“Oh but listening to mario noises for an hour would be so annoying!”
have you ever played any mario game in your life.
Keni

pixel skylines
$LAYYYTER
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art blog(derogatory)

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@itstimetogetspooky
“Oh but listening to mario noises for an hour would be so annoying!”
have you ever played any mario game in your life.
this happens to me every day i dont know how to make it stop
"I could make that abstract art, anyone could" then make it. Unironically. Go buy some paints. Do a mild googling. Do it, make the same art. See what it feels like. Find out what it inspires in you. Back in high school one kid was pretty disparaging of Jackson Pollock's art until we MADE Jackson Pollocks and it became his THING for the rest of the year. You could go into the art room on break to find him picking out colors and preparing space to make em. Try on the abstract art and let yourself forge a genuine connection to it, coward.
This is a great point. Maybe seeing a painting and thinking "I could've done that" should be inspiring instead of disparaging. Like, if a simple abstract painting is considered Art, then maybe the takeaway isn't "wow, art is dumb," it's "wow, I could make art"
wake up babe, new tumblr icon just dropped and it actually FUCKS
mario movie predictions
(for context I’m writing this before the trailer has been released)
this will not be a “good movie”
unfortunately, it also won’t be bad in interesting ways
you’ll definitely be able to tell that many people who worked on this care about the source material. background details will be filled with deep-cut references to things from across the whole franchise, including things nintendo hasn’t acknowledged in decades
those will be completely overshadowed by the lore references in the script, which are the most Dorkly-ass nostalgia bait “hey remember Mario?” type gags a committee of soulless writers could come up with
it’s (at least partially!) an origin story, obviously, but they’re not allowed to deviate from established “canon” enough to come up with anything interesting. the best they can do is reference relatively lesser-known games like Wrecking Crew. they won’t reference Mario Bros. (Game & Watch) because they’re cowards.
it’s a comedy, but they only have like five good jokes. all five of those jokes will be featured in the trailer, so a bunch of people who don’t know how trailers work will think it looks good
the majority of the gags are jokes you’ve heard a million times before. peach sure gets kidnapped a lot! did you know mushrooms are also drugs? if you’re the Mario Brothers does that mean your name is Mario Mario? hey what if “cake” is a euphemism for something!! mario eats mushrooms he’s on shrooms get it
chris pratt’s mario voice is okay. it sounds kinda like mario’s voice in hotel mario, but with less personality
charles martinet’s cameo is as mario. the first time mario says something, it’s in martinet’s voice, then he clears his throat and has a more boring voice for the rest of the movie
princess peach girlboss moments
there’s a “mario is a bad brother” subplot. mario mistreats luigi consistently, and it’s not resolved by mario growing as a person it’s resolved by luigi doing something cool and “earning” mario’s respect
coincidentally mario DOES grow as a person, when he eats the super mushroom : )
in accordance with the Post-Frozen Law of Animated Villains, there will be a surprise bad guy reveal. there are several ways this could go:
bowser as a villain is played straight for the first act, then mario rescues peach and that’s the end of the Origin Story portion. afterwords, the REAL villain comes in, and the gang has to team up with bowser to stop them! and that real villain, of course, is
Foreman Spike, from Wrecking Crew
Donkey Kong
Yoshi (revenge for being thrown into pits)
Wario (wahahahaha)
Luigi (mario is a bad brother subplot final form)
Waluigi (featuring meta jokes about how waluigi hasn’t been in enough games)
Peach (girlboss moments)
ALTERNATIVELY, one of the above is the villain at first, then there’s a third-act twist that. bowser is the villain.
there will be one shot, somewhere, where the super crown powerup appears in the background along with a bunch of other items, and people on twitter will freak out about how this is a canon reference to bowsette
Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking
Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:
Replacing a HDD with an SSD
Adding RAM
Graphics cards if you're nasty
Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you're using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you're using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)
Customizing what runs on startup for your computer
Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:
Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin
adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren't constantly reloading
Closing some fucking tabs bud I'm sorry I know it hurts I'm guilty of this too
Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:
Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.
Correcting disk utilization errors
Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:
Clearing cache and cookies on your browser
Restarting the computer
Changing your screen resolution
Uninstalling unused browser extensions
Things that do not actually make your computer faster:
Deleting files
Registry cleaners
Defragging your drive
Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.
This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.
Timelapse of acorn growth into a small oak in six months
Like to charge reblog to cast
Tiktok ppl when they go out into the world and see cool and weird-looking people that don't fall in line with the heavily-sanitized, conventionally attractive perfectly manicured marketable version of "weird" they've been algorithmically spoonfed at a mind-melting rate
[ID: an ms paint drawing of a creature on all fours crying with an extremely pained expression on its face. End ID]
dw if I die I will still haunt the narrative
Oh HARD DISAGREE. Scooby makes sense as the King because he is the emotional glue that holds them all together but he would do anything to avoid a combat situation. Velma is the one who ultimately facilitates the defeat of their adversaries so in terms of mechanics she should be the queen piece no question. Shaggy should be the knight because he would never face an opponent head on but he often contributes through surprise attack, deception and other situational strategy. Fred would be the Rook because he’s straightforward and dependable; he sees a clear path and he charges forward! This leaves just the Bishop which is perfect because Daphne can only move diagonally.
reposting my own tweets here cuz I don't feel like retyping all of this
heist movie where it’s just 20+ different heist teams from dozens of countries trying to schedule their slotted raid like the world’s most aggressive game of “book the public utility space/community arts hall”
like to charge reblog to cast