[foulserpent]

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

[sneeking]

..go on…….

[foulserpent]

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

[brightereyes]

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

[foulserpent]

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

[brightereyes]

i say nothing

[foulserpent]

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

[brightereyes]

Thanks

[foulserpent]

youre welcome

[meanplastic]

IM LAUGHING SO HARD

[thebootydiaries]

[lemonadebottle]

cursed object

[willsmithsmackedtheshitoutofme]

Mood

[rigaya-deactivated20180901]

Lets skeddit

[outropeace]

THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTAN

[cringe-attacks]

!!!!!!

[hadesismyqueen]

Ok once she came to the store I work at dressed in sweats and louboutins, told me my sneeze was “adorable as fuck” complimented my lipstick and tried to go halvesies on her purchase with the guy (boyfriend?) she was with because, and I quote, “it’s my shit too, lemme pay too”. She was a bit nutty but all in all she was nice af? Especially considering she was at Disneyland and probably dealing with people who suck??? She was nice as shit and I had no clue who she was but lemme tell you she’s A+ in my book.

[babyanimalgifs]

[playboimoni]

[wastedawayagaininmargaritaville]

Honestly I buy it

[croptopdelapistola-deactivated2]

same

[ccstcrptc]

wig off

[tocif]

i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now

[thebootydiaries]

me: how am i? really? as if u care lmao. im so SICK of small talk,. i want someone who asks about my day and MEANS it, wipes my tears and tells me im beautiful without make up on, but all boys do is lie.maybe love wasn’t made for people like me

walmart employee: ma'am,

[dorfs]

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

I got like zero sleep and I’m at work trying to act like a human being and I was nearly moved to tears by a stock photo of a sad businessman

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

he;s so sad

[darkmasterofdragons]

[funhomes]

buckbarrow:

buckbarrow:

i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father

STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT

still Hangin with Yo frienz one year later

[sixpenceee]

Do you guys think we could ever live in a world without any crime? In high school, I had this discussion with my sociology teacher, and one theory was no, we can’t. Even if we had a world without murder, rape, and all that, the definition of crime itself would change in the hypothetical community. So perhaps something like dropping plates will have as much penalty as murder. And by this theory, a Utopian community can never exist. 

[angelicguy]

this got 100k? jesus

[jeoff-deactivated20170909]

this is so woke no wonder

[sustainablefarming-deactivated2]

[the-real-eye-to-see]

Gymnastics has come a long compared to that old footage, but this difference is particularly significant for black girls! Because they have never taken seriously our abilities! Just because the color of our skin is not what they want to see!

Simone Biles’s fantastic performance has been covered by many news outlets all these years! Now we can see the real difference!

#BlackGirlsMagic

[dannymrowr]

It’s like a metaphor of what millenials have to do to get jobs vs baby boomers lol

[advanced-procrastination]

I was debating whether to reblog but that last comment did it for me