In s2e7 ‘Headspace’, it’s framed to make us sympathetic to Keeley, and make Roy’s ‘clinginess’ a flaw of his.
But I’m rewatching it closely and like… there’s no sin committed, wanting to spend time with someone is not a crime. He's desire for closeness is equally as valid her wanting space. Not every person's not-getting-enough-space is because of another person's problematically clingy behavior.
Like we start off Keeley being startled by Roy in her kitchen. idk why, it’s morning, where else is he going to drink his morning cuppa? but he’s unexpectedly close all of a sudden and so she gives a little jump. And sometimes we get annoyed with ppl who startle us, for no real reason, even if the startling was accidental. No one’s fault.
They ride to work together. Of course they do when their schedules align. It would be stupid, expensive, and bad for the environment not to.
They walk in hand-in-hand, Roy gives her a kiss and heads off - note the absolute zero fuss about separating, no "when can i see you later?", just a quick and completely normal peck of goodbye.
Asking about her detour immediately after they separate - I get how people could read this is a little clingy or controlling. But I’ve also been in enough working environments long term to know that you learn your coworkers habits without noticing. And you don’t even have to be actively paying attention to them to notice when they deviate from routines. If they are walking the opposite direction of where they are supposed to be going, you wonder why. And if you’re close with that person, you ask about it. even more normal in a relationship. This situation is both coworkers and relationship. (My ex was super chill, not clingy or controlling. but if he saw me heading away from my home office when it was reasonable to expect me to be going to the room where i spent most of my time, he'd be curious and just casually ask "what are you up to, baby?")
Roy asks to go with her to get tea. Doesn’t make assumptions, doesn’t presume like ‘good idea, me too, let’s go’. And it’s a simple question “can I come?” no pleading, no passive aggression, no facial expression I read as anything that would guilt Keeley into accepting. There's nothing to suggest Roy has ever made a fuss when Keeley tells him no. I think a Keeley who was on top of her game in that moment would have thought of a smooth excuse that would deflect him without hurt feelings, like “you can if you like but I’m heading to [the opposite direction of Roy’s locker room] right after” or “I’m just grabbing a quick one, then I have to rush to make a conference call in time”. And hey!! Maybe Roy really did just want a fucking tea of his own at that moment. We know he loves it.
Keeley mentions to Rebecca that things were easier when they didn't work together. But Keeley was the one who chose to work there, Roy was not involved, didn't ask her to come work where he works. We see her doing work at home so she probably doesn't need to spend all day every day at Nelson Road.
Roy is not bothered when its obvious that Keeley is gossiping about him to Rebecca or Higgins. He doesn't ask what she was talking about, or try to grill them on it, or really stress out at all about what she might be saying about him. He respects that she has her own feelings/opinions/ideas about her life to talk about and might prefer to talk to other people about them sometimes. He doesn't need to know every conversation she has with other people, even if its about him.
Roy is being all kissy and affectionate while she is trying to get some work done... its sweet, its kinda in her way - neither of them are wrong for that. Its not unreasonable for him to love on his girlfriend when he is at her house for the express purpose of spending time with her. If you have someone over to your house, its not weird that they might expect some of the host's attention.
When Keeley puts her foot down, "no seriously, stop kissing me and let me alone to work" Roy immediately does! He goes and sits quietly with his book! He did exactly as she asked. without complaint or even a grumpy(er) expression on his face about it. Keeley could have gone back to work while Roy read, no problem. Keeley distracted herself there. She chose not to focus on her work.
Keeley hiding in the boot room is also her own choice. Rebecca was correct that Keeley needed to tell the one person who could do something about it. And once again Roy raised no objection to Keeley talking about him to others, even when its a room full of people, some of whom he definitely would prefer not know too much private information about him. (Jamie for sure, and probably Ted just out of principle)
Roy had shit timing in talking about his book, but its not exactly bad boyfriend material to want to share excitement about something new. She is watching a 20 year old show so its highly unlikely its an episode she hasn't seen before and really wants to focus on.
When Keeley finally expresses in words that sometimes she needs to be by herself, Roy is upset not about that fact, he's upset that she was discussing it with others, and about how it made him look, when he never had the option to act any differently because he didn't know she wanted him to act differently. He thought they were enjoying their time together! He was happy! and his "I'm an idiot" was, i think, about that, about blindly going along thinking they had a great thing. Thinking he's doing a great job at this boyfriend thing. (and he probably needed some validation a little bit after his retirement woes) He was really blindsided and hurt, and Keeley really didn't want to hurt him like that, but communication needed to happen a lot earlier, before she built up feelings of resentment about not getting what she didn't ask for.
Ignoring her in the parking lot the next morning was some petty shit, yes, but it is far from the first time the 'clingy' side of the 'i need space' argument has responded with passive-aggressive levels of distance. Its not like anyone elaborated on what 'more space' and 'time to myself' means in concrete terms. Plenty of people might interpret "i need space" as "wait for me to come to you". And whomst among us hasn't practiced awkward avoidance after a confrontation, for any number of reasons? its not 'right' or therapist-approved, but its relatable. Its how many human beings tend to act in similar situations.
We all think Keeley is the cat's pajamas, yeah? And her need for space is perfectly valid. But if we were going to pick sides on this issue...
people should NOT be allowed to say they met their partner online when they used a dating site or app. if you say "we met online 🥰" i expect to hear that you got into an argument in a homestuck fanfic comment section and fell in love. that you met in a furry discord server and got married. not that you swiped on tinder until you met fucking josh who lived 3 miles away.
I will revive this account with a dissertation on Jamie Tartt and how his character should be treated if it means they’ll take my advice and do S4 right.
Truly the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life but I am once again losing my entire mind over the fact he brings his childhood teddy bear from home with him on his trips. That thing lives on his bed at home with him in London (I'm not a creep, he used to do all his press from his bedroom during the pandemic, the below pictures are from an instagram takeover in 2020 before the show began airing) and he packs it and brings it to LA for luck or comfort or whatever. This is not the first time the bear has travelled with him and it surely won't be the last. I simply can't be expected to go on in these conditions.
Okay I’m going to say this and I’m going to say this once.
I do not like how the relationship with Jamie’s father was handled in season 3.
If they wanted to go the route of forgiveness they absolutely could have. If they wanted to go the route of his dad going to rehab they absolutely could have. Those are not inherently wrong or bad. It’s a show about forgiveness and I get that. It’s a comedy and Jamie is not the main character - I get that too.
My issue is this: the show went out of its way on multiple occasions to show just how violent and abusive James is. Just to give a few examples:
Repeated physical abuse
Repeated verbal abuse
Planning, funding, and likely pressuring the sexual abuse of his 14 year old son (a minor and below the age of consent in both The Netherlands and the UK regardless of the age of the girl in the red light district)
The willingness to beat Coach Beard (basically a stranger to him) with a metal pipe in a 3 to 1 fight in a back alley which could have realistically resulted in his death (and calling Beard “son” right before the final blow)
Jamie literally gave up his dream - a job as a professional footballer on a top hometown team - to leave the country on a trashy reality show just to get away from his father. The show traced a large portion of Jamie’s issues back to his relationship with his father. Not all of course - but that was a big theme of his growth and development.
So even if we entertain the notion that this stint in rehab was successful and James is sober - that’s great. That’s a storyline I wouldn’t mind hearing - IF we had the appropriate time to show it. But the thing is, we didn’t. This season was disjointed and rushed in many ways - and I’m not complaining - I still loved it. But if they’re going to tackle a topic this serious, they need to do it right. They need to be clear that alcohol was not the only problem James had and that sobriety does not absolve you of accountability. As important as it is to portray the message that all human beings can change, including addicts, it is equally as important to show the serious work that addicts in recovery put in to address the hurt that they caused through their addiction. It is not easy work to battle addiction and to mend relationships - sometimes part of recovery is accepting that you can’t mend things with everyone you’ve hurt and that is the right of the victim to decide how they feel.
We were shown none of this. What we got instead was:
A speech from Jamie’s mom about how he is still amazing despite his dad while still somehow crediting Jamie’s talent to his dad’s abuse
Ted telling Jamie to forgive his dad as he’s mid-panic about his safety and his dad’s location
Ted making a point to say the forgiveness was for Jamie’s sake, not for James - which was ALMOST good until they ruined it
Denbo and Bug suddenly supportive despite being just as violent as James in 2x09
James suddenly in rehab for 0.2 seconds
Jamie reaching out to his dad via text despite having no idea his dad is in rehab - something that is realistically compromising his physical and emotional safety
A quick clip of Jamie bonding with his father before the season/series ends for good
The reason I connected with Jamie so intensely from season 1 was the shared experience of abuse from my father. I want to be clear that I know I’m projecting - that’s what fandom is - and I in no way expected the show to end exactly as I wanted. However, this is what I would have liked to see as 1) an abuse survivor 2) a licensed therapist and 3) a person:
The message that you can heal without forgiving those who hurt you OR that you can forgive them and still not allow them back into your life (ESPECIALLY if it compromises your safety)
The message that sometimes people don’t change for the better and you can grieve that relationship while still fostering healthier ones elsewhere.
An emphasis on support systems and chosen family when someone doesn’t have the reality of a parent or partner getting better (we saw this with Bex seeking out Rebecca and Rupert’s assistant)
Instead of Man City suddenly cheering for Jamie, which felt insanely unrealistic, having the cheers of Richmond fans drown out the boos and verbal assaults of the Man City crowd - further emphasizing that despite the pain he has attached to Man City and his father, he has a home with Richmond.
So to wrap up this very long rant, I feel very disheartened by this part of the season. I still love Ted Lasso and always will - there were so many parts of this season I absolutely adored and wouldn’t trade for anything - but I feel that they dropped the ball on this one. Most people don’t get to repair relationships with abusive parents. Is it possible? Of course. Is it important to depict that it can happen? Absolutely. It’s a show about forgiveness. But they didn’t need to do it like this for Jamie’s storyline. They could have kept the speech about forgiving James for Jamie’s sake and deleted all of the rehab/texting afterwards. I still wouldn’t have been thrilled but it would have made more sense to me in context of the show. And it would have meant a lot more to me as someone who’s father is unlikely to ever stop being a risk to my safety.
This just felt bad. Jamie Tartt had one of the best arcs I’ve ever seen in media and he deserved better than that.
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