So, I watched this video yesterday, and it prompted me to reflect on my own experience with BL anime (and BL in general I suppose). For the record, BL is short for Boys' Love.
I was introduced to BL by a friend of mine, before I even became a teenager. We'd read fanfictions on real people where they were romantically involved. Eventually, I'd go on to write them too. Later on, we met anime. That was around 2012 in my case. The only difference that made at first was that the characters in the fics I wrote were no longer real people, but fictional characters. I am not proud of the real-people-era of my writing and would rather forget about it, but that's a part of my story too.
Anyway, after discovering anime, my friend and I discovered BL anime. I was initially limited to what was dubbed, which gave me two series to choose from, Gravitation and Loveless. I don't remember Gravitation much anymore. It was a music anime and the dubbing was poor. But I have a funny feeling that the relationship portrayed wasn't in any way healthy. As for Loveless? Well, the battle system was interesting, but anything else, from the fact that the uke (submissive) was 12 and the seme (dominant) was at least 18 years old to all the things that happened between them, was very uncomfortable to watch.
Then I began watching subbed stuff, starting with Sekaiichi Hatsukoi and later going on to Junjo Romantica. For the record, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi is the spin-off to Junjo Romantica. This is a whole other can of worms. Junjo Romantica has two relationship with a terrible age gap, Uke 18 and Seme 28 in one pair and Uke 17 and Seme 35 in another. Not to mention that sexual assault takes place in both of them (which I didn't even remember until that video linked above). The former of the two also has an unhealthy power dynamic of the seme being the landlord and the uke being the tennant, and unable to escape. The third relationship in that series seems healthier. The age gap isn't that big (uke is 29 and seme is 24-5 I believe) and there is no problematic power dynamic. In Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, it seems better. There is still a lack of balance in the power dynamic. In the leading couple, the uke is the employee and the seme is the boss, but the age gap is small and leaving the relationship doesn't have consequences as such. The second is probably the healthiest in terms of power dynamic, except the fact that the uke has no life skills and relies on the seme to take care of him. But there is no age gap (both being 29), and neither of them would lose their livelyhood should they decide to split. The last pair has quite the age gap (uke is 31 and seme is 21), but they have independant lives. However, it has to be mentioned that all relationships in both these series suffer from jealousy. The amountvaries a little, and some is with reason, but the amount is big and what they do with it is not good.
The problem with that series is that even if bad things happen, it's never addressed as unhealthy. I remember reading that the seme in the 29-year-old couple in Sekaiichi Hatsukoi assaulted the uke in the manga adaptation, and was horrified. It didn't happen in the original light novel or the anime adaptation. I was also never comfortable with the larger age gaps. The larger the gap, the higher my discomfort would be. Even now, I don't feel comfortable about those relationships. But there were so many of the other red flags that I didn't recognize when I watched the series.
I have seen BL with many healthy and unhealthy relationships since then. Super Lovers is a very good example of another unhealthy relationship dynamic, and I still don't know how I got through the first season. By the time I started watching the second, the discomfort became too much and I stopped. It wasn't just the age gap. It was also the fact that the two leads were acting like siblings if they weren't lovers, and there is only one pair of siblings where I find myself perfectly fine shipping them. Who's that? Only Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin from Ouran High School Host Club. I can't explain why, and I'm not sure anymore if it's not just their sibling dynamic I love to bits, but back then, I liked it.
I think modern BL has gotten better at making healthier relationships. Given did a good job, and Tadaima Okaeri also portray some relationship dynamics that seem healthy to me. There are even some healthy looking age-gap relationships like in My Happy Marriage, where she is 18 and he is 28. But maybe I'm not the best judge of what's a healthy relationship and what's not. I think a part of my mind sort of knows some of it, but I don't know.
It surprises me what I used to consume without thinking much of it. Whether it was good for me or not is debatable. I can't say what consequences it has had, but it's a relief to know that BL can portray healthier relationships.
I'm definitely not going to stop writing BL fanfictions (did you think I would go that far?). As far as I know, none of them contain anything problematic, and I'm going to either keep it that way, or make it clear that what I portray is not okay, at least to my best ability.
And now, I'd better go look for some more Japanese sources for my bachelors thesis and stop wasting time reflecting on all the BL inmy life.
