warnings: mdni! sexual content, toxic reader, emotional manipulation, toxic relationship, degradation, name calling (bitch, dummy, stupid), fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), risky sex, overstimulation, denied orgasms, edging, crying during sex.
wc: 5.8k
note: i finally wrote toxic y/n….. please do not be like this irl, this is just fiction ! and i lied, i didn’t start part 2 of top two because i got my first enha request and i was so excited i needed to write this first. thank you anon < 3 enjoy ! (and please send more)
it was a sick, parasitic kind of comfort, but you knew down to your bones that your love for him was mostly rooted in his willingness to be your emotional graveyard. you could bury every ugly, toxic, venomous impulse you had inside jake, and he would just stand there and take it.
anyone else would have left you months ago. anyone else would have screamed back, told you to fix your own issues, or walked out the door. but jake stayed. he always stayed, absorbing your bad moods like a sponge, letting you treat him like dirt just so you could feel a twisted sense of control.
his submission was your security blanket. you needed him to be weak for you. you needed to know that no matter how monstrous you became, he would never have the spine to walk away.
you loved him most when you were ruining his day. you knew exactly what you were doing, and that was the worst part. it wasn't a sudden, mindless outburst, it was calculated. the pressure from work was heavy, a dull ache in your temples from hours of pretending to be agreeable, and the moment you shut your laptop, you needed a target. you needed to test him again.
jake was sitting at the kitchen island, his own laptop open, working quietly. he looked so stable, so grounded. it made something ugly twist in your stomach.
"are you really just going to sit there?" you asked, your voice deceptively calm as you walked into the kitchen. "i’ve been drowning in that room for four hours, jake. you haven't checked on me once."
he paused, his fingers hovering over the keyboard before he closed it halfway, turning his full attention to you. "you told me this morning that you needed absolute silence until your team call." he said, his voice level, fully reasonable. "i was trying to respect your boundary."
"respecting my boundary, or just taking the easy way out?" you crossed your arms, leaning against the counter. you knew it was unfair. you knew he was just doing what you had literally asked him to do, but you wanted the friction. "it’s convenient for you, isn't it? you get to play the perfect, hands off boyfriend so you don't actually have to deal with me when i'm stressed."
jake sighed softly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. he didn't look angry, he just looked tired. but there was a patient logic to him that always irritated you because you couldn't easily break it. "that's not fair. if i came in there, you would’ve told me i was suffocating you. i’m trying to give you what you asked for. if you want me to be there, just tell me. you don't have to turn it into a test."
he was right. he was always right, and it drove you insane. but deeper down, under the irritation, a sick wave of relief washed over you. he was arguing back, but he wasn't leaving. he was staying right there in the mud with you.
"i shouldn't have to ask." you said, stepping closer, your tone dipping into something venomous. "that's the point. you're just... complacent. you're passive in your own life, so you're passive with me. you just sit back and watch me burn myself out, and then you act like you're the victim because i'm snappy."
jake looked up at you, his dark eyes holding yours. he took a slow breath, absorbing the insult to his character. anyone else would have told you to go screw yourself and walked out of the apartment.
"i'm not a victim." jake said quietly, his voice dropping a register. "and i'm not passive. i'm choosing to stay here and talk to you because i know you're stressed, even if you're taking it out on me. but don't pretend i don't care about you just because i'm not screaming back."
you stared at him, your heart hammering against your ribs. you loved this. you hated yourself for it, but you loved how much you could push him. his stability was a wall, and you wanted to see how hard you had to hit it before it cracked. you loved him because he let you be the villain. he let you be toxic, he called you out on it logically, but he never closed the door between you.
"you're so pathetic." you whispered, the words heavy and cruel, meant to bruise. "you let me say whatever i want to you. don't you have any dignity?"
there was a sudden shift in the air. jake didn't blink. his jaw clenched, just a tiny tic in the muscle, and his posture went entirely rigid. the patient, reasonable boyfriend seemed to vanish for a fraction of a second, replaced by something much colder.
"is that what you think this is?" jake asked, his voice incredibly quiet now. "you think i lack dignity?"
your phone buzzed on the counter. you looked down at the glowing screen, the name michelle (manager) flashing in a mocking loop. it was your lifeline. a reminder that in exactly five minutes, you could step behind your professional shield and leave jake bleeding on the floor of your kitchen.
that safety net gave you a reckless surge of bravery. you looked back up at him, forcing a cruel little smile to hide the sharp prickle of sweat at the back of your neck. "if you had any dignity, jake, you wouldn't be sitting here asking me that. you would have packed your bags months ago." you leaned your weight back against the sofa, crossing your ankles on the coffee table, deliberately trying to look bored. "but you're still here. you always stay. any normal man would have told me to go to hell, but you just sit there and absorb it because you're terrified of what happens if you leave. you would rather let me treat you like trash than face an empty apartment. it's pathetic. you're actually addicted to being my punching bag."
it felt heavy. the words felt like actual bricks you were throwing at his face, meant to shatter whatever resolve he had left. you wanted him to look wounded. you needed him to look small so you could feel big.
but jake didn't shrink. he slowly closed his laptop. the click of the plastic lid closing was loud, sharp, and final in the quiet room. he didn't look tired anymore. the exhaustion you had been capitalizing on seemed to evaporate, leaving behind a cold, terrifyingly sharp focus.
"i'm not terrified of being alone." jake said, his voice entirely devoid of the warmth you usually relied on to survive your own guilt. it was steady, too steady. "i stayed because i thought that under all this miserable, toxic noise you make, you actually loved me. i thought you were just hurting, and i wanted to be the one to hold you through it." he stood up from the barstool. his movements weren't rushed, they were horribly deliberate instead. "but you don't love me, do you?" he asked, walking around the kitchen island. he didn't stop until he was standing right at the edge of the sofa, looming over you. the shadow he casted completely blocked out the light from the kitchen window. "you don't want a boyfriend. you just want a safe place to be a monster without any consequences."
the truth hit you like a physical blow to the stomach. you hated how easily he could read you, hated that he had just dismantled your entire psychological coping mechanism in two sentences. the twisting guilt in your chest mutated into pure defensive malice.
"maybe you're right." you spat out, your voice trembling slightly as you pushed yourself up, trying to match his height but failing miserably as you remained seated beneath him. "maybe you are just convenient. a sponge for all the shit i don't want to carry. and what are you going to do about it? cry? break up with me?" you glanced at your phone. three minutes. the digital clock was ticking down. you just needed to survive three more minutes of this suffocating tension, and then you would be safe behind your corporate pleasantries.
"you won't leave." you whispered, reaching for your phone, your fingers just a little too shaky. "you don't have the guts."
jake reached down, his large hand wrapping around your wrist before your fingers could even touch the glass screen. his grip wasn't painful, but it was absolute. a band of iron that completely anchored you in place.
you froze, your breath catching in your throat as you looked up into his eyes. the patient, sweet boy you had been torturing all afternoon was entirely gone. there was something dark, calculated, and deeply furious swimming in his gaze.
"you're right." jake murmured, his thumb rubbing almost soothingly against your racing pulse point, though his face remained a mask of pure ice. "i'm not going to leave. you want to see what i'm going to do about it though?"
your phone buzzed again in his palm. two minutes until the call. you wanted to pull away, every instinct in your body suddenly screaming at you to yank your wrist back, to stand up, to put space between yourself and the cold shadow he was casting over you. but your arm wouldn't move. his grip was a terrifying paradox — so quiet, so steady, but so absolute.
his eyes didn't look like jake's eyes anymore. the soft, accommodating warmth you had spent months taking for granted had completely burned away, leaving behind a predatory stillness that made your breath catch painfully in your throat.
"jake." you whispered, and for the first time all afternoon, the venom was gone from your voice. it was replaced by a small, trembling uncertainty. "let go of me. the call is in sixty seconds."
he didn't answer. instead, he used his free hand to casually slide your phone out from under your fingers. he looked down at the screen as it flipped to 4:59 pm.
"sixty seconds." he repeated, his voice dangerously low, almost conversational. he looked back up at you, his thumb dragging slowly across your skin, pressing just hard enough to feel your heart hammering like a trapped bird. "that means michelle is about to ring. and you're going to answer it just like the perfect, professional little worker you always are."
he leaned down, his face stopping just inches from yours. the scent of his cologne, usually so comforting, felt suffocating now. it smelled like a trap. you realized, with a sickening jolt of panic, what you had done. you had pushed him until he broke, but he hadn't broken the way you wanted him to. he hadn't shrunk. he had just waited until you were completely vulnerable, trapped by your own corporate cage, to show you exactly how much power he had been holding back.
"you love using me as a graveyard for your bad days." jake murmured, his breath hot against your lips, though his expression remained a mask of unfeeling ice. "you love knowing i'll just stand here and take whatever you give me because you think i'm too weak to do anything else. well, you're right. i'm going to take exactly what you give me today. all of it."
before you could even process the words, his hand moved from your wrist to your hip, his fingers digging into your skin through your clothes. with one effortless tilt of his body, he pinned your legs down against the couch, his weight completely trapping you beneath him. you let out a muffled gasp, your hands flying up to push against his chest, but it was like trying to move a brick wall. he didn't even budge.
"jake, stop, please. i can't-"
"shhh." he whispered, his hand sliding up to grip your chin, forcing you to look directly into his furious eyes. "don't ruin your reputation. you've worked so hard for this sync, haven't you?" with his other hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his own phone, setting it on the coffee table next to yours. the digital clock clicked over. 5:00 pm.
right on cue, your phone began to vibrate violently against the leather cushion next to your head. michelle (manager) was calling.
jake smiled, a tiny, humorless curve of his lips that sent a violent shiver down your spine. his hand left your chin, sliding slowly down your neck, over your collarbone, and down to the waistband of your pants. his fingers mapped your body with a rough familiarity that felt entirely distinct from the gentle boyfriend he always was. he picked up the phone, swiped the green bar, and held the screen right above your face.
"answer it, dummy." he commanded in a ghost of a whisper, his hand already slipping beneath the fabric of your clothes, his cold fingers making direct contact with your bare skin.
michelle’s voice broke the silence, tinny and demanding through the speaker grill. "hey, glad i caught you. do you have the spreadsheet open? i need the final approval on the regional margins before the 5:30 briefing."
jake’s thumb pressed the green icon, his eyes locked onto yours, a bottomless weight pinning you down. he didn't even blink. "say hello, y/n." he breathed, his voice a ghost against your ear, so close his eyelashes brushed your temple.
you swallowed down the dry lump of panic in your throat. "hi, michelle. yeah, i’m... i’m here. i-i have it open." your voice shook, just a fraction, as jake’s lips curved into that same cold little smile.
he didn't waste time. his hand slid all the way up your thigh, bunching the fabric of your pants, his knuckles dragging against your sensitive skin until he found the edge of your underwear. you tried to close your legs, a desperate twitch, but his thigh was wedged firmly between yours, keeping you pried open, completely exposed to him beneath his heavy frame.
"good." michelle said, oblivious. "let’s look at cell g14. the variance looks off."
jake hooked two fingers into the lace, pulling it aside with a slow drag. his fingers were cool against the humiliating heat blooming between your thighs. you slicked against his touch immediately, a betrayal your body committed before your mind could even process the depth of the trap you were in. he let out a mocking hum in his throat, a vibration you felt directly against your chest.
"is that... g14?" you gasped, the word clipping at the end as his index finger made direct contact with your clit, circling it with a brutal, deliberate pressure. you instantly arched off the couch, your hands clutching at his shoulders, your nails digging through his shirt.
"yeah, g14." michelle repeated, a slight pause on the line. "are you okay? you sound a bit strained."
jake leaned down, his mouth pressing against the sensitive column of your neck, his teeth grazing your pulse point. "tell her you're fine." he whispered, his voice so quiet it didn't register on the mic, but it vibrated through your entire skull. "tell her how focused you are."
he started to move his finger in earnest, a rhythmic friction that made your vision blur. he knew exactly what pace turned you inside out. he had spent months learning your body like a devout student, and now he was using that knowledge to completely dismantle you. his thumb pressed down hard while his other fingers slipped inside you, shallow and teasing, stretching you just enough to make you whine into the empty air of the room.
"i'm- i'm fine." you squeezed out, your eyes shut tight, tears of sheer overstimulation leaking from the corners. "just... a headache. the variance in g14... i-it's because of the system adjustments from the last billing cycle."
"oh, right, the billing cycle rollover." michelle said.
jake’s fingers sped up, a sharp friction that drove you straight toward a cliff. the pleasure was thick and immediate, building so fast it made your hips roll helplessly against his hand, begging for the release that was suddenly screaming through your veins. you were so close already, your breath hitching, your chest heaving against his, your throat tightening around a scream that would ruin everything.
but then he stopped.
he pulled his fingers out, leaving you completely empty, his thumb resting perfectly still against your swollen center, denying you the friction you were desperate for. you let out a broken sob, your eyes flying open to look at him. he was staring down at you, his expression still an unbothered sheet of ice, completely untouched by the heat burning you alive.
"jake." you mouthed, a silent plea, your hips twitching against his hand, trying to force him to move.
"keep talking." he murmured against your lips, his hot breath teasing your mouth but never actually kissing you. "explain the rest of the spreadsheet to michelle."
he began to touch you again, but it was slow. agonizingly slow. a single, teasing stroke upward, then nothing for three long seconds. just enough to keep you hovering right on the edge of a violent orgasm, your body trembling, entirely suspended by his will.
"and... the next line…" you choked out, your hand flying up to cover your own mouth, your knuckles digging into your lips to keep the whimpers inside as he gave you another sharp stroke that nearly shattered your focus entirely. "the column... column h..."
“shhh." he whispered, his breath a warm contrast to the ice in his eyes. "don't lose your focus. tell her about column h."
"the column h..." you squeezed out, the words trembling so hard they barely made sense, your fingers clutching at his shirt like a drowning person. "we need to... we have to adjust it... manually."
right as your body prepared to shatter again, right as the orgasm rushed up to claim you, jake pulled his fingers out. he stopped completely, leaving his thumb resting immovably against your throbbing center once more. he denied you the friction, cutting off the release at the exact second you needed it most.
another sob escaped your throat, muffled only because you bit your own lip until it tasted like copper. your eyes flew open, staring at him in wild pleading. your hips twitched against his hand, trying to force his fingers to move again, trying to steal even a fraction of the friction he was withholding.
jake just stared down at you, his face a smooth mask of pure control.
"did you think it was that easy?" he whispered, his voice a low crawl that filled your entire head. "you wanted me to stay in the mud with you. so stay here, take it."
"manual adjustment?" michelle’s voice buzzed through the speaker, sharper this time, carrying the distinct irritation of a manager losing her patience. "if we adjust column h manually, it completely fractures the year end projections down in row 40. pull up row 40 right now and tell me what the new aggregate is."
jake’s dark eyes caught the light of the phone screen, flashing with a sick glint. row 40. more math, more focus. he shifted his weight, his knee sliding forcefully between your thighs, prying them apart until your hips were completely exposed and vulnerable beneath him. you tried to squeeze your legs shut, a desperate instinct to protect yourself from the sheer scale of his control, but you couldn’t move him.
"you heard her." jake whispered. he moved his free hand up to grip your jaw, his long fingers wrapping around the lower half of your face. his thumb pressed hard into your cheekbone, forcing your head to stay perfectly still, forcing your eyes to look directly at the phone screen he was holding up. "do the math, baby. show her how smart you are."
but before your blurred vision could even attempt to focus on the tiny numbers, jake acted. he didn't go back to the teasing circles on your clit. instead, he shifted his hand downward and drove two thick fingers deep inside you all at once. there was no slow stretch, no gentle preparation. just a blunt, heavy, upward thrust that completely filled you, hitting a deep spot inside your core that sent a violent shockwave straight to your brain.
your spine arched so hard your lower back left the sofa entirely. a ragged scream tore its way up your throat — the kind of sound that would have instantly gotten you fired — but jake was ready for it. his grip on your jaw instantly clamped down over your mouth, his palm sealing the sound back into your throat. the scream died as a muffled, vibrating hum against his skin.
you thrashed beneath him, your fingernails clawing frantically at the heavy muscles of his forearm, but he didn't even flinch. he just pushed his fingers deeper, curling them upward in a relentless rhythm that made your eyes roll back.
"are you looking at it?" michelle demanded, oblivious to the fact that you were currently suffocating on your own ruined climax in your living room. "i need the aggregate number."
jake slowly lowered his hand from your mouth, keeping his fingers hovering just a millimeter above your lips. "talk." he commanded, his voice a freezing law in the chaotic heat of the room. his fingers inside you pumped again, a brutal friction that made your stomach muscles spasm. "read the number, or i'll push a third finger in and rip you apart while she listens."
you were weeping now, silent tears streaming down into your hairline. your professional dignity was completely shattered, grounded into the leather beneath his weight. you were nothing but a trembling nerve. you looked at the screen, your vision swimming, forcing the numbers to solidify.
"it's..." you gasped, your chest heaving violently, trying to suck in enough air to form a sentence while jake’s fingers relentlessly pounded into your slick core. "the new... the new aggregate..."
"dumb bitch." jake murmured against your temple, his teeth grazing your earlobe. he twisted his fingers inside you, stretching the sensitive walls, making you whine pathetically into the air. "go slower."
"the... new aggregate is... four point two million." you sobbed out, the corporate jargon tasting like ash in your mouth. "four point two. i-it balances the... the deficit."
"there." michelle sighed, the sound of her typing echoing through the phone. "that wasn't so hard, was it? i'll plug that in. let's move on to the next slide."
jake smiled, a terrifying curvature of his mouth that held zero warmth. "you're doing so well." he whispered, entirely ignoring the tears tracking down your face. “who’s the pathetic one now, mmh?”
he suddenly withdrew his fingers from inside you once more, the sudden loss of pressure making you whimper and reach for him blindly. but he didn't stop there. he moved his wet fingers back up to your throbbing clit, pinching it firmly between his thumb and forefinger. you let out a strangled gasp, your whole body locking up in blinding overstimulation.
"i'm not sitting back anymore, see?" jake breathed, his voice dropping into a register so dark it made your blood run cold. he began to rub the sensitive bundle of nerves with an unforgiving speed.
your hips convulsed, snapping up off the leather cushions as a broken whine tore out of your throat. the friction was too much, too sharp, too fast. it felt like he was dragging a live wire directly over your nerves, pushing you into an agonizing overstimulation that made black spots dance in your vision. you tried to push him away, your hands weakly batting at his broad shoulders, but your muscles felt like melted wax.
"slide five." michelle announced, the rustle of papers filtering through the tiny speaker. "the client retention figures. looking at the graph, we have a slight dip in august. what’s the reasoning there?"
jake stopped the brutal rubbing instantly. you crashed back down into the couch, gasping for air, your whole body trembling on the absolute precipice of a climax he simply refused to let you have. the sudden absence of his hand made you let out a pathetic noise, your thighs twitching involuntarily.
"jake, please." you mouthed, a string of humiliating begging.
but he didn't answer. instead, he shifted his weight, moving the phone from his hand to yours. he wrapped your shaking fingers around the sleek device, forcing you to hold it right next to your own face. "don't drop it." he whispered, his eyes completely hollow, stripped of every ounce of the sweet boy you had taken for granted. "and don't mute her."
before you could even process the threat, jake’s hands went to the waistband of your pants. in one seamless motion, he dragged them down past your hips, taking your underwear with them, leaving them tangled around your knees. you were entirely exposed, splayed open under the harsh living room lights, completely at his mercy.
he didn't hesitate. he lowered his head between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips with bruising force to anchor you in place.
"i'm waiting on that retention explanation." michelle prompted, a trace of annoyance clipping her words.
"august..." you stammered into the phone, your eyes wide with sheer terror as you felt jake’s hot breath ghost over your dripping core. "the dip in... in august..."
jake’s mouth clamped down on you. it wasn't gentle. it wasn't the soft, worshipful oral he usually gave you when he was trying to make you feel loved. it was an attack. his tongue lashed out, flat and rough, dragging up the entire length of your slit before he zeroed in on your overstimulated clit. he sucked it directly into his mouth, pulling hard, creating a devastating vacuum that made your spine bow off the couch like a drawn bowstring.
"fuck." you squeaked, instantly slamming your free hand over your mouth. tears spilled hot and fast down your cheeks. the sensation was explosive, a sensory overload that was actively melting your brain. he was swirling his tongue around the tightest, most sensitive point, varying the pressure with a sick precision, knowing exactly how to keep you completely paralyzed by pleasure.
"excuse me?" michelle asked sharply.
"f-fluctuations!" you practically screamed through your fingers, your entire body shaking violently as jake’s tongue flicked at a relentless speed. "seasonal fluctuations! our clients... they restructure in late summer!"
jake let out a muffled hum of approval against your wet skin. his hands slid under your thighs, lifting your hips higher off the couch, angling you perfectly so he could consume every single drop of your humiliating lack of control. he pushed two fingers back inside you, stretching you open while his mouth continued its brutal assault on your clit, completely overloading your nervous system.
you were drowning. the climax was right there, a tidal wave of pressure building in your lower stomach, so heavy and absolute that your toes curled and your jaw locked shut. you were going to break. you were going to shatter right into the phone, ruining your career, ruining everything, all because you had pushed a patient man over the edge.
"right, the seasonal restructure." michelle mused. "that makes sense. so how do we pitch the recovery in september?"
the second she asked the question, the exact second your body began to clench in the first blinding spasm of your orgasm, jake stopped.
he pulled his mouth back, slipping his fingers out in the same agonizingly sudden motion. the cold air hit your soaking wet skin like a slap. the orgasm, which had been a millisecond away from crashing through you, stalled violently in your veins, leaving you suspended in a state of sheer physical agony. your body was screaming for release, every muscle locked tight, but the catalyst was just... gone.
you let out a devastated sob, dropping your hand from your mouth to claw at the cushions. you looked down at him through blurry, tear filled eyes.
jake was resting his chin on your inner thigh. his lips were shiny with your slick, his dark hair messy, but his eyes were still that same terrifying ice. he gently blew a stream of cool air over your throbbing center, making you jerk and whine like a beaten dog at the empty sensation.
"tell her about september." he commanded, his voice a low crawl that echoed in the quiet space between your spread legs. he brought his face an inch from your core, just close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his mouth, but he refused to touch you. "pitch the recovery to her, baby. maybe, if you don't stutter, i'll let you finish."
michelle’s voice cut through the silence again, an impatient tap against your ear. "are you there? i need the strategy for the september recovery so i can log it before the briefing."
you squeezed your eyes shut, your hand trembling so violently the phone knocked against your cheek. your body was completely unstrung, vibrating with the sudden lack of touch, a hollow ache throbbing right where he had left you stranded on the absolute peak of breaking.
jake didn't move. he just rested his chin against your damp skin, watching the panic map itself across your face with a mocking patience.
"in... september..." you whispered into the mic, your voice cracking, a ragged sound you barely managed to control. you forced yourself to swallow the knot of tears in your throat, staring at the ceiling as your knees trembled against his shoulders. "we're... we're targeting the h-high value accounts... to offset the dip."
"good. give me the specific metrics." michelle said, the sound of her keyboard clicking away like a countdown.
jake leaned up slowly, sliding his heavy frame back over yours until his chest pinned you flat against the leather cushions again. he didn't touch you where you wanted it. instead, his long fingers wrapped around your jaw, his grip firm, forcing your face up so you had no choice but to look at the freezing depth of his eyes.
"tell her the metrics." he murmured against your lips, his voice a quiet crawl that made your skin prickle. "show her how composed you are. you had so much to say ten minutes ago, didn't you? you had so many cruel little words mapped out for me."
you whimpered, a helpless sound that you barely managed to keep away from the microphone by pressing your hand over the mouthpiece for a fraction of a second.
"what was it you called me?" jake asked, his dark eyes boring into yours, completely stripped of the soft look you had spent months exploiting. "you said i had no dignity." he shifted his free hand down, his fingers trailing slowly over your ribcage, pressing hard enough into your skin to leave a dull ache. he brushed the very edge of your dripping center, just a ghost of a touch, a tease that made your entire lower body convulse desperately toward his hand. but he still kept the pressure entirely away.
"look at you now." he whispered, a cruel vibration against your jaw. "trapped under me, weeping into a corporate phone because your pathetic boyfriend won't fuck you properly. who's the one without dignity now, mmh?"
"jake, please." you mouthed, the tears finally spilling fast over your temples, your fingernails knotting into the fabric of his shirt as michelle's voice came through the speaker again, demanding the specific percentage growth for the quarter.
"you look so fucking stupid right now." he commanded, his thumb dragging across your lower lip, pressing hard against your teeth to anchor you. "answer her."
"t-the specific growth..." you forced the words out, your voice vibrating with a brittle tension that threatened to snap completely. your fingers clutched at the cotton of his shirt, desperately seeking any anchor as your lower body continued to tremble beneath his weight. "we're... we're projecting a twelve percent increase in retention by the end of the month, michelle. it's based on the... the adjusted outreach protocol."
"twelve percent?" michelle’s keys clattered loudly over the line, a rhythmic background noise to the absolute chaos in your chest. "that’s aggressive, but if the high value accounts lock in, it’s doable. make sure that's reflected on slide six before the 5:30 call."
jake didn't break his stare. his thumb remained pinned against your lower lip, heavy and grounding, forcing you to feel every single ragged breath you took. the anger in his eyes hadn't faded, but it had solidified into something structural, an immovable boundary that you had spent months trying to find. and now that you had finally hit it, you were completely terrified.
"i will... i-i'll update it now." you squeezed out, the professional phrase sounding completely absurd while you lay pinned to the sofa, your legs still uncomfortably tangled in your clothes.
"perfect. see you in the briefing." michelle said, and the line finally went dead with a flat beep.
the silence that followed was heavy, filling the room until the only sound left was your own uneven breathing. the digital clock on the phone screen read 5:23 pm. seven minutes until the regional sync.
jake slowly took the phone from your hand, tossing it onto the coffee table without looking. he didn't pull away immediately. he stayed right there, his chest rising and falling against yours, maintaining the crushing pressure that kept you fully glued to the leather cushions. his fingers relaxed on your jaw, sliding down to trace the wet trail of tears that had dried against your cheek.
"seven minutes." he murmured, his voice dropping the harsh, mocking edge from before, returning to that level tone from the kitchen — only now, the warmth was completely gone from it. "you have exactly seven minutes to get your shit together, fix your clothes, and log onto that meeting."
you stared up at him, your chest aching, the heavy coil of unreleased tension still a throbbing weight in your pelvis. you wanted him to say something else, to yell, to touch you, to give you some kind of reaction that made sense of the mess you had spent the last hour creating.
"jake. p-please, i’m so sorry." you whispered, your voice small, the defensive malice you had carried into the kitchen completely evaporated.
he looked at you for a long moment, then slowly pushed himself off the couch. the sudden absence of his weight left you feeling cold, exposed, and entirely empty. he didn't look back as he walked across the living room, his movements calm and deliberate as he reached the kitchen island, picked up his laptop, and opened the screen back up.
"fix your spreadsheet." he said quietly, his eyes already fixed on his work. "don't keep michelle waiting."
genre: childhood friends to lovers, smut, university-ish au
word count: 23.0k
warnings: smut (mndi), swearing, alcohol consumption, post graduation existentialism, the horrors of the modern job market, jealousy, insecurity, itty bitty age gap (reader is one year older), he’s obsessed he’s possessive he’s jealous but in a very jungwon way
note: I in fact did not keep it under 20k #oops. But I had lots of you in my comments and inbox telling me that you prefer longer fics anyway, so I hope you enjoy all 23k words of jungwon who years and pines over his childhood bestie <3
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One year your junior and a constant fixture in your life since before you lost your baby teeth, Yang Jungwon has always existed in a category of his own. You don’t see him as a brother, but you don’t see him as a man. He’s just… Jungwon. Steady, reliable, consistent Jungwon who’s always there when you need him.
It’s why you feel comfortable admitting to him the latest addition to your list of post-graduation anxieties: dating. Namely, the fact that no matter what you try, you just can’t seem to make it work. To make a connection stick. But Jungwon, despite all of his typical predictability, doesn’t take your complaints quite the way you expect him to.
or, you tell Jungwon that you think boys just don’t like you and he doesn’t think he’s ever heard anything quite so ridiculous.
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If you look at it from a distance and squint, there really isn’t anything wrong with Park Sunghoon.
In fact, if anything, he might be a little bit out of your league. With full lips, an easy smile, and long, dark hair that dusts over the angular planes of his cheekbones, he’s a sight for sore eyes. Especially since they are rather sore. Your eyes, that is.
You’ve spent the last week fine tuning your resume for all thirty-six job applications you fired off with crossed fingers and a silent prayer. Your daily screen time is reaching dangerous levels, and you doubt the blue light blocking glasses you picked up from the dollar store are doing much to mitigate the effects of it.
Life post-graduation has been like this, more or less. Six months ago, officially earning your university diploma felt like victory, like the end of a hard earned battle.
But now, you aren’t so sure. Not when the last one hundred eighty days have been nearly identical copies of monotonous despair, one rejected job application after another.
A cover letter here, a mission statement there, a detailed history of your personal opinion on the role of social media in modern society — that one had been for a marketing gig that you weren’t even interested in, not if the advertised salary were as low as the posting claimed. But at this point, you were starting to get desperate.
And still, it’s all been to no avail. Rejection after rejection. Ghosting after ghosting. Ridiculous, you think. These are hiring departments after all, not some frat boy you hooked up with last Friday after one too many shots of tequila. All your effort surely warrants at the very least a response.
But forty-seven of the eighty-nine jobs you’ve applied to in the last month seem to disagree.
And it’s not like you hate the part time gig you picked up at the flower shop a few blocks away from your apartment, but you didn’t work your ass off for four years, earning your degree in a specialized field, just to spend the rest of your life explaining the differences between roses and dahlias to men that piss off their girlfriends.
It’s disheartening, to say the least. Demoralizing. A rinse and repeat cycle that becomes more exhausting with each passing day, each unreturned email.
Most days, you feel a little bit like a shell of yourself. Hollowed from the inside out, just waiting for a scrap of decent news.
It’s why you only said no three times when Sophia suggested that maybe you break up the monotony with a little good, old-fashioned romance.
And not just romance. Dating, blind dating, because she swore the mystery of it all would make it more fun.
The first three times she suggested it, you waved her off easily with some half-witted excuse and a roll of your eyes.
But the fourth time, your friend caught you in a weak spot.
“Come on,” she’d insisted over an overpriced latte. She didn’t mind shelling out for a soy milk substitute, even. She was one of the lucky ones that managed to line up a job immediately after graduation, one she got from the third-year internship she had.
So Sophia had her big girl job and her big girl salary. You, on the other hand, were wincing at the bitter taste of drip coffee straight from the machine.
“I don’t know…” You’d trailed off, unsure. That morning, you’d received a rejection notice from a company you were genuinely excited about. The position matched your qualifications and professional interests to a T. You weren’t one to make premature bets, but when you clicked submit on the official application three weeks prior, part of you had felt like it was fate. A sure thing.
The email this morning proved you wrong.
Dear Candidate, it had started. Because of course, even after all the time you spent tailoring your resume to their standards, you weren’t even worth the effort of typing your name.
Thank you for your interest in joining our team. We regret to inform you that we have decided to move forward with other candidates at this time. If, in the future, other positions become available, please do not hesitate to apply again.
Rejection wasn’t anything new at this point, but this one stung. It felt personal.
You were tired of constantly hearing no, of always having every path blocked the second you worked up the courage to venture down it. You were desperate for something to take your mind off of it all.
You wanted to do something fun. And more than that, you needed a reminder that you weren’t a failure. That at least in some capacity, your time and your presence and your efforts were worth something.
If the only available context for that was a date, even a blind one, so be it.
“It’ll be fun,” Sophia insisted. “I promise. Besides, the guy I have in mind is really cool. He’s been at my company for a couple of years now, and he’s really friendly, even to the new hires. Comes off a little cold at first maybe, but I think he’s just a little shy. You’d like him.”
You still weren’t sold. You took another long sip of black coffee and winced at the taste of burnt beans.
“What was his name again?” you asked.
Sophia grinned, knowing she’d finally won. “Sunghoon,” she told you, smile entirely too smug for your liking. “Park Sunghoon.”
Now, a week later, you can’t help but curse yourself for caving. After all, blind dates are a far cry from romance, and the only thing that your time with Sunghoon is doing, lovely as he may be, is giving you a different source for your headaches.
Across from you, Sunghoon takes a slow sip of red wine. His eyes stay where they should. You can at least appreciate that Sophia didn’t set you up with a total sleaze. If anything, you think he looks a bit unsure when he meets your gaze.
After another moment of stilted silence, he asks, “What do you like to do for fun?” You watch as Sunghoon swirls his half full glass before setting it back down on the table. Aerating it, probably. He strikes you as the kind of person that isn’t entirely bullshitting when they say they know their wines.
It’s a perfectly normal question, run-of-the-mill for a first date. And yet, your mind can’t seem to do anything but come up completely blank.
What do you like to do for fun? Even privately, you're beginning to wonder. It’s as if the job search has taken any joy you used to find in your free time and turned it into existential dread.
You like to go for walks, but it’s been extra rainy these days and you hate how the late autumn air makes your skin feel sticky after just a few minutes. Not to mention the end of season mosquitoes. You swear they’re bigger than any other time of year.
You like to read, but the last time you opened a book for pleasure was half a year ago. You’re pretty sure that same exact novel is still sitting half-finished beneath your bedside table.
Cooking is nice for stress relief, you suppose, but your meals are more for function than show. You doubt Sunghoon wants to hear about the frozen spinach you sautéed last night.
You have been catching up on the latest season of a ridiculously staged reality TV show lately, but you can hardly own up to that. If an hour’s worth of catty drama and hair pulling every Sunday night is the first hobby you think of, Sunghoon will no doubt think you’re the most vapid person he’s ever met.
So instead you say, “Oh, you know.” You try a laugh, hoping it will make you seem easy going instead of cagey. “Things.”
Sunghoon just arches a brow. He doesn’t know. That’s why he asked.
And it’s not like it’s a crime to be awkward on first dates, but you’re starting to feel like you’d be given a life sentence without parole if it was.
Desperate to get his gaze off of you, you return the question. “What about you?”
Maybe the universe will spare you and Sunghoon will be equally bad at condensing his life into bite-sized pieces easily digestible on first dates. Maybe his good luck starts and ends with his face and he’ll be equally tight-lipped about his own interests.
But then, after a pause to gather his thoughts, he starts talking. Your hope for equal footing starts to circle the drain with more urgency.
“I’ve been really into exercising lately,” he tells you. “I grew up figure skating, so it’s been nice to get back to doing something more physical. It’s been great, too, trying out some new protein-focused recipes and getting out for runs when the weather allows it. I really miss the ice, but it just isn’t feasible with work and everything else these days. It’s been fun to try out some new hobbies that are somewhat similar.”
“Oh,” you flounder for a moment. It’s truly pathetic, you think. Maybe talking about yourself is difficult, but how are you so unable to even respond to his answers? “That’s nice.”
Sunghoon, to both his credit and Sophia’s, really does seem to be a nice guy. He’s trying. Doing his best to keep the conversation going.
“Do you like to exercise?” he asks.
You wonder distantly if following a YouTube video at home on yoga for stress relief once in a while counts.
Deciding it doesn’t, at least not to a former figure skater, you shrug. “Not really.”
“Oh,” he nods. After a moment of awkward silence, he asks, “What do you think about the wine?”
It’s a simple question, an easy question, but it’s hard to get momentum once you’ve lost it. To you, this date already feels a bit like a sinking ship and even a question as simple as this feels like a test you’ll inevitably fail.
“It’s nice,” you say. “Goes well with the food.” And unfortunately does very little to soothe your frayed nerves.
“I agree,” Sunghoon nods. “Apparently it’s made from grapes grown in a specific region of southern France. They get more sunlight than the average vineyard, and the soil is fertilized in some special way that makes the flavor more intense.”
He smiles at you, and it’s objectively gorgeous. The kind of look that you feel like you should be fawning over, that you should go home dreaming about.
Park Sunghoon is the kind of guy that feels made for fantasies. Thinking about it now, you’re not really sure how he could even be single, or how Sophia managed to convince him to see you tonight.
But no matter how long you wait for the butterflies to come, they just… don’t.
It’s not because you don’t like him, but the idea of getting to know him, of letting him get to know you, is suddenly exhausting.
You’re afraid that whatever parts of yourself you reveal will come up short, will inevitably be found lacking. Your hobbies aren’t interesting enough for a guy like him. You’re not particularly well-traveled or well-read, and you did well in your degree but not enough for it to be part of a dinner conversation.
You just… you don’t feel interesting. Not in the kind of way that guys like him are attracted to. So when you go home after another half hour of stilted conversation and too-long lulls of silence, you’re not daydreaming about his smile or his dimples or the second date he definitely won’t ask you on.
Instead, you wait until you’re out of eyesight to let the smile you’ve been keeping plastered to your lips fall from your face.
Looking out at the sky, the sun that’s beginning to set on the horizon doesn’t feel like an omen or a fresh start. It just feels like a sunset. The end of another day full of nothing special. Unremarkable. Ordinary.
You’re not giddy or excited or particularly moved at all. You’re not angry either, though. Not disappointed. If anything, you feel a strange sense of hollowness, one with a glare that’s especially apparent under the street lights that are just beginning to glow.
You miss the days when things felt exciting, when you would meet the eye of someone cute across a lecture hall and go home daydreaming about it. Spinning around your room, kicking your feet like a schoolgirl with a crush.
It’s not Sophia’s fault. It’s not even Park Sunghoon’s. But when you finally get back home to your apartment and flick on the lights of your empty bedroom, all you do is sigh.
…..
You thought that when you walked across your university stage six long months ago and were officially given your diploma, you’d be done drowning your post-midterm stress with cheap beer.
But you forgot to account for one small detail — Jungwon.
You suppose your friendship with him might look a little strange from the outside, but he’s been a constant in your life since before you even knew how to tie your own shoes.
Like most childhood friendships, it wasn’t forged of your own volition. Your mother decided the summer before you started kindergarten that her new favorite hobby was going to be gardening. Which was fine and all, except for the fact that she knew literally nothing about gardening and had killed just about every houseplant she ever owned.
To her credit, she tried. She asked the kind elderly lady working the till at the garden supply store for advice and bought the overpriced gloves and trowel she suggested. She scoured blogs and Wikipedia articles and online forums for all the best and latest in flower cultivation.
But your mother simply did not have a green thumb, and after months of watching from her window in silent pity, Mrs. Yang decided to do something about it.
She took one look at your mother’s wilted tiger lilies and sighed. Gently, because even in her exasperation she managed to be kind, a trait she passed onto her son.
You weren’t so interested in whatever she told your mom about fertilizer and shearing, though. Nor were you really interested in the garden at all.
But you did find the boy currently hiding behind Mrs. Yang’s practical work pants far more fascinating than anything you’d seen in months.
Before school started, finding another kid your age was like striking gold. An only child, you were doted on by your parents but only rarely had the opportunity to play with other kids. This one, even if he was determined to hide out of sight, felt like a gift, a friend you were determined to make yours.
Back then, he was a shy kid.
It had taken a fair amount of coaxing from his mother, but he finally found the courage to meet your eye. To come out from his hiding spot and introduce himself.
Jungwon, he said his name was, and you gave him yours in return.
You asked about his birthday and could hardly contain the smug smile that spread across your lips when you realized he was younger than you. A whole ten months. Practically a baby. Nowhere near ready to start kindergarten, like you were. He’d have to wait a whole nother year.
Other than the bragging rights it afforded you, you didn’t mind so much.
That summer, Mrs. Yang helped your mother turn her misshapen, weed-addled, overgrown mess of a flower bed into something truly beautiful.
And nearly every time she came over, she brought Jungwon in tow. The two of you weren’t trusted to wander far yet, but he made your afternoons far more interesting, even under the watchful gaze of your mothers.
He was excited about the same things you were — searching for bugs in the flower bed, digging in the dirt with the plastic shovel set you’d been given for your last birthday, and building homes for the fairies you convinced him really existed using fallen leaves and twigs.
Your friendship might have begun as one of convenience, but the long, sunny afternoons you spent together ensured that none of it was forced.
Your mothers were thrilled too. Both of you were overly curious only children, and it was nice to have your attention occupied elsewhere, to share private smiles at how sweet your little friendship was becoming.
They sighed when you came back from an afternoon of playing with dirt smudged across your clothes and cheeks and cooed when you fell asleep after washing up, sprawled out across your living room floor with pillows you’d pulled off the couch.
Even though you’d been anticipating it for months, the beginning of kindergarten was something you started to dread. And the further you got in your academic journey, the one-year gap between you started to feel less like victory and more like a curse.
You still remember the failed math quiz you brought home from second grade one afternoon, a big, red F written across the top even though you were usually excellent with times tables.
It had taken a fair amount of coaxing, but your mother finally got the truth from you. How you were thinking that if you managed to do poorly enough to fail the second grade, you could just do it again next year. With Jungwon.
Of course she explained to you how terrible of an idea it was, and you didn’t try it again, but for the next few months, every aced exam still felt a little bit like defeat.
Until the seventh-grade, that is, when you decided to fully embrace your role as his elder.
Jungwon was just starting middle school, after all. He was brand new to the world of lockers and passing periods and so much axe body spray it seemed to permanently hover outside the boy’s locker room like a rain cloud.
You made him pinky promise you not to buy any, and all he did was scrunch his nose in distaste, insisting that he never would, that he didn’t like strong smells anyway.
Jungwon might have been new to it all, but you, however, had already been this whole middle school thing for a year. You were one year older and wiser and could help him navigate all of the pitfalls with your hard earned expertise.
You thought it was the best idea ever, an example of your commendable generosity and kindness, until one Wednesday afternoon proved you entirely wrong.
You were hovering just behind him as he worked through his locker combination, weight shifted to one hip as you balanced your science textbook against the other.
Still a couple inches taller than him thanks to the growth spurt that had hit you early, you didn’t have to crane your neck too hard to see over his shoulder. To provide any assistance he might need.
Finally, after getting the combination right, his locker clicked open.
Jungwon sighed. Glancing back at you, he mumbled, “Why are you here? Don’t you have science right now?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, gesturing to the textbook in your hands. “But that’s okay. I don’t mind waiting for you.”
“I have math next,” he pointed out, as if you didn’t already know. As if you didn’t have his schedule memorized before he did. “Which is in the opposite direction. Just go. You don’t want to be late again.”
It’s true. You don’t. Your mom said she’d shave an hour off of your allotted Saturday cartoon-watching time if it happened again.
But it was okay. It was a sacrifice you were willing to make. You told him as much.
“That’s okay,” You shook your head. “I’ll be fine. Besides, Mr. Lee usually isn’t too strict about tardies, so—“
“Just go,” he interrupted, back still turned to you. This time, his voice was sharper than usual. It cut through the air like an accusation, leaving you more than a little shocked. “You don’t have to follow me around everywhere.”
You frowned at that. But still, you thought that maybe he was just worried about you, about whatever punishment your mother had promised. So, to ease his worries, you insisted, “I don’t mind. I’m a year older, so I should—“
“Ten months,” he corrected, voice like ice. And he still wouldn’t look at you. “You’re ten months older.”
Your frown deepened. “Thats the same thing.”
“No it’s not,” Jungwon shook his head, voice rising. His anger, his annoyance, were apparent now. “Stop treating me like a baby.”
“I don’t—” You tried to protest.
But he wasn’t having it. “You do.” He insisted. “You treat me like I’m a little kid and it’s driving me insane. The other boys on the taekwondo team think so, too. They’re starting to say things—“
“What kinds of things? Who?” It didn’t matter if he was angry or annoyed at you. As far as you were concerned, if anyone was giving Jungwon a hard time, it was your business too. You didn’t know the boys on the taekwondo team very well, but you were suddenly feeling very violent, a bad idea given that the boys in question were trained in martial arts and you’d spent no time on a training mat in all twelve years of your life.
“It doesn’t matter,” Jungwon shook his head. He still wouldn't turn around and look at you. “Just leave me alone.”
You’d had fights before. Little tiffs that started nearly the same day you’d met. But they were always small, just bouts of bickering that may have left you pouting but never with any truly hurt feelings.
This was different. This… this stung.
Just like the tears that started to gather against your lash line without your permission, pressing dangerously against the inner corner of your eyes.
Still, you couldn’t help but ask, a little pathetically, “You don’t want me to walk with you?”
“I don’t need you to follow me around everywhere,” he repeated, crueler than he had to be, “fussing over me like you’re my mom or something.”
“Fine,” was all you said. Suddenly, you were grateful that he wouldn’t look at you. If he saw how affected you were, that you were on the verge of crying, it would be more humiliating than you could handle. “Just walk by yourself then.”
Turning, you only paused once you were a few steps away. “And here,” you’d reached into your pockets, pulling out the coupons you’d cut out of the newspaper earlier this week, the surprise you were planning to show him after school. “You can just have these. Give them to your taekwondo friends, since you care what they think so much.”
Jungwon waited until you were around the corner to turn around, to see what you’d thrown at his feet. Bending, he picked them up, guilt swirling deep in his gut as he tucked the coupons for half price ice cream from the nearby shop, the one that you knew always had his favorite flavor, into his pocket.
You didn’t talk to Jungwon for a week.
You were late to class that day, partly because of Jungwon and partly because you had to spend the next ten minutes calming down in the bathroom stall while you wiped evidence of your tears away.
True to her word, your mom didn’t let you watch cartoons Saturday morning. And you spent all your extra time thinking about where exactly you went so wrong.
The silent treatment didn’t last long. You and Jungwon were like that — you’d spent so much time together that you’d learned how to get over things quickly.
Grudges never held for long, and time didn't need to pass too far for both of you to forget what you were mad about in the first place.
But this time, even after the dust had settled, things between you didn’t go entirely back to normal. For starters, you didn’t wait for him by his locker anymore, didn’t offer to walk him to math or science or P.E. or any of his other classes.
Even though the two of you shared a school, the only time you really saw him anymore was on the bus ride home. And that was only on the days he didn’t have taekwondo practice.
But with Jungwon, things had a way of coming back around. It wasn’t long before he was seeking you out intentionally again, before your friendship felt less like walking on eggshells and more like something comfortable.
But you had learned two valuable lessons that day by his locker.
One, Jungwon was sensitive. More so than you ever realized. In ways you didn’t always fully understand.
And two, the gap between your ages may have been small, but he really, truly resented any attention you brought to it. In his own words, he hated it when you made him feel like a kid.
So you learned. You adjusted. And by the time high school came around, you were practically a pro at ignoring the ten months that separated you.
There were still times that you wanted to guide him, to help him, but you did your best to hold yourself back. You tried to empathize, too. To see things from his point of view. It made sense, you supposed. Jungwon didn’t want a second mother. He just wanted a friend.
One that wouldn’t dote on him too much or smother him or embarrass him in front of his teammates. That’s not to say he didn’t use your age to his advantage on occasion, though.
When you got your driver’s license a whole year before him, he wasn’t shy about asking for rides. And when junior year chemistry proved to be harder than he thought, he accepted your journal full of meticulously taken notes with little more than a sigh of relief.
You didn’t mind so much. Besides, it wasn’t like you were the only generous one in your relationship. Friendship with Jungwon never felt like a burden, never felt like a debt to settle.
For all of your age-afforded privileges, he more than made up for them just by being there. Because Jungwon grew up in the way few boys do—he learned to observe, to listen before he spoke. To treat words like something precious and use them only when he really meant them.
Jungwon was your confidant, your most trusted source of advice. You went to him with things that you felt like you couldn’t tell anyone else, and he received it all with open arms and a thoughtful furrow of his brow.
Jungwon wasn’t the type to pass judgment. He just listened, contemplated, and then gave the best, most logical answer he could think of.
He talked you down from your spiral of self-hate after you convinced yourself a failed physics test was the end of your life junior year and helped you analyze the pros and cons of your top university choices when your high school graduation date started approaching with alarming speed.
Affection came easy between the two of you, because it didn’t feel complicated. It felt natural, just like the day he introduced himself amongst the ruins of your mother’s failed garden.
So when you told him, senior year, that you agreed with his advice, that you had decided to attend university in your hometown, a mere thirty-minute drive from the high school you were graduating from, all he did was smile.
He hugged you after you accepted your diploma from your principal and handed you a bouquet of flowers. He complained about having to stick around in high school for another year, and you assured him that senior year was different from the others. It was better.
Your year apart was difficult, but it also gave you space for things you hadn’t considered before. Things like other friends. You met Sophia at freshman orientation, and the two of you became inseparable.
You still saw Jungwon, of course. Weekends, holidays, and even the occasional weeknight dinner meant he was still very much a part of your life. And when you couldn’t meet in person, you talked. Texted. Called.
Which is exactly how you broke the news of your first ever boyfriend.
There had been crushes in high school, but they were fleeting. Insignificant. This was different. Jay was different, and just as you always had, you spared Jungwon none of the gory details.
You told him all about the flowers he bought you, all about how romantic it was when he asked you on a proper date. How sweet it was when he picked you up and opened the passenger door of his car for you and how special you felt when he picked up the dinner check without so much as a sideways glance at you.
But Jungwon, steady, reliable Jungwon, seemed to become uncharacteristically terse whenever Jay came up. His texts got shorter, his responses further and fewer between.
The calls that used to drag on for hours started ending suddenly whenever you brought up your boyfriend. Jungwon always had an excuse ready—he had homework to do or a project to finish or an errand to run for his mom.
But you’d have to be stupid not to notice the common denominator in it all. Jay.
For a while, the choice was easy. Jay was here, with you. He wanted your attention and your time. He liked hearing about your day and telling you about his and spending as much time with you as your schedules allowed.
Jungwon, on the other hand, was becoming more difficult to reach the longer your relationship went on.
Slowly, but steadily, Jay started to become the person you went to for advice. The contact name you searched for whenever you had something to say. The boy you spent your weekends with, making new memories, laughing about nothing.
You trusted him. You were new to it, the feelings, the rush of it all, but after a few months, you were pretty sure you loved him.
Jay was your first relationship, your first real boyfriend, and eventually, the person you trusted enough to lose your virginity to.
Which made it all the more devastating when he told you, sometime in the middle of spring semester, that he didn’t want to see you anymore. That he enjoyed your time together, but he didn’t feel the same spark you did. The same level of connection.
You cried until you were numb, and you were numb until one by one, your feelings started to come back in overwhelming waves. And every time they did, the only person you really wanted to see was your best friend.
The boy you barely even spoke to anymore.
You weren’t sure if he would even answer, the night you drove all the way to his house in the pouring rain. You stood there on his porch, pathetic, soaked from just the short walk from your car, when he opened the door and found you like that.
“Jungwon,” you breathed.
He hadn’t said anything, just pulled you inside. Checked the warmth of his shower until it was the perfect temperature and left a towel and a clean pair of clothes on the bathroom counter for you. Waited outside, on the edge of his bed until you emerged twenty minutes later.
Clean, dry, but with eyes so red he knew you must have been crying.
He didn’t ask you what happened. He just scooted back until he was sitting against his pillows, patted the space next to him in invitation. Pulled you tight to his chest as you sobbed, long heartbreaking sounds that tore from somewhere deep in you.
You eventually told him everything—your breakup, your heartbreak, the sudden loneliness it had left in its wake.
Jungwon just held you through it, wiping your tears and soothing your cries as you laid against his chest.
And you talked. For hours, about nothing, about everything. All the little things you hadn’t been able to tell him for months, all the parts of your life that you’d wished you could share with him.
As it turns out, you’d missed important updates from his life, too. For starters, he’d chosen a university. The same one you were currently attending. You were so excited that you’d be together again, but part of you hated it, the way you’d missed out on such important news.
That night, things shifted again. It didn’t matter what your relationship status was or what distance separated you—the two of you promised not to ever go so long without talking again.
The following September, Jungwon officially started university at the same school as you, and it was the most excited you’d been in months. You loved showing him around all of your favorite places, pointing out the secret study spots you’d found in the library, introducing him to all of your friends and the coffee shop you loved just off campus.
It felt natural, felt right to have him in your life again. Even when things got busy, when you were so bogged down with assignments and projects and internships, you did your best to make time for one another.
You didn’t date again, and if he did, you never heard about it. When friends asked, you always gave the same excuse. You were too busy. You were focusing on yourself. School was more important to you than a relationship right now.
But if you were honest with yourself, your relationship with Jay had left you with a unique set of scars. You were scared of falling in love again only to be met with rejection, of course, but you were also terrified of losing Jungwon. Of the way letting someone new into your life could mean pushing him away, despite what you’d promised each other that night in his bed.
It’s why you haven’t mentioned Sunghoon to him yet. It’s not a secret, exactly, but it’s also not something you’re dying to share.
Now that you’ve graduated, you can hardly believe you’re standing outside Jungwon’s apartment with a six pack of cheap beer dangling from your fingertips. But something about all of your recent failures has you desperate for a bit of release, and you’re sure he could use some relaxation after midterms, too.
If anything, you’re hoping it will come as a nice surprise.
You knock on the door to his apartment, beer dangling loosely from your other hand. But when the door pulls open, it’s not Jungwon who greets you on the other side.
“Hi,” Jake grins, leaning against the doorframe. “Long time no see.” Jungwon’s roommate of two years now, he glances down at the beer. “And you brought presents.”
“Not for you, Sim,” you shake your head. “Is Jungwon home?”
“Depends.” Jake grins. “Are you just gonna leave if he’s not?”
You sigh, do your best not to roll your eyes. You’ve been subject to Jake’s antics long enough to know not to take any of it to heart. A golden retriever in every sense of the word, flirting comes as natural to him as breathing.
You’d be more worried if he suddenly started talking to you like a normal person.
“Can you tell me when he’ll be back?” You really should have checked to make sure Jungwon was home before driving all the way, but you’d only decided to come last minute. Besides, you remember what midterms were like. You wanted it to be a surprise.
“What’s the rush?” Jake asks. When you don’t bother to dignify that with a response, he pivots, “What are you up to these days?”
“Just working,” you shrug.
“Yeah?” he asks. “How’s post grad life treating you? Is the grass really greener after graduation?” Like Jungwon, he’s still a semester and a half away from it.
You laugh, but it sounds forced even to your own ears. “Something like that.”
“You’re still working at that flower shop over in your area, right? I was over there the other day, and I almost stopped by to say hi, but I couldn’t remember for sure. Is it—”
“I thought you said you were on your way out,” a voice interrupts from behind him. Jungwon’s. You’d know it anywhere. “Who are you talking to?”
That little shit. He lied to you. Or at least heavily implied it.
Jake at least has the decency to look sheepish when he glances at you. Opening the door wider, he reveals your best friend. Dressed in a pair of grey sweats and an oversized long sleeve white t-shirt, his hair is still slightly damp. Recently showered, if you had to guess.
“Surprise,” you grin weakly, holding up the pack of beer.
“___,” he breathes your name, surprise flickering across his features. His gaze falls to your feet for a moment before dragging back up to your face. “What are you doing here?”
“Is it a bad time?” The beer falls back down to your side. You really should have checked with him first before driving all the way here. “Sorry, I just wanted to surprise you.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “Not a bad time at all. Come in.” Side-eyeing Jake, he looks almost surprised to see him, as if he forgot he was even there. Then, he confirms, “You’re leaving, right?”
“Yep,” Jake nods, a trace of amusement flashing through his eyes. “I won’t be back until late.” He glances between the two of you. “Like, really late, probably. Enjoy… whatever this is.” Turning to you, he adds, “And it was good to see you again. Don’t be a stranger, yeah?”
“Sure, Jake,” you agree. “Have a good night.”
“You too,” he smiles. “Have fun.” Pausing for a moment, he considers, “Not too much fun, though—”
“Goodbye, Jake,” Jungwon interrupts, something unreadable crossing his features.
Jake takes the cue well enough. Stepping past the two of you, he leaves the apartment. The door closes behind him with a silent click.
And then it’s just you and Jungwon.
“You brought beer,” he reaches to take the drinks from you, passing them from your hand to his. “And yourself. What’s the occasion?”
“Midterms,” you explain. “I thought you could use a night off after all that studying. Besides, it’s been too long. The last time I saw you was when we got coffee, and that was already—”
“Two weeks ago,” he finishes for you. “Yeah.”
“Do you want to drink?” you ask, suddenly afraid you’ve placed your bets all wrong. Maybe midterms weren’t exhausting in the way that makes him want to drown his sorrows in cheap beer. Maybe they were just exhausting in the way that makes him want to crawl into bed. “I can come back a diff—”
Jungwon shakes his head. “It’s exactly what I need.” He smiles at you. It’s tired, but it’s genuine. “I’m glad you’re here.”
And that’s all it takes, all the reassurance you need to slip off your shoes and find a spot next to him on the living room sofa that’s seen better days.
It’s quiet at first, the two of you taking long sips as you ask the standard questions.
You ask how he thinks he did on midterms, and he says he’d rather talk about anything else.
He asks about your job search, and a shadow crosses your features as you also request a change in topic.
One bottle turns to two, and before long, your limbs are feeling heavier, your lips looser.
Jungwon looks at you, already flushed from the alcohol. He parts his reddened lips like he wants to say something. Closes them again.
Then, finally, “I heard something,” he says.
“Mm?” you hum. There’s a pleasant haze in your mind. One that makes it difficult to give much of a response at all.
A beat of silence passes. Another. You glance over at him, a question in your eyes, only to find his gaze already trained on your face.
Eventually, he gets it out. “You’re going on dates again.”
The tension in your shoulders is immediate. You’re not sure if he heard it from Sophia or somewhere else along the grapevine, but you suppose it doesn’t matter much either way. You shrug, feigning nonchalance. You have nothing to hide, you tell yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong. “I went on one.”
Jungwon takes a long sip of beer, the foam settling heavy when he sets it back down on the table. “How was it?” he asks. His voice is infuriatingly neutral. You can’t get a read on him.
“I don’t know,” you shake your head. “Fine.”
Jungwon’s palm splays against his knee, flexes. “Are you seeing him again?”
You feel a humorless laugh rising in your throat, one you barely manage to contain. “Probably not.”
You can feel his eyes boring into the side of your face when he asks, “Why?”
You sigh. This time, it’s you that takes a long sip of your drink. “I don’t know,” you shrug. Pulling your knees in towards your chest, you suddenly feel smaller than before. “It just wasn’t…” your words die as you try to find a way to explain the feeling you’d left the date with. Coming up blank, you decide instead on, “I don’t think he wants to see me again, anyway.”
You swear you feel a fraction of tension ease from the air. Still, Jungwon’s curiosity doesn’t seem to be sated. “Why not?” More to make you laugh than to actually guess at Sunghoon’s intentions, he asks, “Did you spill something on him?”
Wincing, you remember every one-word answer you gave. “I don’t think I spilled enough.”
Jungwon frowns, the turn of phrase not landing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know,” you repeat. “Sometimes, I just…” You lean your head back, letting it loll against the back of the couch. “I just feel like boys don’t really like me, you know?”
If you were looking, you’d see the way Jungwon goes completely still. A moment of silence passes before he breaks it, voice lower, less airy than before. “What did you just say?”
Head against the couch, you let out a small sound, breathless, a little pathetic. “Don’t make me repeat it,” you beg.
But Jungwon isn’t quite ready to let it go. You see his silhouette in your periphery, turning to face you fully. Leaning in, his attention is on you and nowhere else. His voice has an edge to it that you aren’t quite sure what to do with when he asks, “What do you mean, ‘boys don’t like you?’”
All you can do is sigh again. “I’m just… I’m not really charming or cute or good at small talk and things like that. I always say something weird or put my foot in my mouth, and it’s like I can see them losing interest in real time.”
Jungwon blows a stray strand of hair out of his eyes. Glances at you. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“Jungwon,” you deadpan, “he asked me what my hobbies are, and I told him, verbatim, things.”
“Oh.” He pauses for a minute. Then points out, “Well, to be fair, that’s a horrible question.”
You frown. “It’s a standard first date question.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees, “which is exactly why it’s horrible. No one wants to go on a first date and be asked all of the standard first date questions.”
You know that he’s only trying to comfort you, but something about him twisting the narrative so far in your favor just makes you want to sigh. You’re grateful for his defense, but it also feels a bit misplaced.
“How would you even know?” You try not to sound too mean, but the question comes out flat. “I bet you go on dates with those dimples and that…” you trail off, waving your hands noncommittally in his general direction.
Jungwon’s brows furrow. “You just gestured to all of me.”
“Exactly,” you nod. “You have that whole boy-next-door, easy going charm thing about you.” It’s true, and right now, you can’t help but think that it’s awfully unfair. “I bet you could ask whatever stupid standard first date questions you want and girls would still be falling at your feet.”
At face value, it’s a compliment. But there’s something about your tone, the trace remnants of sarcasm, of bitterness, that make him think otherwise.
“I’m not quite sure how to take that,” Jungwon finally tells you.
You sigh. You didn’t come here to project your insecurities on him. There might be layers of truth to it, but this isn’t his fault. You’re not being fair, and you know it.
“All I mean is that boys like you don’t have to try very hard. I feel like it all just comes so naturally to you. I wish I was like that, too. That’s all I’m saying.”
And Jungwon could protest, could launch into some speech about how you’ll find your person eventually, about how there’s someone out there for everyone.
But he knows you, is well-acquainted with that contemplative, overly self-critical look on your face. Can read all of your frustration and insecurity in the way you bite at your bottom lip.
You’re not looking for a lecture or false hope and certainly not empty words.
You came here with a case of beer and the intention to surprise him, to congratulate him for work well done.
He was the one that brought up the date, anyway. He knows that you’re not looking for advice. You’re looking for a friend.
So Jungwon waits for a moment before he says anything at all.
Then, he picks up your abandoned beer off the coffee table in front of you and holds it up to you. “C’mon,” he encourages gently, “join me.” He takes a sip of his own for good measure. “It isn’t going to drink itself.”
“I don’t know,” you sigh. “I already feel kind of—”
“I think I bombed econ,” he offers. You can’t tell if it’s true or not, but that’s not the point. He needs you out of your head. “Don’t make me drown my sorrows alone.”
You can’t help but think that for all the fuss he used to put up about you being older, he certainly doesn’t mind appealing to it when it’s to his advantage.
But even lukewarm beer looks tempting when it’s him that’s offering it to you. And you’ve never been good at saying no, at least not to Jungwon.
He knows it, too. Jungwon isn’t surprised when you accept the bottle from his hands with nothing more than a halfhearted grumble under your breath.
There’s no trace of shock in his eyes when you bring it straight to your lips despite your earlier protests.
He just grins before leaning back against his side of the couch, smile still stretching across his lips as he brings his own bottle up to join you.
…..
Thursday afternoons are your favorite time in the flower shop. Run by a kind woman in her late sixties, she takes advantage of the day to attend her weekly Zumba class at the senior center, which means you have the shop all to yourself, save for the occasional customer.
Usually, you’d savor the stillness. Use it to catch up on inventory or fulfill the handful or edible arrangement requests for tomorrow.
But today, the silence is making you jittery. Mostly because your mind won’t give you a moment of peace no matter how much you beg it too.
Despite the prediction you gave Jungwon three days ago in his apartment, Sunghoon did reach out to you again.
The message still sits at the top of your text threads like a curse.
I enjoyed our time together, he said. Succinct, straightforward, and all things considered, surprising. Are you free this weekend? I’d love to see you again.
And it’s flattering, so much so that you nearly find yourself agreeing without taking so much as a moment to think about it.
Sophia will be thrilled, you’re sure. And you won’t have to burden Jungwon again with tipsy confessions of your own insecurities.
But alone in the flower shop, another thought starts to creep in, just as your fingers hover above the keyboard. A feeling.
The same one you left from your last date with. That strange, hollow emptiness that had you spiraling for days, convinced there must be something deeply, fundamentally off about you.
Again, you start to wonder why you can’t just do it. Can’t enjoy a date and a free meal and the pleasant company of a handsome stranger. Why all of your answers always come out stilted, cagey, so terribly awkward.
Why you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, convinced that any scraps of attention that come your way must be part of some elaborate prank that the universe is playing on you.
Why even a barely-there, trace amount of vulnerability feels like nails on a chalkboard. Why you haven’t been able to form a real, meaningful connection with anyone since Jay. A relationship that ended nearly four years ago. It’s enough to make you feel a little pathetic.
Logically, you know that this is how it goes. You can’t form connections or welcome new things into your life without a leap of faith.
But the potential fallout is terrifying. The thought of trying, really trying, and still being found lacking is enough to sober even the most romantic of your fantasies.
Something about the status quo, no matter how boring or tiresome or monotonous, feels safe. Like a cage you’ve settled into and made comfortable.
Your fingers hesitate, then fall away completely. Locking the screen of your phone, you tuck it back into your pocket with a sigh.
Busying yourself with the arrangement orders, you do your best to push Sunghoon and his unanswered invitation from your mind.
For a while at least, you’re successful. The afternoon passes slowly.
A woman in her thirties comes, looking for a bouquet for her sister who just had a baby.
A man in his fifties wants to send flowers to his daughter’s office to wish her a happy birthday.
A couple comes in, hands intertwined, asking if your shop would be able to accommodate enough flowers for their wedding to be held at the end of the month.
You greet them, you smile, you answer their questions with patience.
And all the while, you leave Sunghoon’s question hanging.
As your shift draws to an end, late afternoon sunlight spilling through the windows, your phone buzzes in your pocket once more.
Half expecting to see a string of curses from Sunghoon, angry you ignored him, convinced you’ve wronged him, you're surprised when it’s Jungwon’s name that lights up your screen instead.
His short string of messages reads,
It was nice to see you again
Missed my favorite girl
Movie night this weekend at mine? Popcorn on me
Tugging your bottom lip between your teeth, you can hardly stifle the smile that threatens to overtake your entire face.
Unlike Sunghoon’s, Jungwon’s message doesn’t fill you with dread, doesn’t leave you with a sudden flurry of doubts and questions clouding your mind.
And, unlike his, it’s easy to say yes to.
You wait only a fraction of a second before sending your reply.
I’ll be there
…..
The left side cushion of Jungwon’s living room couch is starting to feel familiar at this point. It’s been less than a week since you were last here, and it already feels routine sinking down into it.
When Jake steps out from his room minutes after you settle in, he doesn’t comment on his roommate’s company. Just arches a brow.
“You two drinking again?” he asks.
Apparently, he gave Jungwon shit for forgetting to clean up one of the bottles after last time. Ironic, considering it’s Jake’s dinner dishes that are gathering dust in the sink.
“No,” Jungwon shakes his head. Remote in hand, he flicks through streaming service options until he lands on the one he’s looking for. “Just watching a movie.”
Jake pauses, eyes flickering towards the screen. “Which one?”
“Not sure.” Jungwon shrugs. “___ chose it.”
You turn over your shoulder, telling him the title. It’s some rom com that’s been terrorizing your twitter feed for weeks now. And then you offer, “You can join us if you want.”
You’re not sure if there’s enough space on the couch for the three of you, but you are the one crashing into their space. You’ll make it work if you have to.
“That’s alright.” Jake shakes his head. “I’m heading out.”
“Alright,” Jungwon waves him off without so much as a second glance.
“See you later,” you offer, still turned around.
Jake grins, looking at you before he makes his way to the door. “Enjoy your movie. And nice to see you again so soon, ___. I was worried you’d make me wait again.”
Next to you, Jungwon’s jaw clenches. He mutters something under his breath about making popcorn before standing up from his seat on the couch.
Jake leaves before he can rile Jungwon up any further, and the smell of popcorn begins to fill the room just as the opening credits begin to roll. An overzealous pop song plays in the background, one you recognize from the playlist your boss makes you put on shuffle, insisting the corny, upbeat lyrics will convince people to buy more flowers.
Jungwon comes back to the couch, sets the popcorn bowl on the table in front of you. He adjusts, moving closer. His knee brushes against yours. Both of you pretend not to notice. Intimacy and closeness is nothing new between the two of you. Hell, you grew up practically attached at the hip, sleeping in the same bed until you were in middle school.
But there was always practicality to it, a purpose. You held hands at the amusement park because you didn’t want to lose each other in the crowd. You let him put his head in your lap when you had a picnic in the park because the only other pillow available was the ant-filled grass.
This feels different. Intentional. Especially since there’s still plenty of space to his left.
You lean forward, reaching for the popcorn. The fabric of your pants rustles against his. Settling back into your seat, Jungwon takes his turn to reach forward. But instead of grabbing a fistful, he takes the whole bowl, bringing it to his lap.
“Here,” he nudges you. “It’s closer this way.”
You nod. Right. Closer.
In front of you, the movie begins to unfold. Saturated color grading, wardrobe choices that already look slightly dated despite the recent release date, and a female lead that first impressions paint as adorably quirky, it has all the makings of a brainless plot. The perfect way to waste a Friday night.
And Jungwon, who usually insists on holding his tongue until after the credits have rolled, leans a little closer to you just past the twenty-minute mark. Unnecessary, given how close the two of you are already sitting. His arm, bare from the short-sleeve shirt he wears, brushes against yours.
And his lips nearly touch the shell of your ear when he whispers, “This is ridiculous.”
You frown. “What is?”
“The premise,” he hums. “I mean, why would they pretend to date each other? It doesn’t make sense. There are plenty of other things he could do to get back at his ex.”
You roll your eyes. Leave it to him to analyze the storyline like it was designed for anything other than mindless entertainment. “It’s the oldest cliche in the book,” you explain. “It’s for the plot.”
“It’s obvious,” he shakes his head. “They’re going to fall in love with each other.”
“Of course they are,” you agree. “But not every movie has to have a million twists and turns. Sometimes it’s just nice to know how things will end and enjoy seeing how they get there.”
“You like that?” he asks, voice low. “When things fall into place exactly the way you expect them to?”
“Sometimes,” you breathe. “It’s nice to not always have to guess.”
“Would you ever do that?”
Your eyebrows raise. “Fake date someone?”
Jungwon nods.
“No,” you scoff. “I can barely handle a real date, remember?”
You’re not sure what it is, but something in your answer must satisfy his curiosity, at least for now. Next to you, Jungwon is quiet once again. In front of you, the characters on screen continue to tiptoe around each other, dancing around the obvious.
The onscreen tension builds and builds and builds, all the way until it breaks. With a heated confession in the rain and the one aspect of a rom com you forgot to account for before choosing your movie for the evening.
You’re a grown woman. You have the degree and the age on your driver’s license to prove it. But the flush on your cheeks is undeniable as the two characters on screen begin to kiss.
And kiss they do. Jesus christ, you think, just how much of the budget was allotted to close up shots of their mouths?
As the scene begins to heat, so does the temperature of your skin. You’re half afraid Jungwon will feel it, scalding him through the layers of fabric between your legs that still touch. Part of you wants to screw your eyes shut, to reach for the remote and click fast forward just to end the agony, but you’re pretty sure that would be even more humiliating.
Instead, you keep your eyes glued to the screen. Watch unmoving, trying to appear unaffected, as the male lead tangles his fingers through her hair, tugging slightly as she stifles a moan against his lips. It’s so raw, so intimate, that you’re tempted to pull out your phone and confirm the PG-13 rating you swear it had.
It’s involuntary, the way you squirm against the couch cushions. The movement is no help. All it does is make you brush further against the one person you’re suddenly desperately trying to ignore.
The man on screen brushes his fingers under the hemline of her shirt, drags the fitted material upwards.
Without even really meaning to, you dare a glance at Jungwon.
And find him already looking at you. Staring at you, lips parted, eyes locked on the flush spreading over your cheekbones.
Quickly, your eyes drop to your lap, but the image stays burned behind your eyelids. You don’t dare to look at him again, not even once the scene has ended, when the plot becomes ridiculous again instead of heated.
Even once the ending credits start to roll, you keep your eyes trained on the screen, as if the list of assistant directors is something you find fascinating. But Jungwon has other plans.
He shifts against you, knee nudging yours. You hear his exhale, heavier than before.
A moment passes. Another.
Then, he finally tells you, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Immediately your mind starts to swim. Thinking about what? The unbelievability of the premise? The questionable casting choices? Or, worst of all, the kiss?
Out loud, you do your best to school your question into something neutral. “Thinking about what?”
“What you said,” he tells you. It soothes exactly none of your frayed nerves.
What have you said? You suddenly can’t remember. You search for a list of recent statements you’ve made and come up completely blank.
It feels like a conversation that’s going nowhere when you ask, “What did I say?”
Jungwon doesn’t spare a moment. “That you think boys don’t like you.”
Oh. Oh. Nearly a week ago now, your tipsy, self-berating rambling must have stuck with him. Well, that’s fine, you suppose. That’s something you can explain away now. Sober, even if your mind is still spinning a bit.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you try to explain. “I was drunk and my words weren’t coming out right. I just meant that it was frustrating going on a date and leaving feeling like something was wrong with me, you know?”
Only after he’s quiet for a full thirty seconds do you dare a glance at him. Jungwon’s brow is furrowed, his lips pulled tight in contemplation. He parts his lips like he wants to say something, closes them again as if he’s thought better of it.
When he finally finds a statement to commit to, he says, “Maybe you’re going on dates with the wrong people.”
“Oh, definitely,” you agree. “But that’s the hard part, isn’t it?” In retrospect, it’s a big part of why you were so hesitant to accept Sophia’s offer in the first place, why she had to ask you, to insist, four times. “I feel like I have to go on so many terrible dates that make me feel like shit just to maybe eventually find someone I want to spend more time with. It’s not like I think there’s actually anything wrong with me, but I do feel like I have a harder time than other people. You know, making friends, going on dates, finding people I actually want to be around of my own volition.”
After already feeling so rejected from your job search, your headspace has been even more fragile. Dating doesn’t feel like stress relief for you. It feels like a reminder of all the things you wish were different about yourself.
Jungwon’s gentle when he shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with keeping your circle small.”
“No,” you agree, “but sometimes it feels like it isn’t really my choice. Like, even if I wanted to have more friends or go on more dates, it wouldn't pan out the way I want it to. Sometimes it’s just easier to keep to myself, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t times I wish I could be more outgoing.”
After another momentary lapse, another beat of silence, he asks, “What about me?”
A flicker of surprise crosses your features. “What about you?”
“You have an easy time talking to me,” Jungwon points out. “And I feel the same about you. We’ve been hanging out since we were kids, and I’ve never felt uncomfortable with you.”
“Really?” Your brow arches. “Even when I forced you to go down that waterslide in third grade?”
Even his mom had been surprised. He’d been terrified of that thing, apparently kicking and screaming against anyone else that tried to drag him down it. But when you, in all of your fourth-grade glory, insisted that he joined you, he just tucked his hand in yours, let you lead him all the way up the ladder even as his legs shook beneath him.
Jungwon smiles at the memory, a soft thing. But his eyes are still serious, his gaze still weighted. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, “but that’s different.”
“How so?”
“Because…” you trail off, searching for an explanation. “Because you’re Jungwon.”
“Yeah.” The heat in his eyes doesn’t settle. “And?”
“And I’ve never had to think about it,” you shrug. “We became friends before I was even fully self-aware. You’ve always just been Jungwon.”
He’s quiet for a moment, considering. And then, “Can I ask you something?”
“I feel like you’re going to anyway.” It’s meant to be lighthearted, to distract from that strange bit of tension that still simmers.
Jungwon’s eyes don’t lose their edge. “Why did you start going on dates again?”
“What do you mean?” His question surprises you. “I just graduated from university. I’m young and unattached and all that. Isn’t this the time that everyone’s going on dates?”
“I suppose,” he concedes, “But I feel like that’s why you’re so frustrated.”
You frown, and he clarifies, “You’re going on dates because you feel like you should. Not because you want to.”
He pauses for a moment, gauging your reaction. Deciding your silence is permission enough, he presses on, “You’re not even sure what you want out of them or what an ideal relationship looks like for you right now. You’re just going and hoping something will stick, like throwing darts with a blindfold. Then you get upset with yourself when it doesn’t live up to your fantasy, even though you haven’t decided what your fantasy even is yet. I mean, why did you even meet Sunghoon? Because you really wanted to, or because you wanted to get Sophia off of your back about it?”
You feel exposed all of a sudden. Seen right down to your bones in a way you were prepared for. “I…” There’s a maturity to his question that you weren’t expecting, an edge you can’t quite decipher. You turn the question back to him instead of answering. “Since when did you get so observant?”
“I’ve always noticed you.”
“Jungwon…”
“So I can help you figure this out, too,” he insists. “Really,” he adds when you still look unsure. “Who knows you better than me?”
You can’t quite meet his gaze, and it’s all the confirmation he needs.
“Exactly,” Jungwon nods. “So I’ll ask you again, why did you agree to go on a date with Sunghoon?”
It would be easy to deflect, to blame Sophia’s insistence. Or to double down on your earlier statement, that this is the time in your life to try new things, to meet new people. That it felt natural to say yes.
But when you really think about it, the cold, honest truth is just that—
“I think I was just tired of hearing no all the time.”
Jungwon’s brow furrows. “Who’s telling you no?”
You sigh, try to let out an airy laugh that comes out choked, a little pathetic. “Only every hiring manager in the country, apparently. You know, I’ve been sending out job applications like crazy since graduation, but it's been six months now and the only thing I have to show for it is a stack of rejection letters cluttering my inbox.”
A flicker of understanding passes through his gaze. “So you’re compensating, then.”
You glare. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“I’m not,” he shakes his head. With the same tone you’ve heard him use to soothe a skittish kitten, he adds, “That must have been so frustrating. Putting in all that effort and not getting the result you wanted.” He knee brushes yours as he leans in closer, something unbearably earnest in his gaze. “You’ve been working too hard.”
“I haven’t been working hard enough,” you argue. “If I had, then something would have panned out at this point. I just need to—”
“There you go again,” he interrupts, shaking his head gently. “Assuming that it’s all your fault. Maybe the hiring manager was just an idiot, or you caught them on a bad day.”
“Yeah.” Your words drip with self-effacing sarcasm. “I’d believe that if it were one or two. But I don’t think over a hundred of them just happened to wake up on the wrong side of the bed the day they reviewed my application.”
It comes out sharper than you mean for it to. Settles into the air a bit uncomfortably.
Jungwon takes a moment to respond. When he does, he just sighs your name.
“I know,” you scramble for something a little lighter, “like, the economy is shit and all, and one day I’ll look back at this and laugh or whatever. But it just sucks right now, you know? I’m so sick of it. I really just wanted to hear someone say—”
“Yes,” Jungwon finishes for you.
“Yeah,” you nod. “Exactly.”
“Okay,” he nods, resolve tightening as if he’s made his mind up about something. “Then ask me.”
“What?”
Jungwon doubles down. “You can ask me,” he insists again, that same damn earnestness in his eyes, “anything you want me to do.” Meeting your gaze, he adds, “I’ll say yes. I promise.”
Against your will, you feel warmth starting to rise on your cheeks again. There’s something weighted in his promise, something desperate that simmers just behind it. Something that you have absolutely no idea what to do with.
Suddenly desperate for a reprieve, you do your best to break the tension. “That seems like a terrible idea.” You curse the strange breathlessness in your voice. Why are you like this? It’s just Jungwon. “What if I ask you to jump off a bridge?”
Jungwon just grins. “I’ll take my chances. Besides, I know I’m safe. You’d miss me too much.”
“You know,” you start, “for someone who thinks fake dating is ridiculous, this feels even more absurd.”
Jungwon doesn’t budge. “Just try it,” he encourages. “Ask me something.”
You sigh. “Jungwon…”
“C’mon.” He’s relentless. “Just once.”
“Fine.” You glance towards the bowl still sitting in his lap. “Hand me the popcorn.”
Picking it up, he ignores your outstretched hands in favor of learning forward, all the way until he settles it in your lap. His fingers remain against the edges of the bowl until he’s sure the balance is steady. Only then does he lean back into his own space.
“Easy.” He grins. Then his brow furrows, considering. “Are you hungry?” he asks. “I could make you some real food, if—”
“No,” you shake your head. Picking up a single piece of popcorn, you add, “Just wanted to do this.”
Throwing it square at his face, it bounces off of his nose harmlessly before falling to the carpet below. Jungwon’s nose scrunches in a knee-jerk reaction, eyes screwing shut before he opens them again.
“Maybe I was wrong,” his eyes are heavy-lidded, voice lower than you expect. “You are going to use it for evil.”
“Of course.” You reach for another kernel. “So maybe you should reconsider—”
Jungwon doesn’t say anything, doesn’t give you a moment to prepare for the way he wraps his fingers around your raised wrist, locking it into place before you can toss another piece of popcorn in his direction.
His grip is warm against your skin. Tight, something you’re not sure you’d be able to break out of even if you tried.
Still, you attempt to fling the popcorn at him. With the restricted motion of your wrist, it doesn’t make it far. It flies through the air for only a split second before falling uselessly down to your own lap, just in front of the bowl it came from.
“Nice try,” Jungwon breathes, your wrist still encased in his grip.
Your eyes narrow. “I do my best.”
“I’m sure you do,” he allows, “but you’re trapped now.”
There’s something strange in his gaze. Something heavy, weighted that you can’t quite place. Something that feels entirely too real.
You test it, the strength of his grip on you. True to his word, your wrist hardly makes it an inch, his fingers a vice around them.
“You’re ridiculous,” you breathe, voice airier than you mean for it to be.
“Maybe,” he agrees. A breath passes between you. Another. His eyes are still locked on yours, searching, like he’s desperate to find something. Another moment passes, and he releases his grip. Your wrist falls slowly back to your lap. “But I meant it.”
“I know you did.” You can’t quite make eye contact, but his sincerity is evident even as you place your gaze elsewhere. “Thank you.”
“Seriously,” he insists. “My schedule is a lot lighter now that midterms are done. If you ever want to do something or go somewhere or you just wanna crash for a night on my couch, you’re more than welcome to.”
“Did you get Jake’s approval for that?” You arch an eyebrow.
Jungwon’s voice is tighter than before, just slightly. “Jake will be fine." And then, still strained but a bit softer, “If there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know. Don’t make me wait two weeks to see you.”
Here, in the quiet of his living room, movie forgotten on the TV, it’s easy to agree to.
“Okay,” you whisper, regular speech suddenly feeling too loud, too abrasive. And then again, because you really do mean it, “Thank you, Jungwon.”
“Of course,” he insists, voice equally low.
For a moment, the two of you sit like that, legs brushing, you avoiding the eye contact he tries to maintain.
Then, Jungwon sighs, faces the TV again as he reaches for the remote. “Should we watch something else?” he asks.
You nod. “Something scary this time.”
Jungwon arches a brow. “You hate horror movies.”
Shrugging, you insist. “I’m in the mood for one now.”
He still doesn’t look like he quite believes you, but he doesn’t argue any further as he scrolls down, searching for the genre.
At his side, you’re quiet. It’s true. You do hate horror. But you’d take zombies and ghosts and jumpscares any day over the off chance of having to sit through another kissing scene tonight.
This time, Jungwon picks the movie. Learning back against the cushions, he reaches for a handful of popcorn.
The movie hasn’t started yet. There’s nothing on the screen to be scared of, but your heart thumps traitorously against your ribcage anyway.
…..
Two days later, you’re back at your favorite coffee shop. This time, though, it’s not Jungwon who sits across from you.
“So,” Sophia starts, and you already recognize that tone. Uh-oh, you think. “Sunghoon asked about you.”
“Why?” you ask, memories of your rather terrible date coming back unbidden. “To see if I’ve checked myself into an insane asylum yet?”
“No,” she glares. “Just to see how you’re doing.” She takes a sip of her drink, eyeing you over the rim. “Why didn’t you go on another date? He told me he texted you.”
That explains it then, you think. Him reaching out to you probably didn’t come from genuine interest. Maybe spending time with you felt like nothing more than a favor to his coworker. Maybe he was secretly relieved when you’d ignored his message. Maybe he only brought it up to Sophia to be polite.
Your eyes narrow. “Why are you so involved, anyway? You know, this is exactly why they say you shouldn’t shit where you eat.”
“I’m not dating him,” she points out. “And you two don’t work together.” It’s true. You’d applied for an open position a couple months back, actually. And, of course, had been promptly rejected. “That doesn’t apply.”
“Close enough,” you mutter.
“Why are you so against it?” she asks. “Did he suck or something?” Considering it, she’s quick to apologize. “Sorry. He always seemed so nice at work. A little shy, like I told you, but when he mentioned he was single, you were the first person I thought of. Did he say something weird to you or try to make you split the bill—”
“No,” you shake your head. “Nothing like that. He was perfectly nice. And polite.”
Her confusion returns. “So what gives? I didn’t expect the two of you to get married, but I thought you’d at least last a little longer than one date. Besides,” she leans in, voice lower but still not nearly quiet enough for what she’s about to ask you, “aren’t you practically shriveled up at this point? Did you take a vow of celibacy without telling me? When’s the last time you even had se—”
Eyes widening in panic, you interrupt her with an entirely too loud, too bright, “Hi, Jungwon!”
Frowning, Sophia turns back to look over her shoulder. Because there he is, the man in question. A surprising coincidence, perhaps, if you weren’t the one that introduced both of your friends to this cafe.
“Hey,” he grins, glancing between the both of you with his takeout cup in hand. “I thought that was you I saw over here.” Turning to your friend, he nods, “Hi, Sophia.”
“Jungwon,” she returns. Her gaze follows his, all the way from his eyes to yours. Settling back into her seat, she gestures towards the empty chair at your table. “Grab a seat,” she offers. “Join us.”
“Oh, that’s alright,” you glance at him apologetically. “I’m sure Jungwon has other—”
But he slides down into the chair without a hint of protest, your words dying on your lips.
“Sorry for interrupting,” he says. “What were you two talking about?”
You force a smile that looks anything but easy. “Nothing,” you insist, just as Sophia explains,
“____’s desperate need to get laid.”
“Oh my god,” you groan, flashing daggers at Sophia with your eyes as you pointedly avoid looking to where Jungwon sits on your right. “I did not say that.”
“So what?” she asks, either oblivious to your suffering or relishing in it. “You’re planning to be a nun forever?”
“I’m busy,” you deflect. “I have other priorities right now.”
“Busy people have sex,” she argues. “All that stress isn’t good for you. Like I said, you’ll shrivel up and—”
“Can we talk about literally anything else?” She has to know how embarrassed you are from the increasingly red shade of your face, how horrified you are that Jungwon can hear everything she’s saying. There aren’t many secrets left between the two of you, but the gory details of your nonexistent sex life isn’t something you’re exactly dying for him to be privy to.
Sophia leans back, some of the urgency of her insistence fading. Still, she’s not quite done. “I’m just confused,” she explains. “I mean, Sunghoon was kind and a gentleman and more than willing, if the way he keeps hounding me about you is anything to go by. I just don’t get it.”
Slowly, you brave a glance at Jungwon, who’s kept quiet this whole time. Maybe, at least, he shares some of your embarrassment, avoiding your gaze just as pointedly as you avoided his.
But when you turn towards him hesitantly, Jungwon is already looking at you. There’s nothing shy or avoidant as his eyes rake over you. And there’s no sign of embarrassment, no telltale flush, no fidgety shifting.
Jungwon’s just looking at you. With a cool, steady stare. Like he’s assessing you, clicking puzzle pieces into place.
When he finally breaks eye contact, it’s to look at Sophia. “Leave her alone,” he defends. His tone is light, teasing. But there’s an edge there. Something that doesn’t leave space for an argument. “She’ll find someone when she’s ready. Park Sunghoon isn’t the end all be all of men.”
“No,” Sophia agrees, “but surely he’s better than your left hand and the vib—”
“Oh my god,” you’re begging this time. “Stop.”
“What about you?” Jungwon asks, and both of you turn to him in surprise. When your eyes land on him, he’s looking at Sophia, not at you. “How’s your love life looking these days?”
“Love life…” She trails off, shrugging. “Nothing to report. But I haven’t joined your girl here,” she nods towards you, “at the convent yet. In that regard,” she grins. “I’m perfectly healthy.”
“Good for you,” Jungwon nods. “And the job is still going well?”
“Yeah,” she nods. “It’s not confirmed yet, but there’s a rumor that I might be in talks for a promotion next quarter. I’m…”
Her words trail off as you zone out, some of the adrenaline fading, the tension draining from your shoulders.
Not for the first time, you feel extremely grateful for Jungwon. It’s subtle, but it’s enough. And to you, it’s obvious. The way he maneuvered the conversation away from you. You’re sure that your discomfort wasn’t difficult to pick up on, but the way he handled it makes you appreciate him that much more.
Morbidly, you wonder what he thinks of your glaring lack of a sex life. Ever since Jay, you’ve kept the details of your relationships, or rather, lack thereof, close to the chest where he’s concerned. And even when you were with Jay, intimacy was never a topic you breached with Jungwon.
The thought has a flush starting anew on your cheekbones. You do your best to dismiss it.
Next to you, Jungwon keeps his eyes on Sophia, nodding at the appropriate times, commenting in a way that proves he’s listening.
But beneath the table, the warmth on his palm finds your knee. Without breaking conversation or giving even the slightest outward hint that his mind is anywhere besides your friend’s story about her boss’ most recent rampage, he squeezes.
Once, gently. Just to let you know that he’s there.
You fidget, and he does it again. This time, he can’t quite help the grin that spreads across his lips.
…..
Despite everything, you can’t shake the feeling of Jungwon’s hand on your knee beneath the table. Days pass, and in quiet moments, if you give your brain enough leeway, it always wanders back there.
To his easy, subtle defense of you. To the way it seemed so natural for him to soothe you silently with his touch.
To the way he looked at you, considering, evaluative, while Sophia laid out the gory details of your fruitless sex life on the table.
And maybe she was right to question you so thoroughly. Maybe it really has been too long, because that’s the only feasible explanation for the thoughts you’re having now.
It’s only natural, you suppose. Jungwon has been a constant in your life, a steady presence, for nearly as long as your memory extends. He’s been there through it all, your worst moments, your best memories. He’s seen all of it, knows you like the back of his hand, and he’s stuck around for it all.
For someone with an intense fear of rejection, it means more than you can say. You can’t think of anyone in this world that you trust more than him.
And intimacy… Intimacy is just an extension of that, you suppose. Being close with someone in that way is the ultimate act of trust.
Maybe that’s why things felt so stilted, so disjointed with Sunghoon. You had nothing against him, but you also didn’t know him at all. Trust is something that takes time, effort. How could you let your guard down with someone you had just met?
It’s just nerves, you’re sure. You’ve been out of practice since Jay, and with each passing day, that relationship just feels further and further away. A distant memory that you can’t recall well enough to guide you now.
Maybe if there was someone you really trusted, someone that you could just practice with, then—
No. You shake your head, dropping the thought as quick as it comes. It’s insane. It’s the exact opposite of everything your relationship with Jungwon has been for the last eighteen years of your life.
Still, when a message from him lights up your phone screen a handful of hours later, it takes you a full minute and a string of deep breaths to convince yourself to open it.
And when you reread the text, an invitation to drive out to a lesser known lookout where the two of you used to go to watch the sunset in high school, you agree easily. If your heart is beating a little too fast in your chest, well, you suppose no one ever has to know about it.
Years ago, you were the one that discovered the outlook. After a particularly awful day, due mostly to your terrible junior year biology teacher, you’d put your newly acquired driver’s license to good use. You had no destination in mind. You were still new to driving and liked the way that it felt, liked the way it seemed like you could outrun any problem if you just drove far enough.
A series of wrong turns led you straight to a forested area not too far from the highway. Jutting high out over a nearby valley, the scene you found sprawled out in front of you was gorgeous.
It was early spring, then. Flowers were just beginning to bloom, glowing in the late afternoon sun. You shifted the car into park, shutting off the engine. And then you sat, for hours, just looking out at all of it.
As the sun faded on the horizon, so did the most pressing of your worries. Looking around you, biology class had begun to feel a lifetime ago.
You realized that day that you found somewhere special, somewhere that you wouldn’t be willing to show to just anyone. Even then, there was only one person you thought you’d ever share the view with, that you’d ever let into your private little sanctuary.
So, one month later, when Jungwon came to your house after school with a crease between his eyebrows that usual methods couldn’t seem to soothe, you offered him the passenger seat of your car and the view you’d been keeping all to yourself.
That day, it became his too. And a tradition of sorts began to form. Whenever either of you was stressed or upset or just needed to get away from it all, you had a shared place to escape to. Somewhere that felt out of reach from everyone else. Somewhere for just the two of you.
You haven’t been back there with Jungwon for the better part of a year. Part of you is a bit worried as you see his car pull up from your apartment window—this time, he’ll be the one driving—that something happened.
After all, the two of you usually saved the outlook for difficult times.
But as you slide into Jungwon’s passenger seat, the only thing he greets you with is an easy smile.
“Good day?” he asks, handing you his phone so you can pick the playlist for the drive.
“Fine,” you nod, settling for an R&B album you know you both like. “What about you?” you ask, still wanting to dissuade your earlier concerns. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he nods, craning his neck as he checks for cross-traffic before pulling onto the main street. “I just wanted to see you. Thought it might be nice to go somewhere quiet. And it’s a beautiful day.” He looks towards the cloudless sky. “I thought the sunset would be nice.”
The drive goes quickly as you pass familiar streets, reminiscing as memories coming back at every turn.
“Oh my god,” you say as one comes back suddenly. “Remember that time we drove out here because James rejected me at junior prom?”
Jungwon frowns. “James was an idiot.”
It rings true in hindsight. “Yeah, but I was devastated. I cried so hard I got snot on my dress.” It’s easy to laugh at now, even if the sting was unbearable in the moment. “No wonder he said no.”
“He said no because he was a dumbass,” Jungwon argues. “Besides, it can’t be worse than the time we came here because I didn’t make the taekwondo competition team.”
Something about the memory, even now, makes your heart clench a little. “That was just sad,” you tell him softly. “You were so disappointed.”
“I got over it,” he shrugs. “The dartboard you made of my coach’s face helped.”
“Oh my god,” your eyes widen. “I forgot about that.”
Jungwon smiles like it’s a fond memory. “You were so violent.”
You shake your head. “Only for you. I don’t think I’d ever wanted to hit someone more.”
Trading memories like secrets, the two of you eventually reach the right exit. Pulling off the highway, the air around you immediately feels more still. Calmer.
And when Jungwon pulls right up to the overlook, shifting his car into park and shutting off the ignition, things feel just like you left them.
The sun is getting close to the horizon now. The valley that stretches out beneath you as far as the eye can see glows in the last rays of daylight.
Your gaze stretches out too, welcoming that sense of familiarity. “It looks the same,” you whisper.
“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees. “It does.”
Returning here now makes times feel sharper, more obvious.
“We’ve been coming here for what, six years now?” You shake your head. “I can’t believe it’s been that long. I can’t believe I graduated. Like, I’m just done with university now. I still remember when it felt so far away.”
“Yeah.” Jungwon nods, eyes on the horizon. “Me too.”
For a moment, the space between you is silent, the air filled with nothing but the sound of your quiet breaths.
You weren’t the one who asked him here, but if there was ever a place to admit the worries in your mind, you suppose it would be now.
Quietly, you say, “Can I ask you something?”
Jungwon turns to you, attuned to the serious tone of your voice. “Of course.”
“If it makes you uncomfortable, you can tell me,” you promise. “I know we don’t really talk about this kind of stuff usually, and—”
“___,” he interrupts, “Ask me.”
You take a breath. You can feel his gaze on you, but you can’t quite look him in the eye when you ask, “Do you think Sophia was right?”
“About what?” His shoulders stiffen. “Sunghoon?”
“No,” you shake your head, and the tension loosens, but only slightly. “About me.”
“What about you?” he breathes.
“That I…” you trail off, searching for the right words. “That it’s been too long since I was with someone.”
Even now, you can’t bring yourself to say it. To call a spade a spade. Jungwon reads between the lines easily enough.
He shakes his head. “It’s your choice to make. Yours and no one else’s, for whatever reasons you want. Don’t let Sophia make you feel bad just because her choice is different from yours.”
“I know,” you sigh. “But sometimes I think she’s right. That the longer I wait, the more difficult I’m making things for myself, like I’m just making the hurdle in my mind bigger and bigger. I mean, the last time I was with someone, you know, like that, was with Jay, and that was already—”
Jungwon’s inhale is sharp. “It was?”
“See?” you frown, mistaking his surprise for confirmation of your fears. “It’s been so long. Too long. Even you think so.”
“I don’t—” he tries, shaking his head. Now Jungwon’s the one scrambling for words. “I don’t think it’s been too long. I was just surprised,” he says. “That’s all.”
“Yeah, surprised because of how long it’s been.” You laugh humorlessly. “Now even you think I’m a nun.”
“I don’t think that,” he shakes his head. “Like I said, it’s your choice.”
“Is it though?” you ask. “The more time passes, the more I start to think that the cards just aren’t stacked in my favor.”
Jungwon frowns. “What do you mean?”
Your palms splay against your lap. The last rays of sun stretch over the valley, and your words are spilling out before you can stop them. “Maybe Sunghoon only acted interested because of Sophia. Maybe every time anyone has expressed interest, it hasn’t been genuine.” You sigh. “It’s like, logically I know that’s just the insecurity talking, but the more time passes, the harder those thoughts are to shake.”
For a moment, Jungwon is quiet. When he speaks again, his voice is low, serious. Pleading for your understanding. “___,” he says, “you’re beautiful. Truly. Any man would be lucky for even the smallest piece of your time or attention. I know that it’s hard sometimes, and that those voices and doubts can feel so loud, but I really wish you could see yourself the way other people do. The way I do.”
“Jungwon…”
“If you decide to have a relationship with someone, one of any nature, then it should be because you want to, not because you feel like you have to or because you’re trying to prove something.”
“What if I never get over it?” you ask, voice small, hardly a whisper. “What if I never get past this fear?”
“You will,” Jungwon promises. “It might not happen as fast as you want it to or in the way you expect it to, but you will.”
It’s so him, you think. So Jungwon to have more faith in you than even you ever could. He’s been here since the beginning, and he’s not going anywhere. He’s seen you face obstacles and challenges before, and he’s always done everything in his power to help you overcome them.
Maybe this is no different. Maybe the only thing you ever needed was some help from Jungwon.
Maybe…
No. Even with your logic twisting things to your favor, you know that this is different. This is different from asking for a favor or some moral support. If you ask Jungwon to do this for you, you’re crossing a line. One that you’re not sure you’d be able to come back from.
The friendship you have isn’t just something you’re unwilling to risk. It has quite literally become something you don’t know how to live without. You’ve never had to try, never even had to imagine a life without Jungwon at your side.
The only time that came close was during your first year of university, during your relationship with Jay, and that had been nearly enough to wreck you. The potential fallout from this could be worse, so much worse. You won’t risk it.
But then, unbidden, your mind supplies a memory. One from his couch, little more than a week ago.
“You can ask me,” he’d told you, earnest in his delivery, “anything you want me to do.” He said it himself. He promised you. “I’ll say yes.”
So, before you can lose your grip on the last remnants of courage you have, you ask, “Would you ever…”
It’s as far as you get before your bravery fails you, words trailing off into nothingness.
You wish you could take them back when Jungwon asks, a little breathless. “Would I ever what?”
You shake your head. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Just forget I said anything.”
But he won’t let you get away so easily. “Ask me.”
And you swear, it’s like he knows. His gaze bores into yours, searching, pleading, desperate, like he can see you all the way down to your bones. Like even the most secret of your thoughts have been laid bare before him.
“___,” he whispers your name. “Ask me,” he repeats.
“I just…” Your eyes screw shut. You can’t bring yourself to look at him. “What if we…”
“What if we what?”
You open your eyes, but only to look down towards your lap. “I trust you,” you whisper. In the silence of his car, it feels like you’re shouting. “More than anyone. Maybe I’ll be able to get over that hurdle in my mind if I just let you—”
“Let me what?” he asks. “Touch you?”
The breath you draw is ragged, shallow, as he hits the bullseye with little effort. Your fingers find a loose thread on the sleeve of your sweater. You know better, but you pull anyway. “Yeah,” you exhale. “If you…” You can’t look him in the eye, even now. It’s hardly a whisper, but you can’t bring yourself to say it any louder. “If I let you touch me.”
Jungwon’s inhale is sharp, his shudder involuntary. He leans across the center console, closer to you. Closer, closer, closer, until he stops, lips parting, face inches from yours.
He takes a deep breath in, holding it as his eyes search your face even as you keep yours turned down. Your heart hammers in your chest so violently you think it must be trying to escape. You still can’t look at him.
Jungwon’s breath escapes him in a shallow huff, dusting across your cheekbone. He lingers there for a second, like he can’t stand the thought of distance.
Then, without a warning, he sits back in his seat, knuckles white against the fabric of his jeans.
“I can’t,” he tells you.
You look up, eyes widening in surprise. “What?”
“I can’t,” he repeats. This time, he’s the one avoiding eye contact. You search his features for anything, any kind of explanation, but all you find is the tense set of his jaw, the heat that still simmers in his gaze. The restraint holding him back.
And suddenly, shame flashes through you. White hot humiliation that stings all the way down to your bones. It was one thing to imagine rejection from faceless men. But feeling it now, from him, from Jungwon, is so much worse than anything your mind ever conjured.
Trying not to let accusation sit too heavy in your tone, you whisper, “You promised.” It’s so pathetic, but there’s nothing left of your pride at that point. “You told me you’d say yes to anything.”
Jungwon flinches. “And I’m trying,” he tells you, an edge to his voice that sings with desperation. “Believe me, I am. I’m doing my best to make this about you, but…”
“But what?” You scoff. “You changed your mind? The thought of me like that is so repulsive you have to—”
“No.” He won’t let you finish. “But you’re sitting here, looking at me like you’d do anything for it, like you need it, and I can’t just say yes and give it to you because I do too.”
Your anger subsides, replaced with confusion. “What do you—”
“I need it too.” Only then does he meet your eye. Wide in the dying glow of lingering daylight, he’s begging for a bit of your understanding. “I’m trying to be selfless, but if I touch you, that won’t be just for you.”
Your brow creases. You still don’t get it. “I don’t—”
Jungwon releases a shaky exhale. “I’ve been thinking about getting my hands on you since I was old enough to know what it meant. Since I was old enough to want things like that at all.”
It’s all too much, too sudden. “Jungwon, what—”
“I know that you still think of me as the kid you grew up next to, and I’ve been doing my best not to shatter the illusion because you like me like that. But you come home from a date telling me it didn’t work out, telling me that boys don’t like you, and all I can think is good.” His hand curls into a fist, knuckles white. “I could do it so much better anyway.”
“I didn’t…” You shake your head. It doesn’t make sense. “You never—”
But Jungwon isn’t done yet. “You’re sitting here asking me to touch you, but I— fuck, ___. I can’t. Not when you’re only asking because you think it doesn’t mean anything to me. That it won’t change anything for me. You tell me that you trust me, and it’s the sweetest thing about you. I can’t take advantage of that.” His breath is practically heaving now, like he’s just finished running. “I can’t use your trust and break it like this.”
The sun dips past the horizon. The only lingering remnants of daylight cast his face into a gentle glow. Even as shadows begin to trace his features, he’s still Jungwon. Your Jungwon. But no matter how many times you spin his words through your mind, you can’t form them into something you understand. Something you have any idea what to do with.
“I…” It’s so confusing. It’s entirely too much. All you can think is, “Why did you never say anything?”
Jungwon laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Would it have changed anything? I know you. You run when you get scared. You like me like this, your harmless little friend. You said it yourself, you think you know everything about boys like me. And you needed a friend. So that’s what I’ll be. Your friend. But I can’t say yes, not to this.”
“What if—”
“Don’t,” he cuts you off. “I know you think I can handle anything, but don’t tell me things you don’t mean.”
“Jungwon,” you try softly.
His fingers wrap around his steering wheel, knuckles turning white. “Just let me drive you home,” he pleads.
“But—”
“Please,” he whispers, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so broken. “I know it was too much, that it’s not fair to you, but I can’t… I don’t think I can look at you right now and see all that confusion. So just,” he begs again, “please. Let me take you home.”
You want to press the issue, want to keep going until you have even a small fragment of understanding to call yours, but Jungwon is no stranger to making sacrifices for you. It seems he’s been making even more than you ever realized.
Tonight, right now, you can do the same for him.
“Okay,” you whisper.
The drive home passes in silence. Heavy, thick, uncomfortable like a blanket on a sweltering summer night. Neither of you bother to turn on the music this time. The only company to the quiet are the thoughts spinning through your mind, the moon that begins to shine as dusk turns to night.
Still, as he eases into the driveway just in front of your apartment, you can’t help but whisper, “Good night, Jungwon” as you step out of the passenger seat.
Whatever has passed between you, whatever terrible precipice the two of you have just fallen from, he doesn’t seem to be able to either.
“Good night, ____.”
By the time you make it inside, he’s gone. You know it will be, even before you check for his car from your bedroom window.
…..
“Um,” you begin, entirely unsure how to start the conversation. Across from you, Sophia sits on her favorite kitchen stool, scrolling through her Instagram feed while you wait for the pasta water to boil. “Something happened.”
“Mm?” She hums halfheartedly, eyes still trained on her phone screen.
Your words come out too fast, like you’re in a rush to have them over with as quickly as you can. “I was with Jungwon a few nights ago, and—”
“Oh my god,” she interrupts as she finally looks up, phone forgotten as she sets in on the counter. “You two finally hooked up?”
“What?” Your face pales at just how close she is to the truth. “Why would you even ask that? We’ve never even come close.” Well, of course, except for the incident you’re currently trying to explain. That you’ve been tiptoeing around for the better part of a minute.
“Are you kidding?” Sophia deadpans. “That boy looks at you like he wants to eat you.”
You splutter. “He does not.”
Sophia rolls her eyes. “He wouldn’t look at me for a week after I set you up with Sunghoon. And I thought he was gonna kill me that day he saw us at the cafe. All I did was mention the possibility of you having sex with someone that wasn’t him, and it’s like he was writing my name on some imaginary death note.”
“You don’t even watch anime,” you point out.
“I know the reference,” she argues.
Then, something more pressing draws your attention. “You did it on purpose,” you accuse, realization dawning. “You kept pushing the subject that day to see how he’d react.”
“No,” she denies, shaking her head. “I really do think you should put yourself out there more. Whether it’s Sunghoon or him or someone entirely different. Although,” she considers, “it is always kind of fun to see him get like that. Jungwon’s one of those people you don’t really expect it from, you know? He’s always so calm and collected. But I don’t know if I’ll try it again,” she looks at you, faking a shudder. “He’s scary when it comes to you.”
Any other day, in any other situation, you’d protest. You’d insist that Jungwon is entirely unaffected by you and your romantic choices. That Sophia must have been imagining things that day.
But Jungwon has already basically confirmed every last one of her claims, whispered them to you himself from the secrecy of his driver’s seat.
It’s the reason you invited her over today. To talk. To get a different perspective. To help you work through what happened.
Now, though, you just have a question.
“Why…” You still can’t wrap your mind around it. “Why did no one ever say anything?”
Sophia senses the shift, the way you go from defense to acceptance. From arguing to spiraling.
“Oh, ___,” she pouts. “My poor, sweet, oblivious ____.”
“I’m not oblivious,” you argue.
“Not usually,” she agrees. “But it’s like you have this blind spot when it comes to him. He’ll be in the middle of undressing you with his eyes and you’ll start telling some story about the matching diapers your moms bought when you were babies.”
“They were pajamas,” you correct.
“Whatever,” Sophia waves it off. “The point still stands. That boy wants you. Like, biblically.”
It’s consistent. It’s as much as Jungwon himself told you himself. But something about it makes you feel so terribly defeated, so completely unaware of everything you thought you knew about your friendship. About him. About yourself.
A bit helplessly, you ask, “What am I supposed to do?”
Sophia takes one look at you, at the dejection clouding your features, and sighs. “Can I be honest with you?”
You nod.
“I think you’re asking the wrong question. It’s not about what you’re supposed to do. It’s not about what Jungwon wants or what I think about your weird, sexually charged friendship.” Then, she asks the million dollar question, “What do you want to do?”
But that’s exactly the problem, you think, because, “I don’t know,” you admit. “I mean, I’ve never thought about it. He’s always just been Jungwon to me.” Pausing for a moment, you suppose you have little pride left to lose. You might as well be honest. “But the other night, when I was with him. I started thinking about… things.”
“Things,” Sophia repeats. She leans in closer, resting her chin against her palm as she asks, “What kinds of things? Feel free to be graphic, by the way.”
“Sophia.”
She pouts sympathetically. “You might not know right away. You’ve spent your entire life thinking of him as some untouchable, sexless entity. Which is kind of crazy, by the way. Like, have you seen the guy?”
You sigh. “Sophia—”
“I’m just saying, it might not happen overnight.” She looks at you, and you feel a sudden surge of gratitude for your friend. She may be wildly different from you in more ways than one, but she means it when she says, “It’s okay. Jungwon will understand, too. If you need some more time to decide if you want to jump his bones or not. He’s probably already been waiting since, like, junior prom. What’s a little longer?”
A little longer, you think. Part of you already spins with doubt, waiting for someone else to supply exact answers. How long is a little longer? When should you make your decision? How long is it supposed to take for you to know if your best friend of eighteen years is meant to stay as just that, or if the relationship between you has been building, slowly, surely, undeniably, into something else this whole time?
But you suppose that’s what Sophia means when she says it’s okay. What Jungwon meant when he told you it was alright to do things at your own pace, on your own time. You don’t need someone else to decide for you.
The difficulty isn’t a flaw—it’s a sign that this decision is one that matters to you, one that’s worth taking your time with.
So you do.
You think about it while you fine tune your resume for yet another job application. You think about it while you snip thorns off of roses at the flower shop, humming along absentmindedly to the playlist in the background.
You think about it in the shower and while you dinner. When your mom calls you and tells you about the new bulbs she just bought for her garden, the one that time and experience have allowed her to grow into something beautiful and thriving.
You think about it when you reach into the bottom drawer of your dresser one evening, pulling out the gift Jungwon gave you when you graduated high school nearly five long years ago.
A photobook, full of all your favorite memories together. Something to remember him by, he’d told you, so you wouldn’t miss him too much when you went off to university one whole year ahead of him.
In every picture, you’re smiling, grinning so wide you think your face must be in danger of splitting in two. And you’re so lucky, you think, to have someone to share all of these memories with. To have someone who’s been in your life for so long, who’s always been exactly what you needed.
And then, staring at a picture of the two of you in high school, his arm around your shoulders as the two of you laugh into the camera, you think it’s obvious.
You don’t have to make a choice between the Jungwon you know and the one you’re afraid to discover. Jungwon has been, and always will be, Jungwon. The way he smiles at you, because of you, isn’t an illusion, and the love he offers you isn’t conditional.
He’s been your friend for as long as you can remember, and he will be for the rest of your life. Your feelings and hopes and desires may have shifted, but he isn’t going anywhere.
He’s not scared of the truth, you realize. He never was. But he knew that you would be.
So he fed it to you slowly until it was too prominent to deny anymore. And even then, he gave you space. Time. Let you come to your own conclusions.
And somehow, that makes all the difference.
You think of the game you used to play as kids, the one where you put on your best dress and let him pick wildflowers for you from his back yard. The one where you used the welcome mat from his porch as a makeshift aisle. The one where every time you walked down it, he was the one waiting for you at the end.
You smile, nearly identical to the picture still splayed open across your lap, and you think that maybe there was never really a choice at all.
…..
Your knuckles barely rap against the door three times before you hear shuffling on the other side. Footsteps drawing closer until the latch opens, until the door draws back and you see him standing there. Jungwon.
If he’s surprised to see you, he doesn’t show it. Dressed in gray sweatpants and a plain, fitted black t-shirt, you don’t think he was expecting company.
“Hi,” you breathe. “Can we talk?”
Jungwon still says nothing, but he opens the door a bit wider, gives you space to walk in. Standing in the entry, you take your shoes off, setting them neatly with the others before drawing back up to full height. Prolonging the inevitable as if it makes any part of what you’re about to do easier.
You finally drag your eyes back to Jungwon. He’s already looking at you, expression unreadable. His hands are loose at his sides, but his posture is just slightly unnatural. Just a little too stiff. You know him. He’s nervous.
Finally, you break the silence building between you. “I’ve been thinking,” you tell him.
“About what?” he asks.
“You,” you admit. “Us.” A string somewhere pulls taught. A thread loosens.
Jungwon sighs, his exhale shaky. His hand curls to a loose fist before he tucks it into his pocket. “And?”
“I—” Your decision is still solid, not something you’ll back away from. But the words are harder to work out than you expected. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had in my life.”
Jungwon nods. “I know.”
“So,” you try, “it feels weird to suddenly have these thoughts about…”
He won’t let you leave things unsaid, not this time. “About what?”
“You know,” you try to deflect.
“Yeah,” he agrees, “but I’m gonna make you say it.”
You fidget a bit, eyes dropping, but you didn’t come all the way here because you weren’t sure. You know exactly what you want to tell him.
So you explain, “I just… you asked me, after my date with Sunghoon, what I was looking for.” It feels like a long time ago now, like a distant memory. “And I always felt like I didn’t know, but when I think about it, I always think about…”
“What?” Jungwon breathes.
“You.” Your eyes meet his. This time, neither of you looks away. “I think about you. I don’t have to try and come up with the best answer to my favorite hobbies because you already know. You know me better than anyone and you make me feel good about myself and all the things I usually don’t like. I don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable around you, and I don’t feel like I have to explain myself to you.”
Jungwon’s breath is coming heavier now. He takes half a step towards you, almost subconsciously, as if distance is something he’s finding more difficult to tolerate. But he knows you aren’t done, so he lets you continue.
“And then,” you add, “I was thinking about the difference between our friendship as it’s always been and the kind of relationship I think I want. And the only thing that’s really different is, you know, the sex.” Your words are spilling now, faster than even you can keep up with. “But even then, when I was trying to think of someone who I trusted enough to be with like that, the only person I thought of was—”
“Me,” Jungwon finishes, gaze unreadable.
“Yeah,” you breathe. “You. I don’t want to go on blind dates with Sophia’s coworkers or find random guys to hook up with. I just want you. It’s always been you. I want all of it to be you.”
Jungwon’s eyes shutter, brows going slack as he takes a deep inhale.
But you want to give him the same courtesy he’s been extending towards you this entire time. The decision, you want him to know, will always be his to make. “I know it might seem weird or sudden or out of the blue,” you tell him, “but I just needed you to know.” Thinking of his earlier promise you clarify, “You don’t have to say yes. I don’t even know if I’m really asking you anything—”
“You think about me?” he interrupts. “When you think about what you want in a relationship?”
The bluntness of it all still makes you want to squirm. But you hold steady. “Yeah,” you tell him.
“And when you think about having sex,” He’s so direct. It makes you want to hide your face behind your hands. “That’s me too?”
You can’t quite manage words this time, but your nod is confirmation enough.
Jungwon exhales, even harsher than before. “Are you just curious?” he asks. “It’s fine if you are, but I can’t— we can’t do this if you’re just trying to scratch an itch. If you’re just doing it to move on, to get over a fear.”
“I…” you’re trying to read between the lines, to make sure that you understand what he’s saying. It seems obvious, but there’s a strange haze in your mind that has you doubting everything, including your own judgement. “If we do…”
Jungwon doesn’t seem to have the same reservations for spelling it out. “If we have sex.”
“Oh,” you breathe. And then, “No.” You shake your head.
“No?” He echoes.
“I…” You trail off, trying to find the right words to explain. “I’m not—There’s no fear when it comes to you. I’m not trying to get over anything. And there’s no one else that I even want to be with like that, so…” You trail off, searching for the words. “You told me it was my choice, and I guess I just want you to know that it’s yours, too. You don’t have to agree to anything, because you’re afraid of disappointing me or hurting my feelings or—”
“___,” he whispers your name, the sound nearly broken on his lips. You look up at him, eyes wide. “Come here,” he begs.
It only takes two tiny steps for you to stand just before him, for your chests to nearly brush. For a moment, Jungwon does nothing. Then, his arms come up, one circling around your shoulders, the other against the small of your back as he pulls you flush to him.
The side of your face rests against his chest, his heartbeat erratic under your cheek. You hear him sigh and feel the way his breath flutters through your hair.
He leans back, just slightly, and you follow the movement, chin tilting upwards as your eyes meet his. The hand wrapped around your shoulders slowly unravels itself. He brings his hand up to your temple, brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.
His other hand stays steady against the small of your back.
Jungwon’s fingertips linger against the shell of your ear for a moment. You suppress a shudder as he begins to drag them down, tracing the line of your jaw until they come to settle just beneath your chin.
“Is this okay?” he whispers.
You nod, the movement making his fingers press more firmly into your skin.
Then, slowly, he begins to lean towards you. His nose brushes against yours, once, twice, a third time.
“I’ve thought about this,” he admits. “More times than I can count.”
He’s told you as much before, but now, with his hands on you and his lips just inches away, it feels different. It feels real.
“I imagined you looking at me,” he hums, pressing a kiss to your jaw, “with those big, wide eyes.” Another kiss, this time to the curve of your cheekbone. “Clinging to me,” a kiss to your eyelid as it flutters shut. “Sighing.” The tip of your nose. “And I’d try to hold back, but—”
“You don’t have to,” you shake your head. It comes out quieter than you mean for it too. It’s ridiculous, maybe, but even now, you feel shy.
“You mean that?” he asks, lips hovering so close you can feel their warmth.
You nod, nose brushing against his.
Jungwon sighs, takes a deep breath. And then he presses forward, just enough, until his lips finally brush against yours.
His grip tightens against you, fingers bunching the fabric of your shirt that rests against the small of your back.
He’s gentle, so impossibly sweet as his lips find yours. Upper lip slotting between both of yours, he tugs slightly against your bottom lip. Releases it with a soft, wet sound. Smiles against you as you giggle into him.
When his lips find yours again, it’s with renowned fervency. The pressure is more insistent this time, more demanding as he uses the hand beneath your jaw to angle you his liking.
Jungwon takes the lead, pausing, soothing his touch against your skin while you adjust to his pace.
Your hands find his hair, tangling in the strands near his neck. You tug, an involuntary response when you feel his teeth against your bottom lip, and he groans, shuddering against you.
Without breaking connection, he moves, walking backwards, leading blindly, until he sits down on the same couch you’ve been sharing moments on for weeks now. This time, he tugs you down with him, pulling you flush against his lap.
You feel it then, the evidence of just how affected he is. As if the drunk flush on his cheeks and swollen, red tint of his lips weren’t enough.
Jungwon wraps both hands around your waist now, pulling you tighter to him as your fingers cup his jaw, tracing, gripping.
You feel it then, his tongue against the seam of your lips, and you part them without a second thought.
Jungwon waits until you’re breathless above him to decide that he’s had enough of this position. Using the leverage of his hands around you, he maneuvers your body until you're flat against the cushions, head propped against the pillow that sits by the armrest.
Hovering over you now, he uses his hands to brace himself on either side of your head. Eyes trained on your features, on the evidence of his ministrations. His gaze gets darker, heavier, as he takes in the sight of you beneath him. Skin flushed, lips swollen and parted in anticipation, in permission.
Jungwon’s had his fantasies. Has kept them close to his chest and in the back of his mind for longer than he’d be willing to admit. But the sight of you now. Under him, reaching for him, begging for him, is enough to shatter every wet dream he’s had since he was a teenager.
Jungwon doesn’t maintain distance for long. Leaning down, he invades all of your senses. All you can see, even with your eyes screwed shut, is him. All you can feel is his lips, warm and insistent against your, the press of his hands on you, hovering just above the sliver of skin where your shirt had ridden up over your waistband. Every sound, every scent, every taste—it’s all him. Something warm and familiar and entirely new all at once.
His hand plays with the fabric of your hem for a moment, testing the waters. When all you do is kiss him back—harder—he decides to press his luck. Fingertips dancing against the bare skin of your lower stomach, he starts to drag your shirt upwards.
The air of his apartment is cool, even if his touch is anything but. It makes every inch of exposed skin that much more sensitive, goosebumps rising as his fingertips trace patterns against you.
His lips press against yours, a new angle, as a sound loosens itself from your chest. He swallows it, tongue pressing against you like he wants to savor it, like he’d do anything to hear it again.
He has your shirt nearly to your ribcage now, fingers tracing against the bottom seam of your bra, nerves singing with something new as you arch up against him. You need more.
Friction, pressure, touch, it doesn’t matter. You’ll take whatever he gives you.
Then, suddenly, you remember. Pulling back slightly, his lips chase yours.
“Wait,” you pant, the syllable muffled as he presses another kiss against you.
Once your request registers, he stops, mouth still brushing against yours. Leaning back slightly, he frowns. His chest still heaves when he asks, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod, breathless. “But what about Jake?”
“What?” Jungwon asks above you. You don’t seem to be the only one struggling with coherent thought.
“Jake,” you repeat. “What if he comes in?”
He wouldn’t see anything, not really. Even the expanse of your bare torso is covered by Jungwon’s body on yours. But still, something in you hesitates. This, all of it, is for you and him. No one else.
Jungwon shakes his head. “He’s not home.”
“What if he comes back?”
“He won’t,” Jungwon insists. “He’s visiting his family for the weekend. He won’t be back until Monday.”
Still breathing hard, it’s as if your interruption knocked sense back into him. Palm still splayed against your ribs, he rubs gentle strokes with the pad of his thumb.
Looking down at you, his eyes crinkle slightly at the way you look so sweet under him, so shy despite what you’d been doing only moments earlier.
“Hey,” he leans down, nudging his nose against yours, “You doing okay?”
You nod, but you still don’t match his gaze.
“Yeah?” he confirms, “Then look at me.”
It takes a moment, but you do. Your cheeks only redden further, flush more apparent than he’s ever seen it before when you finally meet his eye.
Something in his chest swells. You might be a year older, but fuck if it doesn’t make him feel like such a man knowing that he’s the reason you look like this, that he’s the one who did this to you.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, grinning when you look away again. He presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. A chaste peck against the seam of your lips. “My beautiful, perfect girl.”
“Jungwon,” you whine.
“What?” he asks. “It’s true.”
“I thought you wanted to kiss me.”
“I can take a break to compliment you?”
You flush again, hands coming up to cover your face.
“Ah, ah,” Jungwon tsks, fingers wrapping around your wrists. “I asked you to look at me.” He pulls, gentle but insistent, until your hands fall away. Until he can once again look you in the eye.
“How long are you just gonna stare at me?” you ask.
“As long as you’ll let me,” he grins.
“Jungwon,” you whine again.
“Why?” he asks, practically cooing at you now. “Is my baby shy?”
You shudder at the pet name, and it awakens something devious in him.
“Oh,” he breathes. “I see. You’re getting impatient. Need me to touch you. Is that it?”
All you do is whine, but it’s a good enough answer for him.
“C’mon,” he urges, leaning back. “Up.”
You frown at the sudden distance, a furrow creasing your brow.
“The first time we have sex is not going to be on my living room couch,” he explains. Taking your hand in his, he guides you instead towards his bedroom.
And it’s not like you’ve never been here before, but something about the low light, the weight of what you’re about to do, makes it feel like uncharted territory.
You step into the room, even further than Jungwon, eyes trained on the queen size bed pressed up under the window on the far side of the room.
Your back to him, you hear Jungwon pull the door shut. It latches into place with a quiet click. And then, behind you, he asks, “What are you thinking about?”
“You,” you admit, turning to face him as you sit on the edge of his bed. “Us. I never thought…” you trail off, palm smoothing against the top of his sheets. “I never thought we’d be here.”
“I did,” Jungwon tells you.
“Really?” Your eyes widen when you look at him.
“Maybe thought is the wrong word,” he amends. “But I hoped.” He’s quiet for a moment, emotions playing out across his features. “Now that you’re here, I…” he hesitates, trying to find the words. “I don’t want to do anything wrong,” he admits. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“You won’t.” You shake your head. “I told you. I trust you. That includes this, too.”
Jungwon looks at you, gaze open. “You mean that?”
“Of course,” you nod.
Some of the tension drains from his broad shoulders, but he stays where he is, silhouette shrouded in the dim light of his bedroom.
This time, it’s you who takes charge.
“Jungwon,” you whisper, an echo of your earlier embrace in his entry way. “Come here.”
That’s all the encouragement he needs. His footsteps are even, steady, as he makes his way towards you. All the way until he stands just before you, looking down at where you sit on his sheets.
His hand comes to your cheek, thumb tracing patterns against your skin as you lean into his touch.
“Up,” he instructs. “Back against the pillows.” His hand falls from your face, trails down until his fingers interlace with yours. He follows in your wake as you move according to his instructions, all the way until you’re in a ghost of the position from his couch.
His body hovers over yours, breath warm as it fans against your cheekbone.
Again, his fingers find the hem of your shirt. This time, he’s less shy about pressing it upwards, all the way until it sits against the band of your bra.
Plain, black, built more for comfort than arousal. But you know Jungwon. He’ll take you as you are.
“Jungwon,” you breathe, just as his fingertip slips beneath the band. It takes him a moment to tear his eyes away, to look up and meet your gaze. “Kiss me.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice.
Lips meeting yours, the slow build from before is gone. He knows what he’s searching for now, has already learned what rhythm makes you breathless fastest, palms splaying against his chest like you’d do anything to be closer.
His hand comes to your hip, then slides to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. You shudder as he guides it open, pliant to his touch. Jungwon uses the newly created space to slot his leg in between yours.
The shift has him brushing against you where tension is beginning to gather, exactly where you’re beginning to ache.
It feels good, but there’s something frustrating about it. The way sensation builds and falls in the same maddening ebb and flow, like the sea of an uncharacteristically quiet day.
You already know it’s not enough. Against his lips, you whine. A pathetic little sound that stays half trapped in your throat. But Jungwon understands.
Sees the way your hips are starting to roll against him, the way your brow creases in concentration as you try to find a better angle.
Leg still between yours, he lets his fingertips ghost over the planes of your bare stomach, dragging downwards until he’s exactly where you want him.
You whine against his lips and he shudders. “Is this what you need?”
You can hardly respond, can hardly think as his fingers dip below your waistband. Far more precise, it doesn’t take long to have you seeing stars.
He’s still kissing you, and you do your best to return it, but the sensations he levels you with are more than a little maddening. Lips parted against his, your mouth is practically slack as he works against you.
“Feels—good,” you sigh, eyes screwing shut.
“I can tell,” he whispers, some kind of awe in his voice. “Look at you.”
You’re so close. Jungwon can tell, too. He’s frantic now, movements tighter, faster as he watches the way your face twists in pleasure.
Your hand closes around his wrist, stopping him. “Jungwon,” you pant, the sound of his name hardly coherent. “Wait.”
Immediately, his hand stills. He doesn’t pull away though, just leaves it there, against you.
The sensation sends a fresh, aching throb pulsing from somewhere deep within you. Jungwon feels it too, against his fingertips, and groans.
Remembering himself, he asks, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you shake your head. “I just… I’m ready.”
Jungwon thinks he knows what you mean. He’s imagined those same words from you before. A million times, in a million different contexts. But the sight of you beneath him, eyes wide, lips parted, so terribly sweet, is so much better than he ever dreamed.
“I want you,” you whisper, tugging at his wrist. “Please.”
Jungwon won’t make you wait. Fingers still hidden beneath your waistband, he slides them towards the top now, pulling, all the way until you’re bare beneath him.
He presses a kiss against your hip, just shy of where he was moments before.
He helps you slide your shirt over your head and shudders when your bra follows in its wake. He marvels at the feeling of your hands, smaller than his, tugging at his shirt, his jeans, until the two of you are in an equal state of undress.
Again, because it’s true and because he can’t help himself, he whispers, “You’re beautiful.”
You’re still shy, even more so with the weight of his gaze on you, but you manage, “So are you.” It’s his turn to flush.
Hands pressing against your shoulders, he guides you to lay down again. Hair fanning out against his pillows, he thinks you look a bit like an angel here, tangled in his sheets.
He’d tell you, if he weren’t so distracted by the sudden feeling of your leg coming to wrap around his waist.
Skin against skin, it feels even closer than before. Warmer, Softer.
“Jungwon,” your brows pull downward, eyes fluttering shut as you chase the sensations that have begun to drown you. “Please.”
He moves slowly, not from hesitation. Jungwon doesn’t think he’s ever been so sure of anything in his life. But he knows what this means to you, to him. He wants to take his time, wants to let every part of you adjust to him until you feel like an extension of one another, until your bodies can’t quite tell where one ends and the other begins.
He swallows your gasp as he presses into you. Brows furrowed, lips parted, he drops his head into the crook of your neck, scattering soothing kisses down the length of your throat.
“Feels so good,” he encourages as you whimper, adjusting. “Perfect, like you were made for me.”
The sentiment rings true, now and later, when he feels you relax around him, when he starts to move.
Slowly, reverently, at a pace that lets him press as deep as possible.
He brings his hand from your hip to the space just beneath your navel, palm splaying over your lower stomach, just above where he presses inside of you. Pushing down slightly, the added pressure makes you whine, tightening around him.
Jungwon groans, a long, deep sound that vibrates between your bodies.
“Jungwon,” you whisper, when the ache starts to sing, when the pressure starts to build. When you close your eyes and see stars behind them.
“I know,” he pants, like he feels it too. “It’s okay,” he assures. “I have you.”
It’s a reminder of what brought you here in the first place. And the sound of his voice is all you need.
Keening high in your throat, every muscle, every nerve, every fiber in your body goes taut. Tightens, pulls, before it releases. Jungwon leans down, lips parted against your collarbone as he groans, falling over the same edge only moments after you.
The shower he runs for you is warm, the touch he washes your hair with soothing as he rinses soap from your scalp.
The sheets are soft as you crawl between them, Jungwon’s chest firm as he pulls you tight against him.
“Sleep,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple.
Body exhausted, mind sated, it doesn’t take long for you to do as he says. In his arms, the rest that finds you is deep and dreamless.
…..
“Name?” Across from you, the secretary that sits at the front desk looks bored out of her mind. As if she’s seen one too many potential new hires and doesn’t think they’re worth remembering at this point.
You give her your name, and she types a brief note into her computer. Doesn’t bother memorizing it, but you won’t let that get to you, not today.
“You can sit over there.” She gestures towards the row of chairs against the far wall of the reception area. With a smile so tight you think her jaw must hurt, she adds, “I’ll call you when they’re ready.”
It’s not much. It’s barely even polite, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Not when this is the first real company you’ve stepped foot in in months. When this is the first time you’ve gotten a string of congratulations in the subject line of your email inbox instead of rejections.
Still, it isn’t a sure thing. A test run, the hiring manager had called it. A week of in-person work at the company to see if you’ll be a good fit, if they’re willing to formally offer you a position.
An extension of the already lengthy interview process you’ve been subjected to for the last six weeks. But it’s far more than you’ve gotten from anywhere else.
It’s enough to have hope soaring in your chest, even at the prospect of a week of what is essentially unpaid labor.
Sliding down into the chair, you tug at the sleeve of your blazer, smooth the collar over one final time.
In your mind, you rehearse the answers you gave during your interviews. You’re not sure if you’ll be asked again, but you figure it’s better to be safe than sorry.
You’re interested in the position, because the company’s mission statement excites you. You think it aligns well with your experience and your hopes for a future career.
Are you good with deadlines? Better than nearly everyone you know. Do you work well under pressure? Absolutely. Where do you see yourself in five years? Advancing in your career as a young professional in the same field you earned your degree in. The same field a position at this company would put you in.
As the minutes pass, you remind yourself to breathe, to relax. The butterflies taking flight in your stomach won’t help you now, so you do your best to banish them.
And, minutes later, just as the secretary calls your name, you feel your phone buzz.
Glancing down, you grin at the message that comes through.
You got this, Jungwon says, the small heart next to his contact name shining like a reminder. Knock em dead
And then, beneath it,
Can’t wait to see you tonight beautiful
So, you stand up a little straighter. Shoulders square, chin high. You’re okay, even as your nerves threaten to send your heart beating out of your chest.
No matter what the results of this so-called trial run are, or every single attempt you’ll surely make after it, you’ll be fine. And if you fail, you’ll try again.
Whether this ends in an official offer letter or a bold-faced rejection, no matter what, you have Jungwon—rooting for you, thinking of you, waiting for you to come back and tell him all about it.
Jungwon, your best friend, your favorite person, and probably, if the feelings you’re starting to get whenever he’s near are anything to go by, the love of your life.
You meet the secretary’s gaze, smiling even as all she does is arch a brow. And then you tell her, “I’m ready.”
jungkook has always been your forbidden fantasy — the one man you could never have. unbeknownst to you, he yearned for you just as badly, fighting every urge and dark desire because you were his son's girlfriend. until that one night, heartbroken after being cheated on, you run into his warm safe arms and every rule breaks. what happens when the best raw passionate night of your life turns into the sweetest revenge and the beginning of something new?
⁽ PAIRING ₎ ex-boyfriend's father!jungkook x f.reader
⁽ GENRE ₎ forbidden love, dark romance, age gap, yearning and pining, long term mutual secret attraction, angst & drama, fluff, smut
⁽ WARNINGS ₎ 18+, explicit smut, reader is 23 & jungkook is 41 (18 years age gap), cheating and infidelity (by the boyfriend), revenge and heartbreak, sexual fantasies and masturbation, alcohol consumption and smoking, sensual dancing, angry love confessions, arguments, mirror sex, multiple sex scenes and orgasms, different positions, rough sex, dirty talk and degradation, praise kink, size kink, power imbalance, semi public sex, creampie and breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), breast and nipple play, face sitting, clit play, fingering, cum eating, overstimulation, oral sex (m. receiving), blowjob, throat bulging, hair fisting, cum on tits, body worship, manhandling, cum stuffing and cock warming, jungkook teaches his son a good lesson, more tags to be added... (each part will contain their individual warnings)
⁽ NOTE ₎ i'm so excited to share this fic with y'all! it's something different and unlike anything i've tried before so i really hope you'll enjoy it. it'll most likely be a three-shot and i wanted to share a little teaser, let me know your thoughts sweet darlings, i love you bunch <33
⁽ TAGLIST ₎ [ OPEN .ᐟ ]
➥ 『 MASTERLIST | READ ON WATTPAD 』
“ah... ah… ah…”
the slap of wet skin on skin was all that was ringing in your ears along with jungkook's low manly groans as he fucked you deep and hard from behind on the bed.
the very bed that you once shared with his son.
your dress was bunched around your waist, panties long gone and his big hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise.
“fuckk you feel even better than i imagined.”
he growled against your ear, thrusting hard, one hand sliding up to squeeze your breast.
“so tight for me baby, been waiting forever for this pussy.”
you moaned loudly pushing back against him, lost in the feeling of his huge cock stretching you, you could barely breathe and it felt like he was inside your stomach.
“jungkook oh god y-yes.. harder...”
that's when the door suddenly flew open.
your ex, his son stood there frozen, eyes wide with shock, phone still in his hand like he'd been about to call you once again.
“what the actual fuck?!”
jungkook didn't stop, not even for a second, he just smirked, hips snapping forward again so hard that you squealed not being able to stay still.
his one hand stayed on your hip while the other tangled in your hair, tilting your head up so his son could see your tear streaked face twisted in pleasure.
“surprise.” jungkook said casually yet roughly.
“took you long enough to show up.”
“dad what the hell are you doing with her?!”
he yelled, his face turning red with rage and disbelief.
the embarrassment made you want to pull away for a bit but jungkook held you firmly in place, starting to pound into you now with perfect rhythm and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your pussy clenching hard.
“what does it look like i'm doing?”
jungkook chuckled darkly, not missing a beat, he leaned down, biting your shoulder lightly before looking back at his son.
“i'm fucking the girl you were stupid enough to cheat on.. she came to me crying about your sorry ass, figured i'd show her what a real man feels like.”
his son took a step forward, fists clenching, not even registering the words properly.
“get the fuck off her! that's my girlfriend!”
“was.” jungkook corrected.
his pace picks up again while you whined helplessly, the thrill of being watched while being owned by the man that you've always wanted made you even hornier and wetter.
the sick twisted part of you loved that jungkook was taking his revenge so sweetly.
“jungkook...”
you gasped, shame no longer left in you as your back arched more for him.
he leaned down and pressed his chest to your back, placing open mouthed kisses almost lovingly against your shoulder blades.
“shhh baby, let him hear how loud you get for daddy.”
his son looked like he might just hit someone but was not being able to do anything about it, clearly intimidated by his father like he always was.
“you're sick, both of you.”
jungkook laughed low, enjoying it a little too much.
“sick? nahh this is payback.”
jungkook glares, his jaw clenched, tongue poking the inside of his cheek hotly.
“for every time you lied to her, every time you made her cry… i'm making it right. you think you deserve her huh?”
you cried out from his words and also when the tip of his cock nudges on that spot inside you that makes your brain reduce to a mush, your hand scratching against the bed sheets, fisting it and pulling it until it bunches around you.
you both felt absolutely crazy and wild for each other.
“hahhngh jungkook!”
“that's it.” he praised, eyes locked on his son the whole time.
“tell him whose cock you're creaming on baby, loud enough for him to hear.”
your voice breaks, your body trembling uncontrollably.
ft. detective park sunghoon x criminal analyst reader
“park sunghoon, although only 25, is arguably korea's finest detective – a cold professional whose personal life remains the country's greatest enigma. y/n, an accomplished woman at korea's largest and most prestigious private firm, is her country's pride and joy, leaving no case unsolved. she has risen through the ranks to earn her title as the top criminal analyst. when another high-profile socialite is murdered and the korean authorities are left baffled, korea's finest pair are assigned to solve the case. y/n and sunghoon must work together to crack the case, without allowing their buried past– the unresolved tension and feelings– to interfere.”
byr (for the whole fic) : sfw (but implied suggestive content & mature themes), making out, mentions of sex, strong language, toxic dynamics, alcohol & drug use, murder, inaccurate depictions of crime scenes/investigations, detailed descriptions of crimes, drugging, stalking, harassment, slightly morally grey characters?, manipulation and blackmail, forced proximity, panic attacks/nightmares/guilt/spiraling, corruption, emotional misdirection, hidden motives, forced alliances, character deaths, exes to enemies to ??, somewhat slow burn, semi-proofread lol, lower case intended, possible grammatical errors.
pt1 wc : 14k [14449]
masterlist
park sunghoon, the bane of your existence, who also happened to be your flame and constant during your shared university days. your relationship lasted relatively “long” for such a toxic dynamic, but perhaps, under different circumstances– when neither of you were as broken, stressed, or desperate to be at the top of your departments– it might have been different.
the relationship wasn't always so strained. it started off with what most people would call “perfect couple goals,” a label that later came to haunt both you and sunghoon.
Y/N — 2020, november 22nd, monday.
it began when you were paired as partners. to teachers and lecturers, it made sense– two of the department's most competent students working together would yield an outstanding project. they were right. you were the perfect team, finishing each other's sentences, sharing the same thought process and goals.
during one late night study session in your apartment— while you were working on the said project, which involved solving and discussing a multi-layered, well-concealed murder case set up by the teachers– you discovered that he wanted to be a detective, and he learnt of your passion to become a criminal intelligence analyst.
“we’d be perfect working together; every detective needs their criminal analyst,” he said, smirking and wriggling his eyebrows. you only giggled in response.
months of growing closer over study sessions, shared interests, and definitely not dates led up to that fateful night. over some pasta in the restaurant across from his apartment-- which you believed had the best pasta, he popped the question.
“y/n, you've only grown alongside me these past few months, laughing with me, stressing with me, going out with me, and you have become a constant i can't bear to be without. my dependence on you is growing slowly but surely. would you honour me by letting me be your boyfriend?”
of course, you had said yes without hesitation. both of you were glowing. the dinner went smoothly as you continued to argue over trivial matters, basking in each other's presence late into the night.
park jongseong and sim jaeyun— better known as jay and jake, who often had to deal with your constant underlying tension, enthusiastically congratulated the two of you, “about time. if you hadn't done it by next week, I would have gone and told y/n myself,” jay joked.
your best friends, lee soojin and kim joomi, were also ecstatic, knowing he made you happy and was genuine in his actions towards you. they said it was worth all the time you had waited for him to ask you out.
word spread around campus, and you became known as the “it” couple. the kind of couple that screamed “this is a movie scene” to everyone who happened to be in their presence. he always waited for you outside the classes you didn't share, took your bag, and brought you coffee. when you shared classes, he always made sure to sit next to you.
he was your everything, and you were his. your similar thoughts and behavior made you extremely easy to read for each other.
everything was going well; you were always replacing each other as rank one in the department, then playfully bickering about it in the café outside the university.
it all changed in your senior year, when every grade mattered most, and every lost top spot meant a significant setback to achieving that picture perfect step into success. it didn’t help that both of you were extremely career-driven, “emotionally constipated,” as jake would say, determined, and maybe slightly egoistic (even though neither of you admitted it). it also didn’t help that both of you were stressed and soon began to take it out on each other.
soon the study sessions became a hellhole of arguments, a battlefield. over time, with pride and stubbornness, when neither of you yielded or apologised, the cracks in the relationship began to run too deep to ignore.
people whispered, watching the “it couple” drift apart. they watched every time sunghoon sat away from you in your shared lectures, every time he let you carry your own bag, every time he pointed out your mistakes in class and vice versa.
every party, instead of drifting towards each other, you gravitated towards opposite corners.
then came the jealousy and the control. you’d purposely speak to guys you knew he didn’t get along with, and he would talk to the girls who had a thing for him.
obviously, you’d fight it out, drunk out of your minds, back at home. it would always begin with one of you screaming at the other, then it would dim down to a cold, detached voice to mask the hurt. then you would always end up in bed the next morning.
this was the new routine. get piss ass drunk, scream, fuck and pretend nothing happened when you woke up.
you knew this was toxic, and so did he. but on the days when you were fine, albeit rare, you would cuddle, go café hopping, eat a bunch of ice cream, and laugh and bicker with each other as if your lives weren’t falling apart and you weren't tearing each other down.
his friends and yours begged you both to fix your relationship, do anything, take a break, heal, and then go back to each other. they even sat you down and lectured you for an hour, trying to make you understand– not that you both didn’t know, you just chose to ignore it– that yelling at each other while drunk and then fucking out the tension wasn't healthy and was really toxic.
you and sunghoon humoured them, promising you would take a break and come back once you had healed.
neither of you realised how difficult it would be, though. the both of you managed to last three days before you always ended up at his place, crying because you were stressed, crying because you missed him, crying over your fucked up mental state or he ended up at yours, venting his stress, or just looking for comfort or solace that he only seemed to find in your arms.
yet, the past two week of the “break” had been healthier than before, reminding you of how your relationship with hoon was before everything went south.
maybe you should thank your friends. you’re slowly starting to believe that a break was all you needed. so you were planning to tell hoon that maybe you both could get “back” together, or at least bring up the idea of getting “back” together soon.
but, of course, the universe had other ideas.
Y/N — 2021, october 19th, monday 20:13.
you go to his apartment and knock as you always did, and he usually opens it immediately. you usually went around this time of night. but the door didn’t swing open. you call him, thinking he might be in the washroom or something.
you watched the phone ring until it went to voicemail. “maybe he went out,” you whispered, turning to walk back home.
you
babe
i went to your house and it was locked, wya?
i miss you
you pressed send, then shove your phone back into the pocket of your jacket. you couldn’t help but wonder where he was. you missed him. you wanted to hug him, lie on his couch, sitting in between his legs, your head on his chest while you watch some drama you found.
when you reached home, you were still left on delivered. “maybe he’s just busy,” you whisper. you decide it wasn’t worth worrying about too much and head to bed.
you woke up the next morning, and still there was no reply from sunghoon. now you were starting to worry. you send another text.
you
babe? are you coming to class?
whatever, he will probably come to class. you could talk about it there, so you grabbd your bag and your keys and walked to campus.
you walked into class and sat in your usual spot. you watched as people walked in. your face brightened as your eyes met sunghoon’s dark brown ones. you make a motion to clear the seat next to you, only for him to walk past and take a seat away from you.
“what the fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. you turn and see him chatting with haeun, who very obviously had a crush on him.
jealousy began to fill your veins. and apparently your tear ducts as well, because you felt your eyes sting. you were upset, heartbroken, angry and jealous.
you ran out of class as soon as the teacher left, rushing to your dorm. you cried for hours, or so it felt, until you could not cry any more. you were upset, you thought things were getting better. you promised to choose each other, you promised and he had promised.
why was he doing this now? why could he not let you, let you both, be happy? all you wanted back was the old you, the old sunghoon, when everything was simple. what happened to you both? what was wrong with you?
you were just exhausted and fell asleep without meaning to. you woke to banging on your door and shouts from your friends, joomi and soojin. you made your way to the door and unlocked it.
“you look a mess, are you okay?” was the first thing they asked when you let them in.
“no, my head hurts, i feel dehydrated, i think my eyes are all puffed up and sunghoon’s being a bitch. he hasn’t replied to my messages, sat next to haeun, even though he knows she likes him. he hasn’t been replying to my texts, and we were healing! we were going back to our non-toxic and healthy relationship ways.” you paused, wiping your eyes before continuing.
“i’m sorry but neither of us really followed your ‘stay away from each other’ rule. it lasted only three days before we were going back to each other. but this time, it was normal, it was like how we were before– cuddles on the sofa, watching dramas, and barely any sex, okay? i don’t know what went wrong. he’s suddenly ignoring me again. we were fine the day before yesterday but he’s been weird to me all yesterday and has been ignoring me.”
“oh, my poor baby, he’s a bitch who does,'t get to decide your worth. did you check if he replied?” soojin asked. you shook your head and went to get your phone. you unlocked it to find a message from him. you opened it, without much hope, praying he had at least apologised.
your friends grew concerned when you dropped your phone in shock, their eyes widening as they saw your eyes fill with tears.
“what’s wrong?” joomi asked, concerned, but you couldn’t reply, so you simply motioned to your phone. they picked it up to read the texts from him.
hoonie <3
stop texting me
what i do is none of your business
we’re done
they hugged you, comforting you as you cried, telling you he wasn’t worth it, that he didn’t deserve you. the three of you sat in your lounge, the only sounds that filled the house were your cries and their soft words of comfort.
they stayed with you until you stopped crying, then ordered take out, telling you that you needed a “girls’ night” to take your mind off things. they ordered chinese food from the place you liked, turned on the tv, and watched some sitcoms.
by the time they left, your heart felt a little lighter. but as the night wore on, you couldn’t escape your thoughts. you weren’t able to sleep, the way he had cut you off so easily made you uneasy and so fucking angry.
there was no explanation– he just left you, and had probably blocked you as well. you decided to throw out all evidence of him in your life, at least physically – emotionally, it would still take a while. you started by deleting his number. you then gathered all the gifts he had given you and put them in a bag to throw away.
when the clock showed 03:00, you had a bag filled with everything you needed to throw out. you dragged it near the door and left it there so you could dispose of it out at a more acceptable time of day. the last thing left for you to do was to delete the pictures of the two of you. and lord, there were so many.
another half an hour and 351 pictures later, you had successfully removed all physical traces of sunghoon from your life. the thought gave you a small sense of satisfaction, a small twisted kind of revenge, especially because you had thrown out the hoodies and clothes that belonged to him. exhausted, you fell asleep with your phone still in hand, your heart trying to heal.
you woke up to your alarm, deciding to go to class because he was not worth messing up your grades for. you waddled to your mirror, only to gape at the bags under your eyes and how puffy they had become. you did your best to cover them with some makeup, threw on an outfit that made you look more confident than you felt, and walked to class – not before tossing the bag of gifts he had given you into the bin.
thankfully, your shared lecture with sunghoon was the last class of the day. you managed to get through the whole day without seeing his face, and you were glad. it gave you time to prepare yourself, at least mentally, to see him.
Y/N — 2021, october 20th, tuesday 14:29.
when the fateful class arrived, you were– hopefully– prepared for what was to come. you had walked in with only a minute to spare, as you had been talking to your professor from the previous class, and took note of how sunghoon, once again, was seated next to kim haeun.
taking a deep breath, you settled into your seat just in time before the teacher entered and began the class.
“okay everybody, today we will be looking at a case. i want everyone to take note of possible evidence or leads that may be required to solve this case. i want a detailed note of the possible suspects, their motives, and when they could have committed the crime. the videotape will include an interview with albis and their statements. you have forty five minutes,” the woman instructed, before turning to play the video on the screen.
the video featured a murder case in a highly rated massage clinic. it began by showing the profile of a renowned fitness and wellness influencer and instructor, who was known to frequently spend her weekends at the clinic. it was revealed that she was receiving large amounts of hate from people hiding behind “bot” accounts.
the entire class fell silent, everyone focusing on trying to catch the details. by the end of forty minutes, you were pleased with your analysis and decided that these were possible answers to solving the case.
the teacher announced for everyone to stop the analysis at the end of the forty five minute time frame. “mr park, please come to the front and explain your analysis.”
he stood, made his way to the front of the class, and began to speak. he gave a pretty detailed analysis of the scene, his deep voice smooth and confident.
“...then the people who send her hate under ‘bot accounts’ are our first targets, finding information through sourcing the mail ids and verification methods set up. about ten of these bot accounts shown in the material have similar texting styles, the same way they punctuate their sentences and the same way they put forward their message with the language and tone conveyed–”
“wrong. the bot accounts aren’t the only ‘biggest suspect’. there is a more concerning one tied to the case, hidden in plain sight– and all the more dangerous, and is most likely the key to the case.”
sunghoon only rolled his eyes and huffed at the interruption, knowing that voice all too well. "of course, she could only make this a competition,” he muttered faintly, displeased at his work being criticised.
“if you think so, miss y/n, please continue,” her teacher stated, inviting her to the front as well. you stood, walked to the front of the class, and spoke.
“mrs. han was the top wellness influencer, yes, but she also had someone she had surpassed mrs jang, who has a daughter who idolises mrs. han. the pair are best friends.”
“exactly. there is no mention or indication of bad blood between them, so why does this information matter whatsoever?” sunghoon stated firmly.
“yes, but if you observe the texts that mrs jang’s daughter, jang seorin, sent mrs han, you’ll see the subtle irritation towards her mother. it's evident when she texted, 'when are you coming home again? mom plans on sending me away, she thinks i shouldn’t focus on your wellness plans, she said she would even draft her own for me, just stop using yours. i think she’s just mad because everyone is obsessed with you. my school friends love you too’” y/n quotes, stressing on a few words to draw the class’ attention.
“this could mean her mother may harbor not so friendly feelings towards mrs han. moreover, the clinic is owned by kim’s wellness and co., a company known for its affiliation with and close regard for mrs jang. furthermore, she herself owns a significant portion of the stakes of the company ‘kim’s wellness and co.’ and is one of the largest investors in the company. it doesn’t help that she is very influential, and so is her husband, which makes it easy to provide information and hush the company’s workers and managers.” you explained, earning a satisfied nod from the teacher.
“yes, that’s exactly what i was looking for. the case requires reading between the lines. yes, what miss y/n said is not the only lead we can find in this case, as identified by mr park, but it might be a crucial lead whose involvement in the company is hidden in plain sight. the bot accounts also have similar patterns, as identified by mr park, and need closer examination.” she praised them, nodding in approval at their analysis, before continuing, “we shall continue this case study in the next class. good work everybody.”
sunghoon pushed past you as he made his way to his desk and to kim haeun, who wore an obviously fake pout on her face. he flashed a quick smile at her, one which made your heart burn because that smile was the one he used to reserve for you.
“they probably might get together soon,” you muttered quietly while packing your things. they left together, her hand holding his elbow and his jacket draped around her shoulders, giggling at something shared between them.
you never thought your shattered heart could break even more, but you felt the shards splinter further. you didn’t want to break down in the classroom, you shouldered your bag and rushed out as well.
the tears were threatening to fall when you heard a muffled groan. you turned, only to see sunghoon pushing his tongue down haeun’s throat, and her body pressed against his. haeun noticed your stare, gave you a wink, and pressed herself closer onto him, deepening the kiss.
a devastated gasp escaped your lips before you slapped your hand over your mouth and sprinted out of sight.
Y/N — 2021, october 20th, tuesday 16:13
you slammed the door the moment you entered, so hard that it rattled in its frame. you dropped to your knees and cried. cursing him, you were so loud, the neighbours could probably hear you but you couldn’t find it in you to care.
you spent a long time crying, draining yourself of all the energy you had. your cries softened into hiccups, your chest heaving as you struggled to regain your breath, your heart racing with anger and sadness.
you sat in silence for about five minutes; the only sounds in the room were your heavy breathing and your heart beating in your ears, and the only thing to accompany you was the swirl of thoughts in your head. the quiet air buzzed with tension, broken only when there was a knock at your door.
you made your way to the door, wiping your eyes and trying to look at least somewhat presentable. outside your door stood a tall man with the most gorgeous blonde hair and sharp features.
his eyes were filled with concern as he looked down at you. “hey, i’m your neighbour, nishimura riki, or as many call me, ni-ki. i don’t think we have formally met, but are you okay? i may or may not have heard your, uh—” he trailed off.
“oh shit– im sorry you heard that– and yes, i’m fine,” you replied, your cheeks and neck flushing a deep shade of red. he raised an eyebrow, placed his hands on his hips, and gave you a look that made you feel like a child cornered by her mother.
“okay, maybe i’m not fine but i will be—” you began, before being interrupted by a soft tut.
“then i’m coming in and helping you feel better. think of it as a friend helping a heartbroken twin,” ni-ki said, inviting himself in. you shut the door and guided him to your couch, picking up your bag, which you had left at the entrance when you had originally thrown it there upon entering the house.
“nice place,” he said, humming in approval as he dropped himself onto your couch. he pulled out two chocolate bars and a bag of m&ms and handed them to you. “to make you feel better,” he said.
you tried to refuse, but the look he gave you made you close your mouth and simply accept it. you tore open the wrapper and took a small bite of the chocolate bar.
you sat in a silence that, surprisingly, wasn’t awkward. then when you had fully calmed down and regained some energy, he asked, “are you all right? you can talk to me about it, you know? i don’t go to your university, and i’m not going to spread anything you tell me. full confidentiality,” he said, his face straight, though his lips twitched as a smile threatened to break through. ni-ki’s childish demeanour made you giggle.
“but for real, you can tell me, you know. i’m your homeboy now, and you aren’t getting rid of me,” he said, sinking further into your couch to prove his point. the sight made your heart feel a little warmer.
“okay, you’re going to regret saying that now. you make me feel like an older sister– you're so fucked now, i don't do takebacks.” you replied, patting his head, only for him to swat your hand away.
“HEY! i did my hair so beautifully., you might be grieving, but that doesn’t mean you can ruin my hair,” he said sternly, causing a small smile to appear on your tear-stained face.
“speaking of grieving, want to talk about it?” he asked softly. you nodded slowly and began to speak.
you told him how the relationship began to blossom, how people talked about it, how amazing and beautiful it was, and how the teachers viewed the both of you. then you spoke about how the changes became more and more evident, how you both of you became toxic for each other, how the both of you fought constantly, and how you would make up.
you then told him about jay, jake, joomi and how soojin told you both to take a break, explaining why and how it went. then finally reached the part where he suddenly cut you off. you also spoke about how he had been making out with haeun, probably an hour earlier.
you spoke for what felt like hours, just taking the weight of the break-up off your chest. ni-ki for the most part, ni-ki did not say anything; he just hummed, nodded, and occasionally shifted to face you properly. his expression conveyed what he did not say. when you finished, he let the silence fill the room, noticing that you needed a moment to collect yourself.
“that’s a lot, and he sounds like a piece of shit. he sounds like an immature fuck who cannot respect women. he doesn’t deserve you, and he’s not worth fucking up your dreams for. show him that he left behind a better and amazing woman for a campus rich hoe,” ni-ki said.
“okay, that's it. you need a special ni-ki care package, filled with ramen– i know this amazing place, all right? has the best ramen ever. AND ITS CHEAP. like, sir or ma’am, i’m a broke college student; thank you for making me feel included in getting five-star michelin level ramen,” he continued, pulling out his phone and starting to add all sorts of food to the menu.
“do you want me to call my other friends over– also my roommates, by the way– they are, uh, more emotionally intelligent when it comes to relationship problems. also, they can fund all this–” he huffed, breaking into a smile when he saw you laugh and agree.
“OKAY, stay put. DON’T move. i will be right back. if you plan on moving, i will tape you to the sofa– dont play with me bro. what if you get lost when i go and call them, dude? what am i supposed to tell the police? like, 'sir, i do not know where the pocket-sized woman went, please forgive me,'” he said as he got up and ran towards the door, a slight smirk– successfully getting under your skin.
when he left the apartment, the previously sombre and agitated atmosphere was replaced by a light-hearted ambience, lifted by the younger boy’s attitude and attempts to cheer you up.
nishimura riki returned in under two minutes with two boys, both slightly shorter than him. the first had an air of confidence, broad shoulders, and a simple boyish style, with slightly sagged sweatpants and sharp, cat-like eyes.
the second guy looked as if he had just stepped out of high school, with full, round cheeks and had a distinctly foxy appearance. his bubbly personality instantly seemed to infect the atmosphere of the room.
he sauntered over and collapsed on your couch, waving his hand for his two friends to introduce themselves. “hii, i’m kim sunoo! and he’s jungwon!" the cat-eyed man, now identified as jungown, waved when mentioned.
“it’s nice to finally meet you. i’ve seen you in the hallways. i’ve always thought you were so cool," the fox-like man, sunoo, said. you thanked him and beckoned both of them to sit.
the four of you ate and talked about random things. by the end of the night, you learnt that ni-ki was a dance major and the youngest amongst the three, sunoo was a fashion major, and jungwon was a business major, aiming to start his own company.
you discovered that you were the oldest of the group, being a year older than the eldest– sunoo. you found out they were all childhood friends, and you heard about their dreams and about their horrible love lives, to make you feel slightly better.
they helped you tidy up before closing the door and wishing you goodnight. their boyish charm and liveliness filled the whole flat with joy. it made you forget about your broken heart and sunghoon. you went to sleep that night, your heart happy and doing its best to heal.
Y/N — 2022, january 12th, wednesday.
the days flew by, and slowly you were healing. you spent the following months, moving on– gathering the pieces of your heart and gluing them back together. you spent your days in classes, internships, events. the nights clubbing, movie nights, eating out, partying or going to dinner with your friends– joomi, soojin and ofcourse your noisy, and nosey, neighbours– jungwon, sunoo and ni-ki.
it hadn’t taken you long to grow closer to the three boys, doting over the boys like an older sister. it had become a common sight to see them huddled on your couch, eating take out or eating something homemade that someone had prepared.
you still saw sunghoon with haeun. the only difference now was that they had announced their relationship publicly. people talked, speaking of how he had “downgraded” from you to the rich hoe, which always made you smirk, despite your attempts of trying to maintain civility. the biggest problem being your heart was still unforgiving.
the mere sight of him made your blood boil and your mood turn sour. fortunately, the feeling looked mutual. though, his reasons for his hatred was absolute bullshit, because he was the one who ended everything without giving you an explanation. the audacity, honestly.
shocking how a person can go from your comfort and your everything, to the one person you cannot stand to be in the same room with.
Y/N — 2022, may 20th, friday.
graduation day arrived faster than you could have imagined. you were matching dresses with joomi and soojin. it was honestly one of the happiest days of your life. you were thriving, and your dress was a gorgeous, floor length dress. the satin dress, in a beautiful deep blue, was simple yet elegant, paired together with a shiny, simple pearl choker and white heels.
you graduated as one of the top students in the university's department. you couldn’t help but shed a few tears here and there, happy to have completed the journey and upset that you were now moving on to a much more serious part of your life.
Y/N — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 16:35 [the present]
you drove to the office after being called in for an emergency meeting by none other than your boss and friend, lee heeseung. the red haired man took you under his wing when you first joined the company. your friendship with him bloomed as a result of your late night convenience store runs, your love for ramen and– obviously– your work which often led you to stay late into the night.
a sibling-like relationship began to bloom between the two of you. hence why you met his girlfriend at the time and now wife– abby, a sweet, cheeky woman who also adored you and treated you as if you were her sister too.
of course, he would not call you in for an unimportant case, so you knew it was serious. it had been a few years since you graduated, and you had worked your way up the ranks within your company.
you landed an excellent opportunity to work for korea’s largest private firm and rose through the ranks quite quickly. you had also been given the chance to help solve a couple of cases for other countries as well.
you had become something of a sensation, also came to be known as a popular bachelorette whose instagram following had grown significantly, despite not being an influencer, thanks to your sleek, modern, and aesthetic content accessible to the general public on your account. your lifestyle and dedication made you quite the role model for the younger generation aspiring to pursue careers in challenging fields filled with crime and often gruesome scenes.
upon arriving, you settled into your usual seat in the meeting room. you nodded in greeting towards heeseung, who flashed a quick smile in response before turning to the room, which was beginning to fill.
“thank you for coming. i know today was supposed to be a day off, but urgent matters must be brought to attention. we shall begin shortly; i am waiting for—” he stopped as he heard the meeting room door push open.
the man who entered was none other than park sunghoon. although only 25, sunghoon had already gained a reputation as arguably being korea's finest detective – a cold professional whose personal life remains the country's greatest enigma.
it wasn’t uncommon to see comments such as “the modelling industry is lucky he chose a different path” or “korea’s finest man and we don’t even know if he’s off the market” under any post on his instagram, in articles about him, or in related news related to his latest case.
the knowledge of your mutual hatred wasn’t a secret, but it wasn’t public knowledge either. only those who had witnessed it personally, or heard of it through others or yourself, knew about it. he did not acknowledge you in any way and neither did you.
“sorry, traffic was bad,” was the only explanation he gave before sitting down on the empty chair opposite to you. you had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes. you shot heeseung a look, and he gave you a helpless, tight lipped smile.
“okay, since everybody is here, let us begin. as you can see, mr park has joined us today,” he paused before continuing to introduce your team– those who filled the meeting room. “and of course, ms kang,” he fniished.
“the reason we have called you here is because of a case the korean authorities themselves have placed upon us,” he began as he walked towards his laptop. he gestured towards the slides displayed on the screen.
there were pictures of five well respected socialites who are a part of korea’s elite. everyone in the room recognised the individuals.
“four of these five socialites– jang harin, choi eunwoo, yoon taeyang and kim donghyun– have been found dead in the last seven months, and the fifth– cho dasom– has been reported missing by her 29 year old son, cho doyun. she has been missing since attending the gala in gangnam-gu on thursday, 20th november, which was two days ago. now, the government is unable to solve the case. they have identified possible suspects but have made no progress without any proof or viable leads. we have received a case file, including detailed descriptions and photographs of the scenes, which we will examine later.” heeseung paused.
“are the cases connected? why are they all in one case file? last we heard, there was no connection. we know of the murders of the four and have been trying to figure it out. and to my knowledge, mr park has been working on jang harin’s case, where as miss kang was supposed to help the authorities with the cases of kim donghyun and choi eunwoo,” a man in the room said.
“yes, the entire case has been given to us by the authorities. and the pattern involves victims going missing from events they were attending, bouquets being left at their doors exactly a week prior, and each victim receiving calls from an unknown number in the nights before their disappearance. the number of calls from the unknown number coincided with the order in which they were murdered. in addition, the manner in which they were killed– no bloodshed, tactfully and cleanly done– suggests a particular method.
the styles seem similar yet different. of course, we may be wrong, but it is a possibility we cannot rule out. mr park, as for why you are here, the authorities have decided it is appropriate for you to work with miss kang.
they believe this is a case best solved by the most capable. you have one of the highest clearance rates, and so does she. you will have everything you need; meeting rooms and studies will be provided. you can work in either of your private studies– miss kang’s is in this building. but remember, you are in this together.” heeseung spoke, placing a subtle emphasis on the “work together,” warning you to maintain civility.
“that is all for today’s meeting. mr park and miss kang, you are welcome to stay. my office is on the top floor, room 18. If you require anything, call me. miss kang the case files have been placed in your study; you are welcome to go there. mr park, the rough details have been emailed to you. if you would like a copy of the case there is a printer opposite to miss kang’s study in the conference room.” he said before grabbing his files and laptop and walking out.
the room was quiet, an underlying tension began to fill the room. “miss kang, long time no see,” he spoke, voice calm, but a hint of venom laced his voice. “like-wise mr park.” you said, shooting him a glare.
“let’s not make this difficult shall we? i don’t have time for your bullshit. let’s get this straight, we need to work on this case, mr park. It’s dragging korea’s reputation down. don’t make everything harder than it needs to.”
he smirks, “of course not. i’ll be on my best behavior” his voice dripping with sarcasm. “well darling, lead the way. we’ve got a case on our hands. time is ticking.” he says, gesturing towards the door.
you scoffed and couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the nickname and walk towards the door. “keep up park, the case won’t wait for anyone.”
his smirk didn’t fade, only grew as he matched your stride, “oh i intend to, make sure you don’t give me a reason to slow down.” his voice low, amused but a hint of something sharper threaded through it.
“the case isn’t just about you darling,” a beat passed. “my reputation’s on the line and possibly the lives of the remaining elites. “and i’m not letting anyone ruin what i worked to build, hm?” he said as he entered the lift alongside you.
“wouldn’t dream of it, park.” you said, as the doors of the lift shut.
SUNGHOON — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 17:00
sunghoon walked behind y/n into her study, and was hit with a wave of warm air causing the stiffness in his shoulders to leave his body. the study was exactly like her, the y/n he knew. he lost the privilege of calling her his years ago, when he fucked it up by telling her to leave him alone.
he took a deep breath in, he didn’t want her guessing what he was thinking, she always could before, she knew what he wanted before he said it. she hated him now. of course she would. after everything he did. the click of her heels brought him out of his thoughts.
the study was clean and minimalistic, just how you– the both of you– liked things. dark colours, chic and minimal. black, tinted windows and black shutters for privacy– much needed for jobs like yours– and a large tv screen. bookshelves filled with books and files, and occasionally picture frames and potted plants were placed against the walls.
a large desk with a glass table top was placed in the center of the room, the black board you used to map out your thoughts– he assumed– was placed right behind it. a black file was placed right in the center.
sunghoon watched as you sat on your chair, watching as the wheels of the chair push y/n slightly further away from him as he dragged the chair opposite to her. she opened the file which contained the information about the case– a stack of papers lying inside.
she looks up, into his eyes with her eyes sharp and said, “you have the file of jang harin right? i have the files for kim donghyun and choi eunwoo,” as she got up and walked to one of the cabinets before picking up two files.
sunghoon hummed in response, pulling out a file from his prada handbag, along with the lab reports that were delivered to his office the morning before he reached the building. he placed the file down, and pulled out the file containing the details of the other victims towards him.
he flipped through the details before pushing his chair back and standing up with a heavy sigh, “i’m going to go get these printed out,” he said, “i want a copy of this. it’ll be helpful.”
swiftly turning on his heels, his shoes clicked against y/n’s wooden floor as he pulled the door open to exit her study.
Y/N — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 17:30
unghoon had been oddly quiet from the time he entered your study. you couldn’t place a finger on why. he looked deep in thought, but it most probably would have been the case. because what other matters could he be worried about. from what you heard, he’s single and has been for the past two years after he and haeun broke up in the summer of 2023.
you were curious, of course, because you did want to know why they broke up but you didn’t want to ask– not wanting to give sunghoon that satisfaction of having “kept up” with his life. you knew heeseung and sunghoon were friends, but you didn’t want to ask. you knew he wouldn’t tell you.
you brushed it off, and flipped through the cases. you picked up the file sunghoon had placed on the table, flipping it open. jang harin, cause of death was overdose. authorities first assumed it to be a suicide, but her daughter said she wouldn’t– and so did the general public believe– because jang harin, was a well know psychologist.
she was known for helping her patients. she was a very kind woman in the public’s eyes. she was very open about seeking help, if one had any mental concerns. so why would she take those pills? especially, at such high dosage? something wasn’t right.
you set her case file aside, and take a look at yoon taeyang’s file. a travel influencer, son of yoon boem-seok. still young, only thirty-three years old. his family were one of those with new money, but still powerful enough to have quite a few enemies.
he had quite a few haters, but it’s normal for any influencer and it wasn’t anything that caught the eye. maybe it was related to his fathers enemies? you made sure to note down all your suspicions, assumptions and thoughts.
“always one to write down everything, aren’t we y/n?” sunghoon’s voice comes from behind you in a low drawl. he was close enough for you to feel the warmth radiating from his skin. how had you not realized when he re-entered the room?
“miss y/n, i understand that i am a good-looking man, but it doesn’t mean you stare. it’s rude and unprofessional” he smirked mockingly, his voice filled with a cocky arrogance that made your fists clench.
“professionality? quite rich coming from you isn’t it, hm?” you replied, trying your best to not let the man he successfully got under your skin.
“did you get the printouts?” you asked as he pulled a chair to sit beside you. without waiting for his response, “i was looking at the file of jang harin. there is something more to it. i didn’t thoroughly examine everything, but she has no medical records of anxiety or depression so it doesn’t make sense why she would be taking it.” you said.
“yes, i’ve already sent an email to her husband asking for any medical history and i have scheduled an interview with him.” sunghoon spoke. he pulled out his laptop and opened the email, to show you. alongside it, he opened another folder beside the email and gestured for you to look into it.
pulling the device closer to you, you began to read the emails and files he had presented to you– making a mental note of things you would need to check-in on later. beside you, sunghoon opens kim dasom’s file and begins to flip through it. occasionally pausing at certain pages– as if mentally making a note of something– clicking his tongue before moving on. he pulled out a flash drive.
he turned to you, “where can i plug this in? it is the footage from the gala in gangnam-gu.”
you pointed at the desktop on you table, before muttering “it’s connected to the tv,” and continuing to look at the files on his laptop. he plugs it in, and plays the video. you turn your attention from the files to the video playing on the screen.
the video played footage of cho dasom’s last appearance. the video didn’t bring anything out of the ordinary. paparazzi, other people, her son surrounded her. she had a drink in her hand. that looked like wine. she walked around, spoke with many other influential people. her hands and neck were adorned with pearls. weird.
“wait, park, pause it.” you spoke as you moved to stand beside him, playing the clip back.
“one of her bracelets is missing here. after her m.i.a moment and her drink looks a little bit off, or is it just me?”
sunghoon put them side by side for comparison and zoomed in. “yeah, her bracelet is missing. i don’t think any brand miss cha wears would be so easily removable either so she might have removed it herself?” he spoke, “and as for the drink, i think it is a new one, but i’m we should try looking for pictures and videos of the night for closer evidence.”
you hum in approval. the two of you research and make notes and points of possible leads, those to question, who to search, what to look for and everything possible. you bring out the other case files, trying to look for something to connect them, you knew they were connected, a gut feeling as one would say. but a “gut feeling” means nothing without proof.
Y/N — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 18:15
the sky began to darken as the two of you worked. the quiet noise of the a/c in your study, pages of the case files flipping, the soft clicks of the laptop keyboard and mouse as the two of you worked were the sounds heard for hours, the silence only occasionally being interrupted by either of you to bring something to the others attention or the clearing your throats.
the quiet was interrupted by a call on sunghoon’s phone. he pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the caller id, and his face hardened. he answered the call with a quiet urgency– pushing his chair back and making his way to the door, his shoes clicking against the wooden floor as he pulled open the door of your study and let it slam shut behind him.
“the fuck?” you mumbled under your breath before deciding he wasn’t worth your time and continued looking over your work. you got five minutes of alone time before the door burst open and sunghoon walked in. “what–” you began to say in shock, slightly jumping and the loud sound.
“i’m leaving,” was all the man offered, his brows furrowed, and the tips of his ears red as he packed his.
“okay. when and where are you meeting me tomorrow, and–” you tried telling him, much to vain as he sighed, “god, always such a pushover y/n. stop being so fucking irritating. i’ll email you.” he spat out, his eyes filled with anger, as he turned on his heel and walked out.
you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the man’s attitude. he hadn’t even helped put away anything and just stormed out with a “i’ll email you” and how dare he call you a fucking pushover. you were seething. you were civil, all you did was fucking ask him a simple, simple, question and he had the audacity to call you a pushover.
you packed your bags, cleaned the study and made your way to mr lee, your boss and friend’s, office.
you knock on the door of his office, twisting the handle and pushing the door open with his approval to come in.
heeseung was on the phone when you entered and sank into his couch, dropping your bag beside your feet. you kicked off your heels and folded your legs beneath your body, opting to open your phone to keep yourself entertained.
“yes, mr kim, i understand. i shall call you back when i have more updates,” heeseung said, replying mr kim.
placing his phone down, he turned his chair to face you, “so? how was it?”
“bro, do not get me started. he is such a fucking prick. i still don’t understand how he is your best-fucking-friend. he makes my blood boil so fucking much.” you huffed out.
a smile threatened to form on the older man’s face, as he asked “that bad huh? and i thought you would get along fine”
“that’s rich. i think you overestimated him. he’s so fucking annoying bro. i’m genuinely going to beat his ass one day. if he’s dead, you know who it was. and don’t report me to the government.” you spoke in one continuous breath.
“woah, there tiger. slow down, now. deep breaths, yeah? don’t want you bursting a nerve in my office. it’ll be fine y/n, don’t stress it. you’ll warm up to each other soon enough.” he snickers.
tiger was something heeseung began to call you when the two of you started to become close. when you asked why, he just shrugged, tilted his head and said, “you’re like a tiger. brave, fierce, independent, and efficient.”
you were about to retort back when heeseung’s phone rang, he smiled, motuhing “abby” before answering.
you resort to using your phone, not wanting to listen into their conversations because you respected their privacy, you open a message from the groupchats with your friends.
you smiled, skating your head in slight disapproval. you could never really say no to them, they always had a soft spot in your heart.
“what’s the smile for, tiger?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.
“the kids convinced me to go out for dinner” you said, trying to sound annoyed but the shine in your eyes gave you away.
“you do know those three have you wrapped around their finger right?”
“oh shut up hee, you’re equally as compliant for your wife.”
the man only smirked, raising his hands up, “that’s my wife, bro. what did you even expect? what time do you have to go meet them”
you check the watch on your wrist, before saying “shit, i gotta leave now if i want to make it there by 7 30”
grabbing your bags, you wave a quick goodbye to your boss, texting your friends that you would be leaving now and would be slightly late.
Y/N — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 19:35
the door swung open to reveal a woman dressed in all black. she smiles, pulling you in for a hug. “y/n! it’s been so long, how are you? i can’t stay long though, sorry i have plans with the girls.”
you smiled. “navi, don’t worry about it. we’ll get coffee together sometime. busy schedules, i get it. don’t stress about it, yeah?”
jungwon got up from his spot on the couch, a can of beer in hand, walked over and greeted you, then turned towards his girlfriend. not wanting to third wheel, again, you decided to walk towards the couch, where your other two friends were.
shrugging off your coat, you draped it over the arm of the chair, placed your bag near the leg, and made yourself comfortable. “what’s on the menu, sun? ki? i'm absolutely fucking starving,” you asked, reaching forawrd to grab a can of beer for yourself as well.
“ramen, some chicken, corn, sushi and beer obviously,” sunoo replied, grabbing a piece of chicken from the plate ni-ki had just set down.
jungwon came and took the seat opposite you. “how come you were at work today? i thought you had the day off?”
“i did, but heeseung called us in for an important meeting, a new case. a large one” you said, sighing.
“and? what’s the problem? normally you’re really excited about this kind of thing– like bouncing off the walls kind of excited,” jungwon asked.
“they merged the case i was originally working with a few others. yeah, they are similar and there are chances they are connected, but we aren’t sure because it hasn’t been touched upon. and god, i’m cursed! they assigned me to work with park sunghoon out of all people, park sunghoon!” you spat out, as if the name was distasteful to you.
you rant a while to them, before finally calming down.
“maybe it’ll be good. you might sort things out, you know. it wouldn’t hurt? you’re really close with his best friend too,” jungwon, always one for peace, said.
you scoff, opting to finish off your drink instead of replying. a heaviness began to settle over the room.
“uhh, is this a good time to say that i accidentally followed my crush while stalking her—” ni-ki blurted out. and just like that, the heaviness disappeared, and made room for a more electrified atmosphere.
groans and a very noisy bunch of teasing filled the air.
“dude, how did you manage to do that?” sunoo asked, exasperation evident in his voice.
the younger man goes on a huge rant,with his hands flying everywhere, ears turning red defending himself and insisting on how it was a “slip of a thumb”.
and just like that, the topic of sunghoon was forgotten. the “kids” always made you feel at home. it reminded you of your university days, except now you were older, had stable careers. sunoo and jungwon had girlfriends, and ni-ki was flying out of the country every now and then for performances, creating choreographies that make you feel like a proud mom who’s watching.
SUNGHOON — 2025, november 22nd, saturday 21:04
he sat alone under the dim lights as he watched the woman move further away, after she excused herself to the restroom. the argument still replaying in his head. he grabs the glass of wine, and finishes the last bit.
why does she always have to appear at the worst times? he knew they had a deal, but it was beginning to interrupt him every time he started to feel better, happier, freer.
and it wasn’t just her, it was also the memories she dragged along with her. the money. the manipulation. and of course the obsession she always had with him.
god, even a second in her presence made him regret everything. made him remember and made the guilt he’s so carefully tried to hide come clawing back up.
but he couldn’t let slip, he wouldn't. he had to keep his word.
for her.
because it’ll always be her. even when she doesn’t know it. especially because she couldn't know it.
a notification from his pocket pulls him out of his daze.
it was heeseung, reminding him to text y/n about the details and making a snide comment about his abrupt leave from the office.
how does he know about that? he thought. the answer came almost immediately. y/n. they were friends, of course she would tell him.
how professional. complaining about him to her and– now technically– his superior.
he set his phone face down after replying with a quick thumbs up, as he saw the woman approach. he cursed slightly under his breath, before taking a deep breath to compose himself. he plastered on a smile, before refilling both the glasses of wine.
Y/N — 2025, november 24th, monday 09:27
your head was pounding. the lack of sleep from the night before was getting to you, your eyes burning as you tried to focus on the road ahead. you regretted letting joomi convince you to go clubbing with her. you had soup before leaving but, right now, all you so badly needed coffee.
the drive to sunghoon’s office wasn’t too bad. it was only an extra ten minutes or so. he had an appointment scheduled with jang kangdae, jang harin’s husband and then later her daughter.
parking your car, you rush towards the lift, knowing you’d get an earful from sunghoon if you were more than a minute late.
fiddling with the cuffs of your shirt, you’re greeted by the door of the lift sliding open. inside was none other than park sunghoon himself.
you step inside in silence, moving to stand beside him. silence filled the space, but it wasn’t awkward. neither of you made an effort to greet each other. your eyes scan his figure, a bag from a cafe in his hands. it smells good. like comfort and calming.
the door slides open, interrupting you. he walks out first, without sparing you a glance and you follow, because you don’t have a choice. it’s his office and you’ve never been. “talk about zero hospitality manners,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. he stops in front of a door, and pauses for a second before moving in.
he was waiting for you, you could tell, a hand in the pocket of his pants, shoulders wide. how he always waits.
when he sensed you beside him, he spoke without looking at you, busying himself in setting up his things. “this is my office, we’re going to interview mr jang there,” he gestured behind him without turning. “he shall be here in 15 minutes.”
he pulled out a coffee and placed it near your bag, before grabbing another one and walking outside.
you grab the coffee, a small smile spreading across your face without your consent.
taking a sip, you relish the feeling of warmth and comfort it brought you, the sleep in your eyes slowly fading. you move to unpack your bags, and remove your headphones.
on the fifth sip, you realised this was your regular order. the one you’ve drank since you were eighteen, fresh in college.
with five minutes to spare, you head out. a tiny notebook and pen in your coat pocket, coffee still in hand. you join sunghoon in the room, taking a seat beside him. you don’t thank him for the coffee and he doesn’t expect one.
instead, you ask “do you think he has any involvement in the case? it’s common knowledge they were never on the best of terms.”
“always a possibility, can’t put it past people. he should be here soon,” he spoke as he checked his watch.
a sharp knock interrupted the both of you. a woman, the receptionist– you recalled– peeps through, “mr. jang is here,” pushing the door in and moving away so the man could walk in.
mr jang, was a tall man with broad shoulders and a stern face dressed in a well-tailored black suit. from the looks of it, he looked like a man who knew no fun.
sunghoon stood, gesturing to him to take a seat across the table. meanwhile, you moved to take a seat slightly behind sunghoon, still present but not in the spotlight. after all, interviews were his speciality, you were here to listen and observe.
“i do not wish to take too much of your time, mr jang. i’d appreciate your cooperation. this is my partner, ms kang, she shall join us today,” you nod in greeting as sunghoon began, there was no warmth or hospitality in his voice– just cold and straightforward. ‘so this was how he earned his reputation’, you thought.
jang kangdae gave a short nod in your direction as he clasped his hands on the table, waiting for sunghoon to continue.
sunghoon folded his hands on the table, his gaze fixed on the man across from him. “this conversation will be recorded, and with your consent i’d like to begin with some basic questions.” jang kangdae gave a curt nod.
“how would you describe your relationship with your wife?”
kangdae paused, swallowed. “fine.”
you almost rolled your eyes, men and their lack of explanations pissed you off. sunghoon leaned slightly backwards, “fine?”
“we argued, then we made up. as one does.”
“what kind of arguments?” he pressed further.
he cracked his knuckles, “family matters and work,” kangdae replied, though it seemed like he wanted to add on, he remained silent.
sunghoon took a breath, “the public believes ms jang and yourself were not on good terms, why is that?”
“why do people talk the way they do?” he replied, though you noticed his fist clenched, ever so slightly– for a split second before they went back to its “relaxed position”. sunghoon noticed too.
he chose to not comment on it and instead moved ahead, “did you know your wife was receiving calls from an unknown number?”
“we do everyday, it’s not a shocking occurrence.” the silence stretched.
mr jang checked his watch, and shifted slightly.
“how would you describe your wife’s behavior the week before her death?”
“i was out of town when she was found dead, before i left she was fine.” he tapped his his foot on the ground. odd, you thought– not his statement. the reactions, the responses.
“did she seem anxious in any ways?”
“no.” sunghoon tilted his head slightly. studying the man across from him, he tapped his thumb once against his finger.
“no changes in sleeping habits? eating habits? stress levels?” his voice remained level.
“no.” he stopped.
“mr jang,” sunghoon repeated, leaning forwards clasping his hands again, “your wife was receiving repeated calls from an unknown number, and according to people, her co-workers, friends and your daughter, she had been acting differently in the days leading up to her death.”
kangdae's eyebrows furrowed. “i wasn’t home enough to recognise.”
“so you knew nothing of your wife’s behavior?”
a flash of irritation passed through mr jang’s face, before smoothening it over again. “i've already answered your questions.”
from beside sunghoon, you noticed it again– his fingers pressed into his palm. too hard.
“you have been answering your own questions mr jang, not mine.” sunghoon said, his voice dropping slightly.
for the first time since entering the room, kangdae shifted uncomfortably. “i've answered everything you've asked.”
“have you?” sunghoon asked calmly before continuing, “you say your relationship with your wife was fine, yet the public believed otherwise. you say she behaved normally, but you weren't home enough to notice changes. you say you knew nothing about the calls.” kangdae looked at him, eyes narrowing, foot tapping silently against the floor once before stopping abruptly.
“you seem to know very little about your wife, mr jang.” sunghoon spoke.
kangdae's expression hardened. “you don’t know what you’re talking about.” and from beside sunghoon, you sat a little straighter. because there it was again. fingers pressing into his palm, but this time, his shoulders tightened too.
he took a breath, unclenching his hand. “what do you want me to say,”
“i need you to answer my questions honestly. so i’ll repeat myself once more. was your wife anxious? or showing signs of depression? ”
he clenched his jaw, “i don’t think so, she was smiling at my daughter. i wouldn’t know why she was taking pills. hell, i don’t even know how they got there.” a slight pause. “she never even tol—” he paused, eyes widening a fraction, before he cleared his throat.
sunghoon’s eyes narrowed. you looked up from your notes. mr jang, shifted slightly and checked his watch, “i have a meeting to attend. let’s continue this later.”
“alright, i’ll be in touch with your secretary.” sunghoon said, pushing his chair back. you stand beside him as you watch mr jang walk out of the room.
the tension in the room does not ease. you turn on your heels and walk out, moving to sunghoon’s office.
you pull your laptop open. not bothering to sit, you start pulling files and the notes from her case. you do not turn as you hear the door open.
“i’ve asked mrs kim to send a request for the interview of ms jang to be pushed earlier.” he says, walking in front of you, taking a seat at his desk, loosening his tie.
you look up, your eyes locking with his. “we need to find out what he was going to say.” sunghoon leaned back in his chair, watching you for a moment. “you noticed it too, right?”
“i noticed a lot of things, park. be specific.” you say before moving your gaze back to your laptop. “his hand.” he said. “yeah, i did. he kept tensing whenever we mentioned mrs jang.”
humming, he loosened his watch and placed it on his desk. you could feel his gaze on you. “and?” he asked.
“and?” you ask. looking up to meet his gaze.
“people do strange things when they're nervous.” but he doesn’t sound confident. narrowing your eyes, you ask “you don't believe that?” the corner of his mouth twitched, he replied “no. not when they have things to hide.”
“what, so you’re saying he did it?”
the reply came quickly. “no,” you breathe in, rolling your eyes slightly. was he allergic to replying properly?
“do you think he had something to do with it?” you pressed further. “maybe. can’t be sure yet.” he replied. he was doing this on purpose. clipped responses when he knows you hate them.
“i emailed about the permit to look at her office.” he said, switching the topic.
“good. let me know when they get back.” you replied. a comfortable silence filled the room as the two of you worked.
SUNGHOON — 2025, november 24th, monday 11:33
sunghoon grabbed his watch from the table, staring at the arms move. he placed it down beside his laptop. running his hand through his hair, he watched the woman in front of him. she was working, reading the case files and statements from everyone who provided them and comparing them to the transcript of the interview with kangdae.
he didn’t like working with a partner, but this case forced him to work with her. she worked hard, he couldn’t deny that. y/n always worked till she was exhausted to her bones, she’d work no matter what condition she was in. she’d do anything to get the answers she thought she needed. and was very, very fucking infuriating.
his attention was drawn to his work by a ping on his laptop. it was his secretary forwarding an email of ms jang agreeing to meet at one instead of three.
“ms jang agreed to meet with us at one.”
y/n hummed, not sparing him a glance. he resisted the urge to scoff. “we should probably head for lunch.”
“you can go,” she replied, without really listening to him.
he rolled his eyes, “suit yourself,” he spoke. wearing his watch, he grabbed his wallet and phone, and walked out.
stubborn woman, he muttered under his breath. i hope she starves, he thought.
his phone buzzes in his pocket as he enters the lift. it’s a call. he answers without looking at the contact. only one person would call him at this time.
he brought the phone to his ear, and a sweet, sultry, “hey love,” greeted him.
Y/N— 2025, november 24th, monday 12:09
pushing your chair back, your stomach grumbled. you hadn’t eaten anything since– shit, you hadn’t had any real food since her pre-clubbing. that was like more than twelve hours ago.
you shut your laptop, and walked out of sunghoon’s office, shutting the door behind her. the queue wasn't too long. thankfully.
you stared up at the menu absentmindedly, still half focused on the case. jang kangdae's expression and, of course, the slip up.
“you've been standing here for two minutes.” you turned. park sunghoon, obviously. who else would it be? and why the fuck was he everywhere?
“i was thinking.” he smirks, “didn’t know you had it in you”
you narrowed your eyes and scoffed, you ask “aren't you supposed to be eating?”
“i am.” he replied. only then did you notice the tray in his hand. you blinked. then stared at it. placing the menu down, you turn towards him entirely.
“is that my order?” you asked, eyebrows raised. “no,” he replied immediately, casually. “one of them is.”
he turned around, walking to a table and setting the tray down. your feet followed before you willed them to.
“you've got twenty minutes before we leave,” he said flatly, as you took the chair in front of him
“i didn't ask you to buy me food.” you said, annoyed, but grateful nonetheless. he couldn’t know that though.
the reply didn’t come fast. he opened the ramen container, took a bite, chewed, then decided you were worth a reply. “i didn't ask you to starve.”
“you're acting weird.” you said as you pulled the pasta plate towards you, blowing on the steamy dish before taking a bite.
without looking at you, he replied, “eat.”
Y/N— 2025, november 24th, monday 12:32
the rest of lunch passed in a comfortable silence. comfortable enough that it irritated you. sunghoon scrolled through something on his phone between bites of ramen while you finished the pasta in front of you.
every now and then, you'd catch him glancing at his watch. exactly twenty minutes later, he stood.
“let's go.” you stared up at him. “wow. ever the gentleman, aren’t we?”
he grabbed his phone from the table and just walked away. you rolled your eyes, making your way out of the restaurant behind him. he was waiting for you at the lift. you narrowed your eyes. “you're so fucking irritating.”
“eat faster next time.” he said, smirking, not even sparing you a glance.
“how do girls even think you’re worth their time. if they met you they’d hate you”
“mhm.”
by the time the two of you returned to the office, mrs kim had already informed you that ms jang had arrived earlier than expected. you adjusted your blazer as you stepped out of the lift, eyes moving towards the waiting area.
she looked beautiful, despite her puffy eyes and anxious demeanor. she sat with both hands wrapped around a glass mug of coffee, leg bouncing slightly against the floor. dark circles sat beneath her eyes and despite being dressed neatly, she looked exhausted.
when she heard footsteps, she looked up immediately. hope. people always looked like that. and it pained you. she reminded you of you.
sunghoon stopped beside you, following your line of sight towards the woman. “ms jang?” he called.
she stood almost immediately, gripping the mug tighter before smiling slightly. “yes.” up close, she looked really exhausted. her eyes were drooping, as if sleep had abandoned her days ago.
“i’m detective park sunghoon, and this is kang y/n, a criminal analyst.” he introduced, gesturing briefly towards you. you offered her a small smile. “thank you for coming.”
“no, thank you,” she replied quickly, almost cutting you off. “i just– i want to know what happened to my mother.” there it was again. the hope. you hated it, made you feel responsible.
sunghoon opened the door to the interview room, letting her walk in first. she paused for a second, hesitating, before entering. you followed behind, taking your usual seat slightly behind sunghoon.
jang jisoo’s eyes landed on you. “you'll be here too, right?” the question caught you off gaurd, you gave her a small smile. “of course.”
sunghoon waited until she settled into her seat before speaking. “thank you again for coming, ms jang. i understand this isn't easy.” you could tell this was going to be different from the previous interview. he was gentler, not obviously, never obviously. his gaze became a little softer, his tone lost the coldness, instead developed a brotherly tone.
jisoo shook her head slightly, wrapping both hands around the paper cup in front of her. “it's okay.” it wasn't and you could tell.
sunghoon opened the file in front of him. “i'd like to ask a few questions regarding your mother and the week leading up to her death.” she only nodded. he let the silence fill before he spoke again.
“how would you describe your mother?”
for the first time, her expression softened. relaxed, as if she was recollecting happy memories.
jisoo’s eyes dropped to the table. “she was busy,” you looked up. busy wasn't the answer you had expected. “but she was kind,” she continued quietly. “really kind, you know? she always made time for people who needed her.” another pause. “sometimes too much of her time.”
sunghoon glanced up briefly. “too much?”
“she cared a lot about others.” she said simply. but her eyes, they implied something else. something heavier.
sunghoon didn't say anything immediately, he let her breathe, process and recollect. “can you explain what you mean by that?”
“my mother— she always wanted to help people. sometimes she'd come home really late because a patient needed her, or she'd answer calls during dinner because she thought it was important.” she smiled, but it wasn’t happy. “i used to complain about it when i was younger.”
the smile faded almost immediately. “but i guess i got used to it.”
your heart ached for her, both her parents being busy meant she got little to no time with them. you snuck a glance at sunghoon, his face remained impassive.
“did anything change during the week before her death?”
her fingers tightened around the mug, her jaw tightened. “yeah,” a simple answer. but very different from her husband’s.
“did she seem distracted?” sunghoon asked, lighty. jisoo nodded mutely.
“distracted how?” he asked.
jisoo frowned. “she'd look at her phone a lot,” she started, then hesitated. sunghoon waited for her to continue. “and, i don’t think she was sleeping properly either.”
sunghoon leaned back slightly in his chair. “was she worried about something?” she didn’t reply immediately. she shifted, her hand trembled slightly. “i thought it was work at first.” you looked up from your notes, watching her again.
“at first?” sunghoon asked, his tone shifting to something close to softness.
her eyes lifted breifly. “my mother was always busy, so stress wasn't really unusual.” she rubbed her thumb against the handle of the mug absentmindedly. “but she'd keep checking her phone, and whenever she did, she'd look–” she frowned slightly, breathing in.
silence filled the room. sunghoon gave her space, letting her compose herself before she continued.
“she looked scared. my mother is a lot of things. but she wasn’t scared. she is the bravest woman i know.” silence filled the room once more. jisoo sat straight, but she seemed to shrink into the chair. her eyes were staring into the now empty mug, her fingers lightly tapping against the cup.
you glanced at sunghoon, but he was already looking at you. his expression remained unreadable, but his fingers had begun to unclasp from its hold. “did your mother ever mention the calls?” he asked eventually.
jisoo looked up, “calls?” she asked, as if the concept was new, unheard of.
he continued, “from an unknown number.” she thought for a few moments before slowly shaking her head.
she tilted her head. “my mother never spoke of such things to me. but–” she stopped, setting her cup down. “but?” sunghoon pressed lightly.
“i remember hearing her phone ring a lot.” she shifted slightly in her seat, her shoulders dropping slightly.
“usually very late into the night. i don’t think i was supposed to have heard it. but i did. i think she’d think the whole house was asleep. she never realised i was awake.”
“how did she react to those calls?”
“at first she’d silence it. to not wake anyone. especially my father, if he was home. she’d go outside– to the balcony i mean– and she’d stare at her phone. watch it ring. sometimes she’d pick it up, bring it to her ear. it barely lasted for a minute. she’d end the call and walk to the wine cabinet, pour herself a glass and drink it. alone, in the dark.”
your pen had stopped moving long ago. sunghoon's expression didn't change, but you noticed the slight tightening of his jaw. “did your father know about this?” he asked.
jisoo blinked. “i'm not sure. they weren't exactly the type to tell each other everything.”
the room fell quiet. you glanced down at your notes. busy. phone. late night calls. fear. wine.
none of it matched what kangdae had said earlier. because according to him— his wife had been perfectly fine. was she “fine” according to him? or was he lying? or were they never close enough to realise. but that couldn’t be possible, you can’t be married to someone for twenty-three years and not know their regular behavior, not know when they were anxious.
you looked at sunghoon, silently asking him if you could speak. he nodded slightly. “would you say she was anxious?”
jisoo's brows furrowed slightly. “anxious?” she repeated quietly. you nodded. she stared down at the table for a few moments, her fingers flexing slightly.
“i don't know.” her fingers tapped once against the cup. “my mother always carried stress well.” she paused, but it was tense, and tired. tired in a way that it felt she had been carrying something heavy for a while. her eyes lifted again. “she started locking her study.” sunghoon looked up.
“locking it?” he repeated. jisoo nodded slowly. “she never used to. she—”
her phone began to ring. she looked at the caller id, confusion flickered across her face . “it’s my professor. it’s probably urgent. i should probably take this. is that okay with you?”
sunghoon nodded, “yes, we’ll take a fifteen minute break. miss kang and i will be in my office, you’re free to take the room,” he said, as he gathered the files and his notes as he walked out without sparing you a glance.
you shot her a quick glance, watching as she swiped her thumb against the screen, bringing the phone to her ear, you walked out behind the man. you followed him into his office, where he had already settled into his chair.
you shut the office door behind you. and for a moment, neither of you spoke. sunghoon dropped the files onto his desk before leaning back in his chair, stretching slightly. “thoughts?” he asked. the fire in his eyes had returned, the slight softness in them had disappeared in jisoo’s absence.
you stared at him, without replying. his eyebrow lifted slightly. “what? do you have nothing else to say? or did you forget it all looking at me. because—”
“stop.” you said, your eyes turning to steel. the corner of his mouth twitched.
“go on, then. speak.” he said, his voice dropping a little lower. if this was in another scenario and a different man, you might have considered it hot. the effortless dominance and cockiness he always managed to slip into his voice, it irritated you to no end.
“i think she’s telling the truth. but that means kangdae lied, because he said his wife was fine. or maybe he never realised for whatever reason. but then he was a shitty husband because you can’t be married to someone for over twenty years and not how they act. pathetic i tell you.”
“you couldn’t know that. people only see what they want to see. and kangdae is clearly that type of man. he saw her as a guest at his house. why would he want to know more? it was clear he never wanted her, and it was clear she never wanted him.” he countered, his posture stiffening. the sharpness in his eyes took you aback. why was he so sure?
sunghoon leaned back slightly in his chair, his eyes fixed on you. “or,” he said slowly, “you're assuming people tell each other everything.” you frowned.
“that's not what i'm saying.”
“isn't it?” you looked up from the files. “i'm saying you notice things.” he tilted his head slightly.
“do you?” he asked. his eyes, sharp and cold.
you stared at him. “what's that supposed to mean?”
his fingers tapped once against the arm of his chair. “people hide things all the time.” he said. like it was unimportant. like it was meaningless.
“not from people they love.” the words left your mouth before you could stop them. he blinked, clenching his fists. silence followed. sunghoon didn't move. nothing. and then his jaw tightened. “you'd be surprised.” his voice was quieter now, but it’s sharpness hadn’t disappeared. it only became bolder.
you stared at him for a moment. the argument had taken a personal turn, and you knew it. you balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into your palm.
“you can’t love someone and not realise. you can’t marry someone, live with them for years and not know the basics of their personality or behavior. hell—” you paused abruptly. sunghoon’s eyes bore into you, his head slightly tilted as if he was questioning your statement entirely.
“go on, darling. what was that?” he said, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes.. you shook your head, “nothing. we have better things to worry about. what else do we need to know?” you looked away first, still feeling his sharp eyes boring into your skull.
the tension sat heavily in the room, neither of you spoke. you busied yourself with rearranging the files in front of you despite them already being organised. a sharp knock cut through the silence. mrs kim peeked through the door. “ms jang is ready.”
you stood almost immediately. anything was better than sitting in that room any longer. you walked ahead, not bothering to check if sunghoon was following. but you were very conscious of the way his footsteps trailed behind you.
when the two of you entered the interview room again, jisoo had already placed her phone back into her bag. her eyes shot up as she heard the two of you enter. “sorry,” she said quietly, looking towards him. “my professor needed something.” sunghoon took his seat again. moving to sit beside him, you couldn’t help but notice how entirely different kangade and his daughter were.
“it's alright, may i pick up from where we left off?” he asked, opening the file once more. the softness was back in his eyes, his tone losing its sharp edge. he began to speak with her nod. her hands gripping the mug, that was now refilled with fresh coffee that was still steaming.
“you mentioned your mother started locking her study.” jisoo nodded slowly.
“she started around two weeks before,” she spoke, pausing as she glanced at the ceiling before her eyes flickered back to sunghoon again. “before everything.” sunghoon glanced down briefly at his notes. “did anyone go inside?”
she shook her head. “not me. and certainly not my father either.” sunghoon looked up slowly. “certainly? you’re sure?”
jisoo frowned slightly. “yeah.” her brows pulled together. “father hated going into her study. he never said why. he just didn’t.”
sunghoon hummed faintly, tilting his head tot he side. “not the maids? the housekeepers? no one?” sunghoon pressed further.
she didn’t reply immediately. she blew the coffee, and took a sip. “i believe they weren’t allowed to. i myself haven’t been there much.”
sunghoon glanced briefly at you before looking back at jisoo. “sometimes the smallest things matter,” he said. “even if they seem unimportant.” jisoo stared down at the coffee in her hands. you thought she'd shake her head, say nothing. but instead she started.
“she forgot things.”
“forgot?”
jisoo nodded slowly. “small things. my mom never forgets things. she has amazing memory.” she let out a quiet breath, something that could have been a laugh.
“she forgot to remind me to bring my umbrella one morning.” she smiled faintly. “it sounds stupid.” nobody interrupted her. “she forgot where she left her glasses once. and she burnt breakfast.”
you blinked. burning breakfast? jisoo looked up briefly, her eyes shifting between you and sunghoon.
“my mom didn't cook much, but whenever she did. she did it properly. like someone was grading her.” her eyes dropped again. she paused, breathing in. clenching her fists.
“i remember thinking she looked distracted. like she was somewhere else.” her grip tightened around the mug.
“i thought she was tired. now i don't know if she was.”
sunghoon tapped his pen lightly against the table. he was beginning to get a little frustrated. always the impatient man. “did your mother ever keep anything important there?”
“important? in what sense?”
“documents. files. letters.”
she thought for a few moments. “i wouldn’t know, i assume so. her job forced her to maintain patient confidentiality. she never really spoke about her clients or anything.”
sunghoon tapped his foot, opening his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by jisoo.
“but, um.” you looked up from your notes and sunghoon had shut his mouth again, waiting for her to continue.
“she did spend more time there.” his foot tapped once more, as if to say “bingo!”
“more time?” jisoo nodded slowly. “sometimes— sometimes when i'd wake up in the middle of the night and see the light under the door.” she looked down at the coffee in her hands. “and i thought she was working.”
“you think?” sunghoon asked.
“i do not know what i think anymore. but i know she was a little scared.”
nobody spoke, the low hum of the a/c filled the room. sunghoon lowered his pen onto the table. “one last thing.” jisoo looked up.
“the day your mother was found,” her fingers tightened around the mug. “did anything unusual happen?” she frowned, thinking.
“not really.” a pause. “father had left early for work, as usual. and i had left for my classes. i hadn’t seen my mother that morning. and i don’t know if father did.”
you looked down at your notes. “for work?” you asked absentmindedly. “yeah.”
sunghoon glanced down at the notes in front of him. “did he mention where he was going that day?”
jisoo shook her head. “no, father usually doesn't tell me those things.” you nodded absentmindedly, scribbling down the last few points from the interview. phone calls. fear. Study. late nights.
you looked up slightly. “mr jang mentioned he had a meeting today too.”
“yeah, it’s like that he’s always busy.” jisoo replied automatically. then her brows slowly pulled together, she straightened. setting her mug down. “meeting?” she asked.
“today?” she repeated, sounding confused now. the room went still. sunghoon shot a quick glance towards you. “my dad doesn't have meetings today.”
a pause. sunghoon looked up. and you stopped writing.
ಇ.content & warnings: ꒰fingering ⋮⋮ oral (reader & satoru rec.) ⋮⋮ p slapping! ⋮⋮ pet names heavy! ⋮⋮ cum in mouth ⋮⋮ cum play ⋮⋮ both at the same time ⋮⋮ p in v ⋮⋮ dp ⋮⋮ tummy bulges ⋮⋮ c-pied꒱
You’re sprawled across Eren’s lap like always, legs dangling off the arm of the couch, head tucked under Satoru’s chin while he scrolls aimlessly on his phone. The three of you have been tangled like this for hours, while some dumb action movie flickers on the TV that none of you are really watching.
It’s the kind of Friday night that’s happened a hundred times before: snacks scattered, blanket fortress half-built, your body slotted perfectly between theirs like you were custom-made to fit the negative space they create when they sit too close.
Eren’s thumb keeps brushing slow, absent circles over the bare skin of your thigh where your oversized hoodie rode up and you're only wearing panties underneath. Satoru’s fingers are threaded loosely through your hair, tugging just enough to feel possessive without ever admitting it. They’re warm. They’re always warm.
And you’re so used to it, the casual touching, the way they both smell faintly of cedar and whatever cologne they stole from each other, that you never question how heavy their breathing gets when you shift and your ass presses back against Eren’s hips.
You yawn, stretch like a cat, and announce it without thinking.
“I’ve got a date tomorrow night.”
The room doesn’t freeze. Not exactly.
But the lazy thumb on your thigh stops dead. Toru’s fingers pause mid-scratch against your scalp. The only sound left is the muffled explosions from the television and the sudden harsh rhythm of Eren’s exhale through his nose.
“A date,” Eren repeats. Flat. Like he’s tasting something bitter.
“Yeah,” you hum, oblivious, scrolling through your phone now. “This guy from chem. He’s cute. Kinda tall. Said he’d take me to that new ramen place downtown.”
Toru’s voice comes quieter than usual. Almost gentle. “Tomorrow.”
“Mhm.” You tilt your head back to look up at him, smiling all sweet and glassy-eyed like you always do when you’re happy. “Why? You guys wanna come third-wheel? I can ask if he’s cool with it.”
Eren laughs, but it’s wrong. Sharp, with no humor in it at all.
He shifts under you suddenly, strong hands clamping around your hips, keeping you pinned right where you are. You squeak in surprise, thighs squeezing together on instinct.
“No,” he says. Low and dangerous. “We don’t wanna third-wheel, princess.”
Toru’s hand slides from your hair down to your throat…not choking, just… holding. Collarbone to jaw. His thumb brushing the soft skin under your chin so you have to look at him.
“You’re not going,” he murmurs.
You blink up at him, lashes fluttering. “Huh?”
“You’re not going on a date,” Eren cuts in, voice rougher now, hips rolling up just enough that you feel exactly how hard he is. Not subtle. Not pretending anymore. The thick outline of him presses insistently against your ass through thin layers of fabric. “Not with him. Not with anyone.”
Your breath catches. You’re still trying to process, still trying to stay in that sweet, fuzzy headspace where they’re just your overprotective best friends so when Toru leans down and kisses the corner of your mouth soft, teasing and barely there, you're a bit stunned to say the least.
But Eren doesn’t tease.
He grabs your chin, turns your face towards him, and kisses you like he’s been starving for it. Deep and messy, his tongue sliding against yours before you can even gasp. One hand fists in your hair while the other slips under the hoodie, rough palm skating up your bare stomach until he’s cupping your breast, thumb flicking over your nipple like he’s done it a thousand times in his head, he grabs it and balls up the fabric in his palm and tugs it off you, throwing it behind the couch without care.
When he finally pulls back, both of you are breathing hard. Your lips are swollen. His eyes are dilated, black eating the emerald green.
“We’ve been good,” he rasps. “So fucking good. Letting you prance around in those tiny shorts, letting you sleep between us, letting you rub that pretty little body all over us every night like it’s nothing. But a date?” He laughs again low and bitter. “Nah, baby. That shit ends tonight.”
Toru’s mouth finds your neck. Open-mouthed, he sucks a bruise right under your jaw while his hand slides between your thighs, not touching your pussy yet, just cupping you over your panties, letting you feel the heat of his palm.
“You’ve been so sweet to us,” Toru whispers against your skin. “Letting us hold you. Letting us get hard and pretend it’s an accident. But we’re done pretending, baby.”
Eren’s fingers pinch your nipple harder and you whimper embarrassingly which makes them both look at each other in unison and smirk.
“We both think about this cunt every single night,” he growls. “Every time you fall asleep between us, we’re rock fucking hard imagining how tight you’d feel. How wet you are, how you’d cry our names when we finally stretch you open.”
Toru hums in agreement, middle finger pressing just enough against your clit through the cotton that your hips jerk.
“You’re ours,” he says simply. Like it’s obvious. Like it’s always been obvious. “Always have been. You just didn’t know we were waiting for permission to take what’s ours.”
Eren leans in again, lips brushing yours.
“Tell us you want it,” he murmurs. “Tell us you want both of us. Or we stop right now… and you can go on your little date tomorrow like a good girl.”
His thumb brushes your bottom lip.
“But if you do…” He smiles slowly, a feral glint in his eyes,"We're not letting you leave this couch until your pussy’s so full of us you can’t even think about another man’s name.”
Your thighs tremble.
Your heart hammers, you aren't entirely sure if the imagery Eren’s just conjured up is what has your body on fire and mind in disarray with boiling want. Do you really want them both at the same time, your best friends…were you always this naive about them or did you just realise that you want them too.. God, yes you fucking do.
And between them now, with their warmth, dicks hard and unyielding tension, you feel something inside you finally give in.
Soft and sweet and a little dumb with want.
“…please,” you whisper.
Eren groans like you just handed him the keys to heaven.
Toru smiles against your throat.
“Good girl.”
You’re still trembling from the way they pinned you down, Eren’s mouth bruising yours, Satoru’s teeth grazing your throat and when Toru shifts, sitting up straighter on the couch. His hoodie is rucked up just enough to show the sharp cut of his hips, the light trail of hair disappearing into gray sweats that are doing nothing to hide how fucking thick he is.
“Baby,” he says, voice all soft velvet now, “need your mouth.”
Your eyes drop automatically. His hand catches yours, guides it down slow until your palm presses flat over the obscene bulge. Even through the fabric you can feel the heat, the heavy throb. He’s so hard it looks painful, long, thick and curving up toward his stomach like it’s begging.
“See, baby? m’hard for you,” he murmurs, thumb brushing over your knuckles while he makes you feel every inch. “Been like this every night you sleep between us. Couldn’t help it. Your little ass grinding back, those tiny whimpers you make in your sleep… fuck.”
You swallow. Your mouth feels too wet, too empty.
He tugs the waistband of his sweats down just enough. No underwear.. you think thats gross but also fucking hot ugh. Just him and his fat, flushed cock, the tip already slick and shiny with precum that beads at the slit and drips slow down the underside. It twitches when the cool air hits it. So pretty. So stupidly big. The kind of cock that makes your thighs clench on instinct.
You’re sweet about it. Always sweet. You lean forward without being told twice, pressing the softest, open-mouthed kiss right to the fat head. Your lips brush the sticky tip and he hisses through his teeth, hips jerking like he can’t help it.
“Good girl,” Toru breathes. One hand cups the back of your head, not pushing, just holding. “Just like that. Kiss it again. Taste me, pretty please.”
You do. Another slow, filthy kiss. Then another. Letting your tongue flick out to lap at the precum, salty and warm. He groans low in his throat.
“Open up, baby. Gonna teach you exactly how I like it.”
You part your lips. He guides himself in slowly, inch by thick inch, until the head sits heavy on your tongue. Your eyes water instantly at the stretch, but you don’t pull back. You just look up at him with those big, glassy eyes while he starts telling you what he wants.
“Suck the tip first.. yeah aaaah- just like that. Swirl your pretty tongue around it. Fuck… goodness baby. Now take a little more. Relax your throat for me, sweet thing. Breathe through your nose.”
You try. You really try. He’s so big it makes your jaw ache already, but the way he’s looking at you like you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen makes you want to take all of him. You hollow your cheeks, suck soft, letting your tongue drag along the thick vein underneath.
Behind you, Eren’s been patient. Too patient.
His hands find the backs of your thighs, prying them apart until you’re spread wide across his lap. Cool air hits your soaked panties and you whimper around Toru’s cock.
“Come on, baby girl,” Eren growls against the shell of your ear. “Won’t you let me see this pretty pussy? Been dying to look at it properly.”
His fingers hook into the crotch of your panties, tugging them to the side. You’re dripping. Embarrassingly so, strings of slick connecting your folds to the fabric when he pulls it away and he groans like he’s in pain.
“Fuck. Look at her, Toru. She’s fucking soaked.”
Toru’s hips stutter forward, pushing a little deeper into your mouth at the sight. You gag softly but keep going, drool's already slipping down your chin.
Eren’s fingers slide through your folds slowly with deliberate care, coating themselves in your wetness before he finds your clit. Cute little swollen thing, peeking out and begging. He rubs it in tight, mean circles with his thumb while two fingers tease your entrance, not pushing in yet. Just circling. Spreading you open.
“So wet for us,” he mutters. “This little cunt’s been waiting, huh? Knew you needed both of us stretching you out.”
You moan around Toru’s cock, the vibrations making him curse under his breath. Your hips buck forward into Eren’s hand without thinking, chasing the pressure on your clit.
Toru’s grip tightens in your hair. “That’s it, baby. Keep sucking. Gonna fuck your mouth slow while Eren plays with this perfect pussy. You’re doing so good for us.”
Eren slips one finger inside you, then another immediately, curling them just right while his thumb keeps working your clit in relentless little strokes. You’re shaking now, thighs trembling, drool dripping down Toru’s cock as you try to take him deeper.
Eren hooks his fingers into the thin waistband of your panties now, tugging them down with slow, patient care, down the swell of you ass and the crotch is soaked, from his spit and your sticky slick. Once he gets it off he presses an open mouthed kiss to your pretty cunt, his mouth fully englufing you with no barrier stopping him anymore.
They’ve got you right where they want you, split open between them, mouth full, cunt dripping, completely theirs.
And they’re only just getting started.
Toru’s grip in your hair turns firmer but not cruel, just enough to remind you who’s in control. He rocks his hips up slow, feeding you another thick inch until the head bumps the back of your throat and your eyes water instantly. You gag around him, soft and wet, helpless little sound that makes his abs flex and his breath hitch.
“Fuck, baby… that’s it,” he groans, voice wrecked. “Gag on it. Let me feel that tight little throat squeeze me. You’re so sweet when you try to take it all.”
Tears prick your lashes. Drool spills from the corners of your mouth, slicking down his shaft, dripping onto your chin and the couch beneath. You’re messy for him, always so eager to please and he loves it. Loves the way your tongue still tries to swirl even when you’re struggling, the way your cheeks hollow every time he pulls back just to push in again.
Behind you, Eren’s done playing nice.
He’s got your thighs shoved wide, knees hooked over his shoulders now so your ass is lifted just enough for him to bury his face where he’s been dying to be. Rough hands spread your cunt open, his fingers digging into soft, slick flesh, holding you apart like he’s displaying you. You’re so wet it’s obscene: glistening folds, clit swollen and throbbing, strings of arousal clinging to his fingers when he pulls them away.
“Look at this sloppy little pussy,” he mutters against your inner thigh, hot breath fanning over your core. “Dripping all over my hand just from sucking him off. You love being used like this, don’t you?”
Before you can even whimper around Toru’s cock, Eren slaps your pussy, a sharp, wet smack that makes your whole body jolt. The sting blooms fast into heat, clit pulsing harder. You cry out muffled around the thick length filling your mouth.
Eren does it again. Harder. The sound is filthy, each wet smacks echoing in the quiet room. Your hips buck uselessly, cunt clenching around nothing.
“Sensitive already?” he taunts, voice low and mean. Then he spits, right on your clit, a thick glob of saliva landing perfectly, sliding down your folds. He watches it drip with dark eyes before leaning in and dragging his tongue flat from your entrance to your clit in one long, slow stripe.
You sob around Toru. The vibration makes him curse and thrust deeper, holding you there until your nose brushes his pelvis and you’re choking sweetly, and tears streaming.
Eren eats you like he’s starving. Tongue flicking fast over your clit, then sucking it between his lips with hard pulls that make your thighs shake. He alternates: sloppy open-mouthed kisses to your folds, tongue dipping inside to fuck you shallow, then back to circling that needy little bud. Every time you get close, your hips grinding and muffled moans turning desperate, he pulls back. Just enough.
Edging and Torturing you… keeping you right on the brink.
“Uh-uh,” he growls when your cunt flutters, so close you can taste it. Another slap, lighter this time, but it still makes you yelp around Toru’s cock. “Not yet, baby girl. You don’t come until we say.”
Toru’s breathing is ragged now, hips stuttering as he fucks your throat in shallow thrusts. “She’s gonna make me come if she keeps moaning like that,” he warns Eren, but there’s no real complaint in it, just raw need. “Fuck… her mouth’s so warm. So fucking wet.”
Eren hums against your clit, the vibration ripping another choked sound from you. He spits again messily then sucks your clit back into his mouth while two fingers slide inside, curling against that spot that makes your eyes roll back.
You’re shaking. Drooling. Gagging sweetly every time Toru bottoms out. Cunt clenching around Eren’s fingers while he edges you mercilessly with every lick, suck, slap, spit, repeat.
They’ve got you trapped between them, mouth stuffed full, pussy spread and devoured, body trembling on the edge of something massive.
Toru’s thumb brushes a tear from your cheek, almost tenderly and he slips his cock out of from your mouth and taps the tip of his cock to your lips as you catch your breath, smearing bubbly saliva and pre over your lips messily.
“Such a good girl,” he whispers. “Taking us both so pretty.”
Eren pulls back just long enough to murmur against your dripping folds:
“Gonna let you come soon, baby… but only when you’re choking on his load and begging for mine.”
Your whole body clenches at the promise.
They’re not stopping.
Not until you’re ruined for anyone else.
Eren pulls back from your dripping cunt with a wet, obscene sound, his lips shiny, chin slick with you. He’s breathing hard, eyes dark and blown out like he’s high off the taste. Without a word he shifts, lying flat on his back along the couch, one arm hooked behind his head while the other reaches for your hip.
“Come on, baby,” he rasps, voice rough from all the growling and licking. “Sit on my face. Need this pretty pussy grinding on my tongue right fucking now.”
You’re still dazed, mouth swollen from Toru, thighs shaking from the edging, but the command cuts through the fog. You crawl forward on shaky knees, straddling his head. He doesn’t wait for you to settle. Big hands clamp around your hips and yank you down hard until your soaked cunt is pressed flush to his mouth.
The first swipe of his tongue is filthy, long and flat dragging from your entrance all the way up to your clit. He groans into you like you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, vibrations ripping a broken moan from your throat. Then he’s eating you messy: lips sucking at your folds, tongue fucking inside shallow and greedy, nose bumping your clit with every tilt of his head. He’s loud about it slurping, sucking and growling against your core like he’s trying to drink you dry.
Your hands scramble for purchase, fingers digging into the back of the couch as your hips rock instinctively, grinding down on his face. He loves it. Encourages it with bruising grips, guiding you to ride his tongue harder and faster.
Toru’s been watching the whole time, stroking himself slow and lazy while you gagged on him earlier. Now he stands up beside the couch, his sweats shoved down to his thighs, cock flushed dark and glistening from your spit. He steps closer, one hand fisting the base while the other cups your jaw, tilting your face toward him.
“Open up again, baby,” he murmurs, thumb brushing your bottom lip. “Gonna fuck this pretty mouth while he eats you out.”
You part your lips on instinct, still so sweet, so pliant and he slides back in. Not gentle this time. He pushes deep right away, hitting the back of your throat until your eyes water fresh and you gag around him, sloppy and wet. Drool spills immediately, running down your chin, dripping onto Eren’s chest below you.
Toru starts thrusting in, slow at first, letting you adjust, then deeper, harder. One hand tangles in your hair to hold you steady while the other braces on the back of the couch. “That’s it… throat me like a good girl. Fuck, look at you nmgh taking it so sloppy, making such aaah mess.”
Every time he bottoms out you choke. Sweet, wet gurgles that make Eren groan louder into your cunt. The sound vibrates straight through your clit and you buck harder against his face, smearing yourself all over his mouth, his nose, his chin. He doesn’t care. He just spreads you wider with his thumbs, tongue flicking fast over your clit before sucking it between his lips again, relentlessly.
His own hand slips down, his fingers wrapping around his neglected cock, stroking himself in rough, tight pulls while he devours you. The wet schlick of his fist mixes with the filthy sounds of his mouth on your pussy and Toru’s dick sliding in and out of your throat.
You’re caught perfectly between them: hips grinding desperate on Eren’s tongue, throat stuffed full of Toru’s thick length, drool and slick everywhere. Your moans are muffled and broken, vibrating around him every time Eren licks that perfect spot inside you with his tongue.
Toru’s hips stutter, breath hitching. “Fuck… gonna cum soon if you keep choking on me like that, baby.”
Eren pulls back just enough to growl against your folds, words muffled but clear. “Not yet. She comes first. Then we both fill her up.”
He dives back in, sucking your clit hard, tongue flicking merciless while his fingers dig into your ass, spreading you even wider so he can bury his face deeper.
You’re trembling, thighs quaking, so close it hurts.
Toru fucks your mouth faster. Shallow, sloppy thrusts that make spit drip down onto Eren’s abs.
Eren strokes himself harder, hips bucking up into his fist like he can’t help it.
They’ve got you right there teetering, dripping, stuffed full and theirs.
Just a little more.
And you’re going to shatter.
It hits you like a wave you can’t outrun.
Eren’s tongue is relentlessly sucking your clit in hard, pulsing pulls while his fingers dig into your hips, holding you down so you can’t escape even if you wanted to. Your thighs lock around his head, whole body seizing as the pressure snaps. You cum hard shaking. Cries muffled around Toru’s cock, hips grinding down messy and desperate onto Eren’s face. Slick floods his mouth; he drinks it up greedily, groaning deep vibrations straight into your core that drag the orgasm out longer, sharper, until you’re sobbing with it.
Your cunt pulses around nothing, clenching on air, dripping down his chin, his neck. He doesn’t stop licking, not even when you’re twitching and oversensitive. Just softer laps now, soothing the raw edges while you shudder through the aftershocks.
Toru’s been fucking your throat steady, but the way you choke and moan around him when you come tips him over. He pulls back suddenly. Only the fat, swollen tip still resting on your tongue and strokes himself faster and rough.
“Fuck ngh open wide, baby,” he pants. “Gonna, fuck- give it to you.”
You do. Tongue out, lips parted, eyes glassy and teary from everything staring up at him. He groans low, hips jerking, and comes thick, rope after hot, heavy rope painting your tongue white. It’s so much it spills a little at the corners of your mouth before you can catch it all. Warm and salty, thick enough that it clings n pools heavy in the center of your tongue.
He milks the last drops out with slow strokes, smearing the tip across your lips like he’s marking you.
“Don’t swallow it yet, pretty girl,” he murmurs, voice wrecked and soft all at once. “Need to see it first.”
You stay like that, kneeling between them, thighs still trembling from Eren’s mouth, mouth full of Toru’s load. Eren finally eases you up just enough to sit back against the couch arm, pulling you half into his lap so you’re still facing Toru. His hands slide up your sides, possessively, while he watches with dark emerald, hungry eyes.
Toru steps closer. Cups your jaw gently but firm, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth where a little escaped.
“Show me,” he says.
You part your lips slowly, careful not to let any spill. Your tongue coated, its thick, pearlescent-white, his cum sitting heavy and pooling in the middle, strings of it connecting to the roof of your mouth when you part wider. It’s obscene. Beautifully yours.
Toru exhales shaky. “Fuck… look at that. All for us.”
He reaches in, two long fingers sliding past your lips, pressing into the warm pool of his own release. He stirs it lazy, coating his fingertips, feeling how thick and sticky it is while you whimper softly around the intrusion. Your eyes flutter, lashes wet.
Then he pulls his fingers out, glistening, dripping, and brings them straight to his own mouth. Sucks them clean and slow, tongue swirling around the digits, tasting himself mixed with the faint sweetness of your spit. His eyes never leave yours, cerulean eyes a hint darker and possessive, like he’s claiming every part of this.
“Sweet,” he murmurs against his fingers. “But not as sweet as you’re gonna taste when we both fill that pretty cunt next.”
Eren’s hand slips between your thighs again, fingers brushing your still-throbbing clit, making you jolt.
“Our turn to mark you inside,” Eren growls low against your ear, nipping the lobe. “Gonna stuff you so full you’ll be leaking us for days.”
You’re still holding Toru’s cum on your tongue, thick, warm and waiting.
Toru leans down, kisses the corner of your mouth softly.
“Now swallow, baby,” he whispers. “Take all of me… then we’ll give you both.”
Your throat works. You swallow slow, feeling it slide down, warm and heavy while they watch like it’s the hottest thing they’ve ever seen.
And when your lips part again, empty now, Eren’s already shifting you, lining himself up.
They’re nowhere near done.
Not even close.
Eren’s hands are already on your hips the second you finish swallowing, rough palms sliding up your sides, guiding you with that same possessive grip he’s always had but never let loose like this. He pulls you forward until you’re straddling his lap, knees sinking into the couch cushions on either side of his thighs. Your arms loop around his shoulders automatically, fingers digging into the back of his neck, forehead dropping to rest against his as you try to catch your breath.
He’s hard again, thick and flushed, leaking at the tip from stroking himself while he ate you out. The head nudges against your soaked entrance, slicking itself in your arousal without even trying. You whimper at the contact, hips twitching forward on instinct.
“Easy, baby girl,” Eren murmurs, voice low and wrecked. One hand stays clamped on your hip while the other reaches between you, guiding himself right to your opening. “Gonna take me slow and let me feel every inch of this tight little cunt finally wrap around me?”
You nod dumbly and eager, still hazy from coming so hard, and you start to sink down.
The stretch is immediate. Intense. He’s thick enough that your walls flutter and grip around the head the second it pops inside, and you gasp sharply against his mouth. Eren groans like he’s been punched in the gut, head falling back against the couch for a second before he snaps it forward again to watch your face.
“Fuck… look at you,” he breathes. “Taking me so pretty already.”
You keep sinking down slow and carefully, until he’s buried halfway in. Your thighs tremble from the burn of it and that’s when Toru moves.
He’s been right behind you the whole time, silent and patient, stroking himself lazy while he watched. Now he presses in close, chest flush to your back, one arm banding around your waist to hold you steady while his other hand slides down between your spread thighs.
As you take another inch of Eren, Toru shoves two fingers into your dripping cunt right alongside Eren’s cock.
The stretch doubles instantly. Your walls clamp down hard, fluttering wildly around the sudden fullness. You cry out high and broken, head tipping back against Toru’s shoulder.
“Fuck, baby,” Toru whispers hot against your ear, fingers curling deep, pressing against that spot that makes your toes curl. “So tight. So fucking full already and we’re just getting started.”
Eren’s hips jerk up on instinct, pushing deeper while Toru’s fingers thrust in shallow, matching the rhythm. The drag is obscene, Eren’s thick length stretching you open, Toru’s fingers rubbing against him through your walls, slick sounds filling the room every time they move.
“You’ll let me stretch this pretty pussy out too, hm?” Toru murmurs, voice all soft velvet as makes it sounds more like a promise than a threat. He scissors his fingers in slower, spreading you wider around Eren’s cock, making room. “Gonna open you up nice and slow so you can take both of us. Gonna feel so good when I slide in right next to him… gonna ruin this little cunt for anyone else.”
You’re shaking between them, overwhelmed and suffed, dripping down Eren’s shaft and Toru’s wrist. Eren’s mouth finds your throat, sucking a fresh bruise while he bottoms out fully, hips flush to yours. The pressure is insane, Eren’s cock throbbing deep inside, Toru’s fingers still working you open, curling and thrusting until you’re clenching so hard it hurts in the best way.
“Goddamn,” Eren growls against your skin. “She’s gripping me like a fucking vice. Keep going, Toru ngh stretch her more. Wanna haah feel you in there with me.”
Toru adds a third finger in slow and carefully and you sob, nails digging into Eren’s shoulders. The burn blooms into heat, into pleasure so sharp it whites out your vision for a second.
“That’s it,” Toru praises, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Such a good girl. Taking us both already. Gonna fuck you together soon… gonna fill you up until you’re leaking us for days.”
Eren starts rocking up into you with shallow thrusts that make his cock drag against Toru’s fingers with every stroke. You’re so full you can barely think, just feel. Just take.
They’ve got you pinned perfectly, in the front and back, cock and fingers, mouths and hands everywhere.
And they’re only warming you up.
Toru’s fingers are still buried deep, three thick digits stretching you wide around Eren’s cock. When he finally starts to pull them out, slow. Every inch drags against your fluttering walls, against the heavy length already filling you, making you whimper and clench harder around Eren.
You’re shaking in Eren’s lap, arms locked around his shoulders, forehead pressed to his as you try to breathe through the overwhelming fullness. Eren’s hands grip your hips like anchors, keeping you seated deep on him while he watches Toru over your shoulder with those emerald, impatient eyes.
Toru’s voice is low against the back of your neck, lips brushing skin. “Gonna replace these fingers now, baby. Gonna slide right in next to him… gonna make this pretty pussy take us both.”
He shifts closer, chest flush to your back again, one hand steadying your waist while the other guides his cock down. The fat, slick head nudges right against your already-stretched entrance, pressing insistently beside Eren’s shaft. You feel the pressure immediately, hot, blunt, and impossible… fuck- it feels impossible and your breath hitches into a soft, panicked whine.
“Shh,” Toru soothes, kissing the curve of your shoulder. “Relax for me. You’ve been so good… you can take it. Just breathe.”
Eren groans low when he feels Toru start to push, feels the thick head crowding in, stretching you further. “Fuck… yeah, push in slow. Let her feel every inch.”
You’re so wet it helps, slick dripping down Eren’s balls, coating Toru’s tip but the stretch is blinding. Toru rocks forward gently at first, just the head breaching you alongside Eren. Your walls burn, fluttering wildly, trying to accommodate the impossible double thickness. A broken sob tears from your throat; your nails dig crescent moons into Eren’s shoulders.
“Too much?” Eren murmurs against your lips, kissing you soft and messy to distract you. “You’re doing so good, baby girl. Look at you, taking two cocks like you were made for it.”
You whine, embarrassed by the fact of his words. Eren soothes you gently, petting your back with slow strokes, shushing you in his arms.
Toru takes that as a sign to sink in deeper, inch by slow, torturous inch, until he’s buried to the hilt right next to Eren. The fullness is obscene: two thick lengths pressed flush together inside you, walls stretched thin and tremble around them. You can feel every vein, every throb, the way they twitch against each other through the thin barrier of your body.
“Goddamn,” Toru breathes, voice wrecked. His forehead drops to your shoulder, hips flush to your ass. “So fucking tight… can feel him right next to me. Feel how full you are, baby?”
You can’t speak… the words are stuck, you just nod frantically, tears slipping down your cheeks from the intensity. Eren starts moving first. Shallow, careful rolls of his hips that make both cocks drag inside you at once. The friction is electric; every slide rubs them together, rubs against that deep spot that makes your vision blur.
Toru matches him after a moment, pulling back slow while Eren pushes in, then switching. They find a rhythm quick: one in, one out, seesawing deep inside you so there’s never a second you’re empty. The drag is relentless, stretching, filling. Utterly overwhelming.
You’re crying now, soft and overwhelmed sobs into Eren’s neck while your hips start rocking back on instinct, chasing more even though you’re already so full it hurts in the sweetest way.
“That’s it,” Eren growls, one hand sliding up to cup your breast, thumb flicking your nipple. “Ride us, baby. Fuck yourself on both our cocks. Show us how much you love being stuffed like this.”
Toru’s hand slips around to your clit, fingers finding the swollen bud and rubbing tight, fast circles while they keep thrusting. The added stimulation sends sparks up your spine; you clench hard around them both, making them groan in unison.
“Gonna come again?” Toru whispers hot against your ear. “Gonna soak us both? Milk us until we fill this little cunt up?”
Eren’s thrusts get harder, deeper. Hips snapping up to meet yours. “Come on our cocks, pretty girl. Let us feel it. Then we’re gonna pump you so full you’ll be dripping for us so beautifully.”
You’re trembling, teetering, so close again, your body stretched to its limit, clit throbbing under Toru’s fingers, two thick cocks ruining you from the inside out.
They’ve got you pinned, claimed and completely theirs.
And when you shatter this time it’s going to be devastating.
They’re moving in perfect, brutal sync now, Eren thrusting up deep while Toru drives in from behind, cocks sliding against each other inside your stretched, fluttering walls. Every push rubs them together through the thin membrane, friction so intense it makes your eyes roll back. You’re creaming around them. Thick, milky slick coating both shafts, dripping down Eren’s balls and Toru’s thighs with every wet slap of skin on skin.
Your tight walls grip them like a vice, milking desperately as they fuck straight into your cervix, blunt heads battering that deep, sensitive spot over and over. The pressure builds fast, sharp and overwhelming; your tummy bulges visibly with each thrust, the outline of their cocks pressing outward against your lower belly.
Eren notices first. His hand slides down from your hip, palm flattening over the soft swell. He pushes on it firmly, gently and deliberately, right where the bulge is most pronounced.
“Fuck, look at that,” he growls, voice wrecked. “Can feel myself right here… feel how deep we are inside you, baby girl? Stretching her little pussy so wide she’s bulging for us.”
You whimper broken and high, hips jerking between them. The pressure of his palm combined with the relentless pounding sends sparks shooting up your spine. Toru’s hand joins, fingers splaying beside Eren’s, both of them pressing down in tandem as they thrust harder, deeper.
“Gonna make you come like this,” Toru murmurs hot against your ear, teeth grazing the lobe. “Gonna feel you cream all over both our cocks while we kiss your cervix, hm baby want us deep in there?.”
You bite your lip, and it hits you suddenly and violent.
Your whole body locks up, back arching, thighs quaking, a raw sob tearing from your throat as you come harder than before. Walls spasm wildly around them, clenching so tight it drags broken groans from both their throats. Slick gushes out in messy pulses, soaking their cocks, dripping down in thick rivulets. Your vision whites out for a second; you’re shaking, crying, completely lost in the overwhelming fullness and the way Eren’s palm keeps pushing on that bulge, making every pulse of your orgasm feel deeper, sharper.
They don’t stop, can’t stop. They bury themselves to the hilt in one final, synchronized thrust, Eren’s hips snapping up, Toru slamming forward until there’s no space left inside you. You feel them throb, swell, and then they’re coming hard.
Hot, thick spurts flood you at the same time, Eren's cock pulsing deep against your cervix while Toru unloads right beside him, ropes of cum mixing, filling every inch until you’re overflowing. The pressure is insane; your walls flutter helplessly around the double load, trying to take it all but failing beautifully.
Toru pulls back just enough, barely an inch while staying buried deep. His free hand slides down between your thighs, thumb hooking one swollen lip and spreading you open wide. The sight is filthy: your pussy stretched obscenely around both cocks, creamy white cum already leaking out in a fat, slow spurt. It slips from between their shafts thick and pearly dripping down Toru’s length in a heavy trail, coating his balls, pooling on Eren’s thighs beneath you.
“Fuck… look at her leaking us,” Toru breathes, thumb rubbing slow circles through the mess, spreading it over your clit. “So full she can’t even keep it all inside.”
Eren groans low, hips twitching with aftershocks as another small spurt escapes him. His palm stays pressed to your tummy, feeling the faint throb of their cocks still buried deep.
“You’re ours now,” he rasps, kissing your sweaty temple. “This pussy’s marked. Stuffed. Leaking both of us.”
You’re trembling between them overstimulated, full to bursting, cum dripping slow and steady down your thighs. They don’t pull out. Not yet.
They just hold you there, cocks softening slightly but still thick inside, keeping every drop plugged deep while their hands roam lazy over your body.
Claimed.
Ruined.
Theirs.
The room feels heavier now, thick with the smell of sex, sweat, and the faint salt of cum. You’re still straddling Eren’s lap, thighs quivering, body limp and boneless between them. Their cocks are softening inside you, but neither has pulled out yet, just resting there, keeping you plugged full, every tiny shift making a fresh trickle of their mixed release slip out.
Toru moves first.
He eases back slow and carefull, so so gentle, until his cock finally slips free with a wet, obscene sound. A thick gush of cum follows immediately, spilling from your stretched hole, running hot down your inner thighs and dripping onto Eren’s lap. You whimper at the sudden emptiness, walls fluttering around Eren’s length like they’re trying to pull him deeper to compensate.
Toru doesn’t go far.
He leans in close behind you again, chest pressed to your back, arms wrapping around your waist in a loose, possessive hold. His lips find the side of your neck, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses. Trailing up the curve where he’d bitten earlier. Gentle now. Soothing. Each press of his mouth feels like an apology and a promise at once.
“You did so good, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, voice low and wrecked. “Took us both so perfect. Look at you… all messy and full of us.” Another kiss, slower, right under your ear. His tongue flicks out to taste the salt there. “Gonna take care of you now. Promise.”
His hands slide up your sides, warm palms smoothing over ribs, petting you like you’re something fragile and precious. One hand cups the back of your neck, thumb brushing the base of your skull while he keeps kissing your throat, your jaw, the soft spot behind your ear.
Eren’s still buried inside you, half-hard, twitching lazily every time your walls flutter. He shifts just enough to sit up straighter, pulling you flush against his chest so your breasts press to him. His mouth finds yours immediately, a slow, deep kiss that tastes like your own slick and his tongue. Lazy. Unhurried. Like he’s savoring every second now that the frantic edge is gone.
One hand slides up to cup your breast, thumb circling the nipple soft and unhurried, teasing it back to a stiff peak. He pinches gently, rolls it between his fingers, then soothes with the flat of his palm. The other hand stays low, splayed over your lower belly where the bulge has softened but you can still feel the faint throb of him inside.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful like this,” he mutters against your lips, kissing you again, messy and open-mouthed, tongue sliding slow against yours. “All flushed and leaking us. Our pretty girl.”
He keeps playing with your tits, kneading one while he kisses you deeper, then switching to the other, thumb flicking the nipple until you arch into his touch with a soft whine. Every tug sends little aftershocks through your oversensitive body; your cunt clenches weakly around him, milking another small bead of cum that drips out around his base.
Toru’s mouth never leaves your neck, kissing and sucking soft bruises into fresh skin, whispering praise between each press of his lips.
“So sweet… so fucking perfect… ours, baby. All ours.”
Eren breaks the kiss just long enough to murmur against your mouth, “Gonna stay like this a while. Keep you full. Keep you warm.”
His fingers keep teasing your nipple with gentle pinches and slow circles, while Toru’s hands roam your sides, your back, your hips. They’re everywhere and nowhere all at once, soft touches and warm mouths, their low voices rumbling praise into your skin.
You’re boneless between them, head lolling back against Toru’s shoulder, lips parted on shaky breaths, body humming with the quiet afterglow.
They don’t rush.
They just hold you.
Kiss you.
Pet you.
Like they’ve got all night.
Like they’ve finally got what they’ve wanted for so long.
AT THE SAME DAMN TIME - park sunghoon, lee heeseung
Heeseung loves you and you love him but his brother Sunghoon doesn't like that so he lures you in cause brothers share everything afterall right?
You on the other hand seem to love this game of push and pull, might get called a slut for that...but can you really blame yourself?..your boyfriend is hot but his brother is hotter and when you all come under the same roof..the saxophones get louder
♡- boyfriend Heeseung! x girlfriend reader! × boyfriend's brother Sunghoon!
wordcount : 14k
Content : CHEATING (everyone's a cheater here so basically a cheating loop happens), heavy infidelity, secret, MANIPULATION, power dynamics, jealousy, possessiveness, angst, psychological thriller, territoriality, OBSESSION, degradation, angstttt, morally grey characters, red flags, both brothers are down bad for her but they're still men so..lies, lies and lies
warning : explicit but no actual threesome happens, vibrator play in public, lots of makeout, flirting, spanking, sexual tension, voyeurism, exhibitionism, bdsm, lots of mature themes and suggestive contents, one time Sunghoon touches her while Heeseung sleeps beside her
a/n : kinda outdid myself with this one, considering the fact that I wrote this all 14k in less than 48 hours..(yes blame my hyperfixation)..I'm two seconds away from going insane..anyway guys give this alot of love and share your thoughts, ilysm <3
this is a work of fiction created for the sole purpose of entertainment with no relation to real life facts. I do not condone cheating in real life.
Cold hearts,hot libido.
────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────
"What's worse....emotional cheating or physical cheating?"
Maddy spoke on the other line of the call crossing her legs while she rested in her lavish LA villa.
"how about both?" you murmured low clutching your seatbelt at the thought of even having to choose between two of the worse possibilities.
"Yknow..Nate tells me physical cheating is worse since he can stand me talking deeply to a guy but he'll kill me if he sees me fucking one"
Maddy gave her opinion as she laughed about her boyfriend's toxic boundaries. You sighed hearing the miserable state of her relationship. Maddy was too good for Nate. while Nate was well...Nate. but there was nothing you could do about it. Though you tried. but she didn't want your unsolicited advice on her relationship.
"you're insane maddy" "and you love it" she declared it with such confidence in her tone, it made you laugh..breaking the otherwise tense atmosphere.
"by the way...have you finally reached your boyfie's mansion...or is he still keeping you in the middle??"
"I'm on the way babygirl...see you soon" you said ending the phonecall with the byes.
"What was that about??" Heeseung spoke beside you, his eyes still on the road and his hand was on your thigh while the other handled the steering wheel.
"It was Maddy..she was asking if emotional or physical cheating is better.." you murmured low caressing Heeseung's hand that was on your thigh with a pout you said.
"Aren't they both worse?"
cold sweats formed on Heeseung's forehead at the sizzling question. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and gave a nervous laugh, trying to play oblivious.
"Of course..they're both worse cheating is worse in general"
"I know right" you said chewing on your lower lip.
Cheating was something you always hated. Be it in friendships, relationships or even games. You believed in truth, in fairness, in righteous act.
But don't we all become something we hate?
————
"We're here" Heeseung said parking his car and pulling the door of the car open for you while his other hand went out for you to hold to get out. He was such a sweetheart. You loved him. You guys met one year ago during a mutual's birthday party and instantly fell in love.
There was something so mesmerizing, so magnetic and so alluring about Heeseung that you never seemed to get enough of. Sometimes it made you doubt how many girls used to hit on Heeseung on an everday basis due to his charm but you used to shake that thought off, completely trusting your boyfriend of one year.
so today you were here, after celebrating your one year anniversary yesterday, the only thing Heeseung asked as a present was that you move into his house since you lived in dorms..the kind with bitches filled all around...
....and how could he see his loved one suffering in a pond while he could offer her a river?
Though you tried to deny his offer but he persisted Claiming that it felt too alone with only him and his brother. That he needed a woman in the house...and so you agreed.
"Hee baby.. stop!.." you whisper shouted trying your best to pull Heeseung away who was latched onto your neck, determined to give a love bite before the front door opens.
You panicked when you heard the footsteps come close to the front door from the inside. It's his younger brother..if he sees me like this..what would he think of me?? Embarrassment took over you and you finally detached Heeseung from you.
"Don't worry love..he's very open minded" Heeseung said smirking and wiping the side of his mouth.
He's very open minded?...what did he mean by that—
But your thoughts didn't have enough time to come to life before the front door opened..revealing a..naked man?
your brows furrowed as your mouth opened at the sight of such a built body. Upper body was naked..and sweatpants hanged low on his torso. wide shoulder, ripped muscles, tall figure, fluff hair..and very well.. a handsome face. You were certain whoever he was..was definitely more muscular than Heeseung was.
You quickly shook your head mentally at the comparison. How could you? slapping yourself inside your head but stopped when you heard your boyfriend say.
"Oh Sunghoon ah" Sunghoon? As in his younger brother...wow...how?Sunghoon looked at him then looked at you, shaking his protein drink in one hand.
"Hello brother" he eyed you one more time before raising a brow at his brother.
"Your..?" "Girlfriend"
Heeseung said shutting down Sunghoon before he could utter any other word that could've had the potential to destroy your both relationship. Sunghoon's face changed a bit then he looked at you again and held out a hand.
"nice meeting you..I'm Sunghoon" you quickly shook his hand, feeling the warmth and the slight sweat of the post workout.
"Please go inside baby...I'll get your luggage" Heeseung uttered kissing the side of your cheek and then looked at his brother.
"Why don't you show her around?"
————
"and this is my room"
Sunghoon spoke while sipping the very last drop of his protein drink. you held the back of your head gently, slightly dizzy from this home's huge layout. way too big.
But it's not like you weren't used to it..your parents house was also medium..but living in those isolated university dorms fucked your brain to some extent.
You practically wanted to thank Heeseung for preventing the further damage..you wanted to thank Heeseung in a special way. but all you could focus on now was his brother. The way sweat slid from his neck to his peck..and slid down further before getting absorbed in the grey sweatpants..oh god..not the grey sweatpants.
"You didn't tell me your name" Sunghoon chuckled while putting down the bottle and finally faced you. Something he was avoiding during the whole home tour thing. He looked at you, his brows slightly raised anticipating an answer.
"Oh it's Y/N" his mouth formed an O at that. not the reaction you wanted, but kinda expected.
"Let's have dinner guys...the sun's getting down"
Heeseung said a little breathless from getting your luggage upto your room. On God..and did he look hot you quickly went and held his arm, smiling at him.
"thank you for all this baby" you said giving him heart eyes. He gave you that back kissing your forehead. Sunghoon swore he could puke at this love angle but he shrugged it anyway.
————
you smelled the aroma of the dumplings while you took them out of the pot, dressing them neatly.
"so you know how to cook?" you got a bit startled then looked back to see Sunghoon leaning on the wall while scrolling on his phone, his eyes focused on the phone, not sparing you a glance.
"I do" you said turning your back to him and continued what you were doing.
"The ex he had before you..didn't even know how to make ramen..so Heeseung did all the work"
he said coming closer and smelled the dumpling's aroma. "it smells good" you didn't know what to say to your boyfriend's ex remark so you just changed the topic.
"Yeah I did culinary class in my first semester so I know a thing or two" you gave a nervous smile but then your eyes diverted onto the photo that was displaying, apparently an instagram post of a brunette.
"Is that your girlfriend?" you playfully asked raising one brow...expecting somewhat for him to deny the question,..but he didn't.
"yeah she is, her name's astey" "oh"
you didn't know what you felt knowing that he wasn't single. But you convinced yourself that there was nothing to feel in the first place. He was just your boyfriend's brother. You focused yourself back on the dumplings and took one steaming hot one in your hand, biting into it.
instantly rolling your eyes back at how good it tasted.that action sent vibrations to Sunghoon's body, immediately grabbing the counter to contain himself before he asked you.
"Can I also have a taste?" "yeah sure"
you looked at him about to give him one of the dumplings from the pot but stopped when he snatched the one that was in your hand..you stood still..the one that you tasted..he took it...you still tried to be cool about it though..even if you weren't...
he mimicked the same action of rolling his eyes back on the taste and whispering a low,
"wow"
You chuckled at that but it drained down after what he said next.
"you know..Heeseung hyung doesn't deserve you"
your smile dropped and your hands stopped from where you were wiping the plates. you looked down at the plate, not knowing what to say but what he said next was something you never expected.
"you should've dated me..the hotter brother"
that sent shivers down your spine. there were way too many emotions that came out of this but the most prominent one was..it got you furious. The boyfriend you loved..surely you won't let anyone degrade him...right?
You looked up from the plate..your eyes boring onto his and you declared.
"Never make the mistake of saying something like this again..I only love Heeseung and he means the world to me" you still looked at him while you took the plates before you looked at him one last time to speak your one liner.
"not even God could change that"
Sunghoon saw you go with the plates to the dining table and kiss his brother's forehead while smiling at him as if she didn't almost kill Sunghoon with her eyes.. he definitely joked with you..but his intentions weren't pure and you very well caught onto that. he grew a smirk.
"well... consider me God then"
————
"Sunghoon?" you called out his name low in the dark hallway when you saw him at the front door trying to open it.
placing the glass on the countertop you made your way towards him. Your toe still aching from how you stumbled yourself on the wall in the dark.Heeseung's house was big asf.. So it was obviously hard to get used to it soon.
"Where are you—" your words stopped midway when you went closer to where Sunghoon was and saw a blonde beside him, holding her heels and standing as if she's just been caught. Your brows knitted in confusion. Wasn't his girlfriend brunette?
The blonde looked at you in a displeasing manner, clearly not liking your presence. Gladly you shared the same sentiment... seeing her beside Sunghoon while he was holding her purse.
"Okay Jia see you soon" he kissed her cheek and closed the front door shut.
"as far as you told me..your girlfriend is astey..who's a brunette..so are you cheating on her?" you said folding your arms together on your chest.
Meddling somewhere you shouldn't.
"well I am indeed cheating on her..but guess what? she cheated on me first" he spoke, as if proud, folding his arms together like you, mimicking the action. your mouth opened in surprise, then closed.
"So..are you taking revenge on her by cheating too?"
"Revenge.. pfft......... I don't believe in revenge, I believe in regret........now she knows that I cheat..but doesn't confront me about it cause she's guilty"
"Wow..that's mean" you said more to yourself than him...but that seemed to offend him...very much.
"Why?..you think a few apologies from her will undo her actions?? Will stop her from cheating again???"
He started stepping closer to you as you started stepping back..the heat of the moment growing with each passing second..he stopped till you guys were close enough to be called a couple.
"a person who is bound to cheat will inevitably do it...sooner or later"He said looking deep into your eyes, and for a moment his words ringed in your ear..less like a response, more like a warning.
"Baby!!??"
you came back to your senses when you heard Heeseung call you from the bedroom, visibly confused on where you went at 2 in the morning.
"I'm coming.. Hee!!" you shouted loud enough to get that to your bedroom and looked back at Sunghoon.
"well then goodnight...baby" Sunghoon leaned in and whispered close to your ear before finally walking away to his room.
you held your hand where your heart was and took a deep breath...it's normal...he just greeted...he's sleepy...that's okay....but why...why are the saxophones getting louder?
————
"Is America in Europe??" Jungwon asked bulging his eyes out at the zoom call. Jake just sighed, really done with Jungwon, this call and life in general before he let his inner demons out.
"YAH JUNGWON HOW COULD YOU—" Jake screamed at the screen which made all of you cover your eyes..and Jay who had headphones on was certain that his hearing was damaged for some hours.
"kkay guys calm down...why don't we focus on the project we have for this summer break huh??"
Right. The summer break started. And it only made things worse for you. You were in your senior year and so was Sunghoon, considering both of you were the same age, 22. while Heeseung who was 25, had to handle the family business and legacy which kept him busy and you isolated in his home...with his brother.
It's not like Sunghoon was evil...atleast that's what was shown. He didn't flirt with you, never hit on you, spoke barely, didn't even try to touch you..but it was those little things that drove you insane.
getting a coffee mug while brushing your shoulder..too close to be accidental, walking right past you, in the sense that you guys would collide if one of you moved an inch closer, staring at you at random times like a creep and then looking away, talking to his girlfriend about how he would fuck her in detail..while you ate beside practically choking..deliberately walking without any shirt..
You tried to understand the situation, really did, maybe that was what he's like in general. Since you didn't really know him..but that didn't make anything better.
You thought of telling Heeseung about this..but slapped yourself for even thinking of this.
Heeseung would be disappointed in you.
This thought, on top of how tired Heeseung used to come home from work these days, stopped you.
But it had a limit..that was getting crossed soon.
"you want nudes?" you came back from your zone out session at Sunghoon's voice. He was again..half naked..with a towel wrapped around his torso..his hair wet apparently he just showered.
He shook his wet hair a little and made himself comfortable on the phone call, plopping down on the couch..opposite to you.your eyes widened a little hearing the words.
"Are you hearing Y/N????" Jake took you back into the project call discussing about your group project.
"So we all agree on the globalisation theme right???"
"Yeah we do" you replied shaking one foot below the table.
"okay so we'll include the cold war era and the recent happenings........"
"Okay I'll send you nudes blondie..behave" your ears perked up at his words..and the project call screen that was infront of you became long forgotten when your eyes moved behind your laptop to Sunghoon.
he murmured the response of sending his nudes and slowly, steadily started removing his white towel that was already low on his lips, he removed one layer.
your face got so hot, you could practically feel yourself heating and maybe even releasing steam..who knows..but your eyes still remained on his hands that were slowly undoing his towel.
He placed the camera and let it stand on the table with the support of a water bottle and presumably..was putting on a show for the blondie he was facetiming.
He removed the other layer so now his inner thighs were visible and there was only one thing that remained unvisible... and he ripped the last layer of towel revealing that too.
your eyes went wide for a second or two before they came back to normal. It was big. Saying that would be an understatement cause he really was big..
Did the gene run in the family?
you thought remembering how big Heeseung was too...you closed your legs on instinct at the view of the fully naked man spread out on the couch infront of you.
Wetness was pooling and you knew it. God forbid you get wet really easily..and...
When it drips, it drips hard.
Sunghoon took heavy breath when he felt your eyes on him, he didn't look at you once..but he knew you were looking. On the facetime, the blondie watched him naked while pressed her breasts together..getting turned on.
Two women watching him like that was more than enough to get him in the mood too. So he started. He placed one hand on his thigh while his other started caressing his most intimate part...you tried to suppress a gasp but it came anyway at the sight..his brows furrowed when he slightly heard your gasp and he moaned clearly getting off at the situation.
On the facetime the girl moaned too getting off..chanting hoon,hoon,hoon.
You felt your shorts get wet from the show that was happening infront of you, you bit your lip, you tried to look away but it was as if your eyes were glued to him. Oh..how big it was..how you guys were just ten steps away from fucking like animals....a guy and a girl..alone in a mansion..what really could go wrong?
he leaned his head back on the couch and it revealed his pale neck that was glossy with the sweat that formed...and it took so much power from you to not think or daydream anything your monster was telling you..but it still happened...and you started daydreaming.
what if you stood up from this table and went over to where he was...stripped off your clothes..and positioned yourself down on him..and felt him go inside you?
while you licked his pale neck...eventually kissing him, sucking his plump lips, and getting his saliva in your mouth..?
"Y/N!! Y/N!!!" you broke the daydream when your friend shouted on the zoomcall, her annoyed tone telling you that you missed something important..surely.
You quickly focused back on the screen and this time..fully focused on the group project call...even when you clenched your thighs together..even when you heard him masturbate harder and his moans made you dizzy...
.....though after ending the group call..you soon called Maddy and walked out of there in an instant..not daring to look back at Sunghoon who was still touching himself and the blondie was still moaning.
————
"are you ready baby?" you shouted from the walk in closet getting ready to walk out of it and show Heeseung. Heeseung just chuckled while he closed his eyes waiting for you to come out.
"Yes I'm ready...come already " he heard the footsteps and then your warm hands cupped his cheek which made him open his eyes...and there he saw it...your beautiful innocent face...but then his eyes went down..and he saw you wearing the off white lingerie that he just gifted you and begged for you to wear it.
the fabrics of his sweats got tighter that at. He stood up and roamed his bad manly hands all around your body. that made you break into a gasp. He just chuckled kissing your earlobe and threw you on your bed on all fours. It had been so long since you guys made love..and you missed him..his touch.
Fully convinced that once Heeseung makes love to you..you'll forget Sunghoon like before.
but life doesn't work that way right?
life isn't that easy.
You gripped the bedsheet between your fingers when you felt the bed dip from the weight of Heeseung climbing on it. He pushed your head down on the pillow and caressed your hips with his palm.
"Tell me..how many times did you touch yourself...while I was gone?" "ahhn..I don't remember"
"wrong answer"
"AHH" you moaned, loud and lewd when one hard spank landed on your ass with his strong hands. Hard enough to leave redness behind. but you liked that. Liked the feeling of getting manhandled.
"Awh babygirl..I'm gonna ruin you for good" he hissed caressing your ass and taking off the lingerie before several spanks landed again, breaking sensual moans out of you..
....your body shook from his touch...his hands on you, spanking you bare, while calling you names..did so much to you..and as if that wasn't enough..you accidentally looked to your side where the door was slightly open and saw....Sunghoon.
bottle of water in his hand while he stood still. The best guess was that he woke up for water but came here after hearing the sounds. Your cheeks got flamed hot..you were naked infront of him..and he was seeing you like that..on all fours.
Sunghoon stood in a way that he was able to see you both..but from your side..only you could see him and Heeseung couldn't. Not like Heeseung cared...he was wayy too busy right now..he turned you around and made you plop back on the bed on your back.
His hands straight went for your breast, groping them before his mouth attached to one while the other was massaged by his hand. Your eyes rolled back and you scratched his back..and somehow your gaze still went back to Sunghoon.
your eyes made direct contact and at the same time Heeseung bit your flesh and licked it. a tear and a yelp broke out of you at the overwhelming situation.
Heeseung worked his way upto the top and finally got hold of your lips. Instantly attaching his. it resulted in a messy workout..all tongue...saliva getting mixed and dripping down...you closed your eyes and gripped his hair tighter trying to go even more deeper into his mouth...even forgetting Sunghoon's presence for a while.
The whole bedroom echoed with smooching sounds of you two and it reached Sunghoon's ears too Heeseung started grinding harder on you now...he was only in his robe so the friction made you gag.
you couldn't wait any longer..not with Heeseung on top of you like that..not with Sunghoon watching you like that.
"Oppa please" you pleaded, your eyes glossy
"please what sweetheart?" "please fuck me" "oh yea?"
his hands came up at your throat, tugging hard, choking you. You gasped for air but still leaned onto the touch. Loving every bit of it.
"Tell me..can any other man ruin you like I do?" Hee whispered around your neck licking the previously bitten flesh.
"No awgh no they can't" he gave a proud chuckle then came face to face with you..while his smile started disappearing from his face..
"will you ever cheat on me?" that made you stop in your tracks. Your brows raised before you shook your head in no.
"No baby I would never" sure.
"you better not..cause you know" he finally took his robe off and came closer till your lips touched.
"I'm worse than Maddy's boyfriend"
"If I ever caught you cheating on me with another man....I'll kill you both"
he smirked after dropping a very serious warning. You gulped when he started kissing your neck you looked back at Sunghoon who seemed relaxed as if he didn't hear the terrifying warning.
and for the rest of the night...Heeseung proved you why no other man could ruin you like he does.....yet
Sunghoon stood there through the entire session watching you get railed in 7 different positions. his legs ached for him to go and sleep..but he still stayed there..watching you all vulnerable..and it did nothing but add a fuel to his growing fire.
————
"I've cleaned the whole house but do you want help in cooking too?" The middle aged helper auntie said to you.
"Ahh no no not at all... thank you for your work but I'll handle the cooking... please go home and rest now" you said giving her a polite smile and she went away..leaving once again you and Sunghoon alone in the big house and a rainy weather.
"Don't add too much salt... they won't like it" Sunghoon said warning you as you were about to add it to the soup you were making for his parents.
their parents were coming today for dinner after a long time.
Apparently they moved back to their town-village-sweet-small-home after leaving the family business to their sons. Both his parents loved simplicity and despite the amount of wealth they obtained..they still were attached to the ground.
Sunghoon chose ice skating as his career so ultimately Heeseung became the CEO, and even though Sunghoon owns half the business..in present time, Heeseung is the one leading it..
"got it" you said avoiding his eyes and dropped the salt back in the container.
"Yknow it's a bad thing to not thank someone when they've helped you, right??" he chuckled moving to the refrigerator to get something.
"Yknow it's a bad thing to watch a couple make love, right?"
He froze at that. He turned around to see you leaning on the counter. Your eyes boring into his. He gulped but tried to play cool.
"It's not my fault you kept the door open...and moaned like a slut" your cheeks flushed red at that sentence...so you tried to defend yourself.
"You know I could've told Heeseung about you"
"But you didn't"
Sunghoon tilted his head while looking at you and there you realised that you actually fucked yourself up by saying this thing. He started coming closer in slow deliberate steps and you couldn't move nowhere till you were trapped between the counter and him.
"you could've told Heeseung hyung...but you didn't" he clicked his tongue as if disappointed by your actions while on the inside he was more than enjoying it.
"I wonder why" he whispered closer to your left ear and for a minute you forgot how to breath.
BUZZ
Your breath only came back when you guys were interrupted with the sound of a doorbell ruining the sizzling chemistry. You quickly pushed him away gently and went to the door..expecting either Heeseung or his parents waiting. But what you didn't expect was her.
Sunghoon's girlfriend.
You opened the door to a brunette with the same facial features you saw in Sunghoon's phone. So it was her. The cheater girlfriend. Surprisingly, she was not a bitch and bowed a little upon seeing you to which you also bowed back.
"Hello I'm Sunghoon's girlfriend..for the family dinner...and you are??" "I'm Y/N..Heeseung's girlfriend" her mouth formed an "ah" of realisation. soon she entered inside and practically jumped on Sunghoon seeing him come towards her.
"Baby...I've missed you....so so much" she said kissing his cheek and pecking his lips.
You didn't like that.
————
"Heeseung and Sunghoon used to fight alottt..over small things.."
"Sunghoon always wanted what Heeseung had and Heeseung hated sharing anything with Sunghoon"
His mom spoke over the dinner to both you and Sunghoon's girlfriend. Laughing and reminiscing about the past times and the childhood banters...but what you all failed to realise was that...
..sometimes the childhood trait, instead of fading away, grows bigger with you.
Both brother just shrugged their shoulder hearing their mom's embarrassing stories. His dad also laughed..but then soon turned serious, taking everyone's attention.
"So what have you thought about marriage?" He asked Heeseung putting his hands on the table. Heeseung's eyes widened a little and he looked at you and then back to his father.
"Father what are you—"
"Y/N is a good girl..you two should totally get married" his father gave the advice pointing at you both. your cheekbones warmed up at that.
"On top of that.. they're both beautiful..you guys look very compatible together and would make pretty babies" his mother said eyeing you both with a future grandmother's hope in her eyes.
Sunghoon's grip tightened on the fork as he stopped whatever he was eating and to make things worse, his girlfriend also appreciated the couple.
"Really..you guys look well together..no lies" she said winking at you to which you just smiled.
Of course..the compliments were flattering but you were young, full of life and definitely not in a mood to settle anywhere near.
"We're young father..let's leave it to the future.... shall we?" Heeseung said holding your hand inside the table and soothed you down...which seemed to work as you finally calmed down and the dinner went back to normal with pasttime childhood stories.
But what wasn't normal was the way Sunghoon noticed how you eased in Heeseung's touch..how you rebelled against typical life..how you definitely had the fire...and he was gonna be the one to throw the fuel.
————
the fresh memory of Sunghoon flirting with his girlfriend shamelessly the whole night kept replaying like a horror movie in your head. loud thunderstorms happened in the sky..almost as if the clouds were mad too.
you let the hot water wash it all down but they pretty much had no effect as you were still thinking, remembering and getting flashbacks of how Sunghoon had her on the counter while everyone was having dessert... how you walked in on them and how he looked at you and said his girlfriend was his "dessert"
"pfft" you scoffed remembering it. what a cheesy thing to say.
But what really did it for you was how Sunghoon sticked with her all the time..like a puppy in love...and said it infront of everyone at the table that him and astey were "endgame"....that they were bound to end up together and how noone could change that...while you mentally laughed
As if he wasn't cheating on her with a new girl every other night..
But you shooed those thoughts away...I mean of course..it's his life...his love life...you have one of your own too...and literally 3 weeks ago you didn't even care about any Sunghoon like that..so it's better to go back now aswell.
You draped the towel around your body..finally feeling the relaxation as the muscles in your body also seemed to relax themselves. you turned the shower off but the shower of the clouds still happened outside..a very rainy soily atmosphere..something that was your favorite..but your mind was elsewhere now...there was noone at home right now.
Heeseung went to drop his parents off and Sunghoon went to drop his girlfriend off. Huh what a performative boyfriend..if he cared that much...why didn't he pick her up too?
You came in your room and started applying lotion all over your body..but a certain strand of hair got stuck in the back hook of your necklace.."ouchhh" you tried to pull it but it started hurting more.
You were practically unable to move your neck like that..soon you heard the bedroom door open..you previously heard the car sounds and the front door open too..so you assumed it was one of the brothers...and fortunately hopefully not any serial killer..But when your bedroom door opened, you were certain it was Heeseung.
"Baby! come help me it's stuck!"
The man walked closer to you and started untangling the hair from the chain. you felt relief as you could finally move your neck and looked up in the mirror to see the man who was helping you and it infact was not Heeseung...but his younger brother..Sunghoon..your eyes widened a little.
You were just in your robe..and he was standing body to body close to you...your body shivered from the sudden skin contact.. you tried to get away but he sneaked his hands around your abdomen trapping you in a backhug and rested his chin on your shoulder as if he was your lover...right lover..
"W—What a—are you doing Sunghoon—"
"what I should've done a long time ago"
he smiled at you. Too pure for the stunt he was about to pull next..he digged his nose in the flesh of your neck and smelled the body wash, the body oil and body lotion on you..his eyes rolling back..he came back in his senses soon and looked at you straight in the mirror.
Seeing you practically breathless..looking directly into your eyes in the mirror, he gave a loud smooch on your shoulder. The kind of peck that made a lewd sound. that kind of punched some air back in you..and you realised what you guys were actually doing.
"Su—Sunghoon stop— no—" he rested his chin on your shoulder again and smiled looking at you.
"why because you're not a cheater?"
"no but because I'm not your lover"
"I'm not yours Sunghoon, I'm your brother's lover"
that made him drop his smile and his already hard grip on your abdomen tightened even more.
"Really???? then why it knock the air out of you when I called astey my endgame???? Huh???? Or even better..why did you disappear into your room for a while when you saw me kissing my girlfriend?????"
the dozen questions started filling your already fogged brain and you blurted out
"Cause I respect your relationship and I respect you!"
"Then don't." he said dead looking into your eyes.
"I don't want your respect...I want your love"
he whispered and his chin soon lifted from your shoulder..his hands sneaked around to where your towel was and he tugged at it..you could've stopped him, should've stopped him..but you didn't.
surprisingly he didn't pull it down but just fixed it even tighter... tight enough that your cleavage and your curves were now popping out of that thin brown towel..you took a sharp breath at the tightness and how it seemed to cage you.
"you look lethal..doll"
he whispered and started roaming his hands around your body. you joined your legs together ashamed at that fact that even through the towel was separating his hands from your skin, you still felt his touch, still felt his warmth.
his long slender fingers caressed the dip in between your breasts then ...they rubbed your waist...soon going down to rub your ass and then stroke your bare thighs...you almost let out a gasp at that...in a reflex he turned you around so now you were facing his tall figure, you kept your eyes on his chest..
embarrassed to meet his eyes..embarrassed of the situation you were in...embarrassed of how you couldn't stop it..embarrassed of what you were becoming.
He lifted your chin gently and looked you in the eye and whispered low.
"If I had a dollar for everytime I thought of ruining you in hyung's bed..I'd be a fucking millionaire"
As soon as his words finished, a loud thunderstorm happened in the sky again..raining even heavier..as if it was warning you..and from there it happened.
You didn't know who moved first, who closed the gap, or who started it.
but the kiss happened nevertheless. it was gentle at first, frozen, almost awkward, as if two teenagers felt the sensation of having their lips touched for the first time..but just in one second, Sunghoon closed his eyes and moved at a speed like he was hungry for a week. (Fair enough..he was for three weeks.)
you also tried to match his pace..resulting in a very intense makeout. He kissed your lips, then your cheek and went down licking your neck. you grabbed at his locks.. tears forming in your eyes from how wrong it all was.
Your inner self beliefs that you held onto for years were crumbling.
falling like house of cards.
but it only made the other side of you hungrier, so you pulled Sunghoon back to your lips and started giving open mouth kisses. the whole bedroom filled with sounds of kissing and licking, sucking, sounds of humming...and much more.
You started undressing him and his shirt fell on the floor somewhere. licking and sucking on his neck and pecs. he moaned at that sensation of your juicy lips on his soft skin. He pulled you back for a kiss..his hands going to the towel to make it fall.
"Where are you baby?"
But too bad..his dreams remained dreams.. when Heeseung's voice cut through the heated moment like a sharp blade.
Heeseung apparently got home and was searching for you in the hall downstairs. That immediately made you open your eyes and you stepped back from him, widenening your eyes and touching your lips as if you've just seen a ghost of Sunghoon.
Sunghoon scoffed at your hypocritical behavior and rolled his eyes..knowing that now Heeseung's here..you were gonna act like a saint again....
he picked his shirt up annoyingly from the floor and went away to his bedroom before Heeseung could come..slamming your door hard to make it sting your ears. You quickly looked in the mirror and fixed your hair and your towel. the door of your room opened revealing your dear boyfriend.
He gave a tired smile at you, little wet on the shoulder from the rain and hugged you. his Prada Luna Rossa Ocean perfume filling all your senses to the brim. he looked at the thin towel that wrapped you and smirked before murmuring.
"I'll make you rain today"
————
"so here's a question for Y/N!!!...have you ever thought of another man when having sex with Heeseung?"
the whole crowd cheered answer,answer,answer
"if it's a no, you'll drink this bitter drink...and if it's a yes...you'll tell us that man's name!!"
Yunjin cheered placing the bitter drink infront of you. A cold sweat broke out of you. Surely you haven't right? Right?...You looked up from the drink to see everyone patiently waiting for you to finish your turn on whatever stupid game they were playing right now.
your eyes went to Heeseung, he was laid back, too relaxed..like a man who knew his women too well...then your eyes went to where Sunghoon was..he was looking direct at you with the same confidence Heeseung had.
knowing very well that despite everything..you definitely fantasized about him...at least once..you felt torn and you were.
The you who always stood by truth...were you gonna lie to save your relationship? or be honest and save your morals???....fortunately, the former was much more important to you right now. you faked a big big smile and yelled out in purely made up excitement.
"Of course not!" took the glass and sipped the bitter drink in one go. It tasted like pure poison. as if it was also punishing you for lying. you placed the cup back and looked at Heeseung, he just blew out an air kiss, not surprised at your answer but still that gave him a huge ego boost. A false one.
from the corner of your eyes, you saw Sunghoon get away from the game with the excuse of getting water. And oh god, why did it hurt seeing him like that?..well maybe because these past few days, you were nothing but cruel to him.
ever since the kiss happened, you practically and literally became a cheater, one way or the other..and that ate you alive. so you avoided Sunghoon..being in your room the whole time Heeseung would be out..leaving no chance for anything. you thought distance would fix everything.
just like how Maddy suggested you, "Out of sight, out of mind" then why did it hurt seeing him walk away?
————
you hugged Yunjin as she hugged you back. "Yknow we should have these lunch parties more often..they're funnn..!!" "sure we should" you replied finally bidding your byes to everyone and got inside the car.
It was Sunghoon's car. He was driving. while you and Heeseung were in the backseat. as soon as Sunghoon started driving, Heeseung started kissing your neck. The red dress you wore only inviting his beast in more.
you made eye contact with Sunghoon in the rear mirror and God did it feel bad? You felt guilty. Funny thing, you didn't know what for..Heeseung was your boyfriend, Sunghoon was the other man.
still it felt like you were cheating on him when Heeseung roamed his hands around your body.
"Ahh" a low moan escaped when his plump lips started giving open mouth kisses to your collabone. Sunghoon tightened his jaw, his eyes squinting while he focused on the road. your eyes opened from the pleasure and you saw how white Sunghoon's knuckles became cause of holding the steering wheel too firmly. you felt the danger.
"Baby let's reach home first" you tried to gently push Heeseung away from you, already tensing up. Heeseung didn't even acknowledge his younger brother's presence and raised a brow.
"Why love?" "I just—"
"don't make any love mess in my car."
Sunghoon spoke from front. his face stoic. tone clear. Heeseung just scoffed and replied.
"Who are you to tell me what should I do with my own wife?" the sudden wife caught both you and Sunghoon offguard.
"W—Wife?" you spoke low. He just chuckled.
"Yes..my wife, my life, my bitch, my girlfriend, my anything and everything" he whispered staring at you and kissed the side of your face, sucking on it.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes and took a sharp turn..In a way that moved Heeseung a little away from you..and the window glass hit his back... not too rough though. your eyes widened as you gripped the sheets at the rough driving.
"Awgh fuck brother don't you know how to drive huh?" Heeseung spoke annoyingly while you caressed his back. Sunghoon just shrugged his shoulders.
"Not my fault..you're not sitting properly"
"do I need to remind you who's the hyung here?"
"okay okay calm down.." you tried to sooth down Heeseung when you felt him getting riled up. it was the rudeness in Sunghoon's tone that annoyed Heeseung. you cupped his cheeks and tried to give the kind of sweet smile that would calm him down..but Heeseung wasn't in any mood to smile.
He was in a mood to fuck.
when you cupped his cheeks, he wasted no time in closing the gap and started kissing you..you got surprised but soon gave up. when you felt his warm lips run over yours. Heeseung was a good kisser. the kind that knocked the air out of you. the kind that made your knees weak.
you sneaked your arms behind his neck and tried to sit in a way which made your back face Sunghoon. cause something inside you still felt bad..so you tried to avoid the worse..even if the bad was still happening.
He pulled you closer by your waist and started kissing you deeper. the air between seemed to vanish and suddenly the car felt too hot and too small for what was growing between you two. Hee's hands went inside your dress and caressed your bare back, the coldness of his hands with the warmth of your back made you gasp and that made him enter his tongue inside your mouth.
He ate your mouth like he didn't just have lunch. he nibbled on your jawline, swirled his tongue all around your exposed breast areas (not wanting to strip you naked infront of his brother to see), the moans came pleading and vulnerable. No matter how much you tried to suppress it.
Sunghoon heard it all, saw it all, felt it all. his jaw ached from how it was clenched the entire ride, his knuckles turned dangerously white from how hard he gripped the wheel, his vision almost became blurry from seeing how Heeseung carried you inside bridal style..certainly going to smash you like he said...the imagination alone made him dizzy but he contained himself.
Reminding what the truth was..that you were infact not his..you were his brother's everything..
but the guilty conscience stopped once he used all of it..and now he was just determined to get you...no matter how the fuck you were.
His desire only grew for you and desire's the only thing that never dies.————
Sunghoon knew your weakness. It was the conflict of your inner beliefs. Of how one side of you wanted to remain pristine, traditional and truthful. but the other one of you craved danger, excitement, thrill.
He knew how much of a hypocrite you were and he used that against you. If anything, Sunghoon was an amazing manipulatior.
so he opened his book of manipulation and first and foremost.. used the no. 1 tactic known to mankind.
#trick one : Playing the victim.
He heard you coming downstairs for lunch since Heeseung was out for work and got up from his bed smirking to himself.about to start a game he has mastered over the years.
"and here it comes"
"yes yes I've sent you the files Jay, you just have to arrange them and then our group assignment will be done for good" you spoke on the phonecall while heading downstairs.
Was a break even a break even if it was filled with fucking assignments??
You huffed out and finally placed your phone somewhere about to enter the kitchen. just then you heard the sound of glass shattering from the kitchen, you stopped for a moment and then went inside.
"Oh my God" you whispered when you saw the big glass bowl shattered on the floor everywhere. Presumably by Sunghoon as he was the one picking up the chunks...with bare hand!!? Your eyes widened seeing that.
"Hey hey Sunghoon you shouldn't—" "owwww"
he yelped when he felt a glass cut through his palm.
"Oh my God you don't! just don't get away from it!!" you shouted at him and he got up, squinting his eyes from the pain.
Surprisingly the cut wasn't any sharp or deep, and only a drop of blood came out of it. as if it was digged on purpose..but you shrugged thinking msybe he had a low pain tolerance. "Here get up" you held his shoulders and made him sit on the sofa in the living room.
"Are you okay wait let me put on a bandaid" you said searching for one in the drawer and then finally dressed his cut. you were about to walk away from there to clean the glass pieces when you felt him tug at your hand. you looked at his hand and then down to were he was sitting.
"you healed the outer damage but what about the inner one??" you raised a brow not getting the meaning. He just chuckled though no actual laugh came out of it. suddenly he pulled your hand to himself which made you lose balance and you fell on his lap, stabilising your hands on his chest. Your body jerked from the sudden change.
"sunghoon what are you—"
"it must be so easy right? giving me attention when you want to and then leaving me in the dark when hyung arrives?" you took a sharp breath.
"what are you talking about" "oh yea? you got no idea?"
his hands started roaming around your back, touching you. and just a mere touch, just a mere touch like that broke such a sultry moan out of you, it surprised both you and Sunghoon. He scoffed
"maybe you got no idea but your body does" his hands came in front and he squeezed your breasts over your tight tshirt. you closed your eyes at the sensation of his big warm hands squeezing you.
"do you know how many nights I've thought of you while you were getting fucked by hyung???"
"do you know how much it pains to see you like that, away from me and my shadow?"
"letting Heeseung hyung take all of you while I starve to death???" he whispered these words and attached his forehead to yours forcing your eyes open to look at him.
He sounded like a yearner..and sure he was...but he was exaggerating the reality.
you looked at him gulping hard, your lips inches apart, only one move was stopping you both from kissing but it was as if someone slapped you and you pulled away, getting up. you looked down fixing your dress, avoiding his eyes.
"I—I'll clean the glass and bring the lunch to the table..wait there"
he ruffled his hair out of frustration. This bitch just won't give up. But forutnately, he had many cards up his sleeve.
Here..let's have lunch you said placing two plates of pasta on the table as if nothing ever happened.
#trick two : Guilt tripping
If you were gonna pretend like nothing happened seconds ago..well fine then..two can play the game.
"let's play something..just eating is boring" he said leaning back looking you, you just gave a nervous laugh and finally looked up at him.
"Play sure but what?"
"Two truths, one lie" he replied, his gaze fixed on you.
"I'm sure you know the rules, don't you?"
you just cleared your throat, "sure I do well.." "let the game begin then.." you digged the fork and ate your pasta, already preparing for what was about to come. but somewhere inside you felt excitement bubble up in your chest.
"Here I go with my threes..one, I fucked Heeseung's first love..(truth)...two, I fucked all his girlfriends....(lie) three, I'll fuck his current girlfriend soon...(truth)"
you felt the table tilt.
"Wha—I—....the third one is the lie. " you said with full confidence and you know it annoyed him.
"Negative..the second one was a lie" he chuckled
"you really think I have fucked all his girlfriends nah...even tho I slept with his first love..she's the only one yet"
he mentally scoffed that you really believe he won't fuck Heeseung's current girlfriend, you, soon.
"Okay my turn...one, I once got gangbanged by my homeboys when I was 19 (truth)....two, I only love Heeseung (truth)..... three, I don't like sex (lie)"
"I know all three are lies" you just rolled your eyes,
"obviously not Sunghoon"
"Okay let's level up the game, I'll give you two about yourself..you have to guess which one's the lie okaay?????" "O..kay that's easyyyy"
"Be careful, lie will be hard to detect" he said winking at you.
"We'll see about that" you placed your arms on the table, waiting.
"one is that you're a hypocrite"
"two is that you're a hypocrite who kisses your boyfriend's brother and then goes and fucks the boyfriend like nothing happened "
In a flash, the air turned serious, the playful smile you had finally dropping after Sunghoon finally confronted you face to face. you felt blood rush in your face as if you were held at a gunpoint. He placed the fork back in the plate after finishing his lunch and chuckled seeing your face pale up, he got up from the dining table and walked towards you.
the last and the only tactic was left now.
#trick three : degradation
He took slow and deliberate steps towards you and lifted your face making you face him, all of a sudden he bend down to your level and licked the side of your lip that had sauce on. you took a hard gulp standing up.
"I—" "what happened baby? Can't handle the truth?....hmm such a spoiled brat."
"It's not like that—" he slid his arms around your waist and pulled you chest to chest close with him.
"remember when I said Heeseung hyung didn't deserve you cause you were too good?" you looked at him, breathing heavily.
"My bad.. I take it back..you are the one who doesn't deserve hyung..you're a whore..good for noone.."
that made you gasp and you tried to plead him. If there was any omega inside you, she sure was hurt hearing that. You gripped his tshirt tight, whispering low.
"I—I'm not a whore..I—I just.."
"you what baby..? wearing these tight tees that popped your boobs out, these tiny shorts that practically showed your ass..wearing skirts and bending down..craving for my eyes on you and you think I don't notice???"
he sneaked his hands inside your skirt rubbing your thighs and you cursed yourself when he made contact with some sticky wetness that pooled on your inner thigh.
"So wet for me and we didn't even do anything" he just scoffed
"so miserable..now you know how I felt."
with his other hand he pulled you closer by your hair until your lips were practically touching. long deep breaths came getting tangled. the heatness escalated. the clouds roared again.
but he knew he won his favorite game again when he felt you close the gap and kiss him. he closed his eyes, loving the feeling and pulled you close.. kissing you back, biting and nibbling on your lower lip which made you yelp and moan in pain.
His hands went all around your body as if already knew where to touch to make the weakest moans break out of you. you felt yourself getting lifted and broke the kiss opening your eyes to see that he was taking you to his bed.
by now, any and every moral you had were burned to the ground. you still felt bad for Heeseung but tried to convince yourself that Sunghoon started this. trying to gaslight yourself into thinking that you still had something left but Sunghoon wasn't gonna let that happen.
He placed you on the ground and walked inside the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, inviting you inside. "Come on baby, sit infront of me"
you followed what he said and sat on the ground on your knees while his figure towered you sitting on the bed. from nowhere he pulled a ruler. A sharp, sleek and metal ruler.
"my doll..are you into bdsm?" You looked up at him and nodded lightly. He just smiled with his canines, patting your head.
"then should I try this on you?" He said shaking the ruler infront of you. you bit your lips and then whispered low, "yes"
"well since you want this" "Ahhh!"
a loud smack went on your back, you didn't expect it so soon. You straightened your back rubbing the spot. He threw the ruler away.
he said picking you up from the ground and placed you nicely on his bed ripping his and your clothes off. He got on top of you sucking your breasts and squeezing the other body parts while you roamed your nails around his pale muscular body and touched his back pulling him closer, he looked at you and then asked,
"do you want this?" you nodded.
"No.. not like that..tell me how bad do you want this??? do you want this as much as I do????"
You pulled him closer by the back of his neck and whispered,
"I want this more than you do."
and for the rest..Sunghoon proved you why Heeseung wasn't the only man who knew how to ruin you..
————
the sun started going down..dusk approaching soon. you gripped and pulled the silk blanket closer to your naked body. a small sigh escaping you when you looked out of the window.
Heeseung was about to come home now...tired from working all day..he was gonna see you..smile at you and love you...having no idea that you slept with his brother behind his back. tears formed in your eyes and you felt a lump in your throat.
if shame wasn't gonna kill you, guilt sure will.
Sunghoon placed his phone back on the side table when he saw you zone out. He pulled your body closer to his.
"thinking of hyung?" the gentleness in his voice made your tears drop one by one, unable to stop themselves. you sobbed a little looking at him.
"Sunghoon I—I cheated on him..I feel so bad"
"I'm sorry I was the one who—" "no no you weren't..I did this all..oh I'm such a bad girlfriend" you said biting your lower lip wiping your tears.
Sunghoon didn't want to tell you this..felt like he wasn't supposed to do that or didn't have the right to do that..but seeing you like that..he had no other option.
"YN ah.....I..there's something you need to know...something you should know" he said looking at you with his brows knitted. Your tears stopped and you looked at him.
"What....is it???" "I don't know if I should or shouldn't..since he's my brother too but—" he fumbled with his words.
"What is it about hoon—" "Hyung is cheating on you"
you felt the ground tilt as if someone removed the bed from below you and dropped you in deep water. your body numbed.
Hyung is cheating on you
Hyung is cheating on you
Hyung is cheating on you
a tear rolled down from which eye you couldn't even tell cause all you saw was the sweet memories you had with Heeseung..the way he smiled at you..sure you just cheated on him too..but what did he mean that Heeseung was seeing someone else??
you scoffed not believing a cent of it.
"You're lying hoon..you're just trying to make me feel better about myself..since I just had sex with you..you're just trying to heal me with false facts!!!"
Sunghoon gulped at your reaction. He expected that. knew it all too well.
"but I'm not lying.. love...Hyung has been cheating on you even before you cheated on him..with his mistress..."
your breathing worsened at that new piece of info.
"W—What..?? W—Who..?"
"with J..his female friend..as far as I remember..he met her four months ago and brought her to a hotel and came home late at night sometimes"
your eyes widened at that.
"I asked him once..and he just called her a quickfuck..pointing out that he still loved you"
you laughed at that. really laughed . Loud.
"What bullshit is this huh?" "The same bullshit you're doing"
"what do you mean awggghh" you annoyingly shouted.
"you love Heeseung and fucked me..did the love for him disappear?"
"do not try to justify his actions"
"Justify whose actions baby? Mine? Yours? Or his?"
"aren't we all cheaters here ????"
"but it hurts Hoon! knowing Hee was doing what behind me hurts me so fucking much!!! even if I did the same thing, even if I don't deserve or even if anything else happens..!!!"
"I can't just turn the hurt switch off! I'm a human not a vampire or supernatural being...!!..I'm still going to be hurt...!"
you yelled as your tears rolled down your cheek.. he wiped your tears and cupped your cheeks to make you look at him
"That's how I felt when my girlfriend first cheated on me.."
He pulled you closer in a hug, giving you a piece of advice to last forever.
"the only rule in life, don't trust anyone"
————
Heeseung opened the front door and started putting his shoes off. He bought a cake for you today..a chocolate one..your favorite one..
"Where are you love?" he shouted for you but like usual days he got no response. He put the cake on the countertop and looked at Sunghoon who was drinking a beer, watching FIFA mexico vs south korea.
"Yo brother where's my girl??" Sunghoon already got annoyed at the "my girl" but then shruggged.
"Your girl, you should know." Heeseung scoffed.
"why are so always fucking rude? you gotta learn some manners Hoon really..before I throw hands."
He placed the beer on the table and walked towards his brother coming infront of him.
"Oh really? now you'll teach me manners? hyung..in order to teach someone manners you need to have some too which you don't."
Heeseung chuckled at how disrespectful child, his younger brother grew up.
"that's it..I'm not talking to you ever again"
Sunghoon scoffed at that and went back to the couch.
"Like I wanna talk to you."
Heeseung and Sunghoon were indeed close as brothers...but they both shared the same bad traits..which made them clash at times.
just then you walked out of the study with completed assignment papers in your hand. Heeseung grew heart eyes when he finally found you. "Baby?"
you were genuinely distracted by the assignment shit to even notice him coming but as soon as you saw his pearly smiling face, you got reminded of what Sunghoon told you.
"Hyung has been cheating on you even before you cheated on him"
and you didn't know if it was hallucination or not..but you felt as if his smile was also a lie, as if the way he made love to you was also a lie, as if every effort he made and everything he did was also a lie.
So you didn't smile back or hugged him back when he came and hugged you. But it didn't help the way his large figure almost made your smaller one disappear, or how good he smelled even when tired.
He felt the lack of hands on his back and opened his eyes to see you not hugging him back. his smile descended.
"Is there something wrong baby??" you looked at him, he looked worried.
"Do you really love me Lee Heeseung ?"
Sunghoon's ears perked up at the question. He previously warned you not to ask anything that would raise suspicion..cause if Heeseung knew that you guys knew..it would not end well.
even worse if he found out what you guys did.
Heeseung just smiled at that.
"What kinda question is that??" "just answer me"
"Of course I do..I love you more than anyone else can..more than you love me..more than you can even imagine" and still cheated.
you tried to contain yourself but you felt your lashes get wet. So you quickly pulled him for a hug.
What an irony. the irony of the situation was ridiculously funny in many ways.
"Is there something wrong YN?"
"you'll never leave me..right?" "I'd never."
you brought him closer and attached your lips onto his. kissing him. he gladly kissed back. squeezing your waist. the sounds almost made Sunghoon's ears bleed before they stopped.
"you'll always be with me my love...you'll become my wife, the mother of my kids..and stay with me till we both die"
he held your chin and looked at you. tightening his grip, he said.
"I won't ever let you go, even if you try to"
He was obsessed and that was what you wanted..what you needed to hear...in order to still stay with him in this relationship...in order to still work things out. you grabbed at his collar.
"show me how much you love me" you whispered on his lips.
"say less" he replied and dragged you into the bedroom.
Sunghoon just laughed at himself for how fucked up all of this was.
————
"yeah you look fabulous in this one love...consider it final for tonight!"
he said admiring your curves on this dress and gave a peck on your lips "I'll come in about two hours..I have some files to sort and then we'll go to the party" "Okay love byee"
you said giving a reassuring smile and came back inside the house but you didn't have much time to process before you were slammed onto your back on the wall as Sunghoon started sucking your neck.
"Fuck you look dangerous in this lbd..it was so hard to control myself right now" he said swirling his tongue all over your flesh, you grabbed his neck and pulled him for a kiss..entering your tongue and tasting him.
soon you guys separated cause your legs started aching and he made you sit on the couch, magically pulling something from his pocket.
"What's this??" "It's a mini vibratior.." you rolled your eyes and hit his chest lightly.
"I know that hoon but..are you planning to use it on me like right now?..Hoon I have to workout right now—"
"not at all, doll. this is for the evening for you. Hyung brought you this dress so I brought the vibrator."
You chuckled at that.
"And you expect me to wear this to the formal business party??"
"Why not? It's noiseless, it'll disappear in you since it's mini and most of all..I'll be gentle with the remote"
He cupped your cheeks in his hand..
"Can't do this much for me?? come on YN ah..stop being so vanilla"
then he pulled back from you.
"Or maybe it's not your cup of tea..so leave it"
"I'll do it" you said taking the vibrator away from his hands. He smirked.
Bingo.
"but promise that you'll be gentle?? Hm??Oh my love..I don't make promises"
"then I won't wear it.." you replied raising a brow.
"Okay fine I promiseeeee" he rolled his eyes, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
————
"Yknow many of those big investors are also coming today.." Heeseung said to you while he drove towards the destination.
"It's gonna be a memorable night for us" Hee excitedly claimed while kissing the back of your hand to which you just gave him an eye smile. Sunghoon just chuckled to himself in the backseat.
Sure it was gonna be one.
————
your heels clicked when you stepped on the rooftop..where the party was held. "Ohhh you're here..Heeseung!"The middle aged man who was the host of this party smiled at Heeseung, giving him a hug. Heeseung also smiled back greeting him.
"Hello Y/Nieee! You must be his girlfriend!" the host's wife said hugging you. "Yes I am..nice to meet you" "You're beautiful" you smiled at that. The host also met Sunghoon and then said to you all.
"Enjoy the night please"
you entered inside..it bloomed with wealth, power and respect. high class people, slow music and romantic vibe..
"wanna get a drink, love?" Heeseung whispered near your ear
"sure" you said clinging your arms with his and you both walked to the bar where drinks were being served.
"two vodka please" Heeseung said to the bartender while you fixed how you were sitting. even if the vibrator was small, you still felt it inside you and it did things it shouldn't do to you right now. you started sipping on the drink with Heeseung's hands intertwined with yours. Soon a girl came beside ordering whiskey. her voice shrill.
Heeseung's composure tensed at that. He almost choked on that vodka he was gulping down. you felt the change in the atmosphere. you looked at the girl, reddish brown hair and she reeked of alcohol. Your eyes immediately searched for Sunghoon. there you saw him he was also looking at you. He nodded his head, letting you know she was that girl.
"J, hyung's mistress/friend will also come to this party..I'll tell you when I see her"
Sunghoon told you this back at home.
Your blood boiled seeing her. You bit your lips trying to control your emotions. This was not the right place. you looked at Heeseung, his face looked pale, almost as if he didn't expect her today, here, at all.
"I'm J.. Heeseung's friend" your eyes went back to her when you saw her hand close to yours, inviting you for a handshake.
Lmao the audacity. you scoffed a little and accepted the handshake.
"I'm Y/N..Heeseung's fiancée" both their faces turned one of shock hearing that while Sunghoon just chuckled from afar, sipping his drink. "Possessive girl..."
you could tell the girl wasn't expecting it neither your boyfriend.
"F—Fiancée?" The girl said in surprise looking over at Heeseung and then you. Heeseung didn't say anything the whole time..focusing on his drink.
"Yeah fiancée..Heeseung plans on marrying me" J just scoffed at that.
"I see, good for you then.." then J walked away leaving you both.
Heeseung just smiled at you, sort of amused at this new side.
"Baby? Fiancée?"
"I mean you called me your wife infront of your brother..I had to return the favor...so how could I not???"
He just laughed at your speciality. Afterall there was a reason why J was the mistress..and YOU were the girlfriend. The one who lived in his mansion, the one who had access to all his cards, the one he shared his precious room with.
You were the chosen one, of course.
that gave you an instant ego boost and you pulled him closer to you. He gave a light peck on your cheek and then your jaw, chin, neck. Not wanting to ruin the lipstick.
"the love story's over now"
Sunghoon said his gaze fixed on you and started the vibrator at level 1. everything felt okay but suddenly you felt a spike at your core. your body started trembling you looked over to Sunghoon and that bastard smirked at you, raising his glass at you. your body started shaking, you held the counter,
Heeseung was nuzzled in your neck but he felt you tremble. "Hey are you okay baby?" He said all of a sudden turning worried.
"Y—Yes I'm okay" you looked over at Sunghoon and he motioned with his both hands for you to distance yourself from Heeseung.
This jerk. You looked back at your boyfriend.
"W—Why don't we go and sit with everyone? The host is about to start his speech!" you said with full fake excitement though you were trying to control your trembling as Sunghoon didn't turn off the vibrator yet. Heeseung seemed disappointed but agreed when he saw others sitting for the speech.
"Let's go then "you felt relief when Sunghoon finally turned the vibrator off. you sat with mrs host of the party and other ladies while Heeseung chatted with the other CEOs, all of them appreciating Heeseung for handling such a big corporate at just a young age of 25.
"So..Y/Niee these are my friends, miss lee, miss kim and miss park she introduced you to other female CEOs."
"Oh thank you so much nice to meet you.."
you felt royalty when you shook hands with them.
Wealth surely mattered.
"I'm currently in my senior year in University and— ah!"
you felt the similar buzz in your core, the vibrator turned on again, and it was definitely more intense than level 1, probably level 2 or 3.
your eyes shot up searching for wherever he was and you found him talking and laughing with J, having drinks with her and didn't spare you a glance as if he wasn't ruining you right now.
"Hey miss are you okay???" the ladies asked concerned.
"Y—Yeah I—I just need a minute..I think I'm getting stomach cramps" the ladies just nodded their head in understanding.
You walked out of the table and got into a corner, trying to hold onto a wall trying your best to look like you were having a headache and not that your cunt was vibrating. you looked over at Sunghoon and same as before he laughed with J, even handing her drinks. You gritted your teeth.
The overstimulation, jealousy, territoriality, and more than anything..sexual frustration was starting to kill you. You took long inhales of air trying to compose yourself. You went near where the wind was blowing and held onto the railings. the vibrator suddenly stopped, you finally relaxed and looked back to see Sunghoon approaching you, finally no sign of the bitchy J.
But too bad for you, suddenly Jay came in your sight.
"Hey YN ah! What a coincidence!" Jay shouted in excitement suddenly pulling you in a hug.
Too bad
Awgghhhhhh. You felt the vibrator get turned on again and reach its probably the maximum level. You held onto Jay's shoulder. Your legs practically trembling now, not being able to hold it any longer. You felt your climax reaching but no..a big no because you couldn't do that right now and it frustrated you even more.
You gripped at his shoulder blades , trying your best to not make a sound or shake.Jay pulled you out of hug.
"Hey hey what happened did I hug too hard???" he asked worried.
Oh Jay.
"She's cool buddy leave her to me" "who are you?"
I'm..—"
Sunghoon's words stopped at that. Cause what exactly were you two even?
"It's okay Jay, I know him..I'm feeling a bit unwell so I need to rest a little" you said wiping the cold sweat off of your forehead.
"Whatever you say then princess but call me if you need, yeah?" You looked at him "yeah yeah I will"
trying your hardest to not break into a moan. As soon as Jay disappeared you dragged Sunghoon into a dimly lit room. You tugged hard at his collar.
"Turn it off now!!" He chuckled and lightly but firmly held onto your throat. "Say please babydoll"
Your eyes rolled but you couldn't bargain now, not like this. When your whole body was buzzing, when you felt you were close, when everything seemed to blur.
"Please please please hoon please....!!" You held his shoulders and buried your face in his chest. Desperately chanting the plead.
"Okay then" "oh...my...." you felt life come back at you. and suddenly everything returned to normal.
Your vision got vivid and clear again and you felt your legs have strength in them again. But unfortunately, your high peak of almost releasing also went back to zero leaving you more than ever sexually frustrated.
You grabbed his throat, "I fucking hate you Sunghoon. you said you'll be gentle!"
He just came closer and gave a hard bite at your lower lip. "you look sexy when you're mad..." and then he entered his tongue inside your mouth, ruining your lipstick, making you breathless, you grabbed at his locks, pulling him closer, he started grinding on you, not even caring anymore if anyone walked in on you.
since Sunghoon's back was facing the door which hid you, people would just assume it's a couple and walk off. He held one of your legs and started kissing them from the ankle to the inner thigh where you were a little wet .
"Fucking bomb..Want me to turn the vibrator on again???'
He whispered near your ear. You just glared at him. but you guys stopped knowing that this was not the right place to go any further, not scared of anyone else but Heeseung.
He laughed caressing your hair and with his handkerchief and fixed your smudged lipstick. You looked in the mirror and reapplied your lipstick and compact. you guys came inside and the speech had already started by then. You sat at the back.
Heeseung joined you then. "Where the fuck were you?"
"I—I was meeting Jay" "Jay who?" He raised his eyebrow at the mention of another man.
"He's my friend." He intertwined his fingers with yours and tightened the grip till your fingers couldn't move at all.
"from the next time, you're not disappearing on me and meeting a man without me."
"Okay baby" you said leaning back and watching the speech, looking at Sunghoon to see him laughing with J and a brunette. You scoffed.
Everyone was a whore here.
————
Heeseung came out of the shower, drying his neck with the towel, he then looked at you. You were eating strawberries with your mouth like that..opening and closing around the fruit.
"like the view..?" You asked looking at him. He giggled.
"how could I not when you know how dangerous you are???"
You pulled him by the towel he had on his waistband. Roaming your hands all around his semi wet body. Sunghoon was out for his figure skating practice..so you two were alone in the house.Heeseung saw his black tie on the couch and immediately got an idea..
"come on love let's do something kinky" he grabbed the tie.
"What do you mean Hee?" "you'll know soon" he wrapped the tie around your eyes like a blindfold completely blacking out your vision of him with it for some time.
"I'll give you three seconds sweetheart, tell which part of body it is..by sucking"
You bit your lip at that. "come on baby I can guess everything."
He placed his middle finger infront of you mouth. "Come on suck it and tell me" you hesitatingly pulled your mouth forward and immediately met his finger. "Ahh too easy"
you took it inside your mouth and started sucking on it, licking it. "Aahhh" moans broke out of him. This stance of you sucking his finger turning him on for something else. You pulled away.
"That's you finger!" "But which one?" "Hmm gotta suck once more for that" you took the finger inside your mouth again, rolling your tongue over it and trying to get its size.
"It's the middle finger!" "Correct..good girl..guess this one" he came closer to you and placed his chest close to your mouth.
you opened your mouth and it went down to his pecs instead so you started sucking on them.
"Ahh you're not supposed to do that." "Oh did I get your boobs?" He gave a light smack at your head at that.
"No but well..your turn now." You opened the blindfold tie and switched places. You quickly took off your silk mini dress you were wearing and picked your boob lifting it so that his mouth would reach the underside of your breast and not the front. He licked it and started sucking on it
"ahh baby sloww you're supposed to guess" he bit your skin at that. "Ow what for?" "let a man have his time to guess, woman"
"It's under your breasts" "wow cool"
You then lifted your leg and made him suck the backside of your limbs. He kissed them. "Your legs""..but what location particularly??"
"I'm assuming...the front?" "Nope you lose" You took the blindfold off. "would I still lose if I leave you shaking in this bed for another three hours????"
he whispered on your lips and let the tie drop on the floor, pinning your hands above your head and removing his towel off.You caressed his inner thigh and placed both hands on his shoulder blades.
"Lemme ride you Hee"
————
Sunghoon dropped his duffle bag on his bedroom floor and plopped on the bed sighing from how exhausted he was from the practice. Soon he heard sultry sounds coming from his brother's room.
"Awggghh" He put on his headphones trying to scroll on his phone but it was as if they, the sounds were crawling on him.the sound of making love.
Your voice.
He knew Heeseung had a habit of sleeping deeply after he smashed you..and Sunghoon got a very funny idea.
————
you were scrolling on your phone while Heeseung cuddled you from behind, sleeping soundly, his soft snores tickling at your ear. you fixed yourself a little away from Heeseung, but his grip got tighter. Out of the blue, you got a call from Maddy. It lasted a few minutes before you asked her a question.
"Maddy..tell me one thing"
"What's it babe?"
"Is it possible to love two people at the same time?"
you said as low as possible not even sure if she heard it at all. you looked back at Heeseung, he was still snoring..you looked at his face and saw the usual relaxed demeanor meaning he was still deep asleep.
"why baby are you, the saint, even daring to look at another man other than your boyfriend?" You sighed at her question. Wanting to tell her everything but at the same time. It felt too risky. Maybe not today. You thought.
"It's worse Maddy.."
Your ears perked up when the door of your bedroom creaked open and Sunghoon came inside, in shorts and a tank top, his hair just dried, suggesting he showered a while ago. "I'll call you back bae"
You said ending the call and then looked at Sunghoon raising your brow. You and Heeseung were still naked but covered by the duvet.
You mouthed a "what" to which he just motioned with his finger to keep quiet. He sat on the edge of the bed and his hands went inside the duvet reaching your body. Almost taking a sigh of relief when he was accidentally gonna grab Heeseung's leg..but he soon found your smooth body.
you took a sharp breath, gently shaking your head as no, again and again. Heeseung was JUST beside you, he was cuddling you, it was too risky.
but for Sunghoon, that only added to the thrill.
His hands roamed around every part of your body which was already claimed by Heeseung an hour ago. He almost touched Heeseung's hand, your eyes widenening but he just smiled coming at your left side while Heeseung was at your right, sleeping soundly. His thumb massaged your lower lip before he dipped it inside letting you suck him. then he joined his lips with yours. you tried to hit at his chest. This was so so wrong. No.
You thought of being in Heeseung's place, if you slept and he kissed that J...and your blood boiled alone from the imagination so..you pulled away from the kiss.and you looked back at your boyfriend.
This was all so wrong.
You looked back at Sunghoon and gave him a peck on his lips, he took that seriously and started making out with you. He spotted the hickey Heeseung gave you and went over it..making it an even darker shade of red. remarking you as his. Your eyes kept going back at Heeseung. No. Yes. No. Yes. Your mind screamed at you..unable to choose.
the ecstasy of the moment, paired with guilt was enough to drive you crazy. you kissed Sunghoon again and then pulled away mumbling a "later" to save you both from any disaster.
He at first shook his head but then soon agreed rolling his eyes and kissed your forehead, mumbling a "rest well"and through all of that, one question still lingered on the back of your mind,
Is it possible to love two people at the same time?
————
The doors of the hotel room clicked shut when Heeseung closed the door with his one hand while the other carried a bouquet of flowers. It was Valentine's Day today. "so..you came?...Didn't think you would" Heeseung just chuckled.
"I'm good at balance bae..not called an ace for nothing" he came closer and gave the bouqet. "Red roses..but it's your girlfriend's favorite, not mine"
"Come on J, don't be petty."
Heeseung said massaging her cheeks together. "yknow we should really end this..since you wanna marry her anyway. "
He just laughed at that. "you say this..but you'll be the first one to crawl on your knees to me..when I stop doing it with you.."
"Or maybe you're just taking revenge?" His eyes dropped all the romance it had on them.
"taking revenge on your girlfriend since she fucks your brother..???"
she laughed at his face...
"and you call me petty..lol..heeseung own up a mirror to yourself" Heeseung grabbed her throat. "You think so?"
"I mean..I wouldn't blame her..you cheated on her first with me..and now that she's cheating on you too...you couldn't stand that..could you?"
"it hurt your male ego...didn't it?"
"stay in your limits, J."
"don't say that to me seungie when I was the one who told you.."
Flashback
J was going for another drink but due to her drunk self she stumbled upon a wall and fell into a corner..her ears perked up when she heard moans and sounds of kissing come out of a dimly lit room.
"Ouuu..who's the one going freaky here?" she peaked to see and her mouth fell open, she quickly recorded a 10 second video of you and Sunghoon kissing and sent it to his dear Heeseung after the party ended. she also typed out a text.
"look who's being an unfaithful girlfriend and a jerk brother here......"
Back to present
He just loosened his tie..and threw J on the bed.
"I mean..as long as she's keeping it within the family"
"within the family? Lmao..cope.. Hee.. however you want and pretend it doesn't affect you" J laughed at his pride that swelled up.
"It doesn't"
"You could always go for a poly relationship yknow?..but don't stop meeting me even then"
"Shut up and let me fuck you" he whispered and kissed her.
"We know about them but they don't know that"
he whispered and started giving her hickeys.
Letting his lust take over....and love shut down.
————
you caressed the gold trophy Sunghoon won by achieving 1st ranking in his figure skating competition. It gave him a lot of offers for the future aswell. He came from behind and backhugged you.
"So my master manipulator...how do you feel achieving this trophy??" "Master what?? pfft" he scoffed at the nickname and put the trophy down on coffee table. "The real trophy is you..who helped me with your assets when I felt stressed..." He stated squeezing your breasts, you just hit his shoulder lightly.
"By the way...it's 8 pm on a valentine's day..but where's your boyfriend?? Atleast I took my girlfriend out for lunch today before coming to you..."
You rolled your eyes but deep down.. you knew where he exactly was. Your loving boyfriend was living out his fantasy. You just wanted to call him and feel him..his love on you..but you didn't..
"He's fucking J..I know"
"We know about them but they don't know that"
Sunghoon said massaging your shoulders.Then you looked at him and pulled him closer by his collar.
"And I can fuck you"
You grabbed the whipped cream bottle and sprayed some on your abs. He smriked and started licking it. He then grabbed the bottle and formed a pout spraying some on his lips. You laughed.
"Lips..really!!?" You grabbed his neck and got on top of him on the couch. and started eating the whipped cream from his lips, the cream disappeared in a flash, leaving you two kissing for a long time.he started eating your lips and carried you to your bedroom, dropping you in his hyung's bed and stripped you both. He hugged you leaving no space and kissed your shoulder.
"Ahh Sunghoon fuck—"You like it doll? You nodded. "Such a whore for me..I turned you a cheater...."
"Would anyone else damage your morals like I did?"
"no fuck no Sunghoon" "I love you doll" "I love you too hoon" he stopped for a second since this was the first time you said that.
He giggled with his canines. and you caressed his silky soft hair between your fingers, looking him deep in the eye.Your nails went around his back. He gave you an open mouth kiss and placed your hands above your head, tying them with Heeseung's tie.
warnings: mdni! sexual content, toxic jungwon, sexual tension, jealousy, risky sex, rough sex, dubcon, coercion, dirty talk, teasing, p in v, unprotected sex (do not do it), fingering, multiple orgasms, strong language, creampie, light choking, a bit of yearning, reader can’t do casual, emotional manipulation
wc: 27k
note: i want to write shorter fics but i'm such a yapper bruh. hope you enjoy reading this ! i´ll start writing part two of top two next hehe < 3
taglist (you can comment!): @kristynaaah @hooniella @gentlestpour @heelvcr @heesvnqie @kazehee
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
the sound of his laughter was always just a little too quiet to hear from across the floor, but you always knew exactly when it happened. you could tell by the way the girls in marketing would suddenly lean over their desk dividers, or how the receptionist would find a reason to walk all the way to the printer on your side of the building just to catch his eye as he passed.
yang jungwon had a way of distributing himself so thinly that everyone felt like they had a piece of him, yet nobody actually held anything at all.
it was a strange kind of currency he traded in. he didn’t have the loud, exhausting arrogance of the men you usually avoided. he didn’t smirk, he didn’t linger a second too long in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable. he was just... soft. incredibly, terrifyingly attentive. he remembered how people took their tea, he noticed when someone looked a little tired, and he always had the right words to smooth over a mistake before the department head could even find out about it.
you had spent eight months watching the cycle repeat itself. a new girl would start in accounting or design, she would get overwhelmed by the workload, and jungwon would appear out of nowhere with a reassuring smile and a cup of coffee. and a few weeks later, she would be looking at him with that same dazed, mesmerized expression you saw on everyone else. he got his shifts covered, his spreadsheets double-checked, and an absolute shield of loyalty from the entire floor, all because he looked at people like they were the only thing that mattered in a room full of fluorescent lights.
you hated how clearly you saw the pattern. it made you feel detached, like a ghost lingering on the edges of a game everyone else was happily playing. loneliness did that to you — it made you hyper fixate on the details of other people’s lives because your own felt so hollow. and maybe, just maybe, it was also about the fact that you were the only person on this floor who he hadn't tried to use that gentle charm on yet. it felt spiteful, almost, like he knew you were watching and had decided you weren't worth the effort of the routine.
you bit the inside of your cheek, forcing your eyes back to your spreadsheet. do not look. do not care.
"you're going to get a headache if you keep staring at that screen without blinking, y/n." your pulse gave a stupid, frantic flutter before you could stop it. he was right there, his shadow leaning gently over the divider of your cubicle. he looked so terribly neat, the sleeves of his grey button down rolled up just to his forearms, his dark hair falling perfectly across his forehead. he didn’t look like someone who had just spent the last twenty minutes quietly convincing the senior supervisor to give him an extra week on his report. he just looked like a concerned coworker.
"i'm almost done." you whispered, your fingers staying frozen over the keyboard. you didn't want to look up. looking up meant acknowledging the way he was tilting his head, the way he was offering you that quiet, private space he seemed to create wherever he stood.
"you said that an hour ago when i walked past." he murmured, his voice slipping into that gentle register that always felt like a secret meant only for you. he set a small paper bag from the bakery downstairs on the edge of your desk, careful not to disturb your papers. "you skipped the team lunch. i brought you one of those lemon tarts you mentioned liking last month."
your heart ached a little, a sharp spike of anxiety hitting your chest. you hadn't even realized he had been listening when you said that to a completely different coworker in the breakroom weeks ago. that was his trick. he collected information like weights, saving them until he could wrap them up in sweet gestures, leaving you with no way to push him away without looking like the bad guy.
"jungwon, you shouldn't have." you said, trying to force your voice to sound flat, or at least indifferent. you finally met his eyes, searching for a slip, a hint of the calculation you knew was behind them. but there was nothing. just those wide, dark eyes looking at you with a steady warmth that made you feel completely exposed.
"i wanted to." he said simply, a tiny, almost imperceptible crinkle forming at the corners of his eyes. "you look tired, y/n. let me do something nice for you for once. okay?" the way he said for once, as if he had been waiting for the opportunity to care about you, made a bitter knot form in your throat. he was opening the door to the routine, and the worst part was how badly a small, pathetic part of you wanted to step inside.
you looked down at the brown paper bag, the grease from the pastry already leaving a translucent circle on the paper. it felt heavy, like an anchor pulling you straight into the deep end of his world. if you reached for your purse right now, if you pulled out a crisp bill and insisted on paying him back, you would look incredibly cold. you would be the girl who couldn't just accept a simple favor from a coworker who was only trying to be thoughtful.
but you needed a barrier. you needed to prove to yourself that you weren't like that girl from accounting, or the receptionists, or any of the other people who let his probably fake kindness soften their edges until there was nothing left to protect themselves with.
"how much was it?" you asked, your fingers gripping the edge of your desk a little tighter as you kept your voice low, trying to maintain the flat, corporate boundary between you. "i can venmo you. i also think i have some cash in my bag."
jungwon didn't move. he didn't blink, either. he just kept staring down at you, his thumb slowly brushing against the seam of his trouser pocket. for a second, just a tiny fraction of a second, the soft crinkle around his eyes vanished, replaced by an expression that was entirely unreadable. it was the closest you had ever seen his mask come to slipping, and it made your stomach do a small anxious flip.
but then, as quickly as it had gone, the sweetness returned. it bloomed across his face like it belonged there, gentle and effortless. "don't do that, y/n.” he murmured, his voice dropping an octave, sounding almost disappointed. not angry, just gently hurt, like a friend whose genuine intentions had been misunderstood. he reached out, his fingers hovering just an inch above the paper bag, not quite touching it, but close enough that you could smell the faint scent of his laundry detergent mixed with the sweet scent of the lemon. "it's just a tart. you don't owe me anything for it."
you hated how good he was at this. he made your self-preservation look like paranoia. "i just don't like feeling like i owe people things." you whispered, finally looking away from his eyes because the intensity of his gaze was starting to make your chest feel tight. you focused on his collar instead, tracing the neat, sharp line of his grey button down. "especially at work."
"you don't owe me." he repeated softly. he leaned a little closer over the divider, his shadow completely enveloping your desk space now, cutting off the rest of the bustling floor. "i promise. consider it an apology for the project timeline being so messy this week. i know it's been stressful for you."
he hadn't even been the one who messed up the timeline, it had been the senior supervisor's fault. yet there he was, taking the blame, wrapping it up in a pastry, and handing it to you like a peace offering. it was perfect. it was entirely unassailable.
before you could think of another way to push him back, another way to say no without sounding entirely irrational, he was already straightening up. he patted the top of the cubicle divider twice, the dull thud of his palms against the fabric signaling the end of your private pocket of time.
"eat it before the sugar melts." he said, giving you one last, lingering smile that felt entirely too warm for a tuesday afternoon in a fluorescent lit office. "i'll see you in the meeting tomorrow, y/n."
you didn't answer. you just watched his back as he turned around and walked away, his stride easy and completely relaxed. and then, you watched the trap reset.
barely three steps away from your desk, he ran into the assistant manager. within two seconds, jungwon’s posture shifted, his head tilting in that familiar, attentive way as he listened to the older man complain about a client. he smiled, offered a reassuring nod, and effortlessly slid back into being the floor's favorite person. it was like his conversation with you hadn't even happened. it was just another stop on his daily rounds.
you sank back into your ergonomic chair, feeling smaller than you had five minutes ago. the paper bag sat on the edge of your desk, a tiny, sweet monument to your own weakness. you hadn't won. you hadn't even fought back.
when you finally decided to pack your bag, the fourteenth floor was entirely dead. the quiet was suffocating, broken only by the distant, rhythmic hum of the building's ventilation system. you had stayed late on purpose, hiding behind the excuse of a heavy workload just to avoid having to walk out the double doors at the same time as everyone else. you needed the air to clear.
you walked down the narrow carpeted hallway toward the back supply room to drop off a final stack of hard copy client files before heading to the elevators. the lights in the back corridor were completely out, the darkness only cut by the faint city lights bleeding through the floor to ceiling glass windows at the end of the hall.
as you neared the heavy wooden door of the archive room, you realized it wasn’t fully latched. a thin sliver of light was slicing across the dark carpet. and then, you heard a sound that made your entire body freeze in place.
it wasn't a murmur about spreadsheets or a polite laugh. it was a breathy gasp, followed by the distinct, unmistakable friction of fabric rubbing against a hard desk surface.
"jungwon, please-"
it was sarah from design. her voice was completely unrecognizable, stripped of her usual corporate composure, thick with an open, desperate kind of heat.
"shhh." a voice quieted her. low, raspy, and completely dripping with that gentle cadence. "someone might still be on the floor. stay quiet for me, yeah?"
your heart gave a violent, sickening lurch against your ribs, your fingers locking onto the edge of the file folders so hard the cardboard bent. you shouldn't have looked. every piece of self-preservation you had left was screaming at you to turn around, to run to the elevators and pretend you hadn't heard a thing. but you were paralyzed. your eyes moved to the small gap in the doorframe, your breath catching in your throat. through the crack, the scene was explicit, dark, and entirely heavy.
sarah was pushed back onto the edge of the heavy wooden archive table, her knee length pencil skirt hitched all the way up past her thighs, her fingers tangled frantically in the dark hair of the boy pressing between her legs. jungwon’s shirt was completely unbuttoned, hanging loosely off his shoulders, exposing the pale, sharp lines of his chest and back as he moved against her. he wasn't being rough. even like this, hidden in a dark room against company policy, his movements carried that same terrifyingly smooth rhythm. his head was buried in the crook of her neck, his lips leaving slow, wet tracks along her collarbone, his hands gripping her hips to anchor her as he drove into her with a quiet deliberation. every roll of his hips elicited a muffled, shaking groan from the girl beneath him, her eyes completely blown out, utterly ruined by him.
"you're so good." jungwon whispered against her skin, his voice hitching slightly as his pace quickened, his thumbs digging into her skin. it was said with that same comforting warmth he used when he was handing someone a pastry or fixing a computer screen. "so sweet for me, sarah."
seeing him use that exact same tone — the soft sweetness he used to navigate the bullpen — while his body was violently taking someone against an office desk made a cold wave of humiliation wash over you.
he really was doing it. all of it. he wasn't just collecting favors, he was consuming them. and less than four hours ago, he had leaned over your cubicle divider, looked into your eyes with that exact same soft warmth, and told you he wanted to do something nice for you for once.
you backed away from the door. you had thought you were being smart by observing him, thought you were immune because you saw the matrix of his charm. but the truth was, you were just another potential name on the rotation of favors he hadn't gotten around to breaking yet.
inside the room, the sudden, sharp rustle of your folders against your coat cut through the quiet. the rhythmic sound of his movements stopped instantly. through the gap, you saw jungwon’s head lift, his dark eyes instantly cutting through the dim light straight toward the door frame, his chest heaving as he stared directly at the shadow you were casting on the floor.
you didn't wait for him to pull away. you turned and ran toward the elevators, your chest heavy with an indescribable, uncomfortable feeling as the doors finally closed.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
the next morning, the fourteenth floor swallowed you whole, completely unchanged. the office was just its usual, sterile self. you sat at your desk, eyes fixed on your monitors, trying to drown out the intrusive images from the night before. because the worst part — the thing you refused to admit to yourself as you stared at your spreadsheets — was how it had actually looked. the sharp lines of his bare back, the tight grip of his hands on sarah's hips, the low, raspy weight of his voice... it had been explicit. it had been dangerous. and god help you, it had been the most terrifyingly attractive thing you had ever seen.
you bit the inside of your cheek until it tasted like iron. do not think about it. do not fall for it. you weren't going to be another project he managed. you weren't going to let a few seconds of office floor smut shake the armor you had spent months building. besides, you were certain he would never try to win your favor like that anyway — he clearly wasn't interested. you had never had those kinds of interactions with him, which only made the fact that you were fixating so hard on the memory feel even creepier. you were acting like a voyeur, replaying a performance that wasn't meant for you, all because the raw control he had displayed had been so violently hot, if you were honest. you needed to go back to your normal self and not think about him ever again.
the conference room smelled of stale catering coffee and the chemical tang of dry erase markers. everyone was crammed inside, reducing themselves to a neat row of titles and deliverables. sarah sat three chairs down from you, her posture slightly rigid, her eyes tracking jungwon’s every move with a quiet devotion. but she wasn't special. you watched how he shifted his attention effortlessly — offering a quick, easy laugh to one of the guys from logistics, leaning in to whisper a reassuring note to the senior supervisor, making sure that everyone felt chosen. he didn't look like a man who had spent the previous evening ruining a coworker against an archive table. he looked immaculate. when the supervisor praised the recent turnaround on the quarterly reports, jungwon offered a modest smile, deferring the credit entirely to the rest of the team. he was a calculated machine, running on the fuel of everyone's compliance, using his charm interchangeably to keep the floor running exactly how he wanted it to.
you kept your gaze firmly fixed on your ipad, drawing a series of neat, aggressive boxes in the margins. you were an observer. you just had to get through the remaining forty minutes of this meeting, go back to your cubicle, and bury yourself in data.
"y/n?" the supervisor’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
you blinked, pulling your shoulders back into a sharp corporate posture. "yes?"
"jungwon mentioned that the client files from the fourteenth floor archives were still showing a few discrepancies. did you manage to drop off the hard copies last night?"
your breath caught in your throat. your fingers tightened around your pen so hard the plastic clicked. reluctantly, your eyes shifted across the table.
jungwon was looking right at you. he didn't have his usual soft, accommodating expression. he was leaning back in his chair, his dark eyes locked onto yours with a terrifyingly unblinking intensity. there was no warmth in them now. no sweet, harmless coworker charm.
it was a dare.
"i dropped them off." you said, your voice a fraction thinner than you wanted it to be. you forced yourself to maintain eye contact, refusing to let him see the frantic flutter of your pulse. "right before i left."
"perfect." jungwon said softly. he didn't break his gaze. his fingers stopped typing entirely, resting flat against the aluminum casing of his laptop. "i went back in there this morning to organize them. i noticed a few of the folders were a bit bent at the edges. like someone had been in a rush."
a suffocating wave of heat rushed up your neck. he knew. he knew exactly who had been standing outside that door.
"the archive room is quite dark at night." you countered, your voice dropping into a flat, icy register that stood out sharply against the casual tone of the room. "it's easy to lose your footing when you're looking for something in the dark."
for a fraction of a second, the corner of jungwon’s mouth twitched upward. it wasn't his public smile. it was sharp, dark, and entirely private, like a glimpse of the calculating mind behind the mask. he liked this. he seemed to have realized that while the rest of the floor was blind to his games, you were watching every single move. and instead of pulling back, instead of playing it safe, he looked entirely reenergized by it.
"you're right, y/n." he murmured, his voice dropping into that raspy cadence that made your skin prickle with a dangerous heat. "it is very dark back there. you really have to be careful what you stumble into." he laughed softly, slipping effortlessly back into his usual public persona. a few of your coworkers laughed along too, entirely unaware of the double meaning bleeding through his words. you felt like you were going insane, like one of those tragic characters in horror movies who are the only ones capable of seeing the ghosts.
the meeting adjourned, and the room dissolved into the usual chaos of scraping chairs and murmured small talk. you gathered your notebook and pen, eager to escape the stifling air, but a tall shadow stepped directly into your path before you could reach the door.
jungwon stood close, effectively blocking your exit. the faint, expensive scent of his cologne hit you instantly, dragging your mind violently back to the image of his bare back and the frantic grip of his hands in the dark. your chest heaved, a sharp spike of anger and unwanted arousal hitting you all at once.
"you didn't eat the tart, right?" he said. his voice was quiet, entirely obscured by the noise of the departing coworkers around you.
"i wasn't hungry." you replied, keeping your eyes trained on the top button of his shirt, refusing to look into his eyes. you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of a real reaction. he was just being fake nice, putting on the same calculated performance he used on everyone else to get his way. you were just a glitch in his perfect record of floor compliance, a loose thread he wanted to tuck back into his neat little tapestry because it bothered his meticulous nature that your edges wouldn't soften for him.
he leaned down slightly, his breath brushing against the shell of your ear as he spoke. "a shame. i spent a lot of time thinking about what you liked before i bought it."
you bit the inside of your cheek, gripping your notebook like a shield. you didn't call him out, you didn't mention what you saw. you just forced a professional, detached distance between your bodies, holding onto the corporate wall with everything you had left.
"i have work to do, jungwon. i’ll excuse myself now, see you." you stepped sideways, brushing past his shoulder without looking back. but as you walked down the carpeted hallway, you could feel his eyes burning into your back, a silent promise that he was only just getting started.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
by thursday afternoon, the tension had settled into the very carpet of your floor, heavy and thick enough to make your lungs ache. you tried to perfect your routine. eyes on the monitor, fingers on the keys, headphones firmly over your ears even when there was no music playing. you were determined to be the ghost he couldn't touch.
but jungwon was a master of using the space around you against you. he spent twenty minutes at the shared printer island just three feet away from your cubicle opening. he wasn't alone. he was with elle from legal, helping her sort through a massive stack of compliance contracts. you could hear the low, smooth rumble of his voice filtering through your headset. you didn't look. you swore to yourself you wouldn't look. but then you heard that quiet, private laugh — the one that always made people lean over their desks. against your own damn will, your eyes flicked up.
jungwon was leaning over the printer, his grey button-down stretched tight across his shoulders. his hand was resting on the small of elle’s back, his thumb making slow, casual circles against the fabric of her blazer. it was a gesture so effortlessly intimate, so completely unnecessary for printing contracts, that a bitter spike of heat flared in your chest. elle was looking up at him with that exact ruined expression you had seen on sarah, on the receptionists, on everyone.
and then, without missing a beat in his conversation with her, jungwon’s dark eyes shifted. he looked directly over elle’s shoulder, straight into your cubicle, locking his gaze onto yours. his thumb didn't stop moving against her back. his face didn't change its pleasant expression. but his eyes were entirely dark, heavy with a silent, mocking challenge.
look how easy it is, you imagined him saying. look at what everyone else gives me without a fight.
he was doing it on purpose. he knew you were hyper-fixated on his patterns, he knew you had seen what happened in the archive room, and instead of hiding it, he was putting his transactional nature on full display right in front of your face. he wanted you to feel the weight of your own isolation. he wanted the jealousy and the confusion to twist inside you until you finally snapped and gave him the compliance he wanted. you ripped your eyes away, your heart hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird. you hated him. you hated how he could make you feel so entirely exposed without even speaking to you. and worst of all, you hated the pathetic, traitorous part of your brain that had watched his hand on elle’s back and wondered, just for a terrifying second, what it would feel like if those fingers were digging into your own skin instead.
you swallowed hard, the taste of iron lingering on your tongue. he doesn't want you, you reminded yourself, a cruel, internal mantra. he's just fake nice. he just wants to win the game.
the shadow fell over your desk before you could even register the sound of his footsteps. "the legal files are sorted." jungwon murmured. he wasn't leaning over the divider this time, he was standing right at the entrance of your cubicle, effectively blocking the view of the rest of the floor. he set a single blue folder on the corner of your desk, his fingers lingering on the plastic tab. "i put the updated compliance guidelines on top. i thought you might need them for your afternoon report."
you didn't look at his face. you focused strictly on his hands, on the neat skin of his wrists. "thanks."
"you seem quiet today, y/n." he said softly, his voice dropping into that low register meant only for the two of you. he leaned in just a fraction, his shadow completely swallowing your desk space. "even more than usual. did you get another headache?"
the artificial sweetness in his tone felt like a physical weight pressing against your chest. he was mocking your boundaries, testing the exact strength of the walls you were sweating to keep up.
"i'm fine, jungwon." you whispered, your voice tight, keeping the corporate distance as rigid as humanly possible. "just busy."
"mmh." a small, completely unreadable sound left his throat. he reached out, his index finger lightly tracing a slow line along the edge of your desk calendar, stopping just a millimeter away from where your hand was resting. the proximity made the skin on your arms prickle with a terrifying heat. "well... don't work too hard. it would be a shame if you got tired out before the week is even over."
he gave the desk a final, quiet tap of his knuckles and walked away, leaving you drowning in the suffocating air of his departure.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
on friday evening, the office had emptied out with a desperate speed, everyone fleeing for the weekend the second the clock hit five. you had stayed behind on purpose again. it was safer this way. the quiet felt like a shield, a brief window where you didn't have to watch him hand out his attention like loose change to every person who crossed his path.
the only light left on was the dull, overhead glow of your own cubicle row, casting geometric shadows across the empty desks. you were just finishing up the last data entry for the week, the rhythmic click of your keyboard the only sound in the entire space. you let out a long breath, your shoulders finally dropping from the tight, defensive posture you had kept up for days.
then, the printer island three feet away whirred to life. the sudden, mechanical groan made your heart drop straight into your stomach. a single sheet of paper began to slide into the tray, the sound incredibly loud in the dead quiet of the office.
"i thought i saw a light still on down here." his voice came from the darkness just outside your cubicle opening. low, completely devoid of the light, airy cadence he used during the day. jungwon stepped into the glow of your monitor. he had already taken off his tie, the top two buttons of his grey shirt undone to reveal the sharp lines of his collarbone. his jacket was slung carelessly over one shoulder, held by a single finger. he looked messy in a way that felt entirely intentional, entirely dangerous.
you froze, your fingers hovering over the keys. do not look at his neck. do not think about the archive room. "i'm just finishing up." you said, your voice tight, forcing that rigid wall between you even though the floor was completely dead. "i'm leaving in five minutes."
"there's no rush." he murmured, stepping fully into your cubicle space. but he didn't stop at the edge this time. he walked right up to the side of your chair, dropping his jacket onto the empty desk divider next to you. "the building doesn't lock down until midnight, anyway."
you kept your eyes fixed on the screen, your heart hammering a stupid rhythm against your ribs. "i want to get home, though."
jungwon didn't answer. instead, he reached past your shoulder, his bare forearm brushing lightly against your sleeve as he picked up the single sheet of paper that had printed out. the brief friction of his skin against yours felt like an electric shock, making your breath hitch in your throat.
he leaned back against the edge of your desk, trapping you in your seat, his dark eyes looking down at the paper in his hands. "you made a mistake on the logistics section." he said softly.
"what?" your head snapped up before you could stop yourself, defense mechanism kicking in. "no, i didn't. i checked the numbers twice."
"look right here." he leaned down, his face suddenly entirely too close to yours. you could see the tiny flecks of dark brown in his eyes and the immaculate line of his jaw. he pointed his long finger at a row of data on your monitor, his hand hovering right next to your mouse. "you put the shipping code under the wrong department head."
you looked at the screen, your mind entirely blank, completely unable to process the numbers because his chest was practically brushing against your shoulder. "it's... it's a minor formatting issue. i can fix it on monday."
"why wait until monday?" jungwon whispered. his voice dropped into that private register that made your skin prickle. he didn't look at the screen anymore. he was looking directly at your mouth, his gaze heavy, dark, and completely unblinking. "i'm right here. let me help you with it."
he placed his hand directly over yours on the mouse. his palm was warm, his fingers large and heavy as they entirely covered your smaller ones. your pulse gave a sickening lurch. he wasn't being gentle. he wasn't doing that soft, attentive routine he did all the time. his grip was firm, holding your hand in place on the plastic casing, forcing you to feel the solid weight of him.
"jungwon." you breathed, a panicky sound escaping your throat. you tried to pull your hand back, but his fingers tightened just enough to keep you pinned.
"shhh." he murmured, using the exact same low tone he had used on sarah in the dark. "you're always trying to push me away, y/n. why is that? i'm just trying to be a good coworker."
the blatant lie made a suffocating knot form in your throat. he was mocking you. he knew you knew exactly what he was, and he was using his body to deliberately test how much you could take before your walls completely crumbled.
"let go of my hand." you whispered, your voice shaking, although you tried with everything you had to keep it cold.
jungwon didn't move. he leaned in even closer, his breath warm against your cheek, his eyes darkening into something ravenous as he watched the frantic pulse fluttering in your neck. "and if i don't?" he asked softly, a tiny, dangerous smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "what are you going to do, y/n? call the supervisor? tell them i'm being too nice to you?"
you couldn't breathe. the sheer weight of him was entirely too much, trapping you between the hard edge of your desk and the solid heat of his chest. your fingers were frozen beneath his palm, your skin tingling everywhere it connected with his.
"i'll tell them exactly what you are." you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. your voice was entirely too thinned out by the frantic beating of your heart, but you kept your eyes fixed on his chin, refusing to look up into the dark trap of his gaze. "i'll tell them you're a fraud, jungwon."
for a long second, the quiet of the fourteenth floor felt absolute. the hum of the ventilation system seemed to fade into nothing. then, jungwon let out a low, breathy laugh. it wasn't his public laugh — the quiet, pleasant one that made people lean over their desk dividers. this one was dark, raspy, and too dangerous. his hand didn't leave yours. instead, his fingers shifted, sliding down the sides of your hand to lock his fingers securely through yours, pinning your palm flat against the desk surface now.
"a fraud." he murmured, his voice dropping an octave, vibrating straight through the small space between your faces. he leaned down further, his lips so close to the shell of your ear that you could feel the slight brush of his dark hair against your temple. "and who do you think is going to believe you, y/n? the supervisors? the girls in marketing? they love me. i make their lives so easy."
he was right. it was the most humiliating part of the whole thing. if you went to anyone, you would look like the unhinged one. you would be the bitter, detached girl who couldn't handle a popular coworker offering to help her with a formatting error.
"they think you're nice." you breathed, your teeth biting down on the inside of your cheek until it throbbed. "but you're just... you just use everyone."
you expected him to pull back, expected him to get angry or play dumb. but as you finally forced your eyes up to meet his, your breath caught. jungwon was staring down at you with a look that made your entire stomach dissolve into chaos. his face wasn't sweet at all anymore. his jaw was set, his dark eyes wide and completely unblinking, tracking the frantic movement of your lips. his chest was heaving slightly, the top buttons of his shirt pulling apart just enough for your eyes to instinctively look down for a second.
he didn't look insulted. he looked violently fascinated. "you really do see right through it, don't you?" he whispered, his thumb slowly tracing a firm line across the back of your knuckles. his grip on your hand tightened, a sudden show of strength that made your pulse give a silly flutter. "everyone on this floor is so boring, to be honest. they just take whatever i give them. but you... you sit here and watch me, and you hate me so much." he leaned in until his nose almost brushed against yours, his gaze dropping to your mouth again with a hunger that felt entirely too explicit for a fluorescent lit cubicle. "you think i'm just being fake nice to be convenient. but the truth is, y/n... i've been waiting for you to look at me like this for months."
he shifted his weight, his thigh pressing firmly against the side of your knee, anchoring you into the chair. the mask was entirely gone, shattered on the desk between you, and you were left staring at the raw, calculating control underneath. and to be honest with yourself, it was the most terrifyingly attractive thing you had ever felt.
"now…" jungwon whispered, his thumb digging slightly into your wrist, right over the frantic jumping of your pulse. "are you going to fix this spreadsheet for me, or are we going to do something else?"
you refused to let him win. you refused to soften a single fraction. "i'm fixing the spreadsheet." you whispered, your voice tight and entirely thinned out, but you forced your eyes back to the monitor, desperately trying to focus on the green lines of the cells. you tried to pull your fingers out from beneath his palm, but jungwon’s grip remained firm, his fingers locked securely through yours, pinning your hand against the mouse. a breathy hum left his throat, the vibration of it traveling straight from his chest into your shoulder where his body was pressed against yours.
"then do it." he murmured, his voice dropping into that private register that made the skin on your arms prickle with a dangerous heat. "go ahead, y/n. fix it."
your left hand trembled as you reached for the keyboard, your mind racing to remember the correct shipping codes through the suffocating fog of his proximity. he was making it entirely impossible on purpose. he leaned down further, his head tilting until his lips were just a fraction of an inch away from the sensitive skin below your ear, his warm breath fanning across your neck with every shallow exhale.
"you're entering the wrong code." he whispered against your skin, his thumb shifting to press a slow, deliberate circle right over the pulse in your wrist. "look at the screen. you're messing up the formatting again because you're too busy trying to pretend i'm not here."
"i'm not pretending anything." you breathed, your teeth biting down on the inside of your cheek until you felt a sharp sting. you deleted the typo, your fingers hitting the keys with a defensive force. you weren't going to look at his collarbone. you weren't going to turn your head and let his mouth catch yours. you kept your gaze locked onto the data, your entire body stiff as iron against the solid warmth of his chest.
you clicked the save icon, the sharp sound of the mouse loud in the dead quiet of the fourteenth floor. "it's done. the data is clean. now let go of my hand, jungwon."
jungwon didn't move. he stayed exactly where he was for a long, agonizing second, his dark eyes wide and unblinking as he tracked the tight line of your jaw. you hadn't leaned into him. you hadn't given him that ruined look he was so used to consuming from the rest of the floor.
and as you finally forced your head around to glare at him, refusing to back down, you saw the exact moment his expression shifted. the mocking smile completely vanished from his lips. his jaw tightened, his dark eyes clouding over with a ravenous frustration that made your stomach dissolve into absolute chaos. he looked entirely consumed by the fact that you were still fighting him, his chest heaving slightly as his grip on your laced fingers tightened until it hurt. you were willing to choke on your own pride before you ever gave him the compliance he wanted.
"you really aren't going to give in, are you?" he whispered, his raspy voice shaking just enough to let the dark intensity underneath slip through. he leaned in until his nose brushed against yours, his gaze dropping to your parted lips with an explicit hunger that made your knees go entirely weak in the chair. "you're going to sit here and look at me like you want to kill me, even when you're completely burning up underneath my hands."
"i told you, jungwon." you whispered back, your fingers tightening around his despite yourself, your armor cracking at the seams even as you held the wall up between you.
jungwon let out another ragged breath, his thumb digging hard into your wrist as a possessive heat bloomed across his beautiful face. "we have time anyway, y/n."
he slowly released his grip, his fingers sliding away from yours with agonizing slowness, leaving your skin tingling and entirely too cold in the sudden absence of his warmth. he picked up his jacket from the divider, throwing it back over his shoulder with that effortless fluidness. he didn't say another word. he just gave you one last, unblinking look — a silent promise wrapped in a calculated package — before turning on his heel and vanishing into the darkness of the elevator lobby. you sat there for a long time, the silence of the empty office pressing heavy against your ears.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
the weekend had been a blur of suffocating self-loathing. you had spent forty eight hours pacing your apartment, scrubbing at the wrist where his thumb had dug into your pulse, trying to wash away the phantom weight of his hand. you felt physically sickened by your own body’s betrayal. that silly, pathetic flutter your heart had given when he leaned in — it felt like a stain. you had always prided yourself on being the independent one, the girl who didn't get sucked into office politics or hollow, fleeting infatuations. you were supposed to be safe because you were invisible. but jungwon had stripped that safety away in a matter of minutes, leaving you raw, exposed, and terrified of your own hidden vulnerabilities.
you knew exactly what he was doing. you kept repeating it like a prayer to keep yourself sane: he doesn't want you. he doesn't want you. he was just a predator who hated that one specific prey wouldn't run into his trap. he was a perfectionist, and your coldness was an ugly smudge on his immaculate record of floor wide adoration.
by monday morning, the internal friction had left you entirely exhausted, the dark circles under your eyes barely hidden by makeup. the bright lights of the office hit your eyes like a physical blow. it was already buzzing with the usual post weekend energy, typing and mindless small talk filling the air. you kept your head down, your shoulders hunched as you walked to your cubicle, feeling incredibly small, like a soldier walking back into a minefield with a cardboard shield.
and then, you saw him. he was standing by the central filing cabinets, completely surrounded. he was wearing a crisp, dark navy shirt today, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal his pale forearms. he was currently leaning over to look at a folder held by jake from accounting, his hand resting heavily on his shoulder, squeezing it in a gesture that looked entirely supportive and friendly. but you watched the way jungwon’s eyes moved — sharp, analytical, tracking the supervisor who was walking past them. the second the supervisor glanced over, jungwon shifted his posture, offering a bright smile that made him look like the hardest working, most compliant employee on the entire payroll.
twenty minutes later, jungwon was at the reception desk. you watched, your heart hammering a painful rhythm against your ribs, as he leaned over the counter to speak to the new temp. his hand rested casually on the edge of her desk, his thumb making a slow, absentminded circle against the wood — the exact same gesture he had used on your knuckles friday night. the temp was completely flushed, her eyes wide as she nodded along to whatever he was whispering. you watched how he helped her carry a heavy box of promotional materials, his body intentionally brushing against hers as they walked through the narrow aisle. it made your stomach turn over in a violent wave of disgust and profound anxiety. he was doing it right in front of you. he didn't even care about hiding his promiscuity or his transactional nature anymore. in fact, it felt like he was putting on a performance specifically for your benefit. he was showing you how easily he could buy anyone on this floor, men and women alike, with a single smile or a well timed touch, using them up until they were empty and then moving on to the next.
you clutched your coffee mug so hard your knuckles turned white, a toxic mixture of anger and panic rising in your throat. you felt like you were suffocating under the weight of your own awareness. you were the only one who saw the rot beneath the golden boy facade, and the sheer isolation of that knowledge was driving you insane. you were terrified that if you kept watching the casual ease with which he dismantled people’s boundaries, the gravity of his control would eventually pull you under too.
"y/n." his voice came from directly behind your chair, low and entirely smooth. your entire body went rigid as iron and your breath trapped itself in your lungs. the sudden rush of adrenaline made your ears ring. jungwon stepped around the edge of your cubicle, holding a stack of laminated division charts. he didn't touch you, he didn't even lean over your desk. he stood just far away enough to keep up appearances for the rest of the floor, but his presence felt massive, completely blocking out the light.
he looked down at you, his dark eyes wide and entirely hollow of the warmth he had just been flashing at the marketing team. his face was a mask of perfect, professional indifference, but the sharp line of his jaw was tight. "the department head requested the updated logistics flow by noon." he said softly, his public voice neat and polite. but then, he paused, his gaze slowly dropping to your hands, watching the tiny, uncontrollable tremor in your fingers as you tried to set your coffee mug down. the corner of his mouth twitched, almost imperceptibly, with a quiet satisfaction.
he leaned in just an inch, his voice dropping into that private register that belonged only to the dark corners of the office. "did you have trouble sleeping over the weekend, y/n?"
the question was a psychological knife, twisting right into the center of your internal turmoil. he knew. he knew he had occupied your thoughts for forty eight hours. he was taunting you with the fact that even when he wasn't there, he was still successfully invading your space, still slowly breaking down your mental walls from the inside out.
you swallowed the bitter taste of panic, forcing your eyes up to meet his chin, refusing to give him the satisfaction of looking into his eyes. you drew a sharp breath, pulling your corporate wall up with every ounce of strength you had left. "i'm fine, jungwon." you whispered, your voice thinned out but completely cold, completely detached. "the logistics flow will be in the system by eleven thirty. you can check it then."
jungwon stayed perfectly still for a second, his dark eyes burning into the side of your face, analyzing the rigid posture, the tight set of your mouth, the desperate pride you were clinging to. he didn't push, he didn't need to. he just tapped the laminated charts against the edge of your divider with a quiet, hollow click. "perfect." he murmured, his raspy tone thinning back into his polite, public persona. "i'll be looking forward to seeing your work."
as he turned and walked away, immediately falling into an easy conversation with a passing manager, you let out a trembling breath, your hands shaking so badly you had to press them flat against the desk to make them stop. you were safe for now, but the suffocating realization settled deep into your chest — the game was only getting heavier, and the cost of keeping your walls up was starting to tear you apart.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
by the time the mandatory department dinner rolled around on thursday night, the tension inside your chest had turned into a living, breathing thing.
the restaurant was loud, suffocatingly warm, and thick with the heavy scent of grilled pork and cheap soju. green bottles were already multiplying across the long wooden tables like a plague. everyone was shedding their corporate skin with a sloppy speed, the supervisors shouting over the sizzle of the meat, your colleagues giggling too loudly as they mixed beer and liquor.
you sat near the end of the table, actively trying to dissolve into the background. you were drinking faster than usual. it was a stupid, dangerous mistake, but the alcohol was the only thing capable of dulling the exhausting edge of your hyper-vigilance. you just wanted to numb the looping thoughts of him, but alcohol also made your walls sluggish. and across the grill, through the rising smoke and the chaotic haze of the room, yang jungwon was putting on a masterclass.
he looked disgusting in his perfection. he had stayed sober enough to maintain his position as the table's golden savior — expertly flipping the meat for the senior manager, laughing at the supervisor’s terrible jokes, pouring drinks with a practiced tilt of his wrist. he was the perfect employee, the perfect junior colleague, distributing his easy warmth so seamlessly that the entire top end of the table was practically vibrating under his influence.
but every time he leaned back to let a manager speak, his dark eyes would cut straight through the smoke, locking onto your face. his gaze was heavy, tracking the rhythmic movement of your glass as you emptied it again and again. there was no warmth in his face when he looked at you. just that quiet, analytical hunger.
"y/n, you're being way too quiet tonight." jay from project management slid into the empty space on your left. “seriously, you're always so locked away in your cubicle." he laughed, leaning in to bump his shoulder against yours. it was a clumsy, drunken gesture, but it felt normal. "you need to hang out with us more. let me pour you another one."
"maybe i should." you giggled, the sound light and loose even to your own ears. the alcohol made you sloppy, made you want to lean into the easy comfort of someone who didn't have a hidden agenda. you picked up your small glass and held it out with both hands, giving him a bright, genuine smile. "you're right. i work too hard."
jay beamed, his eyes crinkling as he filled your glass. he let his hand linger against yours for a second too long as he set the bottle down, his arm casually settling over the back of your wooden bench, his fingers lightly brushing the fabric of your blouse. you didn't pull away. instead, you tilted your head up, laughing at a stupid joke he made about the logistics manager, completely letting your guard drop. it felt intoxicating to be normal. to prove to yourself — and to the person sitting across the grill — that you weren't trapped in his little bubble.
but across the table, the atmosphere had silently shifted. jungwon was suddenly drinking too tonight. he wasn't perfectly sober anymore. his tie was long gone, the top three buttons of his navy shirt undone, and there was a faint flush spreading across his neck and the sharp lines of his collarbone.
it happened so fast you almost missed it. jungwon had been in the middle of nodding politely to a story the senior supervisor was telling. when you looked at him again, his entire posture was dead rigid. his jaw set so hard the muscle in his cheek twitched violently. for a terrifying second, the golden boy mask shattered completely, leaving a look of such icy malice on his face that your breath trapped itself in your throat.
he didn't make a scene. he was too smart for that. instead, he stood up smoothly, a polite, apologetic smile instantly snapping back onto his features as he addressed the supervisor. "i'll go grab a few more bottles of the premium plum wine from the front." jungwon murmured, his public voice light and accommodating. "the department head mentioned he wanted to try it."
you watched him walk away, your heart violently hammering against your ribs. you thought you were safe. you thought the distance would give you room to breathe.
but less than three minutes later, the chaotic seating arrangement of the table shifted as a group of managers left to use the restroom. when a space cleared out directly opposite you and jay, a shadow fell over the wood.
jungwon sat down. he placed three new bottles on the table with a quiet, hollow click. he didn't look at you. he focused entirely on jay, his face twisted into an expression of intense camaraderie that felt entirely too sharp to be real.
"jay." jungwon said, his voice smooth but dropping into a lower cadence that somehow cut through the noise of the restaurant. "you're taking care of our quietest team member? that's really responsible of you."
"jungwon! man, you're the best." jay cheered, completely oblivious to the danger sitting three feet away from him. he pulled his arm off your chair to reach for his glass. "i'm just telling y/n she needs to loosen up!"
"is that so?" jungwon murmured. he picked up a fresh bottle of soju, his long, pale fingers wrapping around the green glass with an unyielding grip. he leaned forward, his dark eyes locked onto jay’s face. "well, if you're going to keep her company, you have to keep up with her. let me pour you a proper drink."
what followed was a brutal, quiet execution. jungwon didn't let jay breathe. using his fake nice, attentive persona like a weapon, he continuously filled jay’s glass the exact second it touched the table, egging him on with soft compliments and subtle challenges that jay’s drunken pride couldn't refuse. jungwon was pouring double shots, mixing combinations, acting like the ultimate hype man while remaining entirely sober himself.
it was horrifyingly calculated. jungwon was weaponizing the floor compliance against jay, using his popularity to entirely dismantle the guy right in front of your face. and he was doing it with a terrifying, quiet ferocity.
within twenty minutes, jay’s head dropped heavily onto his folded arms on the table, his eyes rolling shut as he muttered an incoherent string of nonsense before completely passing out cold.
the noise of the restaurant seemed to swell around your ears, the shouting and laughter of the remaining coworkers forming a thick barrier of isolation around your corner of the table. jay was asleep on your left. the manager on your right was entirely engrossed in a loud argument about quarterly logistics.
you were left completely alone with him.
jungwon slowly set his empty glass down. the bright, helpful coworker expression vanished from his face like smoke, leaving his features cold, sharp, and ravenous. he leaned forward across the low wooden table, his chest almost touching the edge, his dark eyes wide as they pinned you to your seat.
"he touches everyone, you know?" jungwon whispered, his voice dropping into that raspy, private register that made your skin prickle. "jay. he does it in the hallways too. he's very careless with his hands."
you clutched your small soju glass, your fingers shaking so badly the clear liquid sloshed over the rim. the alcohol in your system was making your head spin, making your internal turmoil twist into something heavy and desperate. "he was just... he was just being friendly. unlike you."
jungwon let out a low laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "friendly."
before you could register his movement, his leg shifted beneath the low table. his thigh pressed firmly, violently against your knee, locking your legs together under the shadow of the thick tablecloth. the sudden heat of his body against yours sent a violent jolt of adrenaline straight down your spine. you tried to pull back, but he angled his leg, anchoring you into the wooden bench so tightly you couldn't move an inch without drawing the attention of the entire table.
"you let him touch your shoulder." jungwon murmured, his gaze dropping to your mouth, his jaw setting as his voice became thick with a suffocating jealousy. he reached his hand under the table, his long fingers wrapping firmly around your wrist, his thumb digging hard into the soft skin right over your jumping pulse. "you sat here and let a sloppy, useless drunk put his hands on you. but when i touch you, y/n... you look like you're about to lose your mind."
"let go." you breathed, a panicky whisper that was completely swallowed by the roar of the restaurant. your teeth bit into your lip, your eyes darting to the supervisor just three seats away, terrified of a scene, terrified of what would happen if anyone looked down. "jungwon, stop. someone will see."
"let them look." he whispered back, his grip on your wrist tightening until it was almost a bruise, his thumb rubbing a slow circle against your skin. his face was inches from yours now, his breath warm, smelling faintly of the plum wine. "they won't see anything. they only see what i want them to see. you know that better than anyone, y/n."
he leaned in just a fraction further, his eyes tracking the chaotic, terrified rise and fall of your chest. he was entirely consumed by his own control, entirely irritated that someone else had crossed the boundary he had marked for himself.
"i told you on friday night, y/n." he murmured, his raspy voice vibrating straight through your bones as his leg pressed harder against your knee. "we have time."
the words hung in the space between your faces, heavy with the sweet, stinging scent of plum wine and the absolute certainty of his control. your mind was screaming at you to pull away, to make a scene, to slap his hand away from your wrist. but the alcohol had turned your blood to lead, making your body feel too heavy, too responsive to the solid pressure of his thigh against your knee. you were trapped between the suffocating heat of his gaze and the hidden reality of his hands beneath the table.
"hey, jungwon! y/n! what are you two whispering about over there?" the sudden voice of the senior manager cut through the noise of the restaurant like a blunt axe. the spell didn't just break, it evaporated. before your heart could even finish its next frantic thud, the shift in jungwon was instantaneous. his fingers slid off your wrist with a terrifyingly casual slowness, his leg smoothly retracting from yours under the cover of the tablecloth. by the time you managed to look up, blinking past the dizzying fog of the soju, jungwon was already leaning back in his seat. his face had instantly transformed back into the picture of polite, boyish innocence — the dark hunger wiped clean from his eyes as if it had never been there at all.
"just making sure y/n is doing okay, sir." jungwon said, his public voice smooth, light, and perfectly pitched to carry over the chatter. he offered the manager a dimpled smile. "i think the logistics data has her a bit worn out this week. i was just offering to take over her morning reports tomorrow so she can catch her breath."
"ah, look at our jungwon! always taking care of the team." the manager cheered, raising his glass in a sloppy toast. "a true asset to the department!"
you sat there, your hand still trembling against the cold wood where his fingers had just been pinned. the unadulterated fraudulence of it made you feel physically sick. he had just systematically dismantled jay, pinned you to your seat with a terrifying display of drunken jealousy, and threatened you into absolute silence. and within three seconds, he had the entire top end of the table practically singing his praises.
to your delight, the dinner dissolved into the chaotic logistics of departure shortly after. managers were pouring into taxis, people were laughing loudly on the sidewalk, and jay was being thrown into the back of a coworker's car, still completely dead to the world.
you stood on the pavement, the cool night air hitting your flushed skin, making the alcohol hit your head in a dizzying wave. you felt completely hollowed out, your internal walls not just cracked, but entirely reduced to ash.
you're going to sit here and look at me like you want to kill me, even when you're completely burning up underneath my hands.
his words from the cubicle, mixed with the phantom weight of his hand on your knee tonight, looped through your mind like a toxic rhythm. the worst part — the absolute most humiliating, terrifying part of the entire night — was the realization that you had burned. when his hand had tightened on your wrist, when his thigh had locked yours into the bench, a hidden part of your chest had given a shameful lurch. you hated his fake nice routines, you hated how he ruined people for his own convenience, but the raw, unfiltered gravity of his attention when the mask came off was becoming completely addictive.
you were terrified of him. but you were starting to be much more terrified of yourself.
"your taxi is here, y/n." his voice came from the shadow right beside you. jungwon had his hands slid casually into his slacks pockets, his jacket slung over his shoulder. he stepped forward, opening the door of the yellow cab for you with the textbook gallantry of a good coworker. but as you moved past him, your shoulder brushing against his chest, he didn't back up. he stayed entirely too close, his eyes locking onto yours in the dim light of the street.
"get some rest tonight." he murmured, his raspy voice dropping low enough that the driver couldn't hear. his thumb slowly traced a firm line across the leather of the car door, right next to your hip. "i'll see you in the office early tomorrow. don't be late."
you slid into the backseat without a word, your fingers curling tightly into your palms as the door clicked shut between you. as the taxi pulled away into the traffic, you looked back through the rear window. jungwon was still standing on the curb, completely alone in the yellow glow of the streetlamp, watching your car disappear with a look of absolute, calculating patience.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
the hangover wasn’t just a physical ache, it was a psychological weight that made the 6:45 am sunlight feel like an interrogation. you had deliberately arrived a full hour before the rest of the department, desperate to find a moment of absolute isolation to gather the shattered pieces of your composure. the office floor was an eerie ghost town of dark computer screens and silent corridors. the only sound was the mechanical hum of the industrial printer in the copy room at the far end of the hall. you stood in front of it, watching the updated logistics charts slide smoothly into the tray, one by one.
eleven thirty? no. you were going to leave it on his desk before the clock even struck eight. you needed to reclaim some semblance of control.
the heavy glass door of the copy room clicked, making your heart skip a painful beat. you didn’t turn around immediately, your eyes freezing on the shifting reflection in the dark glass window of the courtyard outside.
jungwon stepped into the room. he didn't rush toward you. he closed the door with a slow, deliberate click, his dark eyes instantly locking onto the back of your neck. he had already shed his suit jacket, his white dress shirt crisp and immaculate, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms with casual neatness. he looked entirely rested, completely untouched by the poison of the night before.
"you're early." he murmured. his voice was already in that register. there was no marketing team here. no senior managers. just the heavy thrum of the printer and the suffocating gravity of his presence.
"i told you it would be ready." you said, your voice tighter than you intended. you reached out to grab the stack of papers from the tray, keeping your back turned to him, desperately using the documents as a shield.
you heard the slow, measured sound of his dress shoes against the linoleum. he stopped just a step behind you. he didn't touch you yet. instead, he leaned forward slightly, his shadow completely engulfing yours as he looked over your shoulder at the printer tray. the heat radiating from his chest was immense, close enough that you could feel the faint movement of his shirt fabric against your back every time he took a breath.
"the logistics flow." jungwon mused softly, his breath ghosting over the sensitive skin behind your ear, making the tiny hairs on your arms stand up. "always so efficient, y/n. always running away into your work the moment things get too heavy."
you swallowed hard, your fingers tightening around the edge of the paper tray until your knuckles turned white. "i'm just doing my job. you can take the files and go."
"is that what you want?" he asked. the question was low, quiet, and laced with a terrifying patience. he reached out, his long fingers slowly sliding into the tray right next to yours. he didn't grab the papers. instead, the side of his index finger brushed against yours, a light, almost imperceptible contact that sent an electric jolt straight down your spine.
you flinched, trying to pull your hand back, but jungwon was faster. his hand turned, his fingers trapping your wrist against the plastic edge of the tray. he didn't squeeze. he just held you there with the weight of his palm, his thumb resting directly over your pulse point, feeling the erratic thudding of your heart.
"you're still shaking." he whispered, his tone dropping into something dark and dangerously satisfied. "just like last night. did you think the morning air would make you forget how it felt?"
you refused to turn around, keeping your face fixed on the blinking light of the copy machine, but your breathing was already turning shallow. "jungwon, stop. someone will come in. the cleaning staff-"
"the cleaning staff finished thirty minutes ago." he interrupted smoothly, his voice a calm barrier that shut out the rest of the world. he took a half step closer, his chest fully pressing into your back now, the solid weight of his body anchoring you against the counter. "we have time. i told you that, didn't i?"
he slowly let go of your wrist, but before you could draw a breath of relief, his hand moved up to your shoulder. his long fingers settled over the fabric of your blouse, his thumb tracing the exact spot where jay's hand had lingered the night before. the pressure was firm, heavy, and intensely possessive, as if he were systematically erasing anyone else's touch from your skin.
"tell me, y/n." jungwon murmured, his jaw brushing against the side of your hair as he leaned in, his voice a raspy vibration that rattled through your bones. "when you were sitting across from me last night, letting him lean into your space... were you thinking about how much harder i would touch you when we were alone?"
the question hung in the warm, enclosed air of the copy room, heavy and explicit. your heart hitched, a fractured sound escaping your throat before you could stop it. you squeezed your eyes shut, hating how instantly your body reacted to the proximity, hating the dizzying rush of heat that flooded your veins despite the icy hangover. "i wasn't thinking about you." you lied, the whisper thin and trembling against the steady hum of the printer.
jungwon let out a low hum against your neck. it wasn't a laugh, it was a sound of pure, clinical amusement. he didn't call you a liar, he didn't need to. instead, his hand slid slowly down from your shoulder, his palm tracing the rigid line of your spine through the fabric of your blazer. the movement was agonizingly gradual, every millimeter of his touch deliberate, testing your resistance, feeling the way your muscles locked tight under his hands.
when his palm reached the small of your back, he paused. he leaned his weight into you just a fraction more, the solid plane of his chest flattening completely against your shoulder blades. the sheer heat of him seemed to melt straight through your corporate layers. "you're so tense." he whispered, his lips brushing the sensitive skin right below your earlobe. you shivered violently, your hands blindly gripping the edge of the printer counter behind you. "relax for me, y/n. we aren't at the table anymore. there's no senior manager to save you this time."
his other hand came up, his long fingers sliding under your chin. he didn't force you to turn around yet. he just tilted your head back slightly, exposing the vulnerable line of your throat. his thumb stroked the soft skin right over your jumping pulse, his touch agonizingly light, a stark contrast to the crushing weight of his body pressing you into the counter. "look at the glass." he murmured softly, a quiet command.
your eyes automatically opened, flickering to the dark reflection in the courtyard window directly ahead. through the dim glass, you could see the two of you — completely tangled together in the shadow of the industrial machine. your head was tilted back against his shoulder, your face flushed and eyes wide with a desperate panic. jungwon was looking at your reflection, his dark eyes hollowed of all his polite warmth, filled instead with that sharp satisfaction. he looked entirely in control. he looked like he owned the very air you were breathing.
"see that?" jungwon whispered, his thumb moving up to trace the trembling outline of your lower lip. "this is exactly how you looked in my head all weekend. desperate. trapped. completely at my mercy." he slowly turned your face toward him, forcing you to break eye contact with the reflection and look directly at his actual features. up close, the golden boy mask was entirely gone. his jaw was set, a heavy intensity clouding his eyes as his gaze dropped to your mouth. he didn't kiss you. he just hovered there, his breath hot and shallow against your lips, letting the tension build until it felt like a physical wire snapping between you.
"jungwon." you breathed, your voice a desperate plea, though even you didn't know if you were begging him to stop or begging him to finally end the torture.
"i'm listening." he murmured, his raspy voice dropping into an even lower register as his hand slid from your chin down to the collar of your blouse, his fingers lightly brushing the exposed skin of your collarbone. "tell me what you want, y/n. tell me to stop. let me hear you say it."
“c-can’t.” you said between pants, feeling too overwhelmed by his presence to remember how to breathe properly.
“you can’t or you won’t? come on, we both know you can. this is a safe place, y/n.” jungwon spoke in a mocking tone, his fingers trailing lower until they hooked into the top edge of your camisole, pulling the silk taut against your skin. “it’s just you and me. no one is going to walk through that door and catch you admitting it.”
the condescending arrogance in his voice hit you like a bucket of ice water. he wasn't just trying to touch you, he was trying to break you. he wanted the satisfaction of hearing you completely dismantle your own walls for his ego.
you swallowed down the panic, forcing your hands flat against his chest. you didn't lean into him. instead, you locked your elbows, pushing back against the solid weight of his frame with every ounce of strength you had left. "i can't because it's pathetic." you said, your voice cracking slightly but carrying a sudden coldness. you forced your eyes up to meet his, refusing to let him see you blink. "you're pathetic, jungwon."
the mocking smile vanished from his face instantly. his dark eyes went wide, then narrowed into two dangerous, icy slits. the absolute stillness that came over him was terrifying. "what did you say?" he murmured, his voice dropping so low it was almost entirely swallowed by the hum of the printer.
"y-you heard me." you breathed, your chest heaving against his palms, your fingers curling into the crisp cotton of his shirt as you fought to keep the distance between your faces. "you spend all week playing the perfect, golden boy coworker, but you're so deeply insecure that the second someone else touches my shoulder, you have to lock me in a room just to force yourself into my head. you didn't lock this door because you're in control. you locked it because you're terrified i'll walk right past your cubicle and not play your little game."
the silence that followed was suffocating. the air in the copy room turned completely hostile. you could feel the violent thudding of his heart beneath your palms — rapid, uneven, and entirely unmasked. you had ripped the skin right off his pride, and for a split second, you saw a flash of genuine fury in his eyes.
his hand at your collar didn't loosen. it tightened, his knuckles digging hard against your collarbone as he slammed his other hand flat on the counter directly over your papers, the heavy bang echoing off the concrete walls. he leaned his entire weight forward, completely crushing your attempt to hold him back, his chest pinning your hands right against his own sternum.
"you think you know me?" jungwon rasped, his face inches from yours, his breath ragged and hot against your mouth. the polite cadence of his voice was completely gone, replaced by a gravelly edge that made your spine freeze. "you think i'm doing this because i'm insecure?"
"let go of me." you demanded, your voice rising, your thighs straining against the solid line of his legs as he anchored you into the machine. you twisted your wrist, trying to tear yourself out of his space, but he didn't give you a single inch of air.
"i told you to say the word 'stop', y/n." he whispered, his jaw setting so hard the muscle in his cheek violently pulsed. his lips brushed against yours with a bruising friction as he spoke, his grip on your waist beneath your shirt turning tight enough to leave marks. "but you didn't say it. you used your mouth to bite at me instead, because you know exactly what happens to those neat little walls of yours the second you actually let me touch you."
your breath caught, the bruising friction of his lips leaving a stinging, electric heat behind. you wanted to spit another insult directly into his face, wanted to tear at the pristine cotton of his shirt just to force his heavy frame off yours, but the sheer physical mass of him was completely overwhelming. he was breathing heavily, his chest expanding and compressing violently against your pinned hands, forcing you to feel every single furious heartbeat.
"i don't want you touching me." you choked out, your voice dropping to a whisper as you tried to wrench your waist out of his grip. you twisted your hips, a sharp effort to break his hold, but his fingers only dug deeper into your skin. his palm slid completely beneath the hem of your shirt, his bare, burning skin making direct contact with the small of your back. the unmediated warmth made you flinch, your spine arching instinctively into his touch even as your mind screamed at you to pull away. he anchored you so firmly against the metal counter that you could feel the hard line of his thigh locking your knees together.
jungwon let out a low, rough sound from the back of his throat. the territorial anger in his eyes didn't vanish, but it shifted, darkening until his pupils practically swallowed the brown of his irises. he liked the fight. he liked that you were clawing for control, because it meant you were entirely consumed by him. "then tell me to stop." he murmured, his voice dropping into that breathless cadence that sent a terrifying ache straight down your lower stomach. he leaned his head down, his lips dragging slowly along the tense line of your jaw, down to the sensitive skin right beneath your ear. "say the word, y/n. tell me you hate this. tell me you want me to let go and go back to my desk."
you bit your lip so hard the iron taste of copper flared on your tongue again. you couldn't say it. the word was physically stuck in your throat, choking you, because deep beneath the suffocating layers of your panic and your rage, the leaden weight in your veins was turning into a pulsing heat. the absolute restriction of your corporate clothes — the tight pencil skirt restricting your movement, the stiff fabric of your blouse pinned against his chest — only made the raw reality of his bare hand on your waist feel a thousand times more scandalous.
"see?" jungwon whispered, his hot breath blooming against your skin as his teeth agonizingly grazed the soft lobe of your ear.
a violent shudder racked your entire frame, and he caught it instantly. his grip on your hip shifted, his palm sliding slowly up the curve of your ribcage, his thumb tracing the spaces between your ribs with a slow pressure that made your breathing fail completely.
"your mouth says one thing," he rasped, his nose dragging across your cheek as he pulled back just enough to look at you. "but your body is begging me not to listen to you."
"i'm not... begging you for anything." you gasped out, your hands finally curling into his shirt, using the grip to try and violently shove him back. when he didn't budge, you tried to bring your knee up, a clumsy attempt to force some space between your lower bodies.
jungwon anticipated it instantly. he shifted his weight, his heavy thigh sliding higher, crowding directly between yours under the cover of your skirt and pinning your legs completely against the lower panel of the printer. the sudden, deep pressure of his leg against the most sensitive part of you sent a violent shockwave straight up your spine.
your eyes flew open, a broken gasp tearing from your throat before you could stop it, your fingers tightening into the cotton of his shirt so hard the seams strained.
jungwon froze. his dark eyes snapped back up to yours, wide and completely wild, his own breath hitching loudly in the quiet room. the mocking arrogance was entirely dead, replaced by a raw, desperate hunger that made his features look sharper, darker, and completely undone. he looked down at your parted lips, his jaw clenching so hard the muscle violently throbbed.
"y/n." he rasped, his voice breaking on your name, the sound so private and broken it made your chest ache. his hand on your ribs slid higher, his thumb lightly brushing the underside of your breast through the silk, his touch no longer calculated, but shaking with the exact same tremor he had mocked you for just minutes ago. "look what you do to me. look at what you're making me do."
your eyes past his shoulder, completely freezing on the frosted glass pane of the door. the sheer terror of a shadow appearing out there made your entire chest lock up, your lungs refusing to expand. "jungwon, the elevator." you breathed, the words a frantic stutter against his chin. "i-i heard the chime. early shifts start at seven. someone is on the floor. let go, please, someone is going to-"
he didn’t even flinch at the mention of the corridor outside. if anything, the risk only seemed to strip away the very last of his restraint. his hand beneath your shirt slid lower, his long fingers hooking directly into the waistband of your skirt. with a slow pressure, his palm slipped completely underneath the fabric, his bare skin making direct contact with the sensitive curve of your hip. you let out a strangled gasp at the sudden touch, the sound instantly muffled as he crowded his chest harder against yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck. "let them walk in." he whispered, his voice a dark vibration that rolled straight through your skin.
his lips dragged heavily along your throat, sucking lightly at the soft skin right over your pulse point until you shivered so violently your fingers lost their grip on his shirt. your knees completely gave out, your lower body turning to lead. but you didn’t fall as the solid mass of his thigh wedged deeply between yours, riding high against your crotch under the cover of your tangled skirts. he shifted his weight, the blunt, agonizingly slow friction of his leg pressing directly into the aching center of your heat.
and then, through the heavy thrum of the printer, you heard it. the distant, rhythmic click of dress shoes on the floor down the hall. someone was walking toward the supply wing. panic flared white-hot in your stomach, a chaotic rush of adrenaline that made you violently struggle against him. you shoved your palms against his hard chest, twisting your hips in a desperate effort to tear yourself away from his leg before the footsteps could get closer. "jungwon, they're coming down the corridor.” you whimpered, your voice cracking with a very real, suffocating terror. "stop, please, the lights are on, they'll see our shadows through the glass-"
instead of pulling back, jungwon grabbed both of your wrists in a single, iron grip, forcing your hands down and pinning them flat against the cold metal counter behind your hips. you were completely exposed, your back arched over the machine, your chest heaving past your open blouse as he looked down at you with ravenous eyes. his free hand slid down from your hip, his fingers disappearing entirely beneath the hem of your skirt. the fabric hitched up past your thighs as his palm moved upward, tracing the bare skin of your inner thigh with a terrifyingly deliberate speed. you tried to lock your legs together, to bite down on the heat, but his knee pushed harder between yours, forcing you open, anchoring you so tightly against the counter that you couldn’t move a single inch.
the footsteps outside grew louder, pausing just a few meters away near the central cubicles. "jungwon, please." you cried out in a breathless plea, tears of sheer panic pricking the corners of your eyes as you stared at the door, expecting the handle to turn at any second.
he leaned down until his lips were hovering a millimeter away from yours, catching the frantic, terrified pants breaking from your mouth. his long fingers slid past the lace edge of your underwear, his knuckles brushing against your damp skin, finding the slick, embarrassingly hot reality of how ruined you already were for him. "then don't make a sound." he murmured, his jaw clenching as his fingers slowly slid inside you, making you give a helpless lurch against his hand. his dark eyes burned into yours, completely unhinged, as he whispered into your lips. "if you breathe too loud, y/n, they're going to hear you."
the words died in your throat, instantly choked out by the agonizingly deep, slow stretch of his fingers moving inside you. a sharp tremor racked your lower body, your hips lifting off the counter in a desperate reflex to escape the overwhelming intrusion. but jungwon wouldn't let you move. his iron grip on your wrists clamped down harder against the metal, the cold surface biting into your skin while his heavy thigh pinned your knees wide apart, keeping you utterly trapped against his hand.
outside, the distinct sound of a drawer opening cut through the heavy silence of the floor. a binder was pulled out, the plastic rings clicking open, just on the other side of the thin wall. tears of sheer panic spilled over your lashes, blurring your vision as you stared at the door. your mouth parted to let out a ragged sob of fear, but jungwon immediately leaned down, sealing his lips over yours to capture the sound before it could even form. the kiss was bruising and desperate, an unyielding barrier that completely swallowed your frantic pants.
beneath your skirt, his hand began to move with an agonizingly slow, rhythmic friction. each stroke was a deliberate torture, his fingers sliding deeply into your aching heat before curling slightly, deliberately targeting the sensitive walls within you. your core clenched violently around his touch, a shameful wetness coating his knuckles as your body betrayed your terror, adapting instantly to his rhythm.
jungwon let out a shuddering breath through his nose, his forehead pressing hard against yours as he kept his mouth locked over yours. you could taste the faint hint of mint and the raw heat of his desire, his jaw working against yours as his thumb found the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. he pressed down firmly, moving in a tight, heavy circle that sent a devastating jolt of pure pleasure straight up your spine.
you buckled against him, your fingers spasming within his tight grip, trying to claw at the counter to find some anchor. a muffled, high pitched whimper leaked into his mouth, your chest heaving violently against his sternum as the edge of an inevitable climax began to tighten in your lower stomach. you twisted your face away from his, trying to breathe, trying to beg him to stop before you lost control entirely.
"please." you mouthed against his jaw, your voice nothing more than a silent puff of air. "jungwon, they'll hear."
the rustle of papers outside paused again. the heavy sound of a sigh carried through the quiet corridor, followed by the slow, turning scrape of dress shoes. they were moving again, their footsteps pacing closer to the copy room door this time, the shadow growing larger against the frosted glass pane.
jungwon's eyes snapped open, dark and completely wild with the illicit thrill of the risk. he didn't pull his hand back. instead, his fingers drove deeper, hooking into you with a possessive speed that made your hips violently jerk against his thigh. his mouth came right back to your ear, his teeth grazing the sensitive lobe as he whispered in a ragged tone.
"hold it in." he breathed, the words a cutting command against your wet skin. "if you make a sound right now, they're going to open this door."
the shadow on the frosted glass stopped directly in front of the entrance. the silhouette was sharp, the distinct outline of a hand reaching out toward the silver handle visible through the pane. panic turned into absolute, paralyzing ice in your veins. your eyes stretched wide, staring at the shifting metal of the handle, waiting for the distinct click of the lock to draw their attention. you wanted to vanish into the floor, wanted to claw your way out of his grip, but your body was entirely failing you.
beneath your skirt, jungwon didn't give you a single second to process the terror. his thumb pressed down with a heavy force against your core, while his fingers drove into your slick heat with a sudden, relentless pace. the friction was overwhelming, a wave of pleasure fracturing your mind completely and turning the fear into something dangerously volatile.
a suffocating sob rose from your chest, your mouth opening in a silent, desperate scream for him to stop, to let you breathe, to save you from the imminent ruin. but jungwon caught your face with his free hand, his palm clamping hard over your mouth to stifle the sound before it could leave your lips. his long fingers dug into your cheeks, forcing your head back against his shoulder as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
you buckled violently against his palm, your hips jerking upward as the intense contraction of a climax slammed into your lower stomach. it was an agonizing, silent explosion. your core clamped down ruthlessly around his moving fingers, pulsing in tight waves that had you trembling from head to toe. the sheer intensity of it made your vision go dark at the edges, your body shaking helplessly against the hard metal counter while every single muffled gasp was completely crushed into the skin of his hand.
outside, the door handle gave a sharp, sudden rattle. someone was trying to push it open, but jungwon didn't pull back. he let out a ragged groan against your collarbone, his jaw clenching so hard the bone looked sharp as his fingers curled deeply inside you, absorbing the violent spasms of your release. his dark eyes flickered to the rattling handle, a dangerous, completely unhinged intensity clouding his features as he listened to the muffled voice outside mutter an annoyed curse about the door being jammed.
the footsteps finally turned away, the heavy sound of dress shoes retreating back down the long corridor toward the main elevators.
only when the silence of the office floor returned did jungwon slowly slide his wet fingers out from beneath your skirt. his palm remained firmly over your mouth for a few seconds longer, catching the broken pants that tore from your throat as your legs turned to water. you collapsed heavily against his chest, completely ruined, with nothing but the mechanical hum of the printer to fill the space between you.
he slowly lowered his hand from your mouth, his fingers brushing lightly against your wet lips. you immediately turned your head away, drawing in a ragged breath that trembled in your chest. the silence of the copy room returned, thick and suffocating.
you tried to smooth down your skirt with shaking hands, your fingers catching on the wrinkled fabric. the reality of what had just happened — and how close you had come to being caught — settled heavily in your stomach. a sharp knot of anxiety and resentment tightened in your throat.
"let me go." you whispered, refusing to look at him as you pushed weakly against his chest. "someone else will be here soon. the department starts filling up in ten minutes."
jungwon didn't move. he stood perfectly still, his chest expanding slowly against your palms as he looked down at you. the sharp, mocking arrogance was gone, replaced by a quiet, heavy intensity that felt far more dangerous. he looked at your flushed cheeks, your swollen lips, and the way your chest was still heaving. he was breathing heavily too, his usual immaculate composure slightly frayed, his tie shifted slightly to the side.
"you're still burning up." he murmured softly, his voice dropping into that low, raspy register. he reached out, his long fingers catching your jaw and gently but firmly turning your face back toward him. "and you're still looking at the door."
"because this is insane!" you gritted out, a tear of frustration finally slipping down your cheek. "you locked me in a copy room. anyone could have walked in. you could have ruined everything."
he didn't answer right away. he just stared at you, his dark eyes tracking the tear down your cheek before his gaze dropped back to your mouth. the silence stretched between you, heavy with everything left unsaid. there was a quiet weight to his presence, an undeniable gravity that made it impossible to truly step away even though his grip on your wrists had loosened.
slowly, his hand slid from your jaw down to the open collar of your blouse. his knuckles brushed against your collarbone, making you flinch, but you didn't pull away. your body was still humming from the release, completely sensitized, and the cool air of the room against your damp skin only made his touch feel warmer.
"i didn't ruin it." he whispered, his thumb lightly tracing the center of your lower lip. his other hand settled on your hip, his fingers digging into the fabric of your skirt, pulling your lower body back flush against his thigh. "and we aren't finished."
the quiet certainty in his voice made your heart skip a beat. you glanced at the frosted glass of the door again, the terror of being seen mixing with the pulsing ache that was already rebuilding in your lower stomach.
jungwon reached down, his fingers working efficiently at the buckle of his belt. the metallic click sounded incredibly loud in the small room. he didn't make a scene, he just looked at you with a calm, dark focus that made your knees feel weak all over again. he unzipped his slacks, his thick, rigid length freeing itself against your thigh. he hooked his hand under your knee, lifting your leg slightly to anchor it against his hip, his eyes never leaving yours as he guided himself directly against your wet opening.
"quiet, y/n." he murmured, his breath hot against your face as he leaned his weight forward. "keep your eyes on me."
he sank into you slowly, a deliberate pressure that made your eyes stretch wide as he filled you completely. a choked gasp caught in your throat, your fingers instantly digging into the hard fabric of his shoulders to keep from crying out. the stretch was immense, a burning ache that immediately sent a trembling wave of heat straight to your core.
jungwon let out a low, shaky exhale against your lips, his jaw tight as he paused, letting your tight walls adjust to the thick length of his cock. he didn't move for a long moment, simply holding you pinned against the printer, his gaze locked ruthlessly onto yours. you could see the subtle fracture in his calm facade — the way his pupils were completely dilated, the rapid pulse jumping in his neck, the sheer heat radiating from his skin.
"look at me." he whispered again, his voice a gravelly thread.
you forced yourself to keep eye contact, even as a distant telephone began to ring out in the main bullpen, a stark reminder that the office was slowly coming to life. every second he stayed inside you felt like a countdown to absolute disaster.
slowly, jungwon began to move. he pulled back just far enough to tease, before driving back in with a deep thrust that tilted your hips back against the counter. the friction was agonizingly perfect, hitting the exact spot his fingers had ruined just minutes before. your back arched instinctively, a desperate, muffled whimper escaping your lips before you could stop it.
instantly, jungwon’s hand came up, his palm pressing firmly over your mouth to stifle the sound. he didn't stop his rhythm. he kept the pace slow and bruising, his hips grinding into yours with a steady desperation that left you entirely breathless. under the cover of your hitched up skirt, the wet, sliding sound of his entry felt dangerously loud in the quiet room.
“shhhh. see how easy it was? mmh?” the vibration of his low voice hummed right against your ear, the condescending edge returning but wrapped in a breathless desperation that betrayed how deeply he was actually unraveling. you shook your head against his palm, a muffled protest dying against his skin as he drove into you again, harder this time. the blunt force of his hips bottoming out against yours made your vision blur, the intense internal friction striking a cord of pure pleasure that threatened to snap your remaining restraint.
he liked the resistance, but he liked your body's compliance even more. his fingers shifted slightly on your face, his thumb digging into the soft flesh of your cheek to keep you looking directly at him while his lower body maintained that punishing rhythm. the slick friction between your thighs was getting louder with every thrust, a scandalous sound that made your face burn with a fresh wave of shame.
outside, the distinct whine of the main printer network warming up echoed through the wall. someone had just logged into their computer at a nearby cubicle. the floor was officially waking up.
jungwon noticed it too. his eyes narrowed, a dangerous thrill flashing through his gaze as he leaned in even closer, his chest completely crushing your pinned hands against his sternum. he pulled out almost completely, a cruel, agonizingly slow withdrawal that left you feeling hollow and aching, before he slammed back in all the way to the hilt.
a loud, broken gasp was completely smothered by his hand, your hips jerking helplessly against his heavy thigh as a sudden wave of heat coiled tightly in your lower stomach.
"you're shaking." he murmured against his own palm, his breath hot and damp over your mouth as his pace finally began to quicken, losing its calculated restraint. his jaw was set so hard the muscle violently pulsed, his own breathing breaking into uneven pants against your neck. "look at you. you're so tight around me. tell me how pathetic i am now, y/n."
he didn't wait for an answer, nor did he give you the room to form one. he lifted your leg a fraction higher, anchoring you ruthlessly against his hip as his thrusts became faster, deeper, and entirely unmasked. every heavy push drove you closer to another ruinous collapse, your fingers clawing uselessly at his shoulders as you fought to keep from making a single sound that would bring the office crashing down around you.
your teeth sank directly into the meat of his palm, a desperate, vicious bite to keep from screaming as another brutal thrust hit your core. jungwon let out a gravelly hiss against your ear, but he didn't pull his hand away. if anything, the sharp pain only made his grip on your face tighten, his fingers digging into your jaw with a bruising force that kept your head pinned back against the metal machine. his hips didn't slow down for a fraction of a second, they slammed into yours with an unhinged speed that had the heavy industrial printer rattling faintly beneath your lower back.
the wet, sticky friction between your thighs was unbearable, a visual and physical ruin that made your mind spin with a sickening blend of terror and intense pleasure. outside, the heavy click of a ceramic mug hitting a desk sounded just feet away from the copy room door.
"jungwon... mmmph." you tried to speak against his skin, your words muffled into an unidentifiable whine as your hips violently buckled. you were getting too close, the coiled heat in your stomach tightening into a knot so sharp it made your knees completely lose their strength. you were going to fall apart right there, right into his hands, with half the marketing team just beyond the frosted glass.
he pulled his hand down from your mouth just a millimeter, his eyes wild and dark, entirely consumed by the sight of your ruined, weeping expression. "say it." he rasped, his voice an unraveled mess as he drove himself into you to the absolute hilt, over and over. "tell me what you want me to do before someone opens this door, y/n. tell me."
"please." you choked out, your voice a pathetic whisper, your fingers tearing at the crisp fabric of his shirt as the impending wave crashed over you. "hurry... jungwon, please, they're right outside."
a low, triumphant growl tore from the back of his throat. he didn't play the mocking gentleman anymore, he just grabbed your other thigh, completely lifting you off the counter as his thrusts became deep, blind, and ruthlessly heavy. your core clenched around him in violent contractions, a silent climax shattering your posture as you buried your face into his neck, biting his collarbone to swallow the ragged scream tearing from your lungs.
jungwon gave two more desperate shoves into your pulsing heat, his whole body locking up as a low groan escaped his lips. he buried his face in your hair, his length twitching deeply inside you as he filled you completely, his chest heaving against your crushed ribs.
the silence that followed was heavy and deafening, save for the frantic synchronicity of your breathing. he kept you lifted against him for a long moment, his body trembling slightly from the sheer force of his release as his weight anchored you firmly to the edge of the metal counter. outside, the murmur of two coworkers talking about their weekend plans drifted through the drywall, their voices casual, entirely unaware of the absolute ruin taking place just inches away.
slowly, the tension began to drain from jungwon’s rigid frame. he let out a shuddering exhale against your temple, his forehead resting heavily against yours as his grip on your thighs loosened just enough to let your heels touch the floor again. your knees immediately buckled, your legs feeling like jelly, and you had to clutch the front of his shirt just to keep your balance.
"stay still." he murmured, his voice incredibly low and rough, stripped entirely of its usual smooth cadence.
he didn't pull out of you immediately. instead, his hands slid up from your thighs to your waist, his thumbs tracing the small of your back beneath your shirt as he waited for the aftershocks of your climax to finally subside. every tiny, involuntary twitch of your inner muscles made his jaw clench, a lingering heat still humming between your lower bodies.
the internal turmoil in your chest was suffocating. you felt exposed, completely unraveled, and the sharp sting of shame was already beginning to fight its way through the fading haze of pleasure. you had begged him. you had completely dismantled your own walls and given him exactly what he wanted just because you were terrified of being caught.
"let me down." you whispered, your voice raw and completely spent, your eyes fixed strictly on the silver buttons of his vest. you couldn't bring yourself to look at his face, not with the sticky reality of what you had just done settling between your thighs.
jungwon didn't argue. with a careful shift of his weight, he slid out of you. the sudden absence of his heat made you shiver, a cold drop of moisture tracing its way down your inner thigh as the fabric of your underwear snapped back into place, damp and ruined.
he stepped back just half an inch, his fingers lingering on your hips for a split second before he reached down to fix his trousers. the click of his belt buckle sounded agonizingly permanent, signaling the immediate return of the corporate world you had both just violently stepped out of. jungwon reached around you without a word, his long fingers smoothly pressing the button on the top console of the copier. the machine came alive with a loud whir, instantly printing the remaining pages of your presentation, the rhythmic thumping of the paper tray filling the tense silence between you.
it was a clean, jarring transition back to reality. you immediately smoothed down your pencil skirt, your hands still trembling so violently that you could barely straighten the hem over your knees. you tucked your blouse back into the waistband with clumsy movements, your heart still hammering against your ribs from the sheer panic of the hallway voices. the dampness between your thighs was a humiliating reminder of what had just happened, but you forced yourself to ignore it, turning your back to him to gather the freshly printed documents from the tray.
behind you, the rustle of fabric signaled jungwon fixing his tie. when you finally turned around, the wild animal from moments ago was completely gone.
he was standing by the door, adjusting the cuffs of his pristine white shirt, his expression perfectly unreadable. his jaw was no longer clenched, his breathing had completely evened out, and the immaculate, polite golden boy facade was back in place as if it had never left. if it weren't for the slight flush lingering on his neck and the faint scent of your shared heat in the small room, you could have easily convinced yourself you imagined the whole thing. he reached for the silver handle, unlocking the door with a practiced click that felt devastatingly casual.
"the quarterly reports for the marketing team are on your desk, right?" he asked, his voice returning to that smooth, pleasant tone he used during morning meetings. there was no trace of the gravelly whisper that had just ruined you against the counter.
you swallowed the thick lump of shame in your throat, clutching the stack of papers against your chest like a shield. "yes. i'll review them before the noon briefing."
"perfect. let's make sure the formatting is correct before we present to the board." he replied, giving you a polite, professional nod.
he opened the door, stepping out into the bright, bustling corridor without a single backward glance, immediately greeting a passing manager with his charming smile. you stood alone in the dim room for a second longer, your legs still shaking, forced to step right out behind him and pretend the neat little walls of your corporate life hadn't just been completely shattered.
the transition was so seamless it made your stomach turn. you stepped out into the hallway a few paces behind him, the fluorescent lights of the main floor hitting your eyes with a punishing brightness. the office was alive now. the low hum of chatter, the sharp clacking of keyboards, and the scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as if the world hadn't completely shifted on its axis over the last twenty minutes.
you walked past the central cubicles, your thigh muscles tightening painfully with every step, a constant, physical reminder of his weight pinning you down. it was terrifying how normal everything looked. you could feel the damp silk of your underwear clinging to your skin, a secret weight, while jungwon walked a few meters ahead of you with a perfectly straight spine, smoothly dropping off a folder at the reception desk.
he didn't look back at you. not once.
when you reached your desk, you sat down a little too quickly, a small gasp catching in your throat as your sensitized skin made contact with the cold chair. you immediately pulled the stack of warm printer papers in front of you, staring blindly at the columns of numbers. your mind was a chaotic, spinning mess of internal noise. how is he doing that? you thought, your fingers trembling as you gripped your pen. how is he just sitting there?
across the small divider, you could see the top of his dark head as he settled into his own desk. he adjusted his monitor, clicked his mouse, and reached for his pen with the exact same calm precision he displayed every single morning.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
in the weeks that followed, the absolute silence between you became a far more brutal punishment than any of his condescending words in the copy room.
the facade didn't break. not that day, not the next, and not during the endless string of standard departmental meetings that dragged on through the middle of the month. jungwon went back to being the perfect golden boy of the floor. he passed you files with a polite, entirely blank nod. he answered your emails with professional efficiency. if your fingers accidentally brushed over a shared document during a briefing, his hand would retract instantly, his expression remaining so utterly detached you started to wonder if you had hallucinated the entire thing again.
but the physical memory of him refused to fade. every time you walked past that specific frosted glass door in the morning, your stomach would drop, a phantom warmth blooming low in your belly. you hated how your eyes automatically tracked him through the glass partition of his cubicle, how you caught yourself memorizing the slight roll of his sleeves or the sharp line of his jaw when he leaned over his desk.
you were drowning in the quiet, agonizing space he had put between you, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, but jungwon simply refused to acknowledge it. your biggest fear had actually come true and you couldn’t do much about it.
until a rainy tuesday three weeks later. the rest of the team had already left for a corporate dinner you had skipped, leaving the floor dark and empty save for the steady hum of the fluorescent lights above your desk. you were typing a final report, your shoulders tense, when a shadow suddenly fell across your papers.
you snapped your head up. jungwon was standing on the other side of your partition, his trench coat slung over his arm, his briefcase already in hand. he looked exactly like he did every evening — immaculate, composed, completely out of reach.
"i'm locking up the main floor." he said, his voice carrying that pleasant cadence that had kept you at a distance for twenty one days. "are you finishing up soon, y/n?"
you swallowed hard, your fingers freezing over the keys as the sheer, suffocating weight of his presence hit you all at once. the weeks of forced indifference, the stolen glances, and the burning shame of that morning in the supply closet flared hot in your chest. "i have ten minutes left." you managed to say, forcing your voice to stay even, refusing to let him see how much his simple proximity was making your pulse race. "you don't have to wait for me."
jungwon didn't move. he stood perfectly still in the dim aisle, his dark eyes fixed on your face. for a long second, the silence stretched between you, thick with the unspoken reality of what you had done against that counter.
then, very slowly, his gaze dropped to your mouth. it was the first real break in his mask in a month. his jaw clenched, the muscle in his cheek giving a sharp pulse, and the familiar, dangerous intensity flooded his eyes, clouding the brown until they looked almost entirely black. he wasn't looking at a coworker anymore. he was looking at you the exact same way he had right before he pinned your wrists to the metal.
"ten minutes." he murmured, his voice dropping into that low register that made your spine instantly freeze. he didn't step closer, and he didn't touch you, but the territorial, heavy grip of his eyes felt like a physical weight against your skin. "i'll be by the elevators." he turned and walked away before you could breathe, his dress shoes clicking sharply against the floor, leaving you trembling in the empty office with the terrifying realization that the walls you had spent weeks building hadn't actually kept anything out.
after those agonizing ten minutes quickly passed, the elevator doors slid shut with a synchronized click, leaving the two of you entirely alone in the descending steel box.
the silence was thick, pressing heavily against your eardrums as the floor numbers ticked downward. you stood in the corner, clutching the strap of your bag with white-knuckled intensity, your eyes glued to the polished metal doors. you could feel the suffocating friction of his presence just two feet away. your mind was a chaotic, spinning mess of internal noise, replaying the dark look he had just given you across your desk. did he mean it? is he going to do something? you glanced at him from beneath your lashes, your heart hammering against your ribs.
jungwon was leaning casually against the handrail, one hand slid carelessly into his trouser pocket while the other held his briefcase. his eyes were fixed on the digital display above the door, his expression completely blank, perfectly smooth, and utterly nonchalant. the raspy voice from three minutes ago might as well have belonged to a ghost. his jaw was loose, his breathing perfectly rhythmic.
a sickening knot of realization twisted sharply in your stomach. he doesn't care. the thought hit you like a physical blow, draining the residual heat from your veins and replacing it with a hollow ache. the fierce, territorial grip of his eyes back at your cubicle hadn't been a confession or a break in his mask — it was just a reflex. a passing thought. he was just playing with you, testing to see if he still had that terrifying gravity over your body, and you had shown him your absolute ruin in a single second. you had let him see how easily he could freeze you when you had vehemently swore it could never happen, while he didn't even have the decency to let his composure slip for more than a heartbeat.
the elevator chimed, the doors sliding open to reveal the dim, echoing expanse of the underground parking garage. jungwon straightened up smoothly, stepping out onto the concrete without waiting for you. his easy strides carried him toward his sleek sedan, his coat swinging slightly with the movement. he looked so effortlessly out of your reach, a pristine corporate entity who hadn't spent the last three weeks drowning in the memory of your slick heat coating his knuckles. to him, it was just another day. it was just an empty office floor.
"drive safe, y/n." he called out over his shoulder, his voice carrying that entirely detached cadence as he unlocked his car with a distant beep. he didn't look back to see your expression. he just slid into the driver's seat, closing the door with a definitive thud that echoed through the empty garage, leaving you standing under the flickering lights, completely hollowed out by his indifference.
you didn’t move until the taillights of his car disappeared up the concrete ramp, leaving the garage in a darker quiet. the bite of the underground air finally pierced through the numbness in your chest, forcing a shaky breath from your throat. you hated him. you hated him so deeply in that moment, but more than anything, you hated the pathetic way your skin still felt too tight, still humming with a desperate, unearned adrenaline just because he had looked at your mouth.
it was a game, you reminded yourself as you unlocked your own car, your fingers stiff against the steering wheel. just a power trip. you had spent three weeks thinking you were sharing a suffocating secret, drowning in the memory of his fingers, while he had probably forgotten the exact color of the underwear he had pushed aside.
the next morning, you arrived early, your spine perfectly straight, your eyes cold. you had spent the entire night rebuilding your own walls, cementing them with the raw humiliation of his easy departure.
and jungwon made it incredibly easy for you to believe the lie.
over the next two weeks, you watched him play his part with a terrifying, flawless precision. he still was the department's golden boy, the immaculate genius every higher-up adored and every intern whispered about. you sat at your desk and watched him smile charmingly at the new girl from hr, leaning just close enough to make her blush while he explained the expense report system. you heard the rumors through the office grapevine — how he had been seen leaving a lounge downtown with a senior designer from product development last friday, his jacket slung over his arm, looking effortlessly smooth.
he still was methodical. he still was calculated. he picked them apart, charmed them, used them, and then returned to his desk on monday morning without a single hair out of place. you were nothing special to him. you were just a checkbox in his sick need for control, a momentary lapse where he wanted to see if he could break the one person who didn't look at him like he hung the moon.
so you needed to stop looking. you treated him like a piece of office furniture — functional, necessary, and completely uninteresting. when he passed you files, you didn't look at his eyes. when he emailed you, you replied with one word confirmations. you forced yourself to believe you were completely over it.
but because you were the only one who actually saw past the perfect golden armor, you were the only one who noticed the tiny, almost invisible cracks.
it started with his posture. jungwon always sat perfectly straight, but lately, whenever jay came over to your desk to laugh and linger a little too long, jungwon’s broad shoulders would turn entirely rigid behind his partition. his keyboard would go dead silent. he wouldn't turn around, he wouldn't break his perfect facade, but his pen would stop clicking, hovering over his paperwork until jay finally walked away.
then came the morning briefings. he would sit at the head of the conference table, smoothly delivering metrics to the team with his usual pleasant, charming tone. everyone was captivated. but your eyes were fixed on his hands. while his voice was perfectly steady, his thumb was repeatedly tracing the silver band of his watch — a restless motion he only did when he was deeply unsettled. and once, just once, when you leaned forward to grab a printout, his eyes flickered down to your collarbone, his jaw tightening so hard the muscle violently pulsed before he smoothly transitioned to the next slide.
on friday afternoon, right before clock out, the office was buzzing with the energy of the weekend, people packing up their bags and making loud plans. jungwon was surrounded by three girls from marketing, holding court near the elevators, offering them that effortless, dimpled smile that always made them giggle. from your desk, he looked completely unbothered, entirely back to his usual routine of being the untouchable favorite.
you quietly zipped your bag, sliding your chair back to leave through the side exit, wanting to avoid the elevator crowd entirely.
as you walked past the main copy room — the very room that still made your stomach drop every time you glanced at the frosted glass — the door suddenly clicked open a fraction of an inch.
you paused, your heart skipping a beat. jungwon was inside, dropping off a stack of recycled papers. he hadn't seen you yet. he was completely alone, away from his audience, and for a split second, the charming golden boy was entirely dead. his head was down, his chest heaving in a slow breath that looked incredibly heavy. his fingers were gripping the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles were stark white. the exact spot where he had pinned your wrists.
you took a step back, your shoes scuffing lightly against the floor. jungwon’s head snapped up. through the gap in the door, his dark eyes locked onto yours. the pleasant, fake sweet mask he had been wearing at the elevators just two minutes ago was completely shattered, replaced by a hollowed out frustration that made your breath hitch. he didn't move, and he didn't say a word. you both just stood there, the heavy silence of the copy room bleeding out into the hallway, cutting straight through the distant chatter of the office.
his eyes didn't leave yours. the unhinged intensity you thought you had imagined was right there, clouding the brown of his pupils until they looked almost black. his knuckles remained white against the counter, his broad shoulders rising and falling with that same heavy breath. it was a silent confession he couldn't take back, a glaring proof that while he was out there playing the untouchable prince, he was secretly rotting in the exact same memory that had been torturing you for weeks.
he’s losing, the realization hit your chest with a dizzying jolt. he’s pretending just as hard as i am. but then, almost as quickly as it had shattered, his mask began to piece itself back together. you could see the exact moment his calculating mind took over. his fingers slowly uncurled from the edge of the counter, his spine straightening into that familiar, impeccable posture. he let out a dismissive breath through his nose, his jaw tightening into a smooth, even line as he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt.
by the time he took a step toward the doorway, it all was gone, replaced once again by the flawless colleague. "going home?" he asked, his voice sliding effortlessly back into that casual tone that made your stomach turn. he didn't lean in, and he didn't look at your mouth. he just stepped out into the hallway, pulling the copy room door shut behind him with a definitive click.
"yes." you managed to say, your voice flat, your fingers tightening around the strap of your bag. you hated how your heart was still hammering against your ribs, how your body still reacted to his proximity even when his eyes were completely blank again.
"good. enjoy the weekend, y/n." he replied, giving you an entirely standard nod that you would see him give any other staff member.
he turned on his heel and walked right back toward the elevators, smoothly slipping back into the crowd of marketing girls who were still waiting for him. as you walked away through the side exit, your chest ached with a burning confusion. he was still that same fake, dangerous boy, completely unreachable, but you were pretty sure of what you saw. the immaculate armor had a leak, and for the first time in a month, you didn’t seem to be the only one suffocating.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
you spent the entire weekend trapped in the memory of those three seconds. no matter how hard you tried to push it away — whether you were cleaning your apartment or staring blindly at the television — all you could see was the unraveled frustration in his eyes before his mask snapped back into place. it changed everything. you had spent weeks drowning in shame, convinced you were the only one broken by what had happened, while he just smoothly moved on to the next person. but now it seemed like his nonchalance was just as fake as his charming, dimpled smile.
by monday morning, the office atmosphere felt different, charged with a quiet, invisible current that only the two of you could feel. you sat at your desk, keeping your head down, but you didn't feel like a victim anymore. the dynamic had subtly shifted. when jungwon arrived, he was back to his usual routine — laughing politely at a manager's bad joke, offering a sweet, effortless greeting to the receptionist. but as he walked past your partition to get to his desk, you didn't look away this time. you kept your eyes fixed on your screen, perfectly still, letting your deliberate indifference hang in the air like a wall.
you heard the distinct slide of his briefcase hitting his desk, followed by a sudden silence. he didn't sit down right away.
for a long, tense minute, the only sound between your cubicles was the low hum of the air conditioner. you could feel his gaze burning through the small gap in the divider, heavy and demanding, practically begging you to look up and give him the validation he always took from you. but you didn't give him a single inch. you casually reached for your ceramic mug, took a slow sip of your coffee, and clicked on your email spreadsheet. the keys of his keyboard suddenly rattled under his fingers with a force that was just a fraction too aggressive for his usual methodical rhythm.
around eleven, jay strolled over to your desk, leaning his hip against the edge of your partition with a lazy grin. "hey, y/n. a few of us are grabbing lunch down at that new bistro by the plaza later. you should come. i'll even cover your dessert if you help me look over the Q2 projections afterwards."
you offered jay a genuine smile, leaning back in your chair. "sure, jay. that sounds really nice, actually. let me just finish up this report."
"perfect. it's a date, then." jay joked, giving you a playful wink before turning to leave.
the exact second jay's footsteps faded down the hall, the quiet clicking of jungwon's keyboard completely stopped. the silence from his cubicle was suffocating, thick with a sudden, icy hostility that made the hairs on your arms stand up.
a moment later, your inbox chimed with a new notification:
From: Yang Jungwon
To: Y/N
Subject: Q2 Presentation Formatting
Please bring the physical drafts of the marketing presentation to the main archive room on B1. There are inconsistencies in the data layout that need to be corrected immediately before the afternoon briefing.
your heart gave a violent thud against your ribs. the archive room. that windowless, isolated space in the basement where almost no one went during the day. you stared at the text on your screen, your fingers freezing over your mouse as the internal turmoil flared white-hot in your chest all over again. he was pulling the strings, falling back on his authority because his perfect, fake sweet persona wasn't working on you. he was desperate to get you behind a closed door, desperate to find out if he still held that volatile gravity over your body.
you slowly printed out the sheets, the rhythmic thumping of the machine sounding like a countdown. you gathered the warm papers against your chest, your knees feeling slightly weak as you stood up, forced to walk toward the elevators and find out exactly how much further his flawless armor was going to crack.
the basement air hit you first — cool, damp, and smelling faintly of dust and old paper.
the heavy steel door of the archive room clicked shut behind you with an echoing thud that made your chest tighten. it was completely isolated down there, rows of high metal shelves stretching out under the harsh buzz of fluorescent tubes. you walked down the center aisle, the physical drafts clutched tightly against your chest like a shield, your heels clicking softly on the smooth concrete.
jungwon was already there. he was standing by a long metal sorting table at the back of the room, casually flipping through a thick folder. his suit jacket was off, draped neatly over the back of a nearby chair, and the sleeves of his crisp white shirt were rolled up to his elbows with that effortless precision.
"you said there were inconsistencies." you said, your voice cutting through the silence. you kept it flat, professional, and entirely devoid of the breathy panic you knew he was used to extracting from you. you stepped up to the opposite side of the wide metal table, sliding the stack of papers across the cold surface between you.
jungwon didn't look up immediately. he slowly finished the line he was reading, tapped his pen against the table twice, and then finally raised his eyes.
the forced nonchalance in his gaze was breathtakingly thin, but he held it together. the pleasant, fake nice colleague was perfectly intact. "slide four." he murmured, his voice smooth, though it carried a quiet weight that felt incredibly heavy in the small room. "the formatting doesn't match the logistics ledger. we can't present sloppy work to the board."
"it's not sloppy." you replied smoothly, leaning your palms against the edge of the table, deliberately matching his unbothered posture. "jay reviewed the data layout with me last week. he said it was perfect."
the mention of his name hit the air like a live wire. jungwon’s fingers tightened around his pen for a fraction of a second, his knuckles turning pale before he relaxed his grip. he didn't snap, and he didn't raise his voice. instead, he leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on the metal table, looking at you with a calm, analytical focus that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
"jay doesn't sign off on your department's metrics." jungwon said, his tone dropping into a slightly lower register that sent a phantom shiver down your spine. "i do. if he wants to audit your work, he can do it through the proper channels. until then, i need you to align these numbers."
"i'll fix it at my desk, then." you said, reaching out to pull the papers back toward yourself, desperate to break the suffocating gravity of his presence.
but jungwon didn't let go of his side of the papers. his hand clamped down flat on the top sheet, trapping the documents against the metal. his dark eyes locked onto yours. the silence stretched between you and you could see the faint pulse jumping in his neck, the slight tightness in his jaw.
"we have an hour before the briefing, y/n." he murmured, his voice losing just a bit of its polished edge. "do it here. i need to verify it in real time."
you swallowed hard, your internal turmoil flaring white hot. you wanted to push back, wanted to call him out on his transparent power play, but the sheer, addictive thrill of having his unmasked attention kept you rooted to the spot. without breaking eye contact, you slowly pulled your laptop out of your bag, setting it on the cold metal table.
for the next ten minutes, the only sound in the archive room was the rhythmic clicking of your keyboard. you sat on a metal stool, keeping your posture rigid. jungwon remained directly across from you, ostensibly reviewing his ledger, but you could feel his eyes tracking every minor movement of your fingers, the way your collarbone shifted when you breathed, the tension in your shoulders. it was an agonizing tug of war, a silent battle of attrition to see who would fold first.
"done." you finally said, your voice sounding a little too thin in the quiet room. you pushed the laptop an inch forward. "the metrics are aligned."
jungwon closed his folder. instead of leaning over the table to look at the screen, he walked around it. every step he took felt impossibly loud. he didn't stop until he was standing right beside your stool, so close that his thigh brushed against your shoulder. his expensive scent entirely crowded out the musty smell of the basement, sending a treacherous wave of heat straight to your lower stomach. you froze, your hands resting rigidly in your lap, refusing to look up at him.
he leaned down, planting one hand on the metal table right next to your laptop, the other resting on the back of your stool, entirely caging you in. "is this what jay taught you?" jungwon murmured, his voice a mocking rasp right next to your ear. he wasn't even looking at the screen. his gaze was fixed on the side of your neck. "because the margins are still off."
"the margins are standard." you gritted out, your fingers curling into fists in your lap to keep them from trembling. the forced proximity was destroying your composure. "he actually knows how to work with the team, jungwon. unlike some people, he doesn't just use everyone around him for a power trip."
the air in the room completely stalled. jungwon let out a slow, sharp breath that fanned across your cheek. he didn't pull away. instead, he leaned in a fraction closer, the polished golden boy facade finally cracking.
"you're trying so hard, y/n." he whispered, his voice dark and utterly devoid of his usual corporate charm. "ignoring me in the hallways. sending one word emails. letting jay buy you coffee just to see if i'll react."
"i'm not trying to do anything." you shot back, finally turning your head to glare at him. it was a mistake. his face was mere inches from yours, his dark eyes completely consumed by that familiar intensity. the memory of his hand over your mouth, his hips crushing yours against the counter, suddenly screamed in the silence between you. "i just don't care about you anymore."
"liar." the word was a soft, cruel accusation. his eyes dropped to your lips, tracking the way they parted on a shaky intake of breath. his hand shifted from the back of your stool, his long fingers lightly grazing the sensitive skin at the nape of your neck beneath your hair. "you care so much it's eating you alive.”
you wanted to shove him away. you wanted to slap him. but as his thumb brushed over your pulse point, feeling the hammering rhythm of your heart, a humiliating ache bloomed in your chest. the fight drained out of you, replaced by a suffocating yearning that you had spent an entire month trying to kill.
"then stop playing games." you whispered, your voice cracking, a raw confession slipping out before you could stop it. "stop looking at me like that if you're just going to go back upstairs and pretend i don't exist. or are you just doing all this to humiliate me and keep your ego intact?"
jungwon’s jaw locked. the muscle jumped violently beneath his skin, his eyes darkening into an absolute void as he stared down at you, the agonizing space between your lips separated by nothing but a few inches of cold basement air. the silence stretched for a long second, the harsh buzz of the lights above ringing in your ears like a warning.
"my ego." he repeated, the words tearing out of his throat in a harsh whisper. "you think my ego is intact."
his hand slid from the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling violently into the roots of your hair as he forced your head back. the movement was sharp, possessive, snapping the very last thread of your composure. he stepped right between your parted knees, the metal legs of your stool scraping loudly against the concrete as he dragged you inches closer to the edge of the table.
the solid warmth of his body pressed flush against your inner thighs, sending a blinding wave of heat straight to your center. you let out a choked gasp, your hands flying up to grip the lapels of his shirt, entirely unsure if you were trying to push him away or pull him closer.
"i haven't slept a full night in a month." he breathed against your mouth, his chest heaving against yours. the immaculate, calculating golden boy was completely gone, dissolving into someone desperate, unraveled, and entirely out of control. "i sit at my desk and watch you look right through me, and it takes every single ounce of my self control not to drag you under it and remind you exactly what you sounded like choking on my fingers."
your heart was hammering so violently it physically hurt. you stared up into his dark, ruined eyes, the resentment that had protected you for weeks crumbling into dust under the sheer weight of his confession.
"you want to know why i pretend, y/n? you want to know why i walk away?" jungwon continued, his voice dropping into a venomous growl, his thumb digging bruisingly into your jawline.
a hot tear of sheer, overwhelming frustration finally broke free, tracing down your cheek. "why?" you whispered pathetically, your walls completely dismantled.
"because if i let myself drop the act," he rasped, his gaze dropping to your mouth before flickering back up, pitch black and starving. "if i let myself actually think about how slick and ruined you were for me... how perfectly you clamped down on my cock while you begged me to hurry... i wouldn't just lock you in a copy room. i would bend you over every single desk on that floor and fuck that cold attitude right out of you until you couldn't drive home."
he didn't give you a chance to breathe, let alone answer. his mouth crashed down onto yours with a devastating force. it wasn't the teasing, mocking kiss from before. it was messy, filthy, and completely starved. his lips parted yours violently, his tongue driving deep into your mouth to swallow the broken sound that tore from your throat. he tasted like black coffee and unadulterated need.
the fight instantly drained out of your muscles. your hands, which had been clenched against his chest, completely surrendered, your fingers sliding up to fist into the crisp fabric at his shoulders. you kissed him back just as desperately, your body arching into his heat, chasing the exact friction that had been torturing your memory for weeks.
a low groan vibrated deep in his chest. he let go of your hair, wrapping both of his arms tightly around your waist and physically lifting you off the stool. the papers on the table scattered onto the concrete floor as he slammed your back down onto the cold metal surface, his heavy frame immediately settling right between your legs.
"open for me." he growled against your lips, his hand already sliding ruthlessly up your thigh, pushing your skirt out of the way. "let me see if you've been aching for it as badly as i have."
his hand didn't bother with being gentle. his long fingers dragged up your inner thigh, snagging on the lace of your underwear. he hooked two fingers under the damp fabric and shoved it aside with an almost violent tug. the cool basement air hit your exposed core for a fraction of a second before his blunt fingers pressed directly against your slick heat.
a shuddering breath tore from his lungs. he let his forehead drop against your shoulder, his chest heaving as he felt exactly how ready you were for him. "fuck." he rasped, his voice vibrating against your collarbone. he slid one thick finger deep inside you, the wet, obscene sound echoing loudly in the quiet room. "you're completely soaked. you were sitting at your desk acting like i didn't exist while you were dripping wet for me, mmh?"
"jungwon-" you whimpered, your hips jerking instinctively upward to chase his hand. the humiliation of being so easily exposed was entirely drowned out by the blinding relief of finally having him touch you again.
"we have twenty minutes until the briefing." he muttered, his dark eyes snapping back up to yours, feral and unyielding. "i'm going to ruin you so badly you won't be able to look at that projector screen without shaking." he didn't waste another second. his free hand dropped to his waist, the sharp clink of his belt buckle sounding like a starting gun. he tore his zipper down, freeing his erect cock before gripping your hips with bruising force. he dragged you to the very edge of the sorting table, your lower half completely suspended off the metal as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist to anchor yourself.
he didn't tease. he just lined himself up, gripped your thighs tightly, and sank into you with one deep, ruthless thrust that buried him to the absolute hilt. a loud, broken scream tore from your throat, but he swallowed it instantly, his mouth crashing back down onto yours. the stretch was agonizingly perfect. the contrast of the freezing metal table biting into your shoulder blades and the burning heat of him completely filling you made your mind entirely short circuit.
he broke the kiss just to catch his breath, his jaw clenched so tight the bone looked sharp enough to cut. "fuck, y/n." he groaned, his head falling back as his hips locked against yours for a second, absorbing the suffocating grip of your inner walls. "you're so tight."
and then he started to move. there was no methodical pacing, no calculated restraint. he fucked you with a frantic, punishing desperation, his hips pulling back only to slam into you with a heavy, wet slap that echoed obscenely off the metal shelves. the heavy sorting table actually rattled under his weight, every brutal thrust driving you backward, forcing your hands to claw helplessly at the ruined fabric of his shirt.
"jungwon, p-please. it's too fast." you choked out, your vision blurring with white hot tears as the friction immediately dialed up to an unbearable intensity. your core was already so sensitized from weeks of yearning that every time he bottomed out inside of you, a violent tremor shot straight through your stomach.
"it's not fast enough." he growled, his hand sliding up to grip your throat — not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to assert his absolute control, his thumb resting heavily over your racing pulse. he stared down at you, his immaculate hair falling messily over his forehead, his dark eyes tracking every single expression that crossed your ruined face. "let go for me. fall apart right here, before we have to go back upstairs and pretend."
you couldn't hold on even if you tried. the ticking clock, the danger of the basement door, and the overwhelming reality of him finally taking what you both wanted completely shattered your restraint. your nails dug into his forearms, a high, desperate whine leaving your lips as your internal walls began to violently contract.
"that's it." he rasped, his pace turning blind and relentless as he felt your climax begin to milk him. "take it. take all of it."
you completely broke, a ragged sob tearing from your chest as the climax rippled through you, your core clamping down on his rigid length in relentless waves. jungwon let out a deep, guttural groan, his control instantly snapping as he gave one final brutal shove before burying his face in your neck, spilling hotly deep inside you as his entire body locked up against yours.
the absolute silence of the basement returned with a deafening weight, broken only by the frantic synch of your breathing.
he stayed buried deep inside you for a heavy moment, his chest heaving against you, his pulse hammering a violent rhythm against your neck where his face was still buried. the heat radiating from his skin was staggering, a stark contrast to the freezing metal table biting into your spine. inside you, the last of his frantic twitches subsided, leaving behind a pulsing warmth that made your head spin with a sickening cocktail of euphoria and crashing panic.
ten minutes. your mind violently jolted back to the clock. we have ten minutes.
slowly, the rigid tension began to bleed out of jungwon’s frame. he let out a shuddering exhale against your skin, his forehead coming to rest heavily against your shoulder. when he finally pulled back, the physical separation felt brutal. he slid out of you with a wet friction that made your inner muscles helplessly twitch, a drop of moisture immediately coming down your inner thigh just like the first time.
the transition back to reality was instant, cold, and utterly terrifying again.
jungwon didn't say a word. he stepped back just half an inch, his long fingers lingering on your hip for a fraction of a second before he reached down to fix his clothes. you watched him through blurred vision as he pulled his sleeves back down, buttoning his cuffs with steady movements. his hair was messy, a few dark strands falling over his eyes, and a telltale flush covered his cheeks, but his expression was already shutting down. the feral man who had just pinned you to a metal table was being buried alive once again, brick by brick, right before your eyes.
"fix your skirt." he murmured, his voice incredibly low, still carrying a rough edge that he was clearly trying to smooth over. he didn't look at your face. he was looking at his watch. "we have less than ten minutes to get to the conference room."
the casual nonchalance of his tone made your stomach violently turn. you scrambled off the table, your legs shaking so violently that your heels nearly buckled the moment they hit the concrete floor. you immediately turned your back to him, your hands trembling as you tucked your blouse back into your waistband, smoothing down the wrinkled fabric of your skirt with silly, panicked movements. the sticky reality of what he had just left inside you was a burning weight between your thighs, but you obliged yourself to not think about it, desperately trying to swallow the thick lump of shame and yearning clogging your throat.
he's doing it again, you thought, your chest aching with a raw, suffocating turmoil. he just used me to vent a month of frustration, and now he's putting the mask back on.
when you forced yourself to turn around, the illusion was almost perfect. jungwon had donned his jacket, straightened his collar, and run a hand through his hair to guide it back into its immaculate style. once more, you could have convinced yourself it all had been a hallucination.
he picked up the scattered presentation slides from the floor, tapping the edge of the papers against the table to align them perfectly. "the data layout looks completely standard now." he said, his voice sliding effortlessly back into that tone he used for the board of directors. he extended the stack of papers toward you, his hand perfectly steady. "make sure you hand these to the department head as soon as we walk in."
you took the papers, your fingers brushing against his for a fraction of a second. you expected him to pull away, expected the ice — but his fingers tightened subtly over yours, pinning the pages between you for one agonizing heartbeat.
his eyes locked onto yours, pitch black and harboring a quiet promise that completely contradicted his polite posture. i'm not finished with you, his gaze whispered, loud and clear, before he smoothly let go.
"let's go." jungwon said, offering you a polite nod as he turned toward the heavy steel door. "we can't be late for the briefing."
he pushed the door open, stepping out into the hallway without a single backward glance. you stood alone in the dim archive room for one second longer, trying to steady your breath, before you stepped right out behind him — forced to walk into a crowded elevator and pretend your entire world hadn't just been ruined in the basement.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪
the briefing passed in a blinding blur. you sat three chairs down from him at the long mahogany table, your knees locked tightly together, trying to focus on the projector screen while the slow warmth of what he had left inside you cooled against your thighs. jungwon was flawless. he pointed at the data slides with his silver pen, spoke in that bright, capable way the executives loved, and didn't look at you a single time.
that afternoon was the first brick laid in a structure that would systematically hollow you out over the next four weeks. the basement hadn't been a momentary break in his mask. instead, it became the blueprint for a toxic, unspoken routine that established itself entirely through the company’s internal server. neither of you ever spoke a word about it out loud. there were no late night texts, no lingering looks, and absolutely no acknowledgment of the ruin you shared. jungwon kept the boundary line thick and visible, and you, out of a desperate, clawing need to save your own pride, matched his stride.
you learned to read the language of his casual invitations. it always started with a generic email notification flashing on your monitor. the subject lines were always pristine, completely invisible to anyone else — archival cross-reference, logistics ledger review, updated q3 formatting. but the timing was calculated with a terrifying precision. it was always 7:15 am, before the front desk receptionist clocked in, or 8:30 pm, when the main floor lights auto dimmed and the cleaning crew was still three levels above.
the locations shifted, but the suffocating friction remained the same. a vacant corporate lounge on the 14th floor, a narrow, windowless supply vault behind the server racks, the deep corner of a private office after the heavy blinds were twisted shut against the city.
and every single time, the pattern was a torturous loop. you would walk into the designated room with your jaw clenched, your heart hammering an angry rhythm against your ribs, determined to prove you were just as detached as he was. jungwon would be waiting, looking immaculate, his expression completely blank as he gave you some casual instruction. you would pretend you didn't care. he would pretend he didn't care.
then, the air would stall. the forced nonchalance would burn away into that unhinged intensity, and he would drag you against a desk or pin you against a wall. he was filthy in the dark, using a venomous rasp to whisper things that made your blood boil with a sickening mix of shame and desperate desire. he would take everything your body pathetically yearned for, running the clock down to the absolute last second.
and the exact heartbeat his release was over, the ice returned.
he would slide out of you, fix his trousers, and adjust his silk tie in the mirror without saying a single word. by the time you stepped back out into the hallway, he would already be five paces ahead of you, his hands slid carelessly into his pockets, ready to greet a manager with a charming nod.
that was the part that was slowly driving you insane — the terrifying precision of his dual reality, and the rotting hurt it left in your chest.
during the day, you had to sit at your desk and watch him play the department's golden boy. you watched him lean over the reception desk, giving the new girls that fake sweet look that made them stammer. you heard all the gossip about who he did or did not fuck. to the rest of the world, he was pristine. you were nothing special to him, just a hidden variable in his daily schedule, a convenient way to vent his corporate frustration because you were the only one who didn't look at him like that.
you wanted to scream at him. you wanted to slap the casual, empty smile right off his face in the morning briefings. you wanted to ask him if you were just a tool, if he even remembered your name when he wasn't burying his face in your neck. but the rules of the game you had both entered meant you couldn't say a single word. to voice the hurt would mean admitting that his effortless shifts between the office prince and the private monster were breaking you. it would mean admitting that while he was just having a casual, physical release, you were drowning in him. if you showed a single crack in your composure, he would win. he would see your ruin, give you that polite, standard nod, and walk away entirely. so you swallowed the pain until it tasted like battery acid, cementing your face into the same blank indifference he wore so well.
by the end of the month, your internal mess had stretched your nerves to a breaking point. the careless act was getting heavier, the unspoken friction between your cubicles turning into an icy wall that made the entire floor feel unsafe.
it was a thursday evening, the clock creeping just past 8:45 pm. the department was dead silent, the only sound the steady drumming of rain against the floor to ceiling glass windows.
your monitor flashed white in the darkened space:
From: Yang Jungwon
To: Y/N
Subject: Late Invoice Discrepancy
Please bring the physical Q3 budget folders to the archive room immediately for verification.
your fingers shook against the mouse. there was no discrepancy. he was just stressed from the executive board meeting he had endured that afternoon, and he wanted to use you to burn it off.
you slowly stood up, gathering the heavy folders against your chest like a shield. your knees felt weak, your blood running thick with that familiar adrenaline as you walked down the darkened hallway toward the archive room.
through the glass partition, you could see his silhouette. jungwon had his jacket off, his white shirt slightly loosened at the collar, his hands slid deep into his trouser pockets. he looked completely composed, a picture of solitary corporate elegance. you pushed the heavy door open, stepping into the room. the quiet click of the latch closing behind you sounded like a definitive thud in the silence.
jungwon didn't turn around. he let the quiet stretch between you, the casual indifference of his posture practically mocking the storm raging in your chest.
"close the door, y/n." he murmured smoothly, his side profile showing the faint, dangerous ghost of a smirk. "and lock it."
you didn't move. the plastic folders were cold against your chest, a brittle barrier between your hammering ribs and the quiet expanse of the room. your thumb hovered near the edge of the first tab, freezing. for a whole month, your hand would have already reached backward, blindly finding the lock, twisting it shut without a second thought because the pathetic craving inside you always won. but tonight, the ache in your throat felt heavier than any other ache.
"i said," jungwon murmured, his tone dropping just a fraction, the smooth corporate tone beginning to fray at the edges as he slowly turned his head to look at you. "lock the door."
he was waiting for you to fold. he was waiting for the familiar routine to click into place — the cold glances, the sudden slam against the wall, the filthy whispers that would temporarily numb the hollow feeling in your chest. he looked so infuriatingly untouched, standing there with his sleeves rolled up, entirely confident that you would slide right into your designated role in his schedule.
"no." you said. the word was small, barely a whisper against the relentless drumming of the rain outside, but it felt like a gunshot in the dead silence of the room.
jungwon’s brows twitched, his head turning fully toward you now. his hands stayed in his pockets, his posture still maintaining that unbothered stance, but his dark eyes sharpened, tracking the slight tremor in your shoulders. "what?"
"i'm not locking it." you said, your voice growing steadier, though the raw edge of it was impossible to hide now. you walked forward, but you didn't stop close to him. you slammed the folders down on the edge of the table, the loud smack echoing off the metal shelves. "the metrics are on page twelve. if there's a discrepancy, find it yourself. i'm leaving."
you turned on your heel, your chest burning, ready to walk out before the humiliation of your own tears could fully expose you. but jungwon was faster. the casual nonchalance vanished in a heartbeat. his hand shot out of his pocket, his fingers wrapping around your wrist with a bruising grip that violently pulled you back into his space. the expensive scent of his cologne crowded your senses instantly, a suffocating reminder of every single desk, wall, and floor he had claimed you on over the last four weeks.
"what is this?" he growled, his voice dropping into that venomous rasp, his face mere inches from yours. his pupils were blown, the feral, starving frustration finally breaking through his mask. "you don't get to just walk out, y/n. you received the email. you came down here. don't start playing games now."
"i'm not playing games, jungwon!" you choked out, the resentment finally fracturing your voice as you tried to violently wrenched your wrist from his grip. he didn't budge. his fingers only tightened, pinning you against his chest until you could feel the furious thudding of his own heart. "i'm done. i can't do this anymore."
"can't do what?" he muttered, his gaze dropping to your mouth, his breathing turning shallow and ragged as he leaned in closer. his hips subtly pressed forward, trying to force your body into the familiar, addictive submission it always succumbed to. "you want this just as badly as i do. you're shaking right now. let me lock the door and-"
"no!" a hot tear finally spilled over your eyelashes, tracing a humiliating path down your cheek, and the sight of it made jungwon instantly freeze. your chest heaved, the walls you had spent a month building completely crumbling into dust right in front of him. "i can't keep pretending. i can't watch you smile at the interns in the morning, listen to them talk about who you went home with on friday, and then come down here in the dark just so you can use me to burn off your stress."
jungwon’s jaw locked, the muscle pulsing violently under his skin. his grip on your wrist didn't slacken, but he stopped pushing into you, his dark eyes staring down at your face with a jarring intensity that looked almost like panic.
"it's ruining me." you whispered, your voice cracking completely, the raw truth tasting like ash on your tongue. "you get to slide right back into your perfect little suit and walk away like nothing happened, and i'm left sitting at my desk feeling entirely hollowed out. if it's just a casual release for you, fine. find someone else. because it's breaking me, and i'm not going to let you do it anymore."
the silence that followed was suffocating, heavy with the weight of the rules you had just permanently shattered. jungwon didn't move. he didn't give you a polite nod, and he didn't let go of your wrist. he just stared at you, his chest heaving. for a fraction of a second, he looked genuinely caught off guard, but then, the tension in his jaw completely vanished. the momentary panic in his dark eyes melted away, replaced by a calculating amusement that made your stomach violently drop.
jungwon let out a low, breathless chuckle. he didn't pull you in aggressively. instead, his grip on your wrist softened, his thumb slowly stroking over the hammering rhythm of your pulse.
"ruining you." he repeated, the words rolling off his tongue with a terrifyingly casual drawl. his gaze dropped from your tear stained eyes down to your chest, watching the way you were desperately trying to catch your breath. "you're acting like i'm dragging you down here against your will, y/n. but we both know that's a lie."
"jungwon-" you tried to step back, but his hand slid smoothly from your wrist to your hip, his long fingers completely encompassing the curve of your waist, holding you in place with effortless dominance.
"you hate that i smile at the interns? you hate that i don't look at you in the boardroom?" he murmured, leaning in until his lips were hovering just an inch from your ear. his suffocating scent wrapped around you like a vice. "that's just your pride talking, because your body tells a completely different story. you say this is breaking you, but you're shaking so hard you can barely stand. i haven't even touched you properly yet, and you're already completely soaked for me, aren't you?"
a hot, humiliating flush spread across your neck. you wanted to deny it, wanted to push him and scream that he was wrong, but your core was already pulsing with that familiar heat, reacting to the sheer proximity of his body just like a trained animal.
"i'm just giving you exactly what you need." he whispered nonchalantly, his free hand reaching up to casually brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "because we both know you sit at that desk all day, completely distracted, crossing your legs trying to chase the friction. you need me to pull you into these dark rooms. you need me to use you like this, because nobody else is ever going to fuck you the way i do."
he took a deliberate step back, creating a cold space between you. he slid his hands back into his trouser pockets, his expression returning to that flawless, untouchable corporate mask. "so go." jungwon said smoothly, gesturing toward the heavy metal door with a slight tilt of his head. "walk out, go home. but when you're lying in bed tonight, completely unsatisfied, touching yourself to the memory of what i did to you on this exact desk last tuesday... don't send me an email tomorrow begging me to fix it. because if you walk out that door right now, i'm never touching you again."
the silence in the archive room became deafening. you stared at him, fresh tears stinging your eyes, your mind screaming at you to run. he was so utterly callous. he was stripping away every last ounce of your dignity, reducing all your emotional bleeding into a basic, pathetic physical craving. he was gaslighting you, offering you an out that he fully knew you were entirely too weak to take.
because he was right. the thought of going home, of the cold sheets, of never feeling his heavy frame press you into a desk or hearing that venomous rasp against your neck ever again, felt physically agonizing. the addiction was already too deep in your veins. you couldn't survive the withdrawal.
a pathetic sound caught in your throat. the fight completely drained out of your muscles, the resentment suffocated by that blinding, toxic yearning.
you didn't say a word. you just turned around, your legs feeling extremely weak, and walked toward the door. you didn't open the handle. instead, your trembling fingers reached out, blindly finding the deadbolt, and twisted it until the familiar click echoed through the quiet room.
behind you, jungwon let out a dark, satisfied sigh.
"good girl." he murmured, the sharp metallic sound of his belt buckle clicking open signaling the absolute end of your resistance. "now get over here and hike that skirt up."
keywords: (M) means mature/explicit work; (💌) means personal favorite
total fics: 21
last updated: 29/06/26
note: credits to all the authors listed below
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[JAY & JAKE] rust & gold 💌 by cherry-lala | series (4 parts) | 83.7k words | (M) enemies to lovers, polyamory relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, dark/heavy themes, abduction, extreme classism, dehumanization, pregnancy, forced proximity, power imbalance, confinement, emotional manipulation, physical violence, possessive behavior, dom/sub dynamics, dystopian!au, sci-fi, married!jayke, dom top!jay, sub bottom!jake, sub!reader
[JAKE] implausible deniability by jayflrt | 12.6k words | (M) academic rivals to lovers, crack, fluff, sexual tension, lots of banter, 02z bickering, college!au, brother!heeseung, brother's best friend!jake
[SUNGHOON] teeth 💌 by romancentold | series (15 parts) | on going | (M) enemies to lovers, childhood friends, enemies with benefits, heavy angst, slow burn, love triangle ft. jake, slice of life, found family, college!au, bit of socmed!au, chaebol!sunghoon, chaebol!reader, dom!sunghoon, sunghoon is a mean asshole
[SUNGHOON] king of tears 💌 by enhaflixer | 20k words | (M) angst, fluff, slow burn, second chance romance, marriage in crisis, high society pressure, pregnancy, mention of miscarriage, queen of tears!au, chaebol husband!sunghoon
[JAKE] strikes out 💌 by enhaflixer | 23.5k words | (M) exes to lovers, secret child trope, second chance romance, co-parenting struggles, parental guilt, father-daughter bonding, found family, unresolved feelings, tension, football athlete!jake
[JAY & JUNGWON] not enough? by cherryw0n | not stated | (M) angst, infidelity, morally grey characters, unethical behavior, break up, emotional distress, confrontation, possessiveness, boyfriend!jungwon, best friend!jay, mean dom!jungwon, cocky dom!jay, sub!reader, threesome, some jaywon, fighting for dominance (jaywon)
[JAY] me and my husband by bywons | 19.5k words | angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, she fell first but he fell harder, slowburn-ish, arranged marriage!au, cold fiance!jay
[JAY] practice makes perfect 💌 by jongst4r | 34.6k words | (M) strangers to lovers, fluff, love triangle ft. jake, slow burn, virginity loss, sexual inexperience, mutual pining, heavy flirting, sexual tension, playful teasing, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, sex tutor!jay, experienced!jay, college!au, reader has a crush on jake
[SUNGHOON] love me, hate me by jaeminsz | 30.8k words | (M) enemies to fwb to lovers, childhood friends, angst, fluff, sexual tension, bickering, drunk sex, college!au, frat!au, sunghoon is an asshole
[JAY] guys my age by heedimples | 13k words | (M) fluff, jealousy, possessiveness, age gap (23 and mid 30s), dom!jay, sub!reader
[JUNGWON] all the right parts by arelyvn | 6k words | (M) dom!jungwon, mechanic!jungwon, spoiled brat!reader
[JAY] stuck with me by yeonzzzn | 26.2k words | (M) enemies to lovers, blood, use of weapons, mention of drugs, mention of death, zombie apocalypse!au, smugglers!enha hyung line
[SUNGHOON] teacher’s pet by prkhaven | 17.8k words | (M) misunderstanding, jealousy, mean dom!sunghoon, professor!sunghoon, student!reader
[SUNGHOON] sweet inhibitions by scorpieuns | 6.4k words | (M) drunken mistake, office romance, boss!sunghoon, corporate worker!reader, kinda brat tamer!sunghoon
[SUNGHOON] i have a girlfriend part 1 – part 2 by siyalogue | 39.6k words | enemies to allies to ?, rich girl x popular boy, grumpy x grumpy, university settings, fake dating!au, sunghoon is a bit of an asshole
[JAY] milf hunt! by simpjaes | 18.9k words | (M) age gap (22 and 29), single mother!reader, college pool boy!jay, babysitter!jay, jay is somewhat a manipulator, reader has moral but jay doesn’t
[SUNGHOON] AITA? by jaysbaefie | 13k words | (M) academic rivals to ?, sexual tension, so many arguments, some eye fucking from sunghoon’s behalf, lowkey bratty!reader, dom!sunghoon
[JUNGWON] best fuck of your life by lac4ygal | 27.4k words | (M) fwb to lovers, fluff, mild angst, drunken bet, use of weed, mutual jealousy, emotional avoidance, brief emotional breakdown, using someone as a rebound, kissing someone while emotionally involved with another, sneaking around, possessive language, happy ending
[JAY] all that glitters part 1 – part 2 – part 3 💌 by stllmnstr | 59.7k words | academic rivals to lovers, angst, slow burn, depictions of terminal illness, kissing, university!au, rich!jay, sick!reader, “you have three months to live” au, jay is a sweetheart, happy ending
literally me every time i finished reading an angsty fic knowing damn well i searched through countless unwanted smut and refresh the tag just to find the most well written and gutwrenching one:
your estranged grandmother left you exactly one thing in her will: a sprawling luxury apartment in the heart of seoul — the kind of place that could singlehandedly cover your entire college tuition if you ever decided to sell it. now you had a penthouse all to yourself, a pink-tiled kitchen you weirdly adored, and a hopeless, slow-burning crush on the absurdly attractive neighbor who barely looked your way.
✧ WARNINGS AND TAGS
soulmates!au ◦ vampire!au ◦ mentions of sex ◦ dark themes such as depression, melancholy, killing ◦ landlord!sunghoon x fem!reader ◦ vampire!sunghoon x collegestudent!reader ◦ vampire!enhypen ◦ gore, mentions of violence and blood ◦ graphic description of violence ◦ in this au, humans and vampires coexist and vampires are almost extinguished ◦ heavy angst ◦ family drama ◦ mommy issues ◦ reader's dad has cancer ◦ eventual smut ◦ description of blood ◦ HAPPY ENDING ◦ too much angst ◦ pls be mindful of what you're consuming for your mental health.
+2OO,OOO main masterlist STATUS ━━━━━ FINISHED
۶ৎ 𝓜 , live laugh love vamp!hoon >< reposting my favorite piece of creation i've ever done because this was life changing for 20-year-old mari and i owe it all to my enhablr lovely readers. this will eventually have smut, so mdni. layout credits to kiwiatoll, banner credits to hoonstrology and divider credits to uzmacchiato. i love you guys sm thank u for being awesome and talented <3 i lost my old blog and all the tsj posts under it, that's why i'm reposting this. for now, the links will only redirect to ao3 bc your girl doesn't have time yet to repost each chapter here on tumblr but dw because i'll eventually post everything here okie.
read on ao3 spotify playlist main masterlist
THE SEONGHYEON JAEGA ━━━━━ MASTERLIST
PROLOGUE ONE ━━━━━ pink tiles
꒰ 5.8k ꒱you didn’t expect the winter garden, or the hydrangeas blooming out of season. and you definitely didn’t expect sunghoon — quiet, unreadable, and watching you like he already knew how this would end.
PROLOGUE TWO ━━━━━ the seonghyeon jaega
꒰ 10.9k ꒱between printer boys, rooftop gardens, and the neighbor who looks at you like he’s trying not to set the world on fire, this is what happens when loneliness meets curiosity and accidentally kicks off something bigger than you’re ready for.
CHAPTER ONE ━━━━━ hydrangeas & homicide
꒰ 11.2k ꒱ park sunghoon has survived centuries by staying detached — until a new neighbor moves in and quietly unravels everything. caught between instinct and control, he senses a bond he thought was myth, as something human begins to feel dangerously inevitable.
CHAPTER TWO ━━━━━ six-hundred-and-thirty-three
꒰ 16k ꒱ your body thrums with a strange, residual ache — not pain, but presence. like something has settled beneath your skin, quiet and irreversible. you don't have the words for it yet, but whatever passed between you and sunghoon in that moment wasn’t just physical. it’s something older, deeper, and it’s already taken root.
CHAPTER THREE ━━━━━ eletromagnetic emo ghost
꒰ 21.6k ꒱ all day, he feels you — in the air, under his skin, in every pulse that isn't his own. he watches you stumble through the day, dazed and aching, and hates that he caused it. but more than that, he hates how badly he wants more.
CHAPTER FOUR ━━━━━ resist the urge to bite (or kiss)
꒰ 35.2k ꒱ you want answers, but you also don’t want to ask. when you finally see him again, your body reacts before your mind can. and when he speaks — low, careful, restrained — it only confirms what you’ve been afraid to admit.
CHAPTER FIVE ━━━━━ hanil women university
꒰ 18.2k ꒱ the tension between you builds — sharp, close, and unbearably restrained. and when you finally ask if he regrets it, sunghoon doesn’t answer with words. he just looks at you — and it’s enough to know the truth.
CHAPTER SIX ━━━━━ necklines & near-death experiences
꒰ 24.3k ꒱sunghoon is shaken. and now that the bond is forming between you two, it’s not just instinct — it’s blood memory. he’s caught in something ancient and irreversible. and for the first time, you’re not the one in danger — he is.
CHAPTER SEVEN ━━━━━ orange blood
you never knew. and now everything — your instincts, your reactions, the way your body answers sunghoon before you can think — starts to make sense. it’s not legacy. it’s inheritance by accident. buried. hidden. and now, waking up.
EPILOGUE ━━━━━ bad desire (unleash)
it’s not soft. it’s inevitable. after nights of denial and tension so thick it ached, this moment snaps like a pulled thread. it’s teeth, breath, hands, and truth.
𓊆박성훈 x fem reader𓊇 my head is spinning and my stomach is sick. say i'm in love, so it's hard to admit. i can't eat, i can't sleep. i think you're what's wrong with me. i think you're what's wrong with me.
⤫ 5730 ⤫ ― heavy infidelity, cheating, emotional manipulation, toxic dynamic, heavy angst, sunghoon smokes, pussy eating, kissing, missionary, creampie, asshole characters, two-timing, non proofread
⊹ 𐙚⋆˙˚ new layout . . . who is this? ++ also towards the ending is the second ending of what happened after the smut haha . . . and featuring hwang intak my baby <3
“are you for real..?” jay asked, voice low as he scrolled through the guest list on his phone. the groomsmen were in the waiting room, fixing cufflinks and hair.
heeseung glanced back at jay through the reflection, swiping his hair back through his fingers. “what?”
“you invited yn?” jay’s tone was disbelieving, he kept glazing between his phone and heeseung.
the older one turned around, shrugging. “well, yeah. she helped him a lot during his uni days—it’s just a polite gesture.”
jay stared at him, eyebrows pinched slightly. “a gesture? hee… she’s not just some friend. you know what they were.”
heeseung sighed, adjusting his tie. “they’re long over it, though. sunghoon’s moved on—he’s literally getting married later. inviting her shows there’s no bad blood. it’s just mature.”
jay hesitated for a long second.
“...man, i don’t know….” he muttered, shaking his head. his thumb scrolled through the other names on the list.
“dude, it’s okay,” heeesung said firmly, patting jay’s shoulder. “let it go.”
——
“shit—i’m nervous as hell.” sunghoon muttered, running a hand through his carefully styled hair. “this… fuck, this is really happening.”
the waiting room felt too small. the groom paced back and forth near the window, tugging at his collar even though it was perfectly fitted. the ceremony was starting in fourty minutes—his heart wouldn’t stop racing.
jake watched him from the couch, eyebrow raised. “you good?”
“yeah—just—just nervous,” he sighed, putting his hands on his hips.
jake stood up and walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. “hey, it’s okay—big day and all. you’ve been through a lot, but you’re here now! you’re doing it, man!”
sunghoon let out a shaky breath, staring at the floor.
jake studied him for a second, then lowered his voice. his eyebrows furrowed in concern, jake was the best man, after all. “alright, look… do you need a hit? cig or something? just to take the edge off real quick.”
damn it—sunghoon was supposed to stop. but it’s so fucking hard.
he didn’t even hesitate. “fuck, sure.”
they slipped out a side door that led to a quiet courtyard behind the venue. the evening air was cool, and the distant sound of guests and crews chatting inside felt muffled. jake handed him a cigarette and lighter, then clapped his shoulder.
“don’t take too long, yeah? i’ll cover for you.”
jake disappeared back inside.
he closed the glass doors.
sunghoon sighed before lighting the cigarette with unsteady fingers, taking a long drag. the smoke burned his lungs, but it didn’t calm the storm in his chest. he closed his eyes, leaning against the stone wall.
damn.
he’s really getting married today.
in less than an hour, he would stand in front of everyone and make things official—vows, rings, signatures, the whole forever shit. a few minutes that would last the rest of his life.
the thought made his stomach twist. every inhale of smoke felt heavier, like it was stuffing and pressing down on the weight already crushing him.
sunghoon took another drag, longer this time, holding it longer than usual. the tip of the cigarette glowed bright orange in the dim courtyard light as he exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl up and disappear into the night air.
this was supposed to be the happiest day of his life.
so why did it feel like he was standing at the edge of something… irreversible?
there’s no way he was getting cold feet on his wedding day. no, no—this was a normal feeling, wasn’t it? people get nervous all the time. sooha and him had planned this for months—almost a year.
it’s fine.
he ran a hand through his hair, messing up the styled strands. his mind wouldn’t stop spinning.
would things be different if it was with—
“sunghoon?”
he opened his eyes.
you were standing there, frozen a few meters away, holding a small gift bag. the silk, rose champagne dress hugged you nicely, in all the way he remembered. you froze the second your eyes met.
sunghoon’s heart dropped to his tummy.
“...yn?”
your lips parted in surprise. “what are you doing here?” your voice came out quiet, almost hesitant. the wind almost took it away from him.
he let out a weak, breathless laugh, smoke slipping past his lips. “i needed some air. couldn’t stay in there anymore.”
the silence that followed was heavy and awkward. you shifted on your pretty heels, glancing back toward the venue door like you wanted to escape. sunghoon couldn’t stop staring at you.
you’ve gotten prettier since the last time he saw you—almost 5 years ago. you looked beautiful, still the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid eyes on. and your eyes—behind those glittery eyelids, your eyes were glassier.
he hated how familiar this felt.
right, you thought.
“...i should go back insid—” you started softly.
“wait.”
sunghoon stepped forward without thinking and gently grabbed your wrist. the moment his fingers touched your skin, something electric shot through both of you. he pulled you aside quickly without thinking twice, around the corner behind a tall flowering hedge where the lights didn’t quite reach.
just like all those secret nights before.
his eyes wouldn’t leave your face.
“why did you—? sunghoon,” your eyebrows pinched slightly, but you didn’t pull away your hand. “you’re smoking again.”
a low, bitter chuckle slipped out of him, smoke curling between the two of you. he looked down at the glowing cigarette between his fingers, then back at you with heavy, longing eyes.
“it’s hard,” he admitted quietly. “if i don’t smoke… i think about you instead. and that’s a much worse habit.”
the words hung in the cool night. your breath caught, and for a second, neither of you spoke. sunghoon took another slow drag, but his gaze never left yours.
it’s a lie, really. it didn’t matter if sunghoon smoked or not—because you were always on his mind. nonetheless.
you averted your gaze, bringing your arms up to hug yourself. the champagne dress suddenly felt too thin under his stare.
“what are you talking about…” you whispered, voice shaky. “don’t be ridiculous, sunghoon. you’re getting married… you’re—you’re getting married.”
the cigarette burned between his fingers as he flicked the ash away, stepping just a little closer—not enough to touch, but enough that you could feel the warmth from his body.
“yeah, i am.” he said lowly, his fingers itching to cup your face. “doesn’t stop me from standing here wishing i wasn’t, though.”
your eyes flicked back up to his. there it was—that quiet pull. that look in your eyes was the same one you had five years ago when you were tucked underneath him, begging him to please give you a second chance.
you shouldn’t have come—but it still wouldn’t stop sunghoon from wishing he was married to somebody else today.
“sunghoon—just,” your voice cracked. you took a shaky breath, hugging yourself tighter. “just stop it. i’m here today because heeseung invited me, okay? i wasn’t even going to come at first—but i… i just wanted to see you off. properly. that’s all.”
sunghoon frowned, his expression darkened. the cigarette was long forgotten on the ground. he stepped even closer until the space between you felt almost nonexistent.
“really?” he breathed, voice low and edging with something painful. “really, yn? you’ll just watch and let me get married to another woman that’s not you?”
the words hit hard. your lips parted, but nothing came out. before you could find your voice and the words to say, sunghoon’s hand moved—cuppung your face with a gentleness that didn’t match the look in his eyes. his thumb brushed your cheek once, then he backed you up until your shoulders met the cool stone wall behind.
your breath hitched. his other hand pressed flat against the wall beside your head, caging you in. he was so close you could smell the cigarette smoke, mixed with his cologne and his nervous sweat under his expensive tux.
“is that it, yn?” he whispered, forehead nearly resting against yours. his eyes dropped to your lips, fingers brushing your skin. “tell me right now that you’re fine watching me marry her—that we didn’t spend years loving and giving each other our firsts—and i’ll go.”
but you didn’t say anything. your hands trembled at your sides, fingers brushing against the front of his tux like you wanted to push him away, but couldn’t do it.
sunghoon leaned in slowly. so slowly. his nose brushed yours. his lips hovered just a breath away from your own, close enough that you could almost taste him. close enough that one tiny movement would close the gap and ruin everything.
your eyes fluttered shut. his grip on your face tightened just a fraction.
“hm, yn? tell me you don’t love me anymore.”
the silence stretched for two heartbeats.
then your fingers curled into his tie. you gripped the silk tightly, and slowly pulled him down. your voice came out shaky, barely above a whisper, but shattered what was left of his control.
“... what are you going to do if i still do?”
that was all it took.
sunghoon crashed his lips into yours with a wrecked sound, kissing like a man who was drowning and you were the only air left in his lungs. there was nothing gentle about it—it wasn’t a gentle, romantic, reunion kiss, it was years of guilt, longing, and frustration poured out as he tilted your head back against the stone wall and deepened the kiss instantly.
his tongue slid against yours, hungry and familiar, while one hand slid down to grip your waist, pulling your body flush against his.
you kissed him back just as desperately, tugging harder on his tie like you could keep him here. a soft, broken whimper escaped your throat and he swallowed it whole, pressing you harder into the wall.
the taste of smoke and mint on his tongue was making your head spin. his body was burning against yours, the crisp tux doing nothing to hide how badly he wanted you.
after a few heated seconds, sunghoon suddenly pulled back just enough to speak, breathing ragged against your lips.
“not here,”
before you could respond, he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. he moved fast, leading you through a different back door further down the courtyard. it was a room used for wedding preparations—folded chairs stacked against the wall, extra table linens, vases, and a wooden table in the centre.
the door clicked shut.
the second it closed, sunghoon was on you again.
he pushed you up against the nearest wall, kissing even harder than before now that you both had your privacy. both of his hands were on your waist now, sliding down to grip your hips as he pressed his body into yours.
you moaned softly into his mouth, hands flying up to his hair, ruining his wedding hair. he groaned at the feeling, the sound vibrating down your body.
“fuck, i missed you,” he muttered between kisses, barely pulling away long enough to speak. he wanted to make it up for all the time he couldn’t kiss you. “missed you s’much.”
with a low groan in his throat, sunghoon grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you effortlessly. you gasped and instantly wrapped your arms around his neck. he set you down on the edge of the wooden table, stepping between your legs and pulling you right to the edge so your bodies were flush again.
the champagne dress rode up your thighs as he pressed closer, hands roaming up your sides, mouth never leaving yours.
sunghoon pulled back from the kiss just enough to look at you—lips swollen, eyes glossy, chest heaving. the sight of you like this snapped the last thread of whatever nonexistent control he had left.
without a word, he pushed you down.
his hand pressed firmly against your chest, guiding you until your back met the white tablecloth. you gasped softly as you laid flat, the movement made your dress ride up higher on your thighs, and sunghoon didn’t waste a second.
he stayed standing between your legs, eyes dark and hungry as they raked over you. his hands slid up your thighs, pushing the dress higher until it bunched around your waist.
“fuck… look at that,” he breathed, fingers hooked into the waistband of your white lace panties—much like his future wife’s dress—then slowly dragged them down your legs. sunghoon shoved it in his pocket.
you were completely exposed to him now, laid out on the table like a feast.
you’re so wet, it’s glistening. you’re so wet for him.
sunghoon’s hands gripped your thighs, spreading them wider. your pussy twitched at the cool air hitting your soaked folds, and the sight made a guttural sound rumble in his chest.
“shit, yn…” he whispered, dripping with lust. “look how wet you are. and you’re telling me to stop?”
he didn’t wait for an answer.
the groom leaned in and dragged his tongue slowly up your slit, collecting and scooping every drop of your arousal with a hungry groan. the moment his warm tongue touched your clit, your back arched off the table. he wrapped his lips around the sensitive bud and sucked, flicking it with the tip of his tongue at the same time.
“sunghoon!”
one of your hands flew to his hair, gripping the dark strands tightly as he devoured you. he was relentless—licking, sucking, burying his face deeper between your thighs like he wanted to drown in your taste. the wet obscene sounds of his mouth against your pussy filled the small storage room, mixing with your broken moans.
sunghoon pulled back for just a second, lips shiny with your slick, and spat directly at your opening before diving back in messier. his tongue pushed inside you, fucking you with it—thrusting his muscle back and forth like a dick as his nose rubbed against your clit like a dog.
he looked up at you through his lashes, lips glistening.
“you taste so fucking good,” he rasped, the vibration making you whimper. “missed eating you out like this all the time.”
your legs started shaking around his head. sunghoon tightened his grip, forcing your thighs open wider as he ate you like a man who was unsure when else he’d have this.
he flattened his tongue and licked along, slow stripes up your entire cunt before focusing back on your clit, sucking and flicking until your hips were grinding against his face. your back arched on the table.
“s—sunghoon—! hoonie—fuck!”
your thighs clamped around his head but he forced them open again, groaning into your pussy as he felt you trembling. he inserted his two fingers and began thrusting them back and forth—curling his digits while sucking on your clit till your whole body seized up.
you came hard on his tongue with a broken cry, hips jerking against his face as pleasure crashed through you. sunghoon didn’t stop—he kept licking and fingering you through it, drawing out every last shake and whimper until you were gasping, tears slipping from the corners of your eyes.
he stood up straight between your legs, quickly unbuckling his belt and unzipping his tux pants. his cock sprang out, hard and leaking as he stoked himself, eyes locked on you.
when was the last time he’s gotten this hard?
sunghoon swallowed the lump in his throat, positioning his cock right between your folds where he slid the head between them back and forth. but before he pushed in, he leaned in slightly, sucking the inside of his cheek.
“...why didn’t you reply to me?” he whispered, chest heaving. “five years. i texted you, emailed you—reached out so many fucking times… and you just disappeared. if you still love me, why didn’t you tell me?”
you were breathing heavily from your orgasm, dress bunched around your waist, legs wrapped loosely around him. you looked up at sunghoon with glassy eyes.
“because we can’t be together, hoonie,” you breathed, voice cracking. “we… this… it was doomed from the beginning. we both knew that.”
his jaw clenched.
“i don’t wanna hear that shit right now,” he hissed, then pushed inside you in one deep thrust.
you both moaned aloud as he buried himself to the hilt, your walls still pulsing from your orgasm. he didn’t give you time to adjust—started fucking you hard, the wooden table creaking under every brutal snap of his hips.
sunghoon was getting married today, but he was still stuck up on the girl who made him felt like the world was his five years ago.
the groom leaned to kiss his ex-lover messily as he pounded into you, one hand gripping your thigh, the other tangled in your hair. the sound of skin slapping skin filled the storage room.
“ah—ngh—!” you moaned, all high pitch and lewd as he fucked you hard and deep. your arms extended to loosely wrap around his neck, kissing him back just as needy.
sunghoon pulled back to rest his forehead against yours. “it’s because of him, isn’t it?”
you whimpered when the tip of his cock kissed your cervix. sunghoon snapped his hips harder.
“intak. it’s because of that fuckass intak—because you were guilty you were cheating on intak the whole time you were with me?”
your eyes widened, a broken whimper escaped your lips when he kept hitting that soft, good spot inside you that made your toes curl. “w—wait, wait—hah!”
sunghoon didn’t stop. he fucked you with punishing, jealous, deep thrusts as he spoke through his gritted teeth.
“i knew, baby. i always fucking knew. i didn’t care—i told you i didn’t care. i wanted you so bad i was willing to share you if that’s what it took… i kept hoping you’d finally choose me and leave him—but you never did.”
he thrust particularly hard, making the table legs scrape against the floor. it was hard to reply. it was hard to form words—not when each time sunghoon railed you deep, the words in your brain scattered like dominos and your mouth could only form moans and his name.
“you loved us both, didn’t you?” his voice cracked with bitterness and lust. sunghoon loved you more—he knew that. he knew he loved you more than intak could ever. even after five years, he doubted intak ever knew he was being double two–timed.
“you left me cause you were guilty you couldn’t pick. instead of saying anything… you just disappeared. i could’ve—i would’ve—”
a particularly rough snap of his hips made you cry out, your nails digging into his broad, toned shoulders through his shirt. tears were slipping down your temples now, from pleasure, pain, years of guilt, and the fact that he just called you out like that.
sunghoon’s rhythm faltered for a second as he watched a tear fall. he leaned in and licked it off your skin before kissing you messily. “—i would’ve waited.”
he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in, making you cry out his name.
“but tell me how the fuck we’re supposed to be done when your pussy is still squeezing me like this.”
sunghoon kept fucking you deep, hips rolling into yours with long, possessive strokes. the anger in his voice was still there, but it was melting into something heavier.
“i’m sorry…” you choked out between moans, clinging to him. “hoonie, i’m so sorry—i didn’t know what to do then. i hurt you… and i couldn’t face it anymore. i’m so fucking sorry—”
“shh,” he cut you off.
he slowed his thrusts, turning them into deep, sensual, intimate rolls that made you feel every inch, every texture of him. he leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours, eyes locked on you as he moved inside.
“it doesn’t matter anymore,” he murmured against your lips. “i’ve missed you so much. you make up for everything that happened.”
sunghoon kissed you slowly, deeply, swallowing your whimpers as he rocked into you. one of his hands slid under your back to pull you closer so your chests were pressed together. the other cradled the side of your face, thumb brushing your tears.
his lips moved from your mouth to your jaw, then down your neck where he sucked gentle marks into your skin like a proof he was here with you. he was here with you while waiting to be called up to the church.
“i still love you,” the groom murmured against your throat, burying himself to the hilt, just feeling you pulse around him. “i never stopped.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck as you held him close.
“you were supposed to be my wife—you’re supposed to be wearing that wedding dress today.”
the words hit you like a knife. before you could even respond, he straightened up, pulling out of you almost completely before slamming back in with a brutal thrust.
a sharp cry tore from your throat.
he grabbed both your legs, folding them up and pressing them toward your chest. with one arm, he hooked them over his left shoulder, nearly bending you in half on the table. the new angle made him sink so much deeper that your eyes rolled back.
then sunghoon started fucking you hard again.
the sound of skin slapping skin echoed loudly in the small storage room as he railed into you, eyes locked on your face the entire time.
“shit—” he groaned, sweat dripping down his temple, hair completely ruined. “you’re supposed to be my wife.”
every thrust was possessive and heartbroken. your mouth fell open in a silent scream of pleasure, hands scrambled—one gripping his arm, the other clawing at the white tablecloth.
sunghoon reached into the inner pocket of his tux jacket with his free hand, pulling out a small velvet box—the ring he was supposed to give jake, the best man, to hold during the ceremony.
he didn’t even hesitate.
while still fucking you mercilessly, he opened the box with his teeth, took out the beautiful diamond ring meant for his bride, sooha, and grabbed your left hand.
“hoonie—!” you gasped, eyes wide. you weren’t sure what to feel about it.
he slid the ring onto your finger, watched as it sat perfectly on your ring finger like it should have been.
“you’re mine,” he growled, pounding into you even harder, the ring glinting under the dim light with every thrust. you squeezed around his cock harder, the guilt turning into pleasure real quick. “—i’m yours too, baby. i’ve never stopped being.”
“this is your ring, this should’ve been your ring.”
your walls clenched hard around him at his words, a broken sob–moan ripping out of you as another orgasm started building dangerously fast. the sight of his fiance’s ring on your finger while he fucking you on his wedding day was so wrong it made your head spin.
but you also couldn’t deny the pleasure you were getting out of it.
“i can’t—i can’t hold it, shit,” you groaned, gasping. sunghoon’s rhythm turned messy and desperate, losing all control. “oh my gosh, hoonie, ‘m cumming—!”
you moaned out loud, shaking as another orgasm crashed into you—your pussy clenched around him, pulsing and gushing as you came with a cry of his name.
sunghoon too, burying himself to the hilt with a wrecked moan, forehead pressed against your legs as he came hard. thick, hot spurts of his cum flooded deep inside you, filling you up as his hips jerked through every wave. he kept grinding into you slowly, pushing his release deeper. he needed you to keep every drop.
“take it… fuck, that all of me,” he panted, trembling slightly.
for a long moment, the only sounds in the room were both of you breathing heavily. sunghoon slowly lowered your legs, but he stayed buried inside, not wanting to pull out yet. he leaned down and kissed you—slow, deep, full of everything he couldn’t say.
her ring on your finger glistened as you cupped his face.
he finally pulled out carefully, watching as his cum leaked out of your swollen pussy onto the white tablecloth. sunghoon helped you sit up, fixing your dress with gentle hands—you too, tying his tie properly.
his forehead rested against yours, eyes closed.
“...do you have to go back?”
——
“hey, is it true?”
“hm?” you murmured sleepily, nuzzling closer to him.
the room was dark except for the light coming from his desk lamp. the two of you were naked underneath the blanket, tangled in his sheets. your head rested on his chest while his fingers traced hearts and his name up and down your bare arm.
sunghoon shifted slightly, looking down at you.
“you’re dating intak?”
.
your eyes widened instantly. you say up so fast the blanket slipped down your chest and you had to quickly pull it up. “what?”
sunghoon didn’t move, he stayed laying on his back, one arm still loosely behind his head as he watched you. his voice stayed calm.
“i heard it from my friends. they said you two have been dating for a while… or at least that’s how it is.” he paused for a second, then added quietly, “well… i’m just asking. really.”
the silence that followed felt suffocating. you pulled the blanket up even more, wishing if it was visible, it would hide the way your heart was hammering against your ribcage.
“um, hoonie, i—” your voice cracked. you didn’t know what to say. you’re not sure how to come clean. not sure how to react. the guilt was written all over your face. how were you supposed to say it?
yes. i’m dating hwang intak.
“yn,” he said softly, cutting you off. sunghoon reached out and gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “just be honest with me.”
he wasn’t angry. no—sunghoon was never an angry person. there was no rage in his voice, no accusation; just quiet disappointment and raw curiosity. his eyes searched yours like he was trying to understand what you were doing.
“i’m not mad,” he continued, almost reassuringly. “i just… i thought i was the only one. that’s all.”
he let out a small breath, the corner of his lips twitching into a sad, half–smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“so… are you dating him?”
this was embarrassing. you were sitting there, naked in his bed, while the boy you were secretly seeing asked you about the other boy you were seeing.
you stared at him, lips slightly parted. the way sunghoon was looking at you made the guilt twist even deeper in your tummy. would it have been better if he was mad? that way, you could reply with anger too.
you swallowed hard, gripping the blanket.
“...yeah,” you whispered, voice barely audible. “i’m dating him.”
sunghoon’s jaw tightened just slightly, but he didn’t look away. he simply nodded, taking a deep breath.
“i’m sorry,” you said quickly, the words tumbling out. “sunghoon, i’m really sorry. i didn’t know how to tell you. it started before… before what we have got serious—and i know—i know it’s fucked up… i know.”
you hugged the blanket tighter to your chest, eyes starting to water. gosh, you sounded like a manipulator.
“i’m not even happy with him anymore,” you admitted, voice cracking. “it just doesn’t feel real with him.”
sunghoon was quiet. he was processing your words before he slowly sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist as he faced you properly. his hand reached out to gently hold yours.
“then why don’t you break up with him?” he asked, direct. “i’m right here, yn. you know how i feel about you. this isn’t going to change anythig—i’m not going anywhere.”
you looked down at your intertwined fingers, thumb brushing nervously over his knuckles. the silence stretched.
“...it’s, um… it’s hard,” you whispered.
sunghoon tilted his head slightly, thick eyebrows furrowed.
“why?” he asked. “if you’re not happy… if you say you want this,” he gestures between the two of you, squeezing your hand. “then why stay with him?”
you bit your lip, averting your gaze elsewhere.
“because i feel guilty,” you confessed, another jab to your chest. “he’s been good to me. he really loves me. and i…i care about him too. i don’t know how to end it without completely breaking him. i don’t know how to do this without hurting someone.”
sunghoon sighed, his free hand went up to scratch the back of his neck—a habit he does often.
he stayed quiet for a few seconds, just staring at your intertwined hands.
then he asked,
“what about me?”
he looked up, meeting your eyes. when did you find it in you to look at him? “what do you feel about me?”
you squeezed his hand tiger, fresh tears sliding down your cheeks.
“i love you,” you whispered, but full of certainty. “i really do, hoonie. it’s not the same as what i feel for him, trust me. it even scares me how much i feel for you. i keep coming back to you even when i know i shouldn’t—because i love you so much. i’m in love with you.”
you leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his shoulder.
“i’m sorry i dragged you into this mess. i never meant to hurt you. i just… you’re the one i think about when i’m not with you.”
sunghoon let out a soft sigh, hand coming up to caress your hair.
“i love you too.” he murmured, kissing the top of your head, then brought your face up to kiss your temple and cheek. he’d go for a smoke, but he promised you he’d stop. bad habits.
“way more than i should.”
——
“take it… fuck, that all of me,” he panted, trembling slightly.
for a long moment, the only sounds in the room were both of you breathing heavily. sunghoon slowly lowered your legs, but he stayed buried inside, not wanting to pull out yet. he leaned down and kissed you—slow, deep, full of everything he couldn’t say.
her ring on your finger glistened as you cupped his face.
he finally pulled out carefully, watching as his cum leaked out of your swollen pussy onto the white tablecloth. sunghoon helped you sit up, fixing your dress with gentle hands—you too, tying his tie properly.
his forehead rested against yours, eyes closed.
the silence felt personal before his phone started ringing loudly on the floor where it had fallen out of his pocket earlier. the sharp sound shattered the moment.
both of you froze.
before either of you could move, the door to the storage room swung open—
—jake, heeseung, and jay stood there with sooha right behind them.
time stopped.
sooha’s eyes widened like it was going to pop out of her sockets—her hand flying up to cover her mouth. the bouquet she was holding slipped from her fingers and hit the floor with a thud. her gaze dropped to your disheveled dress, your flushed face, the cum still dripping down your thighs, the marks on your neck, the stained lipstick…
and the diamond ring—her engagement ring—sitting on your finger.
“sunghoon…?” she murmured like she was still trying to process it, her voice coming out a broken whisper.
the boys’ eyes widened as well.
“fuck…” heeseung muttered first, hissing through his teeth before he looked down on his shoes, pressing on his nose bridge. he looked down at his shoes, clearly stressed. “shit… sunghoon, what the hell…”
jake looked completely stunned, mouth slightly open like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. jay immediately went tight–lipped, his eyebrows pinched together. the three of them weren’t exploding in anger—it was worse.
pure disappointment mixed with exhaustion, like they… they had almost expected something like this might happen but still hoped it wouldn’t.
heeseung genuinely thought sunghoon was over it when he decided to email you the invitation.
sooha’s lips trembled—she wasn’t sure what to feel. she knew there was someone in sunghoon’s life before—one he never fully talked about. but it was years ago! years ago. it was an ancient shit history that went on.
“what the fuck—?!”
her voice finally broke through the realisation. she pushed past the three boys, forcing her way to the front.
the second she moved forward, you and sunghoon scrambled off the table. you turned your face immediately, unable to look at her with the shame burning through your entire body. sunghoon stood in front of you on instinct.
“what the fuck, sunghoon?!” she screamed, all heartbreak and rage. she shoved his chest hard. he stumbled back slightly, but not hitting you.
“on our wedding day?!”
she hit his chest again, and again—frantic hits fueled by pain. “why the fuck is she here—?! why are you fucking her on our wedding day?”
jay looked at heeseung, he looked away.
“stop—sooha, stop,” sunghoon spoke. he grabbed both of her shoulders to stop her from hitting him, but she struggled, sobbing.
“fuck… sooha, please,” sunghoon sighed, holding her shoulders tighter to steady her. “listen to me.” he continued, grabbing her wrists firmly to stop her from hitting him again.
she was crying. “listen to you? what the fuck do you have to say to me?!”
sunghoon glanced at you for a split second, then back at her. his grip on her wrists loosened, but he didn’t let go completely.
“i’m sorry that it happened like this—i really am,” he swallowed the lump in his throat. you shifted on your heels, darting your tongue out to wet your dry lips. “i… i can’t marry you, sooha. i’m so fucked up over yn—i can’t.”
sooha’s breath hitched. your eyes widened, and you found yourself tugging on the back of his blazer to hint at him—what?
sunghoon disregarded both.
heeseung, jake, and jay stayed completely silent by the door, unsure if they should step in or disappear.
the groom swallowed the lump in his throat before fully letting go of her wrists, biting down his bottom lip.
“i’m sorry—i really tried.”
without another word, he reached back and grabbed your wrist firmly, pulling you out of the storage room and storming past his stunned friends and sooha. you barely had time to react as he dragged you down the hallway, away from the hall, away from the guests and the disaster he’d just detonated.
Synopsis: You’ve always despised Park Jongseong - not because of the attention he’s garnered for his exceptional performance within the agency, but because of the burning jealousy within a small part of yourself that feels he doesn’t deserve such recognition. For as long as you’ve known Jay, you’ve concluded that he’s nothing but a careless jerk that’s always excessively clubbing and only managed through his multitude of missions by sheer luck. When the time comes for the both of you to be partnered up for a crucial mission, will such feelings change or will the heart harbor something entirely different?
Warnings: inappropriate language (cursing), explicit mature content - smut (MDNI), dry humping, sexual intercourse, unprotected sex (don’t even think about it), cream pie, mentions of slight violence and Jay is somewhat of an annoying prick
Mishi’s Thoughts: I love a good enemies to lovers situation so I truly tried my best to write well for this one. Not much to say but I hope you all love it! Oh it’s rather long, I feel like it’s shorter than Heeseung’s though so take note. Once more interactions are valued so please please please follow, like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed this. It’ll inspire me so much! I did proofread this fic before posting so any mistakes that you may find are probably what I potentially missed. Taglist is open for Jake’s upcoming fic as well! Also, gentle reminder this is purely fictional and is in no way connected to the person I’m writing about in real life. Thank you so much for reading!
“Where are you princess?” Jay’s deep voice rang out into your ear through the micro-spy earpiece. You listened over the light orchestrated music and faint chatter of guests surrounding you.
You were standing casually by the grazing table, sipping on a flute of champagne. Completely calm as your gaze scanned over the heads of the guests at the charity gala you and Jay were assigned to attend for the sake of an important mission.
“Stop calling me that,” you muttered while sipping on your drink.
You then added, “Grazing table.”
Jay’s now confused voice reverberated in your ear again, his question pissing you off further. As if it wasn’t enough the two of you had to work together tonight. Thanks Director Lee. You just wanted to get this over with.
“No I won’t princess. The nickname suits you. But where are you? Come again?”
“The table with all the finger food, Jongseong,” you let out an irritated sigh with an annoyed huff.
You rolled your eyes when you heard that infuriatingly deep, now calmer chuckle of his through your earpiece. You were so sick of this.
When his taller, handsome frame finally came into view amongst a few guests standing nearby - his toned body effortlessly clad in a well-tailored suit. Jay immediately froze when his eyes landed on you.
Standing a few feet away, you could clearly see him staring at you shamelessly and with obvious awe. It certainly surprised you but you didn’t appear fazed as you kept up your composed expression.
He finally stepped closer, seemingly overcoming his shock and looking you up and down in a way that made you want to slap him senseless.
“Damn princess. You didn’t have to go all out,” he teased lightly as he grabbed a flute of champagne for himself from a passing waiter carrying a tray full of them.
You were in a long strapless, off the shoulder dark red dress - ruched up in various places and pulled tight at the waist by a corset bodice, which only further accentuated your figure. Your hair perfectly styled and your makeup flawless.
You could tell Jay wasn’t complaining at the view at all. Even appearing to be quite distracted. Especially with that long slit up the left thigh’s side of your dress.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, twirling a strand of your styled hair cascading down your shoulders just to taunt him further.
You were well aware of how extravagant the dress was that the agency made you wear for the gala. The sight had turned heads when you arrived and you could still feel people’s stares on you.
“Is that all you care about? Maybe focus on what we actually have to do and get this over with,” you muttered softly so only he could hear.
“Why the rush? I think I’m quite enjoying this gala tonight.”
His eyes still never left your body as he leaned against the table, sipping on his champagne.
“We got all the time in the world and we still have to act like an actual couple now don’t we? So, might as well get started.”
He extended his palm out to you at those words and you tensed up, already reading into his silent question.
“No.” You looked away, rejecting without missing a beat.
“Oh come on princess. People will get suspicious if they see me like this you know,” Jay prompted as he still kept his hand out for you to take.
You shot him a sarcastic glance, eyeing his hand thoughtfully as you responded in a mocking voice.
“Like what? A begging puppy next to me?” You could hardly fight the smirk creeping up on your glossy red lips.
Jay just scoffed under his breath while setting his half-finished champagne on the table beside him. Before you knew it, he had an arm firmly around your waist as he guided you towards the circle of dancers in the center of the beautifully decorated hall.
He didn’t even let you stumble in the silver designer heels you were wearing while pulling you, as you both somehow got into position on the dance floor.
Your hands instantly found his broad shoulders, whereas his hands grabbed your waist, holding you firmly as he skillfully guided your bodies in sync to the classical music playing.
You seethed under your breath, glaring up at him, “What the-?”
Before you could even finish your sentence, Jay cut you off by dipping his head down.
His lips brushed yours lightly as he murmured against them, startling you as your body froze.
“Target is in sight. He’s watching you.”
Your kept your eyes glaring straight up into Jay’s, trying your best to remain composed and fight the reaction his breath with yours made your body.
You didn’t pull away. Because that could potentially ruin everything and instead retorted, your lips brushing his still.
“So? Doing this is so unnecessary.” You huffed out.
“You’re not rejecting it though. Besides, I just don’t like the way he’s looking at you.”
“Like a piece of meat,” he added under his breath, in a darker tone that you couldn’t really decipher.
You glanced around the hall as you both swayed lightly to the music - bodies in sync. You eventually caught the not-so-subtle stare of a middle-aged man in the distance, amongst what appeared to be a rather large group of bodyguards.
You didn’t keep your gaze on the target for long as you turned to look back up at Jay.
“He sees me with you so I doubt it’ll be a problem right? He probably thinks we’re a couple or something,” you tried to reassure, but if anything you were only comforting yourself.
“You think he cares about that? This is Yoon Kang-dae we’re talking about. He’s the leader of one of the biggest gangs in the country at the moment princess. So yeah I doubt me as your supposed boyfriend would stop him.”
You frowned up at him as you muttered, “If you’re thinking to abort the mission because of that man’s stupid eyes that he can’t keep in his sockets - then you’re the most ridiculous spy I have ever met Park Jongseong.”
Jay merely laughed at that, though you could feel his grip on your waist tighten.
“There’s a reason I’m one of the best spies in AISA, princess. You trust me don’t you?”
You scoffed, fingers gripping his suit jacket tighter.
“Hell no.”
He chuckled softly, not listening as his hands snaked down towards your ass, not squeezing but resting there. His eyes were burning holes into the older male’s and you swore you caught something like possessiveness in his gaze.
“Jay!” You could only gasp as he pressed your body firmly against his, your bodies still subconsciously moving to the sound of the music. Jay’s attention suddenly snapped back to you. He had tensed up, making you pause yourself. However, both of you were still dancing smoothly amongst the others, neither faltering for a second or it might blow your covers.
You hastily continued, just so that he doesn’t point out that you used his nickname for the first time ever, “Um yeah so same plan right? Split up and you trail after him to get video evidence of the shady substance deals he’s doing with the other prims in here and I head to his office and look for documented evidence, deal?”
Jay nodded, his head tilted at you as he eyed you intently.
“Let’s wait for him to leave and then we move out.”
It was past midnight when things finally started getting intense.
You and Jay had stopped dancing a while back - with you claiming your heels were hurting your feet. Instead, you two were hovering near the grazing table again, somehow managing to strike up easy conversation while keeping an eye on Yoon. Jay however, had other plans as he was constantly snacking on finger food.
You rolled your eyes when you noticed him reaching for some weird looking block of cheese next. Smacking his arm and nearly making him drop the snack with a yelp - you scolded, “Do you have no shame? What if you get poisoned from that?”
Jay huffed, savoring his cheese without a care in the world, “Oh relax princess, this is a charity gala not some death show. Who’d be that stupid to put poison in finger food at a public event?”
“I’m not talking about that kind of poison Jongseong, I’m referring to natural food poisoning. Look at the condition of that thing you just ate.” You remarked as you scrunched up your face in disgust.
Jay smacked his lips, reaching for another treat, a mini brownie by the looks of it and you slapped his hand away immediately.
He turned to look at you with an offended glare but you weren’t focusing on him anymore, your gaze averted elsewhere.
“Fuck he’s gone,” you mumbled out, eyes swiftly scanning the people in the hall still.
“What? Already? But I just looked at him and he was-”
You groaned, already straightening up and adjusting your dress as you cut him off.
“Does it matter? He’s gone now and it’s all because of your greediness,” you huffed out angrily, not even bothering to look back at him as you moved to leave the gala.
You called out before disappearing out a side door nearby, which lead on to the winding corridor of the estate’s manor, “Let’s go.”
You two got into focus quite easily. All fun and banter set aside for the moment as you split up and followed through with your initial plan - only now Jay needed to hunt for Yoon before he could obtain any sufficient and strong evidence.
You headed up the winding staircase leading from the foyer of the manor, leaving the peaceful ambiance of the gala. Thankfully, the staff and guests were too caught up with the event to even bat an eye or notice intruders roaming around in restricted areas. Jay on the other hand, decided to scour the first floor to perhaps find Yoon and his potential clients.
You had already memorized the security cameras’ and patrol teams’ blind spots beforehand, so it wasn’t difficult for you to find Yoon’s office. Before entering you spoke to Jay, finger on the ear piece as you muttered, “Security cams in the office have been disconnected already right?”
“Mhm, Riki did a while back,” Jay’s voice responded easily.
You acknowledged the response and didn’t continue small talk - not wanting to distract yourself or Jay. So, you quickly slipped inside the office and immediately began hunting for incriminating evidence that could be used to throw Yoon in jail for good. This mission was particularly important because previous AISA spies have tried to thwart his criminal activities, but to no avail.
It was up to you and Jay now.
Using the small, indiscernible pocket knife you had hidden between your chest, the strong blade managed to pull open all the locked drawers of Yoon’s desk and even his safe after you found it. Turns out he’s awful at hiding stuff.
“Bingo.” You muttered to yourself as you scanned through all the files hidden within - a triumphant expression on your face, until Jay’s voice suddenly broke through the peace in your ear.
“Uh- princess? We got a problem.”
You paused, listening carefully and could’ve sworn you heard running footsteps and gunshots in the background over the ear piece.
“What did you do Jongseong?” Your voice was low and even, trying to contain the anger and panic as you realized what was happening as you whisper-yelled at him.
“N-nothing really. I swear it’s not- Ah!” Jay yelped between hurried breaths. Looks like someone got discovered.
“Just- abort okay?! I repeat - ABORTT!!” You could hear Jay screaming as he ran and the thought of it was exceedingly comical to you.
You groaned, shaking your head at his dramatic response. You knew by now that if Yoon realized Jay was an unwanted intruder in his business, then he probably figured out he’d have an acquaintance too.
And it didn’t help that the target saw you with Jay dancing at the gala earlier. His patrol team was probably searching this manor thoroughly as your mind raced with these thoughts.
“I’ll meet you at the car. For the love of God please don’t get yourself killed Jongseong.”
You added after a beat, scrambling up all the files and documents you found necessary to easily convict Yoon, “And stop screaming in my ear it’s annoying. You sound like a blender full of marbles. Stupid ass.”
Jay was speeding down the highway leading off from the Yoon estate using the black, tinted sedan the agency provided for the mission. You were clutching your seatbelt for dear life, your eyes wide as Jay constantly twisted the steering wheel - the car swiveling from lane to lane recklessly.
“They’re gaining on us!” You yelled over the screech of tires as he narrowly avoided colliding into one of the cars driving ahead.
In the rear view mirror, you could clearly see the fleet of tinted SUVs picking up speed as they chased the sedan down the road.
“I know that, stop reminding me!” Jay retorted, his voice a bit higher from how terrified he was just like you.
You felt like your heart was in your hands, pulse roaring in your ears as you constantly shifted your gaze from the vehicles at the back to the highway at the front.
“What the hell did you do to make them so angry?” You demanded, body stiff as you clutched your dress tightly.
“Fuck I don’t know- look it’s nothing it’s so dumb.”
You groaned, massaging your temples.
“It can’t have been ‘nothing’ if they’re on our asses like we killed someone.”
You paused and snapped your head over to Jay, his face distorting into a panicked grimace.
“Please don’t tell me you killed someone, Jongseong,” you were practically pleading that he wasn’t that reckless. He couldn’t be. Top spy of AISA?
Jay just cleared his throat, refusing to answer you as his eyes focused on something straight ahead.
“Forget that, I got an idea.”
You let out a startled scream, clutching the dashboard now as Jay suddenly made a swift turn - rounding a corner and ending up on a dirt road leading off the highway. The car nearly toppling from the force of Jay’s driving.
The vehicles trailing behind didn’t anticipate that move and instead sped past for fear of crashing if they made a risky turn like that. It wouldn’t take long for them to reverse and follow you both though.
“What the fuck was that for?!” You yelled as you took in the thick, dense trees on either side of the narrow path. Everything was pitch black as the sedan’s headlights flashed over whatever was ahead.
The sounds of branches scraping against the exterior of the car along with the tires going over shrubs and bushes on the path echoing around you.
“Bought us time didn’t I? Let’s just hope we can hide and they’ll give up the chase.” Jay replied, his voice much calmer now.
Any minute now the vehicles could return, Jay turning off the headlights of the car after finding a good hiding spot and parking between a tiny clearing amongst the trees - barely large enough to fit the sedan properly.
You could finally let out a relieved breath, your surroundings enveloped in complete darkness as he cut the engine so no noise could be made.
You kept your voice low as you spoke, head leaning against the window, “Lee is going to kill you for mauling a company vehicle like this.”
Jay let out a quiet laugh and when you turned to look at him could barely see him because of the total darkness around you. Yet you had a good feeling he was smiling despite the turn of events.
“He’s the reason we’re in this mess in the first place. All he had to do was raid Yoon’s manor with a search warrant. This whole disguise situation as a waste.”
You chuckled at that, then remembered why you both were here in the first place.
“I mean that’s why we’re spies right? Seriously though what the hell did you do?”
He shook his head even though knowing you could barely see.
“That’s a story for another day princess,” he murmured, clearly not wanting to talk about it just yet.
“But you didn’t kill him right?”
His voice trailed off, “Noo- but wait, actually in a sense-”
“Park Jongseong!”
He groaned finally giving in - although just slightly.
“Okay okay fine. I didn’t exactly kill him but I did shoot him. If he bleeds out he technically does die, but yeah.”
You stared at him in the dark, flabbergasted.
“Yep, Lee’s definitely going to kill you,” you managed out.
Jay tried to refute, “Listen in my defense-”
You cut him off, letting out a disbelieving laugh, “That’s the thing though, you didn’t shoot him because of self defense did you?”
Jay immediately fell silent at that, contemplating his answer.
“No but-”
“Yeah, you’re screwed. Company policy says you’re not supposed to shoot unless they’re a threat to you. A life or death situation.”
Jay let out an exasperated sigh, “You’re really not going to let me finish are you princess?”
“Nope.”
You crossed your arms - sliding down a bit further in your seat, getting comfortable as you continued mockingly, “Seems like I’ll be best agent now.”
“I’ll explain to Lee later when we get back don’t worry. There’s no way I’m letting this get me a suspension. I’m better than you princess you gotta admit that by now. Besides it was just by his hip he’ll be finee,” Jay drawled, seemingly unfazed and uncaring about what he did.
You didn’t get a chance to respond when you caught a flash of headlights in the distance on the path ahead, your heart almost stopping.
Jay noticed it too and immediately unbuckled his seatbelt.
“Backseat. Now.”
You didn’t hesitate, unbuckling yours as well while you climbed on to the center console. Ready to carefully slip into the backseat - being cautious because of how uncomfortable your dress and heels were, you let out a soft yelp when Jay wrapped his arms around your waist, using his body to push you both on to the car’s backseat floor.
You couldn’t even yell or utter a word at him as he clapped a hand over your mouth firmly. Your eyes went wide but you didn’t make a sound - taking in both of your positions as the headlights drew closer and the faint rumble of engines from vehicles approached.
Jay was hovering over you, body pressed firmly against yours. You could feel every inch of him and you tried your best not to think too much about it. Though your mind was beginning to spiral.
The backseat floor was extremely cramped - especially for a broad man like Jay, so it felt like his presence was practically consuming you, his scent the only thing your nostrils could register as he surrounded you. He was pretty much hugging you tightly to him and damn it did he smell really good.
His free arm remained tightly around your waist, sliding down after a few minutes to rest on your right thigh over your dress - where he knew your gun was strapped to after bolting into the car earlier as he sped off by Yoon’s estate.
The beams of flashlights suddenly drew closer and bounced off the barks of trees around the sedan. You could hear the faint murmur of Yoon’s men as they circled the vehicle, dead leaves and dry grass crunching under the surface of their boots.
Jay shifted his position, intending to use his broad back in his black suit jacket to shield you both from detection - lying flat against you now.
You both held your breaths as the brightness of the beams illuminated your faces in the dark from the sheer force of them. Thankfully, because the car was heavily tinted and the engine was off, it appeared that the men were beginning to think you guys had abandoned the sedan and fled.
One ray gleamed directly into a backseat window, another shining through the windshield. You tensed up even more against Jay, praying they wouldn’t detect you both. Your eyes met his directly as his gaze bore into yours, something in his eyes beginning to calm you.
“Clear!” You heard one of the men shout in the distance as the beams withdrew, growing dim by the minute as the men retreated.
You both waited until you heard the hum of the vehicles’ engines become fainter - until it was dead silent in the otherwise empty forest.
Jay didn’t move just yet, slowly removing his hand from your mouth. The position you both were in somehow made you feel a bit awkward and you cleared your throat turning your head away.
“You can get off of me now.”
Jay didn’t respond staying silent for a long minute, instead he simply buried his face against the exposed crook of your neck, making you freeze. Your body trembled slightly at the ticklish sensation on instinct.
“What the fuck-?”
“Shh,” he cut you off calmly - body completely relaxed over yours, his voice and breath hitting your skin which sent shivers down your spine.
You were rendered speechless for a moment, uncertain of what to say. In turn, Jay only nuzzled further against your neck, humming lightly with content against your skin. He wasn’t acting like the Jay you knew at all.
“You smell good,” he murmured, almost instinctively as he inhaled deeply.
You rolled your eyes, fighting a smile as you reached up and smacked the back of his head.
“Get off me Jongseong,” you demanded, though your voice was a tad softer than the usual annoyed tone you had while regarding him.
He groaned softly, “You’re no fun princess.”
He pressed a quick, light kiss to the base of your throat, making you stiffen as he pulled away. Effortlessly sitting up on the backseat and climbing back into the driver’s seat in front, he called back to you - still rooted to the spot while curled up on the sedan’s floor.
“You staying down there or what?”
“You gonna tell me how your mission went with Jay or what?” Yunjin asked for what felt like the hundredth time as you waited for her to finish getting ready.
You both were heading to one of the top clubs in the city to celebrate the success of your difficult mission partnered with Jay. Thanks to the documents you acquired, the government convicted Yoon easily and he ended up being sentenced to prison for life along with his substance ring and gang falling apart. The law holding all involved by mention of evidence, accountable as well.
Director Lee had organized the celebration party as he was extremely proud of the work you and Jay pulled off - and managed to survive too upon hearing about the high speed chase you two were involved in.
You were leaning against her bedroom wall, groaning to yourself at your best friend’s question as you watched her apply her makeup. Dressed in a sleeveless dark grey top that accentuated your figure and a short light grey miniskirt, you had accessorized your outfit with a black and gold belt hung loosely around your hips along with knee length black heeled boots.
“I told you it went fine, Yunjin,” you responded dryly.
“Besides it clearly went perfectly if Lee decided to go so far as to rent out a club. I told you multiple times in detail how it went.”
Yunjin chuckled under her breath as she applied her mascara, remarking slyly, “Doesn’t seem like just ‘fine’ to me. You’re even more jumpy than usual whenever I mention Jay.”
“And I know it’s not because you hate him, don’t lie to me,” she quickly added as you were about to open your mouth and argue against her words.
“You’re overthinking it. It was just one simple mission with that freak and as usual he was just being annoying the entire time.”
“He’s been eyeing you more than usual lately. And if you ask me it’s not really to tease you like before. There’s gotta be something going on with you two that has nothing to do with hate,” she replied, shooting you a quick glance.
You tensed up at that, your mind flashing back to the events of the previous night - even though nothing exactly happened per se, it was just harmless flirting from Jay. Or was it?
You cleared your throat, looking away immediately - a nervous habit Yunjin knew you had all too well, as you added hastily while flinging your hands dramatically, “Who Jay? Absolutely not. It’s only been one day since the mission. That’s not reason enough. Besides he’s this arrogant player, there’s no way he’s whatever you’re trying to imply because of me.”
Yunjin laughed, applying her favorite lippie before commenting, “He doesn’t really seem to care much about his admirers these days come to think about it. I don’t remember the last time I heard him gloat about himself since you two returned. And you know how dramatic he is.”
You scoffed, “The mission ended last night, Yunjin.”
She shrugged lightly as she fluffed her hair and took a once over of herself in her mirror before she deemed herself ready to leave, responding casually, “Fair enough. I guess only time can tell.”
“So you ready to go?”
She asked casually and you nodded not noticing her sly and knowing gaze as she took in your attire for the evening, following you out her bedroom.
The club was loud and stuffy when you both arrived. Mainly because of the multitude of trainees and agents dancing and drinking while having a good time tonight. Music blared through the large speakers lining the walls as you weaved your way through the crowd with Yunjin, occasionally flashing polite and strained smiles at people that recognized you and congratulated you on the successful mission.
Yunjin led you both straight to the bar as the crowd grew smaller, with only a few persons in groups littering the area while others lined the bar stools to order drinks.
You caught sight of Jay sprawled on a couch in a VIP booth nearby with his group of friends. They all looked like sights for sore eyes, from Heeseung all the way down to Riki. The only person that mainly caught your attention however was Jay - who didn’t notice you just yet.
And damn did he look fucking hot. He was lounging casually on one of the couches, swirling a glass of whiskey in his hand - classy and attractive at the same time. Wearing a simple buttoned black shirt - the first few buttons undone which exposed the faint skin of his smooth chest slightly, along with black slacks that covered his spread legs down to his ankles. His free hand was resting loosely on his thigh as he sipped his drink, calm eyes scanning the club until they eventually landed on you.
He raised his eyebrows, scanning your body from head to toe as his gaze lingered on the outfit you were wearing. His friends were all chatting away obliviously around him, but it felt like his eyes were burning holes straight into you.
He smirked slightly and eventually just raised his glass lightly at you before taking a sip. That same moment, Yunjin got your drinks and had returned back to you. She managed to catch the intense eye contact you and Jay were sharing as she nudged you to get your attention.
She teased lightly, “Go over there if you want to fuck him so bad. The sexual tension between you two is insane.”
You rolled your eyes, scrunching up your face in disgust and holding back the urge to shove her, “Shut the fuck up.”
She laughed heartily in your face as she took a sip of her drink, leaning against the counter of the bar as she scanned the club.
“Drunk idiots,” she muttered to herself.
“Couldn’t even wait for a toast to you and Jay. They just had to go and get high already,” she huffed.
“Where is Lee either way?” You asked as you looked around, trying to get a glimpse of your boss.
“Who cares? We’re here for a party not work. He’s unimportant.” Yunjin downed the rest of her drink, surprising you at her quick pace.
“I’m gonna go get another one, need a refill or not yet?” She gestured sarcastically to your untouched drink.
You grumbled under your breath, shooing her away and she laughed to herself, walking back to the bartender.
“Did anyone ever tell you how much of a nice ass you have princess?” A familiar and always so irritating voice suddenly mumbled into your ear behind you, making you yelp with a startle and almost spill your drink.
Jay laughed, “Careful there, don’t want to ruin that pretty outfit of yours.”
You rolled your eyes, whirling around to glare up at him, “Jongseong.”
“Princess.” He responded simply, amused eyes boring into yours.
He raised his eyebrows while listening to your demand, “What do you want now?”
“Wasn’t it obvious? I just said it,” he responded calmly, gesturing to your ass in your skirt and his tone began to piss you off.
“My ass is none of your business so stop looking at it,” you snapped at him, taking a long sip of your drink as a way to calm down.
He chuckled enthusiastically, enjoying riling you up.
“I can look where I want. You can’t tell me what to do.”
His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned down, murmuring against your ear, “And you weren’t that opposed to me feeling it last night were you? I have to admit it was rather soft.”
You scoffed, cheeks flushing as you sipped on your drink again. Refusing to let his proximity get to you as you retorted, “You’re behaving like we fucked or something when all you did was grab my ass just for the sake of appearances regarding our mission.”
He shook his head, chugging the rest of his whiskey, “So technical and for what reason.”
“Loosen up a little princess, tonight’s for us either way,” he nudged you lightly before winking, sauntering over to the bar to get a refill of his drink while you stood there, dumbfounded.
It was then that you noticed Director Lee stepping up on to the stage at a corner of the club, lights moving to direct on the middle-aged man’s figure.
He stood there, tall and imposing in a posh suit and you rolled your eyes while smiling to yourself. Always overly sophisticated in moments that didn’t call for it.
His booming voice spoke into the microphone presented on stage already, “Greetings everyone.”
That caught the attention of the people in the club, all eyes directed on him. Pleased that he got what he wanted, Lee continued.
“I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. Just a quick toast to celebrate the reason we’re all here tonight.”
His eyes scanned the crowd of bodies, as if looking for you two.
“Jay. Y/N. Can you both come up here please? With your drinks preferably.”
You let out a quiet groan under your breath - not too fond of being the center of attention. Nevertheless, you made your way over to the stage, people parting for you with pleased and drunken smiles. You could almost feel Jay’s looming presence behind you, following from the bar.
When you both stepped on to the stage, a round of applause and cheers broke loose. You made your way over to Lee, flashing him a warm smile to which he reciprocated with a curt nod to you and Jay.
You stood calmly on the stage as the director continued to speak, discussing the importance of the mission Jay and you went on the previous night. Along with how risky it was for both of us.
Jay had moved to stand beside you and you suddenly stiffened when you felt his arm drape casually around your waist. You didn’t dare look at him, your cheeks burning as you kept your eyes on the crowd down below. Jay on the other hand, had a smug smirk on his lips as he paid attention to Lee, clearly aware of the effect he was having on you.
His thumb stroked absentminded circles along the curve of your waist and you hated your body for eventually relaxing into it.
“A toast,” Lee’s voice broke your thoughts as he raised his glass, “To two of the best agents AISA has seen within this generation so far.”
Everyone else raised their glasses in unison, including you and Jay.
Suddenly, Lee smiled. You caught it. The faint curve of his lips upward. And you blinked, trying to process what you were seeing. Lee rarely smiled unless he was up to something. Or it could be that he was just really pleased with the work you and Jay did right?
“Also, to commemorate such fine work that they’ve both been doing so far, I have decided on something.”
You finally shot a glance at Jay, whose grip had tensed just slightly on your waist. He met your eyes, clearly just as confused as you while murmurs broke through amongst the other agents.
Lee smiled a bit wider, sensing the confusion as he continued calmly.
“It is my pleasure to announce that I have assigned Jay and Y/N as partners permanently. Not just for this last mission they had, but they will be working together from now on - a combined force - for every other mission that comes their way.”
Your heart dropped. Gasps and shocked mumbles echoed in your ears as you processed what the director just said.
You? Working alongside Jay? Fuck no.
Even Jay looked horrified. You could tell by the way his grip on your waist went completely slack. His expression aghast as he stared at a smirking Lee.
“Cheers agents!” Lee announced calmly, raising his glass to you both and taking a sip casually.
You and Jay barged into one of the club’s back rooms, following Lee. Both of you have been complaining to him since you stepped off the stage and it only pissed you off further that the director looked completely unfazed.
“I work solo, Sir!” Jay whined as he tried to convince Lee to change his mind.
“You could’ve assigned me with anyone else but you chose Jay?! This is ridiculous!” You added sulkily.
“Please change your mind, Sir!” You both were practically pleading with the older man.
Lee simply laughed while shaking his head.
“This is exactly why I think it’ll be good for you both to work together. You both need to set your differences aside.”
You widened your eyes, trying to act innocent.
“Differences? We have no differences. Jay and I are great friends aren’t we?” You nudged Jay, who straightened up and nodded in response.
Lee chuckled, “You two can’t fool me. I know a good pair when I see one.”
“With all due respect Sir, the only reason I agreed to work with Y/N on the Yoon case was because you said we had to play a fake couple.” Jay remarked.
“But other than that she’s a complete waste,” he added slyly, shooting you a glance. This man knew exactly how to rile you up.
You immediately started on him, whirling around.
“Excuse me? Who was the one that almost got his head blown off while running away from a bunch of Yoon’s men? Hollering like a screaming baby the entire time all the way to the car might I add!” You gritted your teeth at him.
Jay’s smirk faded slightly, “Oh please, it’s not like I would’ve gotten myself killed. I was overreacting for the fun of it.”
You huffed, crossing your arms, “Sure yeah. Fool around like an idiot in the middle of a crucial mission. You could’ve gotten both of us in serious trouble or even wound up dead!”
“Nonsense. I saved your pretty ass with my amazing driving skills,” Jay retorted, his arrogant tone frustrating you.
“That doesn’t change the fact that you had people chasing us in the first place because of some outrageous and unnecessary stunt you pulled! We’re spies for God’s sake, Jongseong! Not dramatic actors!” You yelled at him.
Jay raised his own voice in return, “You wouldn’t understand why I did it. Stop making me out to be a bad person when the mission literally went completely fine. We’re here and unharmed aren’t we?”
You frowned, “That’s supposed to make this all okay? I don’t want a reckless attention-seeking partner!”
Your eyes scanned the dimly lit back room, eyes adjusting to the contents of the area as you blinked not finding the director or hearing his voice anywhere. Of course, he probably slipped out when you two began arguing. Typical Lee.
Jay didnt seem to notice nor care as your insult had hit him deep. He instead yelled out angrily.
“I only shot him because of you!”
That made you pause, your eyes snapping up to his blazing ones. Confused, you managed out, “What?”
Jay seemed to realize what he said and for once in your life you noticed Park Jongseong looked nervous. He was fidgeting with his hands until he eventually shoved them into the pockets of his slacks. You weren’t sure if it was because of the glowing red lights in the room or your mind playing tricks on you, but was he also blushing?
He cleared his throat, tapping his polished black shoe lightly against the floor, “Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that, Jay. Spit it out. Why did you do it?” The anger in your voice was slowly dissipating.
Jay glanced sheepishly at his feet as he mumbled, “He was talking to his clients about you. It seems they all had their eyes on you that night.”
You frowned, listening while not saying anything.
“I overheard him. It’s like drugs weren’t that important to them at that moment. Only you were.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean by that?”
Jay let out an exasperated sigh, massaging his temples, “They were planning to take you from me Y/N. I couldn’t help it. The way they were talking about you. The things they wanted to do to you. I got so angry I-”
He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.
“I know it wasn’t right for me to shoot him. But somehow he had photos of you from the gala and he was showing it to them. If you only heard the nasty things they were saying. I couldn’t help it. I had to.”
He added wryly, “And truth be told, I was aiming for his dick but oh well.”
That made you laugh. A light, airy sound that surprised both of you. Your amused eyes met his startled, widened ones, his cheeks flushed from his confession.
“Didn’t think you liked me so bad, Jongseong,” you teased lightly, no longer upset at him.
Jay rolled his eyes, his gaze boring into yours, “You know I could never hate you right?”
You hummed lightly, nodding.
“All you had to do was choke him or something for a bit you know,” you joked softly.
He laughed, shaking his head, “That wouldn’t have been enough trust me. Even just shooting him once didn’t calm me down. I wanted him dead.”
You rolled your eyes laughing, “You’re so damn dramatic.”
“Only for you princess,” he winked, both of you cringing at that.
“Partners?” You held out your hand for him to shake eventually.
Jay stared at your manicured fingers for a solid minute before he nodded. Grasping your hand, instead of shaking it, he used his strength to pull you closer. His free hand instantly cupped your face, soft lips meeting your glossy ones easily.
Your fingers intertwined with his and surprisingly enough, you let yourself melt into the kiss.
It started off sweet and hesitant at first, both of you trying to get familiar with the taste and feel of each other’s lips. Until, the kiss escalated, growing more passionate and intense as you snaked your arms around Jay’s neck, his own toned arms wrapping around your waist - crushing your body to his effortlessly.
You tilted your head slightly as the kiss deepened - a clash of tongue and teeth as you both made out.
He squeezed your hip, a silent gesture and you responded easily. Not breaking the kiss for a second, you walked backwards, knees hitting the edge of one of the couches in the back room. Jay carefully laid you down, hovering over you as his lips trailed down along your jaw - your head tilted to give him better access.
The sounds of both your ragged breaths echoed in the room, the bass of club music outside now faint and muffled to your ears. You could only think about one thing and that was Park Jongseong.
You let out a breathy gasp when his teeth nipped lightly at the sensitive skin of your neck, your body shivering. Your fingers tangled in his soft, thick, dark locks of hair while tugging slightly. Earning a muffled groan against your skin as he sucked a hickey along the edge of your collarbone.
Jay lifted his head, eyes boring into yours as a teasing smile played on his lips, “Where’s all that mouth you had now, huh princess?”
You rolled your eyes, shoving him off you as he fell back on the cushions of the couch with a surprised yelp. You then proceeded to climb on to his lap, legs settling on either side of his thighs as you straddled him.
Jay’s eyes went wide as his hands gripped your hips firmly, his gaze traveling along the sight of your body on top of him.
“Gorgeous,” he breathed out, as his lips found your neck again trailing searing kisses while you leaned your head back.
Your body began to feel all hot and bothered. The lighting in the room only adding to the intimacy of the moment. You griped Jay’s broad shoulders tightly, trying to ground yourself to reality instead of losing yourself to the moment too fast.
Your mind and body had two different ideas though. Because your hips jerked slightly against Jay’s, his lips pausing his work on your neck.
A soft chuckle escaped him as his breath hit your skin lightly, “Eager aren’t we?”
He reciprocated lightheartedly, your breath hitching when his hips lifted up to meet yours for a split second.
You grumbled softly, clearly desperate for him, “Tease.”
He laughed, “Just say you want me that bad princess. I’ll give you what you want.”
You huffed, stubborn as you rolled your hips against his, earning soft groans from both of you.
“No.”
He shook his head, matching your pace and lifting his own hips to grind his clothed erection against your concealed core.
“Two can play that game princess,” he rasped out, both sets of breathing growing shallow as the grinding continued, sending pleasure straight down both your spines.
You purposely grinded a bit harder against the hard and obvious bulge in Jay’s slacks, resulting in him squeezing your hips as he let out a strained grunt.
His eyes snapped up to yours, blazing with desperation and need. His voice hoarse as he asked, “Can I?”
You nodded, lifting your hips slightly as he hastily unbuckled his belt, you doing the same so he can access your skirt better. He unzipped his slacks, tugging them down a bit on his thighs along with his boxers.
His thick cock sprung out and your mouth went dry at the sight. Long and leaky at the tip, with obvious veins pulsing on either side of it, Jay didn’t hesitate to rub himself lightly against your thigh while hiking up your skirt.
He groaned softly at the sight of your black lace panties, soaked with your arousal and clinging to your folds enticingly. You finally snapped out of your supposed trance at the sight of his cock and straightened up, prying his hands away from your panties.
Eager to take control, you shot him a glare and he just smiled while rolling his eyes. He gripped your thighs instead as you reached down tugging your panties aside exposing your bare pussy to his gaze before immediately sinking down on his cock. The stretch was painful, burning your walls as you took him in but you couldn’t care less. You were determined to prove you can handle him.
Jay let out a strangled moan, his head falling against the back of the couch, feeling how tightly you were squeezing him. His hands traveled up to grip your hips, thumbs subconsciously grazing against the fabric of your skirt while waiting for you to adjust to him.
He breathed out voice laced with concern, “God you’re so impatient princess. You doing okay?”
You nodded with a quiet whimper, fingers gripping his shirt tightly as your body finally relaxed and adjusted - letting him in completely and damn was he deep like this.
You rolled your hips lightly against his, a quiet gasp spilling past your lips at the friction and Jay took the cue, his own body responding.
The two of you set a slow and pleasurable pace together, bodies falling into sync. The sensational feeling made your eyes flutter shut as you began to moan and whimper - unable to hold back the way you felt, Jay’s own groans mingling with your sinful sounds.
His hands were steady on your hips sliding down to your ass, lightly guiding your body as you both moved. He thrusted up a bit harder than intended to meet your movements, resulting in a breathy whine of his name to leave your mouth.
Pleased, he picked up the pace, thrusting up into you as you began to bounce on his cock following him. You threw your head back - moaning and crying out in pure bliss while Jay’s hands snaked up, squeezing and massaging your breasts lightly over your top.
You were losing control of yourself and he felt it, your movements growing shallow against his quickened pace. He gripped your waist tightly and flipped you over easily, sprawled out on the couch as Jay began to pound into you from above, spreading your legs wider.
“Making you feel so good aren’t I?”
You were a moaning mess, unable to respond as he chuckled lightly between his own groans, “Still hate me princess?”
You whined out, nodding your head even though you both knew it was anything but, especially with the way he was fucking you so good.
Your eyes rolled back, body tensing up, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing in the back room along with your sweet cries and the breathiest whimpers that Jay only wanted to hear for the rest of his life.
“Close?” He rasped out with a smirk, as he shifted slightly - angling himself deeper into you, making you moan his name loudly.
You nodded, blindly holding on to his back, fingers gripping his shirt for dear life as you felt something in your stomach contract.
“J-Jay-” you tried to speak as your voice broke into a desperate moan right after.
“Mm?” He responded sweetly, eyes roving over how wrecked you looked like this as he thrusted up hard into you, hitting that sweet spot that made you see stars.
“It’s okay princess I got you, come on,” he coaxed softly, fingers reaching down to rub your clit which only overstimulated you further.
“F-fuck too much-” you didn’t get to finish as you came hard around him, screaming his name. Walls clamping down on his cock, squeezing him so tightly, you heard him moan with his own body tensing up. Your back arched off the cushions as your orgasm ripped through you.
Jay followed right after, shooting thick ropes of his release into you, both your bodies shuddering. Helping to ride through your highs together.
You lay there, dazed as you slowly recovered from your intense orgasm. Panting heavily as you remained sprawled out on the couch - clothes a mess on your body, eyes closed and swollen lips parted as you took deep breaths. He took in how amazing you looked wasted like this as he pulled out, watching your mixed releases dripping sloppily out of your spent hole with pure satisfaction.
Jay - being careful not to put too much weight on you, then slumped against your body. He rested his head lightly against your chest, listening to the rapid pace of your heartbeat.
He managed out while snuggling close to you, “Partners for life?”
You rolled your eyes, laughing breathlessly, “Oh shut up.”
He laughed heartily in response, arms snaking tightly around your body - clearing not wanting to let go.
And as your fingers subconsciously found his messy hair - stroking the soft locks thoughtfully, you realized that wasn’t such a bad idea.
Synopsis: Park Sunghoon is known for being distant - polite, quiet, unreadable. Most people assume that he doesn’t feel much at all. But when you transfer as his new partner, you end up noticing the small things: the way he listens more than he speaks, the way he softens when he talks about his favorite hobby, the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention. Slowly, he lets you into his world - late-night training sessions, quiet walks home and secrets he’s never told anyone. So when life hits him harder than he expects, you become the one person he can’t push away.
Warnings: inappropriate language (cursing), explicit mature content - smut (MDNI), oral sex (f receiving), face riding, backshots, sexual intercourse, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), somewhat angsty, mentions of shooting and slight violence, mentions of blood and Sunghoon being Sunghoon atp
Mishi’s Thoughts: My finals are done so I’ve been lazing around all week and did not manage my time properly. Thus, resulting in me barely finishing this fic in time to post. But oh well, it’s not as rushed but I hope you all can enjoy it! I wanted to add so much more details to certain scenes but I’m out of ideas and once again time. But yeahh! I actually cannot believe how fast time is going like I literally finished the hyung line in less than a month of opening this account and now I’m moving on to the maknae line. I seriously hope everyone can enjoy reading this fic and that it lives up to your standards. Plus I can’t wait to finish the rest of the series and keep evolving with my work. I didn’t get to proofread properly I am so sorry about my negligence regarding that. Also, once more, never forget that the way I write is in no way associated with any of the people I’m dealing with. Thank youu in advance for reading everyone and take care and enjoy!!
“Regardless of who she is, I thought I told you that I want to work alone now, Sir,” Sunghoon’s dry voice came out, clearly irritated as he looked around Director Lee’s spacious office.
“It’ll be good for you Sunghoon, relax. I know you’re extremely hesitant and sensitive about partners right now but-,” Lee cleared his throat, falling silent when the agent shot him a disapproving glare.
“She’ll be good for you, I’m trying to maintain agency policy here. Just give her a chance okay? Please. It might be worth it who knows?”
The director gave him a small, reassuring smile as he pushed a file across the desk towards him - a strange occurrence which Sunghoon didn’t like as it seemed like everybody was pitying him these days especially.
“I don’t need you to feel sorry for me,” Sunghoon replied curtly.
Director Lee let out a heavy exhale, trying to speak gently but it only pissed Sunghoon off further, “I know you’re still not over what happened-”
The director paused when Sunghoon slammed his hand down on the desk, rising to his feet.
He didn’t need to say anything further as he grabbed the file and stormed out of the office - kicking the door shut behind him, fuming and upset to the point where his ears had turned red with rage.
Just as he rounded the corner for the elevator, he suddenly bumped into someone, both of you losing your balance and toppling.
Before you even realized what had actually happened, you found yourself lying on top of a well-built, handsome young man. His strong arms were wrapped firmly around your waist - as if he had initially ended up below you because he was trying to protect you.
The moment you both realized what comprising position you ended up in, you hastily stood up and got off to him. Sunghoon rose to his feet, looking tense and dusting down his slacks as he coughed, looking anywhere but at you.
When his attention did end up refocusing on an awkward-looking you, he froze before tilting his head when he recognized you.
“You’re Lee Y/N?” He asked, his voice cold and uninterested but you noticed the curiosity lingering in his gaze as he eyed you.
You nodded, finally taking a proper look at him yourself.
“I am, yeah. Do I know you?” You asked, remaining polite as possible.
He stuck out his hand for you to shake briefly, “Soon you will. I’m your new partner you’re assigned to.”
You shook his hand in return, realization dawning on you, “Is that so? Wait you’re Sunghoon? It’s nice to meet you, oh-”
You blinked, processing the fact that he barely shook your hand for about a split second before hastily pulling away.
Sunghoon shoved his free hand into his slacks pocket, the other gripping the file he dropped when he bumped into you.
He looked away, not really taking much of an interest in keeping conversation with you it seems.
“Sorry about bumping into you. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he spoke up after a few minutes of prolonged silence with you two standing there uncomfortably.
You immediately reassured him, “No no it’s okay don’t worry. I should’ve paid attention to where-” your voice trailed off, watching Sunghoon and walk away without another glance when he realized you didn’t have a problem with him.
“What a weird prick,” you muttered under your breath, watching him disappear into the elevator.
When you entered Director Lee’s office down the hall after knocking, you immediately complained, “Dad, must I really be assigned to a partner like him?”
Your father laughed, shaking his head, “I see you’ve met Sunghoon on his way out? Yeah he’s in a bad mood. I’m sorry sweetheart.”
You huffed, crossing your arms, “I was only trying to be polite and he just walked away in the middle of conversation. Barely any decent manners if you ask me.”
“You two just need to get warmed up to each other. Sunghoon’s a great agent, he’ll be careful and considerate to work with during your missions. Which is exactly why I had him assigned to you, he doesn’t take nonsense lightly.”
You frowned, ready to object but Lee beat you to it, “He’s not as bad as you think. He just needs to warm up to you that’s all. And he’ll be great help with improving your techniques during training.”
You let out a heavy exhale, massaging your temples as you tried to joke out lightly, “You know I’m like you right? Barely any patience unless I really try?”
Director Lee smiled, a knowing one that reached his eyes.
“Which is exactly why I’m pleading with you on this sweetheart. Give him a chance with some time and just be patient with him okay? He’s a complicated man sure, but he’s not as tough as you think.”
When it was time for your first mission together, you genuinely thought you were just wasting your time with Sunghoon.
It infuriated you that he refused to acknowledge your presence, keeping a polite distance and rarely letting you do anything.
He was treating you like a burden, as if you were some temporary assignment and you hated it.
It didn’t help that he barely spoke either, unless completely necessary and that was usually when he was barking out orders to you.
“Stay here,” he told you curtly.
You both were hiding from view behind one of the warehouse security camera’s blind spots, shielded by a forklift.
You frowned, “You’re going in without me? That’s dangerous.”
Sunghoon whipped his head back at you, eyes narrowed.
“This is an easy mission. I can do it myself.”
You scoffed, crossing your arms, “So that’s what this is about? You working alone all the time? That’s not fair Sunghoon I’m your partner now!,” you practically whisper-yelled at him.
He frowned, massaging his temples as if you were somehow stressing him out, “It’s not like that Y/N but-”
“Then what? You can’t stop being an insufferable asshole even if it’s just for a minute?” You seethed, making him fall silent.
Sunghoon stared at you intently for a long moment - his face betraying nothing, not saying anything at first until he rasped out, “Insufferable asshole?”
When you realized you just insulted him to his face you immediately regretted it, “Sunghoon- wait-”
You didn’t get to utter out an apology because he walked away, not even bothering to answer you as he made his way towards warehouse - hiding from the shadows and of course you - to gather the documents required to complete the mission without you.
You on the other hand, stood there by the forklift, stunned. You did feel the guilt creeping up within you at your own words. But when you finally snapped out of your thoughts and decided to follow him - he was nowhere to be found.
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath as you scoured the perimeter, searching for him.
“Sunghoon you there? We can talk later about everything just let me know you’re alright.”
There was no response from him, only static could be heard over the intercom connected to your watch.
When you rounded a corner of the warehouse, you noticed a door left slightly open. Assuming Sunghoon went through there, after carefully assessing your surroundings, you slipped inside as well - disappearing into the darkness that lay ahead.
You tried to be as quiet as possible, tiptoeing down the dimly-lit corridor leading off away from where you came through.
You were so distracted trying to find Sunghoon that you didn’t even notice the functioning security cameras glaring right at you as you passed various doors.
“Looking for something love?” You froze, hearing an unfamiliar voice behind you.
Slowly you turned around, your eyes meeting a pair of rather sinister ones, a tall, buff man with his arms crossed was standing before you that definitely was not Park Sunghoon.
You took a step back, the man following with one of his own as you instinctively raised your hands in surrender.
“I- I just got lost that’s all-”
The man cut you off with a deep chuckle, shaking his head as he cracked his knuckles while giving you a once over.
“You shouldn’t be here. This is private property obviously.” He stepped closer to you, your retreated movements resulting in your back hitting the corridor wall.
Fuck. Dead end.
The unfamiliar man’s voice dropped lower, almost malicious, “And pretty girls shouldn’t lie.”
Before the man could even so much as grab you, a loud thunk reverberated in the air, something coming into contact with the man’s head and knocking him out cleanly.
You stared in shock for a moment as you watched the man slump to the floor unconscious, your stunned expression meeting an angry Sunghoon’s glare.
He was livid, chest heaving as he glanced between the motionless figure and you, his gun still in his hand which he used the grip and magazine of to strike him.
Yells could be heard from both ends of the hallway - hurried voices and running footsteps rushing in from either side and you felt yourself behind to panic, unsure of what to do in this situation.
Sunghoon, sensing your inner turmoil somehow, just grasped your hand before pulling you into one of the rooms off the corridor, locking the door and buying you both some time.
You tried to catch your breath, turning around to search for an escape within the room when you let out a startled yelp, your gaze landing on the sight before your eyes.
You immediately backed up as your eyes adjusted to the confines of the room, the stench of something rotten reaching your and Sunghoon’s noses as you ended up bumping into him. He caught you easily and you were heavily aware of how tight he was gripping you as he himself scanned the room.
The room was dim, lit only by a flickering bulb that swung from the ceiling and a window really far up a wall exposing the dark night sky outside. Beneath it lay a pile of bodies, stacked haphazardly like discarded attempts of a terrible experiment.
Some were bound at the wrists. Some had broken restraints still attached. Some had claw marks on the floor leading away from them - long, desperate trails that ended abruptly.
The walls surrounding you both were covered in scratch marks, overlapping in frantic layers. Words. Pleas. Names. Some carved so deep that the plaster had cracked.
And scattered across the floor were the objects that had caused all of it: a serrated clamp, a hammer with a bent handle, a metal rod blackened at the tip, even a saw missing half its teeth. Tools that had been used until they broke.
The bulb flickered again, making you flinch.
Something shifted in the pile and for a moment you thought this was the end.
Nothing was alive though - just collapsing under its own weight.
Sunghoon tried to unlock and open the door you both just came through, frowning as he realized something.
“They locked it from the outside,” he said with annoyance in his tone.
“Gun out,” he turned around, raising his own at the pile of rotting corpses with disdain.
“Oh right. I forgot I had that,” you replied sheepishly, pulling your own pistol out from the holster strapped to your hip.
Sunghoon merely shot you an unamused glance, not pleased with your reaction and your attempts at joking as he continued, “That window up there is our only shot out. Calling for backup is too risky as they might intercept and come in to kill us themselves.”
“Besides we don’t even know what the hell these people were doing with this things. They could be alive still for all we know,” he added, moving around the pile and making his way towards the window, a small barred square that even you weren’t certain you could fit through.
You grimaced at the sight and smell of everything before you in the room, well aware of the dried up blood spilled all over as your own boots crunched against the floor, following Sunghoon carefully.
He stepped aside when you approached the window, sinking down on to one knee and he rolled his eyes when you only shot him a confused expression in response.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thermal lance pen, saying exasperatedly as he handed it to you, “Climb up and cut the bars Y/N. I’ll give you a boost.”
You grumbled under your breath at his attitude before putting one foot on his outstretched hands, leaping up with the help of his strength and grabbing on to the ledge of the window as he hovered below to catch you just in case.
You used the beams of laser heat shooting out of the pen to cut through some of the bars, using your hand to pull the grill aside and push the window up and open forcefully.
A loud clang echoed from outside when the shutter fell to the concrete outside, Sunghoon grimacing below you.
Before you could climb out however, you glanced back down at Sunghoon below you, “How are you getting out?”
He raised his eyebrows, responding simply, “You have to pull me out.”
You scoffed, “I don’t have strength for that.”
He gave you a once-over nodding to himself, “I know that.”
You frowned, narrowing your eyes down at him, “So?”
He exhaled heavily, shaking his head, “Leave it Y/N. I don’t need your help.”
You rolled your eyes, muttering under your breath, “Sorry for offering then.”
You pushed yourself through the opening the window gave, falling with a soft grunt to the concrete ground outside the warehouse.
“Oh great,” you mumbled to yourself, rising to your feet and backing slowly against the wall as you took in the semi-circle of men surrounding you with their vicious guard dogs growling.
You raised your pistol, aiming around at each of them but they only laughed in your face, their own guns aimed in your face. Even you knew you were overpowered.
At that moment thankfully, Sunghoon jumped down smoothly from the window above you.
You hated how cool he looked when he landed in front of you, already shooting at multiple of the men around you both, catching them off-guard.
“Oh fuck run!” You yelled at Sunghoon, when some of the men that got shot buckled over, letting go of the drooling guard dogs that lunged at you both.
You ran as fast as you could, trying to keep up with Sunghoon’s longer legs as you felt the adrenaline kick in - pulse roaring in your ears and your breathing ragged as white puffs of breath escaped your mouth in the cold.
The sounds of the dogs picking up speed behind you echoed in your head - their menacing growls and the scraping of their chains let loose as they dragged along the ground reverberated through your spine. You could even hear the other uninjured men chasing after you two.
When you and Sunghoon rounded a corner of the warehouse and reached the low wall the both of you climbed over to begin this mission in the first place, you were barely standing.
Before you could even think to turn and check back on those chasing you, Sunghoon picked you up and practically tossed you over the edge, landing in the dirt below with a disgruntled expression.
You didn’t even get the time to yell at him as he grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet and sprinting away towards the car parked in the distance near some bushes shielding it.
When you piled into the car with him and he sped off, you finally let out a heavy breath of relief.
“That was so close wouldn’t you say?” You let out, shooting him a glance, only to find his eyes fixated straight ahead on the dark road as he ignored you.
You cleared your throat, the uneasy tension from earlier still vibrating in the air between you both and you were sure he was only more upset because the mission went downhill.
“Did you manage to get the documents?” You tried again.
He only grunted in response, using his free hand to reach into his jacket and pull out some folded documents before tossing them on to your lap without a word.
You stayed silent as you got his cue that he didn’t want to talk to you right now.
Really and truly he had every reason to be pissed and you knew that. That didn’t make you feel better though, if anything you got even more frustrated with him.
So instead, you went through the documents silently as he drove, refusing to look at him.
At least one thing went right for this mission.
And Sunghoon only clenched the steering wheel tighter with his fists in response.
You didn’t speak to Sunghoon for weeks since your first mission. And of course, you didn’t expect him to initiate conversation with you either.
Instead, you opted for passing him straight in hallways at AISA. Once, you tried to reach out to him to talk about what happened and apologize for that night, but he only kept his face straight and ignored you.
It definitely cut deep you were certain about that. You couldn’t fathom how he could hurt you this badly with his behavior and continue to act cold towards you.
Your friends told you to let it slide. That Sunghoon was always like that with people and he shouldn’t get to you. His friends often shot you sympathetic glances and apologetic smiles whenever you were around them.
Whenever you asked about how he’s come to behave like this, no one could answer you. Not even your own father.
As if everyone was keeping some secret from you that you didn’t deserve to know the truth about.
The situation only enraged you further, building up into something deep and painful to stop focusing on.
After almost a month had passed, with AISA having no new mission for you both and everyone ignoring the conflict between you and your partner - you decided to take matters into your own hands.
You noticed Sunghoon walking alone away from headquarters one late evening, the moonlight illuminating his toned figure.
He had his hands shoved into his pockets, his bag slung over over shoulder and his hair messed up slightly as he constantly ran his hand through it.
Seems someone had a stressful day.
You were a bit hesitant to approach him at first, unsure of if he would snap at you or even just ignore you like always.
But you took a deep breath, slowly trailing after him before yelling so he could hear in the distance, “Park Sunghoon!”
You could tell he froze up ahead, his footsteps pausing against the pavement but he didn’t turn around. You took it as your cue to speak with him, quickly increasing your pace to stand against him.
He began walking again and you followed beside him silently for a moment.
Eventually speaking up, you said, “I’m sorry for everything. Will you please let me explain and make things up for the sake of us being partners?”
Sunghoon didn’t look at you, his gaze at the path ahead. Streetlights illuminated the serious expression on his face as if he was contemplating your request.
You kept an eye on him for any subtle signs and once he nodded, you continued, “I know the way I behaved that night was reckless and uncalled for as a specially trained agent for AISA. I got so caught up with the way I talked to you and I thought you were offended which is why I tried to look for you when you weren’t answering me and-”
“I didn’t care,” he cut you off simply, making you pause with your short rant.
“Oh.” You blinked, processing his words.
You started again, brushing off his nonchalant comment, “Regardless I still want to apologize. It was insensitive of me to insult you like that, especially when we were supposed to be working together on our first mission as partners.”
When Sunghoon didn’t respond, the silence stretched between you two.
Taking it as a signal to just keep going you proceeded to keep speaking, “Also I know you’re probably extremely pissed about the fact that I ended up getting us caught. I wasn’t thinking straight and I really was just full of guilt and regret for the way I spoke to you. I just really wanted to help you and to make this mission worth it but you just wanted to do everything yourself and I found it so unfair and-”
You kept ranting, not hearing when Sunghoon tried to stop you, “Y/N-”
You didn’t listen, still blabbering on, “And I was being so stupid because I had my gun the entire time and I just ended up all rattled and ridiculous that I couldn’t think straight. Plus on top of that-”
“Y/N.” Sunghoon stopped walking, turning to face you with a stern expression.
You were so caught up in making things right with him that you didn’t even realize he was walking on your left side near the road the entire time, when you could’ve sworn he was on your right when you first joined him.
You immediately shut up, stopping as well as you looked up at him with a sheepish expression, “Sorry.”
Sunghoon let out a heavy exhale, looking anywhere but at you as he responded, “I don’t have a problem with you. And I’m not upset at you in any way either.”
You stared up at him as if you were seeing seven heads on his body or something.
“What?” He demanded coldly, crossing his arms.
You shook your head, “Nothing. Nothing it’s fine. You really mean that? You forgave me and never had an issue with me this whole time?”
Sunghoon simply nodded.
“So why you were ignoring me for weeks now?” You prodded, a small pout on your lips.
He shrugged lightly, “I just didn’t see the need to talk to you apart from missions. I wasn’t ignoring you.”
You spluttered, clearly confused, “But your attitude. Your friends. Your glares. They-”
“You’re overthinking it,” he interrupted firmly.
“I don’t hate you but I don’t like you at the same time. We’re just acquaintances working as mission partners aren’t we?” He asked, moving to continue walking again.
“Also, let’s train together from now on. I’ll organize weekly training sessions for us. It’ll help with your distracting persona.”
You didn’t even get the chance to answer as he called out without turning around, “Let me walk you home.”
You stood there, rooted to the spot for a solid minute before hastily jogging to catch up with him. Your mind racing at the unanswered questions and confused thoughts in your head.
Training sessions with Sunghoon were not something you expected. Let alone the way he acted while assisting and working with you.
You weren’t exactly sure how or why he softened up. Maybe it was your desperate apology that night? Or the way you were finally learning to respect his boundaries and give him space if you must?
You couldn’t be certain.
All you knew was that Sunghoon were definitely being nicer.
And you found that pretty strange.
He offers to improve your techniques. Teaching you tips and tricks that you never learnt when you were training for the first time with actual, professional instructors.
You two eventually learned to work extremely well together too. Managing to keep a seamless flow between each other.
From warm-up drills and partner rotation, to room-clearing drills and cover-to-cover movement. Even with lie detection drills and role-play interrogation or crowd blending and shadowing drill.
You and Sunghoon worked together for days on end each week, navigating through your partnership dynamics and learning to understand and communicate with each other better.
Things got rather tense in a completely different way between you two one particular evening.
You were practicing the pinned-to-the-floor scenario with Sunghoon. Attempting to escape his mounted hold within a certain timeframe and manage to fight back.
You two had been reviewing the various tactics and positions this could happen in all week.
But when the actual test was to be done, Sunghoon hovering over you and firmly pinning your resisting body to the ground, things took a complicated turn.
For a moment, it felt as if time had stopped. He had stiffened over you, feeling it in his grip. Your own eyes went wide as other irrelevant thoughts to the real reason for this moment surfaced in your mind.
You were staring up at him, a bit flustered for what felt like an eternity. Him doing the same and you could’ve sworn you noticed something rather similar to hesitancy swirling in his darkened gaze.
It appeared as if both of you had forgotten what to do in the first place. Neither of you making a move to back off just yet. You didn’t bother to fight back and Sunghoon didn’t proceed to hold you any tighter.
It wasn’t until the 2 minute timer went off - a resounding alarm shrieking in both your ears, did you both snap back to reality. With him clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly as he pulled away from you as if burnt while you pushed him off of you and hastily sat up to dust your clothes.
You looked anywhere but at him, moving to busy yourself with a text you received from one of your friends as you checked your phone.
Sunghoon was hovering nearby, rubbing the back of his neck as he pretended to tidy up things in the training room that weren’t even touched in the first place.
Eventually, the silence seeming to burn Sunghoon, he asked carefully, “Do you want us to go get coffee? We can practice a bit more later after or head home if you want.”
You lifted your gaze from your phone, surprised he was making an attempt to socialize and interact with you for something other than business and you nodded slowly, “Okay.”
When you both waltzed into the cafe around the block from AISA - that was thankfully open and still pretty busy for such late hours of the evening before closing time, you and Sunghoon waited in line for your turn to order together.
“Good evening. What can I get you both tonight?” A friendly barista asked with a small smile on her face.
“A black coffee please,” Sunghoon replied, his eyes on the menu board hanging above the counter before focusing on you, waiting for you to order for yourself.
“I’ll have an iced vanilla latte please,” you responded warmly.
The barista inputted the information on the screen in front of her, printing your bill and handing it to Sunghoon, “Alright. There you go.”
You were about to reach into your purse to pay for your drink but Sunghoon beat you to it. He already had his wallet out, handing some spare change he had left over to cover the bill.
You blinked the sight before you, ready to protest, “I could’ve paid for myself you know-”
“No need.” He cut you off easily, gazing straight ahead at the barista while she counted the money.
She had a knowing smile on her lips once she confirmed the payment, “Thank you. Feel free to have a seat while waiting for your orders.”
You were still a bit pouty about Sunghoon paying for you as you turned to find a table, when she called out lightly, “Oh I almost forgot. What name should the order be for?”
You opened your mouth to tell her your name but Sunghoon’s deep voice voiced out instead, “Sunghoon. Call Sunghoon for both.”
You blinked rapidly at Sunghoon, trying to process his behavior while the barista only shrugged at you, biting back a laugh as she moved to give your orders to another worker to prepare.
When you and Sunghoon took seats in a booth opposite each other at the corner of the cafe, you stared at him with narrowed eyes, “What was that all about?”
He looked around, refusing to make eye contact with you, “What?”
You sighed, “Just now at the agency, Sunghoon.”
He shrugged lightly, “Nothing.”
You frowned slightly, “Don’t give me that.”
“It’s nothing. Just basic manners.” He responded simply.
You rolled your eyes, realizing he wouldn’t push further and decided to pursue another topic instead, “You hesitated. Why?”
By the way Sunghoon tensed up just slightly and yes you noticed it, you figured he knew exactly what you were talking about.
He finally looked at you, that same expressionless and distant gaze in his eyes as he raised his eyebrows, “With what?”
You let out a soft breath, ready to explain when the barista called out within the cafe, “Orders for Sunghoon ready!”
You took a deep breath when he left to collect your drinks, Sunghoon returning a few minutes later with both your coffees along with a straw for you and napkins.
You rose to your feet, collecting everything for you with a quiet “Thanks” before you two made your way out of the cafe, walking back to AISA.
You sipped your latte, the refreshing taste of the beverage making you feel a bit better as you tried again, “I was talking about during our training session before this. You hesitated when you pinned me down. I just want to know why.”
Sunghoon took a sip of his coffee, while you tried to piece together how he could enjoy such a bitter taste and he answered quickly, “Don’t say it like that.”
You blinked, asking innocently even though you knew exactly what he meant, “Like what?”
He didn’t respond, making you roll your eyes as you sipped your drink again, a small smile tugging at your lips as you learnt his conduct well by now.
“Thanks for the coffee by the way. I don’t think I thanked you before. I appreciate it.” Your voice was low, eyes on the stars above that littered the night sky as you two walked towards the tall, skyscraper that contained the headquarters of AISA.
He just hummed slightly in response, taking a long drink of his own coffee as you two entered through the revolving doors together.
“Iced vanilla latte,” Sunghoon’s familiar voice made you snap your gaze up to him, surprised at the gesture as he handed you the drink.
It appeared that he left after another training session you both had just now and brought coffee for you two. He was holding a paper cup of his usual black coffee as well.
You sat up on the sticky mat you were laying on.
“Oh. Thank you. You remembered,” you accepted the drink gratefully, letting out a sigh of content as you took a sip.
He moved to sit beside you, letting out a quiet groan as he stretched, downing the rest of his coffee with a long chug.
Startled you asked, “That exhausted?”
He nodded and you could’ve sworn you saw the corners of his lips tug upward just slightly for a moment.
You two sat in awkward silence for a moment, with you sipping your latte and Sunghoon finishing his coffee, crushing the paper cup when he was done.
“You’ve improved a lot since we started training,” he commented lightly.
You scoffed lightly, a quiet smile on your lips, “I wasn’t a completely useless agent you know. I trained before being partnered with you.”
He let out a quiet laugh of disbelief, making you roll your eyes, “Yeah well you didn’t really behave like a trained agent if I do say so myself.”
You huffed, “I wasn’t that bad I swear.”
Sunghoon shook his head, a wider smile on his lips now, “Yeah sure. Whatever you say.”
He continued and you were positive he was joking as he warmed up to you now, “Maybe you managed to slack off on training because your father is the great Director Lee.”
You bubbled out a quiet laugh, “If anything I had to go through tougher sessions and scrutiny because of him.”
Sunghoon chuckled lightly, watching you sip your latte, “Why’d you become an agent? Because of him?”
You nodded, “Somewhat. I really admired the way he carried himself because he was a Director you know?”
He nodded in understanding, listening silently as you kept going.
“He didn’t want me to at first. Both him and my mom were scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle how demanding this kind of work was. But I was determined to follow in his footsteps.”
Sunghoon played with the crumpled cup in his hand as he paid attention to you.
“I think one of the main reasons why I acted so rationally that night on our first mission was because I thought I was disappointing them. Being on bad terms with my partner and barely contributing.”
“You were terrified of losing the one opportunity you were getting,” he finished for you.
You nodded, an embarrassed smile on your face.
“Then I should let him know that you’re doing pretty well for a newbie,” he responded lightly.
You paused mid-sip, “You’d do that for me?”
He shrugged, resting his arms on his knees as he kept looking at you.
“Any hobbies?” He suddenly asked.
“What?” You looked at him confused, his intense stare weighing heavily on you.
“You heard me.”
“Photography.” You answered simply.
That answer seemed to surprise me, “Really? A rather far cry from becoming an agent if you ask me.”
You let out a knowing laugh, nodding as you finished your latte, “It’s a rather calming and fun hobby if you ask me.”
“What about you?” You added.
“Working out.” He answered nonchalantly.
You chuckled lightly, “You do that all the time. You’re a government agent for God’s sake.”
He let out a soft laugh - the sound surprising both you and him, though he tried not to show it, “Alright fine.”
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, fiddling with the crumpled cup in his hand.
“Figure skating.”
You lifted your head up to meet his gaze, eyes wide, “Seriously?”
He freezes, realizing he was treading on deep ground with you as he slowly nodded.
You stared at him with pure shock.
“You did ice skating?” You asked, clearly appalled.
Sunghoon seemed to relax and find amusement in your astonishment as he nodded, relenting calmly.
“Not much now. But when I was younger as a child growing up. It was a hobby I couldn’t get enough of.”
You raised your eyebrows, “Did you do it professionally then?”
He nodded, a fond look in his eyes as he stared at the floor ahead of him, recalling his past, “Mhm. I was rather good at it too.”
“Oh don’t boast now,” you joked as you both laughed.
“Why’d you quit?” You prodded, making him sober up slightly.
Sunghoon let out a heavy sigh, “Sort of just ended up getting caught in life I suppose. Got this opportunity at AISA and decided to take it.”
“Do you miss it? Ice skating?” You asked thoughtfully.
He nodded.
“I do yeah. Sometimes I think about what life would be if I just stuck to that instead.”
You hummed, “Do you still practice sometimes?”
He shook his head, “Not really. I haven’t had the time.”
“And even if I did, I’m either too exhausted or too lazy,” he added, making you nod in understanding.
You flashed him a sympathetic smile as he rose to his feet, moving to the trash bin in the training room to throw away his empty cup.
“Ready to keep going?” He asked, changing the topic.
You nodded, following suit as you tossed your own empty latte cup into the bin.
You and Sunghoon seemed to be bonding rather well as the months passed.
On missions, things flowed effortlessly between you two. No mishaps or mistakes occurring as you two succeeded on multiple missions further since.
Sunghoon was warming up considerably well to you too, often engaging in light conversation out of work with you - even if he didn’t speak much, or inviting you to chill with him in the lounge.
One lazy afternoon, you two were playing a game of chess together, the lounge peaceful and calm as most agents were out on missions or in their offices and workrooms for training.
You and Sunghoon were playing a game of chess together in the lounge one lazy afternoon.
The recent mission you two had from three days ago should’ve been over.
You and Sunghoon had slipped into Helix Tower’s upper floors, retrieved the encrypted drive and walked out clean. No alarms. No tails. No signs of compromise.
Just justice from a toxic and corrupt institution.
But the mistake was already planted - a tiny oversight Sunghoon nor you didn’t catch.
A micro-tracker embedded in the drive casing.
He didn’t see it. You didn’t see it. And the lab hadn’t scanned it for the evidence within just yet.
And now the consequences were crashing down around the agency.
It started with a loud alarm. Blaring lightly at first before increasing in sound and intensifying the alertness and energy within the agency.
You and Sunghoon leaped to your feet, chess game abandoned with guns at the ready - aimed at the lounge door.
The entire skyscraper lit up in red as enemy infiltration teams - most likely from Helix Tower, breached the lower levels, riding the tracker’s signal straight into AISA’s supposedly impenetrable headquarters.
Sunghoon reacted before anyone else could properly understand what was happening.
He grabbed your wrist, pulling you behind him as the reinforced glass walls sealed shut. AISA going into complete lockdown - trapping both agents and enemies inside.
He didn’t care about protocol. He didn’t care about shouts reverberating around him from other agents or AISA’s specialized built-in AI system calmly explaining protocol and orders that must be followed in order to terminate the enemies.
Sunghoon only cares about one thing: you.
Every corridor you moved through, he cleared first. Every blind corner, he shielded you with his body. When the elevators were overridden and hostile operatives flooded the 22nd floor, he shoved you into a maintenance shaft and took the brunt of the fight alone, refusing to let a single threat get close.
He didn’t tell you the truth until you reached the emergency command deck.
“Fuck it’s all my fault,” he said, voice low, breath sharp.
“They’re here because of me. They have to be. I didn’t check the drive properly when we got it. They’re after us because of that mistake.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to piece everything together, “What? Is this because of the drive?”
He nodded, gunshots echoing from your surroundings.
“That’s not your fault Sunghoon. Then both of us would have to be blamed because I didn’t think about checking it out thoroughly either.”
Sunghoon didn’t answer you and you could’ve sworn the typically calm Park Sunghoon appeared to be agitated.
Screams and yells making you flinch slightly. Thankfully, reinforcements prepared for situations such as this had everything covered.
Well, so you both hoped.
You weren’t captured. You weren’t even grazed.
Because Sunghoon fought like a man trying to rewrite fate - desperate, precise, relentless.
Even as AISA scrambled to regain control of the skyscraper, he stayed by your side - jaw tight, eyes scanning every shadow.
He wouldn’t let you out of arm’s reach, even if you were desperate to help and even protect your father.
Especially not after realizing the enemy had been on both your trails for days because of him.
And in all the chaos - alarms blaring, agents shouting, enemies still inside the building - one thing became painfully clear:
Sunghoon would burn the entire skyscraper down before he let anyone touch you.
A week had passed since the infiltration at AISA, but you felt extremely anxious and worried still.
The enemies were executed and Helix Towers ended up being destroyed financially and physically as a company with help from the government.
The agency was safe.
But why did that only make you see Sunghoon less and less as the days went by?
No agent was killed in the incident and most barely injured due to how well-trained they were.
Everything felt perfectly normal now.
But you could’ve sworn you hadn’t seen Sunghoon in AISA since. He barely even texted these days as well, unless you started conversation.
It made something uneasy well up inside you, nagging at your brain and when you couldn’t take it any longer, you paid your dad a visit for answers.
“I thought you knew about what Sunghoon did,” Director Lee said calmly, swiveling around in his desk chair to face you.
You frowned, clearly puzzled, “Is this about the encrypted drive?”
Lee exhaled heavily, shaking his head as he grabbed a file from one of his desk drawers, handing it over for you, “No not that.”
He gestured for you to read the documents, his voice quiet, almost apologetic.
“Sweetheart, Sunghoon sent in his resignation letter.”
Your heart dropped, eyes scanning the words of Sunghoon’s letter with your mind spiraling.
“You didn’t process it yet right?” You choked out, emotion catching in your tone.
Your father sensed it but didn’t say anything as he shook his head, “Not yet, no.”
You dropped the file back on his desk, already turning to leave, “Then I need to talk to him.”
When you arrived at Sunghoon’s familiar apartment complex, you didn’t even bother to wait on the elevator, hurrying up the emergency staircase with heaving breaths to his floor.
You pounded on the door anxiously, hands on your knees as you breathed raggedly, desperation clouding your head more than anything.
When the door opened you straightened up, not hesitating to land a harsh slap across his cheek.
You stared angrily up at a stunned Sunghoon, his hand on his now red cheek with his head tilted to the side, still frozen in place.
“So that’s it huh?” You heaved, hands on your hips.
Sunghoon seemed to compose himself, snapping his gaze down at you, “What was that for?”
“The same thing I said at the beginning to you. For being an insufferable asshole.”
Sunghoon exhaled softly, starting, “If this is about the resignation letter-”
“Yes it’s damn well about the fucking letter!” You snapped back, startling him when you cut him off.
“What’s wrong with you? Out of the blues just like that? You didn’t even think to tell me! Acting like everything was perfectly fine while I thought you were just sick or something!”
“Y/N wait- just listen-”
But you didn’t want to hear it, raising your voice at him now, “Was it fun?! Acting like you actually cared for me? Wasting my time when we were finally finding solid ground to work on together?”
Sunghoon fell silent at your words and you could see the guilt surfacing in his eyes.
“You know what your problem is, Park Sunghoon?” You asked, tears welling up in your eyes as you seethed at him.
“You’re nothing but a fucking coward.” Your voice broke, making him flinch slightly.
“A single mistake and you close up and leave like some fool! Leaving other people in the dust to pick up behind you and move on and it’s absolutely sick!”
He didn’t say anything. How could he? You were certain your words stung.
You didn’t say another word, turning to leave a downcast and sullen Sunghoon behind with his gaze on his feet and his fists clenched tightly at his sides.
Restraining himself so he wouldn’t chase after you.
You took a month’s leave from the agency.
Your father respected your decision and granted your request without questioning. Though he and your mother never stopped checking on you every day since.
He had relayed to you recently that Sunghoon had reached out to him - to hold back on processing the resignation letter and that he’ll just take some time off instead for his health.
You were relieved if anything, but still angry and broken inside. Feeling utterly betrayed by the one you thought was your close partner now.
He didn’t reach out to you and you didn’t reach out to him. You didn’t really communicate much with anyone as a matter of fact, letting yourself fall into a deep oblivion of despair and hurt that you couldn’t shake off.
And Sunghoon? He was feeling the same thing, if not even more miserable for the way he treated you.
His past burdened him, weighing heavily in his chest since the moment he lost his previous partner all those months back.
It was the only reason he even thought to resign from AISA since the infiltration. The flashbacks, guilt, regret and anger all directed towards himself casting a difficult burden to navigate through life with.
When almost a month had passed since that evening outside his apartment, he decided he couldn’t take it anymore.
All the sleepless nights, the way his heart ached severely deep in his chest, the way his body refused to cooperate with him in terms of his appetite and the constant overthinking that made his thoughts spiral in a way no pill could calm.
He had to see you.
And that was how the infamous Park Sunghoon ended up on his knees at your doorstep.
He was a sobbing mess by your feet when you opened your apartment door, confusion and bewilderment mingling on your face as you watched him.
When he caught sight of you, he hastily rose to his feet and gripped your shoulders, crushing you against him as he cried weakly against the crook of your neck.
You didn’t push him away. How could you?
Kicking the door shut, you both slowly walked towards a couch on your living room, plopping down on it while he lay his head on your lap, bawling even harder against your thighs.
You were in a state of complete shock, tears pooling up into your own eyes at the sounds of his painful sobs and choked whimpers.
You had genuinely never seen Sunghoon in such a state before. And the thought unnerved you because if he was this emotional and expressive to you at the moment, then your disagreement must have cut really deep at something within him.
You opted for just stroking his hair instead to calm him down, which was rather soft to the touch much to your astonishment.
He was gripping your legs tightly, refusing to let go as his sobs quietened.
Eventually, after burying his face against your skin multiple times - staining them with his tears, he finally stopped crying and moved to lay on his back, facing you with a small pout that made your heart squeeze.
He cleared his throat, the typical neutral expression and careful distance on his face and tone non-existent now as he spoke to you, voice hoarse raspy from crying.
“I’m sorry.” He started off simply.
At first you thought that was all he was going to say - given the long pause afterwards, but as you opened your mouth to speak, he raised his hand signaling that he wanted to continue without your input just yet.
“Let me finish.”
You nodded, pursing your lips slightly as you rubbed at your teary eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie.
“You were right. I am a coward. Have been for years. And I want to explain to you why I’m like that.”
He hesitated, clearly still a bit uncertain about opening up to you, but he knew if he wanted to be completely honest with you that he’d have to be vulnerable.
“I don’t usually talk about this. So if I end up reacting badly about it, forgive me. But I need you to hear me out okay? Please.”
When you nodded, signaling him to keep going, he cleared his throat, staring up at the ceiling as he continued.
“Before you I had another partner. Her name was Seo Jia. If anything, she was more like a little sister to me. Enthusiastic and talkative. Much more than you I’d say.”
A fond smile played on his lips, as if he was reliving memories of this partner of his.
He eventually sobered up, something resembling pain reflecting in his dark eyes, “We were younger and reckless at the time. Used to skip training sessions to play video games instead or fool around with our friends. And we never took our missions seriously.”
“We were too overconfident. And that led to both our downfalls. Succeeding in missions back to back made our heads swell. And on one particular mission, where we were just eager to get back to headquarters for a round before heading home, we had a choice to make.”
Sunghoon let out a deep exhale, squeezing his eyes shut as if the memory made him miserable while you kept stroking his hair.
“We had two options after being trapped in an abandoned factory: hold position and wait for backup or sprint across open ground to reach the extraction van.”
He fiddled with his hoodie silently before proceeding to explain, “I wanted to sprint. Leave her there for backup while I scoured the area just in case. But she didn’t listen to me. She was stubborn like that you know and she just followed after me.”
He let out a short laugh, though it lacked actual amusement.
“Halfway across, a sniper caught her clean in the ribs. We didn’t even notice him on a building nearby. And she just-”
He sniffled, running a hand over his face as his voice broke, the tears resurfacing, “I managed to catch her and she collapsed against me. I didn’t even care about if he caught me right then and there I would’ve died with her if I had to.”
He inhaled sharply, trying his hardest not to cry, “He wanted me to suffer though. Didn’t shoot me. But I knew he was watching as I begged her to stay awake. As I tried my best to stop the bleeding even as it soaked my gloves while waiting for backup to arrive.”
“But it was too late. She was already gone.” His voice was quiet now, barely above a whisper as he stared blankly up at the ceiling.
You didn’t know what to say at first, rendered speechless by the truth behind Sunghoon’s painful past. But before you could even think to speak again this time he kept going, the pain and vulnerability in his tone making you stop your sentence short.
“Sunghoon-”
“I can’t lose you Y/N,” he rasped out, voice cracking as his eyes fell on to your stunned facial expression.
“After what happened at AISA. When we realized it was a micro-tracker that I missed the entire time. I genuinely thought I would have lost you too. And if-”
He almost choked over his own words so he took a pause before he kept going, “if breaking protocol to find and kill those bastards myself without letting them see the light of day again was the only way to keep you safe? You’d be damn sure that I’d do that just so that I know you’ll stay alive.”
He moved to sit up, cupping your face with trembling veiny hands as his gaze bore into yours - a mixture of desperation and fear as he pleaded.
“Please Y/N. Just- just promise me I won’t lose you okay? I can’t- I just can’t because I don’t know how I’d take it and I’d-”
He didn’t get the chance to finish his small rant as you immediately closed the distance between you two, kissing him heatedly.
Sunghoon reciprocated with an eagerness you didn’t know he had within him - gripping your cheeks tighter as his lips fell into sync with yours, his eyes squeezing shut.
He didn’t waste time, after breaking the kiss he whispered huskily against your swollen, parted lips, “Sit on me.”
You widened your eyes, stunned but clearly getting the message of what he wanted, out of breath as you asked, “What?”
Sunghoon had his arms tightly around you, squeezing you in his hold as he repeated firmly, “I want you to sit on my face. Let me eat you out. Please.”
You searched his eyes, noticing the darkened and pleading turmoil within as you hesitated, “Are you sure? I- I don’t know-”
He tilted your chin up with his fingers, his voice softer now, “It’ll feel so good angel I promise. Please. I know what I’m doing. And I can’t hurt you. You know I’d never.”
You frowned slightly, “But what if I hurt you? Like suffocate you or something and-”
“You won’t.” He cut off firmly, his tone bordering on begging now, “You won’t I swear. Just do it.”
Eventually, you relented with a slow nod, giving in and Sunghoon immediately moved to lay back on the couch.
“Want me to direct you?” He pressed gently, eyes following your figure as you climbed on to his lap, straddling him there first.
You nodded, a bit timid that this was literally unfolding with your own agency partner that you so happened to kiss just now.
“Shorts off. I want to see you in your panties on my face.” He started slowly, willing to back off if you so much as showed any signs to.
You climbed off his lap, shrugging off your shorts. Your cheeks flushed at the way his eyes seemed to drink in the sight of your simple cotton panties plastered to your folds because of how turned on you already were.
“That wet for me already?” He teased, a hint of amusement in his tone as he laughed when you smacked his arm.
“It’s alright. It’s alright. I’m not complaining at all. Come here. Climb on to my face.”
He reached out for you, helping you on to him as he guided your body right where he wanted you.
You had your knees folded on either side of his head, his hair tickling your eyes as you hovered over his face, looking down at him.
And my God was it completely safe to say that he looked absolutely gorgeous like this.
Eyes full of lust and devotion gazing up at you as his fingers dug into your soft thighs, gripping you firmly so you’d be secure and steady on top of him.
“Ready?” He let out, voice softened with something tender as he waited for your confirmation.
You nodded, slowly sinking down on to his face at his gentle direction.
“Good girl- just like that- mm-” you could barely hear his soft murmur amongst the excitement in his tone, his words cutting off with a quiet groan as he felt you fully on top of him.
He inhaled the scent of your arousal sharply, his nose tickling your panties sticking temptingly to your folds as you let out a quiet gasp, feeling pretty much everything about Sunghoon’s face against your most sensitive part.
“Sunghoon-” you breathed out, trying to speak despite the overwhelming pleasure consuming your mind and body.
Sunghoon only let out a soft grunt in response, using his teeth to push the cotton aside and lick a small path up between your folds.
That made you spiral, fireworks erupting in your stomach as you let out an inaudible moan, head falling back as he used his hands to guide your hips forward against his face.
You took the hint, beginning to move your hips up into a slow grind against his mouth, nose bumping the front of your pussy as he began a pattern of licking and sucking at your clit.
He was unraveling your body by the minute with the way his mouth was working on you.
You let out a string of breathy moans and incoherent words, head spinning at the way he was eating you up, tongue teasing your entrance while your hips kept up that delicious grind against his face that only stimulated you further.
You had your head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut and lips parted as more and more unholy sounds left your mouth, barely able to grip the arm rest ahead of you to keep you grounded to reality.
Sunghoon was persistent, urging your hips to move faster against his face. His sharp nose constantly nudging your clit and making you see stars as his tongue prodded and poked your entrance before sinking between your pillowy walls.
You choked out his name in a desperate moan, unsure of how much more you could take, “H-hoon-”
He only moved you faster along his face, your soaked pussy rubbing against his nose and mouth in such a purely ecstatic way that you were certain you’d never felt anything so insanely good in your life since.
Your fingers dug into the tough fabric of the couch, moaning and whimpering out when you finally came - hips stilling on top of him and thighs trembling against his pulse roaring in his ears as you succumbed to the relief of your orgasm while swearing that you probably squirted on him from the way your body was so tense and shivering.
He helped you ride through it without a moment’s hesitation, kissing your drenched folds and lapping up your juices with unsatiated hunger.
You’d thought you’d get some rest, a chance to recover from your high but Sunghoon wasn’t having it.
He gently pulled you off his face, licking his face clean of your cum for as far as his tongue could reach.
“Oh we’re not done yet angel,” he rasped out against your ear, making you tremble even more despite the overstimulation your body was already feeling.
You let out a confused whimper in response and he only smirked at you, flipping you on to your stomach.
Pressing you flat into the couch he paused, stroking your hair and murmuring loud enough for you to hear, “You want me to stop just say so alright?”
You nodded, trying to crane your neck back to get a glimpse of him when you heard him unzipping his jeans but he only used his free hand to shove your face against a couch pillow.
“You’ll be my pretty angel and take me without a fuss right?” He leaned down, positioning himself against your ass as his fingers pulled your ruined panties down.
You nodded against the pillow, obliging easily as he let out a soft chuckle of satisfaction.
“That’s my good girl. I’ll show you just how much I love you alright?”
You didn’t even get the chance to nod or respond, as you felt the tip of his cock nudging against your folds, whining softly at the way his hands were roughly squeezing at your soft ass cheeks.
“Deep breath for me angel. In-” he whispered as he watched you inhale deeply, feeling how tense your body was still, “relax for me. And out- come on.”
You did as you were told, taking deep breaths at his instruction, barely feeling any pain as he pushed himself firmly into you.
You let out a loud gasp, feeling him deep inside you and pressed up between your squeezing walls as you tried to comprehend how large his cock actualmy was.
Sunghoon was running his fingers up and down your spine, massaging your back through your hoodie as he waited for you to adjust to him.
He had his head thrown back, trying his hardest to keep his restraint in check as he said through clenched teeth, “Fuck you’re squeezing me so tight angel.”
Your whimpers were muffled against the pillow, one hand planted on your shoulder to hold you steady as he began to move.
He was trying his best to be gentle - really he was. But with the way you were clenching so painfully tight around his cock? And the way your moans of his name and gasps of pleasure sounded as he repeatedly hit that sweet spot deep up in you? Sunghoon couldn’t help himself one bit.
Next thing you knew, he was pummeling into you, fingers gripping your hair to pull you up against him as you let out a choked out moan from the back of your throat.
You could barely claw at the pillow ahead of you, head thrown back against his shoulder as he gripped your hips, nails digging into your skin that you were sure would leave bruises as he rutted up into you from behind.
You were a moaning mess, slumped with your back against his chest as he held on to you, whispering filthily into your ear as your sinful sounds grew louder by the minute.
“You like this don’t you? Like me being all rough and merciless with you? Does it turn you on more my sweet angel?” He breathed into your ear with soft moans of his own, his head spinning from how good you felt around his cock.
You whimpered shamelessly in response, back arching slightly as his fingers slid under your hoodie, reaching up to grab and fondle your bare breasts - driving you crazier every second.
You were a babbling mess against him and he loved it. He loved every single minute of making you feel so good that you could barely comprehend anything around you.
And yes, Park Sunghoon had wanted to do this since the moment he saw your picture in your file all that time ago in Lee’s office.
He was determined to make sure he’d protect and take care of you regardless of the request your father made to him and primarily because of his interest in you from the initial beginning.
And as you lay there curled up against him on the couch, blankets draped over you both as you two recovered from your orgasms - Sunghoon only had one thing on his mind.
He held you securely against his chest as he stroked your hip, often pressing soft kisses to your temple or nose as he watched you sleep contentedly against him.
He was willing to reveal every single secret buried deep within him - if that was what it took for you to stay by his side and love him the same way he cherished you.
“True colors, true colors” - True Colors, The Weeknd
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