Jenny Likes TV

And has a shit ton to say about it.

[jennylikestv]

Designated Survivor: A Review In Tweets

Forever Dad: A New Fragrance by Kiefer Sutherland

Didn’t they already do this in Mars Attacks?

Married couples only fuck on network TV.

The older Kiefer Sutherland gets the younger his TV daughters get.

Didn’t Kal Penn actually work at the White House? Isn’t this, like, a downgrade?

Was this show funded by Donald Trump to keep us all scared?

I feel like TV shows about the White House cost more than the salaries of the entire U.S. Government.

“Is this show a commentary on how little the President actually matters?” - Meagan

Maggie Q hasn’t eaten since the 90s.

I can’t believe how sassy everyone is being to the “new guy” considering everyone they know just died. 

Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhh Kiefer Sutherland hasn’t punched through any walls yet THIS IS BORING.

I think Kiefer is wearing Warby Parker frames.

Do you think the “Scott” Maggie Q is looking for is Scott Evil?

The true test of whether a pilot is good or not is if I can swipe left while watching. This show FAILED. 

[jennylikestv]

This Is Us: Prepare to “Feel” Again

"This Is Us" has a kinda "oh, brother" energy about it that immediately made my stone cold heart want to reject it but then... something magical happened. I don't know if it's because I watched it late at night or because (as mentioned) I am freshly single or maybe it's because I saw Adele last night at MSG and she worked hard trying to open the jar to my dead heart but I was fully moved and this show popped that lid of emotions right off.

"This is Us" begins in full Crash fashion with a bunch of single stories: Mandy Moore and everyone's favorite Gilmore Girls boyfriend (if you're Team Dean or Logan U WRONG) giving birth to triplets, an obese woman struggling to lose weight, a complicated "hot" TV actor hating the shitty sitcom he stars in, and hotty hot hot Chris Darden (Sterling K. Brown) looking for his biological father. At first we are not sure how they are all connected aside from the fact that it's everyone's 36th birthday but as we chug along this emotionally manipulative episode, it all comes to LIGHT. I won't spoil the twist ending but let's just say time isn't always as it seems WINKY FACE WINKY FACE TONGUE EMOJI.

Huge shout out to this casting director because I was really very charmed by everyone's performances. Sterling K. Brown is an icon and a GEM, and I was particularly impressed by Chrissy Metz and Chris Sullivan who play a couple that meet in an Overeaters support group. If anything their budding romance is the storyline I would return to the show for.

There are a LOT of great monologues in this pilot so acting students of the world TAKE NOTE. One that particularly stood out was Mandy Moore and #TeamJess's doctor (Gerald McRaney) taking a note from Beyonce and teaching us how to make lemons into lemonade... I think... honestly I was very focused on trying to place this actor so I wasn't fully paying attention... but he was acting HARD and GOOD (it was “House of Cards”).

I was definitely manipulated into "feeling" or whatever while watching this show but I kinda didn't mind because I was engaged the whole time and it's always fun to have a huge "WAIT. WHAT?? NOOOO. OKAY. WOW. YOU GOT ME" moment while watching a pilot.

OVERALL: Definitely a strong pilot that will make your dead heart thump slightly.

[jennylikestv]

I have finally decided that if I LOVE TV why don't I make MY OWN???

Please help me get there! If you love TV and you want to see a show made by a TV lover, check out this video and this project and donate or share if you can!

[jennylikestv]

Jane The Virgin Is The Best

I've been so bogged down by all the bad TV airing this fall that I wasn't even motivated enough to blog about a lot of it. I heard some good buzz about Jane the Virgin and decided to check it out and HALLELUJAH a good show was born.

Jane the Virgin is an adaptation of a Venezuelan telenovela which makes sense when you learn the premise. 23 year-old Jane Villanueva (Gina Rodriguez) is a virgin who becomes accidentally artificially inseminated by an emotionally distraught gynecologist who mixes up her appointments. YEAH. Wrap your head around that shit. Even though that's an INSANE premise, the actors all deal with it in a very grounded and real way. This is something a lot of shows have been lacking. There are a lot of silly premises out there right now and they are all about the jokes and not much more.

No one pretends like Jane has to keep this baby. The word abortion is never said but it is certainly discussed. She even gets the necessary prescription and can take it at any time. She is hesitant not only due to moral reasons but because she finds out the father and his wife really want the baby and that due to a past battle with cancer he is shooting blanks (his sperm sample was pre-cancer). Yeah, that's legit. On top of that, her boyfriend proposes to her and tells her he doesn't want another person's baby (okay, also pretty legit albeit slightly insensitive). Hell, I would be conflicted. I would also sue the doctor for all the money but for some reason that is never discussed. 

This is just the basic story line. Now getting into the telenovela side of stuff is where the real fun is. The baby daddy's wife is EVIL and having an affair. The only reason she wants that baby is to guarantee their marriage lasts long enough for her to get the necessary money she wants from the divorce. Our pregnant protagonist works at the hotel the baby daddy just BOUGHT and they have a history of sharing a very romantic kiss when she was a teenager. ON TOP OF THAT, her now fiance is a cop with an evil brother who is threatening to reveal some kind of secret shit about him. YESSSS. KEEP ME POSTED. 

My favorite character is Jane's mom who is an aspiring singer/dancer. She got pregnant with Jane at 16 (hence Jane holding out on having sex) and has never told her the identity of the father. We find out at the end of the episode, he is a TELENOVELA STAR. DING DING DING!!!

The best part about this show being a telenovela is how much it is self aware it is a telenovela. Telenovelas are even a part of the show! We get to watch the telenovelas they watch and compare it to Jane's ridiculous situation. Jane even envisions herself in the telenovela. If you're going to adapt a telenovela, you gotta call it out and they do just that. IT'S GOOD. IT'S FUN. We should adapt all the telenovelas. Whoever's idea this was, you win the Jenny Likes TV award. TELENOVELAS PARA SIEMPRE.

[jennylikestv]

How To Get Away With Murder... When You're A Law Student And You Murdered Someone

"No no no you don't understand, you see they're in law school learning how to get away with murder AND they end up murdering somebody." - someone pitching this show to execs.

"How to Get Away with Murder" starts just like "I Know What You Did Last Summer" with hot young people trying to cover up a murder. We jump back three months and come to learn that these attractive people are law students at a made-up university and they are in a criminal law class with the very bad-ass Viola Davis. Now, I don't go to law school (clearly I spend my time watching TV) so I am not sure what the hell it is actually like but do your professors in Criminal Law 101 allow you to come work on their current cases? Is this a real thing or is it just something TV has decided is a thing. Viola Davis basically walks into her class and says, "Here's what's going down, what are your thoughts? Who can help me cuz we need it and I might as well take advantage of your young minds?" She tells them the students that do the best work helping her on this trial will be hired to come work for her. I guess if your a law professor and a practicing criminal lawyer, you should take advantage of that? Whatevs.

This sends all of our star-student murderer friends from before into a frenzy. They embark on a bunch of shenanigans to try and get new info on the case. Some of them S some D's for info and some of them make some phone calls so there's a slight discrepancy in commitment but that's okay. Our protagonist (?) who is apparently the kid in the Harry Potter movies thinks he has an idea and decides to go traipsing into Viola Davis' house late at night to tell her about it -- obviously this means he walks in on her boning a hot dude. This is all fine and sexy until we discover that she is MARRIED. Our Harry Potter friend feels weird about this and Viola Davis corners him in the bathroom of a party to explain there has been a lot of strain on her marriage and to please not tell anyone. It's kind of a heartbreaking scene and then I think she comes onto him? Right? Did I misread that?

Back in trial world, everything falls to shit. The star murderer students turn out some good stuff but it is trumped by surveillance footage of their client buying the murder weapon the night before. Everyone is pissy. Viola Davis, though, is not about to lose a trial. She manipulates her sexy side piece (who is revealed to be a police detective) into lying on the stand about the prosecutors tampering with video footage. And yay! They win! So... Viola Davis is good at her job? She's bad at her job? We like her? We hate her? Who knows?

Viola Davis congratulates all of her champion and murdering students at the end of the episode and invites them to come work for her. The very last scene we flash back to the kids burying the body and we see the body belongs to Viola Davis' husband so... WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I guess we have to find out next week on... How To Get Away With Murder When You're A Law Student Who Also Murdered Someone And That Someone Happens To Be Your Law Professor's Husband. Or you can just watch Legally Blonde 4 times in a row and feel way more fulfilled. Your call. 

[jennylikestv]

Black-ish Is Pretty Good-ish

Obviously any show about a family needs to really make sure its cast has chemistry. Not only do they need to be believable but they need to be loveable. I thought Black-ish did a great job at this. The casting directors for this show need to really pat themselves on the back because BRAVO. Anthony Anderson is so funny and is there anyone more beautiful and hilarious than Tracee Ellis Ross? But the true scene stealer of this show was his youngest daughter. Marsai Martin, you are a star in the making and so cute my face hurts. 

I do have to admit I was a little nervous that this show would just be obvious jokes (when white people do this it's like this and when black people do this it's like this) but it was actually very sincere and clever. It reminded me of Modern Family in how they are able to play up a very silly and sometimes obvious joke but the performances are so good and there's so much heart in it that it's okay. 

Andre Johnson (Anthony Anderson) is about to receive a promotion at his job in a prominent ad agency and he is so excited to be the first black Senior Vice President at his company. Although when the promotion is announced, his official title is Senior Vice President of the Urban Division. The word "urban" causes him to lash out at his wife and children about staying in touch with their black roots and not being a puppet to the white man. His teenage son wants to play field hockey instead of basketball, call himself Andy instead of Andre, and have a Bat Mitzvah. Anthony Anderson does NOT react well to this and instead makes him dress in African garb and perform an African ritual he has no idea how to do. He even sabotages a presentation at his work to make a point and ends up in danger of losing his job. 

At the end of the episode, he comes around and realizes that he can still make a difference in his company and that the most important thing he can do is provide for his family and help them figure out who they are, even if that means throwing them a Bar Mitzvah. It was sweet and smart and even though I am not black, I related to the difficulty of trying to stay true to who you are in a corporate environment or within a family. Also CUTE KID alert. Check it out. 

[jennylikestv]

Madam Secretary

This show begins by showing us how super casual, laid back, and grounded Tea Leoni is. She's a sassy, smart college professor with a hot as hell husband, two smart and articulate children, a J. Crew wardrobe to DIE for, and horses that she takes care of HERSELF. DAMN. 

But this show isn't called J. Crew Mom. After the Secretary of State's plane goes down over Venezuela (I think?), the President comes to Tea Leoni's beautiful kitchen to ask her to step in as the new Secretary of State because, as we've established, she's super fly and has horses and is sassy and grounded aka IDEAL.

Next thing we know, we're in the White House walking and talking with a slew of actors who were grabbed from other White House shows or Super Troopers. Since Tea Leoni is used to being a strong, independent women, she doesn't like having staff tell her what to do or that she needs a stylists, you know? She is here to do the WORK, not to play the White House game. It's hard out here for a Madam Secretary. Not to mention the Chief of Staff is a real PRICK who is trying to keep her in CHECK. This guy is giving us more Cyrus Beene than Leo McGarry and that makes me NERVOUS. 

Two very handsome young Abercrombie-wearing students are captured in Syria and Tea Leoni knows she can get them back but Chief of Staff guy is not letting her make any decisions so she decides to act against his wishes and directly approach the President (when he is in his late-night super casual outfit MEOW) and gets permission to do her plan and not the Chief of Staff's plan. THE BATTLE BEGINS. 

Meanwhile, we find out through Tea's CIA friend that the former Secretary of State's plane crash was PLANNED by someone INSIDE the White House. The mystery of who the White House rat is BEGINS. NOW, 45 minutes later, we know what the show is going to be about. 

In the end the kids make it home safe, the Chief of Staff is peeved but like not THAT peeved, Tea tells some African Leader to maybe chill on the wives (I think?), and we find out the CIA friend who revealed the info on the plane crash is now DEAD. Dun dun dunnnn. 

I don't know, it was a little slow for a White House show. I mean I'm sure if someone ever made a realistic show about the White House, it would just be people processing paper work but that's why no one watches C-Span and everyone watches Scandal. I will give it another episode to see if it picks up. I'm gonna need way more murders or way more more inspirational speeches to get me invested in this one. 

[jennylikestv]

The Mysteries of Laura: Working Moms, Amiright???

You know, I don't totally hate the concept for this show. I like the idea of seeing a lady cop struggle with being a mom. I think. Right? Seems kinda fun. And Debra Messing? Who doesn't like Debra Messing? - Every Executive that put this show on the air. 

Well, unfortunately, this loosely developed premise doesn't really work. It felt like a bunch of people in a room making Manhattan Mom jokes and then a bunch of people in another room frantically trying to figure what homicide detectives do, and no one succeeding.

If you're going to have a parody cop show, you at least still need an interesting mystery to solve. Debra Messing and her boss/mentor (Enrico Colantoni) answer a house call (?!?!!) at a mansion in Westchester for a man who is, like, pretty sure someone is trying to murder him. I guess this is something homicide detectives spend time doing? Making house calls to paranoid rich people? Thankfully, their trip upstate isn't all for naught because while they are there, he does indeed get murdered by someone in the house! THAT'S RIGHT. They attend a LEGIT Murder Mystery Dinner Party. 

So they spend the rest of the episode following around and questioning everyone at the party. Hi-jinx alert!!! Meanwhile, Debra Messing's kids get kicked out of pre-school and she has to find them a new one!!!! In New York City?!?! That's IMPOSSIBLE. Way harder than solving a Murder Mystery Dinner Party, amiright????

After many red herrings involving people at the house, the gang decides that all the evidence leads to the wife being the murderer. But Debra isn't feeling it. She's got that woman scorned intuition. So who else could it be?

I want to reveal who it was because literally it's one of the worst twists I've ever seen on TV but I will let you have that experience on your own. Just know that instead of arresting the culprit privately, Debra Messing decides to make a spectacle and accuse and arrest this person while giving a speech at the funeral for the victim. Cuz like, YOU GOTTA.

If you are into shows with really spotty police mysteries stolen from the film Clue and terrible Mom jokes, you might like this. Otherwise, I would say skip this one and wait til next season's attempt at a Debra Messing comeback. 

[jennylikestv]

Red Band Society: Terminally Ill Teenagers and Cliches

While I was watching this, a trailer for "The Fault In Our Stars" DVD came on and it all clicked. THIS is why this show got green lit (okay my boyfriend said it but I also thought it). How do I feel about that? A little complicated. I mean, why are we interested in terminally ill teenagers? I don't totally want to explore that, that's not my job, but like we kinda have an obsession. Like vampires and super heroes, we just got a thing, okay?

I really wasn't paying enough attention to get names so here's what I got: there's a new kid in the ward who is about to have surgery to have his leg amputated (very upsetting). His roommate is a kid who already has had his leg amputated (equally upsetting) so VOILA friendship. They have a friend with lung cancer and an old man friend who lives upstairs and is a hippy who I guess must also have cancer? I wasn't totally sure what he was there for. Also this ward is FANCY. It's like rehab in Malibu-style NICE. Anyway, there's also a random eating disorder girl (WHAT does it feel like to get cast as the girl with an eating disorder, GOOD or BAD?) and a bitchy cheerleader with a broken arm wandering around yelling at people because we would all be lost on a TV show without one.  

The most important detail, however, is that our narrator is a kid in a coma. He likes to jump in and crack jokes as well as deliver some poignant thoughts. He tells us what to think and how to feel about all these characters even though he's like 9 or something. Also he has gas... which I was cool with. I like fart jokes. 

So, the kid with no leg decides to throw a party for the kid about to lose his leg. Antics ensue! Because just because you are a terminally ill teenager doesn't mean you can't have fun! They try and buy beer illegally WHOA. They hit on the nurses HUH. They make JOKES and say stuff WTF???

Just because your show has a hook or a niche, doesn't mean you can write the same terrible show about high school kids we see every year and pass it off as new and edgy. I literally thought every scene was the last scene because someone said something emotional and triumphant music played. But it didn't... it went on for an hour. 

I feel bad saying I didn't like this show because it makes me feel like I am saying I don't like terminally ill children but therein lies the problem with this show. No thank you, Red Band Society, I shall pass. 

Also I didn't mention Octavia Spencer because she just stood around with an admiration/pity face for the children the whole time and didn't say anything.

[jennylikestv]

What I Think Happened On The Shows I Stopped Watching Part 2

1.) Weeds

When I stopped watching:

I truly don't know. I wanna say season 5. That's the season in Mexico with the governor, yeah? 

What I think happened:

The Botwins decide this isn't working so they move back to California and all go to Community college and get their degrees in Psychology and become a family unit that does family counseling. 

Their slogan for their daytime TV commercial is, The Botwins: We've Been There. 

Did she end up with Justin Kirk? In my fantasy, every day is with Justin Kirk. Just long, luxurious days full of laughter and eye twinkles and Justin Kirk.

2.) House of Cards

When I stopped watching:

I think I had 3 or 4 episodes left of Season 2 when I closed the computer and never went back.

What I think happened:

Meechum kills Underwood, effs Claire, and takes the Iron Throne... sorry, the Presidency for himself.

Zoe comes back from the dead and eats exclusively Government employees' brains. 

3.) Glee

When I stopped watching:

Hell if I know. I think when they went to New York I said NOPE.

What I think happened:

Everyone that moved to New York realizes that, eh, it's not that great so they move to sunny Miami where they perform at Nightclubs and do exclusively Gloria Estefan numbers.

Jane Lynch stays in Ohio with all the new kids or whatever and eventually euthanizes them because literally no one cares. 

4.) Community

When I stopped watching:

I stuck through the Dan Harmon-less season and then when he came back, I just didn't have it in me. 

What I think happened:

An episode where they all guest star on The Soup. 

An episode where they find a shrinking machine and go inside Abed's body.

An episode where they go into a Sims-like computer game and only go to work and pee on the floor for 30 minutes. 

5.) Real Housewives of New Jersey

When I stopped watching:

When there were 2 husbands named Joe.

What I think happened: 

Melissa and Teresa and their Joe husbands decide to put aside their differences and open up a mom & pop tanning salon where they make their combined 16 children work 12 hour shifts.

Jacquelyn leaves because she was always better than this shit and everyone else disappears Back to the Future-style because I go back in time and stop them from ever existing. 

[jennylikestv]

What I Think Happened On The Shows I Stopped Watching

1.) Homeland

When I stopped watching:

After Season 2. I maybe watched the first episode of Season 3 and then got too depressed.

What I think happened:

Brody and Carrie start a long distance pen-pal relationship in which he slowly sends her evidence of his innocence. Brody's daughter reports the President's (?) son for vehicular manslaughter and writes a tell all book about it and becomes an internet sensation.

2.) Scandal 

When I stopped watching:

Halfway through Season 3. Whatever Season just happened.

What I think happened:

Olivia finally comes to her senses and starts hooking up with Jake on the reg. Her mom and dad rekindle and plan on renewing their vows. Quinn finds out she's pregnant and she and the only assassin in DC decide to move to the suburbs and raise their little one.

3.) Revenge

When I stopped watching:

This one is tricky as I stopped watching halfway through season 2 but randomly watched episodes from last season.

What I think happened: 

Emily and Victoria finally decided to become the ultimate power-duo and spend their energies attacking the lower class instead of each other. Everyone else dies because they were truly so boring. Except for Nolan. Nolan forever.

4.) Derek

When I stopped watching:

After the first episode of Season 2. Because... you guys... no.

What I think happened:

Derek and his dad kill that terrible, perverted drunk guy that hangs out at the home and they go on a Thelma and Louise-style escape road trip. Someone buys Hannah a nice dress. 

5.) The Killing

When I stopped watching:

After Season 1. 

What I think happened:

Rosie Larsen went to Narnia and when she comes back she's like "I don't understand. I was old. I was a queen." 

[jennylikestv]

Fox Fall Preview

Alright let's see what the crackpots at Fox are dreaming about this Fall. 

Wayward Pines

I thought we lost trust in M. Night? Right? Do we really need a show about people being trapped in purgatory or something again? Let's all just place our bets on what Wayward Pines is: a dream? Hell? Heaven? a short story by James Franco? the Australian outback? The Truman Show II? The cold open to an Awards Show? A Jimmy Kimmel prank? DM me! Let's put money on this shizzzz xoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

Gotham

What up, Ryan? An acting teacher I had was infatuated with Ben McKenzie and he used to tell a story about how they were friends and Ben McKenzie would say he was gonna quit the biz if he didn't book anything by 26 and then he wore a cowboy hat or something to his O.C. audition and booked it and they met up in the park the day before it aired and he told Ben McKenzie, "Enjoy this moment because next time you walk through this park, everyone will know who you are." Or something like that. ANYWAY, I guarantee that story is more interesting than this show will be. I have something controversial to say and it's I.DON'T. CARE. ABOUT. SUPERHEROES. This is like Once Upon a Time with Batman characters and it's stupid and I hate it.

Hieroglyph

You know... I just can't. I don't even have anything clever to say here. I guess magic and sex and togas are involved so it can't be all bad but... no yeah it looks bad.

Empire

Does Terrence Howard have some weird contract with Fox right now? Why is he all over my Fox Fall Preview? He makes me feel... weird. Am I wrong? Anyway, this kind of looks like "Smash" in the R&B/Hip Hop world. Are we getting original songs here? That part of it I can get behind. Although I expect it to have about the same life expectancy as "Smash." It also has to be acknowledged that Jonathan from Buffy is a creator. 

Gracepoint

Wait. Didn't I watch this show already? Isn't it called The Killing? Isn't it called Twin Peaks? Isn't it called Top of the Lake? Granted I AM a sucker for these kinds of shows so I'll probably watch it... I WANNA KNOW WHO DUNNIT GAWWWWW.

Mulaney

Yes, it has already been pointed out to me that this is Seinfeld. And yeah, it does seem to really be Seinfeld. I also just, sigh, don't need anymore sitcom acting in my life. I don't know... I really like John Mulaney and I really like Martin Short. I will definitely give it a shot even if it is just recycled Mulaney stand up we've all heard IT'S STILL REALLY GOOD I LOVE NEW IN TOWN OKAY and middle America hasn't heard it yet so give them a chance to have some fun. They deserve it!

Backstrom

Wow, I guess we as a culture only like to watch detectives. Or I guess Fox thinks that's all we wanna watch, but I'm kinda thinking it's all we like to watch. So Dwight is a kooky alcoholic detective who HUGE SURPRISE is also really good at his job. This is like Sherlock light... but with Dwight. He's not wearing his glasses so I guess I'll buy him as an a-hole detective as opposed to an a-hole paper salesmen. 

I don't where the comedies are. What's up Fox? Morbid much? GEEZ. I'll watch the missing kid one, Hip Hop Smash, and Mulaney. Everything else I've already forgotten about. 

[jennylikestv]

NBC Fall Preview

Alright alright alright. It's that time of year. Time for Network TV to start teasing us with shows starring people we used to watch on other TV shows that will most likely be cancelled by this time next year. Let's check out who NBC decided was worthy enough to grace our screens this Fall.

A to Z

Here's a show that looks like a Rom Com except it's a show so... I guess that means 22 episodes/year of a Rom Com. Haven't we decided this genre is dead? Anything that starts off saying "he's a guy's guy and she's a girl girl" immediately needs to re-examine itself. I don't know about you but I immediately checked out when a "My Heart Will Go On" joke was made. These 2 actors seem likeable but something about it just makes me want to tear my hair out and watch "Spring Breakers" on repeat to get it out of my system. On to the next.

Bad Judge

This is literally just "Bad Teacher," right? Except with a judge. Did NBC find out CBS was making a "Bad Teacher" show and just decide to do it anyway. I mean... I liked the idea of the movie "Bad Teacher" except the movie itself ended up being terrible. I am glad the premise is being given another chance and with someone as talented as Ari Graynor but this just seems like the sad rip off. I guess we'll see which show about a hot woman doing a really important job even though she's a mess in her personal life and actually doesn't care about her really important job WILL WIN.

Constantine

Yo, does this seem dumb or cool? DUMB OR COOL??? I don't know. Probably dumb, right? I don't know some parts seem cool. My only beef with superhero or action shows on TV is they simply don't have the same budget as an actual action film so it ends up looking less impressive. I don't know... if they can figure out how to Joss Whedon this stuff and make it campy and clever, I'll get on board, otherwise it's just another shitty super hero with shitty special effects. 

Marry Me

"Hey! I like these people, I've known them to be funny in the past," an NBC exec hopes I'll say. I don't know... this also seems like another Rom Com show but at least with a little more bite to it. Yes, I do like these people. OKAY NBC. I will give it a shot just for that so DON'T eff this up. 

The Mysteries of Laura

You know, I don't HATE this idea. I don't know if it's going to be executed right but I kinda like the idea of a homicide cop comedy. I think it's going to come down to if we can buy Debra Messing as a homicide cop. We know she's funny but it looks like in order for this show to work we're gonna have to believe she's good at her job. And can I just say this joke with the room covered in blood that turns out to be paint from her children is actually really weird and morbid... this show is walking a weird line and I kinda dig it.

State of Affairs 

Have we decided to let Katherine Heigl back into our hearts? What's the consensus on that? What'd she do again? She was high maintenance on Grey's? Eh, I don't know. She kinda seems to be really workin' for it in this preview and, come on, you know you LOVED "Wish Upon A Star" when you were little. Vulture called this "Homeland" light and that does indeed look like what they are going for. Hey, I am down for Alfre Woodard as President and I am down to see some fierce women use their big girl voices and get shit done. I am ready to forgive and forget and let Katherine Heigl show me who's boss. 

All in all, three out of six of those shows is featuring a strong female lead so I can definitely get behind that. If I am going to choose one Rom Com to watch on NBC this Fall, I choose the one with my friends. As for Super Heroes, GIANT SIGH unless they bring a solid level of clever.  

[jennylikestv]

SNL Recap: Lady Gaga

by Jenny

I will start this by saying I have a very soft spot in my heart for Lady Gaga mainly because I ended up at the Monster Ball tour at Nassau Coliseum in Long Island by chance one rainy April night in 2011 and it was AMAZING. I chugged Four Lokos on the LIRR and later went on to pee in a solo cup BUT that’s neither here nor there. What’s here is Lady Gaga hosting SNL and, just like her VMA performance, I expected to roll my eyes a lot more. I only did a few times so I would consider that a SUCCESS. Her opener was LOVELY! She gave us some HELLA singing, she looked fantastic, and the bit was cute. Strong start, Gaga. For some reason it’s not on Hulu. Literally I don’t understand Hulu.

The cold open nailed it. Does everyone else feel a strong warmth towards Bobby Moynihan? I just really want to have him over for dinner and drink some beers and snuggle. Anyone else? His Mayor Rob Ford impression was so necessary. A mayor that smokes crack is truly such a gift for SNL. Thank you for giving America some great sketch comedy, Mayor Ford. You do you.

The Obama Anti-Depression commercial was pretty cute. The depression commercial parody is a sketch go-to but this one was specific enough that it played pretty well.

The highlight of the Kimye sketch was definitely the band. Thank you to the one playing the box of rice. Nasim and Jay clearly do great impressions and there was a lovely meta shout out about fashion from Lady Gaga but let’s just say it’s VERY CLEAR Lady Gaga went to musical theater school. This sketch was fine. 

Okay. R. Kelly. Can anyone forget about the peeing? Is it possible? I don’t know. This performance definitely didn’t help me forget. I thought of it the whole time. It’s too bad too because I am super into this song. Also is Lady Gaga trying to be Hedwig with that wig? Really though. Did she steal Hedwig’s wig and maybe some of her dance moves? PLEASE GET BACK TO ME.

Weekend Update had, personally for me, the highlight of the show: Jebediah Atkinson the speech critic. Taran Killam has lately felt dead inside to me but this character really reminded me of his Robyn “Call Your Girlfriend” days and that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

This co-op board sketch was a MESS. Just a huge big, weird, unneccesary mess. I think it may have been an excuse for Lady Gaga to do a Marisa Tomei impression. Those of us who are familiar with the Monster Ball tour know that Lady Gaga is a big Marisa Tomei fan. 

The Spotlightz Acting Camp was kinda perfect. I could watch Vanessa Bayer be a child actor for DAYS. Lady Gaga was pretty good in this one too which makes sense considering her background (**cough**NYU**cough**).

THANK YOU to the straight webseries guys in charge of the digital shorts for this one. This one got weird in all the right ways. I honestly grieved the passing of Blockbuster and it was so good to see a proper farewell to it and all the gage-wearing employees we will see at Best Buy now. This is probably my favorite digital short thus far.

"Gypsy" is also a really good song. I am getting on the ARTPOP train in case that wasn’t clear. She is wooing me back and am fully drinking the Kool-Aid. Thank you to Nicole (writer of the gorgeous DWTS recaps) for pointing out that they clearly did not rehearse with the technicolor dream collar and the guitar player sitting on the bench next to her was unclear on how to handle it.

The 4th Grade Talent Show was pretty cute. Stage parents are normally a pretty solid bit. I like dancing. I don’t know, whatever, it was fine. Not super memorable but HEY that’s cool. We need 4th Grade Talent Show so we can fully embrace the strange monstrosity of the final sketch.

I don’t know why the last sketch is not on Hulu but do yourself a favor and find it because GUYS it was WEIRD and DARK and an homage to the opening of Amadeus and I think I liked it but also I felt weird. It took place in the future and Lady Gaga was a crazy, old woman who no one remembered and she kept trying to jog Kenan’s memory as to who she was by singing some classics and putting deli meat on her body. I deeply love Amadeus so I kinda loved it and Lady Gaga was once again #hamming this shit up so maybe it was genius? I feel conflicted.

Also the Rose Zone was perfect so thank you to whatever one female writer gave us this gift.

In conclusion, Lady Gaga was lovely. She might still rub you the wrong way and I don’t blame you for it but she is living her life and making great dance music and girlfriend is a PERFORMER and she SELLS it and I appreciate that.  I think the writing was pretty good all around this episode too. I could’ve done with less Kimye and I would’ve never put that Co-Op Board sketch on but overall I was INTO IT.

There is one final sketch missing from Hulu that was a commercial for a CD compilation of the worst covers in history. It gave me my second hardest laugh of the night which was Kenan as Rick Ross singing the “Cups” song from Pitch Perfect. PLEASE FIND IT.

[jennylikestv]

Dancing With The Stars by Nicole: Week 9

guest blogged by Nicole 

This week's show opened with an extremely stupid gimmick because they didn't have Cher anymore so like what else were they supposed to do? Each couple did an "opening move" which were moves you'd do if you were inside a dance floor circle at a wedding. People were supposed to tweet their faves and then later in the show they would reveal who's dance had the most tweets!!!! LOL TWITTER!!!! SO FUN! SO CURRENT ABC! Mercedes was the most tweeted about THANK GOD. In addition to doing a normal dance the pairs ALSO had to do a trio dance this week and add another pro into the mix. Every1 was scared about learning two dances but that's the nature of the show, ya'll! We may have less dancers, but ABC still has two hours to fill!

Amber Riley & Derek Hough

Miss Amber is very happy about making it this far in the competition. She said her confidence has soared and she will carry it with her for the rest of her life! YAAAAASSSSS GIRL! I'm sorry that Glee did not utilize you and that Lea Michele got to sing every good song but now you have risen to the top of Dancing With The Stars - SEASON 17!!!!! The sky's the limit Mercedes! Her knees are still hurting this week so they don't have as much actual rehearsing time as they want because they need to take it easy. She was wearing a beautiful long champagne colored fringe Gatsby dress (because literally the ONLY two style directions for ladies on this show are Mayzie LaBird or Great Gatsby) which I loved but girl was dancing the quickstep and I actually thought having such a long dress was a terrible idea because I couldn't really see what her feet were doing.  Maybe that was intentional because of the knee stuff? Emmy Award Winner Derek Hough did a one handed cartwheel that was pretty impressive. 

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani

Before we head into Leah's dance Brooke (who I literally don't think I've ever mentioned...step up your game girl! Stop letting Tom Bergeron outshine/outmonster you) asked Jack, Bill, and Leah how they feel about still being in the competition even though they continually get lower scores than people who have been voted out (SNOOKI!). They thanked their fans and all that BS but I'm glad they brought it up because it is A CRIME BILL ENGVALL IS STILL DANCING AND SNOOKI ISN'T. We have another Bill situation starting in Leah where she is now starting to think she might have a chance at winning. GIRL WE ALL LOVE AN UNDERDOG, KEEP THAT NEWFOUND CONFIDENCE TO YOURSELF. She had a blood red set of long sleeves this week which was paired with a turtle neck situation. Basically Leah's upper body was closed for business this week and I liked that. The whole outfit wasn't too far off from this gem: 

#gaga #moonman

The last thing you need to know is that Bruno called Leah "Lisa" during judging. WOW BYEEEEEEEE. 

Corbin Bleu & Karina Smirnoff

Corbin and Karina are worried because they're doing another waltz this week and they got DISASTROUSLY LOW SCORES on their previous Game of Thrones waltz. OMG WILL THEY BE ABLE TO REDEEM THEMSELVES?!?! They danced to a slowed down version of the It's Too Late to Apologize song so that was terrible. She wore a pretty white dress and did a lot of poses a statue in a music box might do. Carrie Ann said it was dreamy and I agree, because I thought it was a REAL SNOOZE! YUK YUK YUK. 

Jack Osbourne & Cheryl Burke

The dancer with my ideal physical body type on a man is back and this week it was my boo Jack Osbourne's 28th birthday! BAE!!!! Jack looks like every barista in Brooklyn that I have ever wanted to bone as I was ordering a breakfast pastry. Please get him a featured guest spot on Girls immediately. Jack was giving some GOOD FACE in his dance this week.  He was sweating and he had pit stains and I became more infatuated with him because love is messy you guys. He gets two 9's and a 10 and he is actually so moved and pleased. It is sweet as fuck. JACK, CALL ME!!!!

Bill Engvall & Emma Slater

Ok enough already, Bill Engvall.  You need to step up you're game or get out. At one point during their rehearsal he insinuates that Emma being a first time pro on the show is one of the challenges they face. NO BOO. YOUR DIFFICULTY IS THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DANCE LIKE CORBIN BLEU. Emma decides to do another cheeky fun dance with a story because Bill "always does best when he gets to play a character" aka doesn't have to show any dance skill. They have a laundry drying line and dance to Yakety Yak and Bill continues to prove that even great choreography can't hide bad dancing. She is fierce but I get full body shudders every time he lifts her because shit looks UNSTABLE. Bill Engvall gets all 7s. The jig is up. He needs to leave. 

Elizabeth Berkley Lauren & Valentin Chmerkovskiy

Val continues to try and dampen the light that is Queen Nomi this week by cracking jokes about how she needs to be quiet and listen in order for them to communicate better during rehearsal. Look, I don't like when ANY MAN TELLS A WOMAN TO BE QUIET but I can also fully see Elizabeth being an alien and talking about their souls connecting for hours in a way that shuts Val down. So I guess the lesson is compromise is good. Elizabeth is wearing a white wedding dress and Val is in a suit and they look like beautiful cake toppers. They did some great spins, showed some lovely emotion and did an overall great job. Val carries her over a threshold at the end of the dance to drive home the wedding theme and everyone likes it.  Len tells Queen Nomi that he's her favorite dancer in the competition which is the first smart thing he's said all season. 

Trio Dances 

Then from here we move into the Trio Dances. Amber wears a nice bee colored outfit and the two dudes lift her and she nails shit. She looks like she had way more fun in this dance than in the regular dance. She didn't get any 10s which is bullshit. Leah Remini has the FUN AND ZANY IDEA to do a dance parodying the three judges. HA HA HA. NOW THAT IS COMEDY PEOPLE. ANDY KAUFMAN WHO?  GEORGE CARLIN WHAT? LEAH REMINI 4EVER. The judges thought it was SO FUNNY. UGH. Corbin lived out his Ben Vereen Bob Fosse dreams and had two female back up dancers and they all wore hats and danced to a jazz version of Yea by Usher. Carrie Ann said it was the best dance she ever saw on the show (whatever) and they thank him for bringing fosse to a younger audience and they get a prefect score OK BYE.  Jack does a Tarzan themed dance (?) and the ladies play his butt like the bongos even though he's not thrilled about it.  Bill's dance is some Katy Perry Willy Wonka bullshit and he again gets all 7s.

Closing Thoughts:

Who can I send ideas to if I have celebrities I want to see dance on this shit? I really want to see Retta do this. SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO RETTA'S PEOPLE AND MAKE THIS HAPPEN. An eyeliner free Kellie Pickler drops in to tell us she's gonna come back for a song or dance or some bullshit on the season finale because I guess she won one of these? 

This show should really take a page out of the old Who's Line is it Anyway book and get on board with the fact that all the scores are made up and the points don't matter because that's what's happening here. That should be the tagline for this show. STOP TRYING TO PRETEND ABC. 

IN THE WORLD'S MOST BULLSHIT TRAGIC NEWS QUEEN NOMI GETS VOTED OUT. YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. First Snooki and now Nomi. I HATE THIS SHOW. I HATE IT SO MUCH. IF MERCEDES DOESN'T WIN I WILL CRY FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS AND BOYCOTT ABC FOREVER. LONG LIVE THE NEW QUEEN MERCEDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jennylikestv]

Dancing With The Stars by Nicole: Week 8

guest blogged by Nicole 

IT'S CHER NIGHT YA'LL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES! This week on Dancing With The Stars not only is Cher filling in for Len as a judge AND performing, but ALL THE DANCES ARE TO CHER SONGS. Thank you to the Gay Gods for smiling down upon us and showing us such good fortune. I firstly would just like to take a moment of silence for Snooki because it is a CRIME she didn't get to dance to a Cher classic. 

The show opened with a huge wall of Cher's face and a Cher collage on the floor.  Miss Cher sang along with a VERY loud track of autotune originator "Believe". YES BITCH. She was wearing a Chevron fringe sparkle dress that your fun aunt would wear on New Year's Eve. Now, I have had the privilege of seeing Miss Cher live in Las Vegas (if you ever doubted me) and this performance reminded me a lot of that. Walk to your mark, belt, walk to the next mark, belt, repeat. Cher doesn't need to dance or exert any effort, she's Cher! Also, I don't know what dark lady black magic she's using but she looks amazing. Cher's Doctor, please expect a call from me in 40 years, boo!

Corbin Bleu & Karina Smirnoff

This week during rehearsals golden boy Corbin is DISTRACTED because he's producing a movie. His phone kept ringing and at one point he took a call and told the cameras to stop filming like what he was saying was actually important. CHILL CORBIN. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. He and Karina danced to a song from Showgirls 2 better known as Burlesque. Corbin lifted her way up high and far away from his body at one point and flew her up above his head and it all looked very hard and impressive.  WE GET IT CORBIN YOU'RE GOOD AT YOUR JOB. He plugged his movie he's producing called The Day I Died which is apparently a documentary about bullying. They're raising money on indiegogo (bye) and have a $500,000 goal (double bye).  Cher had a costume change for judging (obvs) and wore a very professional blazer with these blue and green swirly cuffs which everyone in my apartment was very excited about.  She also must have gotten confused because when it was her time to give her score she said "Cher. Nine". You don't need to say you're name first girl, we know you're Cher!

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani

Leah is taking it easy breezy this week and dancing to I Got You Babe. Their dance is inspired by Sonny and Cher seeing each other for the first time at a coffee shop and falling in love. They have a cute little soda pop shop set for this shit because nothing says "young love" like two grown adults at a soda pop shop. I'm sad that they still had some live singers working this episode, they should have just paid the rights for all the actual Cher songs for all the dances. I can't imagine these singers were excited about butchering Cher songs live in front of Miss Cher herself.  Leah's dance was slooooooow but she did wear an elegant light peach dress that not only had long sleeves, it also had extra drapey fabric ON the sleeves for that extra touch of class. An excess of fabric on the arms for everyone! Hear, hear!

Brant Daugherty & Peta Murgatroyd

This week we get the pleasure of visiting the hot guy at the Pretty Little Liars set. Awwww, Brant! So cute babe! Brant wears a lovely dick colored leisure suit in this week's dance and the judges congratulate him on having a "natural star quality" which is a huge and terrible lie. Brant remains true to himself and has so much self tanner on this week that his face looks like a giant tangerine with teeth. He got all 9's. WHATEVER. I CAN'T ANYMORE. 

Elizabeth Berkley Lauren & Valentin Chmerkovskiy

This week Elizabeth and Val picked a song and started working but then Elizabeth decided she wanted to change their song (DRAMA!) because she said she "couldn't give up the chance to do a jazz dance to Bang, Bang" YES ELIZABETH. LIVE UR DREAMS GIRL. She is such a perfectionist and I love to see her inner darkness come through in their rehearsals. She is a true White Swan.  If Elizabeth Berkley doesn't do a dance to a song off the Black Swan soundtrack at some point my whole life will have been a waste. The dance was great, she wore a pantsuit and she threw her body all over that stage. Cher commented that she liked the "roughness" of the dance and then must have cursed because she was bleeped out for a long time and when we got audio back Elizabeth was crying and thanking Cher on behalf of women everywhere YES!!!!!!!!!!! CHER!!!!!!!!!!!! I like to also imagine that Cher was very excited to see Queen Nomi perform after a lifetime of having her hair and makeup artists begging to rewatch Showgirls snuggled together in Cher's various hotel beds. Queen Nomi thanked everyone for giving her this opportunity to learn and grow and we all cried.  

Bill Engvall & Emma Slater

Bill Engvall had his beautiful old white guy body wrapped up in a silky white top for this dance. You guys, I just can't anymore. He was almost charming in the beginning before he got it in his head that he might win.  But now he's a monster and he's trying and I want it all to stop. They did a disco theme dance with some moves straight off of a wedding reception dance floor. At one point Emma was literally hanging off of his body with her legs wrapped around his neck which looked dangerous as hell. He HAS to go. I know the red states are keeping him in the race but COME ON. 

Jack Osbourne & Cheryl Burke

This week we learn that Cheryl Burke is named after Cher! Awwwww, that's precious babe!!!!! Cher Jr. and the future father of my children did a tango to The Beat Goes On and the best part of their dance was that they had these light panels on the stage and one panel was fully broken and was completely dark. RIP to the intern who was responsible. Get it together ABC. It was like at the last winter Olympic opening ceremony that had that one piece of the statue that didn't rise from the floor. But this was obviously much more important than the Olympics because this is Dancing With The Stars Season 17. My bf Jack is still a very stiff dancer and always looks like he's counting out the steps in his head but I love his gentle and caring nature. They showed a clip from their rehearsal of Jack making a "Do You Believe In Life After Love" joke and Cheryl didn't get it and it didn't really seem like Cher thought it was funny because I guess when you are a legend you are sensitive about people knowing your work. My boo got all 9s cuz he FIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE. Honestly so sorry. 

Amber Riley & Derek Hough

I'm worried you guys; Miss Amber has a tear in her knee.  I desperately want her to win or to at least place second to Queen Nomi but I don't want her to break her knees for the rest of time either! She's dancing to If I Could Turn Back Time and Derek Hough is dressed like a sailor and a million gay angels got their wings for creating such a divine experience. Amber had a beautiful leather skirt on and even though she was in pain girl turned it out cause she's a muthafuckin professional. I just have to say that if Snooki lasted and danced to this song this week you KNOW they would have had a way bigger production budget and they would have given that girl a ship. But Mercedes proves you don't need expensive sets, you can be enough just as you are! Amber's on Glee after all! She's a beautiful shining misfit! Underdogs 4 life. 

After all this mess Cher sang ANOTHER song and it was new and it was a ballad which I have to say was a pretty terrible idea. GIVE ME A CLASSIC OR GIVE ME NOTHING. I was honestly shocked she didn't sing Woman's World (tell the truth!). She did wear a feather headpiece though so at least all was not lost. Chaz wept in the audience as he watched his mother perform which was honestly so beautiful. I will never tire of the beauty of Cher being the mother of Chaz Bono. TOO MANY FEELINGS. Then they did a dance off round wear couples went "head to head" and danced to the same clip of a Cher song using the same style of dance. The great thing about this is that we got to listen to the SAME EXACT clip of a Cher song twice back to back which seemed like a pretty poorly thought out plan. 

Corbin beat Elizabeth in the cha-cha even though Elizabeth has personality and Corbin just has impeccable technique (WHATEVER). The hot guy and Leah danced the rumba and Leah actually came out on top!  Then Jack and Bill did disco which we literally saw Bill do like 20 minutes earlier. My bf wins and everything feels warm. 

In pretty great news the hot guy gets voted off! Honestly I have to hand it to him for lasting this long on what I'm sure has to be a miniature sized fan base. Kudos to you hot guy! But I will not miss seeing your empty soul and bronzed face every week! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

WE'LL MISS YOU CHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jennylikestv]

Saturday Night Live Recap: Kerry Washington and Eminem

by Jenny

Wow. I thought Kerry Washington nailed it, you guys. And can we talk about how she is literally the most beautiful person that's ever lived? Like. It's distracting. She also seems nice and cool and I don't know... do I love her? I think I might love her. (Sidenote: I also JUST started Scandal so maybe I am in overload mode.)

I thought this whole night was pretty solid. I haven't seen the Eminem (?!? did you guys know he was back) performances because Hulu I guess didn't allow it? I don't really understand why Hulu withholds certain sketches and performances. Is it a "rights" situation? Someone explain it to me. I don't feel like Googling it. 

BEST:

Alright, thank you SNL, for addressing the fact that you literally hired a million similar looking white guys and still don't have a black woman on the show. I'm SURE there's one out there for you. I AM ACTUALLY 100% SURE SHE'S OUT THERE FOR YOU. So, yeah, mazel tov on recruiting Kerry Washington to host so you can actually do some sketches with black women in them but also, like, figure it out. That being said, I appreciated this Meta cold open. AND I DON'T NORMALLY LIKE META.

The women are really nailing it this season. Granted they did just lose a lot of their heavy hitting men (hence the over-compensation on white dudes) but this season is really shaping up to be one for the ladies. Aidy, Vanessa, & Kate all got to really shine with characters in this Miss Universe sketch. Nothing else in the world deserves to be parodied more than beauty pagents for there is nothing more ludicrous. 

Okay, I lied. Dating shows also deserve to be parodied just as much as beauty pageants. The "Next" monologues have always been one of my favorite things and this sketch did a GORGEOUS job with them. Once again the ladies got to shine. THANK YOU. Taran Killam has taken on all the Bill Hader game show host gigs (as seen in Miss Universe) and Jason Sudeikis' general white guy parts. Sorry, new guys, until Taran Killam leaves, you will be backstage staring at each other for a WHILE.

Kenan and Jay got a lot of play this week now that they were actually able to do sketches about black people and not just impressions of Jay Z and Al Sharpton. I believe they did this sketch when Maya Rudolph hosted a while ago and just planted Kerry Washington into it but it still worked and I was happy to see it again.

WORST:

I felt my heart wanting to like Nasim Pedrad in this sketch but my body saying no. I think they are really gunning to get some characters going for these ladies, but they keep being just slightly off. I do enjoy a good laser noise and a good jump step but Kerry Washington actually was the one who made this sketch, not Nasim. "Respect my ability to assess a bucket."

I can get into a weird digital short, FOR SURE. Some of the best Andy Samberg-era digital shorts were the insane, non-sensical ones NOT just the musical ones. I think they hired a bunch of these dudes like John Milhiser and Kyle Mooney who were already kinda internet famous so that they could bring back the digital short sans-Andy but so far it hasn't been hitting. This one about ice cream has the classic formula of a white guy internet sketch group aka lots of unexplained weirdness and not really any pay-off. Great for a respected internet sketch group, not so great for SNL. (Sidenote: this was filmed in Sundaes and Cones which is a GREAT ice cream shop.)

RUNNERS UP:

Kate McKinnon as the German Chancellor on Weekend Update who is worried Barack Obama saw her depressing "tiny emails" (texts) that she sent to her ex-boyfriend. Because Kate McKinnon is just so amazing and how could you not?

Overall, GOOD SHOW. Now hire a black woman, SNL. GEEZ.