peace be with y’all
you. you get it.

oozey mess

@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
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Game of Thrones Daily
🪼
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros
cherry valley forever
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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styofa doing anything
wallacepolsom

titsay

JVL

Kaledo Art
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

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seen from United States
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@james-will-grow
peace be with y’all
you. you get it.
Serious Turtle
the year is 2039. i step outside my tenement in order to catch the TeslaBus shuttle that ferries me to my Amazon fulfillment center job. the chip in my hand beeps, reminding me to drink my SkinnyGurlLivin™ meal shake before the window for optimal nutrient absorption passes. it tastes like astroturf but i can feel my bowels rioting in response, so i know it must be working to help me be my best self. on my way to the shuttle stop ten blocks away i pass twelve holo-adverts of fast food gijinka mascots. the Burger King hologram has hamburger buns for breasts and attempts to seduce me, flashing her panties and following me for a full block until her holo-tether reaches the end of its broadcasting field and she blinks out of existence. “dude, you know you crave those burgs like i crave the sweet release of death, asdfghkld” are her last words. i dont know how she said a keysmash out loud. when she disappears i am briefly saddened by the abrupt feeling that once again, i am alone. her brightly colored buxom form may have been nothing but an illusion, but it was the only humanoid interaction i have had this morning. the heel of my vegan leather boot suddenly catches on a sidewalk crack and peels off from the sole. i sigh. that’s the third pair of boots i’ve had to buy this month. now limping awkwardly, i pull out my AmazonPhone Ozymandias and place another order for boots. finally i am at the TeslaBus stop. twenty five of us huddle under the heat lamp for warmth. the sides of the shelter are screens broadcasting advertisements for the new PowyrWomyn Labial Lipstick. “nothing makes me feel like i have rights more than applying Melon Pink to my nether region to make the boys go craaaaazy” the spokesmodel says. “men love empowered pussies.” the screen shifts to a newsreel and everyone at the shuttle stop immediately begins to zone out. “we’re very proud of the brave work our Freedom Drones are doing out on the battlefield. support your robo-troops today.” i can’t remember what battlefield the newsman is referring to. there are so many wars right now, it’s hard to keep track. after an hour, the TeslaBus finally arrives. this is actually pretty good time. usually it’s two hours. we all scramble to get onto the shuttle, pushing and shoving and clawing at each other. the Amazon Center only has so many available jobs per day, so we have to literally battle each other for the right to work there. with minimal damage (only a bloody nose and a small bite on my forearm) i manage to secure a seat near the front of the TeslaBus. an older woman eyes me, and i bare my teeth and hiss at her to signify that i am young, virile, and will defend my prime seat to the death. she drops her gaze. satisfied, i carefully crack open the tiny strongbox that houses my Model XVII AirPods. each one is the size and shape of a grain of rice. the audio quality is terrible, but it’s a long commute, and if i am unable to drown out the moans and groans of my fellow prospective Amazon workers, i may succumb to Shuttle Fever and attempt to throw myself out a window.
I know this is a shitpost but the amount of worldbuilding just for the joke is impressive
This is probably my favorite piece of dialogue in the game.
my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.
this passed the bechdel test
She was poetry, but he couldn’t read.”
His name was jarred hes nineteen
When his parents built a very strange machine
watch that scene dig in the dancing queen
aaaay macarena
Horrible job everyone
Shit
What do I feel now?
Lust? Love? Intrigue ? No! Longing!
I am rapt in it.
Happiness
I wait for it now
It is elusive and fast
Sadness follows me
Untitled 2
Dive headlong into the depths to which I do not belong
in search of something to fulfill me.
My heart reaches out and is unafraid of being wrong
Because anything beats being lonely.
I am tossed, turned, and thrashed about by her unforgiving hand;
unrelenting and careless to my own well being.
I am begging, pleading, and yearning for an explanation so that I might understand
why my love wasn’t one worth feeling.
Why am I here, uncared for and hurt once more?
Perhaps the price for shared happiness is just too high?
Even after all of this pain, I never learned to just leave and just shut the door;
surely, without any doubt in my mind, this is how I’ll die.
This sea is dastardly and unforgiving,
she has no regard for my cries, my agony, nor my desire for living.
First
Indefinitely,
my sorrows will follow me.
Perhaps not always.
Fool
Again, I go unseen in this wretched place,
passing as though I were a wretch.
My body remains unmoved with no face,
still searching for your attention that I couldn't catch.
My voice storms loud and brings forth thunder,
yet you remain unmoved, refusing to hear.
I have no doubt that I can live without her,
but with every day that passes, this doubt becomes unclear.
Tenderly, I reach out, I submit my hand
so that I may be seen in the plain of the forgotten.
Nay does this slam my heart across its land!
Again I weep, my love is scorned and unbegotten.
Once more, I rise like the sun and take my post;
awaiting another to deny my what I desire most.
Untitled
Devoid of hope, I stand here drifting
This game called love no longer amuses me
At first, the chase was uplifting
But now the future isn’t so heavenly.
I often gave my soul, my heart, and my whole body;
I intentionally looked passed every weed and thorn.
Yet nothing came of this; I have nobody.
Indeed, after all these trials, in my heart lies scorn.
My love is open and that means anyone’s invited;
Let me love you, protect you, and be your home.
I have so much more to give but my love remains unrequited.
At this rate, I am ready to accept this state of being alone.
Yes. Hopeless, indeed, I maintain this stasis.
This is my struggle on a day-to-day basis.
Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way
I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain
Scientists Are Teaching This Robot To Say “No” Humans - watch the full video
They didn’t .gif the best part!
I trust you…
If these scientists ever let this baby fall I will be taking names. Preserve this robots trust.
Can I adopt this robot?
conservatives get offended by the weirdest shit
imagine masculinity so fragile that you can’t even touch your own face
If you touch a man’s face it’s Gay. Even your own face. Gay face-touching has infected the youth of America.
hey guys, is it gay to touch your face? i mean you are caressing a man’s skin