something fragile anymore, nor like someone he needs to be carefully preserved. He looks at you like someone steadily slipping beyond his control, and the fear in his expression deepens in a way that feels far more honest than anything else he has said tonight.
Outside the room, the house remains unnervingly quiet.
And for the first time since the accident, you begin wondering whether the danger you had been warned about had ever truly been outside this house at all.
The frightening part is that even now, standing right in front of him, you still cannot tell how much of Joshua is performing and how much of him is real. You had always been good at recognizing others' acts but you never have been good at putting one on your own.
His performance could really rival the stars of the theater, you think.
You walk closer.
"Let me ask you again, Mr. Hong, did you catch the hitman?"
His face ashes at your question. He looks away briefly before meeting your gaze again; his jaw clenching taut. "Yes. He's been dealt with," he says coldly, not elaborating on what exactly he had done to the person responsible for taking your eye.
The answer didnât surprise you. You had known ever since he appeared behind you in the bathroom mirrorâhis clothes stained with blood. In that moment, you understood he had been dealt with that very night.
"How so?"
Joshua hesitates before answering honestly, "I had him brought to my warehouse. My men... they broke every bone in his body. Then I personally shot him in the head seven times." His voice was crisp and detached, revealing how ruthless he truly was.
"Oh, so you silenced him. Not a bad strategy," you opine.
His eyes expand an inch at your nonchalant response. He expected shock, maybe even disgust. Instead, you simply accept his brutal methods with a calm nod. He feels a strange sense of respect for your understanding of his world. "You're not... disgusted?" he asks curiously, tilting his head.
"Mr. Hong, it's you who arranged everything. Why act so shocked now?"
He throws his head back and laughs his head off. You have a point. He should stop treating you like a fragile woman. You have the capability of being his equal, understanding his world better than most. He replies to your previous question instead, "Yes, I silenced him. No loose ends. No information at risk of getting out."
You stare at him for a good minute, seeing his mask echo off with his laughter lifts a rock off your chest.
"Did you take my eye because I rejected you?" You inquire out of the blue.
His laughter fades as he takes a step back, his gaze settling on your face with quiet vehement. The calm acceptance of your injury, the understanding of his methods... and now this direct question. He realizes you are not just beautiful, but intelligent and unfiltered. "Yes," he admits curtly.
You scoff, "What a fragile ego you've got."
He freezes.
For a fleeting moment, an unsettling silence descends upon the room.
No woman has ever dared to speak to him like this. People fear Joshua Hong too much to challenge him, too much to even breathe wrong around him. Yet you stand across from him with one ruined eye and the audacity to mock the very ego that destroyed it.
You look at him with sharp amusement, as though his violence is nothing more than an inconvenient character flaw.
And Godâhe finds it intoxicating.
Something vile and rancid flickers behind his eyes.
âWatch your mouth,â he breathes, the faint warning far more alarming than any shouting ever could be.
You stare at him in silenceânot a trace of fear creases your expression.
Joshua scrutinizes your face, waiting for the flinch that never comes. Refusing to look away, your one eye remains fixed on him with a steadiness sharp enough to challenge him outright.
His hand reaches out to clip your chin firmly without his conscious thought, tilting your face up more. "You know what your problem is?" He growls, his words grating like gravel. "No filter. No fear." His thumb drags brusquely across your bottom lip. "And one less eye to roll at me."
His lips mashed against yours in an animalistic claim. It's a hungry attempt meant to consume you wholeâa war of colliding teeth and tongue invading your mouth. He sucks up all your breath as his heat steams you up. The calm gentleman act is peeling off him as his grip slides from your chin to the back of your neck, holding you exactly where he wants you while his mouth devours yours, swallowing every smart remark before it can leave your tongue. The heat from him is overwhelmingâanger, tension, wantâall tangled together.
When he finally pulls back, barely an inch, his breath ghosts against your lips.
âMarry me,â he proposes while still panting.
"No."
Joshua leans back more, his eyes brewing with rage and desire. No one ever says no to him. Especially not after a kiss like that. His hand clenches on your nape with untamed possessiveness. "Yes," he corrects, his face only a few inches from yours with his hot breath fanning over your mouth. "You will marry me and wear my ring. My last name. My everything."
"Why do you want to marry me so badly?" You blurt out with a huff.
He searches your face, seeing the confusion and stubbornness in your one good eye. He wanted to marry you because you rejected him. Because you stood up to him. Because you were beautiful, intelligent, and fearless. But he admits to none of that. "Because I want what I can't have," he says simply.
"You will never have it."
An ominous smile curves up his lips at your defiance.
He likes this part of youâthe refusal to bend, the fact that you donât throw yourself at his feet the way everyone else seems to. Your resistance only sharpens his interest, it feeds something possessive and relentless in him.
"We'll see about that," he murmurs, his thumb pressing coarsely against your bottom lip again, firm enough to demand your attention as his gaze locks onto yours.
âI always get what I want,â he whispers softly, the promise in his voice far more menacing than if heâd raised it.
âEventually.â
Joshua leans in closer, his words soaking in a perilous intent. "You think I'm joking? I took your eye because I was angry. I'm offering marriage because I'm intrigued. What do you think I'll do when I'm tired of waiting?"
"Explode with anger?" You snigger.
A deep, stormy hue whirls in his eyes.
You had no idea how dangerous he was.
He watches you in silence for a momentâyour calm expression, your single beautiful eye studying him without a trace of fear. Most people broke beneath his stare. You only looked back harder every single time.
âYes,â he agrees with his words kneaded with deceptive softness. âAngry.â His jaw clicks. âYou rejected me. You called me an animal. You slapped me.â A deliberate icy pause blows by. âSo I took an eye.â
Your expression doesnât change.
âYou canât change your nature,â you reply evenly. âA pig stays a pig its entire life.â
Something boils in him with raucous gurgling, bubbles forming then popping again and again.
His hand slides from the back of your neck to your throat, fingers wrapping around it with controlled pressureânot enough to truly hurt, just enough to steal the air from your lungs. He pulls you closer until his face hovers inches from yours again, eyes blazing with fury and something elseâ
Excitement.
"Careful with your words," he growls. "This pig will eat you alive."
You struggle against his grip, but your attitude remains flippant with another smile curving up your lips.
"You can't reverse the food chain either," you taunt.
The silence stretches taut between you, then he throws his head back and lets out a loud guffaw. God, you are smart, sharp-tongued, and incredibly foolish. Although he admits that it's refreshing to see someone not scared of him.
When his gaze settles on you again, it's heavier, with edges curved with obsession. His voice drops an octave when he speaks again. "You know what your problem is?" He didn't give you a chance to answer, snapping his fingers instead. "No filter. No fear. One eye."
Joshua releases your throat instead of squeezing tighter; his fingers trail down your neck with ghost touches as they tickle like a feather. Your lack of fear keeps fascinating him more and more. The most fearless man would at least be terrified of him by now, but not you. "You'll really call me every animal imaginable, huh?" he ponders. "Dog, pig, beast..."
His lips twitched at witnessing your quiet expression. No smart remarks. No insults. Just one beautiful eye staring blankly, giving nothing away. He realizes somethingâ"You're like a snake,"he mutters faintly, almost to himself. "No reaction. No sound. One sudden bite..." he chortles.
"Snakes are two-facedâI'm not," you point out with no shame.
His eyes enlarge an inch at your curt response, then he laughs again. You are right. You aren't sneaky or two-faced like a snake. In fact, you are direct and honest, even when insulting him. "You know what?" he asks out of the blue.
"I'm going to marry you whether you like it or not. You can keep your sharp tongue and your one eye. Maybe I'll even let you keep calling me names." His touch ceases on your neck as he steps back abruptly, making you inhale big gulps of air. "Consider it your engagement gift."
Joshua watches you regain your composure with no fluctuation of anger or fear, not even helplessness in it. He was used to women fainting at his feet, crying happy tears at his proposals. You just sat there like a statue with your one good eye staring blankly at him like you couldn't care less. "You haven't screamed or slapped me for so long," he grumbles.
You stay silent, pondering over your available cards as you calculate your best feasible option. "You want to marry me? Then you must give me in dowry what I ask for," you challenge, setting up a condition.
His eyebrows shot up at your sudden demand. No woman would dare to ask for a dowry from him. They would be too busy thanking their lucky stars for marrying a powerful man like him. "Oh?" He takes a step closer to you again. "And what exactly do you want?"
"I want your eye," your lips curve up.
His expression freezes. He thought you'd ask for money, cars, houses... but an eye? His hand automatically touches his good eye. "My eye?" He repeats dubiously.
No, you don't resemble a snake but an orcaâit is known for waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
An involuntary chill travels up his spine.
"An eye for an eye, fair enough, isn't it?" You arch a brow, lolling your headâdaring him to reject your bold demand.
Joshua stares at you for a long moment, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn't catch up to. He had expected many things from this woman, but not this. Not such cold, calculated revenge. He let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "Fair enough," he agrees with no hesitation.
A haughty smile blooms on your face.
He really isn't joking or bluffing anymore. You want his eye? Fine. He respects the hell out of that ruthless demand, although he doubts you have the guts to carry it out. Most women want jewelry or cars, but you want him to experience the same blindness he'd given you. "You know what?" he asks suddenly.
"No wonder they say don't get into arguments with intelligent women. You're dangerous. One eye. No filter. No mercy," he snorts, finding this whole situation whimsical and clearly still doubting your ability to carry through it. He heaves out, carding his digits through his strands messily.
"You realize if I give you my eye, I'll be half blind?" He coos as if giving a toddler with explosive tantrums a last chance before they fuck things up.
"Serves you right. You must first blind yourself like you did me," you scoff and roll your eye.
An amused smile spreads across his lips at your bitter response. He finds himself strangely attracted to this woman's brutal honesty and justice more and more. "Fucking perfect," he snickers, echoing a sharp clap and leaves the bedroom to fetch his favorite dagger. After a couple of minutes he comes back with it and sits down on the bed in front of you.
"Do it," he says as he drops the dagger into your hand with glee and ridicule sparkling in his eyes.
"I'll take my sweet time," you pass a half-smile as you slide off its sheath.
Joshua lets out a chortle even though he doubts you meant every wordâyou'd make him suffer slowly with sheer anticipation of it, then will chicken out like he expects you to.
He spreads his legs further, getting comfortable as if preparing himself for a long torture session. His good eye keeps an eye on you. "Take your time," he glib with a challenge.
He watches you straighten your back and study the dagger. He feels a strange mix of fear and... exhilaration. You trudge off to lock the door, and when you return, he realizes this is actually happening. You are really going to blind him like he blinded you.
His breath hitches as you reach out and grab his wrist, forcing his hand flat on the silk sheet. Your grip is surprisingly strong. He feels the cold metal of the dagger press against his palm, then it ghosts against his knuckles, making him bite his lip as he hisses. Your legs bracket his own as you straddle him, pushing his back to the silk sheet. The icy blade travels up to his face, pressing lightly under his right eye.
Joshua breaks into a cold sweat, his heart hammering fiercely against his ribcage as the dagger now hovers mere millimeters away from his eyeball. He watches the cold steel display a trembling messâa reflection of his own trembling self. Abruptly, he grabs your wrist with his free hand, stopping the blade.
"Wait," he hoarsely pants.
His grip on your wrist is a constraint, but not a painful one. His good eye locks onto your single eye; a concoction of fear, arousal, and something else stirs in his gaze. He is giving you a chance to stop, but also testing your resolve.
"Scared?" You arch your brow tauntingly.
He let out a titter, his thumb rubbing against your wrist. "Terrified." He admits softly. He is terrified of the pain, yes. But also terrified of the raw power you hold over him in this moment.
"Good," you grin. Joshua almost scoffs at how grinning you have gotten. He hasn't seen you so jolly before, but he also never expected that he would one day end up under today's dooming circumstances.
His right eye flickers down to the blade pressing under it, then back up to your single, merciless eye. He'd never felt so helpless, so completely at someone else's mercy. And he finds it strangely... arousing. "You're actually going to do it," he acknowledges the elephant in the room.
Your lack of responseâno smirk, no sigh, no hesitationâsends a shiver down his spine. You are serious. Deadly serious. He takes a deep breath as he steadies himself. He is about to experience the same darkness he'd forced upon you.
"Do it!"
Joshua watches your jaw tick, your knuckles turning white as you grip the dagger handle tighter. He sees your single eye concentrate back on his right eye, realizing you are not going to give him mercy like he'd given youânone at all. He hisses as the blade abruptly presses into his pupil, blooming a dull ache.
He closes his good eye, bracing himself for more pain. He feels the cold metal press in harder, then suddenlyâ
"Ahhh!"
He cries out as you plunge the dagger straight into his eye socket. Blood splatters across your face like a fountain. He screams his lungs out, trying to hold onto your wrist as he drags his nails across your skin in a futile attempt. His bloody crescent moons travel up to your face, making you screech.
His digits claw at your eye patch, punching into it, which echoes by a loud crack of the conformer breaking with it. A gush of blood pours down your eye patch, his knuckles are now pressing much closer to your hollow socket behind the patch.
He screamsâyou scream.
"AHHH!"
"AHHH!"
Despite the excruciating pain throbbing behind your eye patch, you fight against his grip, trying to press the dagger more into his eye socket.
"Sir? Ma'am? Is everything okay?" One of his men starts banging on the door, and it only gets more insistent and louder as they receive only screams in reply.
"Hello? Please open the door!" The doorknob twists but refuses to budge open, as you had locked it earlier.
The intolerable pain paralyzes him, making it easier for you to hold him downâthe world almost blacks out on his end.
You laugh manically, thrusting it in and out over and over again.
After you had your funâroughly seventeen stabs into his eyeâyou do take your sweet time cutting the attached substances to his eyeball and scooping it out while ignoring the obnoxious banging on the door.
Joshua hisses sharply, his body going rigid as the pain shoots through his skull.
He'd given you one eyeânow you have returned the favor. He felt hot blood trickle down his cheek, and he bit back another cry as an agonizing pain threatened to overtake his consciousness.
He is officially half-blind like you.
He opens his remaining good eye to look at you. His injured eye is weeping bloody tears, and you are more than happy to wipe them away; in fact, you even coo at him as you wipe them off.
He stares at you, his remaining good eye brewing with a mix of pain, shock, and something elseârespect. You have done exactly what he had done to you. He reaches up and touches his injured eye socket gently, wincing at the pain.
You get off him with his eyeball in your hand. Crossing the room, you put his eyeball on an unused ashtray, which was resting on the nightstand.
Your feet amble to the door before they tear it down.
You hand over the ashtray with instructions to store it away. Joshua's right hand-man boils red as you nonchalantly instruct the maid standing beside him, whose face is draining fast of all the colors at the unhinged sight of an eyeball on the ashtray.
The right hand-man looks over your shoulder to find Joshua still bleeding on the bed. He wants to scream at you, but he thinks better of it and gives a curt nod, and shouts at the poor maid to hurry up and bring in the first aid box.
His right-hand man knows Joshua is an unhinged man himself, and he was fully capable of avoiding this catastrophe. He gulps down his questions and scrams off.
By the time the maid returns with the first aid box, he genuinely feels nauseous and lightheaded.
He put a hand over his injured eye socket, still processing the fact that you had actually gone through with it. He had expected guilt, hesitation, mercyâbut you gave him none of those things. You gave him exactly what he'd given you. "You're insane," he mutters flatly.
You laugh at his comment, licking his blood off the dagger.
The maid flinches at the odd, suffocating atmosphere and swiftly starts to bandage his eye while he sits there stunned and bleeding. Luckily for him, the maid is a drop-out med student, so she can deal with this deranged injury and situation. Although he will still have to pay a proper visit to the doctor later.
Joshua watches as you lick the blood off the blade insouciantly, as if nothing crazy happened. His good eye expands in shock and revulsion. That laughâthat cold, insane laughâechoing in his mind. "Fucking psychopath," he scowls.
A boiling rage rises up in his chest.
He is half-blind now. One eye is gone. Replaced with darkness. Just like you. He suddenly realizes how fucking dangerous you are. How quickly you went from a calm woman with soulless eye to laughing your head off while stabbing into his eye. The maid finishes bandaging his eye fast and leaves silently with hurried steps.
You just smile.
He gulps, realizing he has invited a psychopath into a marriage proposal.
Joshua stands up slowly, testing his balance with one less eye. He feels offâdisoriented. He looks at you with his remaining good eye. Your single eye sparkles with pure joy. He suddenly had the urge to runâto get as far away from you as possible.
He backs away step by step as his heart races almost out of his chest. He is scaredâscared of you, scared of the marriage proposal he'd just made to a literal psychopath. He trips over his own feet and falls back onto the bed with a winch, clutching his bandaged eye.
"Stay away from me!"
"C'mon, Hong. Your pretty eye might taste just as good as you look." You lick your lips, standing up and strolling towards him with a half-smile.
Joshua stumbles back, suddenly reminded of how you liked eating fish eyes in the restaurant that day. He lets out a choked scoff in disbeliefâhe fell for your gameâhook, line, and sinker with your eye as bait.
He scrambles back further on the bed as you approach him with that half-smileâa smile that now sends shivers down his spine instead of butterflies in his stomach. His good eye widens in horror as memories flood backâyou complimenting his eyes during that dateâdropping your keychain.
"Stop!" he blurts out in desperation.
"Why? We are going to get married just like you wanted," you say, leaning down to his eye level.
Joshua flinches back as you lean in closer, his heart pounding in his chest. He is trappedâtrapped by his own stupid marriage proposal to a woman who seems to take the phrase 'having an eye on each other' way too literally.
He could see your single eye up closeâcoldâinsane.
"Don't forget to join our celebration dinner tonight," you beam, kissing his forehead, your lips rather feeling cold.
Joshua gulps.
He knows what's going to be served on the table tonight.
He nods numbly, his body shaking slightly as you kiss his forehead. He knew what was coming tonightâa celebration dinner where he would be the main course. His good eye wells up with tears as he grasps the horror of his situationâhe had proposed to a monster who literally wanted to eat his eyes.
Joshua sits there frozen on the bed as you leave the room. He buries his face in his hands as sobs wrack his body.
He has fallen in love with a beautiful, cold monster who loves to eat fish eyes. He still can't believe he is going to marry a psychopathic eye-eating monster. "Why did I propose to her?" He cries into his hands.
Later that night, you hum in satisfaction, finding it delicious as you munch on his well cooked eye.
Joshua doesn't know when he fell asleep but he does know the ringing question in his head when he wakes up with the throbbing pain in his empty socket.
How did you know he was behind the acid attack and took your eye?
His brain files through countless theories as he washes up. He walks downstairs absentmindedly and almost bumps into the dining table.
You chuckle at his clumsiness, making him finally look up at you sitting across the mahogany table. The table is adorned with various dishes but that one dish sitting in front of you makes him gag.
It's his mangled eyeball soaked in sauce and surrounded by a lush lattice.
He watches in horror from the other side of the table as you happily cut his cooked eye and eat it, savoring every bite. Tears start to stream down his face as he realizes the truthâyou loved eating eyes so much that you were willing to marry just to get more eye meat. He feels sick and violated.
A bile crawls up his throat, making him bend over and cover his mouth.
His stomach churns as he watches you chomp down his eye like it was some kind of delicacy. He had always been attracted to your unhinged cold look, he was always curious to discover you more... but now he sees the devil behind those lies. He stands up abruptly, trying to inhale some air and avoid looking at the table and you.
You look up from your plate, your mouth slightly stained with the juices of his cooked eye. You smile coyly like you had just eaten a gourmet meal instead of someone's bodily organ. He feels physically ill at the sight of it all over again. "Mmm...so delicious~" You hum happily, munching on it more.
Joshua takes a step back, looking for his moment to escape from this hell.
"Sit," you order curtly.
He sits down feebly with his trembling legs. He feels like he is in a nightmareâone where the woman he loved turns out to be a cannibalistic monster who had just eaten his eye for dinnerâunfortunately for him he doesn't wake up from it. You commanded him to sit, and he obeyed like a scared puppy, his good eye filled with terror.
Right now, he is nothing like the arrogant and proud self-made millionaire, who tried to put you in a cage but now, he ended up locking himself in it.
His mind wanders off to the question he woke up with and the events of all the time he spent with you start playing in his head. An odd feeling blooms in his chest: everything went too smoothly in your favor as if⊠it was all calculated.
He rubs his clammy hands against his thighs and asks the question that has been weighing on his mind. "Did you arrange that hitman to approach me with this crazy acid attack idea?"
Your knife stills on cutting his eyeball.
Joshua looks at you with a mixture of fear and realization. Then all the pieces click together in his head.
You dropping the keychainâthe men talking about teaching women a lesson at the back of the clubâyou humiliating him publicly by rejecting his proposal and then the hitman attacking you with an acidâit all seems too convenient, too perfectly timed. He had never considered it before, but now it seems obvious.
You have orchestrated this entire thing just to get him and his eyeball.
"You... you arranged the acid attack?"
"All is well now," you reassure him, attempting a coy smile but it rather reminds him of a Cheshire cat, who's toying with him and always had been although he realized it too late.
He feels like a fool. Not only are you a cold monster, you had managed to be a master manipulator, who had planned every step of their relationship with chilling precision. He scoffs, wondering if even that night you played the piano was plannedâeverything was a lie designed to trap him.
"You..." he trails off.
Your expression remains blank as you study his reaction. Your mouth opens and closes just for a moment. "The hitman just made you a suggestion. It's you who choose to take my eye in the first place," you explain coldly. "Actions have consequences, Joshua Hong."
Joshua feels a chill run down his spine at the cold, calculating way you spoke. The hitman was just a pawn in your game, and he was tooâthe fool who had agreed to take your 'eye'âis a sacrifice at the end.
He feels violated, manipulated, and utterly stupid for falling for your charms.
He sits in stunned silence, his mind racing with the realization that he had been played like a violin from the very beginning. He takes in a shaky breath, steeling himself for what's to come next.
"Now," you pick up your glass, expecting him to follow you.
Joshua picks up his glass mechanically.
"Congratulations to us getting engaged," you cheer, clinking their glasses in celebration.
He numbly clinks his glass against yours, his hand still shaking to no end. He feels like a zombie going through the motions as you celebrate your engagementâan engagement built on lies, manipulation, and the literal loss of his eye. The irony is bitter as he toasts to their 'happily ever after'.
"We're matching like a couple too," you laugh, pointing to your re-dressed eye patch and his lost bandaged one.
"Couple goals," you crowed, clinking your glass against his again, making the red wine swirl and almost spill over.
Joshua forces a weak smile, his heavy heart already weighing with dread and despair. The sight of your finger pointing at your own eye patch and at his bandaged socket was like a punch to his gutâa constant reminder of the horror he had willingly walked into. Your laughter echoes off like mocking jeers in his ears as he realizes just how perfectly you had played him.
"An eye for an eye, babe."
That phrase sends a shudder down his spine. It was clear now that every step of this relationship had been calculatedâa twisted game where you have always held the upper hand.
You slide the ring onto his finger. He hadn't even noticed the velvet box sitting on the table beside you. The engagement ring feels like a shackle around his finger instead of a symbol of love. "Right..."
Joshua really fell for the hook, line, and sinker with your eye as bait.
Epilogue: First Look into Dazzling Eyes
The New Yearâs gala unfolded in a vast candlelit garden, where frost clung to marble pathways, bare winter branches swayed in the freezing air of the last December night, and delicate gold-trimmed fountains shimmered beneath a thin layer of ice. Beneath fair lights hanging from ancient trees, the cityâs elite mingle in glittering couture as live musicians play beside overflowing champagne towers and walls of white flowers.
You swirl your red wine mindlessly against the rim of the glass, raising them like waves that never reach shore. Endless chatter bores your eardrums, making you want this celebration to just be over.
You occasionally nod and send synthetic smiles to the greetings of your plastic friends.
âAre you planning to look miserable all night?â Mina asks, appearing beside you with a flute of champagne balanced between her fingers.
You hum absentmindedly. âDepends. Is there anything here worth entertaining?â
She snorts softly and leans in closer. âYou sound like an old heiress trapped in a twenty-three-year-oldâs body.â
âMaybe I am.â
Your eyes drift across the garden anyway, over the glittering gowns and clusters of polished smiles. Then they stop.
A man stands a few tables away beneath the hanging fairy lights, dressed in a black suit that fits like it was stitched onto him. He laughs at something an older businessman says, the sound warm and effortless as he clinks glasses with the group around him. Thereâs nothing loud about him, nothing attention-seeking, yet people orbit him naturally, drawn in by the calm gentleness in his expression.
Beautiful.
Dangerously so.
Mina notices your stare almost immediately. âOh,â she beams with amusement. âSo you do have a pulse.â
You tear your gaze away for half a second. âWho is he?â
âThat,â she says dramatically, âis Joshua Hong. The newest heartthrob of the elite socialite circle.â
The name settles strangely in your chest.
âHe came back from abroad six months ago,â Mina continues. âStarted his own company from scratch and somehow already became a self-made millionaire. I heard he has branches opening all across the country now. Everyoneâs obsessed with him.â
âSounds exhausting,â you reply flatly before taking another sip of wine.
But your eyes betray you, drifting back to him almost instantly.
Joshua tilts his head while listening to someone speak, smiling softly in a way that barely reaches his eyes. The golden lights above scatter against the dark brown of his irises, making them glimmer like sunlight over amber glass.
Then the countdown begins.
âTen!â
The crowd erupts around you as voices echo through the garden.
âNine!â
Joshua glances upward just as the first firework explodes across the midnight sky.
Colors bloom over the garden in brilliant gold and silver, reflecting in the crystal fountains, in champagne glasses, and in his eyes.
And for one suspended moment, with fireworks painting light across his face and laughter spilling from his lips, you canât look away.
âThree!â
Your pulse quickens unexpectedly.
âTwo!â
Mina says something beside you, but the sound fades into the night.
âOne!â
The sky bursts into dazzling color as cheers erupt through the garden.
You stare at Joshua Hong beneath the falling sparks of light and decide right there and thenâ
He will be your New Yearâs goal.
His eyes twinkle with colorful fireworks, peering into a bright soul behind those pupils.
Such pretty deer eyes.
You wonder what they will look like caught in headlights.
Note: The turns have tabled.
I actually watched an eye removal surgery for this fic and I wanted to show off my new knowledge but that would had been an info dump so I didn't lol
Important Characterization Note: If you haven't noticed the fl is 'weird' at expressing emotions. Well, technically bad at putting an act on to be precise. Throughout the story, they both express their emotions at odd timings because they're both putting on an act in front of each other for their own agendas. However, Joshua's curiosity towards fl is genuine. And they both do have their moments where their masks slip and they're vulnerable.
I tried to include a lot of subtext in their dynamic and in story. Let me know your perspective. I would love to read y'all's theories.
This was my first attempt at writing unreliable narrative, so how was it?
Joshua:
Tagging readers from the waiting list: @dontwonder05 @joshujin @eskoupe
Tagging readers who showed interested in it (sorry, if you didn't want to be tagged): @arkihives @aethnie @bobathi
                              â
Synopsis: Joshua, a rising self-made millionaire with a sprawling empire that stretches across the country, has caught your fatherâs eye as the perfect marriage prospect. But when you coldly reject his proposal, you do more than bruise his prideâyou ignite something far more dangerous. Joshua is a man accustomed to taking whatever he desires, and your refusal only sharpens his resolve. In his world, no is merely the beginning.
Note: I had this one in my drafts since 2024 and plot wise this is probably my personal favorite for now. I wrote this one much more simple than my usual poetic style so let me know what you think about this style. Also thank you so much to @hiheszach and her friend for beta-reading (censored version of) this work and being so sweet and supportive! Bloody divider by @/k1ssyoursister.
â Read on AO3
â ïž Reader discretion is advised â ïž
Your pencil languidly scribbles a crowd of eyes, each one's curve expressing a range of emotions on the foot of your notes.
The conference room currently holds a trio of you; your father and Joshua sat across from your bored self (and its walls outside bear the weight of eager employees trying to peep in for juicy gossip.)
"Your company has been showing promising results, but I heard the funds are getting tighter and tighter, making it harder to expand more in the industry, so I would like to offer land with remarkable quality and location for a very reasonable price," Joshua proposes with a soft smile curving his lips. His pupils remain locked on you even though he's explaining to Mr. Lee, your father.
Your attention is still swimming in your drawings; your hand continues to draw on muscle memory as your mind begins to drift into the numerous galaxies of the world escaping outside of this boring meeting.
"Oh?" Your father sits up straighter, intrigued. "Let's hear your demands," he says.
"I want to marry her," he demands with another smile warming his lips as if you have already agreed to it.
An astonished gasp escapes Mr. Lee, and his gaze shifts to you. "Are you serious? You want to marry my only princess?" Your father asks with evident excitement leaking through his words.
You roll your eyes, well aware he couldnât give a damn about you. He thinks itâs time to sell you off like a vegetable.
"Yes. I am serious," he nods, looking at you through a red haze.
Joshua stretches his hand in your direction, his palm facing up in a gentle invitation. "Will you marry me?"
Taut silence strains the room.
Mr. Lee grins from ear to ear, awaiting your response. The employees outside pack up the corridor with hushed gasps and sharing whispered guesses among themselves, rattled by the sudden proposal. Everyone knows you're a prideful person, and gaining your hand in marriage is no effortless task.
"Answer him," your father mumbles, pressing his pressure on you. Your chin lifts as tall as a mountain.
"No," you say curtly.
His face stays still as water, but you don't miss the faint twitch of his eyes. He slowly dragged his hand back, folding his arms across his chest. "No?" he repeated softly, his voice barely above a whisper. The room strains with awkward silence once more. Your father whips his head between the two of you, stupefied by your response.
"I'll never marry you," you say imperturbably and walk out.
Joshua watches your departing figure with a concreting expression. He then turns to your father, offering him a stiff nod before heading out himself. He knew that you wouldn't budge even if he moved mountains for you, but neither would he until you accepted his proposal. And he was determined to win you over, no matter how long it took or whatever cost he has to pay for it.
Over the next few months, Joshua began appearing at every event you attendedâevery place you inhaled oxygen from. He would sit at the back of every occasion you passionately delivered a speech in, clapping in admiration, his eyes gleaming at your glowing figure. Expensive gifts start piling up in your name day by dayâvibrant bouquets of expressive flowers, glinting jewelry worth hills of cash, and trendiest cars; though each gift would meet its fate by being abandoned in a waste bin or being sent back. His shadow even starts lingering in your favorite cafes and restaurants when you're winding down from your exhausting day or meeting up with an important client.
He starts materializing everywhere, be it looming around your workplace or always offering a ride home when the office hours are up, and even lurking around the corner of the street when you arrive home from a long day.
No amount of flowers thrown in his face and strings of colorful insults would budge his determination.
By March, Seoul slowly shed the sharp gray silence of late February, trading winterâs fading breath for dry sunlight, crisp afternoons above ten degrees, and nights that still lingered below freezing beneath the first shy bloom of spring. Joshua, however, never changed; he stalked you through the shifting seasons, refusing to leave you alone.
You step out of the building, your sight landing on him for the infinite time; you watch his figure lean against an exorbitant car, followed by hushed whispers and the crowd pointing in his direction.
You stomp towards him.
"What will it take to make you get lost?" You ask exasperatedly.
Joshua raises a brow in pure glee. "Marry mâ"
"No!" you bark, which vibrates a chuckle out of him as stands up straighter. An annoying grin stretches across his face from ear to ear when he crouches down to your eye level.
"Let's start off slow if that's what you want. Have a dinner with me," he gibes with a half-smile.
You chew your lip, pondering your options. It's a wonderful offer if it stops him from haunting you like a vengeful ghost.
"Will you stop bothering me after we eat out?" You ask in contemplation.
He nods after a beat of silence. "Yeah, I can give you some peace," he grins, "for some time."
Your eyes roll back with another wave of infuriation. As a private individual, you dislike having someone lurking in your orbit who knows your every move; just the thought of it irks you.
You give a rigid nod.
"Let's go!" he beams, opening the door for you as you slide into the passenger seat. His grin curves up more, rotating around as he hops into the driver's side, and the car speeds off.
The restaurant he chooses is quiet in a way that costs moneyâmuted lights blending with soft voices, a view that looks curated rather than natural. You tell yourself itâs just a dinner. One meal, one hour, and then heâll vanish.
Thatâs the story you stick to.
Joshua pulls your chair out for you. You donât thank him. He doesnât seem to mind. He watches you the way investors watch graphsâpatient, certain that eventually the line will move in his favor.
You order first.
âThe grilled fish,â you say, then pause, tilting your head as if reconsidering. âWhole.â
Joshua smiles faintly. âBold choice.â
âThey say the eyes are the window to the soul,â you reply lightly.
The food arrives. The fish is pristineâuntouched, staring upward at you with one cloudy eye. You donât hesitate. You cut cleanly, precisely, lifting the eye out with your fork.
Joshuaâs glass stills halfway to his lips.
âThey say the eyes are the window to the soul,â you repeat, softer now, like a still oasis. You place it in your mouth. Chew. Consider.
âMmhmm,â you hum. âI like them. Makes me wonder how souls taste.â
A soft smile curves up your lips.
He lets out a sharp laugh. âYouâre trying to scare me.â
âAm I?â you ask with airy curiosity.
The server refills the drink without asking. Joshua thanks him by reading his nameplate. You notice thatâhow carefully he keeps track of small dominions.
âYou don't flinch around me,â he says at last, nodding towards the plate. His voice has settled back into a calm ocean wave. âMost people do.â
âMost people perform,â you counter back, setting down your fork neatly. âI get bored with that.â
Joshua surveys you like a puzzle, as if its few pieces are missing on purpose. âYou think Iâm performing?â
âI think youâre rehearsed,â you claim. âThereâs a difference.â
That earns a genuine stretch across his lipsâslower and considered. âRehearsal is just respect for the audience,â he debates.
âAnd yet,â you pause, glancing around the dining room, âyou chose somewhere where no oneâs really watching.â
âPrivacy has its own kind of audience.â He leans back with a pleased nod. âTell meâwhy did you agree to this dinner?â
You let the silence engulf the table, opting to take a sip of water. It doesnât bother him. That bothers you.
âCuriosity,â you say finally. âPeople like you always want something they can't have. I wanted to see if you are after me to just bandage your bruised ego or something else.â
Joshua nods, as if youâve confirmed a hypothesis, but you don't miss the derision twinkling in his eyes. âFair. And?â
âAnd I wanted to see if youâd be disappointed when I didnât give it to you.â
His shoulders shake with a chuckle. âYou assume I know what I want.â
He gestures toward your plate. âYou talked about souls earlier. Do you believe in them?â
âI believe in leverage,â you say. âPeople call it different things depending on what comforts them.â
âInteresting,â he mutters, tapping his glass lightly. âI believe in inevitability. Systems move in predictable ways. People too, if you give them enough time.â
âTime,â you echo. âThatâs generous of you.â
âI am generous,â he says easily. âWith the right investments.â
You laugh, quiet and unamused. âYou talk about people like assets.â
âEveryone does,â he replies. âI just donât pretend otherwise.â
The server returns with his dishâsomething minimalist and expensive-looking. Joshua doesnât rush to eat. He stays stillâwatching you, an unattainable woman grown up with a silver spoon and charm.
âFamilies,â he continues, picking up the thread you left dangling earlier. âTheyâre the worst-run organizations in existence. No bylaws. No exit clauses. Just obligation and decay.â
âAnd yet,â you pause, âpeople cling to them harder than anything else.â
âFear of starting from zero,â he says. âSunk cost fallacy. Sentimentality.â
âOr love,â you offer, flatly.
He tilts his head, dripping with mockery. âYou think love is exempt from economics?â
âNo,â you answer. âI think itâs often used as a cover charge.â
That earns a fogged silence. Joshua finally takes a bite of his food.
âYouâre not wrong,â he says after a moment. âBut youâre not entirely right either.â
You arch an eyebrow. âDo explain.â
âControl,â he says in a lower octave, âis easier when people think theyâre choosing it.â
The words land with soft stepsâcareful and deliberate.
Your eyes lock with hisâunblinking. âAnd you invited me here becauseâŠ?â
âBecause,â Joshua pauses, âyou donât think youâre choosing anything. Which makes you interesting.â
You smile againâsmall and sharp as if carved with a blade. âCareful. Curiosity is expensive.â
âSo is boredom,â he replies with a twinning smile. âAnd I can afford both.â
The check arrives, discreet as everything else. Joshua reaches for it. You let him.
As you stand, he says almost casually, âSame time next week?â
You want to scoff at his audacity, but somehow you consider himâthe curated view, the muted lights, the way the evening has been shaped without ever feeling rushed, and everything was molded with his handsâdancing to the beat of his fingertips.
âWeâll see,â you chew over. âI donât like inevitability.â
Joshua smiles like someone whoâs already accounted for that.
âNeither do I,â he agrees with an amiable smile once more.
You leave first.
But at the door, your steps halt, patting your pockets with polished exasperation. âDamn. I think I dropped something.â
Joshua is already moving. âIâll find it,â he offers.
You wave him off. âItâs nothing important.â
You walk out.
The next sunrise you splash your face with frigid water, its chill biting into your skin, but you don't mind it. Your eyes stare at your own through your reflectionâstaring. Your fingertip traces them in the mirror, its cool surface matching your pupils.
You wonder what your soul looks likeâand his too.
Your phone vibrates on the marble surface. Call of the devil, indeed.
âI think you left behind your keychainâŠuhh of an eye,â he says. âHow about I hand it over with another dinner?â
"You don't have to. Just sendâ"
"No, let's meet up, or else I'm going to keep it as a gift from you."
You let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, but this time I'll pick the place."
He lets out a small cheer, contented that you caved in with little struggle. "Okay, send me the address!" he beams, and you hang up.
Neon lights flicker with the bass; bodies sway on the dance floor, pulsing with energy in the nightclub. The music vibrates too loudly; the crowd breathes too close to each other, but it feels like the perfect place to hide, like a fish in the sea of people. And yet, here he isâJoshua Hong, right in front of you, as if fate had conspired to force you into this moment yet again.
You spot him before he spots you, his back turned as he scans the crowd, probably looking for your head. When his eyes pin on yours, they emit that familiar flickerâhope. But today, the air shifts differently for them. Thereâs no softness in your expression.
He approaches with soft steps as his voice cuts through the noise.
âSo, this is capable of dragging you out of your hermit but not me, huh?â he asks with a light huff, swinging your keychainâa little eye-shaped charm thatâs been with you for years. The metal gleams in the flashing lights, a constant reminder of something youâve left behind.
You let it swing in front of your face like a trinket for a cat, not moving to claw it away. Instead, you narrow your eyes, lips curling into something thatâs not quite a smile, but almost one.
âThat's funny,â you reply with a curved edge in your words. âYou are the one who found it, huh? What a coincidence.â
He laughs; the dripping suspicion is not lost on him. His fingers secured around its chain. âMaybe we are meant to be together. Fate has made us meet again.â
Your eyes roll back as you lean against the bar, assessing the crowd. This isn't the place for a private conversation. The lights are too bright, the space too full of people; eager ears can easily blend in to eavesdrop.
âYou wish," you huff. "Spout your nonsense, Iâm listening,â you order disdainfully. Your tone is stitched with taunts, meant to discourage him, but he has the gall to still shamelessly open his mouth to utter another thread of nonsense. A wave of exasperation floods over you, making you curse under your breath, already preparing yourself to snatch the keychain and leave. You donât need this.
âAbout us,â he continues, his words soft and clear as conjunctiva, but the underlying urgency doesn't escape your keen eye. He steps a foot closer into your bubble, just a hairsbreadth away. âI know you didn't mean to turn me down, and I think Iââ
You cut him off, folding your arms. âThis isn't the time or place. And honestly? I donât think I need to hear it at all.â
He blinks, then stands still like a statue, then the corners of his mouth pull down in a way that makes your stomach coil for a moment. But you know his sadness is plastic.
Joshua reaches into his pocket, and you know exactly what he is about to fish out next. The ring. That damn ring. Youâd seen it beforeâmore than you would like toâthe one heâs been holding onto for far too long, the one he keeps pulling out, hoping for a different answer every single time. This timeâit's a desperate, final plea.
âIâve been thinking about this a lot,â his words quiver with such downy thoughtfulness that if you were naĂŻve enough, you would have thrown yourself in his arms out of sheer pity. "I love you. And I know you donât feel the same, but IâI canât keep waiting for you to change your mind." He stammers, looking down at the ring, his hand quaking as he holds it out to you. "Please... will you marry me?"
The words hang in the air.
A laugh escapes you before you can stop itâquicker, cutting, and punitive than you meant it to be. Your gaze flickers around the room, the noise growing more distant as the entire club seems to slow down, like time itself is holding its breath.
And when you speak, your voice cuts through the volatile silence between the two of you. âI told you already,â you remind him firmly, the words thick with disinterest, like a sentence youâve repeated so many times like a mindless recording that it has lost its meaning. âIâm not marrying you.â
His face faltersâso subtly itâs easy to miss. A flicker of pain slips through, breaking past the desperate mask heâs struggling to hold together. His eyes drift, unfocused, as if heâs trying to make sense of something he can no longer quite grasp.
You step back, your gaze freezing cold as you notice the crowd gape at his humiliationârejection delivered like a guillotine. The club thumps not only with music but countless eyes on both of you and a chain of whispers being spread among the people. Someone laughsâa sharp, ugly one that bounces off the walls like the snort of a pig. Your rejection is echoing, sinking into the air with its anchor, its weight heaving up on Joshua's shoulders. You let it linger, savoring the moment, watching his embarrassment bloom in front of everyone.
Another laugh echoes. Someone snickers behind you, a little too loud to ignore. You can feel the eyes of the club on you now, the murmur of voices spreading like wildfire.
"Wow," someone lets out a derisive snort. âShe just shut him down in front of everyone.â
The whispers sting him. It's satisfying to see him shrink, his shoulders folding inward as if he's trying to make himself smaller. The guy who used to stand tall, full of confidence, now seems like a child pleading for validation (unfortunately with no tears glinting in his eyes yet).
For the first time, you see itâgenuine hurt. Not the forced kind he tried to sell you over the months, but raw, real vulnerability. The people surrounding you donât seem to notice it. They just keep talking, their attention already shifting elsewhere; the whole world keeps rotating while he stands stillâstuck in this moment.
âGood,â you say, almost too softly for anyone but him to hear. âIt was never going to happen.â
Joshua stands there, arm still outstretched, the ring caught between you like a mistake he made too fast to take back. His fingers twitch, grip tightening, looseningâlike heâs resisting the urge to snatch it away or force the moment forward. Silence presses in.
His jaw flexes. He swallows whatever he almost says.
For a flicker of a second, something reckless sparks through himâhis gaze snapping to the bottle on the table behind you, his fingers curling around its neck, smashing it against the corner of the table. And then he swings it at your headâ
No, he doesnât.
The cloud dissipates as he stays frozen instead, breathing unevenly, the impulse passing through him without landing, leaving only the weight of the moment hanging in the air.
âI told you already,â you remind him. âIâm not marrying you.â
Something fractures behind his eyes.
Thatâs when he hears it.
Two men sitting a few tables away. One voice low, crude, and careless. Complaining about women. About stubborn ones. Laughing about how they need to be taught lessons. Suggesting things that make Joshuaâs jaw tick.
You notice his attention swaying towards those men.
Joshua leans in closer to you. âYou hear that?â
You shrug. âMen talk.â
His face contorts, not in reaction to them, but to the universe and the possibility of anything encroaching on his perceived possessions.
You watch the realization bloom in his mind, its branches stretching out with leaves engraved with threat, protection, and possession.
You take advantage of his astonishment, fishing your keychain from his other hand, and by the time he realizes it, you're already blended into the crowd, slipping out of his reach.
Later, when youâre alone, your fingertip traces the eye of your keychain as you swim in your thoughts.
You had punctured his pride through and through.
You let out a heavy sigh, shaking your head to disperse your thoughts, and began a long trudge to the bathroom.
Frigid water splashes your face and drips down your hands slowly like a draining waterfall. You straighten up, staring at your reflection. Eyes look backâwhole and intact.
A small smile curves up your lips.
You wonder what your soul looks likeâ
And his too.
A stack of papers snaps your face to the other side. Your cheek burns; you press your tongue against it, steadying yourself. After a moment, you lift your gaze again, smoothing your hair back into place.
"What did you say? No?!" your father screams in your face."You think I'll forget about it if you avoid me for days? How dare you humiliate me in front of him?" He shrills, his fingers digging into your hair and yanking your head back with all his might.
You choke back a whimper, but still maintain your glare.
He scoffs and spits in your face at your audacity. With a forceful push, he sends you reeling, your back colliding with the wall in a deafening thud.
A sharp pain shoots up your lower back; you bite down your boiling scream by digging your nails into your palms. Everything throbs, but you won't hand him the satisfaction of witnessing your misery.
"Get out of my face. Scram!" he yells, and you do, limping your way out.
You step outside, inhaling a sharp breath of the city. Sunlight reflects off the gray concrete sidewalk, which is lined with green bushes. You walk towards the cacophony of the main road, leaving a trail of dripping humiliation. At the intersection, the air grows thicker, carrying the sharp scent of gasoline and hot rubber. The muted, sleepy environment of the street abruptly met the frantic buzz of lifeâcars rushing past, music thumping from a passing vehicle, and the scattered conversations of people walking by. You don't pay mind to the bustling city as your mind occupies itself by flipping through today's events.
An abrupt vibration travels from the soles of your feet up to your chest, followed by a guttural, tearing roar that rips through the quiet afternoon.
You look up just in time to see a bright streak of neon cutting through the traffic flow, weaving erratically in your direction; the rider hunched low over the tank like a jockey in a race. You freeze, your breath hitching.
It all happens too fast.
A splatter of sizzling liquid rises high like tsunami waves onto your faceâslopping into your eye.
A bloodcurdling scream erupts from your lungs as you instantly shield your left eye.
You watch a blurry figure rushing in your direction from the other side of the road. You blinkâJoshua Hong.
He ran towards you, his saucer eyes puffed up with flaming rage and concern. He gently but firmly moves your hand away from your eye to inspect the damage.
"Are you okay?!"
He clumsily fishes out his phone, swiftly pressing it to his ear. His words are stern and curt as he speaks to someone on his phone. "Get security here, now!"
A blend of your blood with bubbling acid stains your palm. He cautiously pulls your hand away from your eye once again. He watches you, his gaze locked on your face. Your left eye remains squeezed shut so tightly that it sends a tremor through your cheek, while a steady, silent stream of tears leaks out, mapping down the path of your immense pain. He hears you hiss softly under your breath, trying to hide your pain. He scrutinizes the crowd that is beginning to encircle around you both, everyone whispering and covering their mouths in shock.
Without hesitation, he scoops you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest. Keeping you steady with one arm, he begins striding towards the waiting car, barking orders into the phone with deadly calmness. "I want that acid analyzed immediately. Find out who did this."
Joshua carefully places you down in the backseat of the car, climbing in after you. He is quick to grab a handful of tissues, gently pressing them against your eye, applying enough pressure to stop the bleeding. You grunt in protest, your eye still throbbing endlessly. The driver speeds off towards the hospital, leaving the chaotic scene behind. "Stay still," he says, squeezing your shoulder in solace.
At the hospital, his hand remains steadfast in your hold as Joshua accompanies you throughout the entire examination. Refusing to step outside, his hand holds yours more firmly as the doctor examines your eye, his thumb gently caressing your knuckles. (The security gave up trying to take the man outside when he answered with a grim scowl; no one wants to offend this man with tremendous influence after all.)
When they finally gave the news that you had lost vision in your left eye because of the acid attack, his face ashes up and a winter chill settles in his eyes.
He listens meticulously as the doctor explains that the acid had burned through your retina, causing permanent blindness in your left eye. He saw your porcelain pale face remain grayâsheeted with an uneasy layer of placidity. He hears the doctor mention that he spotted a small sign of infection, which might likely spread more.
"Can she still keep her eye, or does it need to be removed?"
The doctor hesitates before answering Joshua's knotty question. "The eye is severely damaged and infected. Removing it would prevent further infection and pain for the patient," he explains while keeping his eyes downcast. Joshua's jaw clenches, his knuckles turn pale merely from his tight hold on your hand. "We recommend removal within the next forty eight hours."
He takes in a deep breath, trying his best to bottle in his swirling rage and grief. His gaze flickers down at you, looking for the shock and pain in your remaining eye. He sets the decision in stone. âDo it.â The words were thinâarctic and absolute. The doctor froze, then nodded. "Remove it."
They donât let him stay long.
Youâre still holding his hand when they start moving you, the bed rolling too smoothly, just like this decision which was made swiftly. The lights above smear together in a static lane of white. You try to sit up, to ask him not to let go.
âWait,â you screech, or your voice only echoes in your head.
The needle slides into your arm. Cold spreads fastâchasing your thoughts. His grip tightens, desperate, as if he holds hard enough he can keep you here.
Your fingers betray you. They loosen. Your body follows.
âNo,â he pleads, but the nurse peels your hand away from his as if it no longer belongs to either of you.
The doors close.
Inside, everything is too bright. They move quickly now in a careful motion blur of efficiency as if the gentleness will soften the inevitable outcome.
They drape a blue sheet over your face, leaving only your left eye exposed. The light still reaches only one place. Only one thing left to take.
Youâre not asleep. Youâre not awake. Your mind floats somewhere above your body, watching it lie there in obedience. Sounds echo strangelyâmetal clicking, voices murmuring like theyâre in another room.
âBreathe,â someone says.
You do. Once. Twice. The air smells sharpâwrong. Your thoughts begin to slip like water through your fingers. You try to hold on to somethingâhis face, his voiceâbut it all stretches and thins out into nothingness.
Youâre not asleep yet.
But youâre already leaving.
The room pulls away from you in pieces. Sound warpsâmetal clicking too loudly, voices melting into each other. Your body grows distant, heavy, obedient in a way that suddenly feels appalling.
Something is happening.
Panic sparks bright and instinctive just as your chest forgets how to answer it. You try to inhale deeper. Try to move. Nothing listens. The fear blooms anyway, trapped inside a body thatâs already going still.
Thenâ
Nothing.
The surgeon places the removed eye in a container and hands it to a nurse. His experienced hands began to stitch up the empty socket with clinical precision.
Joshua's restless feet echoes around the hallway, getting jittery as the clock ticks minute by minute. Finally, the doctor comes out. "She's bandaged and all well. We placed in a conformer for now. Let it heal, and then she can get a prosthetic eye."
His shoulders slope down with relief at hearing the surgery went well.
The doctor gives a nod and walks off to his other duties. The nurse leads Joshua to your room. He finds you asleep as a tranquil sleeping beauty. The mattress dips as he sits beside you, lightly tracing the edge of the bandage. He sighs, planting a soft peck on its fabric.
He clasps your hand firmly, afraid that you will slip through his fingers.
You are given the green light to discharge after a few follow-ups on the same evening. Your exhaustion drags you back into a world of dreams every few hours; you barely gave nods to countless questions from the doctor during the check-ups. He gently lifts your unconscious body into his arms, holding you close to his chest. He felt like a monster for causing you to lose your sight.
Joshua takes you back to his mansion, his men following behind with your medical supplies and medications. He carefully laid you down in his own bedroom, removing your clothes and replacing them with one of his oversized shirts that fell down to your thighs. He sat beside you for hours, watching over you as you slept.
As you stir awake, he notices your bandage has bled through and needs re-dressing. He gulps down a lump in his throat, the gravity of the situation pressing down on him once more. You reach up to touch your face, only to find an unfamiliar void. He quickly grabs your hand, stopping you from touching the bandage.
You wince as you attempt to open your left eye again, forgetting that it was gone. He watches your brow furrow in confusion as you try to touch your bandage this time. A soft whimper escapes from your lips as your brain finally registers that something was wrongâmissing. He keeps his gaze steady as memories of recent tragedy run behind your remaining eye. Your hands fall onto your lap as the reality brushes its harsh strokes into your brain.
Your body stills, mirroring an aloof statue. Your right eye blinks rapidly, trying to adjust to seeing the world with only your sliced vision. He peers at your steady sangfroid attitude, knowing that you were comprehending the permanent loss of your left eye.
You lift your hand to the bandage again, pressing to feel the empty socket behind the closed eyelid. You go rigid, slowly lowering your hand back into your lap. He waits for your reaction.
"It's gone," you say, your words flowing lightly with the breeze.
Joshuaâs hand lingers near your cheek, hovering as if you will blow away like ashes into the wind.
An eccentric silence engulfs the roomâjust the faint hum of the flowing curtains and the distant murmur of voices down the hall. Gentle sunlight filters weakly through them, not too bright nor sharp enough. You turn your head slightly away from it, your right eye struggling to judge the depth of the light.
You swallow.
âIt doesnât⊠hurt,â you comment after a moment, almost clinically. âIt just feelsâŠâ Your fingers twitched in your lap. âWrong.â
He exhales shakily, tucking his hands back into his lap. âThe doctors said that might happen. Phantom sensations. Your brainâs still catching up.â
You nod faintly, absorbing the information the way you always doâcarefully, methodically. Your gaze drifts back towards him, though it takes a second to align properly. You miscalculate the distance at first, focusing slightly past his shoulder before correcting it.
He notices it, and that almost shatters him into countless shards.
âI shouldâveââ his words ruptured into a quake. He clears his parched throat as his jaw tightens. âI shouldâve gotten to you sooner.â
Your brow furrows faintly. âNo.â
âIt was my fault,â he insists, leaning forward with elbows on his knees. âIf I had justââ
âJoshua.â
The way you say his name renders him completelyâsteady, grounded and certain.
âYou didnât take it,â you breathe. âYou didnât make the call. You didnât arrange it. You didnât cause the attack.â A slight pause. âYou took me to the hospital right away.â
His eyes glisten with a fresh wave. âToo late.â
You study himâreally scrutinize every edge and contour of himâwith your only visible eye left in your socket. It feels different nowânarrower field with harder edges, but it works nevertheless. You can still see him.
âIâm alive,â you state simply.
A lone tear trails down his cheek before he could stop it. He looks away, ashamed of it, but you reach out this timeâslowly, carefullyâuntil your hand finds his wrist. Your depth perception is off, causing you to brush the air first. He immediately moves closer so you wouldnât have to search.
Your fingers wrap around him.
âItâs gone,â you repeat, your words subdued softly now. Not in shock nor in disbeliefâjust crude acknowledgment.
Joshua covers your hand with his other one, holding it as if it's something fragile and sacred.
âIâm so sorry,â his apology quivers.
You let the silence linger a moment longer. The weight of everything gravities between you both, pressing down on your hearts. The future has shiftedâpermanently.
âIâll have to relearn things,â you murmur. âWalking. Driving. Pouring coffee without missing the cup.â A faint, almost humorless breath leaves you. âStairs are going to be annoying.â
Despite himself, Joshua lets out a weak, watery laugh.
You tilt your head slightly, testing your vision in a landslide view. âBut Iâm still me,â you softly hum.
He scrutinizes youâreally looks at you. The same stubborn set of your jaw. The same quiet steel in your voice. The same mind is already adapting instead of collapsing.
âYou are,â he says, his face twitching with fierce determination.
Your grip clenches just a fraction. âThen donât look at me like Iâm broken.â
Your words drills in his chest. His spine straightens as he wipes his face quickly. He nods, swallowing his guilt down as best he could.
âOkay,â he admits. âYouâre not broken.â
You lean back against the bed as the exhaustion starts seeping into your bones. Losing an eye was one thing. Accepting it was another. And you had done both within minutes.
But as your fingers drift once more toward the edge of the eye patchâhesitant this timeâyour composure wavers for a moment.
âIâm going to look different,â you mutter, much quieter now, not out of fearâjust⊠awareness.
Joshua leans over carefully, pressing his forehead gently to yours, mindful of the bandages.
âYouâre going to look like someone who survived,â he reassures you. âLike someone who fought and lived.â
Your breath hitchesâjust once.
And for the first time since you woke up, your calm demeanor cracksânot into sobbing, not into screamingâbut it morphs into a single tear slipping from your right eye, trailing down toward the pillow.
Joshua stays by your side, cradling your hand, letting you swim in your emotions.
Letting you feel all of it.
But not leaving you to face it all alone.
"It's gone," you repeat calmly despite your glassy eye.
He hears his heart crack at the calmness still blanketing your voice. You state it as a fact, not questioning it or showing any emotion. He reaches out slowly, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. "Yes... it's gone," he whispers with guilt clogging his throat and tears drenching his eyelashes.
That night, when he thinks you are asleep, you quietly slip out of the bed.
Darkness shrouds the bedroom, making it difficult to navigate and not bump into things. Your depth perception falters; you misjudge the distance and clip your shoulder against the wall. You donât reactâjust let your remaining eye adjust to the dead of the night.
You manage to find the attached bathroom.
The light inside illuminates too brightly when you flick it on.
For a moment, you just stand there, gripping the sink.
Then you look up.
The woman in the mirror stares back with one uncovered eye and a stark white patch (re-dressed a few hours ago) cutting across her face. Bruising yellows the skin beneath it. The bandage bulges slightly where the socket was still healing.
You donât blink.
You study the angles. The asymmetry. The way your expression looks⊠distantâthe sea in your remaining eye feels shores away, the waves ripple faintly through the murky night as the fog engulfs the view.
A bloodied figure reflects behind you in the doorway. Joshua's shirt wrinkles with stains of crimson. You are not surprised to find him looming behind you; you knew he was out somewhere and you were not curious enough to figure out where. Neither does the blood astonish you.
He mirrors your silence.
You reach up slowly and peel the edge of the patch back just a fractionânot enough to damage anything, just enough to see the hollow contour beneath the protective dressing.
Joshua jolts forward. âDonât.â
âItâs fine,â you breathe with firmness.
Your gaze never leaves the mirror, now tracing his eyes through it with your own remaining one.
There is no horror on your faceânot even tears.
Blankness smogs onto your face and morphs into acceptance.
He takes a faint step closer but holds himself back from grabbing you. His hands flex ineptly at his sides.
After a long moment, you let the patch fall back into place.
âI look like a stranger,â you assist.
Joshua grits roughly, yet a twitch of solace lingers in his words. âYou look like you.â
You turn off the bathroom light without responding and walk back to the bedroom.
After a few weeks of your surgery, your empty socket spurts out a pink discharge and swells with a hue of bruise around it. You constantly want to dip your finger into the socket to explore it and scratch away the itch but the annoying Joshua always holds your wrist hostage if you get even an inch closer to your patch, which makes you roll your eyes (oh, your bad, you meant to say eye now.)
The day began to blur as you were swamped with post-recovery care and follow-up appointments.
Joshua starts to orbit in your circle, from working often from home to bringing you all your three meals on a tray to adjusting your pillows. He religiously times your medication and tends to you like a stern nurse. When you standâhe stands. When you move, he hovers.
If you drift too close to the bedroom door, he suddenly materializes there.
âWhere are you going?â
âKitchen.â
âIâll get it.â
âI can get it.â
âI know. Iâll get it.â
It becomes a patternâan intricate web on which you are stuck like a dying fly.
On the fourth day of the same week, you manage to reach for the doorknob with pin drop silence.
His hand abruptly slams against the door before you could turn it.
âDonât,â he grits curtly.
You stare at his hand, then crane your neck up at him.
âI need air.â
âYou can open the window.â
âI need to go outside.â
His jaw tightens. âNot yet.â
Your right eye twitches slightly. âWhy?â
Because I almost lost you.
Because if you fallâ
Because if someone looks at you wrongâ
Because I canât watch you break.
Instead, he offers a flat explanation: âYouâre still healing.â
You step back, studying him the same way you had in the hospital.
âYouâre keeping me in here.â
âNo.â
âYes.â
Silence stretches taut between the pair.
Joshua cards through his hair; frustration begins to seep through the cracks of his careful composure. âYou walked into a doorframe yesterday.â
âIâm adjusting.â
âYou almost fell on the stairs.â
âI caught myself.â
âYou donât see things coming on your left!â
âAnd I will learn.â
Your voice doesn't climb octaves, and that makes him feel worse.
He paralyzes with terrorâhis jaw ticking and his brow furrows a deep valley.
Your edges soften a quarter. âJoshua,â you breathe his name velvety.
He swallows a lump.
âI lost an eye,â you point out. âNot my legs. Not my mind.â
His shoulders slops down with guilt burdening across his face.
âI canât lose you too,â he confesses with barely audible words.
Something flickers across your face. You take a faint step closer with slow deliberation, navigating the space. You stop a few inches away from him.
âYou saved me,â you acknowledge. âI won't turn my back on you anymore.â
He hesitates for a moment, unable to bear the thought of losing you; he pulls you into a careful embrace, his arms holding you as if you were delicate glass.
You stand rigid like a statue for a moment, your mind's wheel gets stuck at his action, but gradually your hands come up to claw his shirt.
Although over his shoulder, your open eye remains fixed on the bedroom doorwayâ
On the hall beyond it.
On the rest of the house.
And the world waiting outside.
Joshua didnât mean to make it a prison.
It just⊠became one.
The curtains began to stay drawn.
At first, it was because the light gave you headaches. Then, because the neighbors might see and 'misunderstand' their relationship. Later came the excuse that your eye needed âconsistent lighting.â The room settles into a dim, gray half-world where time blurs and shadows stretch long across the walls.
He moves your things in piece by piece.
Your clothes.
Your make-up and jewelry.
Your books and necessities.
Still, thereâs no trace of your any devices. When you ask for your phone, he smiles the way salespeople do before denying a refund. The excuse arrives polished to perfection: "Your eye needs rest; screens would only make it worse, and maybe itâs healthier this way anywayâusing your recovery to take a break from the world outside.â
"You wonât need to go downstairs," he says lightly after checking all your belongings are in place. âItâs easier this way.â
Easier.
You stop arguing after a few futile attempts.
One afternoon you notice a white sheet draped over the mirror, tucked neatly at the corners.
You didn't ask him to cover it.
âWhy did you do that?â You ask.
âSo you donât have to look at it,â he replies evenly without meeting your eye.
You don't mention that it won't stop you from standing in front of the bathroom mirror, fixedly gazing at it at two in the morning.
You don't tell him when you mourn your missing window to your soulâyou wonder what his looks like too.
A few nights later, you often wake to the faint sound of movement.
The noise drifts in from somewhere beyond the bedroom door. Then comes the soft click of the handle. The door eases open. Closes again.
You keep your breathing slow and steady, watching through barely parted lashes as he trudges to your bedside and looms over you.
He doesnât touch you.
He only watches your chest rise and fall.
Counting.
Joshua whispers something under his breath.
âStill here.â
The world beyond the room began to feel theoretical.
You could hear it sometimesâdishes clinking in the kitchen, the indistinct murmur of the television, the distant rumble of a car passing outside.
But you donât see it.
Every time you reach for the door, Joshua seems to materialize.
âIâve got it.â
âDo you need something?â
âTell me what you want.â
One afternoon, you decide to test him.
âI want to sit on the porch.â
He freezes.
The silence stretches taut a bit too long.
âItâs windy,â he says finally.
You tilt your head slightly. âThe windows are closed.â
He doesnât smile.
The eeriest part is not his hovering.
It is his calm.
He never raises his voiceânever snapping and doesn't even let anger crease his expression.
He is just watchful.
And measured.
Like he is guarding something fragile.
Like you are not a person anymore.
Like you were an artifact salvaged from rubble.
Your depth perception begins to improve slowly. You practice it when he isnât lookingâtossing a pen from one hand to the other. Reaching for the glass of water without spilling it. Walking the perimeter of the room in the dark.
You stop bumping into things.
But he doesnât seem to notice.
Or maybe he didnât want to.
Another night, a metallic click pulls you from sleep.
A soft, deliberate click.
You stay still.
A second click follows a moment later.
Your right eye strains against the dark until the shape near the door slowly becomes Joshua.
His fingers slips away from the doorknob. Something small disappears into his pocket with practiced ease.
Then he turns toward you.
Unaware that youâre awake.
He walks back to the chair beside your bed and sinks into it heavily, elbows braced against his knees, eyes fixed on you in the darkness.
Watching the rise and fall of your chest.
Counting again.
The next night, he didnât come.
No creaking footsteps outside your bedroom door. No soft click of the handle turning at late hours. No looming figure sitting in the chair beside your bed, counting your breaths in the dark.
The silence feels unnatural after days of constant observation, and eventually the restlessness gnawing beneath your skin becomes unbearable enough for you to slip out from beneath the sheets and tiptoe downstairs.
The house is steeped in darkness. Moonlight spills through the tall windows in pale silver stripes, illuminating just enough of the floor for you to navigate without crashing into furniture. A gentle late-April breeze drifted by, fluttering the curtains in its wake.
Every step makes the old wood sigh beneath your weight, and you pause after each creak, listening carefully for movement somewhere upstairs.
Nothing.
You didnât come downstairs to escape. You already know the front door will be locked, the windows probably sealed shut in some discreet way Joshua had taken care of long before you ever woke up here. Running would be pointless in your condition anyway.
You are simply bored out of your mind.
There are only so many hours a person can spend staring at closed curtains and counting cracks in the ceiling before the walls begin pressing inward.
So you wander.
The rooms all feel unmistakably Joshua. Carefully arranged. Controlled. The living room is decorated in muted colors and sharp lines, all expensive furniture that looks barely touched, as though it exists more for appearance than comfort. Neatly stacked books line dark wooden shelves, every spine aligned with obsessive precision. A chessboard rests atop a side table midway through a match, black pieces cornering white in a slow, merciless defeat.
The dining room is equally pristine, with polished silverware laid out inside a glass cabinet and long curtains drawn tightly over the windows despite the hour. Not a single object seems misplaced. Not a single sign suggests another person has ever lived here besides him.
Even the kitchen carries the same unsettling orderliness. Every knife hangs in perfect alignment. Every surface gleams spotless beneath the moonlight. The refrigerator hums softly in the silence, sounding strangely loud in the empty house.
Your gaze eventually lands on a door left slightly ajar at the end of the corridor.
Your steps move faintly.
For the first time since arriving here, something has been left open.
You plod toward it cautiously before nudging the door wider with your fingertips and peering inside.
A grand piano sits in the center of the room, bathed entirely in moonlight.
For a moment, you simply stare. Then a quiet clap of excitement escapes you before you can stop it.
The sight of it feels absurdly personal, like stumbling across an old friend in unfamiliar territory.
You drift toward the piano almost instinctively and lower yourself onto the cushioned bench, your fingers hovering over the keys for only a second before muscle memory takes over.
The first notes ring softly through the room, delicate enough to blend with the sleeping house. Gradually, the melody unfurls into Clair de Lune, smooth and aching and familiar beneath your fingertips.
If there is another thing capable of exposing the soul as nakedly as eyes do, it is music.
The piano had been your best friend since you were seven years old, the only thing that understood how to translate feelings too tangled to speak aloud into something beautiful. Your fingers know the language instinctively now, moving across the keys with effortless intimacy as the melody swells quietly through the dark.
For the first time in days, you almost forget where you are.
A sharp clap suddenly echoes behind you.
You jolt violently, your hands slipping from the keys as you whirl around to find Joshua leaning against the wall.
But you are not surprised.
The moment you found the door left ajar, you already knew tonight was intentional.
A test.
A reward.
Maybe simply another one of his experiments.
That is why you never bothered trying to stay quiet. Why you had allowed yourself to sink fully into the music instead of holding back.
Joshuaâs expression is unreadable in the dim light, but there is something disturbingly intent in the way he watches you now.
Like he had been listening long before you ever touched the first key.
He pushes himself away from the wall slowly, the sharp sound of his applause fading back into silence as he walks further into the room.
The moonlight catches briefly against his watch, against the faint crease of his rolled sleeves, before he stops beside the piano. Close enough now that you can smell cedarwood and the lingering trace of frosty night air clinging to his clothes.
âYou play beautifully,â he praises.
The compliment should sound ordinary. Instead, it settles strangely beneath your skin, coming from him, spoken with that same unnerving attentiveness he uses when watching you sleep.
You let out a small breath and turn slightly back toward the keys, your fingers resting against polished ivory. âYou left the door open on purpose.â
A pause stretches behind you.
Then, softly, almost amused, âAnd you still walked in.â
Your hands resume moving before you consciously decide to play again. The melody returns quieter this time, slower; the notes flowing softly into the dark while Joshua remains standing beside you in silence.
You can feel him watching your hands.
Not your face.
Not your injury.
Just your hands gliding across the piano keys as if he is trying to understand something through them.
After a while, the bench dips slightly beneath the added weight.
Joshua sits beside you without asking.
The warmth radiating from his shoulder feels startling after so many cold, lonely nights upstairs, and suddenly you become acutely aware of every tiny movementâthe brush of fabric when he shifts, the slow sound of his breathing beneath the music, the way his knee nearly touches yours without quite doing it.
Neither of you speaks for several moments.
The room fills instead with piano notes and moonlight and something heavier threading silently between the pauses.
Then he reaches forward unexpectedly, his hand sliding over yours atop the keys.
Not forceful.
Not restraining.
Just enough pressure to still your fingers mid-note.
The unfinished chord lingers softly in the air as your breath catches.
âYou hide inside music,â he murmurs, eyes lowered toward your joined hands. âItâs the only time you stop looking dead.â
His thumb shifts slightly against your knuckles before he finally lifts his gaze to yours.
And for the first time since arriving here, the silence between you no longer feels entirely stagnant.
The silence stretches after that, neither comfortable nor tense, but something suspends carefully between the two.
Joshuaâs hand remains loosely over yours for another moment before he finally withdraws it, though not completely. His fingers linger near the edge of your wrist, close enough that you still feel their warmth against your skin.
âYou stopped playing,â he observes quietly.
You glance down at the keys. âYou interrupted me.â
A faint smile ghosts across his face at that, small enough to vanish almost immediately. He leans back slightly on the bench, one arm resting along the edge behind you while the other taps absentmindedly against his knee in time with some rhythm only he can hear.
âYou knew I was listening,â he says after a while.
It isnât phrased like a question.
You hesitate before answering. âI figured the open door was too convenient.â
Joshua hums softly in acknowledgment, his gaze drifting toward the piano again. âMost people wouldâve been trying to escape.â
âBut you made sure I couldnât.â
The words leave your mouth more lightly than intended, though the meaning beneath them remains sharp enough to settle heavily between you.
For a second, neither of you moves.
Then he exhales through his nose, almost thoughtfully, and tilts his head slightly toward you. âYou couldâve screamed while you were down here.â
âYou wouldâve heard me.â
âI hear everything in this house.â
The statement should feel threatening. Somehow, spoken in his low, even voice beside the soft moonlit piano, it lands differently. More intimate than dangerous.
Your fingers drift unconsciously across a few keys again, producing a quiet string of absent notes. Joshua watches the movement with that same unwavering focus that always makes you feel pinned beneath his attention.
âYou watch me a lot,â you murmur before you can stop yourself.
Something unreadable flickers across his expression.
âI like knowing youâre still here.â
The room falls quiet again after that.
Outside, the wind brushes softly against the windows, stirring the curtains just enough for the moonlight to shift across the floorboards. He remains beside you, close enough that your shoulders nearly touch now, his presence no longer looming but surrounding.
Slowly, almost cautiously, he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers pausing briefly near your temple as though resisting the urge to linger longer.
The gesture is so unexpectedly gentle that it unsettles you far more than his watching ever did.
His gaze lowers afterwardânot to your injury this time, but to your mouth for the briefest second before returning to your eyes.
Then, very quietly, Joshua says, âPlay something else for me.â
âShould I play you instead?â you murmur with a mocking little scoff, expecting at least some reaction from him.
But Joshua only looks at you.
Unblinking.
Waiting.
The silence stretches long enough to turn the joke into something else entirely.
You let out another breath of disbelief in your smile. âGod, youâre impossible.â
Yet he still says nothing.
Well, he asked for itâa part of you wants to see if heâll finally crackâyou shift sideways and climb into his lap.
For the first time all night, he goes completely still beneath you.
The piano falls silent behind you as your fingers curl loosely against his shoulders, and suddenly the room feels far more smaller than before.
His gaze searches your face carefully, intensely, as if heâs trying to memorize every flicker of expression you make.
âWell?â you whisper teasingly. âWhat song do you think I sound like?â
His hands settle carefully at your waist, not pulling you closer yet, simply holding you there as though testing whether youâll change your mind and move away.
But you donât.
The moonlight spills across the piano keys behind you, pale ivory glowing softly in the dark while the unfinished melody still hangs faintly in the room like the last breath of a performance.
âSomething dangerous,â Joshua says at last, his voice low enough that you feel it more than hear it.
Your lips curve slightly. âThatâs not a song.â
âNo,â he murmurs, eyes lowering briefly to your mouth again. âBut it sounds like one.â
The air between you thickens after that.
Joshuaâs restraint had always felt frightening beforeâhis stillness, the way he watched instead of touchedâbut now, sitting in his lap with his hands warm against your waist, it feels like standing too close to a thunderstorm waiting to break.
You become painfully aware of every tiny movement. The slow drag of his thumb against your side. The measured rise and fall of his breathing beneath yours. The way his gaze lingers on you with terrifying concentration, as though nothing else in the world exists beyond this room.
Your fingers drift unconsciously toward the collar of his shirt, grazing the fabric there.
He exhales softly at the contact.
Such a small sound.
Yet it alters the atmosphere instantly, like the first piano key pressed before a symphony begins.
Then his hand slides upward along your spine, slow enough to make your pulse stumble, and suddenly the distance between you disappears altogether.
The kiss feels less like affection and more like surrendering to something inevitable. Slow at firstâhesitant and careful. Then deeper when your hands tighten against him and his composure finally fractures beneath your mouth.
Somewhere in the haze of tangled breaths and moonlight, your back brushes the piano keys accidentally.
A soft discordant note rings through the room.
Neither of you pulls away.
Another note follows when Joshuaâs hand slips lower against you, deeper and richer this time, blending quietly with the unsteady sound escaping your throat.
The piano begins answering every movement in scattered murmurs of musicâlow trembling chords, broken half-notes, sharp gasps of sound whenever your bodies shift against the keys.
And eventually even your moans seem to melt into it, threading together with the instrument until the entire room sounds like one long aching composition played entirely out of breath.
The next morning, when he leaves briefly to shower, you plod quietly to the bedroom door.
Your fingers curl around the knob and turn it carefully, expecting the familiar resistance of a lock, but the handle gives way easily beneath your hand. The door opens barely an inch before stopping abruptly against something solid.
You pause.
It's not locked.
Just⊠restrained.
Frowning faintly, you try again with more force this time, but the result is the same. The handle turns completely, yet the door refuses to open wider than that narrow sliver.
A strange calm settles over you despite the warning bells beginning to ring somewhere deep in your mind. Crouching down, you try to peer through the narrow gap.
A chair sits wedged beneath the handle from the outside.
It's placed not out of caution but strategically. The door has shut on the canary bird's face, leaving it only to flutter and chirp around in its cage.
You straightened up tardily.
The room cages in, feeling smaller and the air grows thinner against your lungs, but the panic never arrives.
You simply step back and return to the edge of the bed, lowering yourself onto it with eerie composure, your hands folding neatly together in your lap as though preparing for a conversation already rehearsed in your mind.
By the time Joshua returns, damp hair clinging slightly to his forehead while he absently dries it with a towel, your expression has smoothed itself into something unreadable.
He smiles softly the moment he sees you.
âMorning.â
You hold his gaze without acknowledging his greeting.
âHow long?â You ask quietly.
His movements falter almost imperceptibly, fingers stilling against the towel. âHow long what?â
âHow long have you been blocking the door?â
For the briefest fraction of a second, his smile slips.
âIâm not blocking it.â
âThereâs a chair under the handle.â
Joshua hesitates before speaking again. âThatâs only so it doesnât swing open.â
Your eyes remain fixed on him.
âIt opens inward.â
Silence floods the room.
Something shifts visibly in his expression then, though it is not anger and not irritation either. It resembles fear too closely for comfortâraw, trembling fear struggling beneath all that careful composure.
âI canât let anything happen to you,â he says at last, the words escaping more like confession than explanation.
You study him with the same detached concentration you once used on your own reflection after the accident. Blankly. Clinically.
âYou think the world is what took my eye.â
His breathing turns uneven almost immediately. You struck the center of it too easily.
âIt did,â he insists.
âNo,â you reply softly. âA moment did.â
Joshua takes a step toward you, fingers tightening unconsciously around the damp towel in his hands. âYou donât understand,â he says, voice beginning to crack beneath the strain. âI saw you clutch your bleeding eye, screaming in pain. I sawââ He swallows hard. âI wonât survive that twice.â
The room becomes unbearably still after that. Every object remains perfectly arranged around you, every curtain neatly drawn, every corner controlled with suffocating precision, yet Joshua himself suddenly looks like the only unstable thing inside it.
Slowly, you rise from the bed.
You move around it carefully, deliberately, until only a foot of space remains between you.
âI survived,â you say firmly.
He shakes his head immediately, as though survival itself had never been the point.
Your gaze drifts briefly toward the restrained door before returning to him again.
âYouâre afraid Iâll break,â you murmur.
His eyes glisten faintly in the dim morning light.
You tilt your head slightly.
âBut JoshuaâŠâ
Your voice remains unnervingly calmâgentle, even.
âIâm not the one whoâs breaking.â
The words linger heavily between you.
And for the first time since the hospital, his expression shifts into something uncertain, as though he no longer knows whether he is protecting you from the world outside the roomâor from himself.
"You are afraid," you point out.
The atmosphere shifts almost imperceptibly after that. Joshua had been standing close enough for you to feel the lingering warmth from the shower still clinging to his skin, his hands half-raised like he might reach for you if you sway even slightly, but now you straighten fully beneath his gaze, posture smoothing into something composed and deliberate.
Your visible eye fixes on his.
âAnd youâre hiding something from me.â
He stills.
There is no accusation in your voice, no sharpness meant to provoke him. The certainty alone is enough.
For a moment he simply watches you, jaw tightening faintly before his expression smooths itself back into careful control. âIâm protecting you,â he says again, quieter this time, as though repeating it enough might make it true.
âYou say my father is still angry. That heâll harm me if I go out.â Your voice is steady, almost detached. âBut you wonât let me go speak to him. You wonât let me make it right.â
His jaw tightens and something flickers behind his eyes, brief enough that most people would miss it entirely.
You donât.
âIt was me who rejected your marriage proposal,â you continue softly. âIf there are consequences, Iâll deal with them myself.â
The words land heavier than any shouting ever could, followed by a silence that stretches thin between you.
Joshuaâs grip tightens unconsciously around the damp towel in his hands before he finally exhales through his nose and looks away for the first time since entering the room. âYou donât understand the situation.â
âAnd Mr. Hong,â you add curtly, with deliberation, âyou still havenât caught the man who threw acid in my face.â
That makes him look back immediately.
You havenât called him Mr. Hong in days.
You used to reserve it for moments when distance was intentional. Joshua notices the shift instantly. You can tell by the way his expression hardens for only a second before softening again into something almost pleading.
He inhales slowly. âThe investigation is ongoing.â
âThatâs what youâve said for weeks.â
âYou were unconscious.â
âAnd before that?â
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out immediately. His gaze flickers briefly toward the covered mirror near the corner of the room before returning to you again, and the movement is subtle enough that he probably thinks you wonât notice.
You do.
âYou tell me my father is furious,â you went on. âThat heâs unstable. That heâll hurt me if I leave this house.â A faint tilt of your head. âBut you donât let me see him. You donât let me call him. You donât even let me step outside.â
Joshua takes a slow breath with a step back, though it does little to steady him. âIâm trying to keep you safe.â
âFrom him?â
âYes.â
Your gaze remains fixed on his face. âOr from the truth?â
The room feels strangely smaller after that question; the silence pressing inward from every direction. He drags a hand down his face slowly, composure beginning to fray around the edges in a way youâve never seen before. He heaves out as he throws the damp towel carelessly on the bed.
âYou donât understand how dangerous this is,â he says.
âThen explain it to me.â
His breathing grows uneven. Not dramatically. Just enough for you to hear it in the quiet room.
When he doesnât answer, you do it for him instead.
âMy father opposed your expansion deal, didn't he?â you murmur a guess. âHe probably rejected your terms publicly.â Your gaze never leaves his. âI rejected you with much less crowd.â
Joshuaâs eyes sharpen immediately. âYou think I would hurt you because of that?â
âI donât know what to think anymore.â
The honesty in your voice lands heavier than anger would have.
A tense silence blankets the room.
âYou were there that evening,â you continued after a moment. âYou were the first one to reach me. You were the one who pulled me away.â
His throat moves as he swallows.
âYou told me it was some hired criminal. Some disgruntled competitor.â
âIt was.â
âThen why havenât you found him?â
His mouth opens and closes like a dying fish.
For the first time since you woke up in the hospital, he looks genuinely cornered by you, and the realization settles strangely in your chest. You had grown so used to his control that seeing cracks appear beneath it feels almost surreal.
âIf my father truly wanted to punish me, he would confront me. He wouldnât hide.â You tilt your head slightly. âAnd he certainly wouldnât miss the opportunity to tell me, âI told you so.ââ
Joshuaâs lips part, but no words crawl out.
âYou kept me in this room,â you continue. âYou covered every mirror. You blocked the door with a chair.â Your voice remains calm enough to be unsettling. âYou speak to me as if Iâm something fragile enough to break apart if handled incorrectly.â
His jaw tightens. âBecause youâve been through something traumatic.â
âBut you never let me see the reports. Or the footage. Or anything that actually happened.â
His voice drops a few octaves. âBecause you donât need to relive it.â
âOr because you donât want me seeing something.â
That finally breaks something in him.
Not loudly. Not violently. Just a small, unmistakable fracture in the careful composure he has been maintaining since the hospital.
âYou think I did this?â Joshua asks evenly.
You hold his gaze without flinching.
âI think,â you say after a moment, âthat youâre terrified of losing control.â
The words hit him harder than an accusation ever could. You see it immediately in the way he recoils slightly as if it had struck him somewhere tender.
"I would never hurt you," he says, and this time the words sound bruised rather than defensive.
âI know."
That answer somehow makes his expression worse.
âYou wouldnât throw acid at me yourself,â you continue softly. âBut you would decide what Iâm allowed to know. Where Iâm allowed to go. Who Iâm allowed to speak to.â Your eye sharpens faintly. âYou would decide which version of the truth Iâm permitted to live with.â
Joshuaâs hands begin trembling almost imperceptibly at his sides.
âYour father threatened me,â he blurts out. âAfter you rejected me. He said I would regret involving you in my world.â
âAnd you believed he would scar his own daughter to make a point?â
Joshua hesitates.
Only briefly, but long enough.
Understanding doesnât hit you like a wave. It settles slowly inside you after that, cold and heavy rather than sudden.
âWho benefits?â You ask.
His breathing becomes uneven.
âYou moved me into your house,â you murmur. âYou isolated me from everyone else. You became my only source of information.â Your gaze drifts briefly toward the blocked door before returning to him again. âMy only protection.â
âThatâs not what this is.â
âYou became indispensable.â
The room falls silent again. Outside the windows, wind brushes softly against the curtains, stirring them just enough for the shadows to shift faintly across the floorboards.
You take one slow step toward him.
âI rejected you,â you carry on. âNot because I doubted your power."
Your expression barely changes.
âBecause I was afraid of this.â
âAfraid of what?â
A quiet breath leaves you.
âOf loving someone who only knows how to love himself.â
The words linger heavily between you.
Joshua looks at you differently after thatânot like something fragile anymore, nor like someone he needs to be carefully preserved. He looks at you like someone steadily slipping beyond his control, and the fear in his expression deepens in a way that feels far more honest than anything else he has said tonight.
Outside the room, the house remains unnervingly quiet.
And for the first time since the accident, you begin wondering whether the danger you had been warned about had ever truly been outside this house at all.
The frightening part is that even now, standing right in front of him, you still cannot tell how much of Joshua is performing and how much of him is real. You had always been good at recognizing others' acts but you never have been good at putting one on your own.
His performance could really rival the stars of the theater, you think.
You walk closer.
"Let me ask you again, Mr. Hong, did you catch the hitman?"
His face ashes at your question. He looks away briefly before meeting your gaze again; his jaw clenching taut. "Yes. He's been dealt with," he says coldly, not elaborating on what exactly he had done to the person responsible for taking your eye.
The answer didnât surprise you. You had known ever since he appeared behind you in the bathroom mirrorâhis clothes stained with blood. In that moment, you understood he had been dealt with that very night.
"How so?"
Joshua hesitates before answering honestly, "I had him brought to my warehouse. My men... they broke every bone in his body. Then I personally shot him in the head seven times." His voice was crisp and detached, revealing how ruthless he truly was.
"Oh, so you silenced him. Not a bad strategy," you opine.
His eyes expand an inch at your nonchalant response. He expected shock, maybe even disgust. Instead, you simply accept his brutal methods with a calm nod. He feels a strange sense of respect for your understanding of his world. "You're not... disgusted?" he asks curiously, tilting his head.
"Mr. Hong, it's you who arranged everything. Why act so shocked now?"
He throws his head back and laughs his head off. You have a point. He should stop treating you like a fragile woman. You have the capability of being his equal, understanding his world better than most. He replies to your previous question instead, "Yes, I silenced him. No loose ends. No information at risk of getting out."
You stare at him for a good minute, seeing his mask echo off with his laughter lifts a rock off your chest.
"Did you take my eye because I rejected you?" You inquire out of the blue.
His laughter fades as he takes a step back, his gaze settling on your face with quiet vehement. The calm acceptance of your injury, the understanding of his methods... and now this direct question. He realizes you are not just beautiful, but intelligent and unfiltered. "Yes," he admits curtly.
You scoff, "What a fragile ego you've got."
He freezes.
For a fleeting moment, an unsettling silence descends upon the room.
No woman has ever dared to speak to him like this. People fear Joshua Hong too much to challenge him, too much to even breathe wrong around him. Yet you stand across from him with one ruined eye and the audacity to mock the very ego that destroyed it.
You look at him with sharp amusement, as though his violence is nothing more than an inconvenient character flaw.
And Godâhe finds it intoxicating.
Something vile and rancid flickers behind his eyes.
âWatch your mouth,â he breathes, the faint warning far more alarming than any shouting ever could be.
You stare at him in silenceânot a trace of fear creases your expression.
Joshua scrutinizes your face, waiting for the flinch that never comes. Refusing to look away, your one eye remains fixed on him with a steadiness sharp enough to challenge him outright.
His hand reaches out to clip your chin firmly without his conscious thought, tilting your face up more. "You know what your problem is?" He growls, his words grating like gravel. "No filter. No fear." His thumb drags brusquely across your bottom lip. "And one less eye to roll at me."
His lips mashed against yours in an animalistic claim. It's a hungry attempt meant to consume you wholeâa war of colliding teeth and tongue invading your mouth. He sucks up all your breath as his heat steams you up. The calm gentleman act is peeling off him as his grip slides from your chin to the back of your neck, holding you exactly where he wants you while his mouth devours yours, swallowing every smart remark before it can leave your tongue. The heat from him is overwhelmingâanger, tension, wantâall tangled together.
When he finally pulls back, barely an inch, his breath ghosts against your lips.
âMarry me,â he proposes while still panting.
"No."
Joshua leans back more, his eyes brewing with rage and desire. No one ever says no to him. Especially not after a kiss like that. His hand clenches on your nape with untamed possessiveness. "Yes," he corrects, his face only a few inches from yours with his hot breath fanning over your mouth. "You will marry me and wear my ring. My last name. My everything."
"Why do you want to marry me so badly?" You blurt out with a huff.
He searches your face, seeing the confusion and stubbornness in your one good eye. He wanted to marry you because you rejected him. Because you stood up to him. Because you were beautiful, intelligent, and fearless. But he admits to none of that. "Because I want what I can't have," he says simply.
"You will never have it."
An ominous smile curves up his lips at your defiance.
He likes this part of youâthe refusal to bend, the fact that you donât throw yourself at his feet the way everyone else seems to. Your resistance only sharpens his interest, it feeds something possessive and relentless in him.
"We'll see about that," he murmurs, his thumb pressing coarsely against your bottom lip again, firm enough to demand your attention as his gaze locks onto yours.
âI always get what I want,â he whispers softly, the promise in his voice far more menacing than if heâd raised it.
âEventually.â
Joshua leans in closer, his words soaking in a perilous intent. "You think I'm joking? I took your eye because I was angry. I'm offering marriage because I'm intrigued. What do you think I'll do when I'm tired of waiting?"
"Explode with anger?" You snigger.
A deep, stormy hue whirls in his eyes.
You had no idea how dangerous he was.
He watches you in silence for a momentâyour calm expression, your single beautiful eye studying him without a trace of fear. Most people broke beneath his stare. You only looked back harder every single time.
âYes,â he agrees with his words kneaded with deceptive softness. âAngry.â His jaw clicks. âYou rejected me. You called me an animal. You slapped me.â A deliberate icy pause blows by. âSo I took an eye.â
Your expression doesnât change.
âYou canât change your nature,â you reply evenly. âA pig stays a pig its entire life.â
Something boils in him with raucous gurgling, bubbles forming then popping again and again.
His hand slides from the back of your neck to your throat, fingers wrapping around it with controlled pressureânot enough to truly hurt, just enough to steal the air from your lungs. He pulls you closer until his face hovers inches from yours again, eyes blazing with fury and something elseâ
Excitement.
"Careful with your words," he growls. "This pig will eat you alive."
You struggle against his grip, but your attitude remains flippant with another smile curving up your lips.
"You can't reverse the food chain either," you taunt.
The silence stretches taut between you, then he throws his head back and lets out a loud guffaw. God, you are smart, sharp-tongued, and incredibly foolish. Although he admits that it's refreshing to see someone not scared of him.
When his gaze settles on you again, it's heavier, with edges curved with obsession. His voice drops an octave when he speaks again. "You know what your problem is?" He didn't give you a chance to answer, snapping his fingers instead. "No filter. No fear. One eye."
Joshua releases your throat instead of squeezing tighter; his fingers trail down your neck with ghost touches as they tickle like a feather. Your lack of fear keeps fascinating him more and more. The most fearless man would at least be terrified of him by now, but not you. "You'll really call me every animal imaginable, huh?" he ponders. "Dog, pig, beast..."
His lips twitched at witnessing your quiet expression. No smart remarks. No insults. Just one beautiful eye staring blankly, giving nothing away. He realizes somethingâ"You're like a snake,"he mutters faintly, almost to himself. "No reaction. No sound. One sudden bite..." he chortles.
"Snakes are two-facedâI'm not," you point out with no shame.
His eyes enlarge an inch at your curt response, then he laughs again. You are right. You aren't sneaky or two-faced like a snake. In fact, you are direct and honest, even when insulting him. "You know what?" he asks out of the blue.
"I'm going to marry you whether you like it or not. You can keep your sharp tongue and your one eye. Maybe I'll even let you keep calling me names." His touch ceases on your neck as he steps back abruptly, making you inhale big gulps of air. "Consider it your engagement gift."
Joshua watches you regain your composure with no fluctuation of anger or fear, not even helplessness in it. He was used to women fainting at his feet, crying happy tears at his proposals. You just sat there like a statue with your one good eye staring blankly at him like you couldn't care less. "You haven't screamed or slapped me for so long," he grumbles.
You stay silent, pondering over your available cards as you calculate your best feasible option. "You want to marry me? Then you must give me in dowry what I ask for," you challenge, setting up a condition.
His eyebrows shot up at your sudden demand. No woman would dare to ask for a dowry from him. They would be too busy thanking their lucky stars for marrying a powerful man like him. "Oh?" He takes a step closer to you again. "And what exactly do you want?"
"I want your eye," your lips curve up.
His expression freezes. He thought you'd ask for money, cars, houses... but an eye? His hand automatically touches his good eye. "My eye?" He repeats dubiously.
No, you don't resemble a snake but an orcaâit is known for waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
An involuntary chill travels up his spine.
"An eye for an eye, fair enough, isn't it?" You arch a brow, lolling your headâdaring him to reject your bold demand.
Joshua stares at you for a long moment, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn't catch up to. He had expected many things from this woman, but not this. Not such cold, calculated revenge. He let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "Fair enough," he agrees with no hesitation.
A haughty smile blooms on your face.
He really isn't joking or bluffing anymore. You want his eye? Fine. He respects the hell out of that ruthless demand, although he doubts you have the guts to carry it out. Most women want jewelry or cars, but you want him to experience the same blindness he'd given you. "You know what?" he asks suddenly.
"No wonder they say don't get into arguments with intelligent women. You're dangerous. One eye. No filter. No mercy," he snorts, finding this whole situation whimsical and clearly still doubting your ability to carry through it. He heaves out, carding his digits through his strands messily.
"You realize if I give you my eye, I'll be half blind?" He coos as if giving a toddler with explosive tantrums a last chance before they fuck things up.
"Serves you right. You must first blind yourself like you did me," you scoff and roll your eye.
An amused smile spreads across his lips at your bitter response. He finds himself strangely attracted to this woman's brutal honesty and justice more and more. "Fucking perfect," he snickers, echoing a sharp clap and leaves the bedroom to fetch his favorite dagger. After a couple of minutes he comes back with it and sits down on the bed in front of you.
"Do it," he says as he drops the dagger into your hand with glee and ridicule sparkling in his eyes.
"I'll take my sweet time," you pass a half-smile as you slide off its sheath.
Joshua lets out a chortle even though he doubts you meant every wordâyou'd make him suffer slowly with sheer anticipation of it, then will chicken out like he expects you to.
He spreads his legs further, getting comfortable as if preparing himself for a long torture session. His good eye keeps an eye on you. "Take your time," he glib with a challenge.
He watches you straighten your back and study the dagger. He feels a strange mix of fear and... exhilaration. You trudge off to lock the door, and when you return, he realizes this is actually happening. You are really going to blind him like he blinded you.
His breath hitches as you reach out and grab his wrist, forcing his hand flat on the silk sheet. Your grip is surprisingly strong. He feels the cold metal of the dagger press against his palm, then it ghosts against his knuckles, making him bite his lip as he hisses. Your legs bracket his own as you straddle him, pushing his back to the silk sheet. The icy blade travels up to his face, pressing lightly under his right eye.
Joshua breaks into a cold sweat, his heart hammering fiercely against his ribcage as the dagger now hovers mere millimeters away from his eyeball. He watches the cold steel display a trembling messâa reflection of his own trembling self. Abruptly, he grabs your wrist with his free hand, stopping the blade.
"Wait," he hoarsely pants.
His grip on your wrist is a constraint, but not a painful one. His good eye locks onto your single eye; a concoction of fear, arousal, and something else stirs in his gaze. He is giving you a chance to stop, but also testing your resolve.
"Scared?" You arch your brow tauntingly.
He let out a titter, his thumb rubbing against your wrist. "Terrified." He admits softly. He is terrified of the pain, yes. But also terrified of the raw power you hold over him in this moment.
"Good," you grin. Joshua almost scoffs at how grinning you have gotten. He hasn't seen you so jolly before, but he also never expected that he would one day end up under today's dooming circumstances.
His right eye flickers down to the blade pressing under it, then back up to your single, merciless eye. He'd never felt so helpless, so completely at someone else's mercy. And he finds it strangely... arousing. "You're actually going to do it," he acknowledges the elephant in the room.
Your lack of responseâno smirk, no sigh, no hesitationâsends a shiver down his spine. You are serious. Deadly serious. He takes a deep breath as he steadies himself. He is about to experience the same darkness he'd forced upon you.
"Do it!"
Joshua watches your jaw tick, your knuckles turning white as you grip the dagger handle tighter. He sees your single eye concentrate back on his right eye, realizing you are not going to give him mercy like he'd given youânone at all. He hisses as the blade abruptly presses into his pupil, blooming a dull ache.
He closes his good eye, bracing himself for more pain. He feels the cold metal press in harder, then suddenlyâ
"Ahhh!"
He cries out as you plunge the dagger straight into his eye socket. Blood splatters across your face like a fountain. He screams his lungs out, trying to hold onto your wrist as he drags his nails across your skin in a futile attempt. His bloody crescent moons travel up to your face, making you screech.
His digits claw at your eye patch, punching into it, which echoes by a loud crack of the conformer breaking with it. A gush of blood pours down your eye patch, his knuckles are now pressing much closer to your hollow socket behind the patch.
He screamsâyou scream.
"AHHH!"
"AHHH!"
Despite the excruciating pain throbbing behind your eye patch, you fight against his grip, trying to press the dagger more into his eye socket.
"Sir? Ma'am? Is everything okay?" One of his men starts banging on the door, and it only gets more insistent and louder as they receive only screams in reply.
"Hello? Please open the door!" The doorknob twists but refuses to budge open, as you had locked it earlier.
The intolerable pain paralyzes him, making it easier for you to hold him downâthe world almost blacks out on his end.
You laugh manically, thrusting it in and out over and over again.
After you had your funâroughly seventeen stabs into his eyeâyou do take your sweet time cutting the attached substances to his eyeball and scooping it out while ignoring the obnoxious banging on the door.
Joshua hisses sharply, his body going rigid as the pain shoots through his skull.
He'd given you one eyeânow you have returned the favor. He felt hot blood trickle down his cheek, and he bit back another cry as an agonizing pain threatened to overtake his consciousness.
He is officially half-blind like you.
He opens his remaining good eye to look at you. His injured eye is weeping bloody tears, and you are more than happy to wipe them away; in fact, you even coo at him as you wipe them off.
He stares at you, his remaining good eye brewing with a mix of pain, shock, and something elseârespect. You have done exactly what he had done to you. He reaches up and touches his injured eye socket gently, wincing at the pain.
You get off him with his eyeball in your hand. Crossing the room, you put his eyeball on an unused ashtray, which was resting on the nightstand.
Your feet amble to the door before they tear it down.
You hand over the ashtray with instructions to store it away. Joshua's right hand-man boils red as you nonchalantly instruct the maid standing beside him, whose face is draining fast of all the colors at the unhinged sight of an eyeball on the ashtray.
The right hand-man looks over your shoulder to find Joshua still bleeding on the bed. He wants to scream at you, but he thinks better of it and gives a curt nod, and shouts at the poor maid to hurry up and bring in the first aid box.
His right-hand man knows Joshua is an unhinged man himself, and he was fully capable of avoiding this catastrophe. He gulps down his questions and scrams off.
By the time the maid returns with the first aid box, he genuinely feels nauseous and lightheaded.
He put a hand over his injured eye socket, still processing the fact that you had actually gone through with it. He had expected guilt, hesitation, mercyâbut you gave him none of those things. You gave him exactly what he'd given you. "You're insane," he mutters flatly.
You laugh at his comment, licking his blood off the dagger.
The maid flinches at the odd, suffocating atmosphere and swiftly starts to bandage his eye while he sits there stunned and bleeding. Luckily for him, the maid is a drop-out med student, so she can deal with this deranged injury and situation. Although he will still have to pay a proper visit to the doctor later.
Joshua watches as you lick the blood off the blade insouciantly, as if nothing crazy happened. His good eye expands in shock and revulsion. That laughâthat cold, insane laughâechoing in his mind. "Fucking psychopath," he scowls.
A boiling rage rises up in his chest.
He is half-blind now. One eye is gone. Replaced with darkness. Just like you. He suddenly realizes how fucking dangerous you are. How quickly you went from a calm woman with soulless eye to laughing your head off while stabbing into his eye. The maid finishes bandaging his eye fast and leaves silently with hurried steps.
You just smile.
He gulps, realizing he has invited a psychopath into a marriage proposal.
Joshua stands up slowly, testing his balance with one less eye. He feels offâdisoriented. He looks at you with his remaining good eye. Your single eye sparkles with pure joy. He suddenly had the urge to runâto get as far away from you as possible.
He backs away step by step as his heart races almost out of his chest. He is scaredâscared of you, scared of the marriage proposal he'd just made to a literal psychopath. He trips over his own feet and falls back onto the bed with a winch, clutching his bandaged eye.
"Stay away from me!"
"C'mon, Hong. Your pretty eye might taste just as good as you look." You lick your lips, standing up and strolling towards him with a half-smile.
Joshua stumbles back, suddenly reminded of how you liked eating fish eyes in the restaurant that day. He lets out a choked scoff in disbeliefâhe fell for your gameâhook, line, and sinker with your eye as bait.
He scrambles back further on the bed as you approach him with that half-smileâa smile that now sends shivers down his spine instead of butterflies in his stomach. His good eye widens in horror as memories flood backâyou complimenting his eyes during that dateâdropping your keychain.
"Stop!" he blurts out in desperation.
"Why? We are going to get married just like you wanted," you say, leaning down to his eye level.
Joshua flinches back as you lean in closer, his heart pounding in his chest. He is trappedâtrapped by his own stupid marriage proposal to a woman who seems to take the phrase 'having an eye on each other' way too literally.
He could see your single eye up closeâcoldâinsane.
"Don't forget to join our celebration dinner tonight," you beam, kissing his forehead, your lips rather feeling cold.
Joshua gulps.
He knows what's going to be served on the table tonight.
He nods numbly, his body shaking slightly as you kiss his forehead. He knew what was coming tonightâa celebration dinner where he would be the main course. His good eye wells up with tears as he grasps the horror of his situationâhe had proposed to a monster who literally wanted to eat his eyes.
Joshua sits there frozen on the bed as you leave the room. He buries his face in his hands as sobs wrack his body.
He has fallen in love with a beautiful, cold monster who loves to eat fish eyes. He still can't believe he is going to marry a psychopathic eye-eating monster. "Why did I propose to her?" He cries into his hands.
Later that night, you hum in satisfaction, finding it delicious as you munch on his well cooked eye.
Joshua doesn't know when he fell asleep but he does know the ringing question in his head when he wakes up with the throbbing pain in his empty socket.
How did you know he was behind the acid attack and took your eye?
His brain files through countless theories as he washes up. He walks downstairs absentmindedly and almost bumps into the dining table.
You chuckle at his clumsiness, making him finally look up at you sitting across the mahogany table. The table is adorned with various dishes but that one dish sitting in front of you makes him gag.
It's his mangled eyeball soaked in sauce and surrounded by a lush lattice.
He watches in horror from the other side of the table as you happily cut his cooked eye and eat it, savoring every bite. Tears start to stream down his face as he realizes the truthâyou loved eating eyes so much that you were willing to marry just to get more eye meat. He feels sick and violated.
A bile crawls up his throat, making him bend over and cover his mouth.
His stomach churns as he watches you chomp down his eye like it was some kind of delicacy. He had always been attracted to your unhinged cold look, he was always curious to discover you more... but now he sees the devil behind those lies. He stands up abruptly, trying to inhale some air and avoid looking at the table and you.
You look up from your plate, your mouth slightly stained with the juices of his cooked eye. You smile coyly like you had just eaten a gourmet meal instead of someone's bodily organ. He feels physically ill at the sight of it all over again. "Mmm...so delicious~" You hum happily, munching on it more.
Joshua takes a step back, looking for his moment to escape from this hell.
"Sit," you order curtly.
He sits down feebly with his trembling legs. He feels like he is in a nightmareâone where the woman he loved turns out to be a cannibalistic monster who had just eaten his eye for dinnerâunfortunately for him he doesn't wake up from it. You commanded him to sit, and he obeyed like a scared puppy, his good eye filled with terror.
Right now, he is nothing like the arrogant and proud self-made millionaire, who tried to put you in a cage but now, he ended up locking himself in it.
His mind wanders off to the question he woke up with and the events of all the time he spent with you start playing in his head. An odd feeling blooms in his chest: everything went too smoothly in your favor as if⊠it was all calculated.
He rubs his clammy hands against his thighs and asks the question that has been weighing on his mind. "Did you arrange that hitman to approach me with this crazy acid attack idea?"
Your knife stills on cutting his eyeball.
Joshua looks at you with a mixture of fear and realization. Then all the pieces click together in his head.
You dropping the keychainâthe men talking about teaching women a lesson at the back of the clubâyou humiliating him publicly by rejecting his proposal and then the hitman attacking you with an acidâit all seems too convenient, too perfectly timed. He had never considered it before, but now it seems obvious.
You have orchestrated this entire thing just to get him and his eyeball.
"You... you arranged the acid attack?"
"All is well now," you reassure him, attempting a coy smile but it rather reminds him of a Cheshire cat, who's toying with him and always had been although he realized it too late.
He feels like a fool. Not only are you a cold monster, you had managed to be a master manipulator, who had planned every step of their relationship with chilling precision. He scoffs, wondering if even that night you played the piano was plannedâeverything was a lie designed to trap him.
"You..." he trails off.
Your expression remains blank as you study his reaction. Your mouth opens and closes just for a moment. "The hitman just made you a suggestion. It's you who choose to take my eye in the first place," you explain coldly. "Actions have consequences, Joshua Hong."
Joshua feels a chill run down his spine at the cold, calculating way you spoke. The hitman was just a pawn in your game, and he was tooâthe fool who had agreed to take your 'eye'âis a sacrifice at the end.
He feels violated, manipulated, and utterly stupid for falling for your charms.
He sits in stunned silence, his mind racing with the realization that he had been played like a violin from the very beginning. He takes in a shaky breath, steeling himself for what's to come next.
"Now," you pick up your glass, expecting him to follow you.
Joshua picks up his glass mechanically.
"Congratulations to us getting engaged," you cheer, clinking their glasses in celebration.
He numbly clinks his glass against yours, his hand still shaking to no end. He feels like a zombie going through the motions as you celebrate your engagementâan engagement built on lies, manipulation, and the literal loss of his eye. The irony is bitter as he toasts to their 'happily ever after'.
"We're matching like a couple too," you laugh, pointing to your re-dressed eye patch and his lost bandaged one.
"Couple goals," you crowed, clinking your glass against his again, making the red wine swirl and almost spill over.
Joshua forces a weak smile, his heavy heart already weighing with dread and despair. The sight of your finger pointing at your own eye patch and at his bandaged socket was like a punch to his gutâa constant reminder of the horror he had willingly walked into. Your laughter echoes off like mocking jeers in his ears as he realizes just how perfectly you had played him.
"An eye for an eye, babe."
That phrase sends a shudder down his spine. It was clear now that every step of this relationship had been calculatedâa twisted game where you have always held the upper hand.
You slide the ring onto his finger. He hadn't even noticed the velvet box sitting on the table beside you. The engagement ring feels like a shackle around his finger instead of a symbol of love. "Right..."
Joshua really fell for the hook, line, and sinker with your eye as bait.
Epilogue: First Look into Dazzling Eyes
The New Yearâs gala unfolded in a vast candlelit garden, where frost clung to marble pathways, bare winter branches swayed in the freezing air of the last December night, and delicate gold-trimmed fountains shimmered beneath a thin layer of ice. Beneath fair lights hanging from ancient trees, the cityâs elite mingle in glittering couture as live musicians play beside overflowing champagne towers and walls of white flowers.
You swirl your red wine mindlessly against the rim of the glass, raising them like waves that never reach shore. Endless chatter bores your eardrums, making you want this celebration to just be over.
You occasionally nod and send synthetic smiles to the greetings of your plastic friends.
âAre you planning to look miserable all night?â Mina asks, appearing beside you with a flute of champagne balanced between her fingers.
You hum absentmindedly. âDepends. Is there anything here worth entertaining?â
She snorts softly and leans in closer. âYou sound like an old heiress trapped in a twenty-three-year-oldâs body.â
âMaybe I am.â
Your eyes drift across the garden anyway, over the glittering gowns and clusters of polished smiles. Then they stop.
A man stands a few tables away beneath the hanging fairy lights, dressed in a black suit that fits like it was stitched onto him. He laughs at something an older businessman says, the sound warm and effortless as he clinks glasses with the group around him. Thereâs nothing loud about him, nothing attention-seeking, yet people orbit him naturally, drawn in by the calm gentleness in his expression.
Beautiful.
Dangerously so.
Mina notices your stare almost immediately. âOh,â she beams with amusement. âSo you do have a pulse.â
You tear your gaze away for half a second. âWho is he?â
âThat,â she says dramatically, âis Joshua Hong. The newest heartthrob of the elite socialite circle.â
The name settles strangely in your chest.
âHe came back from abroad six months ago,â Mina continues. âStarted his own company from scratch and somehow already became a self-made millionaire. I heard he has branches opening all across the country now. Everyoneâs obsessed with him.â
âSounds exhausting,â you reply flatly before taking another sip of wine.
But your eyes betray you, drifting back to him almost instantly.
Joshua tilts his head while listening to someone speak, smiling softly in a way that barely reaches his eyes. The golden lights above scatter against the dark brown of his irises, making them glimmer like sunlight over amber glass.
Then the countdown begins.
âTen!â
The crowd erupts around you as voices echo through the garden.
âNine!â
Joshua glances upward just as the first firework explodes across the midnight sky.
Colors bloom over the garden in brilliant gold and silver, reflecting in the crystal fountains, in champagne glasses, and in his eyes.
And for one suspended moment, with fireworks painting light across his face and laughter spilling from his lips, you canât look away.
âThree!â
Your pulse quickens unexpectedly.
âTwo!â
Mina says something beside you, but the sound fades into the night.
âOne!â
The sky bursts into dazzling color as cheers erupt through the garden.
You stare at Joshua Hong beneath the falling sparks of light and decide right there and thenâ
He will be your New Yearâs goal.
His eyes twinkle with colorful fireworks, peering into a bright soul behind those pupils.
Such pretty deer eyes.
You wonder what they will look like caught in headlights.
Note: The turns have tabled.
I actually watched an eye removal surgery for this fic and I wanted to show off my new knowledge but that would had been an info dump so I didn't lol
Important Characterization Note: If you haven't noticed the fl is 'weird' at expressing emotions. Well, technically bad at putting an act on to be precise. Throughout the story, they both express their emotions at odd timings because they're both putting on an act in front of each other for their own agendas. However, Joshua's curiosity towards fl is genuine. And they both do have their moments where their masks slip and they're vulnerable.
I tried to include a lot of subtext in their dynamic and in story. Let me know your perspective. I would love to read y'all's theories.
This was my first attempt at writing unreliable narrative, so how was it?
Joshua:
Tagging readers from the waiting list: @dontwonder05 @joshujin @eskoupe
Tagging readers who showed interested in it (sorry, if you didn't want to be tagged): @arkihives @aethnie @bobathi
                              â
How do u know if ur writing/story is actually good if ppl only leave likes and rarely any reblog or comments đ„Č
I know because I write for myself and my own enjoyment. I donât write for strangersâ validation. so if I like what I wrote then my writing is good enough for the target audience, aka me.
Write whatever you want. Write that incredibly niche thing that only two other people on earth will get. Write the super indulgent cliche thing that makes you kick your feet giddily. Write the angry rage story that whumps them all and makes people cry.
Whatever it is that YOU want to write. Write it. Because only YOU can.
Can you share the colour code used for the how to write a kiss scene post
Okay, so first of all I don't remember the exact codes used and I only had the HTML code to trace it back. But the good news is that I figured out an alternative way for you to use it.
it's just copy pasting that you have to do!
I used a different gradient in heading one but the rest of the headings have same one so there are two sets of codes.
01. Go to this website.
02. Paste only one of the hex code set (given below) then click Load colors, write your text and copy the HTML code.
03. There are a few more additional steps to follow in order to implement it in a Tumblr post. If you don't know how to then follow this gradient tutorial from step 6 after copying the HTML code.
Synopsis: You walk down the aisle as the memories of how Jeonghan treated you throughout your relationship flashes behind your eyes, making you wonder for the first timeâisn't it a bit unethical?
Note: So, my playlist was playing on shuffle and I came across this beautiful song again. And it inspired me to write this on a whim based on just feels and its lyrics. The texts turned bold and italic are transcripts of the lyrics. Also, heads up for emotional manipulation and abuse. Bloody divider by @/k1ssyoursister.
â Read on AO3
đŁhe church doors creaked open.
Everyone rose to their feet.
The organ swelled.
And at the end of the aisle stood Jeonghan, glimmering in black, waiting for you with a face so beautiful it still made your chest ache.
Your father offered his arm.
You took it mechanically.
One step.
Vertigo in your arms
The memory teared openâ
Jeonghan pinned you gently against the kitchen counter after an argument, thumb brushing coarsely beneath your eye where tears still clung to your lashes.
âYouâre too sensitive,â he murmured with a soft laugh.
As if he hadnât been the one to make you cry.
Then he kissed you until you forgot why you were hurting at all.
Another step.
One second you hate me, then itâs false alarm
For nearly two hours, you sat alone in the warm glow of the restaurant while couples laughed softly around you and silverware clinked against porcelain. Across the untouched table, the birthday candles burned lower and lower, wax dripping like slow tears in the absence of him.
When he finally arrived, no apology escaped his lips.
Instead, he leaned down, kissed your cheek with a lazy smile.
âYou know Iâm busy.â
And somehow you ended up apologizing for being upset.
The guests blurred around you.
White flowers.
Black suits.
Mourning clothes pretending to celebrate love.
Another step.
Watch me when I break and say itâs paradise
The balcony of his apartment, cold and dim beneath the flickering city lights.
Rain poured endlessly outside, drumming against the railings like a restless memory.
You had finally snapped that nightâyour cries drowned beneath the thunder and downpour.
âI donât know how to love you anymore,â you hiccuped through sobs.
Jeonghan just stared at you calmly from the couch, the wine glass dangling loosely from elegant fingers.
Then he smiled.
So faint that you squinted to catch it.
âThatâs the thing,â he said. âYouâll keep trying anyway.â
The memory coiled in your stomach, already turned rotten yet refusing to die.
Another step.
The veil suddenly felt like a silken noose tightening around your breath.
Set my body aflame, lock me up and close the door when it rains
Your phone lit up at two in the morning.
Come over.
No greeting. No affection.
The storm raged outside, and despite knowing heâd ignored you for three straight days before thisâyou still went.
Of course you did.
You always came when he called.
Even when he only wanted someone soft enough to absorb his crueltyâyou willingly became his sponge.
Another step.
The organ music ascended, grand and sonorous.
But it rang only funeral music in your ears.
Maybe itâs my fault, I put you up so high
The first time he ever looked at you like you mattered.
That was the worst memory of all because it had been genuine enough to trap you.
Beneath the blur of shimmering city lights, Jeonghan gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingertips lingering against your skin as he leaned closer and whispered softly, âNo one understands me like you do.â
You built a religion out of crumbs after that.
And he let you.
Another step.
Your bouquet trembled violently in your hands now.
At the altar, Jeonghan smiled faintly as if he already owned you.
Darling, I think you could make the Devil cry
Another memory surged to the surface, reopening a wound of an agonizing sequence.
His grip around your wrist had been too tightâmore anger than restraint.
Not enough to bruise.
Enough to warn.
His face morphed into another time.
âYouâre embarrassing me,â he gritted out.
His shard words pierced your soul with frigid and sharp precision.
Just because you cried in front of his friends after he disappeared on your anniversary.
Another one flashed behind your eyes.
Jeonghan pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, an artificial warmth lingering there.
âI didnât mean it.â
But he never sounded sorry.
Only irritated that consequences existed.
Another step.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer to him.
And Iâve been waiting for the sunset, waiting on a sorry
You remembered every night you lay awake waiting for an apology that never came, the passing headlights outside your apartment window casting fleeting shadows across the dark room while silence settled heavier with every hour.
Your eyes fixated on the phone, fingers twitching to check it again and again.
Rehearsing forgiveness before he even asked for it.
But he never did ask.
But you're never sorry, are you?
Because he knew youâd stay anyway.
The aisle suddenly seemed to stretch on forever as if it's a path toward your own grave.
And stillâ
Your heart fluttered and bled at the sight of him.
That was the most humiliating part.
Even now, dressed like death itself, Jeonghan looked at you with those unreadable eyes, and your body recalled love before it remembered pain.
Breakinâ all my bones, tryinâ to hold you close
The very last memory surfaced, a fleeting image, just as you were about to reach the altarâ
Kneeling on his cool bathroom tiles, your hands trembled uncontrollably after your most intense argument, while Jeonghan crouched down to face you.
âYouâre scaring me,â you quavered.
And instead of comforting you, he tucked a strand behind your ear tenderly and asked, âThen why are you still here?â
The church bustled with celebration, but to you it's a funeral dressed as a wedding.
Jeonghan reached for your hand.
You realize every step down this aisle had not been leading you toward marriage.
It had been leading you back through every wound he ever gave you.
Your fingers slipped into Jeonghanâs chilly hand.
The church applauded softly.
They thought this was love.
They didnât know love had already died long before today.
Jeonghanâs thumb brushed across your knuckles with practiced tenderness, and the touch alone nearly unraveled you.
Because thisâthisâwas how he always kept you.
Gentle after cruelty.
Soft after destruction.
Like a man setting fire to a house only to wrap the survivor in a blanket afterward.
The officiant began speaking, but the words drowned beneath another memory.
Got me wrapped around your cold fingertips
Jeonghan stood outside your apartment at midnight, snowflakes settling silently in his dark hair as though winter itself refused to let him go.
You had sworn you wouldnât let him in this time.
Not after he disappeared for a week.
Not after those rumors.
Not after the way he ignored your every message while you slowly convinced yourself you were unlovable.
But then he looked at you through the cracked doorway and sighed softly.
âAre you really going to leave me outside?â
Leave him.
As if you were the cruel one.
And stupidly, desperately, you moved aside.
The moment he stepped into your apartment, his hands found your waist.
âNo one takes care of me like you do,â he murmured against your neck.
You melted into his arms immediately.
Like always.
In the church, your breathing became shallow beneath the veil.
Jeonghan noticed.
Of course he did.
He always noticed your pain best when he caused it himself.
âYou okay?â he asked quietly.
Concerned enough for everyone around you to admire him.
Not concerned enough to stop hurting you.
You nodded automatically.
Maybe itâs my fault I canât walk away
The hotel hallway stretched ahead, only lit by flickering lights and lined with doors that hid everyone but you.
You stood outside his room after hearing laughter echo from inside.
A womanâs giggle.
Your chest caved in itself.
When the door swung open, guilt didn't crease Jeonghan's faceâonly exhaustion did.
âShe means nothing.â
You shouldâve left then.
Instead, tears burning your eyes, you asked the most pathetic question imaginable.
âDo you still love me?â
And Jeonghanâbeautiful, terrible Jeonghanâcupped your face gently before answering: âWhy else would I keep coming back?â
That time it had sounded romantic.
Now it sounded like possession.
The officiant smiled warmly. âLove requires sacrifice.â
Your stomach churned and twisted with a grimace.
No one had sacrificed more than you.
Cut my heart right out my body
You deleted photos of yourself because Jeonghan once casually mentioned he preferred quieter girls.
You skipped dinners with friends because he hated when your attention wasnât on him.
You apologized after he made you cry.
Again.
Again.
Again.
You had peeled yourself apart piece by piece just to fit inside the shape of what he wanted.
Yet it was still never enough.
Jeonghan leaned in closer while the officiant spoke.
âYouâre shaking,â he observed flatly.
You wanted to laugh.
You wanted to scream.
Instead, you whispered curtly, âDo you ever feel bad?â
A pause.
Tiny.
Almost nonexistent.
But you felt it.
His fingers tightened around yours.
âFor what?â
The question hollowed you out completely.
He genuinely didnât know.
Or maybe he did and simply believed loving him should hurt.
The stained glass windows glowed crimson from the setting sun, painting the church in violent shades of red.
âIf this hurts so much, why donât you leave?â
And the worst part? Sometimes he sounded genuinely curious.
As if your suffering fascinated him.
The officiant finally asked the life changing question.
âDo you take this manââ
Your gaze lifted toward Jeonghan, toward the face you had loved enough to ruin yourself for.
And another memory unfolded behind your eyes.
It wasn't cruel one this time, but much worseâtender.
Jeonghan half asleep beside you one early morning, sunlight spilling across white sheets in golden stripes while he held your wrist loosely in his hand.
You remembered staring at him and thinking:
I would survive anything for you.
Maybe that was where everything truly began.
Not with his cruelty but with your willingness to endure it.
The church waited.
Rows of strangers held their breath for your answer, unaware they were witnessing the slow autopsy of a relationship instead of a wedding ceremony.
Your lips parted.
Nothing came out.
Across from you, Jeonghan watched silently.
Calm on the outside, but you knew him well enough now to notice the tiny signs.
The slight tension in his jaw, and the way his fingers tightened almost imperceptibly around yours.
He was nervous.
Not because he feared losing you.
Because he feared losing control.
The realization made something inside you ache.
Tell me, have I not given you enough?
The lyric echoed through your mind like a prayer.
Enough.
You had given him enough to fill several lifetimes.
You gave him softness when he was cruel.
Patience when he was cold.
Understanding when he gave you nothing but confusion wrapped in synthetic love.
You mourned every version of yourself that died loving him.
You are reminded of when you canceled plans with your family because Jeonghan suddenly wanted to see you after ignoring you for days.
âYouâd choose dinner over me?â he asked lightly.
It was meant to sound lighthearted only on a surface level.
You hesitated, and his smile faded just enough to make panic bloom in your chest.
So you stayed.
Of course you stayed.
The first time you said I love you he didnât say it back.
He only kissed your forehead and whispered, âYou feel things too intensely.â
You spent months afterward trying to love him more quietly.
Less inconveniently.
You cried silently in his bathroom while he slept peacefully in the next room after another fight that you somehow ended up apologizing for.
Staring at your reflection, you barely recognized the person looking back.
Your eyes had looked so tired.
So small.
Like someone slowly disappearing.
The officiant repeated your name gently as the church shifted uncomfortably.
Jeonghanâs expression remained composed, but his voice dropped an octave only for your ears to hear.
âDonât do this here.â
There it was again.
Not donât leave me.
Not please.
Just concern for the scene.
For appearances.
For dignity.
His dignity.
A sharp and broken laugh almost escaped your throat because even now, standing at the edge of losing you forever, Jeonghan still cared more about maintaining control than understanding why you were slipping away.
Isnât it a bit unethical?
Your gaze drifted over his face slowly.
God, he was beautifulâcruelly beautiful.
The kind of beautiful that made people forgive things they shouldnât.
Maybe that was why he never learned.
The world had probably excused him his entire life, and you had certainly done enough of it.
Another memory bubbled up unexpectedlyâ
Jeonghan found you asleep on the couch after you had waited up for him all night.
You remembered waking to a blanket draped carefully over your body.
His fingers brushed gently through your hairâsuch a rare, soft gesture from him.
So loving.
Until he ruined it by murmuring,
âYouâd wait forever for me, wouldnât you?â
At that time, you thought it sounded affectionate.
Now you realized he had been testing the depth of your devotionâmeasuring how much suffering you would tolerate.
And the horrifying part is that the answer had been infinite.
Until now.
The church candles flickered violently as the wind rattled against the tall windows, stained by a dipping sunset.
The last rays of sunlight transformed Jeonghan into a divine spectacle, bathing him in a radiant glow of gold and crimson, as if he were a living flame.
You finally understood why this wedding felt like a funeral.
Because the one being buried here was the version of you that loved him unconditionally.
The version that accepted pain as proof of devotion.
The version that kept kneeling at the feet of someone who never intended to save her.
Jeonghan took a faint step closer.
âLook at me,â he spoke with caressed words.
You did.
And for one terrible second, your resolve nearly shattered.
Beneath all the manipulation, beneath all the cruelty, there was still something wounded inside him, churning into a mess he was.
You saw the faint desperation flicker beneath his calm composure.
In the way he held your hand too tightly now.
In the quiet fear he would never confess aloud.
Jeonghan loved like starving people ateâdesperately, selfishly, without caring what they destroyed in the process.
And maybe he truly didnât know how to love any other way, but understanding his damage wasn't going to bandage your wounds that he caused, neither make you hurt less.
A lone tear trailed down your cheek.
His thumb moved instinctively to wipe it away with a movement that was so tender and careful.
The same hands that broke you always held your pain so gently afterward, and that was the cruelest part.
âI did love you,â you confessed with a timid whisper.
Jeonghan went still.
It's in the past tense.
Did love.
Not just love.
Something fragile cracked visibly in his expression this timeâit was genuine fear.
Finally.
The officiant looked utterly lost now, glancing nervously between both of you, but neither of you noticed.
This moment belonged only to the two people who had spent years destroying each other slowly enough to call it romance.
Your fingers slipped from Jeonghanâs grasp.
And his hand remained suspended in the air for half a second too long, as if he truly believed you would come back if he waited long enough.
The absence of his touch felt catastrophic.
Not freeing.
Not triumphant.
Just empty.
Like pulling a blade from a wound and realizing a part of you had grown around it.
Silence blanketed the church with compressed tension. Even the organ player had stopped.
Everyone was gawking at the pair, but all you could see was Jeonghan.
And for the first time since you met himâhe looked uncertain.
His hand slowly lowered back to his side.
âYouâre serious,â he said quietly.
It wasn't a question, but a sinking realization.
Your ribs clenched your heart excruciatingly because a part of you hated hurting him, even after everything.
Maybe love didnât disappear all at once. Maybe it rotted slowly, leaving behind guilt and grief long after the devotion died.
Jeonghan stepped closer again with a quiet offer.
âWe can fix this.â
The words pierced your soul not because you believed them, but you remembered how many times you once would have.
Three months into your relationship, you sat on the edge of his bed after your first real fight, eyes swollen from crying.
âI donât think I can do this,â you lamented.
And Jeonghan had immediately pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest while he murmured:
âThen weâll fix it.â
You remembered how safe you felt hearing that.
How loved.
Until you realized fixing things always meant you forgiving him while he changed nothing.
Now you looked up at him slowly. âNo,â you said firmly. âYouâll survive this.â
Something vicious flickered behind his eyes.
Survival had never been the point.
He wanted devotion.
He wanted certainty.
He wanted someone who would keep loving him no matter how cruel he became.
And for years, you had.
Jeonghan suddenly sniggered.
It's sewn with disbelief.
âYouâre acting like I ruined your life.â
The words crash landed harsher than any shouting would have.
Your expression faltered.
Even now he still reduced your pain to an exaggeration.
You inhaled shakily.
Another memory surfaced so violently it nearly made you dizzy.
You were in the hospital waiting room alone after having the most horrific panic attack of your entire life.
Your hands trembled uncontrollably while nurses asked if there was someone they could call.
You had called Jeonghan three times.
No answer.
Hours later, he finally texted:
Sorry. Fell asleep.
No concern.
No urgency.
And when you confronted him afterward, he sighed wearily and said:
âYouâre too dependent on me.â
As if he hadnât trained you to orbit around him.
Now, in the church, tears burned your eyes again.
âYou donât even know what you did to me,â you snivelled.
Jeonghanâs composure slipped at last as frustration cracked through his voice. âThen tell me!â
The sudden sharpness startled the guests.
A few shifted uncomfortably in their seats while the others whispered behind cupped hands, but you didn't have the luxury to notice that.
For once, he finallyâfinallyâsounded emotional too.
âYou made me feel impossible to love unless I was suffering for it,â you wept with quivering grievance.
The words echoed through the cathedral.
And they landed raw hideousness, but they were true.
Jeonghan glowered at you.
And for a second, you saw something terrifying in his expression, and it wasn't cruelty but genuine confusion.
As if part of him truly believed pain and love were meant to coexist.
Your heart shattered across the altar all over again.
Maybe he never intended to destroy you.
Maybe this was simply the only way he knew how to be loved.
Possess.
Consume.
Test.
Withhold affection until desperation made devotion deeper.
A cycle so twisted he mistook it for intimacy.
Got me on my knees, have you any mercy?
The lyric pulsed through your mind as another memory came throughâ
You knelt on the floor, the sharp edges of broken wine glass digging into your palms, a stark reminder of the argument that had just ended.
Jeonghan leaned silently against the kitchen counter, looming nearby as his eyes tracked you tidying up the mess he had caused.
Then, he crouched down beside you, taking your bleeding hand gently into his own.
âYouâre gonna cut yourself,â he murmured softly.
So softly, as if he hadnât cut your heart already.
Now, the tears spilled down your cheeks like a river held back by a dam for years.
You were so tired.
So unbearably exhausted.
âI kept thinking if I loved you better,â you bewailed, spilling out your heart with a quivering voice, âyouâd stop hurting me.â
Jeonghan inhaled sharply.
And there it was.
You were glad to witness a first true crack.
Pure agony flashed across his face, fast enough that anyone else mightâve missed it.
But you didnât.
Because despite everythingâyou still knew him better than anyone.
His eyes dropped briefly as if he couldnât bear the weight of your gaze anymore.
And when he spoke again, his voice sounded smaller.
âI never wanted you to hate me.â
A broken laugh escaped your throat through tears.
âHate you?â
God.
If only it were that simple.
You shook your head slowly.
âThatâs the problem,â you pointed out.
âI still love you.â
The confession devastated him.
You saw it happen in real time.
Jeonghanâs entire expression flickeredânot with relief nor victory.
Something far more gloomy.
Because if you still loved him and were leaving anyway⊠then maybe this really was the end.
The stained windows above the altar burned crimson in the dying sunlight, casting fractured colors across his face. Red over his mouth. Gold across his throat.
Beautiful.
Always beautiful.
Even now, standing in the wreckage of your love story, he looked untouchable.
And maybe that had always been part of the problem too.
You loved him as if he were something holy.
He loved you like something that would never leave.
The church remained frozen around you both.
Nobody interrupted.
Nobody moved.
It felt less like a wedding now and more like witnessing two people bleed each other dry in public.
Jeonghan swallowed once more before speaking carefully.
âThen stay.â
So simple.
As if love alone should be enough to survive this.
Your eyes burned in a fresh wave of waterfall.
âYou donât understand,â you retort. âLove stopped being the reason I stayed a long time ago.â
And that unsettled him.
You could tell because for years, Jeonghan had relied on your love like oxygen. No matter what he did, no matter how cold he became, your devotion remained.
It was reliableâendless.
Until it turned into a habit.
Another memory surfacedâ
You curled against his chest after another argument that neither of you truly resolved.
Jeonghan was half asleep, his fingers lazily tracing circles against your wrist.
âYouâll never leave me,â he murmured drowsily.
It wasn't hopeful, but certain.
You remembered the awful ache in your chest when you answered:
âNever.â
At that time, it felt romantic.
Now it felt like a threat made against yourself.
In the church, you stared at him quietly.
âI stayed because I got used to surviving you.â
The words slapped him across the face.
Jeonghanâs face hardened instinctively, his defensive walls rising up again.
âThere you go,â he muttered bitterly. âMaking me sound monstrous.â
Your heart cracked a little more because even now, when you finally confronted with your pain laid bare before him, a part of him still reached for self-preservation first.
Not understanding.
Not accountability.
Defense.
You wiped at your tears with a trembling hand. âIâm not saying youâre a monster.â
âArenât you?â
âNo,â you protested. âI think youâre someone who was never taught that love isnât supposed to hurt this much.â
Silence.
A tense and terrible silence.
Jeonghan looked away first.
That alone felt shocking.
His gaze drifted toward the guests, toward the flowers, toward the aisle you had walked down like a condemned woman.
Then, finally, back to you.
And suddenly he looked exhausted beyond words.
Like a man realizing too late that the person who carried his darkness for years was finally putting it down.
Another flashback came softly this time.
Not a cruel one.
Neither a manipulative one.
Just sad.
Jeonghan was asleep beside you after a nightmare, his fingers unconsciously clutching the sleeve of your shirt even in sleep.
You remembered watching him carefully in the dim blue morning light.
All sharp edges were gone.
All cruelty was absent.
Just a tired boy terrified of being abandoned.
And maybe that was why you stayed so long.
Because every time he hurt you, you caught glimpses of someone wounded underneath it all.
Someone who loved you in broken ways.
Someone you thought you could save if you just endured enough.
But people are not healed by becoming the center of someone elseâs suffering.
And you had suffered enough.
The officiant quietly stepped away from the altar now, understanding this ceremony no longer belonged to a tradition.
It belonged to grief.
Jeonghan spoke again with carefully chosen words.
"What happens if you leave?â
The question sounded frighteningly genuine.
Like he truly couldnât imagine a world where you werenât there.
Your throat enclosed on itself.
You looked at him for a very long time before answering.
âYou learn to live without hurting someone who loved you.â
His face crumpled almost imperceptibly.
It was a tiny expression, but a devastating one.
For the first time, Jeonghan looked less evil and more like someone standing knee-deep in the consequences of his own emptiness.
You took a faint step back.
Creating distance.
You needed this distance.
His voice halted you again.
âIf I asked you to stay,â he whispered, âwould you?â
The question almost ripped you apart.
Because the answerâthe honest answerâwas yes.
You knew a part of you still would.
A part of you would crawl back to him instantly if he reached for you the right way.
And maybe he knew that too.
Which was exactly why you couldnât stay.
Fresh tears slipped down your cheeks as you smiled sadly.
âThatâs why I have to leave before you do.â
Jeonghan went completely still.
The words settled between you like ash after a fire.
Before you do.
Before he changed his mind.
Before he softened his voice and touched your face and made you believe survival was love again.
Before you loved him enough to disperse your soul.
Jeonghan's face didn't crease with rage, nor irritationâjust genuine fear.
His eyes searched your face desperately, as though trying to find the version of you that always stayed.
The version he knew how to keep.
But she was already gone.
Buried somewhere beneath sleepless nights, swallowed apologies, and all the pieces of yourself you sacrificed to love him.
The sunset outside had almost dipped below the horizon now.
Only traces of crimson remained through the stained glass windows, bathing the church in fading red light.
The end of something.
Jeonghan stepped toward you again instinctively.
You stepped back.
That hurt him more than anything else had.
You saw it immediately because distance was new between you.
You had forgiven screaming silences.
Coldness.
Neglect.
Cruel words whispered gently enough to confuse for affection.
But this?
This refusal to reach back for him?
That was unfamiliar territory.
And unfamiliar things frightened Jeonghan.
His voice came quieter nowâfragile enough to crack.
"I donât know how to do this.â
Your chest curled agonizingly.
Of course he didnât.
He knew how to keep people.
How to make them stay.
How to pull love from someone until they bled devotion willingly into his hands.
But he didnât know how to lose someone gracefully.
You nodded slowly, tears slipping silently down your cheeks.
âI know.â
A long silence followed.
The guests had mostly slipped away by now, leaving only empty pews and dying candlelight behind. White flowers drooped along the aisle like mourners lowering their heads.
The church finally looked honest.
Less like a wedding.
More like a funeral for their love.
Jeonghan stared at you as though memorizing your face.
And maybe he was.
Because somewhere deep down, both of you understood this was the last moment your love would ever look like this again.
Untouched by time.
Still breathing.
Still standing before the moment of death.
Another memory crawled up in that moment.
Jeonghan pulled you into his lap late one night, forehead resting against yours while exhaustion softened all his sharp edges.
âYou love me too much,â he whispered quietly.
You smiled sadly back then and answered:
âI know.â
You understood now that it had never been romantic.
It had been a warning from someone who knew he would eventually ruin you.
The Jeonghan in church now inhaled shakily, eyes glistening despite how hard he tried to hide it.
âYou said you still love me.â
The vulnerability in his voice nearly shattered your resolve.
But love was no longer enough reason to stay somewhere you were dying.
So you nodded once.
âI probably always will.â
His face broke not in a loud, dramatic wayâjust a tiny fracture in the beautiful mask he wore so carefully for the world.
And somehow that was worse.
You took one irrevocable step backward toward the open church doors.
Cold evening air drifted inside.
Freedom smelled strangely lonely.
Jeonghan looked at you as if he wanted to say a thousand things.
Sorry.
Stay.
Donât leave me here alone.
But in the end, the tragedy of your relationship remained the same: he felt everything deeply and expressed almost none of it correctly.
So instead, all he asked was:
âWhat do I do now?â
Your tears rolled down heavier because despite everythingâdespite all the painâyou still wanted to comfort him.
That was how thoroughly you had loved him, but some acts of love become self-destruction if repeated long enough.
So this time, you chose yourself.
For the first time.
You looked at the man you once would have destroyed yourself to keep.
Then you whispered softly:
âLearn what mercy looks like before you ask for love again.â
Jeonghanâs breath caught.
And for the first time since meeting himâyou did not stay long enough to soothe the wound you left behind.
You turned away.
The veil slipped from your hair, falling soundlessly onto the church floor behind you.
Like a surrender.
As a mourning cloth.
Like the ghost of a bride who almost buried herself alive for love.
It wasn't loud nor pleasant like his faceâjust one broken inhale he couldnât swallow fast enough.
And somehow that sound hurt more than all his cruelty ever had, but you kept walking.
Because if you turned around now, he would reach for you.
And if he reachedâyou might still go back.
Outside, the night had swallowed the sunset whole.
Darkness had fallen, cloaking the sky in shadow.
The air was frosty against your skin, but for the first time in years, breathing didnât hurt.
Behind you stood a church full of flowers, candles, and the ruins of a love that consumed more than it cherished.
Ahead of you was grief.
Loneliness.
Healing.
A future terrifyingly empty of him.
But it was yours.
And as the church doors slowly closed behind you, sealing away the sound of Jeonghanâs grief forever, one final thought echoed through your chest like the last line of a prayer:
âIf you ever loved me⊠let me go.â
                              â