[jaline2014]

My mom doesn’t understand that with depression even the smallest things feel like accomplishments, but to her it’s never enough

[the-unicorn-slayer893-blog]

[onelastword-x-blog]

Hands

-

I’ve always loved the way your hands looked

And not just when compared to someone else’s

Not just in comparison to mine

They were always just right

Almost like an artist’s hands

You see, they were always cracked and calloused

Worn, from building walls around yourself

Your skin covered in muddy, flaking clay

Crumbling off as it dried

And I think

You must be so secluded

I had two thoughts

Before touching your hands for the first time

I thought, “Are they soft?”

Well, I sure hope not

Not too soft anyway

Because seven years ago, I fell into a hole

And I still haven’t managed to climb my way out

So as soon as our hands meet,

I wonder if they’ll be strong enough to help me out

And I thought, “Will they be cold?”

Because, my god, I hope so

Because my hands are so fucking cold

That it burns if someone grabs them

So goddamn cold

That anytime someone touches them

They ask me if I’m okay

And I don’t know

Am I?

I mean, I’m aware most people have walls

But I just feel like mine aren’t the same

Because, whereas you are hiding away

It’s more like I’m trying like hell to escape

It’s like I’m trapped inside

And I’m trying desperately to retain the memory

Of the last time I actually saw daylight

And I know, that you know

That where I am now feels permanent

And you tell me to just give it some time

Because nothing is actually permanent

But I can tell you

The moment our hands touched,

It was like I felt something click

Because, my god, your hands are so strong

And mine are so damned weak

It was almost like I was forced to dig in

God, I want so desperately to hold on

Because if I hold on, maybe

Just maybe the world will stop

And your hands will stay cold

So cold, like mine

They’ll stay cold, and strong

Steely, like metal gears

Protecting, like glass casing

Like we’re constructing a clock

And we could tick together

But I feel like I can’t move fast enough

And I know so much time has passed us already

But I swear I’ll make it up

And I know, damn

It must be so hard to stand in front of someone

Who just keeps promising that they’ll get better

And I know I have no evidence

To back up what I promise

But please,

Please

You have to trust me

We both know my past is ugly

But I swear to you,

I really think sometimes

That I can make it to the other side

Just as long as I know that when I get there

You’ll be waiting for me

When I get there, I’ll have

Somebody

Please have faith in me

That I can do this

I need that

I need you

I need

Another month, and really

I swear to god I will pull through this

I need to

I need you

I just

Need for our hands to touch~

.

.

.

X

[melancholy-lover]

I hope one day you realize how fucked up what you did to me was.

I don’t think I can ever forgive you.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[gracefullyinkful]

I have this terrible habit of ignoring things that I don’t want to see, things that hurt me, things that rattle me to my core. I give myself a month or two to dwell on it, and then I decide that it’s done. I don’t know when I started doing it but it helps. See, because I can’t let myself think about you. There are things about you that I know are true that will reach the light of day and burn my entire world to the ground. So I just...refuse.

- out of sight, out of mind // h.g

[fadedheartbreq-blog]

“when you left there was a lot of rain. And I don’t mean just outside, I mean everything was just very gloomy and dark. I remember there was a lot of tears and not just regular tears.. there was sitting on the bathroom floor tears, breaking down at our favorite makeout parking place tears, crying in the shower tears, having a panic attack the first time I saw you since we said goodbye tears. just a lot of tears. It was the type of pain that I always felt, it was just always there, my heart just felt so damn empty all the time. everything hurt more without you & I couldn’t stand the intensity of my feelings and the lack of yours… I just couldn’t believe how one-sided things could be. I’ve been trying to distract myself from all this pain but it always comes back to you. I will never not wish that things could have worked out between us. I wish we could have been more, I so badly wish things could have been different with us. but they aren’t and I have to wake up every morning knowing that.”

— Journal entry October 17, 2018

[fadedheartbreq-blog]

“I don’t know where to start with what I feel, I guess love just seems like one of those things that only few get to truly experience. I don’t know.. I guess what I’ve been learning is that things aren’t always as black and white as they seem. Just because someone doesn’t love you in the same way that you love them doesn’t mean that its not there. When I think back to us, i feel my heart break all over again.. So I stopped thinking about you all together. Its not that I want to forget you, its just that it hurts too much to be back there again, to feel all that love that you claimed was never there. I swear I drove myself crazy trying to figure out how things were from your perspective.. because it just never made any damn sense to me. I looked for clarity in every one of our memories but I could never see anything without love attached, I knew I would never be able to. I never told you this but I think you were the first person to ever truly hurt me. Because I think you were the first person I gave all my self too. The insecuritites, the faults, the imperfections.. You saw it all and you stayed. You stayed even though it wasn’t in the way I wanted. I think staying only broke my heart more, because hearing you talk about everything you were capable of, seeing that you were CLEARLY capable of love broke me in more ways than I could ever write about. And it took me a long time to be able to look at you and not feel all that rejection and hurt.”

— you taught me a lot, mostly that I need to stop believing I deserve less than what I give.. 

[jaline2014]

I’m the type of person who will give a million chances, even if you’ve proven you deserve other wise a thousand times, even if you’ve hurt me every time , I’ll always give another chance

[fightingborderline]

People always talk about how heart breaking it is when someone they love is leaving them. And believe me, it is. It has happened to me several times and it almost killed me everytime. But making the step to leave someone you love is just as hard. Especially when you and that person are still fine together. When you both still love and care for eachother. But you know you have to do it because it will be better for your future self.

R.R. - This decision was never easy M

[redrum-mami]

So next time

So next time a boy says to you

“let’s just see where this goes”

If he’s not thrilled about the journey

Don’t take him along for the ride

It didn’t have to have a plan

Or a set destination

But his hesitation

should be enough

….

So next time a boy says to you

“Let’s just see where this goes”

Girl

Let it go nowhere before it heads somewhere painful

Before he takes you on a scenic detour of lies in disguise as romance

Before the road’s twists and turns are as confusing as the words he says to you

Before the road itself starts cracking from underneath

Before my thoughts overwhelm me with how long we could stay here instead of just taking the next possible exit

Before the weather gets bad

And the headlights aren’t bright enough

Before the veiw in the rearview is more vivid than the veiw up ahead

Before the sounds of the tires screaching are louder than the sounds of your pleading

He didn’t plan to start and end his trip with the same girl at his passengers side

Nor did he expect you to forget how “lucky” you were to be in his company

So next time a boy says to you

“let’s just see where this goes”

Just say no.

-ally l.

[thetrippytrip]

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

[castlevanian]

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

[tabbran]

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

[themightyglamazon]

That was a wild goddamn ride

[wereralph]

god this was worth the read

[pleaseburnthisafteryoureadit]

i didn’t know it at the time, but this would destroy the both of us. so i guess it is true, we become the poetry we never intended to write. when i called it quits, i knew you were going to be determined to hate me. but i never would have dreamed it would hurt like this. i’m so sorry, love, i had to leave. i swear it was nothing but my best intentions. but i know that isn’t good enough for either of us. i suppose the truth is, poison only tastes like poison after you swallow it. & i’ve finally come to understand that there is no name for the man that leaves. so now i’m looking at his hands around your waist but i swear to God i can feel them around my neck. so i’ll throw back 17 more shots, and pretend that this is not the way things are destined to be. & i’ll begin to recall the person i wanted to be, and how i was never able to get it quite right.   i could have been a better man for you. so now i’ll spend nights trying to sleep, and instead of counting sheep, i’ll count every one of my mistakes. and i just want you to know that i’d trade everything i’ve ever had just to have the backbone of a man.

“the contrition of the dead man” -k.m.k (via pleaseburnthisafteryoureadit)

[extrahurt]

I wish the little things that you did, didn’t hurt me. I’m perfectly okay without you. But I can’t ignore this ghost feeling inside of my heart that longs for you. It’s so conflicting to feel nothing but everything at once when it comes to you. I forget about you when i get lost in my mind or when I’m thinking of other things. But when someone mentions you or when your name appears on my screen. I just freeze. I freeze because all the feelings of sadness and frustration towards you comes at me like a train. And I swear I almost forget to breathe at that moment. I feel a surge of anger rush through my veins because you are a liar. You deceived me with all your sweet words that came out of those poisonous lips. And you moved on so quickly. But I know I moved on from you. Just not completely. Because somehow, someone like you, still has a tiny home in my heart. Sooner or later, you’ll be evicted.

My heart is not a home for you - j.d.d (via extrahurt)

[jaline2014]

You've been distant, i noticed it a couple days ago but I thought it was over thinking.. you know as we do. So I waited for it stop. I thought you'd be over it by the next day. But you weren't, over it the next day, nor the next day, nor the next. And suddenly the texts were getting shorter. And one day there was no good morning text. I thought "maybe he just forgot". But there was no good morning text the next day, nor the next day, nor the next. I tried making excuses, "he's just busy" "he had something to do today" "he just slept in" "we're fine". But we weren't fine and deep down I knew it. Then one day there was no 'I love you'. It seemed odd. So I waited to see if there would be one the next day. But there was no 'I love you' the next day, nor the next day, nor the next. Then one day.. there was nothing. No texts, no calls, nothing all day. Again I made excuses "he's just busy" "he had something to do today" "he just slept in" "we're fine". But we weren't fine and deep down I knew it. I thought it be different the next day. But again there was nothing the next day, nor the next day, nor the next. I tried asking about your recent behavior, but this time it was you who had the excuses "I was busy" "I had something to do today" "I just slept in" "we're fine".But we weren't fine and deep down I knew it. You finally said 'I love you'. But It was different. If felt wrong.. it felt distant, you didn't mean it. And that was when I knew, it was over. But I desperately tried to hold on, I loved you so much and I didn't wanna lose you. I knew it was hurting me more to hold on than to let go, but how do you just let go someone who is your whole world?

[lemon-ly]

2017 goals

wear cute clothes

be more mysterious (?)

make at least 1 person fall in love w me

do what i want

[fuckinlester]

xx