For the sake of your mental health, stop downplaying your growth. Your younger self is so proud of how far you've come.
hello vonnie

titsay

if i look back, i am lost
occasionally subtle
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Kiana Khansmith
DEAR READER

Kaledo Art

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Jules of Nature
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

JBB: An Artblog!
One Nice Bug Per Day

tannertan36

⁂
trying on a metaphor
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@itsklsr
For the sake of your mental health, stop downplaying your growth. Your younger self is so proud of how far you've come.
What I want for Pride Month
When a black person states that something you did was racist, chill the fuck out. Its annoying dealing with you panicking trying to dissociate yourself from racism. If you're not black, black people already assume youve said nigga or its variant at least once in your life. If they're interacting with you and bringing something up, its because they want you to stop doing that so they can still interact with you(if ur already friends)
You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.
Be the kind of person black people don't have to gamble on. Shut up and lock in
“Kids shouldn’t have to know about that.”
Okay so actually letting a serious topic be vague and confusing is much more scary for a child than explaining it in calm language they can understand.
When you are in a safe place, explain the serious topic in a way the child can understand.
The fire alarm went off at school today because of a mistake, but your teachers did the right thing to take you outside to be sure it was safe.
Some people use wheelchairs because their legs don’t walk very well. It can happen because they are old and tired, or because they got hurt, or because they were born that way.
Your Uncle Jerod talked to mom and dad, and wants you to call her Aunt Kari now. We will call her Kari too, and we can all practice together if it takes some getting used to.
Anticipate age-appropriate fears the child might have so you can assuage those that are not a threat.
Yes, Kitty died at the vet, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not safe for Puppy to go to the vet.
Yes, Peyton and Jo are getting a divorce, but they are both still part of our family and love you very much.
Yes, Grandma has cancer, but cancer is not contagious, so you are not going to get cancer by visiting her.
Anticipate fears that are realistic, and give the child clear direction about what to do, and what happens next.
If someone asks you to get in their car without permission, find Mom, Mama, or a teacher and tell them right away. We will make sure you are safe.
If Sparky’s sickness makes him hurt very badly, we are going to take him to the vet and she will give him some medicine, and he will die, but then he won’t hurt any more. Because Sparky is very sick, we are going to spend some special time with him over the next few days.
If the fire alarm goes off at school again, follow the teacher’s directions. If the fire alarm goes off and you are somewhere alone, go outside, and ask a grownup to call 911.
Reassure the child that they’re safe and loved, validate their feelings, and see if they have follow-up questions. Give them the option to take space to process, or to stay near you to feel safe.
I’m sad about Sparky too. Do you think we could make his favorite peanut-butter treats, while we are spending special time with him?
I understand why Grandma’s cancer makes you feel angry. It doesn’t seem fair that people we love get sick. Would you like a hug?
You were worried about calling 911 if there’s not a grownup around. I wrote down some important things, like our address, and we can go over these together so you are ready if anything like that ever happens.
These things are principally the job of the child’s parent or guardian, but in some cases directing the child to that caregiver is difficult or impossible (parent refuses/confuses the child, parent is absent, child’s questions are specific and relevant to a situation their parent was not present for, etc.) so I think all adults should be prepared to have these conversations with kids.
Jaw on the floor
holy shit
https://www.gao.gov/blog/2018/11/06/you-have-a-right-to-your-medical-records
have it noted in your chart in advance and plainly state to the doctor that you do not consent to the husband stitch and you do not want it and will take legal action if you wake up with it. also while we’re talking about non consensual medical procedures, when you are going in for any medical procedure and know you’ll be under anesthesia or unconscious, have it noted in your chart and plainly state before they give you anything that you do not want and do not consent to your body being used to teach and or train students, you do not consent to any rectal/prostate/pelvic/breast exams for the purposes of teaching and training, and that you want a copy of every medical procedure done to your body during this entire visit/stay. in the usa accessing your medical records are your right. they can legally charge you for them, (labor costs basically) however they can never deny you them. have someone you trust there for them to consult if needed and talk to them about all this before hand. these exams without your consent are sexual assault and you can take legal action.
OP spongecake_cats on TikTok ♡
if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t
someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter
most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t
homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right
This post is the distilled essence of everything I believe in.
sometimes i think too hard about the aids epidemic and i start to cry. the american queer community went through a genocide and we as the new generation of the community do not acknowledge that i think purely because it is something so terrifingly massive and so underdiscussed by a government so fucking fascist as to actively suppress the political action of a dying culture and thus leaving it up to people increasingly removed from living memory to try to put together an image of a time with a complex sociopolitical history that was wiped off the face of the fucking earth.
we are left with the ghosts of an actual body politic so horrifically suppressed by the government currently raising the next generation of the queer community that we aren't even given the space to acknowledge how horrific it really had to have been to be alive at the time.
stories of trying to assemble a record of the dead from obituaries of "lifelong bachelors" dying after "a long illness," their families refusing to acknowledge that their child had died of AIDS and the bleakness of living in a world where your lover, your best friend, your brother, could die and the life they had lived would be completely erased.
the dire, dire reality of the development of a custom of legally adopting your significant other so that when you died, your family couldn't take everything you had built with the love of your life out from under them.
of being unable to trust the government to tell you the truth about a disease that has killed your friends because none of those deaths been reported correctly, that your friend didn't know he had it until it was too late despite the ability to test for it, and not being able to fully cope with the devastating loss of someone you cared so dearly about because you're currently having to fight for the legal right to accurately know how that disease spreads.
and only getting it when it starts to affect straight people and can no longer be ignored.
anyways. reading gerard donelan's comics and having the anthropological interest to understand the jokes feels like learning to speak a dead language.
the alleged first known death from AIDS in the united states to raise interest was a 16 year old black teenager named robert lee rayford.
he was born in st louis missouri. he lived in a black working class neighborhood raised by a single mother. other than that, we know nothing about his personal life.
all we know is that he was very, very sick.
he first admitted himself to the hospital in 1968 when he was 15.
he was thin, pale, and could barely breathe. but that wasn't what he had come to the hospital for. that had been going on since 1966.
he had come to the hospital because his genitals were swollen and covered in lesions and warts. it had gotten so bad that it had spread to his legs.
at first, the medical team figured he simply had untreated lymphedema. testing actually revealed he had such a severe chlamydia infection that it had spread throughout his entire body.
when asked if he was sexually active, he first blustered that of course he was, he was the stud of all time.
then, thinking better of it, stated that he had only had sex once, with a girl he knew. he said he might have gotten it from her.
he was sullen and withdrawn. didn't talk much. except for one thing. he vehemently refused any further testing that would have involved a rectal examination.
his medical team presumed that this 15 year old boy refused the rectal examination because he was a sex worker who recieved.
aggressive treatment stabilized him by 1968.
in march 1969, he was back in the hospital.
he had pneumonia. he had an incredible fever. he was gasping for each breath. his white blood cell count had plummeted.
he died two months later.
his autopsy revealed that he had Kaposi's sarcoma, an incredibly rare type of immune system suppressing cancer that had only previously been reported in immunocompromised elderly men with herpes, and even then it only primarily affected their legs. it should have been impossible for a black teen from america to have it all over his internal organs.
this medical anomaly would first be reported on in 1973.
in 1982, when the disease had started to appear in otherwise healthy cis white straight men (and/or their wives), the CDC realized that GRID, gay-related immune deficiency, and 4H disease (homosexuals, heroin addicts, hemophiliacs, and Haitians) were misnomers that left people vulnerable. they would begin calling the disease AIDS.
in 1983, HIV, the disease that causes AIDS, was discovered in France. it was the discovery that broke ground on preventing the spread of HIV, definitvely identifying it, and reversing the death sentence of developing AIDS.
in 1984, when the first rudimentary AIDs test was being developed and before the epidemic would reach its reported height, one of the doctors who had treated robert thawed a sample of his tissue for testing.
it came back negative.
the ELISA antigen/antibody test would be approved by the food and drug administration in 1985.
in 1987, after the western blot antibody test had been developed robert's tissue samples were tested again.
the western blot works by identifying the residual proteins left behind by the creation process of antibodies.
robert's tissues had of the had nine out of the nine known residual proteins left behind by antibodies created to fight HIV. there was just one problem:
the dna of the virus robert had back in 1969, once isolated, was similar, but not exact, to the isolates that had first been discovered in 1983.
thus, there was never any confirmation given that robert was the first death from aids reported in the united states.
in 2005, all remaining samples of robert's tissues were destroyed by hurricane katrina.
as early as 1966, if this country had given enough of a fuck about black people, we could have identified HIV.
if this country had given enough of a fuck about queer people, we could have preserved an entire culture.
the aids epidemic was a fucking genocide.
A poetry comic from my book Thinking About Thinking: Impossible Thoughts and Complicated Feelings
ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds
I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study
after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines
et voila
and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)
and now, the birds
Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus
Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius
hoo boy, ok *out of breath*
GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!
this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render
speaking of obnoxious coverts:
bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata
the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it
Madam....
birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female
pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr
*melts into goo*
BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus
genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??
nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)
in other news, I am losing my mind hairline
SHE'S DONE!!
Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis
my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on
this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏
*does a little jig*
BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos
the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise
ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!
Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹
aaaand another one bites the duck,
we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos
the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you
power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,
the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis
and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.
Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp
thanks for the reminder, kid
at long last, we've reached the end...
Bird number 14 out of 14,
The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius
thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.
i'll see y'all soon :')
how do you pronounce the honourific "Ms." in english
"miss"
"miz"
other
unsure/see results
really good "shocking number of people are confidently objectively demonstrably completely wrong" poll
i am losing my fucking mind
#we dont use honorifics in my first language so whenever i have to select options (usually for flights) im always so confused#like what is actually the difference between miss and ms#i like miss bc it sounds more historical and im a historian so
"Miss" means an unmarried woman. "Mrs." means a married woman. (both of these have origins in the word "mistress" as in "mistress of the house".)
"Ms." - prounounced MIZ, btw - is a third option popularized by gloria steinem in the 70s - mainly through her feminist magazine Ms. - which is meant to be a neutral term, usable for any and all women regardless of marital status (hence the soul destroying irony of the tags above). it gained wider general acceptance when geraldine ferraro, the first woman to be nominated as VP on a national major party ticket, started using it widely to avoid confusion, since she was married but used her maiden name professionally. eventually over the years it came into common use though i do think the brits are a little more critical of it than americans (as far as i'm aware lol)
"obscure facts only a tumblr user would know" and it's one of the most influential institutions of second wave american feminism. PLEASE open the schools
Hi. I'm an unmarried woman in her forties. I use Ms. and pronounce it "miz", though I don't correct people who accidentally use a soft S. I use Ms. because it's no one's business but my own whether I'm married, to a man or anyone else, and that's what Ms. means. It means fuck off, my marital status is irrelevant, just as it is for every man who uses Mr.
I've had people (usually children) ask me at work if I'm a missus or a miss. I have replied that I am a miz, full stop. And when they pressed for which one I was REALLY, I have replied, "Why? Are you going to treat me differently depending on whether there's a ring somewhere?"
That's what Ms. is for. That is its linguistic function. It says, "This is an adult woman," and nothing else. Nothing else is necessary, and in my case, nothing else is desired.
I also use miz for other women unless and until they express a preference for something else because I don't magically know everyone else's marital status when I meet them. That's a courtesy—I'm declining to assume marital status and allowing them to decide whether they wish to declare it.
Also, I've taught English and worked as an editor for twenty years. I am quite literally the grammar police. This use of Ms. is a standard construction. If you didn't learn it in school, someone failed you.
I’m in the UK and used “Ms” from pretty much when I turned 18 or 19 (early 90s), in precisely that “my marital status is not relevant” mode. From 2005, I could answer the question, “And is that Miss? Mrs?” with “Dr”, which solves the problem entirely.
I did once go through US customs and the person checking my passport looked at it, then at me (scruffy), then said in disbelief, “YOU’RE a DOCTOR?”
I raised up to my full five feet in height, peered over the rims of my spectacles, and said in my haughtiest British accent, “Of SOCIOLOGY.”
YES
Life in an Autism World
Uh oh