messed up forever

J.C | they/them | autistic | system | 20 | multifandom | special interest: doctor who | current hyperfixation: emmerdale | totally normal james potter and donna noble kinnie | writing robert sugden angst like my life depends on it | fic writer and aspiring author | ao3: parkerluck

[urfavrubyyy]

Yeah…So how has your day been?

[stuckinanothertimezone]

get somebody to be your always (chapter 2)

Aaron can’t stop thinking about Robert Sugden.

It has been eight days since Aaron changed his sheets and carded his hand through his sweaty hair, his knuckles pressed to the wall as he was trying to calm Robert down. It has been eight days since Vic came back from Hotten, tired but glad that her new car wasn’t acting up and that they had managed to get some appointments sorted. Eight days since Aaron chose not to tell her about the state Robert was in.

It has been eight nights, and Aaron’s fingers seem to tingle at the memory of Robert’s skin under the thin cotton of his t-shirt. It has been eight nights during which he turned in his bed before somehow managing to force himself to sleep, haunted by the colour of Robert’s eyes, beautiful like clear forest lakes.

Aaron tries not to look into this too much, telling himself that maybe he has always been drawn to despair, just as much as he has always seemed to attract it. 

Diane pours him a second pint, gushing about Robert’s support group, and Aaron doesn’t even bother to pretend he isn’t interested or listening.

“Vic mentioned that he was in a bit better spirits after you stayed with him.” Diane says easily, and the skin on the back of Aaron’s neck prickles, “I’m heading there in twenty for some tea and biscuits, maybe you’ll come along?”

The itch becomes almost unbearable, and Aaron digs his nails into his nape before nodding. 

The author feels mildly unhinged and offers an update on your nearest AO3 station.

[jonathan-harks]

By Proxy, or Whatever Happened to Baby John?

Chapter 1: Let's Play Doctors

In 1993 John Sugden is taken to live on Emmerdale Farm. In 2014 Aaron Dingle meets John Sugden and his sickly older brother who he takes care of and finds out there's more to them than meets the eye.

A.K.A Johnchausens Bi Proxy

[jonathan-harks]

Revealing a new Sugden without telling us how she's related to the family is so intriguing. Is she old enough to be Joe's daughter? Is she young enough to be Robert or Andy's? Did Jack have yet another love child? Is she from an entirely new branch of the Sugden family tree? Is she Andy's wife who's left him to hang out with her in laws? Is she Vic's wife who married her last week? Is she the result of Robert and/or Vic wishing on a shooting star for more family members? Who are you Serena Sugden?

[jcforsapphics]

not relevant to anyone but me, but happy anniversary to me watching emmerdale :)) who knew we'll end up here

[jcforsapphics]

should I pull a typical jc and abandon all current wips in order to write a fic that won't interest anyone but me

[inmyvampireempire]

I love tumblr because somehow I can end up being mutuals with a celebrity (someone that wrote a fic that I loved)

[hollow-toy]

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

[flawersblu86]

[jcforsapphics]

[jcforsapphics]

[jcforsapphics]

Last Line Tag Game

Rules: Post the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you want).

thank you so much @greenmoons for tagging me! (I've been waiting months to say this)

It's familiar and safe, the scrape of stubble against his skin something Robert learned to crave.

tagging @robrondale @jackiemerrick @aaronsugdens @bartonmatty @stuckinanothertimezone @livflahertydingle @sugdendeeznuts @sebdingle @barnbert @robertaaron @maybemystcha @dreamer-of-ships @nerdyfangirl76 and I'm too tired to check if that's a person for each word

[greenmoons]

Last Line Tag Game

Rules: Post the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you want).

OMG, thanks for tagging me @aster-petrichor, I'm so excited!!

Most of my times is on my multi chapter heated rivalry fanfic, so here is a little snippet from the new chapter I'm working on! The fanfic is about Scott and Shane meeting at a hockey camp (the end goals is for the hollanders to billet Scott).

“So, what are you planning to do with me?” Scott asked them, because his mind caught the reality and he knew they were right. He didn’t care about the answer, Scott doesn’t have any control over his life, but he at least wants to know if they are going to be ruined and he’ll get sent to a place where he won’t be able to play hockey.

Hoping I'll finish the chapter until Saturday (which is my posting day) but if not then I have a little Ted Lasso fanfic to upload instead and I'm also trying to write my first ever sapphic fanfic in a random fandom, so I have other things to post in case I won't finish the chapter.

@jcforsapphics I finally can tag you in one of the tumblr games! Also an open tag if anybody else wants to join in.

[stuckinanothertimezone]

let me in the walls you've built around

Robert looks away for a moment, takes a sip of his beer, and decides that he might as well be honest with a total stranger, now that he has finally learned how to be honest with himself.

"I'm not really good at it. Not anymore." His therapist would be so proud.

"You? Now, that's hard to believe." The man smiles, a little sexy smirk that feeds the little flames licking at Robert's insides. "I'm Aaron."

There's a short, cold spike of doubt shooting through Robert's skull, a way too familiar fear circling in his veins, his thoughts racing to what happened, what could happen, and–

"Robert."

He's safe. He's abroad and he can't get to him.

My first Forgot My Invitation fic is now on AO3 near you.

(The wheels spun for me: one night stand, Kev Townsend and 'you don't even know me'.)

[jcforsapphics]

one year to roberts return is crazy mind you I was unaware at the time the affects this will have of me or even who this character is no idea a year later he will rule my entire life

[robrondale]

wip wednesday!!

“I mean, we share a room, but —” If Robert blinked, he would’ve missed it. The flicker of disgust on Jack’s face, the subtle clenching of his fists around his bottle of water. Victoria remains blissfully ignorant, but Robert sees. He sees and he thinks and he comes to a conclusion at about the same time as Victoria says,  “— and he’s gay! You wouldn’t think it to look at him, would’ya?” No, I wouldn’t, Robert thinks, eyes flicking to Jack as he wonders whether he can make out the genuine panic on Robert’s face, or if he’s convinced himself that Robert’s known since day one. He probably thinks they’ve been at it like rabbits, gettin’ off to the thought of Jack’s disappointment. 

it's been a while since i started this since i've written virtually nothing recently... no fics written for my own event yet lmao but have some more of whatever this is <3

tagging @jackiemerrick @sugdendeeznuts @livflahertydingle @mellaithwen @bartonmatty @aaronsugdens @capseycartwright @illbeyourreasonwhy @maybemystcha @stuckinanothertimezone @kellykadesperate @dreamer-of-ships @barnbert @jcforsapphics @jonathan-harks @robertaaron @grassygreenferns @madroxed @aelric @nerdyfangirl76 and anyone else who fancies joining in! (apologies for anyone i missed) <3

[nerdyfangirl76]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you @robrondale @barnbert and @dreamer-of-ships for the tag 😊

A snippet from one of my FMI fics.

Behind the decorative plant, Leyla’s calf suddenly cramped from crouching awkwardly in heels for this long. She winced silently, shifting her weight and immediately regretting every life choice that had somehow led her to hiding behind a fake topiary spying on her client making out with his ex-husband at his own wedding.

Technically, she should have gone back to the village hall ages ago. There was a room full of guests getting drunker by the minute and approximately twelve trays of vol-au-vents that probably needed attention.

But there was absolutely no chance she was leaving now. Not when Aaron and Robert were staring at each other like the entire rest of the world had ceased to exist.

Aaron looked exhausted suddenly. “You can’t just turn up here and expect everything to go back to how it was.”

Robert held his gaze steadily. “I know.”

“No, I don’t think you do.”

Robert hesitated for a second, then said, with the sort of confidence only Robert Sugden could manage while bleeding slightly at someone else’s wedding, “Look, I get it. You couldn’t have me, so you settled for the next best thing.” He glanced vaguely towards the village hall. “But I’m back now. You can have me again.”

Tagging @sugdendeeznuts @livflahertydingle @jackiemerrick @bartonmatty @aaronsugdens @mellaithwen @maybemystcha @stuckinanothertimezone @capseycartwright @illbeyourreasonwhy @maybemystcha @jcforsapphics @madroxed @robertfagden @cylonbarnes