People don’t even say w00t anymore.
This sux00rz…

Janaina Medeiros
Not today Justin

#extradirty
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
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oozey mess

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Three Goblin Art
DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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JVL

@theartofmadeline
Stranger Things
Today's Document

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@flowri1983
People don’t even say w00t anymore.
This sux00rz…
These are so beautiful.
Credit goes to the wonderful artist: ChibiGreen
There's a Part 2 here :))
women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open
Women are like diamonds since they are composed primarily of carbon.
“i’m autistic” = 👍
“i’m a little autistic” = mark of the beast for annoying people
“touch of the ‘tism” = punishable offense
cartel style execution
Read this as 'doctor who' and was like they would never
"An Empire Built on Waste" by artist Emanuele (Jane) Morelli
i don't care if monday's bleak
tuesday matches wednesday's freak
thursday mispronouncing steak
it's friday, i'm in love
Tumblr culture is not knowing if this is from 2008 or earlier this week.
forcefem and forcemasc are OUT. we’re force-emoing tonight
reblog to make prev listen to my chemical romance and wear black ripped jeans and bad eyeliner. key word here is make. you WILL be emo
i was force-emo'd as a kid actually. when i was a young boy, my fa-
give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you
I swear to God I am so tired of this meme. You guys need to leave Wonderwall alone, seriously by now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do
my friend asked if i was gonna stop laughing at wonderwall jokes.
i said maybe
World Heritage Post
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
I raise you
Ante up
hey
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.
"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."
Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.
This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins
Anyone else fuck with individual songs? Who is the artist? I dunno. What album is it from? Shut up. What year was it released? *tim allen grunt* What's the title of the track? Fuck you. But it goes like this: *poorly memorized chorus*
I love that song. Do not ask me anything about it.