😎😎😎😎😎

I’m just trying to live my life out here but it’s hella hard man ~16~space lover~epee~

[carnival-phantasm]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Little girls who’re into magic and vampires and spooky stuff left alone to their own devices for 1 hour:

[eggzbian-deactivated20191126]

when u don't feel anything but u also actively feel like this image

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

click to see a spooky ghost

[thyrell]

mini i would honest to god die for you

[sporeblossom]

“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone 

[berniesanderssaggyleftnut-deact]

[lystheni]

A friend of mine saw this and brought up some interesting arguments

so, in other words,

[professor-maple-mod]

Pretty much.

[jaegerdelta]

here have some size comparison

[two-punch-man]

Who wins in a fight, a fully staffed Navy research vessel or your local weed man and his best friend in their souped up VW Bus?

[advanced-procrastination]

If I was ever slated to meet Donald Trump, I’d stuff my pockets with those little hand sanitizer bottles. Every time he’d shake my hand, I’d immediately take one out and squirt the whole bottle. Make a whole spectacle of it, sanitizing my entire right arm. But only after shaking his hand; I’d also be sure to shake the hands of as many other people as possible, but never even think about hand sanitizer until SCROTUS is reaching towards me. Hell, maybe as we’re going in for the shake I’d already have my left hand in my pocket, very dramatically digging for a hand sanitizer so I could be cleaned the moment our hands part. Can you imagine the fucking headlines? The drama? I’d be the target of Turnip’s angry tweets for months. His lapdogs nazis voters would be outraged, screaming obsenities for DARING to attempt voodoo on their god bc they don’t understand cleanliness or germ theory. It would be awesome. I’d be an international hero for washing my hands.

[advanced-procrastination]

I woke up from a dream last night, posted this, then immediately fell back asleep. I’m glad to see it was coherent and well-received. :)

[the-blog-with-the-gerard-pic]

absolutly amazing

[chongoblog]

I can’t believe that the two greatest party songs of all time (I Gotta Feeling and Party Rock Anthem) came out within two years of each other and mankind will never create a better party song

[chongoblog]

Some people have been defending various other party songs in the notes, and while I respect all of your opinions, the only song that can qualify as a POTENTIAL exception is Tik Tok by Ke$ha

[maniknightranger]

What about Allstar, great for every occasion

[chongoblog]

All Star is, in my opinion, the Greatest Song of All Time™ and while it great for every occasion, the three above are the best suited for parties. Like rich chocolate is good for every dessert, but milk goes better with Oreos than more chocolate, ya know?

[maniknightranger]

I was not ready for such an educated response but completely agree

[chongoblog]

I come prepared for this discourse

[inksplit]

[kaprika]

Remember

[starshein]

Listen up. There is literally an app that can help you avoid self harm and I don’t know why we aren’t talking about it.

Calm Harm can be tailored to your needs and will provide strategies to help you get past those crucial moments of wanting to harm.

It’s also totally FREE.

once again, it’s called CALM HARM

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

SIGNAL FUCKING BOOST

[saranghwa-deactivated20190606]

WHY WOULD YOU NOT REBLOG. IDGAF ABOUT YOUR BLOG THEME

[winwincity-deactivated20200412]

For anyone that needs this!

[cctinsleybaxter]

A really harrowed-looking man who was probably in his 60s came into the shop today. He was wearing a gold-colored tie that kept sliding down the side of his neck because it was tied very poorly, and a rumpled light blue dress shirt. I did not see his legs or shoes. Part-time cashiers are sometimes just not afforded the luxury.

We said hello to each other as I scanned his items (diet coke and a nature valley granola bar- $2.69), me sounding more interested than usual just because he sounded so out-of breath and very engaged in his purchase. Also maybe because I could not see his shoes.

“How’s your life going?” He suddenly asked, swiping his card, not casually but almost pleadingly curious.

“Uhm, all right I s’pose” I said, too startled to think of a more cheery lie. 

He nodded somberly. “Me too… I guess.” He paused and looked at me for a minute and then just said “it’s a Monday, ya know.”

“Mondays are like this sometimes” I supplied, feeling like we were having a really weird conversation hidden under the one that was actually taking place.

And then he left. I forgot to look at his shoes.

[cctinsleybaxter]

PART II 

Honestly I had no idea that I would ever have the privilege of writing a sequel to this post. I considered it an odd moment, an interaction that changed me in a way, but a fleeting one. I automatically assumed our paths would never cross again, there was such a finality to that window of time on Monday August 22nd of 2016. And yet.

He returned.

I didn’t truly notice him come in, glancing up from whatever menial and already forgotten task I was busy with, but not registering who it was or why he seemed to put out an aura of familiarity. It had been weeks and I haven’t even caught a glimpse of him; the memory of Monday August 22nd of 2016 had faded like a dream. But lo he appeared before me, dressed in exactly the same fashion that made him look like he had just crawled out of carwash (albeit with a pink shirt and purple tie this go-around.)

His face lit up when he saw me, again holding a diet coke and a nature valley granola bar. ‘How is your day going?’ He asked earnestly.

‘Pretty well.’ I said, professionally containing myself, “how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good” he said, sounding more cheerful than before but just as harried. When I handed him back his change and items and he looked like he was going to cry. 

“Thank you” he whispered with a look of reverence I have only seen on the faces of ancient church members receiving the eucharist.

“It’s no trouble,” I promised, trying not to look perplexed.

He bowed (LITERALLY BOWED) and then made a hurried exit stage left, reminiscent of Lear just before the second act, halfway into madness.

A Lear I had again forgotten to note the footwear of.

[cctinsleybaxter]

PART. 3. 

Okay I’m not even bothering with the pretentious Hemingway style for this one; I’m still reeling over the fact that he came back after four months AND on a Friday instead of a Monday no less.

Notes:

He was wearing literally the exact same shirt and tie he had on from part one, only with an orange sweater and fancy jacket over the ensemble to indicate that it was winter

He bought Lay’s sour cream and onion potato chips this time instead of his standard granola bar, but the diet coke was as usual

He told me that he always felt guilty for buying snack food but ‘you have to do what you have to do’

He then smiled sadly at me and said ‘enjoy your weekend… If you can.’

I sat in stunned, unblinking silence for about six minutes until a customer came up and looked me over worriedly

Who is this man

WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING TO LOOK AT HIS SHOES

[cctinsleybaxter]

Part Four

First thing’s first,

Probably about two years of wear on them but otherwise well cared for. Socks were white, which I was only able to notice because this human being has zero clothes that fit and his pant cuffs were hovering about 3 inches away from his shoes. I keep thinking his outfits can’t possibly get any better, but this one takes the cake:

Crumpled white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, gigantic scarf that looked as though it were made out of mouldy carpet, neon orange striped tie, and a matching neon orange plastic digital watch that probably came out of a box of honeycombs back in 1988.

He did not grace me with his odd conversational charm today, but I received something better. A clue. 

Today he was buying a red notebook and three ballpoint pens instead of snacks (which was questionable but this is a Thursday we’re talking about; the day that falls on the chaotic spectrum and which I am known for my overzealous distrust of), and when he pulled out his luxury black Mastercard to pay for his items he said eight words which shook me to my very core.

“I do get a staff discount on these.”

This has never come up before because discount plans don’t apply to food items. I have no need to ask the identity of a man buying a granola bar and a diet coke. But now.

I didn’t speak as I handed him his receipt, just nodded courteously. Only staff members know about the specific discount so I had no real need to ask for an ID for proof, and I was cursing my mistake in not asking for it anyway. 

I must find this man. I have been here for three years and yet have only seen him within the confines of the store at odd intervals. I’ve never even seen him step into the store, or leave (another customer is somehow always in line behind him and demanding my attention.) I spent half an hour going through the college’s entire staff directory this afternoon… and may have found something. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, I am not yet certain and will have to gather a few more items of information, but for the first time I can promise a part to follow. Perhaps, an ending.

[cctinsleybaxter]

Cinq

Not an ending of any sort, but a very brief update from the field. My work schedule has changed since January and I was honestly beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t see the man again until the fall, as it’s been more than two months now. He startled me quite a bit when he literally blew in as if by a gust of wind right as my shift was ending. 

He was in quite a hurry and only bought a diet coke ($1.50) before blustering(?) off, giving me no chance to run an investigation or perception check, but if fashion checks were a thing…

Please imagine, if you will, a man wearing a yellow polka-dot tie that was not even tied, an orange scarf, the watch mentioned in my previous entry, khakis, a bright periwinkle shirt… and an impeccably matching woolen periwinkle cape. He was also carrying a very large black satchel with tartan lining, every single pocket of which was unzipped.

He looked like a hedge wizard.

I want answers.

[cctinsleybaxter]

6.

I found him.

Masters in theology from Harvard 

Distinguished professor of philosophy

God-tier identification photo; I cannot believe that I have not been hallucinating this man for the past 12 months and 41 days.

[antique-scarecrow]

hedge wizard

[readableporn]

Indubitably.

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

in case you needed to hear this today:

🌷 it will get better, even though it feels like u will feel this way forever.

🌼 there are people who found you beautiful or radiant and you never knew it.

🌻 you have survived all your worst days.

💛 bad days are always temporary.

🌹you’re not behind. trust the timing of your life.

🌱 you are growing through this.

🌻 right now, you’re exactly where you are meant to be.

⛅️ every day is a new chance to start again.

🌸 it’s never too late to change, it’s not a race.

🌼 take things one day at a time. you will get there.

[catchymemes]

“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

[chinchela-art-deactivated202208]

This is so pure

[corsolanite]

🤔🔍⚡

[mounak-s-deactivated20170517]

life is so subtle sometimes that you barely notice yourself walking through the doors you once prayed would open.

[thinkpiecebot]

Stop Making Terrible Arguments For Mars Colonization

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every day i grow less convinced OP is a bot

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Bot or not, I would elect them.

[programmerhumour]

Relatable

[association-of-free-people]

🤔

[elpatron56]

[tuckersnatch]

some of you have never fought your therapist after telling her you’re being controlled by someone on Netflix, an online entertainment service from the 21st century and it shows