The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

You will really come to a point that you don't want to have any responsibility. Time that you only make effort for yourself and not because someone needs you. Sounds very selfish but tell me that I am after you wear and walk with my shoes on.

I tried for three years to be strong and independent. To be responsible and understanding. But now three years has passed but no one in my family ask if I can still do it. If I need help or do you want to rest for awhile and I will take care of it.

They messed up my life after my mom's death and now I am continuously reviving myself from those hardships. When I am tired, I will suddenly snap and remember everything and cry again. I am thinking maybe my past is still dragging me. But no, it's them that draining me.

You will be remembered because they need you. And when they are happy and fine they will not even tilt a bit to say hi. I am happy cos somehow it's me they remember with those hard times and am still there family.

But since I do not have the luxury of them. I don't have anyone to turn fo when I do not have any. Aside from him. But him that I don't want to get bothered with my dramas cos I know he have his.

I want to go far. Far from people who drains every part of me. I don't want to be with them for now. I am super tired of them. Super.

[jeinnyrouse]

And I blushed ❤️ no flowers or chocolates needed, your words gave me already butterflies.

[jeinnyrouse]

I DO NOT KNOW

It is so funny how things go but still I keep on giving excuses to the shortcomings you have. Your insensitive side that I do not know until when I can take. I keep on making things easy for you. Say yes to make you happy, will turn down everything just to be with you. But I think I need to learn things. But even which side, I'll lose. I do not know what to say anymore. Cos it is also not clear what am saying. The worth of me to you, I do not know.

[jeinnyrouse]

Backwards

It's drowning and overwhelming I tried to push and hold But in a snap I am breaking Slowly trod back where I should be but Being dragged by a stones that can end me. -The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

That moment will happen, where you just want to disappear. Be in place you don't know anyone. And there put yourself together.

[jeinnyrouse]

[jeinnyrouse]

You get to love this pizza 🍕

[jeinnyrouse]

MT. KATSU, Okinawa, Japan Subscribe on my YouTube account if you like the video/s :) 

[jeinnyrouse]

We may not have the same size Nor same road that we tackled on Yet our laces were entangled Once you stumble, I’m here.

-The Nada

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqC0lpKjhZ6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1we4fii33yj98

[jeinnyrouse]

#poetry #poemoftheday #poems #poemsofinstagram #poemsporn #poetryofinstagram #onelinerpoetry #poemcommunity #thenada #jeinnyrouse #poetryporn https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp-QGZ7Dlmx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lyiw0poe3x0p

[jeinnyrouse]

I understand, if you don't.

The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

When we lose someone there is something a part of us also being taken away. Heavy feelings and a tight grip in our heart happens every day but do not know until when. It is hard to accept and understand, the WHYs. Until you have no choice and left with hope. -The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

When you will never be good enough to his eyes. *shattered*

-The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

Puti na ang labi

Nanunuyo't na ang bibig

Mata'y nangangalumata

Katawan ay nanghihina na

Lantay na ang buto

Hintayin mo ang paalam ko.

-The Nada

[jeinnyrouse]

Losing someone is a battlefield, that even how much you get ready for it, either physically, mentally or emotionally, it will still fucking hurt.

The Nada

[adrenaline]

[jeinnyrouse]

Fight or Flight

After a long day you will end up in your room, alone. Even you don't want to, past is trying to come back, pain is always there, longing is hunting you. Asking Him if I can ask for one tight hug.

After my mom passed away all the responsibilities are already in my shoulder. I had a mourning nights but not long because I was too focused with what my siblings needs and took action. I can say that I didn't feel any tiredness or overdoing things because all I know that time was to provide.

Until, almost three years has passed and found myself crying still for the lost of my mom. I am not telling it to anyone because they might say to get over it and am OA. While am writing this I'm feeling all the pain. I don't know why, maybe because during those days I never had a chance to feel all the pain because I am too occupied with everything.

And it just now that it crawling to me every night. I have no one to turn to but only Him. I have no one to tell because I don't want to be burden with anyone. I know all of my friends is going through something, even my significant one or my family. It just tear me down every night. It is so painful. I want it to be gone.