Whenever I see people quoting/referencing/parodying My Immortal itâs always one of the same four or five lines. You know the ones.
The iconic opening paragraph, âHi my name is Ebony Darkâness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair⊠(et cetera).â
âWHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!â
âI MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT⊠BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!â
âThen he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.â
âAnd Loopin was masticating to it!â
As great as those are, Iâd like to throw a spotlight on what I think are some of the underappreciated parts of this classic work of fanfiction.
Ebony puts blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk.
Enoby is canonically a weeaboo and speaks to her friends in Fangirl Japanese.
Harryâs scar is now a pentagram instead of a lightning bolt, so either he found some sort of spell to alter the appearance of the scar or he actually took the time to carve a pentagram into his forehead.
There is an OC named either Tom Riddle or Tom Rid who works at a âpunkgoffâ store in Hogsmeade and has absolutely nothing to do with Voldemort, he just happens to have the exact same name.
Tara somehow got Fred and George mixed up with Crabbe and Goyle.
The reason Snape doesnât like Harry in this fic is because Snape is Christian and Harry is a Satanist.
Marty McFly literally appears out of nowhere to help Enoby travel through âtimâ with his âtim machine.â
Chapter 11 ends with Hagrid singing along to âa gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.â
Voldemort inexplicably speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.
Voldemort wears high heels.
Draco has a flying black Mercedes-Benz and a black MCR broom.
Snape has a Dork Mark on his penis.
Speaking of penises, Draco is apparently âhung like a stallone.â I guess Tara is a Rambo fan?
The Hedwig/Voldemort sex scene, wherein Hedwig is a male human instead of a female owl, for some reason.
Dumbledore flies around on his broomstick while holding a loaf of rye bread. At least, thatâs what I think Tara meant by âSudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread.â
Oh yeah, and Dumbledore is an Avril Lavigne fanboy, because of course he is.
James Potterâs âgoffâ nickname is Samoro, because Tara erroneously believes this to be the masculine form of the name Samara.
Dracoâs singing voice is described as âa cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson.â
Taraâs brief feud with her editor Raven, as chronicled in the authorâs notes, may or may not have had something to do with Raven borrowing Taraâs sweater and not giving it back. IDK, itâs unclear.
Voldemort smokes a âgothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar.â
McGonagall has the best insults, like âhorny simpletonsâ and âmediocre duncesâ and probably some others Iâm forgetting.
Dobby only appears once in the entire fic and literally all he does is watch Snape and Lupin have sex, and then run away crying.
Sirius is referred to as Harryâs dogfather, and not gonna lie, even if it was a typo I think that is a genuinely clever pun.
The Hogwarts janitor may or may not be Chuck Norris.
Tara accurately predicted how Harry would defeat Voldemort in Deathly Hallows. No, really. ând den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111â
This line: âSnap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly.â
And this one: ââCrosio!â I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.â
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