P.A.G.E.N Sanctum

(P)oetry. (A)rtwork. (G)othic. (E)rotic. (N)on-explicit BDSM.

[akuman0mi]

[griffonatrix]

i’ve seen like six different mentally ill women reblog this today

[loth-catgirl]

well i’ve seen like seven mentally ill women reblog this today

[cipheramnesia]

over 20,000 mentally ill women, great job everyone

[deliriumcrow]

Good job, y'all.

[evanthenerd83]

2020 Story Index

Flash Fiction:

A Bad Influence (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190808526281/a-bad-influence-come-on-whined-dannys-best): A boy’s best friend is dangerous.

All It Took Was A Glimpse (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/617562611732627456/all-it-took-was-a-glimpse): A strange encounter.

A Necessary Evil (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/628977831213416448/a-necessary-evil): A little girl does what she has to.

An Exorcism (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/615297775443279872/an-exorcism-mom-and-dad-thought-that-shed-been): It was the only way.

Apologies Mean Nothing (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190825620191/apologies-mean-nothing-nobody-really-truly): Heartbreak can wear us down.

A Prank (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625444547755966464/a-prank-on-the-last-day-of-summer-b-and-his): Summer ends with a scream.

Awkward (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624179964746596352/awkward-you-are-such-beauty-whispered-terran): An unfulfilling relationship.

A Question (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190684053161/a-question-do-you-believe-in-ghosts-i-sat-up): Someone has to be reassured.

Bad Roommate (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624359385673744384/bad-roommate-as-soon-as-i-had-stepped-out-of-the): Don’t you just hate it?

Balloon Lies (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190386177636/balloon-lies): We don’t deserve happiness.

Be More Careful (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/621105884175728640/be-more-careful-research-journal-entry): The perfect defense mechanism.

Bottomless (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626259920343465984/bottomless-as-soon-as-jack-hit-the-water-the): A boy sinks.

Close Encounters (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/628616642000207872/close-encounters): A very strange thing happened.

Colonialism Is Universal (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/630517978338918400/colonialism-is-universal): Nothing is innocent.

Conclusion (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190878079851/conclusion-the-world-ended-with-a-single): I cast a spell.

Creationism (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616203657574334464/creationism): Becoming God is never easy.

Creepy Crawlies (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190423650111/creepy-crawlies): They emerged that day.

Cycles Of Tasteless Violence (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/622273653698068480/cycles-of-tasteless-violence-so-whispered-the): A man taste tests.

Domain (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624900967546191872/domain-when-the-lights-flickered-i-was-sitting): The blackout is the least of your worries.

Dread World (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/617472015251718144/dread-world): It is coming.

Drowned Here (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/620642908764307456/drowned-here): It’s pretty lonely down here.

Earth’s Tongue (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190645658001/earths-tongue): Something weird.

Eliza’s Story (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/614844705203732480/elizas-story): One kid’s horror is another kid’s adventure.

Empty Spaces (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/623904398936096768/empty-spaces-they-gathered-in-all-manner-of): They have to be filled. One way or another.

Eye In The Sky (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616022463352061952/eye-in-the-sky-in-2009-an-unidentified-anomaly): An unexplainable event.

Fallen (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190627092271/fallen): An interview with an eyewitness.

Fresh Meat (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616566054635913216/fresh-meat-fedship-arm13-fell-and-crashed): An astronaut crash lands on a cruel world.

Ghost of Earth’s Future (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190791368251/ghost-of-earths-future-the-first-time-gerald): On the moon.

Gotta Share This (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625806935702339584/gotta-share-this-it-started-with-a-single-word): Information is dangerous.

Hanger (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190755834876/hanger-it-always-starts-with-a-body-being-found): A cycle of suffering after death.

He (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/612126793609134080/he): A weak husband.

Hunting Trip (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/620461716070907904/hunting-trip): Goes both ways.

Icarus Got Burned (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/618468581807636480/icarus-got-burned): NASA makes a horrifying discovery.

Inappropriate Patient (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/628796710917980161/inappropriate-patient): A doctor is embarrassed.

Interference (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/617924999352860672/interference): Don’t look at the screen.

In The Garden Of False Hope (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190516546596/in-the-garden-of-false-hope): A girl almost makes a mistake.

In Utero (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190552830921/in-utero): Self-awareness is a curse.

Invaders (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/627347565376110592/invaders-it-was-an-invasion-theyd-been): It was a secret.

It Doesn’t Have Antlers (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/630880457453633536/it-doesnt-have-antlers): Hunger that is never satisfied.

It Spreads (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/623632608438501376/it-spreads): A new type of curse.

Julia’s Bully (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626078726260752384/julias-bully-julia-was-smart-she-was-smarter): Jealousy in the classroom.

Kidnapping Kelsey (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/622454848251691008/kidnapping-kelsey-kidnapping-the-head): Some boys are just stupid.

Landing Site (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625626528187875328/landing-site-on-november-11th-2020-an): Something happened.

Last Minute Questions For A Stranger (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616294254336212992/last-minute-questions-for-a-stranger): The root of all suffering.

Looks (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626169323439947776/looks-when-molly-saw-the-doll-she-only-had-one): A girl and a doll that isn’t hers.

Mind The Gap (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/623090356085555200/mind-the-gap-mind-the-gap-theyd-warn-wait): Follow the rules.

Mini Misery (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/191002237591/mini-misery-do-you-have-something-karen-looked): A mother’s at the end of her rope.

Moonlit Stroll (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190931531501/moonlit-stroll): A romantic moment.

Murderous Intent (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625172787824410624/murderous-intent-the-wave-came-out-of-nowhere): Nature hates us.

Never Ending (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/622998609763434496/never-ending-he-reads-and-reads-eyes-scanning): A reader’s worst nightmare.

Not Alone (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/621277087498731520/not-alone-i-work-at-the-andromeda-station-a): In the abyss.

Not So Ice Neighbors (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/618106248726003712/not-so-ice-neighbors): A wife gets into a fight.

On Pause (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/622545444753588224/on-pause-i-suffer-from-blackouts-im-not): A man’s life is scheduled.

One-Way Gateway (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190497659616/one-way-gateway): It just appeared.

Opposing Forces (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190142691781/opposing-forces): We were reclaimed.

Our Guts Out (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/631152156978872320/our-guts-out): A break out.

Preacher Of Deepest Night (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/618831188312883200/preacher-of-deepest-night-as-i-lay-in-my-bed): Something is coming.

Predator (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190237118016/predator): A horror hasn’t been vanquished.

Preoccupied (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190291901916/preoccupied): Two cryptozoologists have an argument.

Restroom Inspection (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616747238956351488/restroom-inspection): An employee really hates his job.

Shadow People (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/611224598931996672/shadow-people-want-to-know-the-truth-about): You don’t want to see them.

Sinner’s Fire (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/629521802609197056/sinners-fire): A ritual.

Social Distancing (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/612942237069869056/social-distancing-they-told-us-to-stay-inside): It worked.

Something Exciting (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/617290846142857216/something-exciting): There’s nothing worse than the boredom.

Something Wonderful And Terrible (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626712958767120384/something-wonderful-and-terrible-we-dont-know): A threshold will be crossed.

Son (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/628888020536410112/son): Some things just want what we have.

Spin The Bottle (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/619744488936587266/spin-the-bottle): It’s all up to chance.

Spores (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/622364250822852608/spores-it-started-with-a-hiker-just-a-poor-fool): It all started with this.

Stray Bullet (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616928433104109568/stray-bullet): We were just unlucky.

The Candy House (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/614664395162861568/the-candy-house-i-wandered-through-those-woods): Lost and found.

The Dark Doorway (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/623542543873916928/the-dark-doorway-anna-was-the-only-one-who-went): Crossing the threshold is a big mistake.

The Lonely Ones (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/630699171792420864/the-lonely-ones): A boy and a ghost.

The Long Shadow (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190161786261/the-long-shadow): A midnight visitor has arrived.

The Photo (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/623813807082438656/the-photo): A ghost story.

The Presence (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/611496389827067904/the-presence-sometimes-it-would-step-on-a): What you can’t see could hurt you.

There’s Always a Cleaner Nearby (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624991752882913280/theres-always-a-cleaner-nearby-nobody-heard): Monsters roam hotels.

The Storm (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/618559179091787776/the-storm-the-storm-came-swiftly-and-surely-a): The wrath of the dead.

The Swarm (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624810716918054913/the-swarm-it-came-from-beyond-the-horizon-from): It came out of nowhere.

The Thirteenth Floor (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625535144535736320/the-thirteenth-floor-r-ran-through-a-rainstorm): Don’t stop between floors.

The Triangle’s Expanding (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625082222806990848/the-triangles-expanding-they-were-trapped-in): The Bermuda Triangle, baby!

The Worst Part About A Giant Snake (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/628706050630205440/the-worst-part-about-a-giant-snake): A very strange apocalypse.

They Were Wrong About Global Warming (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/618740428226920448/they-were-wrong-about-global-warming): The end of the world.

Things Got Awkward In Gym (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/611134002471059456/things-got-awkward-in-gym-staying-in-shape-is): A student asks a question.

Threat Of Bodily Harm (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/613757539873636352/threat-of-bodily-harm-dot-dot-dot-thats-an): This story is bad for your heart.

Till Death Doesn’t Do Us Part (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/629340220538732544/till-death-doesnt-do-us-part): It never ends.

Uncertainty (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626441116094529536/uncertainty-nothing-is-working-not-the): Something bad has happened.

Virtual Reality (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/614301360294445056/virtual-reality-when-you-plug-in-its-like): Technology is dangerous.

Waterborne (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/625716392969273344/waterborne-it-happened-in-the-span-of-a-week): Don’t go into the water.

We’re In The Pits (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/620371117654327297/were-in-the-pits): A teenage girl’s diary is filled with secrets no one should know.

Weirdo (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190896210246/weirdo-im-watching-you-such-warmth-your): A stranger sits next to you.

What We Should Really Be Afraid Of (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/615931868146221056/what-we-should-really-be-afraid-of-when-i-was): Fear changes.

When Darkness Falls (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/627437680946544640/when-darkness-falls-weve-prepared-the-house): Stay inside.

Wrong Type Of Ammunition (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/626353245030383616/wrong-type-of-ammunition-silver-bullets-it): Better be correct.

You’ll Pick Up A Hitchhiker (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/617200266171842560/youll-pick-up-a-hitchhiker): Just some advice.

Poetry:

Eat (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/615478881178337280/eat): A little poem.

Gone Underground (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624270151280427008/gone-underground-gone-underground-to-the-great): A poem about the death of my cat.

Pumpkin Jack (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624451814657507328/pumpkin-jack-pumpkin-jack-came-in-our-dreams): A poem that I should have posted on Halloween.

Replacement (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/624548244180058112/replacement-there-was-once-a-little-girl-who-had): A little girl is disappointed.

The Tempest (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/616294405998100480/the-tempest): Like ants, we are inconsequential.

Under The Glaring Moon (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/190271107521/under-the-glaring-moon): Love is eternal.

Two-Sentence Horror Stories:

[evanthenerd83]

As With Dolls, So With People (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633964437451259904/as-with-dolls-so-with-people): A little girl plays, and reality follows.

A Quick Death (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/638131933756489729/a-quick-death): Chump. Chump.

Body (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635323474622185472/body): Some boys find a body.

Came Back Home (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633783322095583233/came-back-home): A mother’s hope.

Climbing Trees (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636500935137427456/climbing-trees): This won’t end well.

Cold Water (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633145296035217408/cold-water): A mother uses her daughter.

Decompression (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634326825538076672/decompression): Opening that door is a big mistake.

Even In Death (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636591749626839040/even-in-death): A son is tormented.

Even Spiders Can Tell (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633054692981817344/even-spiders-can-tell): A new personal favorite.

Exchange (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/638313091991486464/exchange): The reason for the season.

Fever (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634508019388071938/fever): It only gets hotter and hotter.

Forgotten (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635685793139212288/forgotten): My worst fear.

For Survival (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636319960172527616/for-survival): How does reindeer taste?

Gaze Upon (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635611484282650624/gaze-upon): No hope in hell.

Go Slow (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/632511111731740672/go-slow): Don’t turn around.

Going Up There (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633326485385756672/going-up-there): Easily tricked.

Hell (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635051617166688256/hell): A man thinks that he’s helping the damned.

Houses Are Full Of Them (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/632782901989228544/houses-are-full-of-them): Echo, echo, echo...

In Amber’s Bedroom (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634055034510901248/in-ambers-bedroom): A little girl is asked a question.

In The Midst Of Flames (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/637044875731320832/in-the-midst-of-flames): Secrets hide.

No Longer Innocent (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634417422272741376/no-longer-innocent): The end of the world begins with a party.

One’s Regret (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635143800127422464/ones-regret): It never ends.

Out Of Work, Out Of Life (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/638404157823401984/out-of-work-out-of-life): Unemployment is death.

Ravings Of A Sane Man (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/632601781131788288/ravings-of-a-sane-man): An asylum with a secret.

Santa Figure (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/638222494859427840/santa-figure): It knows when your asleep...

Seen (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633692646568787968/seen): It goes both ways.

Shared Misery (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/632420514508554240/shared-misery): A different kind of haunted house.

Stargazing (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636410555982364672/stargazing): Watch the skies.

Such A Beautiful Birth (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/637225982981537792/such-a-beautiful-birth): Life after death.

Terminal Lives (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634961353666445313/terminal-lives): Existence is a sickness.

That Strange Feeling, You Know The One (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634689212941271040/that-strange-feeling-you-know-the-one): A man wants relief.

The Fence (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636229361740251136/the-fence): Something weird is happening.

The Jumper (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/631242755465740289/the-jumper): It’ll never end.

The Patch (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/635232794987118592/the-patch): A little girl makes a horrifying discovery.

The Scariest Mask Of All (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/631333350639009792/the-scariest-mask-of-all): A woman’s worst fear.

The Scene (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/631514163975454720/the-scene): Something strange has happened.

The Shape (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/636863540250148864/the-shape): Something is in your room.

Things Change, People Don’t (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/634598616897634304/things-change-people-dont): A story I don’t agree with.

Unaware (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/631424502359883776/unaware): A question about the afterlife.

What You Can’t See (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/632692357578555392/what-you-cant-see): The living are so blind.

Why Call It “The Forgotten Room” (https://evanthenerd83.tumblr.com/post/633417080604082176/why-call-it-the-forgotten-room): A haunted room.

[avosoph]

self care sounds so basic but please don’t underestimate how difficult it is just to clean your teeth and wash your face when all you want to do is die

[borderlineflower-deactivated202]

!!!!!!!

[vetyr]

Re-opening commissions!

If you'd like to make a request, inquire about pricing, etc., reach out at [email protected].

Above illustration is for Follow Me Down, a Greek mythology-themed TTRPG :)

[itsoverdoseonly]

This is giving Angels Before Man by @nicosraf

[itsoverdoseonly]

miss you

Be brave and DM me

[tonyalmeida]

[serial222killer]

would u visit abandoned haunted houses with me or not, be honest

[adamsova-deactivated20230712]

lets go :3

[itsoverdoseonly]

Abso-fucking-lutely

[itsoverdoseonly]

How much more do I have to lose before the universe or whoever the fuck is up there decides its enough?

[itsoverdoseonly]

I feel displaced. Like I don't belong. I was trying to belong in this space but I fucked it up. I don't belong here.

[itsoverdoseonly]

I just want a simple life, you know? With just the things we need and a whole lot of love. Why is everything so fucking complicated.

[theocseason4]

Lets go bitches

[loveazepam]

Sgdgfhjsk I can't believe you left out the replies

[originaldumbbaby]

This picture stared at me in the women's bathroom

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

this picture demanded to know whether or not i plan to get The Surgery

[askcosplaysenpai]

This picture has a stroller for their dog

[ruby-white-rabbit]

This picture offered me essential oils and told me vaccines would poison my child.

[treetopblueberries]

this picture judged who i am based off of how many layers of clothing i’m wearing

[survivablyso]

this picture just called ICE on their neighbor, and then called their mom and talked about how good the pastor’s sermon on loving your neighbor was 

[thediscossessed]

this pictured asked to touch my hair

[spiroandthelacktones]

This picture just called the homeowners association on me

[journeymanfool]

Okay but this is the tweet I saw and I wouldn't normally go to bat for people I don't know, but they seem to actually be pretty genuine people who tend to stay in their own lanes, and are at the very least good sports about it.

[angelicdevil]

This is wholesome

[transclementines-moved]

[the-moon-whisperer]

[aterminatedghost]

okay wow bye

[itsoverdoseonly]

I feel personally attacked

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

Everyone should know the international sign for Help Me. Let’s make this famous!!

[magpie-69]

I've seen this video many times now and it's really hard hitting. It makes me tear up to think about those who are out there living in fear. And dying! Please pass this on. It's so damn important! 💜🙏

[ventraman]

I shall reblog, again and again! It's that important!

[itsallprimal]

Why sign language is my next to learn list.

[black-white-and-leather]

[1-800-444-tune]

Receive Good News This Week Spell

Positive Affirmation: “I will receive the good news is have been waiting for or I will get some type of good news this week”

🙄😇🔔🕯🕯🕎💡📰📃📤📭📅🗝🔮🏹🕯📺📟📞☎😇🌛🌞☄🌈🔥😚📌📰😎🌛

Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast Spell…

[parskis]

i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over

[cl4yton-deactivated20180207]

I actually had no idea women found this so scary

[periwinklepromise]

my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry

[thewonderfulthingaboutfish]

My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.

[diamondsamura1-deactivated20220]

this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women

[survivor-surviving]

Yes, it does

[pandora-ness]

As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.

[kaldraws8280]

My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…

[suicunesrider]

This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.

[shidoninoure]

I’m glad I’m not the only one

[anexperimentallife]

My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.

Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)

Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.

I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.

I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.

Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.

[elfwreck]

Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesn’t matter if you’re thinking, “but I would never…”

History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…

We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”

We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.

The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”

It’s telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, “why did she stay with him?” and not “why did he treat her like that?”

[plaggnoir]

This made me cry.

[galactic-gangstar-gibbon-deacti]

Don’t skip over this.

[thatclownana]

Every single time. And it doesn’t matter if the yelling is even directed at me, like a pervious person said, if I hear men yelling in adjacent apartments, at each other, at the TV, I’m immediately terrified. I hate it and I feel like I’m over reacting, but my dad punched my sister in the face when she was a teenager, he brutalized my mom for 5 years, and he’s a soft spoken dude, he only ever raised his voice in anger.

[dirtymindedbookworm-deactivated]

If you yell at me, there is a decent chance I’ll just burst into tears. The likelihood goes up if you are male. I hate that reaction, and I have ZERO control over it - courtesy of a shitty childhood.

[oneadored]

I hate how much I relate to this thread. It is true. Due to my past it is a learned behavior. When I exhausted or just relaxed, even a fast movement from someone I trust can make me raise my hands in defense. It’s not intentional. It is in fact irrational. But, so deep rooted that I cannot stop it.

[i-am-dubs]

This is REALLY heavy. Like, really really heavy. @thecomicbookj doesn’t get why I “jump in” when he raises his voice at the dog or our daughter. Even when he’s being completely reasonable and giving a disciplinary conversation, if his voice raises volume at all, I immediately go in the defense and feel I’ve got to “protect” them. And don’t even get me started in when he (or other men) raises his voice in my direction.

I really 100% thought I was just anxious and fragile and it was all in my own head. Come to find our all y’all are having this same experience. Jesus.

[babydollbelongstodaddy-deactiva]

Yep. Sometimes Super Daddy raises his voice when he gets worked up about something (excited, annoyed/pissed off at someone who isn’t me) and it makes me tense up and go silent. Sometimes I start crying.

[daddyandhislittleprincess11102]

Well damn. This hits pretty hard. I am a big man with a loud voice. I did not know this affected my girls like this. Especially since I have had anger issues when I was younger. I took anger management classes for over 5 years. I have never touched any of my girls in anger but I guess I can be a pretty scary guy when I am angry.

I have some more work to do to be a better man. I will start now.

@parskis Thank you so much for sharing this! I am going to be a better man as a direct result of you sharing this. Isn’t that how to change the world? One man at a time. You should be proud of this one. I hope you are in a good place in your life!

[sincardinality]

For @instructor144‘s raised voices anon, hat tip to @daddyandhislittleprincess11102 for helping track it down.

[delightfulsubg-deactivated20210]

I will always reblog this.

“… we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.” -@elfwreck

[instructor144]

Always a reblog. 

[softandsweetened]

if my daddy someday doesn’t get me a pretty necklace to wear all the time that’s got his name on it so everyone knows i’m his then what’s even the point

[itsoverdoseonly]

WHAT'S THE POINT