THE BAU TRYING TO MAKE TIKTOKS TO RECRUIT YOUNG PROFILERS
(Requested by @lazyclumzycat-blog)
SPENCER: *Awkwardly flailing arms* Renegade, renegade, renegadeâ
GARCIA: Okay, stop stop stop. Spencer, sweetheart, what on earth are you doing with your arms?
SPENCER: This is the choreography you showed me!
GARCIA: Ok, mister, firstly, I donât appreciate the sass. And second, I said nothing about a crotch grab.
SPENCER: Morgan told me to do that.
MORGAN: I thought heâd look smoother if he channeled Michael Jackson. I realise now I was wrong.
EMILY: *Walks into Hotchâs office, filming.* Iâm so hungry I could eat Tracy Lambert.
EMILY: *Regretting* Oh, I⊠I was just recording something for Garcia, never mindâ
HOTCH: Did you just sayâ
HOTCH: Thatâs not funny, Emily.
EMILY: Right, no, of course not.
HOTCH: Reid hasnât looked at a bowl of Chilli the same way since.
EMILY: I wasnât trying toâ
HOTCH: Please leave my office.
MORGAN AND ELLE: *Posing and licking the barrel of their guns to BeyoncĂ©âs âSingle Ladiesâ.*
ROSSI: What the hell did I just walk in on?!
ELLE: Weâre recording a thirst trap.
MORGAN: Giving the people what they want. Hit the music again, I wanna try a smoulder this time.
ROSSI: *Watches in horror.*
ROSSI: Everyone told me not to come out of retirement. I wish to god Iâd listened.
TARA: âDenial is a river in Egypt your DOJ prosecutor is gay?â Thatâs what weâre going with?
GARCIA: Trust me, theyâll love it.
GIDEON: *Looks up to see Sergio perched on his desk.* Penelope. Why is there a small animal on my desk?
PENELOPE: Heâs gonna be a star. You have a good angle, could you get a shot of him meowing into the camera?
GIDEON: Remove this animal from my desk.
LUKE: *Standing awkwardly in the corner with Roxy.* Maybe we should scrap this one?
JJ: No, Garcia, I am absolutely not doing any more thirst tweets. I already have 2 children, I donât want to be the internetâs âmommyâ too.
EMILY: I volunteer as tribute.
SPENCER: So, how did we do?
GARCIA: Our account was banned.
EMILY: Yeah, that tracks.
Check out my Masterlist for more BAU scenarios! Requests are open :)
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