Welcome to the Otherworld Outpost: Where Trees Whisper and Badges Glow
Hello, dear reader! It appears that you have stumbled upon my work-mandated blog, which the Chief said is now part of my job description and stated in my contract, and I must document strange forest stories for ‘archival purposes’ (or maybe just their amusement).
In all fairness I don’t actually remember applying for this job or really how I got here I was just walking the ‘beaten path’, needed a wee, and well now I’m wearing brand new khaki shorts and a hat with a polo adorning this logo of the Otherworld Outpost, the Chief in all their infinite wisdom and ominousness said I have to show you it and tell you that you can get a sticker of it for your water bottles.
They also said I must talk about something weird as well as our motto is ‘See something weird’, so I suppose I will talk about the tree I saw on the way here, it was like normal trees, I suppose, but it had a face on it made of bottle caps and plastic… I guess it’s not really that weird, just some mindless vandalism to nature by a family or something, but it started whispering of a recycled past life and then began pining for a new lease on life. (Not really weird, is it, a talking tree?)
But then again, I could talk about the Chief here; they are quite strange. They wear the same Khaki shorts and silly hat I do, plus they have the signature polo shirt on, but they also have a bandana around their neck—you know the ones the scouts wear, but theirs has badges on it! Weird badges though nothing like the ‘great chippy hike’ one of them is ‘Alien first responder’ oh! And this really cute one with a gerbil on it, they said it was ‘excellent tunnelling skills in sawdust by embodying a gerbil’. Quite weird if you ask, but then again, I don’t have many achievements to rant about. Before I got this job, I was ‘Funemployed’ which conveniently has earned me a patch that appeared on a sash seconds after typing this! Ha that is another weird thing! (The patch is kinda cool, it glows in the dark)
Anyway, back to the Chief! Like I said, they dressed like me because it is the uniform and littered with cool patches with a sick feather in their hat, but they have a face I simply can’t describe and a voice. They never even blinked or opened their mouth to speak it was all in our minds (super weird—and that makes what, three now?)
You dear reader must think I’m mental for not freaking out but I just saw my contract and well I’m making bank and looking out at nature and According to the Chief, strange forest stories are ‘80% of our funding.’ The other 20%? Mysterious vending machine revenue.
Perhaps this little ranger job won’t be so bad after all and next week I can tell you more about the outpost office once I find the key to get back in I locked myself out onto the balcony, I could use the zipline to get into the breakroom but the Chief said I need to get my ‘to zip or not to zip off the balcony test badge’ whatever that’s supposed to mean.
This is Ranger J signing off - See weird, Say weird, Stay weird.










