I'm just a simple 20 year old girl, who's been through 2 serious heartbreaks. I created this blog about my first heartbreak, The first time I ever really did anything sexual with a guy was this time. Yet he only wanted FWB. being the hopeless Romantic I am felt like I had to give what I could to this guy. Well that never works he just used me never wanted a relationship with me. So I swore never again 1 year later I meet this guy, we've been together for 2 years and 4 months, And I found what love really was, I loved him more than my first heartbreak.... our relationship was fast in a way but slow as well. He and I were just best friends for the longest but he was single and I was single and we both loved each other as friend than he asked me to be his girlfriend Feb 14.2013 Jun 30.2014 he asked me to Marry him. I said yes... but our relationship took a turn for the worse, we got in this fight a bad fight and we were both arrested for a domestic. We than both became homeless, and that put a strain on our relationship... we weren't together but still were around each other all the time... Then this girl comes in starts talking to him... and within 2 weeks they were fooling around.... My heart was ripped apart... And I'm beating myself up cause I told myself never again!! Now there in a relationship, if you scroll through this blog you see how in love with him I was even before an actual relationship.... Even though there in a relationship he still fools around with me he still tells me he loves me, and misses me. My heart is shattered and I don't know if I can ever allow myself to open up to anyone else. I just don't even know what to do. with Him I'm so happy, without him I'm depressed.
I guess my question is, why would I not want to hang out with you. Your the first person that has been real. That I can talk to and be myself with except for my friend Danielle, so I guess I should say the first guy who is okay with not having sex. who understands a relationship is more than just sex.
way back when we first started hanging out if feels so long ago This was about 2 an half years ago...
Today is the start of the new year, I can't wait to see what the future holds for me. And this year I'm spending it with the man that I love. I can wait to see what the future holds for us.
I couldn't be more happy right now.
You said your goodbyes that new years day, I said my good byes just a year ago, couldn't let you go, My heart was hurting my heart was breaking. I told myself never again, but you have some sort of spell over me after. 3 years of no communication. Here I am in the same situation with you. I'm sad and depressed; you always knew the right words to force me into doing things I never wanted to do. I kept saying. Not tonight and maybe another time then you and your pushy ways convinced me into it. I said you used me I know you used me then why do I want to talk to you. I was the one who reached out first. Maybe hoping you've changed? I was completely wrong. I'm the bad person if I don't do what you've asked I mean for God sakes You asked politely. The man who's in my life left angry at me; told myself I was going to start to do better but this bottle of vodka is on my bed side, just drink my sorrows away that seems right. Seems like thats the better choice tonight. I wish I could just vanish instead of feeling this way. I thought I was over you. This BLOG IS ABOUT HOW YOU HURT ME CAUSE I DIDN'T WAIT AND I NEVER WANTED TO FEEL THIS. I want Jordan here. He'd get upset with me and ask me why I'm putting up with his shit. God I don't know what to do I feel like a failure. I want to please you but I fail..
just have this urge to cry my eyes out and I can't. I don't even have my own room to just cry my self to sleep. :(((
Hate my life, Hate my self, just wanting to die.
So many suicidal thoughts running threw my head, which is sad I just turn 19 less then 24 hours ago, the night before my birthday I was crying and almost wrecked my car on purpose. It's like no one cares. no one hears me screaming for help. I want this saddness to end. and it won't It never ends!!!
I need help; seriously!
This guy(my best friend) I love him he loves me. He tells me he would do anything to see me smile, he knows one day he'll propose to me... he tells me that i'm the one who's been there for him. if it weren't for me he'd killed himself a long time ago....
If he feels this way why won't he date me (were not sleeping together) so it's not like he's using me.
Ughh just don't know please give me some advice!
Damn, Damn, Damn what I'd do to have you near, near,
I never wanna let go, I just want to let you know, I never want to let go.
Damn, Damn, Damn What I'd do to have you here, I'd do to have you near
Took me two years to not miss you, took me several months not to text you It took me several months not to cry when you stopped talking to me. I took me one text back from you to realize you were just a jerk. I just wish I realized sooner you were just using me. Do I still miss you after 2 years and one month, yes. Do I want you back.. HELL NO! Funny though your mom still talks to me and encourages me, and complements me. funny how that works.
romaincrisis
areudirty
ellievsbear
dailybridgerton
