I AIN'T QUITTING YOU

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[ikhmenrah]

NATM incorrect quotes

~~

Larry, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Ahkmenrah, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK

++

Larry: God, give me patience.

Ahkmenrah: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Larry: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead and wouldn't wake up again

++

Larry: This is a mistake

Ahkmenrah, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Larry: But not today

Ahkmenrah, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

*Octavius and Jedediah laughing and giving more ice cream to the huns*

Larry: ...you had some alcohol in your chamber? is it still drinkable?

Ahkmenrah: Larry. It's wine. of course it is!

Larry: let's go then

++

Ahkmenrah: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Larry: Killed without hesitation.

Ahkmenrah: No? Guardian of Brooklyn...do you wanna talk about it?

Larry: No

++

Octavius: In my defense, I was left unsupervised

Larry: Wasn't Jedediah with you?

Jedediah: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

++

Octavius, whispering to Ahkmenrah, who’s on the phone with Larry: Ask them something!

Ahkmenrah: How are you feeling tonight guardian of Brooklyn?

Larry: Fine? you can call me just Larry Ahk. We have been friends for so long already!

Jedediah: Something personal!

Ahkmenrah: At what age did you first get your period?

Larry: ....Can you tell Octavius and Jedediah to go away?

++

Larry: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Ahkmenrah: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours, i'm so sorry

Octavius: I got distracted about halfway through

Jedediah: Ignoring you was a conscious decision gigantor

++

Attila: *Screams*

Larry: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Jedediah: Should we do something?!

Octavius, observing: No, I want to see who wins this

Teddy: We all know that our little Pharaoh would win that

Jedediah & Octavius: True, true

Ahkmenrah: ...I'm not that loud

Everyone, even Larry: Yes you are

++

Ahkmenrah: Larry, I'm sad.

Larry: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay baby

Jedediah: Octavius, I'm sad.

Octavius, nodding: mood.

++

Larry: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Larry and Ahkmenrah, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Jedediah: Our turn, Octavius! One, two, three- vanilla!

Octavius, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake

[angelofthenight]

Larry, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table at the museum: Tonight, we FEAST!

[angelofthenight]

Larry: you can’t just avoid doing things because it’s with people you hate.

Ahkmenrah: if I wanted to avoid doing things with people I hate then I would literally never leave my exhibit.

[angelofthenight]

Ahkmenrah, to the exhibits: you all should listen to me

Ahkmenrah: I’ve come up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed

[angelofthenight]

Ahkmenrah: you’re pulling an Ahkmenrah.

Teddy: Posting Larry’s credit card number on reddit because he said you looked tired?

Ahkmenrah: You know, I forgot I did that.

[angelofthenight]

Ahkmenrah: u ever think about how ur skeleton is always wet

Larry: I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life

Ahkmenrah: don’t worry! there will come a time when it’s not :)

Larry: Thanks! Even worse

[angelofthenight]

Ahkmenrah: *orders food in fluent Egyptian to impress his date*

McDonald’s drive-thru employee: What

[angelofthenight]

*At the zoo*

Ahkmenrah: what is this one in for?

Larry: this isn't a prison

Sacagawea: so they can leave?

Larry: well..no..

Jedediah: *points at a penguin* I bet this one killed a man

[angelofthenight]

You: Hey Ahk, are you a painting?

Ahkmenrah: ...No?

You: Because I’d like to nail you against the wall

Ahkmenrah: Oh thank god I thought you were going to say you wanted to hang me

[not-a-space-alien]

If I ever had a job where I got to spend all night with magical, animated museum exhibits that were all my treasured friends, I would simply not quit to run a business supplying trinkets to Wal Mart. RIP to Ben Stiller but I’m different 

[temporary-museum-night-guard]

The team on missions,,

[victorthecollector]

I am fucking crying and sobbing about these two tiny gays

[headcanons-at-the-museum]

Ahk has very dark gen z type humor. I feel like Nick would show him tiktoks of people joking about their depression and while anyone else in the museum would ask nick if he’s okay Ahk would watch it be like “lol same”

Omg okay I firmly believe in this too, I'm glad I'm not alone here lol

[headcanons-at-the-museum]

Ahk lived and died centuries before the rise and fall of the Roman Empire so I’m just imagining him innocently asking Octavius questions about Rome and Oct being like “ah yes, my civilization that in no way helped to destroy and take over yours, haha”

Oh god, he can never know 😂

[dankmemeuniversity]

[someplace-warm-deactivated20220]

A N G R Y

C A T F I S H

[jedscowboyhat]

imagine ahk seeing an electric and just 'angry catfish? angry catfish." and everyone else is??

[avatarmerida]

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

[futurakid]

[leg-stealing-bee]

[closetedguyy]

[knitordeath]

This hands down the best comment in the notes, I will not be taking criticism.

[song-of-sea-and-sky]

[rowenasredhair2]

[jedscowboyhat]

Happy Pride Month to every single one of the NATM characters. All of them are stone cold gay.