Next Up On Disney Chanel:

I slowly choke myself to death

[mostweakhamlets]

Funniest bitch of the year I love him

[byjove]

republicans using the phrase “career politician” in smear campaigns is so funny. sorry I want a politician that studied political science or law and actually understands how the government works instead of a fucking nepotism baby businessman or any rando with enough money to get on the ballot. I also want a “career doctor” to take care of my medical concerns. a “career lawyer” to represent me in court.

[snorlaxatives]

i think one of the best parts about being a teenager in the early to mid 2010s was that cigarettes were definitely not cool anymore and vapes hadn’t popularized yet so my lungs made it out of my peak impressionable years relatively unscathed

[capnsoapy]

fun fact if your breasts are somewhere between a 36C-36D then they weight about the same as your brain

if you're above a D-cup you've probably got more boob than brain

[bebx]

Twitter becoming a funnier, more chaotic site than Tumblr was not on my 2022 bingo card but here we are.

It’s a hellscape over there

[nayohme]

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

[bunkerbride]

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

[dynamohedron]

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

[nayohme]

grandmas love to have complexes

[coughloop]

Are we just ignoring the person that got hit by an electrical blast

[gunsandfireandshit]

She’s just doing it for attention

[wizardpotions]

Girls will scuttle around under leaf litter and prefer cool and damp environments

[wizardpotions]

Ah fuck I was thinking about woodlice again.

[wizardpotions]

hang on i think ive got it this time

Girls will have armor plating and have 14 legs

[wizardpotions]

Shit that's woodlice again.

[nflstreet]

[neofooturism]

[bunnywand-archive]

if u put some lettuce and cucumber down in ur garden.. u might get 2 see an irl “live slug reaction” :)

[mapsontheweb]

[smegma-factory]

How ttf do you even get data like this?

[wumblr]

if you click through to the source, which is reddit, you can see that in many cases you don’t need any data at all! you can just retitle a population map, and delete your account when people ask for a source. hope this helps ❤

[wolfchaldo]

[1892]

sometimes i just want to tell cashiers like. im sorry for being a customer :( im sorry i wish i didnt have to do this! im sorry . 

[deletemymeats]

Heyyy cashier i heard you talking about how customers are trash and i just wanted to let you know that i agree. Although I myself am a customer (i know, ugh) im on your side “one of the good ones” as some may say. Btw I never noticed how fast you put my order in until now, that is so awesome

[littlemisspoltergeist]

I think we can all agree that the best part of a video game is the footstep sounds. If a game has v pleasing running and walking sounds I will play. Bonus points if the sound changes depending on what they’re walking on,..,,yeah that’s the good shit

[mysillycomics]

What was it like being at dashcon in person?

[mysillycomics]

Happy 7 Years you horrible bastard of a convention

[valtsv]

ocs are great you just make up a guy and do whatever you want with them and it's free and nobody can stop you

[disasterdrow]

bored? invent a little guy in your head. it's free and the cops can't stop you

[iguanamouth]

a horror genre video game where people keep asking you to hold their baby and you have to fight off increasingly determined hoards of monsters without dropping it

[iguanamouth]

sssshit. hshsit shit shit shit sshit sthis thi sthi shit

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[pc-engine-duo-deactivated201711]

i hope donkey kong walks into my house and smashes a barrel over my head killing me instantly 

[nyanguardparty]

this is literally a world heritage post, the inception of “killing me instantly”