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noise dept.
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Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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@jakesterlingistrans
pinned post yay
hello my name is JAKESTERLINGISTRANS
my pronouns are he him and some others but mostly those ones ok. this is NOT a kin blog this is a fan blog ok
the music freaks. the end
jake steling is trans gender and bisexual and autistic and he is in t4ts with hailey. ok? they are straight yuri do you understand
i have so many head canos you dont even KNOW .ill probbaly post about most of them eventually
img src: x | x
back on my bs have the greasy boys
You'll break your back to make me feel again
Suffocate to make me breathe again
💙Navy Blue💙
*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+
Synopsis: To celebrate the last week of Summer vacation, Jake and Drew decide to go on a late night drive together.
A/N: Tried something new with this one, hope it’s alright. I love Nightly and I feel like Jake would also adore their music so I just had to kinda shove it in there. Also this one takes place just before the start of Junior year, aka just before the start of TMF. (Might go back and add more between this time period of dating Zoey and summer vacation, idk.) (Also fun fact to anyone invested I think this is the last time on this timeline Drew feels joy so-)
*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+
Drew put the car into park, and glanced up towards the driveway to see Jake running across the pavement of meet him. He had to tilt his head slightly as Jake waved to him through the window. He didn’t need Jake seeing the stupid grin that must’ve been there.
The two had been planning this for weeks now: A late night drive, just the two of them, to celebrate the last week of summer vacation.
“Hey!” Jake greeted as he opened the car door. Drew gave a short wave, and the blonde threw himself into the passenger's seat, buckling himself in before pulling out his phone. “So- I may or may not have made a playlist for this.”
And the idea of Jake putting so much thought into this evening was enough to give Drew butterflies.
“Mind if I-”
“As long as you don’t play J-Pop or whatever the hell Henry listens to.” Drew told him, and Jake chuckled.
“No, don’t worry, I won’t.”
After a few seconds of messing around with the Bluetooth feature, Jake was able to connect his phone to Drew’s car.
“Did you ever think of where you wanted to go, by the way?” Drew asked as Jake began scrolling through his playlists. The blonde paused.
“Heh, nope.” Drew sighed. He should’ve known.
“Guess it’s up to the road, then,” He said. “You ready to go?” Jake nodded, and as Drew shifted the car into drive, Jake started the playlist.
Everywhere I look there’s only shades of you…
No matter what I do, you’re my navy blue…
“You really put a love song in this playlist?” Drew questioned, only to pause when he realized what he just said.
…Jake put a love song in our drive list?!
…Oh, he was not about to overthink this while he was driving. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind.
The sound of Jake’s sheepish laugh pulled him back to reality, and Drew tilted his head to steal a quick glance.
“I know, I know. Not really your thing. But I found these guys a little while ago, and I thought their music would be perfect for a late-night drive!” He explained. “But, you can skip it if you want, I don’t mind.” Drew nodded as he turned out of Jake’s neighborhood, yet made no efforts to switch the song.
I think about you alone in my room…
When the sun goes down…
Drew glanced over at Jake in the passenger's seat, staring out the window and admiring the sunset as he mumbled along to the lyrics of the song.
It doesn't fade when I'm on the road…
And when you're not around…
Drew took in a breath, turning his attention back to the street. He had to stay focused, despite how badly his mind wanted to wander.
Yeah, everywhere I look there's only shades of you…
No matter what I do, you're my navy blue…
And in that moment, Drew felt so, so happy. Happy to be driving with Jake by his side. Happy to be sharing his music. Happy to be alone with him, and happy to journey without a specific goal or destination.
But… there was a part of Drew that still felt unsatisfied. A part that wanted to be closer. A part that wanted more.
Drew thought he’d gotten rid of that feeling long ago. That desperation, that longing… why did it always come back to him?
He wasn’t supposed to feel this way anymore. Hell, he was in a relationship now, with a girl he thought was cute, and fun to be with. And she was popular, and she liked him…
But she never made him feel like this…
Drew swallowed, keeping his mind fixated on the road as he drove them all around Rosemeadow aimlessly, talking to Jake on occasion. Drew practically had to force himself to keep his eyes on the road when Jake rolled down his window, allowing the wind to ruffle his hair. He had to remind himself to stay focused as the sun went down, and Jake’s eyes practically sparkled in the moonlight.
When I look at you, I see navy blue…
*+*+*
Hours later, Drew found himself driving down an empty highway, with only his headlights to guide him. Jake had his head out the window, his caramel eyes wide as he gazed up at the sky above them.
“Hey, can we pull off for a bit?” He asked, and Drew raised an eyebrow.
“What for?” Jake didn’t answer, and instead pointed at the sky. After a moment of consideration, Drew pulled off to the side of the road, putting the car into park and following Jake outside. Drew’s eyes didn’t stray for a moment as he watched a small smile appear on Jake’s face.
“The stars are so pretty out here,” He commented, sitting down on the hood of the car. Drew settled himself beside him, and followed his gaze to the night sky. “I almost forgot what they looked like in person.”
Drew stole another glance at the blonde as he continued.
“It’s so beautiful…”
“Yeah, it is…” Drew said, allowing himself to admire Jake as he’d done so many times before. And once more, he wondered what he had done to deserve someone so wonderful.
But after a moment, he caught himself, and he redirected his attention to the sky.
He shouldn’t be having these thoughts anymore. At least, not about Jake. These kinds of thoughts should be directed towards his girlfriend, right? Not his best friend…
So why did the stars look so much prettier reflected in Jake’s eyes?
Drew didn’t understand… he couldn’t understand. And he didn’t want to understand. Because no matter the answer, it would only complicate his current relationships. And Drew couldn’t afford to lose those.
So, Drew took in a slow breath, and forced himself to focus on the stars.
“You ready to be a Junior next week?” Jake asked suddenly, and Drew thought for a moment.
“Eh.” He answered. In truth, he hadn’t thought about it much.
“I’m not. Everyone always says Junior year’s the hardest. It sounds like it’ll be a lot…”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“I don’t know.”
…
“You know what you want to do after high school?” Jake asked, and Drew shook his head. “Yeah, me neither.” The blonde paused for a moment, before gesturing towards the sky. “You think they know?”
“…The stars?”
“Yeah. I mean, a lot of people believe in fates being written in stars and stuff.” Drew turned on his side to face him.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re becoming one of those astrology girls. You gonna tell me about the healing properties of crystals next?”
“Hey! I’m just saying. It’s just…” He paused, and turned his head to look at Drew.
“It’s a nice thought, I guess. Knowing that at least something has everything figured out.” Drew turned back to the stars.
“I guess so.”
…
“I wish the sky could always look like this.”
And Drew wished the two could always be like this…
…
Drew opened his eyes, only to be met with the sight of his bedroom ceiling. It was hard to see anything else in the dark.
But… Drew couldn’t recall ever closing his eyes.
Swimming through the deepest oceans of my mind…
Oh… that song was still playing… He must’ve gotten lost in thought when it came on. He rolled over onto his eyes, squinting when the light of his phone hit his eyes.
When I look at you, I see navy blue…
…
Drew skipped the remainder of the song.
🖤- “Henry, why the hell would I know what I taste like??”
💛- “I could always help you find out.”
(Anyways is this meme still relevant?)
dude i got worried i didnt post that to the right blog cuz i didnt see it show up on here at first when i posted it helppp!
scemo milly X3 XP 0_0 real and true??!
my misicfreaks headcanons circa july 2023 wow ok. this is a little bit outdated ALSO NO HATE TO STSCY SHES JUST BArely a character to me no offense. maybe if she does something in s2 she will earn transgender or something. i have more elaboration i will make another post about that thiugh. ok yay
I tried writing for once lol, enjoy :3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he had no reason to be sad, he always told himself he had it better than most and should be grateful for his parents, that he should smile and wave as he went about life, even if he felt drained and stressed. his parents enforced this by shutting out his emotions, and his old friends shot his pain down with some of their own, not even acknowledging the fact their friend was in the middle of breaking down. this continued until he reached where he is today.
after a long day he decided to go visit his good friend, drew. they had been friends for quite a while now but even after all that time he didn’t want to lose him. as thoughts raced through his mind, he pulled up to drew’s house and invited him outside. they sat in the back and talked, just about anything that would cross their mind. as the topic of emotions came up, drew beckoned a question.
“How are you always so happy?”
This made jake’s chest jolt. he thought to himself and realized what he had been ignoring. thoughts about how he had been brushed off for anything but happiness, his words came out as a softer mumble.
“i try to be happy for you guys”
his eyes spoke more, however. sad poems whose words rippled in the gentle glow of the moonlight. drew sighed a bit, then looked right at jake.
“i can tell there’s something more, jake. whatever act you have, cut that out. talk to me, man to man.”
he spoke with a soft tone, one that seemed to hold his soul gently, more than anyone could physically be capable of.
“i just.. want to be someone you can come to. someone that, is always happy and is able to figure things out for himself and others. someone who can lead others to their happiness.”
drew looked at jake, staring into his eyes. they’ve always been so deep.. he thought to himself. he lifted his hand up to jake’s face, gently pressing his soft, thin hands into jake’s cheek. it was warm as jake stared back.
“what about you? where’s your happiness?”
jake’s heart felt pierced. his vision blurred as his lips peeled back into a forced smile. no.. no… i can’t cry… not now… not with.. him… he blinked rapidly and looked around to dissipate the now-welling tears.
“what do you mean? i’m alright, i’m okay”
his voice had broken on the last few words. drew used his thumb to caress jake’s soft, warm cheek as he felt jake start to gently tremble.
“you don’t seem alright, jakey. what’s going on?”
his mind had become chaotic. emotions of all sorts raced as his breathing sped up, his bottom lip quivered slightly. while he leaned his head down, soft whispers to himself were leaving his lips.
“i can’t.. i don’t.. i want to… but i’ll lose him..”
jake’s trembling has gotten far worse as more of these phrases were uttered. drew watched as jake lifted his head, a few smears of tears that had once been in the ducts overshadowed by a smile across his face
“im fine, you see?” “i really am.”
“jake.. you’re trembling and choking back something, what’s going on?”
a single teardrop rolled down jake’s face, dripping into his forced smile as he uttered words that drew never expected him to say.
“i can’t cry… i can’t cry..”
drew’s expression softened into a concerned stare as jake hic’ed and choked back his tears, hiding his expression in his hands. drew didn’t say much, he pulled jake slowly into his chest, which caused him to wrap his arms around drew. he felt small throbs and noises of crying, his cheek still contorted into a smile.
“i’m sorry… i’m sorry… please don’t leave me… im sorry…”
drew heard this coming from his sweater, and it made him tear up. jake clung to drew now, his fingers slightly digging into his back. he didn’t care, however, and held jake as his soft sobs continued.
“drew… i just… i’m sorry you have to deal with this.. i just.. can’t cry..”
jake was unfortunately correct. despite his choking and shaky breathing, next to no tears stained drew’s sweater. his mind was now racing, trying to force itself to be happy for drew’s sake, if it didn’t, he believed he’d lose him.
drew’s silence only reinforced his recurring thoughts, believing he had been annoying drew, he repeated apologies.
“drew… i’m really sorry… i shouldn’t… i can’t…”
he could barely speak two words before his speech choked itself back, as if holding back everything he had been bottling up.
*badump. badump. badump.* he heard drew’s soft heartbeat against his chest, and what happened next took any chance of successfully bottling up his emotions away.
drew took his hand and ran it through jake’s hair, his fingers gently and gracefully weaving through his pillow of blonde, petting jake as he would an animal of equal innocence.
jake’s heart skipped a beat before more tears started falling from his eyes, his clinging only getting tighter as his smile forced itself to grow.
“drew.. i c-…”
his speech was now cluttered, he looked up at drew with tears in his eyes. his eyes were met with drew’s, a soft brown full of empathy. drew cracked a small smile, and his next words were soft.
“jake, why would i leave you for crying? i’ll never leave you dude. i love you.”
jake’s eyes widened, what followed was a deep breath before he laid back in drew’s chest and cried. his smile had gone away, replaced with a quivering, gritted frown as tears started streaming down from his face. all that was uttered from him were the muffled cries and hiccups as he clung onto drew further. something inside him had snapped, and he lost everything he built up. everything he had forced himself to work for, all gone with those three words.
“i love you”
those three words bounced around in his mind while his tears flowed nonstop. he had bottled up his sadness, his anger, his distrust, everything other than happiness and empathy was tucked away into a deep part of his soul. but now, it was in the spotlight. and as the gentle moon glow shined down on his deepest, tucked away emotion, he continued to cry. everything he had been building up was released into his best friend. he didn’t feel strong anymore, but felt a warm sense of relief with each sob.
*+*+*
after a few minutes he quieted down, having been worn out from the expent energy. drew looked down at his friend, having shed a few quiet tears himself, he now understood what jake had been going through. he had built himself up to be this guardian angel, but now.. now jake was in his chest, staining his sweater with the tears of a broken pillar. but that was the least of his concern, as he started to hear soft, now slowed breathing.
“jake?”
he gently moved jake’s head to the side, now met with the tear-stained, worn out face of a sleeping jake.
“dumbass, you wore yourself out.”
he chuckled to himself, as he planted a kiss on jake’s forehead. jake had deserved it, he had been so strong for so long, he had worn himself out. he laid the fallen angel back in his chest and held him close. and whispered something he wouldn’t be caught dead repeating.
“i love you for a reason, yknow.”
drew fell asleep, jake’s warmth and his together created a cozy, soft environment under the spotlight of the moon.
ok i lied i opened askbox you guys can yap whateber u want or like ask questions or hell give me art requests i dunno go wild. but i will log off for now for real ok
ok thats enough music freaking for now goodnight
🖤TMF S2 Predictions🖤
(But they’re all about Drew’s character arc because he’s my entire personality unfortunately.)
🖤After the fight between him and Jake, Drew can’t bring himself to cry. When he gets home, he’s on the verge of tears, and he’s barely able to hold himself together. (Sniffles and quiet breaths are the only thing able to escape him.)
🖤He’s also lost a lot of trust in Henry and Liam considering they also helped cover up Zoey’s cheating. He still somewhat forgave them, considering they were blackmailed, but he still can’t look at them the same.
🖤Slowly, Drew begins to spiral, wondering what else the two could’ve been lying about. What else were they hiding from him? How long until they turned on him too?
🖤Intrusive thoughts grow louder, and he eventually decides to cut off Henry and Liam. He snaps at them, and eventually blocks them.
🖤He blocks Zoey as well. He pretends she doesn’t exist. And that nothing ever existed between the two.
🖤He can’t bring himself to block Jake.
🖤He can’t get Jake out of his mind. He desperately wishes he could just go back to him, but he can’t, since in his mind, Jake never cared about him. Jake only ever used him. Just like Zoey did.
🖤He misses the comfort he found in Jake. He misses hearing his voice. He misses being in his presence. He misses him.
🖤But Jake was a liar. Jake never cared. So he couldn’t bring himself to forgive him.
🖤Even when Jake tries to apologize. Tries to talk things out, Drew refuses to listen. He lashes out at him, and eventually, Jake stops trying.
🖤Drew realizes this. He realizes Jake is truly gone now. He doesn’t know how to handle it.
🖤This is what causes him to realize Jake meant more to him than anyone else did. Because despite pushing everyone else away, Jake’s the only one he can’t stop thinking about.
🖤He realizes Jake was more than just a friend to him.
🖤But he tries to convince himself it doesn’t matter. He tries to convince himself he’s better off without Jake, or anyone for that matter.
🖤He stops bullying the Music Club. But he’s hostile to everyone. He shuts down completely.
🖤He’s unable to sleep at night. He doesn’t eat as much.
🖤He doesn’t put as much effort into himself. His eye-bags become more noticeable. His hair’s messier. (If Drew isn’t absolutely disheveled in S2 I will riot.)
🖤Every day becomes a struggle. Every minor inconvenience leaves him on the verge of tears. But he refuses to cry. At least not at school.
🖤He spirals further. Without his friends to distract him, he’s alone with his thoughts. Without his friend’s to rely on, his emotions only grow more volatile. Without someone around, he feels worthless.
🖤Without his friends, he’s nothing.
🖤He finally realizes his codependency.
🖤And he begins reflecting on his actions, his regret growing more and more every day.
🖤He sees Jake with his new friends from the club, and his jealousy only grows worse.
🖤At one point his emotions overflow, and he ends up breaking something in his room. (Not sure what specifically, just something.)
🖤Drew desperately needs a hug. And he finally breaks down crying in his room about everything.
🖤He has at least one nightmare sequence regarding his stressed and insecurities. (Similar to Jake in Episode 10.)
🖤And in the end, Drew has to be the one who works towards making amends with Jake. (Something would make him realize Jake still did care about him.)
🖤Because it’s the only way to show Drew growing as a character. It would force him to swallow his pride, and admit he was in the wrong, both things Drew would never do before.
🖤He’d also have to be vulnerable, putting him out of his comfort zone.
🖤And, of course, Jake would forgive him.
🖤And Drew ends up crying in Jake’s arms. (Full on ugly-crying. Heaving sobs and struggling for breath. Hell if this wasn’t a Gacha and I was the writer I’d go so far as to have him get a bloody nose or pass out.)
🖤And then maybe he starts taking little baby steps to try and improve himself I don’t know.
(There’s bound to be a lot more and I know I skipped a lot of plot points but this is all I got for now. Might make a part two might not.)
you guys know what i hate? tmf fandom acting like the dromies did nothing wrong. i mean u can like them i LOVE them but stop acting like they havent been tormenting the music club since like forever.
Liam fans hear me out in this hc
So basically the hc is Liam is actually aroace and cupioromantic in denial. He felt strange how he felt nothing at a romantic gesture so he tries to mask it by flirting with people, making dirty jokes and make moves on someone. He can get flustered sometimes although it was never anything romantic, he was just embarrassed but he took it as a feeling of attraction or romance. He deeply wanted to be in a romantic relationship as he was taught that it was the purest form of love and to achieve it is something amazing and stuff. Although whenever he actually receives it, as in kisses or holding hands in a romantic serious sense, he wouldn't feel any joy and just felt quite literally nothing about it. In fact it'll just make him uncomfortable instead.
25 posts! oh happy birthday my 25th post wasabout autism and my birthday is also on the 25th of this month and i wasnt trying to make a joke when i said oh happy birthday at the start of this pist but then i immediately remembered so retroactively pun intended because i think we all deserve to get a little silly in our lives forwver and ever
by the way everyone in the music freaks is autistic in case you didnt know. hope this helps
the music freaks as a whole is so queer coded like the music club and interest in music is presented in a way that is so reminiscent of queerness its crazy. like the way people treat an interest in music is so strange it makes no sense that anyone would actually care that much that some people liked to make music liek. everyone listens to music yknow. who cares??????????? like its just so weird as a face value thing so it only makes sense that the stigma around music in the music freaks is actually an allegory for stigma that exists in thr real world (i understand that this is a fictional universe and whatnot and like the whole POINT is that people think music is weird but honestly art imitates life and the music freaks isnt so disconnected from reality in its plot and universe despite how dramatized evetything is)
more below the break cuz this got kinda long. lol
