Jayden

He/him - amature coslayer - kinnie - gay - band kid - wannabe skater boy

[jayridessolo]

It’s been a hot second.

I kinfirmed Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmè Amidala, Magnito, and The Female since we last talked.

I almost use this site as an outlet because no one I know irl kins like I do so-

I know I won’t get popular but idc bc at least I’m getting something out.

Might post my kins later.

[jayridessolo]

I’ve been struggling a bit Kin-wise. I feel so bad as Kylo Ren-

I feel like I need to apologize to Leia, Rey, Han, Chewie, Finn, Hux. Fuck it, Anakin too. For not becoming what he wanted to.

So I’ll be writing letters in different posts for those people.

I just can’t stand that I died not being able to tell my mom I love her.

I cry at night because I killed my own father.

I wanted to be Ben Solo. I never liked Kylo Ren. I hurt so many people and I never got to save anyone. Well, one person.

Stay tuned.

[jayridessolo]

Aight self-promo here. I’ve been writing a lot on AO3, go check it out. My name is @/The1stbluejay. It’s kylux ofc hehe. More info on there!

[flowri1983]

Finally some relatable fucking content.

[jayridessolo]

Hey! I’m writing a NSFW kylux fanfic and I need some feedback. I’m not done with it but I still need some help. It takes place after episode six. There are some warnings but I’ll go into more detail if you’re interested. Some of it is already on wattpad (@/that1stbluejay) if you wanna read it.

[jayridessolo]

look at me not liking my okay art :)

[jayridessolo]

I'm writing another one-shot hehe this one is gonna have smut in it so I'm not sure if ill post it here. I might post a picture of some of my art later idk

[jayridessolo]

The Stars; A Kylux One-Shot

He kneeled in his quarters staring at his grandfather’s Helmet. “I’m sorry I couldn’t capture her. I’m sorry I couldn’t make her turn.” A tear trickled down Ben’s face and against his scar but he quickly wiped it away in spite. For the longest time, he had wanted to feel nothing so he could be seen as nothing but a strong leader. He wanted to be just like his grandfather, Darth Vader. More emotions began to flood his mind and body as he hunched over and pressed his hands to his face to hide his ashamed self.

He had sat there and sulked with himself for what seemed like ages when he heard a knock ad his door, “Ren, we need you. Can I come in?” The voice was obviously Hux, Ben’s most dedicated General. 

Ben brought himself to his feet and wiped away his tears so he could face Hux. “Hold on, I’m busy,” he grabbed his lightsaber from the floor and opened the door from where he was. “What is it, Hux?” Ben faced away, towards his single window, admiring what stars he had yet to suck the life out of.

“Ren, we’re yet to locate the girl.” Hux was across Ben’s quarters because he knew how dangerous Ben can get when he’s angry. Ben tilts his head down and lets his back sink into his shoulders while his hands lay on the windowsill. “I’m sorry sir,” Hux turns around and started to walk out of Ben’s quarters but the door closes before he makes it.

Ben turns to Vader’s helmet and then to Hux, “don’t leave, please.” Hux’s expression changed. His once determined eyes now glowed with confusion yet somewhat understanding. Ben instantly regretted what he had said. 

“Ren,” Hux took half a step forward towards Ben and stopped, “what are you doing?” Ben was looking at the mask once again. “You can’t possibly be obsessing over that still, you’re Kylo Ren.” Hux finished that half step and took another, “But look at you,” Ben’s eyes averted to the ground. “You will never be as strong as Dar-” his words had been cut off by the tense of his throat. Ben had raised his hand and Hux was off the ground. Hux began to dig and claw at his throat as if to get Ben’s hand off, but he was still a dozen feet away from him. Hux’s words turned to a jumble of incoherent noises and grunts. He could only get one word out from his struggle, “Ben…” Hux fell to the ground and began to cough hysterically. “What the hell?” Hux yelled through his coughs.

Ben falls to his knees and let out a choked sob. “Hux… I wish I could explain how I feel,” Hux scrambled to his feet and walked to Ben.

“Ren, is this about the girl?” Hux kneeled in front of Ben and lifted his chin with his thumb and forefinger. 

“No,” Ren looked into Hux’s eyes to see his careful and easing eyes. “I have a job for you.” Ben looked down and grabbed his lightsaber from his side and offered it to Hux.

“Ren, what are you saying?” Hux pushed the lightsaber down into Ben’s lap. “I’m not able to even hold that, I’m not a Jedi nor a sith.” 

Ben continued to look down at the lightsaber and began to raise his voice, “do it, Hux!” Hux took the weapon in his right hand and pressed his left hand against Ben’s scarred face. Ben began to sob again, “do it…” his words trailed off. 

Hux ignited the blade and put it centimeters away from Ben’s neck. “Ren, I can’t kill you…” Be looked at Hux. Hux was… crying. 

Ben let out a weak smile, “you will never be Supreme Leader, Armitage.” All color drained from Hux’s eyes. 

“Don’t call me that, Ben Solo.” he raised the lightsaber above his head. Ren looked at Hux intently as if to say ‘I know you want to.’ 

Hux swung the lightsaber and time stopped. Ben saw everything he loved and everything he cared for. Every mistake he made and every lie he told. He saw his father. His father still saw the good in Ben, so did his mother. He never admits it but Ben misses his parents deeply. 

The lightsaber hit the ground, “Ren.” They made eye contact again. “You know I can’t do that to you, I,” he paused and put his hand on the back of Ben’s neck. “I care about you.”

Ben wrapped his hand tightly around Hux’s neck and got centimeters from each other. “Liar. You’re a liar!” Tears began to fall from his eyes once again as he brought his own forehead to Hux’s. “I just…” Hux leaned in. Hux brought his lips into Ben’s and closed his eyes.

Ben’s eyes remained open as he let go of Hux’s neck and put his hand under Hux’s chin. He let his eyelids fall and he saw everything that Hux has. The rises and the falls of his mind. 

Neither of them wanted to pull away. For once they both felt comfortable in each other’s presence. Ben pulled away and smiled at Hux. He then stood up and walked over to his window. Hux slowly followed.

“Look at them Hux. Aren’t they beautiful?” Ben looked over at Hux and noticed his expression, he was confused. Ben looked back out his window and gazed. “The stars, Huxy”

Hux looked out into space, “Don’t call me that, Reny,” he glanced at Ben and gave a slight chuckle. Ben faced his body to Hux’s and brought him close, “what’s with this?” Hux had Ben’s arms wrapped around him in no time. Hux had never been embraced like this. He gave in and wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist and leaning his ear into Ben’s chest to hear his heart beating for nothing but himself. Hux opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped because he never wanted to leave the comfort of Ben’s hold. He had never felt like someone had cared about him this much in his entire life, he was raised to think he didn’t deserve it. 

Ben pulled away and put his hands on Hux’s shoulders and smiled at him. “Hux. It’s okay to feel,” Ben trailed his fingers down Hux’s arms and took his hands.

Hux pulled away from Ben and faced away, “Thank you, sir. I will be on my way now.” Hux looked down at his shoes and back at the door. “I’ll see you around, Benny.”

“Don’t…” Hux was already out of the door, “...call me that.”

[jayridessolo]

Okay but think of this;

Han Solo: Hey Benny, come here

Ben: Call me that one more time and I will strangle you

[ithelpstodream]

never forget

[jayridessolo]

Hello! I’m Jay. I kin with a bunch of characters but my strongest kin is Ben Solo. I am completely canon with the original episodes and looking for anyone who is willing. I will tag some other kins I have so interact as you please!