An older millennial on Tumblr.

I'm not in the mood to shit 🦋 and piss 🌈 .

[iwashismommy]

I live my life how people see it. Nothing to hide and nothing to see. I know you still keep tabs on me, trying to find dirt on me or in your own delusional head I was a bad mom/parent. When all I did & do for is for him, yet you've succeeded in destroying him and his future as you molded him into YOU. I overcame cancer and it made me wake up to the real world where by FAMILY CAN and WILL HURT YOU. Surviving cancer made me see and realized I didn't fail him but YOU DID. You USED him to hurt me but what you fail to realize is KIFARAH is real. What you did to him, to me, it will always come back in all shapes or forms and it might not be to you but people around you. Continue to try to find me or be my silent follower, I've no dirt on me Allah SWT knows me inside out. So if we have to meet on the Plains of Mahsyar because I have never forgiven you or your family for having done me wrong; I will meet you and I will want that apology from you.

"Takkan aku maafkan salah silap atau halalkan makan minom kau dgn keluarga kau pada aku dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki baik di dunia atau di akhirat."

[iwashismommy]

So done here, for good. Moving back to Blogger, bye.

[iwashismommy]

Since 1948. It's affected me deeply since 7 October. The depravity, savagery, evil beyond human comprehension is sickening. I can't, I just can't anymore. Only thing I'm equipped with are prayers, prayers for my brothers and sisters in Gaza, may Allah SWT keep you safe, may those perished attain the highest in jannah..

Hasbunallah wa ni'mal-Wakil 😢💔

[iwashismommy]

Watching the movie 'Geostorm'. Looked like Mother Nature went berserk but it was because "Man Tried To Play God". I suppose that's how it is when the end is near, or when Yaummal Qiyaamah arrives. For when the end is near and it arrives, all I know is I love my son regardless and I can't change the past but I learned to move on from everything. Just not forgiving ONE son of a bitch though.

"Takkan, tak pernah aku maafkan segala salah silap dan dosa kau termasok keluarga kau pada aku, takkan aku halalkan makan minom dan hutang² kau termasok keluarga kau pada aku, dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki, baik di dunia atau dia akhirat. Kalau kita bertemu kelak di Padang Mahsyar, akan aku tuntut itu semua dari kau."

[iwashismommy]

Like a sister to me. Not by blood but by heart. "I sayang you kak macam kakak i dunia akhirat"... Those words uttered to me just now.

Aku ibarat anak yatim....

When a stranger can ❤️ you more than your own kin....

[iwashismommy]

"You reap what you sow."

That's all I can say.

[iwashismommy]

'Kifarah'. We don't have the concept of 'karma'. To those who hurt me in the past, know what's coming for you.

[iwashismommy]

'KIFARAH'. Suits you, meant for you and affects people around you. ESPECIALLY your family.

[iwashismommy]

Gaza - Hamas WAR. It's NOT a war, IT'S GENOCIDE.

Surah Al Isra was written as....

[iwashismommy]

Because mainstream media isn't showing so I've been seeing these everyday from my notifications on Al-Jazeera app on my handphone. It's heartbreaking 💔 and the only thing right where I'm from which I'm able to do is say prayers from my brothers and sisters in

[iwashismommy]

2024; I present the best version of myself 🫶🏼🫰🏼

[iwashismommy]

ICJ is BS. IYKYK, these happening around the world, the ummah feels, the ummah knows and our heart ❤️‍🩹💔 every moment and we the ummah knows it is nearing...

[iwashismommy]

This was on loop...

when my marriage failed

i fell outta love

my divorce was finalized

seven weeks

i fell in ❤️ for a 2nd time but

then he passed on 31/1/19

i was never meant for anyone but

❤️ knocked on my door for a 3rd time &

i left, never turn back to see

as i let go of everything but

MYSELF...

I'm good on my own.

[iwashismommy]

"Every champion was once a contender that never gave up."

Rocky Balboa

[iwashismommy]

My late Baba's sarong. It was the ONLY thing I wore with a tank top post op. It was the ONLY THING which still reminds me of him; my late dad. 2024 has so far been kind to me. Only thing I want to do besides work, is travel. Looking forward to July ⛱️

[iwashismommy]

I was there to visit my Baba. Told my Baba all the things that's happened to me, I got cancer and survived, what MAMA did to me and how THE FAVOURITE GRANDCHILD screwed up his life so bad. Praises to Allah SWT it was clear skies when I went. Had helped from two baiyas who cleared the overgrowths on Baba's grave and I put flower petals on it and poured water on the dried trimmed grass. I sobbed like a lost child while telling Baba all that and I asked for his forgiveness. Said Al-Fatiha and Yaasin, after which I kissed the tombstone and left. While walking away, I turned to look back. At the grave of a man who brought me up with tough love, never saying or rarely said he LOVES his kid but he did say he loves me for the last time before he passed. Missing someone who's passed is a different kind of grief, grief that not time will or can heal, a grief that is scarred but never shows and a grief that embeds into your heart forever. And 30 Jan is coming, I still miss you like how I lost you in 2019. You would've been 46 this year and we could've travelled together frequently. Or I would've been yours.. 💔And grief of your own flesh and blood did the unthinkable, THAT grief is more painful that losses I went through combined....

[iwashismommy]

I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor. FAMILY, BLOOD, KIN left me to deal with my 17cm stitches, morphine bag, drains with 4 tubes sticking out of me, cooked my own meals and no sane cancer patient would vacuum their house 16 days post op. ALL but ONE, who wasn't even KIN NOR KITH. SHE, helped me through my recovery, lift my moral support. Not even my FLESH AND BLOOD was able to do what she did. Oh yes my own flesh and blood 'sort of took care' of me for 5 days and he even disappeared for a night to go clubbing. When FAMILY do you dirty AF like that, you don't waste time demanding explanation or expect apologies. You LEAVE, BLOCK AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR LIVES. That's what I did since 5th November 2022......